WEBVTT - Sarah LaFleur, Part Two 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.960 I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to What's 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.559 Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a show 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:15.400 about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and personal journeys. Together, 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.200 we'll hear from gold medalists, best selling authors, and leaders 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.840 of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday or 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:27.880 join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her Story Podcast. 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:33.120 This is part two of our two part series with 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:39.879 entrepreneur Sarah Leflour, CEO and founder of clothing brand mm Leflour. Sarah, 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:44.240 you have had a wild two years personally. Yeah, yes, 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:47.319 you you went through a lot and then I mean 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:53.239 this just expansive beauty that you welcomed three babies in 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:57.000 seven weeks. Yeah, I know, it was. It was insane. 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:58.840 It this was all through COVID as well. And you 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:01.600 know what, actually, I honestly think that got me through it. 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.200 I think if I had if I were like a 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.560 percent my job, which is I would say definitely how 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.039 I was pretty kids, then I think I might have 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:16.319 just crumbled under the stress. But there was something about like, oh, well, 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:20.920 like I've got three humans, defeat, got gotta go. You 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.800 know that, like made it somehow manageable. But yes, the 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.479 backing up a little bit, Yes, my long story is that, um, 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:32.160 you know I struggled to get pregnant for really well yeah, 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.240 for a while. But I think pretty early on I 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:38.919 learned that I had a congenital condition called a unicornuate uterus, 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.040 which basically means I have half a uterus. It's kind 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.520 of shape like a banana, which is so strange. It's 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:47.680 a it's a banana shaped uterus, and I have one 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.880 fallopian tube. And so you know, as it is, like 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:54.080 my chase are getting a pregnant or lower just because 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:57.440 like you ovulate not you know, you're not always rotating 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.960 one one um ovulating from one over versus the other, 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.920 but just it just basically means your chances are kind 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:06.120 of have to begin with. And then the biggest problem 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:08.519 was that they you know, they said, like, you're you're 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:12.640 likely to miscarry in your second trimester, even your third trimester, 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.720 so you probably want to consider surrogacy from the get go. 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.760 And I, you know, I had a hard time kind 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:24.120 of getting over that emotionally, Like that was a big 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:26.160 hurdle for me. So you know, I was like, well, 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.480 why don't I why don't I try first with IVF 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:33.560 and multiple miscarriages, you know, things really just like not 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.359 playing out the way I had hoped. And that went 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.519 on for basically two plus two and a half years, 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.519 and ultimately, um, we did turn to surrogacy and I 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:48.200 my husband Chris, and I met this incredible woman, Tricia, 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:52.760 who is the mom of two girls, twin girls, and 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:57.880 she agreed to be our carrier and we tried one 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:02.560 transfer with her um in that ild, which was devastating 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:07.240 because you kind of think like this is the last thing. Um, Like, 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:10.040 if this doesn't work, I don't know where else to turn. Anyway, 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.520 it didn't work, and so I said, Okay, I want 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:14.440 to try it one more time with a slightly different 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:18.040 protocol at IVF protocol. I got pregnant, but I was, 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:20.200 you know, pretty sure I was going to miscarry again. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.440 So I was like, let's try one more time with Tricia. 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.000 And Tricia said, you know, I wanted to try with 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.399 two embryos, like I feel like it's going to work 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:31.560 this time. And anyway, we did it, and somehow that 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:34.880 was the time that it worked. And this is like literally, 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.560 I want to say, like three weeks before we went 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:41.120 into lockdown, but Mushi Tricia ended up giving birth to 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:45.920 our twins in September, and and I actually, I'm kind 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.080 of convinced that the only reason I actually was able 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.080 to carry it a term was because of COVID. As 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.720 terrible as that sounds, like I was at home all 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:56.240 the time, like I wasn't running around like a crazy person, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:04:01.160 and uh, I always had my feet up, so I am. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.800 And actually that's that's been like I think that's been 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.480 reported in the New York Times that like they were 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:11.200 seeing historic rates of a decrease in Nikkei babies during COVID. 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.560 But anyway, so so they were born back to back, 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:18.720 and we flew out to Minnesota in September to welcome them. 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.800 And yeah, I mean I owed Tricia everything. And then 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:26.760 you gave birth when August early August? Did you take 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.720 your baby with you to meet his siblings? So we 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:33.279 didn't because we were so worried about COVID and it 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.800 looks like we were going to have to quarantine. It 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.039 was all like the it was one of those days 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.479 where the state laws were constantly changing to say, like 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:45.039 which state is now on the quarantine list versus which state? 