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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Cosson and iHeart

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Speaker 1: Radio and People's Choice Award nominated podcast.

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Speaker 2: We got the nomination down there.

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Speaker 3: What is that gonna stay there for years to come?

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Speaker 3: In like three years? Nominated back in twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 2: For the wind Down. Yeah, I mean that would be

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Speaker 2: nice if it said Wine Doown winner, that would be great. Hey,

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Speaker 2: speaking of Wine Down, we are doing a Wine Doown

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Speaker 2: tour and we are going to Atlanta, Chicago, Michigan. I

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Speaker 2: don't know why I always have to sing Michigan because

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Speaker 2: it's my hometown. Nashville, Philly, Philly, Maryland, Maryland, a few

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Speaker 2: other places, Louisville, Louisville. So get your tickets because we're

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Speaker 2: gonna sit down. So people keep kind of asking, like,

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Speaker 2: what's this live podcast thing about. It's not really a

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Speaker 2: live podcast. It's more like an evening with So we're

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Speaker 2: gonna sit down, we're gonna talk, we're gonna play games,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna have fun. My girls, Sarah's going to be

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Speaker 2: there with us, and then we'll have some surprise guests

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Speaker 2: along the way.

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Speaker 3: We interact, we interact questions, we ask questions, we bring

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Speaker 3: people up on stage, We uh, Jana sings at the

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Speaker 3: end of the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I sing like a forty five minute hour set.

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Speaker 2: It's just a lot of fun. So we really want

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Speaker 2: you guys to wind down with us. Go to Janacramer

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Speaker 2: dot com or Ticketmaster to get your tickets, and then

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Speaker 2: we also signed to at the end of the show,

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Speaker 2: so it's really fun. We get to meet all of

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Speaker 2: you guys. And if you want to go to an

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Speaker 2: actual live podcast, Ben and Ashley are actually doing one too,

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Speaker 2: the Almost Famous Live January eleventh at the Palace of

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Speaker 2: Fun Arts and sin fran So get your tickets on

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Speaker 2: ticketmaster dot com for the Almost Famous Live. So super fun.

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Speaker 2: You know, it started to really take off those events.

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Speaker 2: Even I was talking to the scribbing in girls because

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Speaker 2: they're they're wanting to do that too, and I think

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Speaker 2: it's a I think it's really cool. I know Dak

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Speaker 2: Shepherd's coming to Nashville soon, which I want to check out.

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Speaker 3: That's about the competition, I know.

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Speaker 2: Well, I wonder because I know it's a live podcast,

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Speaker 2: but we don't record ours, just because I feel like

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Speaker 2: if it was recorded then it was like people would

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Speaker 2: be like, I'll just watch it on YouTube or listen to.

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Speaker 3: It and our outlook is people want to come see

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Speaker 3: something that they can't get elsewhere.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's what I'm just I'm just curious, like

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Speaker 2: if are they all and when they say live podcasts,

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Speaker 2: is it actually can you listen to it on the show?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Yeah, do you.

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Speaker 4: Know, Mark, I think it depends on I think it

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Speaker 4: almost famous will be a podcast you'll be able to download.

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Speaker 4: I think it varies from show to show, but I

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Speaker 4: think most of them like to do that. They like

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Speaker 4: to kind of double up, you know. They they did

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Speaker 4: the show and then they record the show and then

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Speaker 4: there are podcasts that's done for that week.

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Speaker 3: And I can see the entry on that too for

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Speaker 3: people for audience members if they you know, if the

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Speaker 3: podcaster interacts with the audience like we do, and they

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Speaker 3: get to go back and listen to themselves interact at

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Speaker 3: the you know, evening with on the next week during

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Speaker 3: the during when it aired. But that's not what we do.

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Speaker 2: Well, if they want to see that, then they can

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Speaker 2: go to Tully and download the Telly app because that's

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Speaker 2: kind of a little version of that. We have a

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Speaker 2: show called in Perfect Harmony that we're doing too, So

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Speaker 2: that's really fun.

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Speaker 3: So just lots going on eighth Central.

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Speaker 2: Look at that, babe, So excited for the show.

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Speaker 5: Today.

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Speaker 2: We have Gabrielle Stone coming on and I actually met

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Speaker 2: her mom because she played my grandma in the Lifetime

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Speaker 2: movie that's coming out November seventeenth, Dee Wallace's daughter. So

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Speaker 2: she's got a book out that's out called Eat Prey

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Speaker 2: hashtag FML and the very crazy story because I actually

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Speaker 2: I was talking to her mom and I had no

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Speaker 2: idea who Gabrielle was the time, But then when you

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Speaker 2: started talking about this guy that she dated, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, is your daughter Gabrielle? Because I knew

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Speaker 2: all about Gabrielle because the acts told me, and you.

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Speaker 3: Knew Gabrielle's name.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Interesting, but you didn't put.

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Speaker 2: Too never put two and two together ever. So it's

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Speaker 2: just it was like, so stay tuned to hear it's interesting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, gabrielle story is very interesting.

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Speaker 2: It is. So I'm excited to talk to her and

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Speaker 2: sit down with her later and then drink a lot

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Speaker 2: of wine tonight with her. Yeah why not? So what's

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Speaker 2: new in your world, Coffin?

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Speaker 3: Oh man, we have a lot coming up the next

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Speaker 3: couple of months. So really everything I have going on,

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Speaker 3: you have going on. This week, we've been surviving without

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Speaker 3: a nanny.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been that's been fun. But also I feel

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Speaker 2: like it's doable too.

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Speaker 3: It is it is. I mean, you know that signs

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Speaker 3: spoiled or we're fortunate enough to have a nanny that

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Speaker 3: we love and that you know does a fantastic job,

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Speaker 3: but it's it's I will say I'm impressed with how

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Speaker 3: we've handled it this week because there's been a lot.

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Speaker 3: It takes a lot of communication, right to be on

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Speaker 3: the same page. And I feel like any relationship, and

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Speaker 3: us especially, you just kind of anticipate or expect the

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Speaker 3: other one to know your schedule, whether you put it

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Speaker 3: in the calendar or whether you talked about it two

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Speaker 3: weeks ago, and expect the other person to remember. I

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Speaker 3: feel like we've done a good job at staying on

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Speaker 3: top of this week and expressing what we needed. Now,

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Speaker 3: maybe we can carry that over into weeks that even

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Speaker 3: when we do have the nanny, right, it would probably

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Speaker 3: be helpful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like there's a lot of times

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Speaker 2: it's like, hey, I have this at ten o'clock, I

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Speaker 2: have a call it's very important, can you take the kids?

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Speaker 2: And if not? Because most of the time I would

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Speaker 2: never say anything, and then I would just get mad

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Speaker 2: at you for like, don't you know that I have

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Speaker 2: this thing today at ten? So I would like unfairly

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Speaker 2: get frustrated with you because I would figure that you

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Speaker 2: either looked at the calendar or like that I had

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Speaker 2: to work. So it's just I think naming like what

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Speaker 2: you have to do has been.

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Speaker 3: Helpful for sure, and I appreciate you are challenging that.

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Speaker 3: Which part the fact that you understand that you don't

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Speaker 3: I have in the past, I mean, done that, always

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Speaker 3: do that?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, well I've definitely feel like I've gotten

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Speaker 2: better at it. It's like ask for It's like, ask

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Speaker 2: for what you need. But the problem that I have

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Speaker 2: a hard time with because I remember talking to my therapist,

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Speaker 2: She's like, ask for help, but I'm like, I have

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Speaker 2: a really hard time with that because it's like when

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Speaker 2: if you ask for help but then they don't really

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Speaker 2: do it the right way or they don't do it.

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Speaker 2: It's like I don't want to have to ask you

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Speaker 2: to do the kids laundry. I don't want to ask

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Speaker 2: you to clean up the stuff in the back. I

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Speaker 2: don't want to have to ask you to do those things.

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Speaker 2: But then it feels like when you're doing everything, so

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Speaker 2: it's like how do you because I'm like, I would

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Speaker 2: just think that you would help with those things, right,

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Speaker 2: and then we have our duties and you have yours

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Speaker 2: and I have mine. But then it's just you know,

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Speaker 2: So that's where I have like a hard time. I

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Speaker 2: have a tough time with that because I'm like, what's

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Speaker 2: my role and there's your role, but then also asking

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Speaker 2: for help and like when to ask for help?

