Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you want your way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 1: time and a terminol and gage.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need you ride?
Speaker 3: Ride with Karen and Chris. You're listening, so do you
Speaker 3: need to ride? Welcome? I know I'm trying to mix
Speaker 3: it up. That was totally on purpose.
Speaker 1: You're listening to.
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Already? So welcome. My name
Speaker 3: is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and I'm Karen Tilgarriff.
Speaker 3: We got thrown off. There was a red light run
Speaker 3: right in front of us. We started with drama. I
Speaker 3: promise that drama won't stop.
Speaker 1: We're like some sort of HBO it doesn't exist anymore
Speaker 1: HBO show where it starts with a gunshot and you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: I just got to know that person. You already killed
Speaker 1: them off? Yes, we will do that in this it's
Speaker 1: a podcast version, so it's much more looky.
Speaker 3: It's like a it's like a cold open. It reveals
Speaker 3: a lot about what you're going to see.
Speaker 1: Yes, and just make no assumptions. Nothing is safe, No
Speaker 1: one is. Anybody could run a red light. Mercury is
Speaker 1: fully in retrograde in a very intense way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because of the moon. You have no idea what's
Speaker 3: going to happen today? Yep, you think that that is
Speaker 3: a telling moment, the red light running. This is going
Speaker 3: to be This whole podcast is gonna get turned up
Speaker 3: on its head. Try and predict what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: In fact, three guesses right now, Chris, what's going to happen?
Speaker 3: We will see a grouping of diagonal fire trucks. Yes,
Speaker 3: we are going to see a child alone in a
Speaker 3: park with no adults around and a cause for concern.
Speaker 3: I know that's specific, but I'm just leaking something that
Speaker 3: I saw on the way there. I almost pulled over.
Speaker 3: And why is this car they're almost touching?
Speaker 1: They literally were almost too.
Speaker 3: I wanted to pull over. I saw a little boy
Speaker 3: in a giant park over here and there's no adults round, Like,
Speaker 3: why is there like a toddler?
Speaker 1: Was it the one that's kind of near the freeway. Yes,
Speaker 1: the parent or guardian. I bet you was sitting at
Speaker 1: the base of a tree. So it's almost like you
Speaker 1: can go anywhere around here, because I used to walk
Speaker 1: the outside of that park for exercise. And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of free range child fake fakery where that child
Speaker 1: believes that they do have the ability to.
Speaker 3: Go where if they want free range child. That's the
Speaker 3: only restaurant all of it had. I feel like that parent.
Speaker 3: There was no trees nearby, though, I really I slowed
Speaker 3: down and I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 1: That is scary?
Speaker 3: Too bad? I have somewhere to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you slowed down and then you hit
Speaker 1: that gas and said, don't get me involved. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is not my problem.
Speaker 3: There are days where I have to be selfish and
Speaker 3: this was one of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we have to a podcast instead of save
Speaker 1: a child's life, I don't.
Speaker 3: I do feel like I should have done something. And
Speaker 3: what is that's the third thing you did ask for
Speaker 3: three things that we will see today? Oh, it might
Speaker 3: be this hot off the presses.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm back on the road. And who has a
Speaker 3: gift card to say in our bucks? But from Christian
Speaker 3: Whitney and Boise. Oh my god, skip the lemonade in
Speaker 3: your coffee this time and ready.
Speaker 1: To use Whitney and Christy Is that their names?
Speaker 3: It is, yes, Christy and Whitney from Boise in any order.
Speaker 1: That's so nice. Thank you so much, Christian Whitney.
Speaker 3: It's happening again.
Speaker 1: It's like the cards are coming back. Yes, sweet asked,
Speaker 1: because we were out completely right.
Speaker 3: Oh, I have others and I will continue to bring them.
Speaker 1: I mean you should be forced to report them like
Speaker 1: a government tax I will.
Speaker 3: You know what I'll do is I'll bring them. We'll
Speaker 3: just rest them in the console here.
Speaker 1: They will get stolen out because I constantly leave my
Speaker 1: car out irresponsibly. I'm totally joking.
Speaker 3: You think that there will be smash and grab well, or.
Speaker 1: Just the door is open and just a grab.
Speaker 3: Oh, just like a casual friendly. I'm gonna steal this,
Speaker 3: but not break your window grab.
Speaker 1: It used to happen at my other house all the time.
