Speaker 1: So you have to have good banter by text, not
Speaker 1: too much. You don't want to keep going and going
Speaker 1: and droning on, but you want to hook them in
Speaker 1: by saying, you know, by being authentically yourself, and by
Speaker 1: being a little shocking and a little disruptive in a
Speaker 1: way that is engaging, not in a way that makes
Speaker 1: you like a psychopath. But when you're not getting exactly
Speaker 1: what you want, meaning the normal version of interest, then
Speaker 1: you just shut down. You are closed, you have dissolved,
Speaker 1: you have evaporated, And in most cases, if you hook
Speaker 1: them in the beginning, they'll come and be disengaged, and
Speaker 1: what you'll say is either a yeah, I'm a serious person,
Speaker 1: so I lose interest pretty quickly. So if someone's not
Speaker 1: engaged with clear intentions and accountability, I lose interest because
Speaker 1: that's confident. That's walking away from the business sale. It's
Speaker 1: not like weed, you didn't call me, you didn't text
Speaker 1: me and give all these dumb, dumb rules. It's being
Speaker 1: the confident, grown ass woman that you are that basically
Speaker 1: says things like something that I've said, I've said this sentence,
Speaker 1: I've said yeah, without clear intention and pursuit. I lose
Speaker 1: interest I've said that sentence and people have literally chewed
Speaker 1: up their own food, spit it out, chewed up my
Speaker 1: food and eaten it out of my hand. Like, basically,
Speaker 1: you don't accept less than what you deserve. You don't
Speaker 1: date down, you don't take scraps, you don't date boys,
Speaker 1: and you don't date charming. You have self respect, and
Speaker 1: you don't accept less than what you deserve. Clear communication
Speaker 1: means no games. You're not on your first date one
Speaker 1: drink and saying I want to get married, I want
Speaker 1: to have kids, because that's ridiculous anyway, who is this guy?
Speaker 1: You don't know, You don't know that you want that.
Speaker 1: Don't be desperate you're interviewing him. We all are sitting
Speaker 1: at these women like, oh my god, he's texting me yippie.
Speaker 1: What are you a dog waiting for a treat? No,
Speaker 1: you decide, you're body of your choice. Another big fatal flaw,
Speaker 1: women and judging each date, going low, getting miserable, eating
Speaker 1: ice cream, going home, self loathing because the date didn't
Speaker 1: go well. A he didn't call, Okay, great, he didn't call.
Speaker 1: He doesn't like you. Who cares? It's the only person
Speaker 1: in your life. You're only gonna meet. You're at a
Speaker 1: restaurant and there's one dish on the whole fucking menu.
Speaker 1: That's all you could eat the rest of your life
Speaker 1: is this one angel hair Arabiata. No who cares good?
Speaker 1: You don't know what's going on with them. Maybe it
Speaker 1: doesn't like you. Maybe he thinks you're annoying, Maybe he's
Speaker 1: going through a breakup. Maybe he's a mama's boy. You
Speaker 1: have no idea. So also getting home and like feeling
Speaker 1: depressed because you've gone so many bad dates. You know
Speaker 1: what those dates are for? Those dates are when you
Speaker 1: go walking on an apartment tour to go look at homes,
Speaker 1: which is exhausting, dehydrating and a pain in the ass.
Speaker 1: But you know what looking for a home does for you,
Speaker 1: shows you what you do want and don't want. It's
Speaker 1: a real estate search. So you decide different than everybody else.
Speaker 1: You need high ceilings and you need brightness, but you
Speaker 1: don't require a bathtub. You need to be in a
Speaker 1: good location and a gym in your building, but you
Speaker 1: don't require amazing wood floors. Whatever your thing is, so
Speaker 1: you walk away from each of these guys. You always
Speaker 1: be a class actor. You always be nice you always
Speaker 1: respond you don't ghost anybody. You're always wonderful to be around.
Speaker 1: Why Because let's say there are putts, a moron, a loser,
Speaker 1: they're not attractive. But they did one thing right. You
Speaker 1: liked that they ordered for you. You like that they
Speaker 1: opened the car door for you. That becomes something that
Speaker 1: goes on your list of things that you're going to
Speaker 1: want and that you now find out are possible because
Speaker 1: your ex didn't do any of that, and that's why
Speaker 1: you're in this situation. Your ex was not chivalrous. He
Speaker 1: was selfish. He lets you walk through a parking lot
Speaker 1: alone and didn't think about the fact that you needed
Speaker 1: to be there. He'd let you walk on the street
Speaker 1: side of the sidewalk where you could get splashed or
Speaker 1: you know, something could happen with dust in the street.
Speaker 1: This guy, this dork that you don't like, did the opposite. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's one thing that you now know why you broke
Speaker 1: up with your ex. So you take that as institutional
Speaker 1: knowledge and you find the dream apartment for you, or
Speaker 1: an apartment with things that have many things that you like,
Speaker 1: but some things you can settle for. Also, that guy,
Speaker 1: that dork that you don't like. You're gonna be nice
Speaker 1: to him. Maybe he likes you more than you like him.
Speaker 1: You're gonna say he was very handsome, you had a
Speaker 1: wonderful time, Thank you so much. When he tries to
Speaker 1: reach out, you know what, I think you're really wonderful.
Speaker 1: I'm in a weird place right now. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: that this is right, but you know what, I have
Speaker 1: so many I have many girls, and because I think
Speaker 1: you were so lovely to me and you did this,
Speaker 1: that and the other thing. Right when I think of someone,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you. Or maybe that guy works somewhere
Speaker 1: where one of your friends might want a job. Maybe
Speaker 1: that guy has other friends that you might want to
Speaker 1: go out with. Maybe that guy has a great social
Speaker 1: schedule and you might end up at a party with him.