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Speaker 3: Well, and that's where I feel, you know, sometimes where

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Speaker 3: you maybe you don't take something as your role. And

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Speaker 3: I think we split things pretty evenly, like it just

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Speaker 3: kind of goes We'll like a seesaw kind of goes

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Speaker 3: back and forth because we both have done like everything

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Speaker 3: that is required to whether the kids or dinner or

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Speaker 3: stuff for us or whatever, we've both done those things.

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Speaker 3: But I but I do feel like sometimes when you

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Speaker 3: do do something, maybe like even though you're doing it,

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Speaker 3: your first thought might be, well, why do I Why

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Speaker 3: am I doing this right now? Why don't I do this?

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Speaker 3: And I'm like in my head when I when I

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Speaker 3: do something, I just kind of do it because it

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Speaker 3: needs to get done. I don't necessarily think, not, well,

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Speaker 3: Janel should be doing this right now.

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Speaker 2: And that's what you think.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking, mad, That's I do. That's what I make up.

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Speaker 3: I make up that because at times, not often, not always,

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Speaker 3: not none of those pronouns. At times you make it.

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Speaker 3: You'll make a comment about the laundry or something or

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Speaker 3: whatever after you had just completed that task, and I'm like, what, okay.

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Speaker 3: In my head, I'm like then the whole time, you

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Speaker 3: just sit there. Anytime you do something, you think, why

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Speaker 3: didn't I do this already?

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Speaker 2: No, I don't think it. I can see how you

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Speaker 2: think that. I don't. I don't do that. I just

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Speaker 2: have a hard time with you know. I just I

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Speaker 2: wonder the timeline sometimes and like do you see the

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Speaker 2: laundry filling up? I'm like, would you ever get it?

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Speaker 2: You know, I've talked I talked to Leslie about this

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Speaker 2: a whole time. It's like even her sons, it's like

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Speaker 2: they would probably buy new underwear before they ever clean

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Speaker 2: their underwear.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's just and like the same with like Chris, I'm

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Speaker 2: not faulting you. I'm just really just trying to bring

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Speaker 2: up a topic of discussion.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is a great topic though, because I do

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Speaker 3: ironically I have something to bring to your attention.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so.

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Speaker 3: Last week I had a poker night.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, you took a bath I did.

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Speaker 3: You had wine.

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Speaker 2: I was still drinking it.

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Speaker 3: There was a wine glass on the edge of our bathtub,

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Speaker 3: in between where the two twel racks are that I

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Speaker 3: saw sitting there for a couple of days, and I said,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I'm going to leave that and see

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Speaker 3: if Janna picks it.

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Speaker 2: Up, oh a little game.

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Speaker 3: After a few days, I said, you know what, I

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Speaker 3: need to at least move this glass so someone's towel

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Speaker 3: doesn't knock it and breaks and shatters all over our

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Speaker 3: bathroom floor. So I moved it onto our counter.

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Speaker 2: I didn't notice that in.

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Speaker 3: The bathroom in between our sinks. I left it there

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Speaker 3: for another two days, still did not move. So today

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Speaker 3: I finally said that's enough, I'm just going to move

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Speaker 3: the glass. I didn't say anything. I didn't bring it up.

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Speaker 3: I just moved it, put it in the sink, and

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Speaker 3: put water in it to clean.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even notice the glass.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't notice that. I remember having it, and

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Speaker 2: I remember putting it there, and I remember being too

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Speaker 2: tired to go put it in the kitchen, and I

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Speaker 2: truly have I totally forgot about it.

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Speaker 3: There, right, And so when I knows, two nights ago,

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Speaker 3: when I let the dogs out at night and they're

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Speaker 3: chewing my paintbrushes, I said, you know what, I'm too

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Speaker 3: tired of cleaning that up right now, I'm gonna deal

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Speaker 3: with it before the weekend.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it's so funny. It truly is funny. Though it

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Speaker 2: really is like a double standard.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I appreciate you admitting that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. I can admit that full circle.

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's a lot of relationships out there

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Speaker 3: that are like, yes, yep, you're.

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Speaker 2: Right, double standard. Okay.

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Speaker 6: The way I've always looked at it was like that

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Speaker 6: kind of like in basketball, like shot attempts versus baskets made,

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Speaker 6: because like Allison is just drained in threes all day

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Speaker 6: long in terms of keeping the house together, and I'm

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Speaker 6: I'm not even taking a shot, you know, And like

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Speaker 6: so when I do and I miss, then it's like

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Speaker 6: a bigger deal because I was like my one chance

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Speaker 6: to like keep this place clean, and I left my

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Speaker 6: backpack on the floor again, and I think, you know,

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Speaker 6: and I see there's in there's an imbalance there in

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Speaker 6: terms of like stuff being done around the house.

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Speaker 2: And uh.

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Speaker 6: And then I go into the whole. Well, I make

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Speaker 6: all the money, you know, and it doesn't matter. It's

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Speaker 6: it's our house and we should both be working equally

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Speaker 6: to keep maintaining.

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Speaker 2: Is that what you say?

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Speaker 3: That's one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: What I said.

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Speaker 1: What did she do?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 6: Well, she says that's you know, that's true, But that's

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Speaker 6: not fair for you to say because because it's not

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Speaker 6: you know, and uh, And that's an art that's a

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Speaker 6: place that I like fall back to sometimes, uh, because

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Speaker 6: I feel guilty about not doing more stuff around the house.

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Speaker 3: And that's what and that's what it is.

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Speaker 6: And that's maybe getting defensive and you know and being

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Speaker 6: motivated by shame. But I see there's a problem.

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Speaker 3: I'm working on it. Yeah, No, I totally get that.

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Speaker 3: And I mean I think there definitely is something to

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Speaker 3: be said for that. And you know, like in our relationship,

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Speaker 3: I'm not the breadwinner. But at the same time, like

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Speaker 3: I can understand why in relationships like if I gave

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Speaker 3: Janna all the time for stuff, whether around the house

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Speaker 3: or anything else, it's like, well, I'm doing something here,

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Speaker 3: you know, I am doing something to do. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to have to remind you, but I do pull weight.

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Speaker 3: It may not look the same as you would like,

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Speaker 3: but you know, so I could definitely see how that

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Speaker 3: would be aggravating.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, again, it should be equal no

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Speaker 2: matter who's pulling.

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Speaker 3: Right, And we do honestly for opposition, we do a

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Speaker 3: fantastic job.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we do.

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Speaker 2: We do a great job. I mean, there's plenty of

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Speaker 2: husbands that I know that don't do half as much

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Speaker 2: as you know what we do together, right, you do, so, Mad,

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Speaker 2: Mad props always for that. October is a giant month

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Speaker 2: of travel, and there's some things that I'm doing just

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Speaker 2: for the paycheck. And you know, I hate to say that,

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Speaker 2: but you know, because I'd rather be home with the kids,

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Speaker 2: and traveling is just like to be away as much

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Speaker 2: as I'm going to be in October, It's it's already

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Speaker 2: like stressing me out. But I know that I have

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Speaker 2: to go and I need to make the money, and

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Speaker 2: you know, for the family. And Mike does a really

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Speaker 2: good job of at least appreciating that, and we'll text

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Speaker 2: me and say, hey, I appreciate the hard work right now.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes like that validation is like okay, like yeah,

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Speaker 2: let's get on this plane, let's do this. You know,

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Speaker 2: so I don't know, like I do personally, I like

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Speaker 2: that appreciation because I know that, like he's not taking

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Speaker 2: it for granted, that he knows the sacrifice that I'm

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Speaker 2: making because I don't want to be away from the

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Speaker 2: kids ever, which is why I'm trying to, you know,

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Speaker 2: smuggle the kids into New York when we have a

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Speaker 2: New York trip later in October. So and he's like, well,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to take him, and I'm like I do,

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Speaker 2: and I don't. I'm going to be gone so much

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Speaker 2: this month and so, but yeah, it's interesting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that that appreciate that appreciation is important.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate your acknowledging.