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:49.160 Which States are not, and we were terrified that Kento 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:51.479 was going to get COVID. And that was again a 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.640 time we didn't know all that much about kids in COVID. 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.640 So we ended up leaving in with my mother in 0:04:56.720 --> 0:05:00.440 law and my aunt. My parents were still in Japan 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:01.960 this at this point. They didn't actually get to meet 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.920 the kids until they were closer to one, but my 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:07.800 bless them, My my mother in law my aunt were 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.440 champions and you know, they did all the night feeds 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.120 and all of that, and so we brought them back. 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:16.520 I think about it about ten days later. So what 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.800 is the day like now? I mean, now you are 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.880 running a company and you have three small children. I 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.840 will be I will say like, I do it with 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:27.800 a lot of help, and I just want to be 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:31.760 like super transparent about this because um, I've got a 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.520 nanny and a no pair and that is how we 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:36.760 make it work. And we've also got my mother in 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:40.280 law often coming to help, and my parents often coming 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.039 to help. And I somehow still feel like that's not 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.360 enough help. You know, just a month ago we all 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:48.360 had COVID and so it was just me, my husband 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.680 and actually my mom also got COVID with us which 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.080 was actually it helped because we had three adults instead 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.640 of two, and all of our kids dad COVID, and 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:00.680 I surprisingly got really really sick, to the point where 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:04.760 like day twelve, I'm having to take pax Lovid and um, 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.200 it was so hard. And then the day we're supposed to, 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.880 you know, emerge from quarantine, our nanny got COVID, and 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.000 actually right now our pair has COVID. So like it 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:16.760 just if I'm being totally honest, it does feel like 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.760 I am solving for one day at a time. You know, 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.240 it's like every single day, I'm like, okay, do we 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.400 have childcare today? Okay, good, I can go to work. 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:30.360 So I don't know, do you have tips? My tip 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:33.400 like listening to you a like, it is really hard, 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:38.640 and COVID has made parenting children so much harder in 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.720 different ways for babies, in different ways for teenagers. Right 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.120 my kids are young, they're seven. I have four girls 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:47.560 who are seven, six, four, and three. But listening to 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.880 your story, like I had to text Sam earlier today 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.039 and I was like, just so you know, today's madness 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.080 because there's no babysitter and the kids don't have camp, 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.640 there's COVID and another and one of my siblings families 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.560 and everything's a mess. But like I think that used 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:04.080 to derail me completely and now I'm like, well, this 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.440 is just what we're doing, right, and like we have 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:08.240 to do the best we can with what we have 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:11.400 where we are in this wild different world we live in. 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.120 And everyone I work with knows like I'll like I'll 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.240 be you know, waiting for some practice and taking calls, 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:18.560 or I get up really early and I work for 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.040 an hour and a half. Of their styles sleep, but 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.200 like I'm not available sometimes in the middle of the 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.120 day for chunks of the day and that's life. And 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.440 then like Sam is my motherhood mentor because she's a 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.800 years ahead of me. But the other thing I would 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.880 say too, is just that like there are there are 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:36.160 some things of like that I do tactically, Like I 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.280 put all of my kids clothes in the laundry room. 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.240 They live in the clip the clothes stay in the 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:43.640 laundr room. Their closets and their bedrooms are empty. That's 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:46.480 really I don't care. It's like you're all getting dressed 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:51.280 in here hours of time and then and they're fine 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:52.560 with it. And the other thing is I do the 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:55.120 same thing for dinner every Monday, the same thing every Tuesday, 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:58.280 the same thing every Wednesday, which makes grocery ordering super easy. 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.000 I don't think about it. I change it like every 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:04.760 a few months. But that's it. That's amazing advice. It 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:06.600 reminds me of my mom when when I was like 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.760 folding the baby clothes once, she was like, why are 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.400 you folding them? And I was like I don't know. 