Speaker 1: Don't be small picture, don't play checkers. Dating is getting
Speaker 1: institutional knowledge. It's crowdsourcing information only dumb, dumb, basic bitches
Speaker 1: take it on face value and start just criticizing the guy.
Speaker 1: Oh he wore ugly shoes, he did this, that's for
Speaker 1: basic bitches. You're not basic. You are the prize and
Speaker 1: you're going to figure it out along the way. So
Speaker 1: everything is an opportunity for you to grow in this
Speaker 1: dating experience and don't date boys, date men. A twenty
Speaker 1: five year old person can be a man, and a
Speaker 1: seventy five year old man can be a boy. You
Speaker 1: date men, not boys. You send them all right through
Speaker 1: the strainer, and if it's giving, boy, it's giving by
Speaker 1: Relationships can become your identity. Why you're young, You went
Speaker 1: pre wed. You wanted to be taken care of. You
Speaker 1: thought that that's something that would be the envy of millions.
Speaker 1: All your friends would love it. Everybody's going to your wedding,
Speaker 1: it's your time, et cetera. But you are entrepreneurial. But
Speaker 1: somehow you feel like it's going to satisfy you enough
Speaker 1: to be in this relationship, because this is going to
Speaker 1: be your identity. You're going to live in a cul
Speaker 1: de sac, You're gonna meet a bunch of friends. You
Speaker 1: might play tennis, you might have a cute little job.
Speaker 1: You're gonna do the costumes for the school play. And
Speaker 1: this is going to be satisfying. And then you're gonna
Speaker 1: be forty five, and then you're gonna be drinking rose
Speaker 1: with your friends, buy the washing machine, gossiping. Maybe at
Speaker 1: book club, and you're gonna be like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: am I doing? He's doing what he's doing, And now
Speaker 1: I have no purpose and I don't have a job,
Speaker 1: and I don't feel like I really went and did it.
Speaker 1: And I see people like Bethany Frankel who maybe haven't
Speaker 1: been successful in relationships, but she really fucking went and
Speaker 1: grabbed the bag. She was on the cover of Forbes magazine.
Speaker 1: She can do whatever she wants, buy whatever she wants,
Speaker 1: go wherever she wants, a date whoever she wants. And
Speaker 1: I'm sitting over here by my washing machine. So what
Speaker 1: you're gonna do is do both. You're gonna work and
Speaker 1: keep your identity in work. And if a relationship is
Speaker 1: going to debilitate or diminish that you may not be
Speaker 1: in that relationship because you got to secure something on
Speaker 1: your own. If you want to be an entrepreneur, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you want to be an entrepreneur. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you don't want to be a stay at home mom.
Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with that. But for me, had I stayed
Speaker 1: in my very secure relationship in my twenties where I
Speaker 1: knew his family would ultimately support me, where I knew
Speaker 1: that I would have financial mediocre security from my current standards,
Speaker 1: I would have stayed there, and I would have been
Speaker 1: itching because it was always in my body and my
Speaker 1: gut instinct. If it's itching inside of you but you're
Speaker 1: scared because it's not going that great and you're broke,
Speaker 1: the way to solve that is not to jump into
Speaker 1: a relationship because that's going to save you. It will
Speaker 1: not save you. It will become your identity and you
Speaker 1: will still have that itching part of you, but you'll
Speaker 1: be much older and much less marketable. Why you don't
Speaker 1: need a guy in finance trust fun blue eyes. Six '
Speaker 1: five six ' five is categorically too tall. If you
Speaker 1: are five to eleven, you probably need a guy that's
Speaker 1: six y two six ' three, and it could be
Speaker 1: six y five. And I'm not discriminating against anybody. Six
Speaker 1: y five. Tall guys are great. I think height is wonderful.
Speaker 1: You don't need a guy that's sixty five unless you
Speaker 1: want to be carried out of a fire. That's a
Speaker 1: good reason. Trust fund means entitled means, don't understand word ethic,
Speaker 1: don't understand the value of a dollar, have been given everything.
Speaker 1: It means boredom. It means they've never had to fight
Speaker 1: for something or earn something. They're not self made. It
Speaker 1: means getting really bored and cheating, unrest unsettled, It means
Speaker 1: the Emperor has no clothes. It means feeling less than
Speaker 1: and like you have no drive and purpose and you
Speaker 1: have to fill that void with toys and purchases. And
Speaker 1: it means depression. Finance means you run around with a big,
Speaker 1: swinging dick in crisp clothes, your hair slipped back with
Speaker 1: gel and some cologne, that you hang out in bars
Speaker 1: at happy hour, that you're expensing to your boss saying
Speaker 1: you have to go out for drinks on Tuesday night
Speaker 1: to go sell to other people. It means you're working
Speaker 1: for someone else. You're not making that much money. You're
Speaker 1: fronting and stunting, and you will have sex with girls
Speaker 1: and ghosts them. You do not need that guy and
Speaker 1: that girl who created the sound can do better. Do
Speaker 1: not date down, Do not accept screw apps. Women are
Speaker 1: accepting scraps. The littlest thing that he did he texted
Speaker 1: and it was a hard It wasn't a Sideway's emoji
Speaker 1: winky face. Get your life together. You're not that desperate.
Speaker 1: You'd rather be alone than date down. If you're begging
Speaker 1: for scraps and getting excited over morsels and crumbs, be
Speaker 1: alone