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Speaker 2: That you appreciate you appreciation. I appreciate you because I

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Speaker 2: do try.

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Speaker 3: I do, I do try to make a conscious effort

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Speaker 3: because I know your personality. I know you don't want

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Speaker 3: to and my person and audi not that I want

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Speaker 3: to be away from the kids more than you. Do,

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Speaker 3: or I care less than you do. But my mindset

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Speaker 3: maybe this is just a real thing too. It's like,

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Speaker 3: all right, this is my job. I gotta get it done.

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Speaker 3: I gotta go. End of story where I feel maybe

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Speaker 3: this could be a generalization women. Maybe because of the

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Speaker 3: mother motherly feeling, You're just like, no, I don't want

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Speaker 3: to leave at all for any reason.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate leaving.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you do.

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Speaker 2: I hate it because then I'm like, my kids don't

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Speaker 2: even know me. It's like we just spent and I'm

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Speaker 2: really like, I see them all the time, but it's

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Speaker 2: just those two three four day trips that just kind

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Speaker 2: of eat me up back to back. But it's all good. Okay. Well,

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Speaker 2: in other news, Sarah's here and also my friend Gabriella

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Speaker 2: just pulled into so let's get them on the show. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I'm really excited because I know I just because so

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Speaker 2: I had the pleasure of I'm going to talk about

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Speaker 2: you like you're not here right now.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cool, I'll wait.

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Speaker 2: I had the pleasure of working with our next guest

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Speaker 2: Mom on Christmas in Louisiana, which is premiering November seventeenth.

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Speaker 2: Don't laugh, Cruise I'm.

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Speaker 7: Laughing at Christmas and Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I was on a Lifetime movie Christmas and Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: It's always on late day movie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Lifetime is lit. No, I love it, but I

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Speaker 2: just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't like especially Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't like to like you known. Okay,

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Speaker 2: here we go.

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Speaker 7: Janna's in a movie that's coming out November seventeenth on Lifetime.

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Speaker 2: Christmas and Louisiana, Thank You, with d Wallace, and I

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Speaker 2: had the pleasure of working with her, and she's she

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Speaker 2: kept telling me about her daughter and about her book

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Speaker 2: because I was kind of sharing my story with your

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Speaker 2: mom and she was just like, oh, my goodness, you

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Speaker 2: know you and my daughter, you guys have so much

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Speaker 2: in common. And then I got your book that second

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Speaker 2: I amazoned it and it was called Eat Prey hashtag FML,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, she's already my best FRIENDECT.

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Speaker 2: I love her. So everyone welcome. Gabrielle Stone, Thank you,

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I love your book. Thank you, because some

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Speaker 2: halfway through I haven't finished it yet, but what I

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Speaker 2: love about it, and this is what your mom told

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Speaker 2: me too, was she was just like, you had offers

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Speaker 2: to do a book deal with other publishers, and you

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Speaker 2: were like, no, like, I'm doing it my way and

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Speaker 2: this is how I want to do it. And I

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Speaker 2: love that because it shows too in the book, like

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Speaker 2: your your voice in the book is just like this

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Speaker 2: is this is it? You know, and you didn't like

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Speaker 2: hold back on anything. I think maybe people would be like, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe like ten, like go sus softer on this note

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Speaker 2: or yeah.

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Speaker 1: And that's what a lot of the bigger publishing places

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Speaker 1: wanted to do, is well, maybe we should tone it down,

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Speaker 1: maybe we don't write about like this bad situation. And

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Speaker 1: that felt so inauthentic to me. And I knew that

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Speaker 1: when all this stuff was happening to me, if I

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Speaker 1: was going to share it with the world, it needed

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Speaker 1: to be done in a vulnerable, true, authentic way, and

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Speaker 1: the best way to do that was to just kind

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Speaker 1: of keep control and do it by myself.

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Speaker 3: What inspired you to share it publicly?

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Speaker 1: So for a little backstory, I was married for almost

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Speaker 1: two years, found out my husband was having an affair

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Speaker 1: with the nineteen year old for six months, filed for divorce,

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Speaker 1: left shortly after that, met a man, fell madly in

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Speaker 1: love with each other, was like a whirlwind romance and

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Speaker 1: convinced me to go on a month long trip to

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Speaker 1: Italy with him. Forty eight hours before we were getting

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Speaker 1: on a plane, he told me he needed to go

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Speaker 1: by himself, and I was absolutely devastated, broke my heart

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Speaker 1: like my ex husband never could have done. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, I have a decision to make, and

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Speaker 1: that's either stay at home and be heart broken or

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Speaker 1: go travel Europe for a month by myself. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, good, I'm gonna go. So to answer

387
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Speaker 1: your question, I knew the second that happened and I

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Speaker 1: decided I was going to go by myself, that I

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Speaker 1: was going to write about it because it felt like

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Speaker 1: I was going to move. I mean, my friends would

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Speaker 1: call me and be like, what's going on this week?

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Speaker 1: In the Netflix episode It's Gabrielle's life, like it was ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: one thing after another, and I knew that whatever I

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Speaker 1: was going to learn at the end of this experience

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Speaker 1: was going to be really powerful in a healing way,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to be able to share that with

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Speaker 1: the women and men of the world. That actually had

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Speaker 1: a lot of men reach out to me after reading it,

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Speaker 1: which has been really cool.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome. Yeah, what with your first marriage. You know

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Speaker 3: a lot of people have talked to as Jane and

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Speaker 3: I like why do we stay?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

404
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Speaker 3: Why were we willing to work on it? In your situation,

405
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Speaker 3: how did you know? Like why'd you know I'm gone? Period? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Which is so interesting because I've listened to this podcast

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Speaker 1: with you guys talk and it's I was so excited

408
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 1: to kind of like compare everything because my situation was

409
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:48,919
Speaker 1: drastically different we my ex and I I was not

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Speaker 1: in love with him. I didn't realize that until I

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Speaker 1: met the guy after that and was like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is what it lopposed to feel like. And I think

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Speaker 1: I married him because he was safe. I come from

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Speaker 1: a long line of like abandonment wounds. I lost my

415
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: father when I was a little girl, and then I

416
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 1: lost my boyfriend when I was in high school. And

417
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Speaker 1: I think I married him because he was safe to me.

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Speaker 1: So when I found out about the affair that had

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Speaker 1: been going on for six months and there you know,

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Speaker 1: I write about the main one, I'm pretty confident that

421
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 1: there was other things going on. There's one, there's usually, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but the depth of it, like I mean, second phone, hotel,

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00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: rooms under a different name. Like the extent of it

424
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 1: was so intense. I was just like, God, you must

425
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: be exhausted, dude, Like you should have just been like, Yo,

426
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Speaker 1: this isn't working, Like let's get a divorce. I would

427
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 1: have been like, Okay, cool, let's try and be friends.

428
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Speaker 1: But the way he went about it was so dirty

429
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 1: and deceitful. But to be brutally honest in that answer,

430
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Speaker 1: it was a way out for me because I didn't

431
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Speaker 1: know why I had been miserable for the last like

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Speaker 1: six seven eight months until I found that out. But

433
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Speaker 1: it was a way that I was like, oh, okay,

434
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Speaker 1: I'm done, and it was just the disrespect level and

435
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 1: the trust I wasn't I knew that there was no

436
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 1: way to rebuild that for me and him personally, and

437
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I think, if you want to

438
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: and you love the person, that's obviously a vastly different situation.

439
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: That was not the case for me, and I really

440
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 1: counted as like a huge blessing. I'm like weirdly thankful

441
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 1: to him because I can't imagine still being in that situation.

442
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like a lot of people do that.

443
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 7: I feel like so many people get married because they're like, Okay,

444
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 7: he's safe or she's safe for like, we've been together

445
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 7: so long, why not let's just get me, you know.

446
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: And it's like what And it's like, I'm twenty six

447
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 1: and then we'll be married for a couple of years

448
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 1: and then I'll have babies and then and now I'm like,

449
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm only thirty, Like what.

450
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 3: What do you think if that, if he never had

451
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 3: affairs or anything like that, do you think you would

452
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: have ever reached a point where you're like, I can't

453
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 3: do this.