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.320 She was like, just put them in a basket and 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.480 put it away and you can just dig for whatever 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:22.080 you need. And I was like, okay, just like surprisingly 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:25.960 saved so much time. But yeah, you know, thank you 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.280 for for just even like sharing that, because I think 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:34.319 sometimes I feel I feel tremendous guilt, especially towards my colleagues, 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:36.719 you know, who are working so hard and I'm like, 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.080 oh my god, I need to like hold up my 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:44.120 end of the bargain. And and that has felt really 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:49.480 hard the past two years. And so you know, I 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:53.200 realized how I mean, I'm clearly super privileged. I also 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:55.120 run my own company, so I get to set my 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:59.880 own times, but it's um I do try to share 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:04.400 out with my team and like make it really clear, 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:07.000 and I am hoping I think. You know, I'm just 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:10.080 thinking about my executive team. It's all women. UM. Now, 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.520 it's not It wasn't like intentional. That's just kind of 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:16.080 how you know, people came, people left, and now we've 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:19.240 got an all female team. Um and for our moms 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.440 and and uh, we've all been going through some some 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:26.880 type of COVID COVID situation, and so I think we're 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:29.680 trying to show a lot of grace and understanding with 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:32.040 each other so that we can all make it work. 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.360 I'll share two things, Sarah. First, you clearly earned your 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:38.480 team's respect with your intense pre kid work ethics, So 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:41.080 I think you can drop the guilt there. They know 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.360 the Sarah who gives a hundred and fifty percent of 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.200 the time. You know. So this is a moment. I 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.200 like to call the first five years of parenting the 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.160 maintenance eres. It's so much manual labor and you just 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.480 have to get through them. And once the kids are 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.800 four or five, it will be ten times easier and 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.520 you'll be in the honeymoon period until the teen years. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:00.800 Trust me, I know that. So this will go on 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:03.320 for that much longer. You're right, and I you know 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:07.800 it's um, I mean, I love my job, so I 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:12.040 and also you know, I'm founder CEO. I would never leave. 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.240 But it is one of those moments where I suddenly 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:16.800 was like, oh, I get why women leave the workforce now, 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:21.239 and I know, and I've got to like a super supportive, 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:26.400 truly like fifty fifty husband. But it's just I seem 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.520 to be like, well, I mean, he's definitely affected by 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.720 it too. What we joke, we're like one of us 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.679 has to be the wife, who is it gonna be? 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:38.280 So yeah, okay, so so three more years, three more years. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:41.199 These baby years are really short and our careers are long, 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.680 so it's important not to make short term decisions that 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.800 affect your career forever. Amy and I tried to share 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:49.440 this with women, because once you get through those tougher years, 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:52.640 you'll be so happy you maintained what you had. Yeah. 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.880 Also you can, like you can still build during these years. 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:58.960 Like you know, I started the riveter when I was 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.560 I didn't know it, but I was pregnant with my 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.480 third daughter in three years and like you can do that, 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:07.000 like like you, Sarah, I would say, I hadn't a 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:11.160 wild amount of support. I had to nanny's and my mother, 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:13.880 and it never felt all the same. Like, you're not 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:16.000 alone in that when you have many children from young 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:17.880 Sam had her kids close together to you need a 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.640 massive amount of support and that is a big privilege 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.600 to do that, but it's a privilege that you pay 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.920 for completely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I also think you know, 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.680 Sam has always said this to me because I'm still 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:30.560 I'm still in that phase right my youngest is three. 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:34.240 But it also applies to your marriage. I mean you're 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.760 talking about you know, like with your husband's also juggling 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.400 with taking care of the kids and his job, but 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.760 like your marriage during this period. Like when people ask 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:42.200 me how my marriage is, I'm like, it's fine, but 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.400 like we have little kids, what does this even matter? Right? 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:49.440 Like the focus right now? Right and like and like 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.000 and that's okay because you can't have everything to be 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.439 wonderful and you can't dedicate massive amounts of time to 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.200 every relationship that you have with work, with your spouse, 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:00.920 with your kids. Like it's just ever shifting. And so 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.920 I think that getting through these years is really hard 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.240 and there's no easy way around it. It's so true. 