Speaker 1: In my Honda Fit. I would come out there and
Speaker 1: the middle box would be kind of rifled through, and
Speaker 1: it would be like I took your EarPods that still
Speaker 1: have a cord on them, or some shit like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, this Space Age vehicle probably has a voice that.
Speaker 1: Says, do not do this. You will regret this. The
Speaker 1: door is a jar, don't be a white supremacist, even
Speaker 1: though our company is having serious problems.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one rarely comes up.
Speaker 4: But if this car will say that, I hope.
Speaker 3: That that doesn't happen. But I do think this is
Speaker 3: a good place to keep some of the Starbucks cars.
Speaker 1: I did not have a dozen. Here's the thing. I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to ruin what is my my favorite news
Speaker 1: because we would get those. I would get them on
Speaker 1: the road when I was on the road, and you
Speaker 1: would get them when you would get them, and we
Speaker 1: would keep them because people would be giving us like
Speaker 1: twenty five or fifty dollars on a gift card like
Speaker 1: multiple beverages.
Speaker 3: Yep, so nice. It is very nice, and it's happening again.
Speaker 3: It's like memory Lane, except it's a future lane. It's
Speaker 3: a good present lane. Love Ith. Yeah, it's so.
Speaker 1: How is your show in Boise Boys was great?
Speaker 3: I was worried going there because I love Boise, Idaho.
Speaker 3: It's one of those you know, it's a it's a
Speaker 3: capital city town. So even though it's a very red state.
Speaker 3: They no longer have access to abortion. There there's men
Speaker 3: with gone open caerry like Texas style, which and I
Speaker 3: happen to arrive on their Pride weekend, okay, which when
Speaker 3: there's men with guns, even if they're you know, sportsmen,
Speaker 3: my favorite athlete, the man with the gun. Uh there,
Speaker 3: it just made me nervous.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but it's supposed to.
Speaker 3: Yes, and and you know, weed is very illegal, and
Speaker 3: not that I'm a huge weed person, but I did
Speaker 3: have a joint in my pocket that was a gift,
Speaker 3: and I thought that's very scary. Yeah, but I I
Speaker 3: went to the The pride parade was early, it was
Speaker 3: like nine in the morning, but it was so sweet.
Speaker 3: I saw like an little old guy and his overalls
Speaker 3: in his lawn chair by himself, and he had his
Speaker 3: little rainbow flag. It was enough to oh, yeah, I
Speaker 3: love it, dude. Do know that my eyelids were not arid?
Speaker 3: I yeah, like And when I got picked up the
Speaker 3: uber at the airport, my driver was a older guy,
Speaker 3: seventy year old man with fishing lures in his hat,
Speaker 3: and he was telling me about everything happening that weekend. Well,
Speaker 3: there's the football game and the Art's Fair and it's
Speaker 3: it's Pride Week and I was like, oh, have you
Speaker 3: been taking people there? He's like, yeah, you know, it's curious.
Speaker 3: Some folks have me drop them off two blocks away
Speaker 3: and I'm like, well, where's your pride in that? You know,
Speaker 3: he was an old guy. It was I love that
Speaker 3: he was bringing up that point. I guess they're scared
Speaker 3: stone at work. Assume he was a very oh. He
Speaker 3: also said because he's noticed I skateboard. He's like, no,
Speaker 3: there's a skate park under you got Rhodes Park, and
Speaker 3: then Ken telling me where the skate parks were. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And then I said, well, Rhodes is a little intimidating
Speaker 3: for me. It's like twelve foot deep pools. I'm kind
Speaker 3: of a low impact skater. And then he said, oh,
Speaker 3: you must go through a lot of trucks. First of all,
Speaker 3: I knew that the axle of a skateboard is called
Speaker 3: a truck. Yeah, my dad even would still call it
Speaker 3: an axle, I think. But he knew low impact meant
Speaker 3: I skate curbs. I'm like, how do you? I had
Speaker 3: to ask how he knew these things? And then he
Speaker 3: said why I try and peep on top of everything,
Speaker 3: I'm on TikTok a lot. No, Yeah, And then he
Speaker 3: was an old man. If I could show you a
Speaker 3: picture of him, you'd be even more impressed. And then
Speaker 3: he played some song that I didn't recognize, but I
Speaker 3: guess it's on TikTok a lot.
Speaker 2: It was like.
Speaker 3: A hip hop song, like the new kind of rap.