454
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,440
Speaker 1: I think I would have stayed a very long time

455
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 1: trying to make it work, because I I even leaving

456
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 1: with the cheating, I was feeling guilty because my mom

457
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 1: had just given me this dream wedding. We had just

458
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: gone on this amazing honeymoon. All of our friends and

459
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: family came and like we're so supportive, and it was

460
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: this big spectacle, and all of a sudden, it's just

461
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 1: over that quickly. So I yeah, I think I would

462
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: have stayed a lot longer trying to make it work

463
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: and been really unhappy doing so, until it ultimately just

464
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 1: wasted a couple more years of my life. And then

465
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: I eventually would have would have left.

466
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 2: I feel like I have to kind of retrack something

467
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 2: that I said, because it's always kind of bothered me

468
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 2: because it was a headline that said I didn't take

469
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 2: the easy way out, and I think that's not a

470
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 2: fair thing to say, because sometimes it's harder to leave too,

471
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes it's the strongest thing to do is leave.

472
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 1: And I think it's dependent on the situation.

473
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 2: I think it is completely dependent on the situation. I agree,

474
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 2: but I thought that always is kind of it's like

475
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 2: one of the things like she didn't take the easy

476
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 2: way out, and I'm like, oh, that's so. That doesn't

477
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 2: mean that everybody that leaves is taking the easy way out. No,

478
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 2: either or not, because sometimes it's harder.

479
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, on both ends.

480
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: And I would say, like, honestly, sure, there were times

481
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 2: when I'm like, it would have been harder for me

482
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 2: to leave. They're both hard, but sometimes it is harder

483
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 2: because of the logistics of the kids, and like.

484
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 1: Starting over life, I was starting off, I was so

485
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: lucky that like we didn't known a house together, we

486
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 1: didn't have children. I mean, I can't imagine that would

487
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 1: have been a completely different decision making process if other

488
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: elements would have been included. I was really thinking.

489
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:29,880
Speaker 2: Did he want to stay and work it out?

490
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,479
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think so, but I don't really know.

491
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: I didn't really give the opportunity to like have that

492
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: discussion when he was on a business trip when I

493
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: found out everything. He came home. I like had the

494
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 1: papers handed to him when he got back to our

495
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: house and had like a fifteen minute conversation where he

496
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: continued to light in my face and was just like okay, bye,

497
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: and walked out the door, and felt like a whole

498
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: weight was lifted off me.

499
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 2: I can imagine like you were probably like you said,

500
00:22:59,440 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: you were, like.

501
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, dodged like not a bullet, like an army of snipers,

502
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 1: like completely.

503
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 2: So then, how how soon was it that you met

504
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 2: your next.

505
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 1: Okay, so the next dude we'll call him. Character name

506
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: is Javier.

507
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 2: Oh and by the way, I know Javier, so that's

508
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,959
Speaker 2: another connection. You know him because we're friends, you've met him.

509
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 2: But I've talked about Hoavier before.

510
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: And this is the only podcast that I've ever done

511
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: where someone knows one of the main characters in.

512
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: Because your mom, her mom was talking about her life

513
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 2: and I go oh my god, I go, is it Javier?

514
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 2: And she goes, oh my god, how do you know?

515
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,439
Speaker 2: And I said, oh my god, I remember him saying

516
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 2: he was going to take a girl to Italy and

517
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 2: he decided this person. Yeah, I've known him for twelve

518
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,640
Speaker 2: plus plus years old.

519
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 7: Yah.

520
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 1: So when her and I connected and yeah, messaged each

521
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: other on Instagram, I was like, I'm kind of not

522
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 1: believing this whole situation. She's like, I know, oh, I know.

523
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: So I was just like, yeah. So I was just like,

524
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 2: I remember him vividly saying for you, she was going

525
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: through some stuff and you know, he's like and then

526
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 2: he said that, you know, he just needed to not

527
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: go with her. And then I'm like and then I'm

528
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 2: talking to your mom and I'm like, oh my god,

529
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: Like this is just like crazy because I remember this conversation.

530
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: So his backstory is about a year and a half

531
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: before we got together, he lost his brother and it

532
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: really really affected him, as you know it would, and

533
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: I think he stuffed down a lot of that grief.

534
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: And suicide too, which is like a nut whole.

535
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think he kind of buried it, and

536
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, when started working a lot, and you know,

537
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: just kind of tried to run. Felt like he dealt

538
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: with it but didn't. And when we fell in love,

539
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: I think that opened up a floodgate of just lots

540
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: and lots of emotions.

541
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 2: Well, and he's never loved someone the way that he

542
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 2: loved you ever, too, Like that was like, oh, yeah,

543
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I think that probably scared the crap out of him.

544
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: I think that's exactly what happened. Yeah, I just got

545
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: caught in the crossfire of it. But I have a

546
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: lot of compassion and we're still friends and I care

547
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: a lot about him. But it was a really difficult situation.

548
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: I mean, he coming off of the divorce. It was

549
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 1: like I was fine. I know that sounds weird, but

550
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: I was like, this is where I'm supposed to be.

551
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: I'm really happy that this happened the way that it did,

552
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: Like I am gonna go live this amazing life now.

553
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: And it was the second situation with Javier that really

554
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: like broke my heart. I know, it's so funny like

555
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: having so, yeah, we didn't actually meet for the first

556
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: time after I left the house. We reconnected two weeks,

557
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: but granted this was like a month now that I

558
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: had known about, you know, my ex and that I

559
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 1: was going to get a divorce, but we he popped

560
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 1: up on my Instagram page, I followed him. He messaged me.

561
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: He was like where have you been for the last

562
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: six years? I was like, whole funny story, And we

563
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: ended up going to like get lunch and go to

564
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: the beach. And but before, like six years earlier, before

565
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 1: I had met my ex husband, we had casually gone

566
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: out like twice, like went dancing, made out. That was

567
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: the extent of it. He was like the one person

568
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: I had ever been like casual with and then was

569
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 1: like okaybye and like lost touch, went got married, got divorced,

570
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: And so we went out this first night and it

571
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: was just like an instant thing to the point where

572
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: he was like what are you doing on this date?

573
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to take you to a wedding and like

574
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,640
Speaker 1: you need to meet my mother and I was like okay,

575
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: but like we were it was both of us and

576
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 1: like his friend's family, like it was like this is

577
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: the girl I'm gonna be with, and everyone was like

578
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: how is this possible? His mom and I clicked like instantly,

579
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: and it was just a month and a half of

580
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: really intense connection before the trip fell apart, and keep

581
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 1: in mind the whole book, So me finding out about

582
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: the cheating, the divorce, me meeting Javier, us breaking up

583
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: essentially and going to Europe for a month. That all

584
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: happened in like a three and a half month period.

585
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 7: Wow.

586
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it was very like really intense and in

587
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: your face there was no breath or break between any

588
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 1: of these situations.

589
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 2: So kind of has that been kind of something that

590
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 2: you've done your whole life, had like very fast moments

591
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 2: of attraction and love and.

592
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: Not to that extent. I'm a serial monogamous, Like I'm

593
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: not alone a lot. I do go from like one

594
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: relationship to another, never as quick as it happened then,

595
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 1: and it was never as instant and as intense as

596
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: it was.

597
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 7: Well that's probably why it was so because you're like, yeah, yeah,

598
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 7: this is something I've never yelt and done before.

599
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it wasn't. And that the feelings that I

600
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 1: had with him made me realize that, like, oh I

601
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 1: was never really in love with my ex husband at all. Wow.

602
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: So it I mean, it taught me a ton about

603
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: myself even before I left on that crazy trip.

604
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 3: So after Javier, what was it after that? Like, how

605
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 3: did you get yourself back together? Like what did you?

606
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 3: Did you fund another relationship? Did you work on yourself?

607
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 3: Like what helped you so well?

608
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 2: You left for Italy?

609
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 4: Yeah?

610
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 5: Was it?

611
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: Did you go to Italy?

612
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: Well? So our original plan was to do all of Italy.