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:11.040 Um my husband, I thought, like feral cats during COVID, 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.280 I thought I thought one of us is gonna kill 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.680 the other one. I'm not true it's gonna be, but 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:19.280 somehow made through alive, and I think our marriage is 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:23.520 stronger for it. UM's test testing are We've been together 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:27.280 since college, so you know, I got we're almost at 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.240 seventeen years. But it is like I do wonder like 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:35.000 had we not had like ample time to like just 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:38.640 be the two of us, whether we would have survived 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:42.360 the past two years. So yeah, it's it's testing us 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:46.360 in ways I never knew possible. Absolutely, And in terms 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:48.120 of the guilt thing, when you're at work, you're giving 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:51.160 a hundred percent and at home you're giving dred percent 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.400 of your energy there, so that eliminates a lot of 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:55.960 the guilt, but when you're feeling guilty in either place, 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:58.679 you're not giving a hundred percent. I used to feel 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.160 so guilty going on business trips when my kids were little, 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.720 and then I realized I wasn't doing anyone any good 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:06.679 because my trip wasn't going as well as it could 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:09.520 because I was feeling guilty, And then my kids weren't 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.959 benefiting from the guilt. So instead I kind of shifted 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.240 my mindset and I'd get on the plane and commit 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.080 to leaving it all behind and being present on the trip, 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.520 and that would allow me to be more present and 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.960 focused on my kids when I got home. I love that, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.520 I think, I said, my mom's an entrepreneur. But she 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.240 said something to me when we were all in COVID 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:35.040 lockdown together. She said, um, my job is my most 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.400 is the most interesting thing in my life. But the 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.560 children are the most important thing in my life. And 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.800 I thought that was a good perspective. And I was like, fine, fine, 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.760 we're not the most interesting. I never thought we were. 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:51.240 But you know, how does she feel about your career 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.120 and the fact that you've taken the entrepreneurial path. I 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.679 think when I said I was going to quit my 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.400 most private equity because she private equity job, she was like, 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:01.720 are you in the state? Are you out of your mind? 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.760 But then I was like, she's an entrepreneur in two 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.760 so there's like clearly, you know, she could not have 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.240 imagined the apple falling that far from the tree. And 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:11.120 I think she gets it. She said, she said to me, 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:14.000 when starting a business is like taking off your stockings. 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:15.360 It's like once you put them off, you can never 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.600 put them back on. She's very philosophical, but I think 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.440 it's true, you know, I am, and so she's very 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:26.680 very supportive. Um really like she was, you know, a 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.600 pioneer in many ways. Like she she lives in Japan. 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.680 She started her own business in in the early nineties, 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.760 really unheard of, I mean in Japan period, but like 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:40.400 especially you know, thirty years ago, kind of just it 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:44.800 didn't exist. And she always said, um, you know, my 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.880 company is the kind of company where work in life 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:51.320 mix all the time, and that's okay. So if if 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.280 one of my kids calls me during the work day, 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:55.480 I'm going to take the call. And if your mom 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.520 is ill and you want to go home and take 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.600 care of her, you go do that. And so she 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.720 she you know, she's been running her company now for 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:07.400 thirty years, and you know, it's a collective of these 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.680 women who have a lot of caretaking responsibilities, whether that's 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:14.720 Asian parents or younger kids or now grandkids. But she's like, 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:16.440 it's all people who love to work, and so we 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.440 just kind of all make it work. And I think, 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:22.800 I mean, she's obviously, um, a big hero of mine, 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.520 but I think in many ways, the her way of 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.600 of approaching things has kind of slipped into my subconscious 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.920 and it's just so different from I think how I 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.800 was trained to work being in corporate America the first 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:39.960 few years where I actually remember this one conversation or 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.720 like one of my one of my colleagues was really 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.360 sick and she needed to go to the emergency room 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:47.760 and her boss said something to the effective, well, like, 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:51.480 you can't really get sick at this job, as though 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.920 it were like a choice, you know, But that's that's 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:58.880 actually so much of I think how corporate America operates 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.160 or and has offer read it. Hopefully it's starting to 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.000 change a little bit, and so I really am trying 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.480 to do something different. I think I myself am the 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.080 test case, like, you know, can I make it work? 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.160 And hopefully can other people benefit from it where women 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.800 can stay in the workforce and and and also feel 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:17.520 like they can be there for the people who are 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:23.080 important for her. And now a quick break. We're gonna 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.000 go to the speed round now, so we'll ask some 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:27.840 brief questions and you can give us quick answers. What 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:31.400 book are you reading. It's called The Magician. It's amazing, 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:35.600 so it's home. I'm not going to pronounce his last 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.880 name correctly, it's a it's an Irish last name, toy Bin. 