Speaker 3: Like he there's no I don't. I doubt he enjoys it,
Speaker 3: but he was. It's for his routine. I'm hip and
Speaker 3: I'm it's important to me to pay attention to what
Speaker 3: young people are into. Did he say skateboarding? I'm gonna
Speaker 3: know about new.
Speaker 4: Hip hop, not just my old school stuff, not just
Speaker 4: dre Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait really quick? Did he have a family? Is
Speaker 1: that part of the reason I.
Speaker 3: Wanted to ask? And I thought he would give me
Speaker 3: the information, but he let me think it was because
Speaker 3: of TikTok that he knew.
Speaker 1: I love it even more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I thought he wants to be a part of things.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was great, And I think that's the majority of people.
Speaker 1: I think, truly, Like, I think there's a lot of
Speaker 1: people that could have gotten swept up in trump Ism
Speaker 1: or what they thought it meant maybe in the beginning
Speaker 1: and that are just quietly being like, welcome to our town.
Speaker 1: It's Pride weekend, because they're like, oh right, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be that person, right, Nobody really wants to
Speaker 1: be that extreme, like evil and kind of empty. I
Speaker 1: don't think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, even if that's what they're thinking. Everyone's conscious of
Speaker 3: how they appear. But this was genuine.
Speaker 1: This guy was this guy wants to be connected with
Speaker 1: his fellow man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's beautiful. It was great. I did sit in
Speaker 3: the car at my drop off point and talked to
Speaker 3: him a little longer, nice, just because he was interesting
Speaker 3: to me. But that was just one of the many.
Speaker 3: This is one of those trips where I did nothing
Speaker 3: to prepare. I knew at a hotel with the venue
Speaker 3: the first night, but I stayed two more nights just
Speaker 3: to do a pop up show, and then the last
Speaker 3: day I was just going to skateboard with old boise pals.
Speaker 3: I did all those things and I didn't even have
Speaker 3: a hotel lined up, and I stayed in this nice
Speaker 3: man that owns the pie Hole pizzeria. He let me
Speaker 3: stay in his place, this basement apartment. Refused for me
Speaker 3: to even pay for a cleaner. People were picking me up.
Speaker 3: Do you need a ride to the airport? Do you
Speaker 3: need Hey, how's it going? Do you need lunch today?
Speaker 3: Like old friends that are from Montana that live there
Speaker 3: now nice.
Speaker 1: It was the physist like a like a welcome guest.
Speaker 3: I felt like the person that's loved.
Speaker 1: That's so sweet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's great, but yeah, you know, there's it
Speaker 3: was a good weekend ago.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 3: It's there's no zero homeless people. There's certain things that
Speaker 3: like say, sound nice on paper, but it's always unrealistic
Speaker 3: when it's like where do you where? How do you
Speaker 3: get rid of? Everything's too clean? There's no one sleeping
Speaker 3: on the.
Speaker 1: Streets right because they'll those guys with guns right with
Speaker 1: their open carryable citizen arrest What if you got citizen
Speaker 1: arrested for having a joint in your book?
Speaker 3: Did you have anyone like that growing up that was
Speaker 3: a citizen on patrol?
Speaker 1: No, that's what are you talking about exactly?
Speaker 3: And and that's how I know the character I went
Speaker 3: into Reno nine one one. I know that they ended
Speaker 3: up having Paul Rubins do it, but my idea was
Speaker 3: based on a real guy in Missoula who had like
Speaker 3: a Bronco with a police scanner and CB radio, and
Speaker 3: all through high school. If there was a fight and
Speaker 3: that's all people did on weekends in the nineties, he
Speaker 3: would show up and actually break up the fight or
Speaker 3: run after people and hold them down, wait for the
Speaker 3: police to come and they'd shake his hand or you know.
Speaker 3: He was like And then one day I think he
Speaker 3: pulled out a gun at at a JB's restaurant or something,
Speaker 3: and they revoked his citizen on patrol status. But my
Speaker 3: character was he was going in and obviously had committed
Speaker 3: the crime, but because he had it all figured out,
Speaker 3: or that's what I thought. You had to improvise with them,
Speaker 3: and I thought it went well, even though I was nervous.
Speaker 3: But then they gave it. They took that idea and
Speaker 3: gave it a pev hear. But that's okay, I'm.
Speaker 1: Not I'm sorry. Are we changing topics? What's happening now?
Speaker 1: There the citizen you're talking about an audition? Yes, Chris, Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't do that to me. I'm trying to drive.