613
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: Our tickets were booked to Rome. So his dad and

614
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: him picked me up from the airport, I mean from sorry,

615
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: from my house. We flew to London together. You didn't, Yeah,

616
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: that was sitting next to each other hanging out. But

617
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 1: you know what, like honestly, everything was weirdly normal, like

618
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: we've always you weren't nice yet at him, No, that's

619
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: the weird thing we had. We were so connected on

620
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,239
Speaker 1: this like weird soul level that like the only thing

621
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: that changed was that we weren't kissing and holding hands.

622
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: I mean he took the picture of me at the

623
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: airport with my backpack on, where I was like peace out,

624
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: guys and divorced, like this is what's going on in

625
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,719
Speaker 1: my life. By we hung out at the airport for

626
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: like three hours, gone on a plane, flew to London together.

627
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: He then went on to Rome and I started my

628
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: trip in London and like had nothing planned because I

629
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 1: found out I was going by myself two days.

630
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 2: Before theres an ounce of you wish that he would

631
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: like changed his mind.

632
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: Well, we thought we had like discussed when we got

633
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: on the plane. We were like, well, you know, our

634
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: flights are booked home together, maybe we'll meet up, depending

635
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: on like how you're feeling and like if my heart

636
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: is not in a million pieces still. So the whole book,

637
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: when I'm on the trip, it's this whole like am

638
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: I going to go sem? Am I not going to go?

639
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: Seem And it's this whole rollercoaster ride of like can't

640
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: close the chapter literally and figuratively. So yeah, it was.

641
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: It was a lot to kind of navigate, but that trip,

642
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: and I wrote the book on the trip, so I

643
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: brought a journal with me. I started at the first

644
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: day in London, and when you open the journal, it

645
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: literally looks almost exactly like how the published book is.

646
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: It's like chapter one. I wasn't like journaling and then

647
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: made it into a book. I knew that that's just

648
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: what it was going to be, so writing about all

649
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: of it on this journey that I was on being alone,

650
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: which was one of my biggest fears my entire life,

651
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 1: since my dad died was like being okay by myself

652
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: and this was the universe way of being like, Okay,

653
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: well we're going to go face that head on. Yeah,

654
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: so it was really like therapy for me. But No,

655
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: to answer your question, I didn't like jump back into

656
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 1: another relationship. I was like trying to figure out if

657
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: things were going to change with him or not, and

658
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: knowing in my heart that I kind of like needed

659
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: to be by myself and your just knew myself.

660
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 3: How old were you during this time?

661
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: I was twenty eight.

662
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 3: So that's impressive because the whole situation, the way you

663
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 3: kind of handled it and him seems very adult. It

664
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 3: really does, Yeah, because I just feel like even in

665
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 3: my twenties and even late twenties, it was just dramatic

666
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: and you know, big gestures and everything. Yeah, and drama.

667
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,719
Speaker 3: Just the fact that, right and the fact that you

668
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 3: were able to accept he didn't say because he wanted

669
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 3: to go with another woman. You know, you knew the

670
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 3: reasons why, and you guys are still be able to

671
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 3: be adult about it and you handle the way you

672
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 3: did and even him. I just I think that's impressive

673
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 3: for your age.

674
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: I'd be like, come with me, And that's like normally, I,

675
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: even my younger self, was very manipulative with men, not

676
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: in like a scary way, like you know, if I

677
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: wanted to get something like I'd be able to figure

678
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,239
Speaker 1: it out. And there wasn't ever a thought of like, well,

679
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: maybe there's a way I can change his mind. I

680
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: was like, no, this is like my journey that I'm

681
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 1: supposed to be on. So if it wasn't for him

682
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: making that decision, like I wouldn't have had this like

683
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: life changing month long trip. I never in a million

684
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: years would have been like let me go to Europe

685
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: by myself. It was such an out of my comfort

686
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: zone experience, like with a backpack, like not even luggage.

687
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: It was very completely new for me, and I learned

688
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: more about myself on that trip than I had.

689
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was the one thing that you were shocked

690
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 2: to learn about yourself?

691
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: Then I'm never really alone and I'm always okay because

692
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: no matter who in my life may abandon me, I'll

693
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: never abandon myself. And that was huge to like start

694
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: those abandonment wounds to heal.

695
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 7: It's like crazy because a lot of people have to

696
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 7: do a lot of therapy and a lot of rehabit

697
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 7: to like get where you are. And I feel like

698
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 7: that's like amazing that you could just go on a

699
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 7: trip and really find that in yourself.

700
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I mean, and don't get me wrong, like

701
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: I've been in and out of therapy my whole life.

702
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm like an advocate of it. I think everybody should go,

703
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: even if nothing's wrong, like go talk about some stuff.

704
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, it really I knew that I was going

705
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: to like do some serious work on myself, and and

706
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: through writing the book, it really like brought so much

707
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: out that I was surprised about that I could then

708
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: look at and go back and heal on my own,

709
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: which was huge for me.

710
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: Wow. So the relationship, now, what's different because you guys

711
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: with vier no no, no, with your man.

712
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: Now, oh oh right right, I know I was gonna

713
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: the very handsome man that you. So we have had

714
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 1: an interesting courtships. Yeah, because we I'm showing the picture. Okay,

715
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: we actually met ten years ago. He played my older

716
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: brother in a film Love and but have always been

717
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: kind of just like friends on social media and whatever

718
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: and kind of like Javier, Yeah, you know, interesting, that's

719
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: how they that's how they come back and he saw

720
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 1: the picture I posted the day I left for Europe

721
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: of me with my backpack like explaining this whole cheating

722
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: and divorce situation and like kind of airing all my

723
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: stuff out, and he messaged me and was like, oh

724
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: my god, I'm so sorry, like I'm I can't believe

725
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: what I'm reading, blah blah blah, like when you get back,

726
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: please let me know, like I'd love to take you

727
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: to lunch. Not at all, you know, like that. He

728
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: we had always like this very brother sister feel to us,

729
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: and we ended up like running into each other, not

730
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: even I know he's a good looking dude, not even

731
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: like planning it, running into each other when we when

732
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: I came home and I was like, yo, I'm not

733
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: ready for a relationship, like don't even like a big

734
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: wall like and he was like he was like, okay,

735
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: that's cool, I'll wait. And ended out he was the

736
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: first person to read the book, like before my mom,

737
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 1: and so I remember, you know, two months in of

738
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: us kind of like hanging out but like not really yeah,

739
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: and he was like, I've never had a roadmap of

740
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: the girl I'm trying to court, and I'm literally reading

741
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: all of this stuff about and he was just like,

742
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: first of all, I want to murder the two men,

743
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: and he's just he's a really great guy and sees

744
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: me for me. I've never been able to be more

745
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: myself with someone and and he's okay with like me

746
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: taking it day by day, like not having to have

747
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 1: like a end game goal and just kind of like

748
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: being together and being in the moment. But he's definitely

749
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: like one of my sole people. And I feel that

750
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 1: way about Javier too. I think I don't really believe

751
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: in soul mates as in like lovers and my husband,

752
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: but but I believe in like soul people that come

753
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: into your lives to, you know, drastically either teach you

754
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: something or change or like be a catalyst for something

755
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to learn. And both of them, Javier

756
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: and my current guy, I love that.

757
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 8: No, you're mate, yea one and only, but both of them,

758
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 8: Javier and my my current guy, I met years before.

759
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 1: So Javier and I had met six years before, and

760
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: my current relationship and I had met ten years before.

761
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: So and I that's a testament to me to like

762
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: soul people. It's like they come in and it's like no,

763
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 1: this isn't the right time, and they come back so

764
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 1: much later and it's really you know, to to affect you.

765
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 1: And I feel like there's you know, not to get

766
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: into the whole past lives thing, but I truly feel

767
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 1: with certain people that I meet that like I've been

768
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 1: with them in other places. Are your mothers are so

769
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: like ridiculously she read She actually when she read the book,

770
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: she called me and was like in tears and she

771
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: was like I was talking to a bunch of my

772
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:11,280
Speaker 1: clients about like self love and how to explain it clearly,

773
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: and she's like, it's such a hard concept to really explain.

774
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: And then I finished the couple of last pages of

775
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,760
Speaker 1: your book and it was right there in my daughter's

776
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: work and I was like, oh, I'm like, see I

777
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: actually learned something from you. It's a very like proud

778
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: moment for her.