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.360 But anyway, it's an amazing book. It's about Thomas Mann, 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:48.640 the great author, and who was gay, and it's it's 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.720 I mean, it's fiction, but it's it's uh, it's seen 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:56.920 through his eyes growing up in in Germany, part of 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.600 a Jewish, a really well established Jewish family, and what 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.200 happened to him. And I should say like maybe, and 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:04.840 fiction is totally my escape. I think it's like the 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.000 one thing that really takes my mind off a lot 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.240 of the things that are going on. Your mom's drink 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.880 of choice was whiskey. What's your drink of choice? I 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.600 love to drink um. But actually right now I've been 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:17.600 drinking a lot of spin drift because I feel like 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:19.720 I can't handle my alcohol the way I used to, 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:23.240 So I am. I'm actually as soon as I put 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.000 the kids to bed, I just like pop a spin 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:28.760 drift grapefruit the grape fruit flavor, and I actually poured 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:30.359 into a wine glass and it makes me feel like 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.200 I'm having a cocktail. Who leaves you star struck? Gosh, 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.719 I'm gonna have to go with dear drink. Quinn She's 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:39.359 the founder and CEO of Lafayette One, which is just 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.800 an incredible brand. And she is a founder CEO that 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:47.440 I admire so much, and whenever I'm in her presence, 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:51.000 I just feel like I want to like suck all 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:55.600 of her wisdom. Um and anyway, so she she's wonderful. 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.439 Where do you see yourself in ten years? Oh, I 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:01.399 hope I'm CEO of I'm am or I love it 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.320 And maybe that's why I'm on an entrepreneur like I don't. 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:08.159 I don't see myself like starting many many many businesses. 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:10.959 Like I think like I found something I really like 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:14.159 and I would love to keep doing it. Lou Burns 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:16.960 has been listening to our entire interview. He comes in 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:20.960 at the end with a male perspective. Take it away, Lou, 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:25.720 I'm wondering about your husband and what he felt and 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:31.000 thought the moment like maybe like during the trimester when 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.720 you both realize that, like, oh ship, we're going to 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:42.199 have three more mouths butts in this house. Did you 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.640 guys have a conversation about that? What was that that moment? Like? 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.879 So actually, so when when I think I share Tricia, 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:53.600 our carrier said, like, let's transfer to embryos. And I 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:55.239 remember Chris and I said, we were about to go 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.520 visit his brother in Philadelphia. So we were sitting at 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.159 the ANTRAC station, Philidate Helfia station, and this was right 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.800 after my um the first transfer had failed, and so 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:05.480 we were feeling really really low and we were about 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:08.040 to go see family, and we were like, like, we 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.240 didn't feel like we could be like chepy about it anyway. 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:14.240 Chris was like, we should definitely only transfer one embryo 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:17.000 because what happens if we end up with twins? And 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.399 I was like, we would be so lucky if we 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.960 ended up with twins, you know. And and we actually 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:25.920 called the doctor to say like, is there a chance 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:29.719 of twins? And the doctor view of the nurse relaid 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:31.879 the message to us, don't worry, there's no chance of 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:36.320 twins because the embryo qualities are so low. And then 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.280 we ended up with twins with Tricia. And so he 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:42.000 was like, I told you so. I think told you so. 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:48.960 So I think he was like in in shock horror 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.399 way longer than I was. I just moved to Cloud 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:57.280 nine like stupor quickly, and he was like, what on 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:00.560 earth just happened? But he got over it and actually 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.520 he's like, it's easier and you could just do it 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.920 all at once what and done? So yeah, he got 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:09.680 there emotionally. It took a while though. Now when they 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:14.600 started eating solid food, was everybody assigned the child? What 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.679 was it like? So actually, I'll tell you somehow, eating 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:21.480 I found easier because, um, you can just like you're 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:23.679 feeding them with like a spoon, right, and so you're 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:25.520 just going from one to you know, and you can 0:20:25.800 --> 0:20:28.879 like they're chewing while while the other one is getting fed, 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:32.959 and it somehow works. What I actually found hardest was 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.800 bottle feeding because it's like you have to hold up 0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:39.440 three bottles at the same time, Like, how on earth 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:42.160 do you do it unless you have two people there 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.120 at all times, which is not always a given. Um, 0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:48.280 And we ended up buying something that you definitely cannot 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:52.119 find in America because I think every American mom or 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:54.880 any American would find it so shameful. But you can. 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:58.119 So we found it on a Chinese Amazon website and 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:01.719 it's it's like like almost a necklace that you strap 0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:03.919 around your baby's neck and you can put the bottle 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:07.040 in the necklace and so you can like literally you 0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:10.600 can it can be hands free and so literally we 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:13.120 would just like put the necklace on all three babies 0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:16.560