Speaker 3: I know I'm trying to follow you. You would have
Speaker 3: it's just a windy road. I told the story perfectly.
Speaker 1: I'm just confused because of my surrounding.
Speaker 3: Yes, the citizen on patrol was was solidified in time
Speaker 3: as a character on Reno nine one one got you
Speaker 3: guy I almost played but no, but it was.
Speaker 1: But essentially it's Chris's idea everybody. But now essentially there's
Speaker 1: citizens on patrol everywhere. There's not the one weirdo. There's
Speaker 1: all kinds of weirdos doing it right.
Speaker 3: And this guy's heart was in the right place supposedly,
Speaker 3: but no, he was a weird george' z Immermann type.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean knew why didn't he just audition to
Speaker 1: be a cop because he was mentally unstable and did
Speaker 1: not pass the tests.
Speaker 3: That was public knowledge.
Speaker 1: So they were like, whoa, wow, I like him.
Speaker 3: He almost touched us.
Speaker 1: Literally, cars keep almost touching.
Speaker 3: I have why don't touch me? It's not even wearing
Speaker 3: a mask. His fender almost touched your fender.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he swung in a little maybe is a way
Speaker 1: to say I'm in charge.
Speaker 3: And look at his elbow. He is tattooed like the
Speaker 3: American flag. His whole arm see the stars.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a long sleeve shirt.
Speaker 3: I think it is. It's a sheer. So then forget
Speaker 3: the tattoo. He's wearing a patriotic fake tattoo body suit. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I hope it's had to toe. I will almost
Speaker 3: Steve's his driving bodysuit.
Speaker 1: I like the idea that the citizen on patrol in
Speaker 1: your town decided they needed to monitor teenagers, right, that's like,
Speaker 1: don't you think red flag number one on through five?
Speaker 3: Yes, especially since he always was holding binoculars. I know. No,
Speaker 3: I just added a joke. And then after he got
Speaker 3: in trouble for pulling out a gun, he was then
Speaker 3: in like a little Honda Cord. He didn't have the
Speaker 3: truck with this with the CB radio anymore. He was
Speaker 3: just in a car. You're right, I didn't realize. This
Speaker 3: is like the when I told you my grandma kept
Speaker 3: stepping on rakes. I wasn't seeing things as they were.
Speaker 3: This guy was maybe.
Speaker 1: You're a child, and I thought you're a child.
Speaker 3: I mean I was, you know, sixteen through twenty one.
Speaker 3: The guy was around a good portion of.
Speaker 1: My life, and you just took it all on face
Speaker 1: value of like, yeah, this guy.
Speaker 3: Chairs, Yeah, he's trying to fight the fight.
Speaker 1: I hope he doesn't wrestle me to the ground again.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he never was focused on me. You know, I
Speaker 3: was shy. I didn't I need no patrolling. I like today,
Speaker 3: you know, with all my home and invasions and things
Speaker 3: I've been doing, spare time.
Speaker 1: Hips, all the stuff, all the illegal stuff. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: you're just addicted to. I'm very aware to God, if
Speaker 1: one more car fucking lane.
Speaker 4: Is, are the the roads narrower?
Speaker 3: That guy was on his phone. He was just about
Speaker 3: to kiss your fender.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also this asshole.
Speaker 3: Here needs to get somewhere.
Speaker 1: He needs to get up there.
Speaker 3: Come on, we're in the same model a vehicle. Come on,
Speaker 3: Why do you need to outperform us?
Speaker 1: Think of Elon and what he needs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this isn't battle Bots hosted by our friend Bill.
Speaker 1: Am I going to be able to turn? I guess
Speaker 1: we'll see.
Speaker 3: That is always what I repeat over and over whenever
Speaker 3: I'm in West Hollywood. I'm very excit. I did about
Speaker 3: our guests today, and I predict he has a very
Speaker 3: funny joke that is about Tesla's and I hope that
Speaker 3: he does it, but he probably won't.
Speaker 1: I don't think he would. He won't if he's a
Speaker 1: genuinely funny, but.
Speaker 3: I've already quoted it in this car. They went about
Speaker 3: any car it can be a tesla if you look
Speaker 3: at a laptop instead of the road. This person, everyone's crazy.
Speaker 3: They honked out of haha, saga frustration and now I'm
Speaker 3: taunting you.
Speaker 1: They're like, I can do what I want.
Speaker 2: Is that this guy.