779
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 2: So it was cool, so sweet.

780
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 4: Wow.

781
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: So they made it Eat Prey Love into movies. I

782
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 2: don't say why they can't make Eat Prey Hashi Fmo

783
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 2: into movies. You know, it would be really funny, but

784
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 2: also like again like healing and yeah, and it's.

785
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: It's written kind of like a Netflix series. We're kind

786
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: of like it's been in discussion that we're thinking of

787
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: like a ten episode type thing because it's written as

788
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: a as a show kind of like you feel like

789
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 1: you're reading something you should be watching. That's just kind

790
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: of how I write. So yeah, and.

791
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 2: That's what you're doing, your writer. You're an actress. Yeah,

792
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: you're kind of like doing everything. We're in all the hats.

793
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 2: What what like? What do you want if you can

794
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 2: do just like the one thing you just want to

795
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: act in your own thing that you write or.

796
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 1: No, I really I've directed two projects now and I

797
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,439
Speaker 1: really love that it. I love having some control over

798
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: what the finishing product is going to end up to

799
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 1: because you know, as an actress, you're like, great, I'm

800
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: going to show up and do my work, but like

801
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: God only knows what this is going to look.

802
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 2: Like or why did they use that scene? Oh because

803
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: they needed like this thing to look like the acting

804
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: isn't there?

805
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 1: Yeah whatever. Yeah, So directing it's really nice because you

806
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: can like have some control over the product you're making.

807
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: So I would love if this went to series to

808
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: not play myself in it. I would love to direct it.

809
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 2: Hello, Yeah, Mike can be my Javier and stop.

810
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 3: Oh God, don't make me the first guy.

811
00:37:54,760 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, okay.

812
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: Such a long way.

813
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, No, I don't want to like

814
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 2: go like somber because it's this has like been awesome.

815
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:10,839
Speaker 2: But with your dad, I mean, how have you been

816
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 2: able to?

817
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 7: You know?

818
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 2: I think because girls it's hard. I've I had daddy

819
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 2: issues for a long time. He didn't die, but I

820
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 2: felt like he kind of abandoned me, But with yours,

821
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: it's like he'd passed. So it's how did you because

822
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 2: you never you're not able to talk to him or

823
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 2: you can.

824
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, but not in the Yeah, there's no way

825
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: to like get closure necessarily from him directly.

826
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 2: Or to have like some like that father figure there.

827
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 2: So do you feel like you were always trying to

828
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 2: like search for that?

829
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 1: I mean that's why I've always had men in my life,

830
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: because I was trying to fill that hole that was

831
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: left when he died. And it was even not even

832
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: just in relationships, like I never wanted to be alone,

833
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: Like even if it was like a roommate or my

834
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: mom or my friends, it was me not being okay

835
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 1: with myself. And it wasn't until I realized that I

836
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: needed to go fix that for I could be in

837
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: a space with someone else in a relationship. So I think,

838
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: you know, there's no like said answer as far as

839
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: grief goes. It happened when I was seven. My dad

840
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: remember it, I do. I remember it vividly. I write

841
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: about it in the beginning of the book how I

842
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 1: was the one that found him. My mom was like

843
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 1: off shooting in New Zealand and had to fly home.

844
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: It was like really traumatic for a child. So I

845
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: do remember it, but I'm kind of thankful in the

846
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: way that it didn't happen when I was old enough

847
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: to have like serious emotions around it. Like if that

848
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: would have happened when I was a teenager, like my

849
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 1: mom lost her father when she was sixteen, I don't know,

850
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: like that would have been harder for me to handle.

851
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,800
Speaker 1: I think so while it did implement certain abandonment issues

852
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: in my life, it it wasn't the hardest emotional thing

853
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: to get to get over. I mean, obviously it's it's

854
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: sad and I feel it and I cry, and I

855
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: had years time really does heal a lot, But yeah,

856
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: I think it's it's about finding what those wounds trigger

857
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: in yourself, Like as an adult and being able to

858
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 1: kind of like peel the layers back and see what's

859
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 1: at the root of it and then start working on

860
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: that part.

861
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: So where can our listeners Instagram all of it, eat prey,

862
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 2: hashtag FML.

863
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

864
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 2: I Amazon primed it, so yeah. So it's on Prime.

865
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: It's exclusively on Amazon. It's in paperback and ebook. I

866
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm allowed to say this yet, but

867
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: oh well, I just signed an audio book deal for it.

868
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 2: I love that.

869
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 7: So is it you reading it? Like, oh, that's so

870
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 7: cool when people do, that's so cool. And you can

871
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 7: download audible.

872
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: To hear that degree. Yeah that that won't be out

873
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: till like later later this year. But yeah, it's on

874
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: Amazon for paperback and ebook. And I'm at Gabrielle Stone

875
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: the books at eat pre FML and whenever people read

876
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: and send me messages and stuff, I love to repost it.

877
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: I love hearing all the feedback from people. It's been

878
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 1: really really rewarding to hear how it's starting to resonate with.

879
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 7: Oh, I'm I feel like that's everything that you're writing

880
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 7: about is so relatable. Like that's what's crazy is that,

881
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 7: whether people know it or not, it's like like you

882
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 7: said a life.

883
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 2: We all have to find ourselves. Yeah, anyday, whether you've

884
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 2: been in a bad relationship or whatever you're going through,

885
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,720
Speaker 2: it's all about finding yourself, yeah, in the journey.

886
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: So and it's it's not just like a self help

887
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: book either. It's like fun and you'll laugh and maybe

888
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 1: cry and get.

889
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 2: A lot of favorite place in Italy you went, last question?

890
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 1: Oh god, Well I went everywhere. I didn't just do Italy,

891
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: which was the one silver lining of not going with

892
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: Pavier was I got to see a lot more. My

893
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: favorite place that was probably Barcelona. Yeah, I met some

894
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 1: incredible people there, but it like my heart, like really

895
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: felt at home there. And I loved Amsterdam too. I

896
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: think it gets a bad rap because everyone's like, oh,

897
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: you can go joint and it's the canals and why

898
00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 1: go across the world. No, it's beautiful, architects, amazing, amazing

899
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: and the people that are so so sweet.

900
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: So yeah, well thanks for coming on the show. We're

901
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 2: doing dinner tonight right, Yes, wait, Okay, isn't she so sweet?

902
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 3: She's a chip off the old block. Even from the

903
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 3: small small interactions I had with her mom d on

904
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 3: the movie set, She's definitely chip off the old block.

905
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 3: But she was fantastic.

906
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 2: I knew she was a scorpion. I knew it.

907
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 1: I just knew.

908
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 7: I could just tell by like the way she was

909
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 7: talking about like her relationships and her and her I

910
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 7: just knew.

911
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: I just knew.

912
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 3: You know.

913
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 2: I love to have just quizzed you on that, since

914
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: you think you're the Google I love.

915
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 3: On the topic of I'm all about I've been very

916
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 3: interested in like trips to find yourself same.

917
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 2: Z's and I don't I'm jealous of why are you less?

918
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 5: Wait?

919
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 2: But like by yourself or together by yourself? I know,

920
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 2: don't you feel like sometimes kind of just miss the boat.

921
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 3: Because I might go to Kilimanjaro, do killman Jaro next

922
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 3: summer alone?

923
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 7: What? Not?

924
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 3: By myself?

925
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 2: Hello? Oh, I'm sorry? Is this the first world? Okay,

926
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 2: you've never said anything to me about this is literally.

927
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 3: Just the other day. You haven't talked about it yet.

928
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 3: But the topic about the trip I said, I'm thinking

929
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: about it just came up.

930
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 2: Where's Kilimanjaro? What Sarah?

931
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 1: Do you know?

932
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 7: Wait?

933
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 1: Time out?

934
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 2: Sarah is made in Africa.

935
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 4: I think it's Yeah, I've confirmed it's in Africa.

936
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a friend who did well.

937
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 3: But either way you can have to get some shots.

938
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, and you have to do like training. Wait,

939
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 2: what is Kilimanjaro? Isn't it like as a mountain? A mountain?