Speaker 3: Today is in rare form. No, you will just wait
Speaker 3: until you see look at that handsome lad, and then
Speaker 3: I'll be like, bingo, Okay.
Speaker 1: Don't be weird.
Speaker 3: I am not.
Speaker 1: I mean because he's new.
Speaker 3: He doesn't know us, right, so don't yelp bingo? All right?
Speaker 3: And we are, Yeah, we are. It's very close. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna put I'm already celebrating. O.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, get into this car.
Speaker 3: You've seen our guest today. Clubs and colleges across the country.
Speaker 3: Put your ears together for Jared Goldstein.
Speaker 2: Hi, it's Jared. How are you?
Speaker 3: You make up? And then we will read Hi.
Speaker 1: Good, nice to meet you, Karen.
Speaker 2: Karen, Jared, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: I I promised her that upon entry you would do
Speaker 3: your tesla joke. But it's okay, you're off the hook,
Speaker 3: but I would love to. I've done it. I think
Speaker 3: three times, just because this when I see this this monitor,
Speaker 3: think of your joke. Oh my god, and then I
Speaker 3: repeat it, and you.
Speaker 2: Know, honestly, that joke.
Speaker 5: I'm proud of it, but I feel like I just
Speaker 5: ripped off a Parna on sheer La.
Speaker 2: Oh really joke, she's funnier than me.
Speaker 5: The joke, the tesla joke is any car is it?
Speaker 5: I talk about my bad car, but any car is
Speaker 5: a tesla if you look at your iPad instead of the.
Speaker 3: Road, right.
Speaker 5: And there's a formula to that joke. The first time
Speaker 5: I heard it was from a Parna and her joke was,
Speaker 5: any pizza is a personal pizza if you cry while
Speaker 5: you eat it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh I remember that joke and you don't. I don't.
Speaker 3: It's just I mean, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, it's just the format.
Speaker 5: It's a structure, yeah, yeah, yeah, And maybe a Parna
Speaker 5: didn't even invent it, but that's who I credit it to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like a very twittery structure where it's like, oh, great, idea,
Speaker 1: I'll put my own subject verb in there.
Speaker 5: What did my tesla tweek get one hundred and fifty
Speaker 5: four likes on Twitter?
Speaker 2: Maybe it did. That's no longer on Twitter. I hung
Speaker 2: out my hat. Yeah, I had a good week.
Speaker 3: The week the artist formerly known as Twitter. Yeah, this
Speaker 3: X everyone No one just calls it X. They have
Speaker 3: to go Comma the social media formerly known as Twitter,
Speaker 3: because X is meaningless.
Speaker 1: Yes, X is curious George's signature. What are you doing?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Didn't also get like sued because someone already owns X.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The band X maybe could be that could be the
Speaker 1: marxistpot people, the.
Speaker 3: Alcohol industry, the porn industry.
Speaker 1: Porn, I think would have it over every Oh alcohol,
Speaker 1: if there's three yea? Yeah, is a professor, Yeah that's right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: There's everyone's a person that used to be your warrior
Speaker 3: or girlfriend, the exes, Oh right right See I always
Speaker 3: come in with a with a nice soft landing.
Speaker 1: If there's a riff, we were just winding that one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, stoptes of me, Jared.
Speaker 1: How was your day so far?
Speaker 5: My day so far is pretty good. I felt really
Speaker 5: hungover in Yucky yesterday. So today, by virtue of the
Speaker 5: fact that I did not have three tequila sodas, I
Speaker 5: feel like Superman.
Speaker 1: Did you party? Was it a party? Was there an event?
Speaker 2: I went to Dodger Stadium for the first time in
Speaker 2: my life?
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Yeah, what'd you think?
Speaker 2: It was fine?
Speaker 5: It was like it was a little more fun than
Speaker 5: I had thought it would be, which would which was
Speaker 5: not very right. I'll say one really cool thing when
Speaker 5: we got there, it drizzled for like one minute, which
Speaker 5: was just enough.
Speaker 2: Giant rainbow. The wow, giant rainbow over the whole stadium.
Speaker 3: That's cool.
Speaker 5: So my first time ever going to Dodger Stadium, it's
Speaker 5: at sunset, there's a giant rainbow.
Speaker 3: Did you react like that? The double Rainbow guy who
Speaker 3: was a former cage fighter and was delighted by the
Speaker 3: double Rainbow star cage fighter. Yeah, I looked into him.