940
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 2: It's not like Everest, but it's like that, like I had. Okay,

941
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: it starts with kill kill Himanjaya kill Vianjaro.

942
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: No, I have a girlfriend.

943
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure who did it. And they had to

944
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: do like training, like hiking, breathing.

945
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 3: All that you be in shape.

946
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 7: No, no, but I swear I think she had to

947
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 7: do like special whatever, wap time out?

948
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:57,439
Speaker 2: When?

949
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 5: Where? What?

950
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: How?

951
00:43:59,239 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 5: What?

952
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 1: Bucket list?

953
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 3: Like bringing it up on here? Defense? Do you witnesses

954
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 3: of what?

955
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm just curious, like who's the conversation with Jason? Jason?

956
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 3: Who Jason? My best friend? Jason?

957
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: Oh that Jason. I don't know if his.

958
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 3: Brother, his bud, his other buddy Callum from what.

959
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 4: You fly to Tanzania and climb on kill was the

960
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 4: tallest mountain in Africa?

961
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know what's the thing. It's one of

962
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 3: these things where you.

963
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: Tell me you're already gonna go. This is Mike. He's

964
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: already He already tells people he goes and then I'm like, okay,

965
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 2: show me. Let me say I would love to, like,

966
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 2: let's do it.

967
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 3: Let's yeah. I'm like, I'm all about it. I would

968
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 3: love to. Let's get some more information. So then I

969
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,399
Speaker 3: get information, then I bring it to you. I don't

970
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 3: want to be like, hey, I want to hike kill

971
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: Jar one day and you'll be like, Okay, he just

972
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 3: did that exactly today.

973
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 2: That's what I'm doing life trips, you know.

974
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 3: I saw this thing. It was uh I think it

975
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,720
Speaker 3: was the NFL Awards Honors last year and Chris Long,

976
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 3: who's with the Egos and I think he's retired now,

977
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 3: he does this. He did a mission like every year

978
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 3: to Mount Kilim Majarro with a bunch of NFL guys

979
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:21,839
Speaker 3: that would go and hike it, and just the whole

980
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 3: video like behind it and just what these guys experienced

981
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 3: like when they did it and got to the top

982
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: and took the picture. It was just something like ever since,

983
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 3: like last summer when the NFL Awards on A show

984
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 3: was on, I was like, man, that would be really cool.

985
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 3: In the fact that Jason just texted me like a

986
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 3: few days ago about it, it just kind of retriggered

987
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,439
Speaker 3: that mindset. I was like, man, that'd just be something

988
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 3: I've never done anything for myself like that. It'd just

989
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 3: be something I'd want to talk about.

990
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,280
Speaker 2: Would you do it by yourself?

991
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 3: What do you mean by myself?

992
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: Would you go by yourself? I think they have like

993
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 2: guides and stuff. No, no, no, no, I'm saying, like, is

994
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 2: it would you go on that trip solo? Are you

995
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: going to Tanzania purely by myself? Yeah? Like, because like

996
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 2: would she Gabrielle did, like she went to a you know,

997
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 2: foreign country by herself, because that a lot of people

998
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 2: say that to really soul seek solo is solo because that's.

999
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 7: Your your alone in your thoughts. You're alone in you know,

1000
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 7: in those moments, you're alone in the darkness, you're alone

1001
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 7: in all those things.

1002
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 3: Two things, first thing is traveling around by yourself is

1003
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 3: one thing. Hiking, but doing hiking and doing something like that,

1004
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 3: you need you're still with the you need a base camp,

1005
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 3: you need like you have a guide, you have people

1006
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 3: around you, like, and you're still you're not talking the

1007
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 3: whole time you're walking up because you're sitting there. You

1008
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 3: don't want to.

1009
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 2: Exist and that I'm just like asking, like, no, I'm.

1010
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 3: Just explaining why I would not just go by myself,

1011
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 3: because it's still hiking, physical activity that could be dangerous

1012
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,320
Speaker 3: that I would want people I trust around me, you

1013
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 3: know what I mean. I don't want to be like, hey,

1014
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 3: me and this tour guide who I don't know, maybe

1015
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 3: barely speaks English, but if something happens to.

1016
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: Me for sure, Yeah, I just because when you say

1017
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: like going on and a soul search thing to me,

1018
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: like from like, I think people have those aha moments

1019
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 2: and those things like when they're doing things by themselves.

1020
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 3: For sure, but I think it's also for me. It's

1021
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 3: not even necessarily soul searching because I know who I

1022
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 3: am nowadays, but it's more of a soul It's more

1023
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: of a soul cleansing. It's like just something just to

1024
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 3: like bring you back to neutral, to appreciate the things

1025
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 3: around you, reset your system, to get out of all

1026
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 3: the la and travel and everything that we do. And

1027
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 3: it's just it is because it's still just me and

1028
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 3: my thoughts hiking up this mountain accomplishing something for sure

1029
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: sounds hard.

1030
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:38,919
Speaker 1: See.

1031
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 2: I would always love to do a trip. I just

1032
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 2: don't think I couldn't be alone. I couldn't do it,

1033
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 2: I know, but I think I would thrive. I think

1034
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 2: i'd I've had a version of myself if I went solo.

1035
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 2: I agree, I couldn't. I could. I would come back

1036
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 2: and being like I am the independent, I'm the I

1037
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 2: freaking did it. Because you're feel so proud of your

1038
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 2: I would feel say so proud of myself. I agree,

1039
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: I could like cry, No, my girlfriend just did it.

1040
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 7: She went to South America, traveled for like a year

1041
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,919
Speaker 7: by herself, came home thriving. Now this bitch is moving

1042
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 7: a BALI like she's killing the game, and I'm like, wow,

1043
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 7: three years No, three years ago she was in a

1044
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,879
Speaker 7: five year relationship like she was in it and it's

1045
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 7: just like but it's it's also just like where do

1046
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 7: you you know? It's different lanes and I just I couldn't.

1047
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 7: I think it's cool, but I couldn't. I'd rather go

1048
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 7: to like a ranch or a spa and find myself there.

1049
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 7: But sometime she's like, come visit me. I'm like, let

1050
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 7: me know when you hit the ritz Carlton, and I'll

1051
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 7: hit you there. I think I would have a better

1052
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 7: chance of like if I went somewhere in the States

1053
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 7: for three months. I could probably do that. Like I

1054
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 7: could go live in like somewhere random, but leaving the country.

1055
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: That's where I would differ to me that would do nothing.

1056
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 3: Then I would be lonely and bored. If you go

1057
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 3: to somewhere experienced, like a new country that has things

1058
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,439
Speaker 3: that are centuries older than our our continent, our country does,

1059
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 3: It's like that's something that would get my my juice

1060
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 3: is flowing and like this is something that I experienced.

1061
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 3: If I go to Des Moines, Iowa for three months,

1062
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: but no, no, no searching right.

1063
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 7: Now, I would go to like I could go to

1064
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 7: like Montana or like Wyoming or Colorado, Like I could

1065
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 7: go do something like that for three months and just

1066
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 7: be like, you know, no, so but I could really

1067
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 7: months or a month or.

1068
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 2: Two what like five days?

1069
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 7: Oh no, Like I'm saying I could go for like

1070
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 7: a month or two Oh really, but I couldn't leave

1071
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 7: the country.

1072
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 2: I can wait on that. I'm like, I wouldn't go

1073
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 2: like I would.

1074
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 3: It would have to be far.

1075
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: But at the same time that I think about the kids,

1076
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I could never leave my kids.

1077
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 7: No. I feel like when you do that, you have

1078
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 7: to be like her, like no husband, no kids, like

1079
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 7: out here doing it.

1080
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 3: To do all that. Yeah, I mean that to point you.

1081
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 3: Like my friend that that texted me about going. He

1082
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 3: lives in We grew up and we went to high

1083
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 3: school together as my best friend growing up. He moved

1084
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 3: to London or to England for medical school. Hasn't come

1085
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 3: back after college. He fell in love with it over

1086
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 3: It has an accent everything now because he's been there forever, which.

1087
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 2: By the way, always like you're American, but I can see.

1088
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 3: I can save a British But I can see how

1089
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 3: if you spend like a decade over there, you're gonna

1090
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:05,399
Speaker 3: start naturally kind of talking that way.