Speaker 3: I don't remember why. I think he was featured on
Speaker 3: Tosh point zero back when I was affiliated or opening
Speaker 3: for that guy. Yeah, and so maybe they I think
Speaker 3: they interviewed him, but he did not seem he was
Speaker 3: like a hippie guy that camps in the woods, but
Speaker 3: he used to choke people out.
Speaker 5: I mean, speaking of a double rainbow. Coming up on
Speaker 5: our left is is two rainbow flags.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I thought.
Speaker 3: You were going to say the old twenty four hour
Speaker 3: Fitness location. Yeah, it's no longer there. That is a
Speaker 3: double rainbow flag.
Speaker 2: Look at that.
Speaker 1: We're officially in West Hollywood. Now we are parallel to
Speaker 1: the flags.
Speaker 3: We're right in the.
Speaker 2: Thick we've arrved.
Speaker 5: We're also if anyone was confused, in America, there's also
Speaker 5: in American flagwaving.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we usually say that at the top of
Speaker 3: the hour, Welcome America.
Speaker 2: This is America.
Speaker 3: Oh that's a different show when you say your first
Speaker 3: time at Dodger Stadium in your life. You're from New York.
Speaker 2: Right, Yes, I'm from New York, but I've been here
Speaker 2: for quite a while.
Speaker 5: My Okay, So I used to have a joke about
Speaker 5: how I've been to Dodger Stadium twice. It was for
Speaker 5: the vaccine, right, and that's the only time I've ever been.
Speaker 5: So this was technically my third time going to Dodger Stadium.
Speaker 5: The first two times it was, you know, to drive
Speaker 5: through the parking lot to receive the COVID nineteen mavact.
Speaker 1: I wish they frightening time.
Speaker 3: I wish they gave the shot on the pictures mound.
Speaker 3: That would have been I think more people would have
Speaker 3: gotten vaccinated.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been on the JumboTron?
Speaker 3: Oh I haven't. I've always wanted be.
Speaker 2: I know, I really want that too. I feel like
Speaker 2: there's gotta be.
Speaker 5: If I go to a few more games, I'll figure
Speaker 5: out there's there's an opportunity there.
Speaker 1: You know, you have to have something in your back pocket.
Speaker 5: You do, You're not gonna waste that moment by jumping
Speaker 5: around like a maniac.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: It's one of my favorite things to watch on my phone,
Speaker 3: which is my entertainment system, is when someone has a
Speaker 3: big thing in their back pocket and they have a
Speaker 3: whole choreographed dance and the cameraman follows them down the
Speaker 3: stairs and they are dancing to whatever song is playing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's very specific, but it's one of my favorite genres.
Speaker 5: You'd have to try to top a baby. That's kind
Speaker 5: of that seems like the winner. Yeah, being on the
Speaker 5: JumboTron is babies. So I have to just figure out
Speaker 5: what's better than babies.
Speaker 1: What about if you force a kiss cam on a
Speaker 1: stranger next to you. That's kind of my like, I bring.
Speaker 5: Like kind of a I bring my own frame, Like
Speaker 5: I'm wearing the frame like it's a Halloween costume and
Speaker 5: it says like kiss cam with like a little red
Speaker 5: dot recording.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just bring a kissing booth, a frame that says
Speaker 3: of thirty five cents psychiatric help and kisses.
Speaker 1: I mean we can just spitball so many ideas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: got a ton of them, that's.
Speaker 2: My Oh okay, yeah, two babies.
Speaker 5: Oh, I bring two babies and.
Speaker 1: Not twins, because that's the easy version. Yeah, like two
Speaker 1: disparate babies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, I think you definitely would get on camera
Speaker 3: if you're holding two babies. Each arm and on your
Speaker 3: head is one of those drinking helmets, but in each
Speaker 3: holster is milk and the straws.
Speaker 2: Or do they go to the babies?
Speaker 1: Yes, well yeah, but do they or do they?
Speaker 3: Oh that that that provides some open that you can
Speaker 3: improvise a little but that Yeah, well maybe I'll take
Speaker 3: a little sip. The crowd would go wild crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I take it from the baby, I take a
Speaker 5: sick give it back to the baby.
Speaker 1: And then you do so like a take to the
Speaker 1: camera of like parenting. Am I right? So it's like,
Speaker 1: of course I need a little nourishment myself.