1091
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 2: But you talk like this because we're like moving to Nashville.

1092
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 3: We live here, but things like that, I'll start coming out.

1093
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 3: Look at Schwarzenegger.

1094
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 4: He's been in thirty years and he still sounds like

1095
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 4: he just got here from Austria.

1096
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 3: Different, I guess, but he goes when he just has

1097
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 3: a few days, he'll go to down the country like

1098
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,399
Speaker 3: that by himself. He'll have nothing planning. And so that

1099
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 3: part of me too feels comfortable going with someone who

1100
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 3: travels all of the time, who does this by themselves.

1101
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 2: You know how I feel about him though, Oh oh,

1102
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 2: he's mean to you. I don't like how he jokes.

1103
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 2: I get you, he's he's very mean to him and

1104
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 2: it makes me it really it bothers me because her

1105
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: I get for my man but puts him down. Twenty

1106
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,959
Speaker 2: fourth every time I've been around him, like he puts

1107
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 2: him down, I'm like, how are you gonna go find

1108
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 2: your Like, here's the thing. If you said somebody else,

1109
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 2: I'd be like, go. But my hesitation with it is

1110
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 2: I don't want you to go to have this thing

1111
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 2: and he's gonna put you down the entire time you're

1112
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 2: walking up a mountain, because I don't want to pun

1113
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: him off the mountain.

1114
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: Oh wait, if.

1115
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 2: He says something to you like he's just like he's like,

1116
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 2: oh like he's just mean, and it's like that's their

1117
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 2: way of joking. But I'm like, that's not nice, like

1118
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 2: maybe unhappy. Well, I think there's other things going there

1119
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 2: that I'll say off the record, but yeah, that's mine.

1120
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 2: You think he's mean to you, No, it's our relationship.

1121
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 3: We've always just ragged on each other. It's one of

1122
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 3: those things we'll go with. We could go without talking

1123
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 3: for a year, and the first thing we did is

1124
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 3: bust each other's balls. And it's one of those things

1125
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 3: because because we don't talk, because we live in separate countries,

1126
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 3: we don't talk as much because we have opposite hours.

1127
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 3: But when we do get past and we do talk

1128
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 3: for a while, we get past all that initial like

1129
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 3: jab jabbing back and forth.

1130
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 1: It mean to you.

1131
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 2: He's never once asked me a question, not once. That's

1132
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 2: another reason.

1133
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 3: And how many times have.

1134
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,439
Speaker 2: Have I asked any questions? When it came to our house, I.

1135
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 3: Was asking question, have we seen this man?

1136
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter, but he's been he's been in my

1137
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 2: house and he's never asked me. He's not once asked

1138
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,439
Speaker 2: me a question. I'm sorry he was in your house

1139
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 2: and he didn't. His brother talked to me more than

1140
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 2: he talked to me, So again I have he's mean

1141
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,800
Speaker 2: to you, and he doesn't ask any questions, and he

1142
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:08,840
Speaker 2: doesn't care to get to know me.

1143
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 7: So yeah, maybe he's scared of you. No, I think

1144
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:12,720
Speaker 7: he loves Michael.

1145
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 2: I'm just saying.

1146
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 7: I think Mark, just I'm not going anywhere near that.

1147
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 2: I think Mark.

1148
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 3: Pause.

1149
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 4: The pause was so beautiful, the silence I've never enjoyed

1150
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 4: silence more on a podcast than right there.

1151
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 5: If we're gonna find out in Tanzania, he's gonna go

1152
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 5: find himself and say, you know, because like Ban, I

1153
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 5: wouldn't even be upset if you Mike came back gay

1154
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 5: with him.

1155
00:52:54,640 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 7: I I am not saying a word. The the the

1156
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 7: the interweb is going to have a field day with this.

1157
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm crying. Look, Mike, Mike, I need.

1158
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 3: Honestly, honestly, here's the thing. We thought, No, there's you're

1159
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 3: lying even even there's no thought. Even me and his

1160
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 3: brother had conversations on whether his older brother who him

1161
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 3: and I are really tight too, about whether or not

1162
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:35,840
Speaker 3: he may be like men, which is obviously fine either.

1163
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 7: Way, but it makes sense why he doesn't like me.

1164
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 7: I'm just saying, like the swallow, it's so quiet.

1165
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 3: We just heard my My thing is after even talking

1166
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 3: to some people about it, even like my therapist about it,

1167
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 3: and talking to my friend himself more, not bringing up

1168
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 3: is like to me, what I've kind of open my

1169
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 3: eyes to is it's about his priorities in life. My

1170
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 3: priorities in life have been to have a family, have

1171
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 3: a wife, have kids. He's that person. He with his

1172
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 3: free time, he wants to experience the world.

1173
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 2: How do we get out a lot of.

1174
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 3: That is what is important to him. So because I

1175
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 3: don't think he actually is, that's my point is just

1176
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 3: because he doesn't have a relationship or doesn't, I don't

1177
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 3: think that that all I'm saying is that's why I

1178
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 3: don't think he is.

1179
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:29,359
Speaker 7: I was going to say sometimes like maybe when it's

1180
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 7: a friend from the beginning, like he just ride or

1181
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 7: dies so hard for Mike that he's probably just like

1182
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 7: if this beat, you know what I mean, Like not

1183
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 7: in that way, but.

1184
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 3: But to that point too. When we were in London

1185
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,280
Speaker 3: when you're playing the O two Arena, Sick and I went.

1186
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 2: And it was a side stage.

1187
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: It wasn't that big either way.

1188
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 3: She still play. That's a big deal. Me and my buddy,

1189
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 3: you know, he lives in England. So we went out

1190
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:55,760
Speaker 3: and uh walked around and stuff like that. And because

1191
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 3: he is he has been my boy since like thirty one.

1192
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 3: He had a little bit about that. But that was

1193
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 3: when we were Jane and I were like.

1194
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 7: I feel like, you know, he's obviously taking your side

1195
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 7: and he's obviously and.

1196
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 2: He was just like, what did I do to not

1197
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 2: have him like me. It's not fair.

1198
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 3: It's not about that. It's not it's not it's about

1199
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 3: it's about seeing your friend irregardless of everything else going on,

1200
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 3: seeing your friend and pain.

1201
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 2: Senior friends about when we came to our house with

1202
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 2: his hand, mom and brother.

1203
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 7: Agreed like at a certain age. Hi, but I feel like,

1204
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 7: what did I do wrong?

1205
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 2: If I messed? If I like hurt him, but I

1206
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:35,759
Speaker 2: didn't hurt him, so like maybe he thinks he did. Well,

1207
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:37,800
Speaker 2: love to know the stories, That's what I'm you know

1208
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 2: what I mean?

1209
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 7: Like you never told him no, not no, not you,

1210
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 7: but do you know like sometimes our friends like regardless

1211
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 7: of what, like your friend's gonna, you know, have your back.

1212
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 7: I think it's if I were the one that did

1213
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 7: the wrong doing, then yeah, I could totally see that,

1214
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,399
Speaker 7: but not if I didn't do the wrong doing. And Hi,

1215
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,959
Speaker 7: you just came to my house and we have another

1216
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 7: kid in here, and like you know, like be more friendly.

1217
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,439
Speaker 7: You no say hi and ask one question? Not where

1218
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:03,240
Speaker 7: the is the bathroom?

1219
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

1220
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 4: So I know, well, well, I don't think we have

1221
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 4: time for emails.

1222
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 2: I don't know you, I don't.

1223
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 3: Know so anyways, I'll report next year from the top

1224
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: of killay.

1225
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 2: I just looked it up, because you need five nine days.

1226
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 4: Dr Romney was in Johannesburgh. You can and kill him

1227
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 4: and jar we'll skype you down.

1228
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,359
Speaker 2: Why don't you like start with like Machu pichu. Isn't

1229
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 2: that a little easier?

1230
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 3: All or nothing?

1231
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, if it's something you really want to do, well,

1232
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 2: obviously we'll we'll chat about it. Look at the calendar,

1233
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 2: you know. All right, Well this has been fun, but

1234
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,839
Speaker 2: one done later.