Speaker 5: Okay, I think we're getting close to something. Because they
Speaker 5: think it, they don't. People don't have to like it,
Speaker 5: they just have to react to it.
Speaker 2: And share it.
Speaker 1: That's right. They just have to have an experience at
Speaker 1: the moment.
Speaker 3: Yes, now, I'm we're going to run into the problem
Speaker 3: I've experienced many times for trying to shoot a sketch
Speaker 3: or a funny video. Where do we get a baby?
Speaker 2: I know a lot of babies.
Speaker 3: Now, Oh do I know that are bad parents that
Speaker 3: will let me take their bies to a Dodger game.
Speaker 1: And then you'll also need a set teacher so that
Speaker 1: you know, Oh right, like all the.
Speaker 2: All the school they would miss they have, they have.
Speaker 1: School.
Speaker 5: Do you know?
Speaker 2: I was a child actor and I missed school and
Speaker 2: I had set teachers.
Speaker 3: Oh really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, how'd you feel about that?
Speaker 2: I feel great about it. Give me out of there.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I also taught myself math better than my teacher at
Speaker 5: the time taught me math.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my math.
Speaker 2: Teacher agreed to that. Agreed.
Speaker 3: Oh really Yeah, because you came back with more knowledge.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They said that they were shocked that I learned it.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So was that because your set teacher was good
Speaker 1: or because you were just good by.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing about the set teachers.
Speaker 5: They were great, but they were for like young, young,
Speaker 5: young children. I was an older looking I mean a
Speaker 5: younger looking seventeen year old right, Oh, so like this
Speaker 5: who looked eleven.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was a really late bloomer.
Speaker 5: So I was able to play children much, you know,
Speaker 5: for longer than a lot of other kids who were
Speaker 5: very naturally and normally going through puberty at eleven, twelve, thirteen,
Speaker 5: I was not.
Speaker 2: So I was able to keep working.
Speaker 5: So I was I was always on set with like
Speaker 5: nine year olds ten wild. So the tutors were for those,
Speaker 5: you know, aged children, and they never knew my.
Speaker 2: I was like I was in ap classes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a m.
Speaker 2: And they were doing like, you know, sentences.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow. So none of the small talk with the
Speaker 3: other child actors was about school. No, No, like you're
Speaker 3: doing long division and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 5: So yeah, it was it was. It was tough and
Speaker 5: it was fine. It was better than being in school.
Speaker 5: It was like, it was very glamorous.
Speaker 3: So how how young were you and how old was
Speaker 3: the character you were playing when you were like on
Speaker 3: a Modern Family? Were you secretly like twenty years old?
Speaker 5: No? At that point I was a much older child actor,
Speaker 5: still still at it playing I guess that character was
Speaker 5: probably like twenty five.
Speaker 3: Oh, really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, Yeah, when I was a kid, I wasn't
Speaker 2: doing like acting like I was doing theater. Oh. I
Speaker 2: was like doing musical theater in New York. Yeah, like.
Speaker 3: Broadway.
Speaker 2: You freaking know it?
Speaker 1: Are you say? What did you do?
Speaker 2: I was in a Christmas Carol at Madison Square Garden.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yeah, that's what. Who was your character
Speaker 3: in a Christmas played?
Speaker 1: That's a wig.
Speaker 2: When I played.
Speaker 5: Scrooge when he was a kid, when they go back
Speaker 5: in time with the ghost of Christmas Past.
Speaker 2: That's amazing, And you learned that he was once very good.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you didn't have to be the one
Speaker 3: at the end who has to go get the Christmas goose.
Speaker 3: That's a terrible gig.
Speaker 5: Yeah. But I did also play Tiny Tim's brother, and
Speaker 5: a rich kid and a poor kid.
Speaker 2: I played four parts, that's range. Yeah. I played young Scrooge,
Speaker 2: tiny Tim's brother, a.
Speaker 3: Rich and that was a musical. Oh wow.
Speaker 1: You know when you played the rich kid, did you
Speaker 1: have a certain posture and then when you played the
Speaker 1: poor kid, you had the inverted version of that posture.
Speaker 5: Had a rich kid, I had like a beautiful jacket
Speaker 5: and it was like it was like made us some
Speaker 5: kind of special like authentic wool, which means it was
Speaker 5: ugly and bad because this is like what it was
Speaker 5: like the eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2: Don't even know when it was. Yeah, it never happened.
Speaker 2: Times when it was, it was never because Christmas Carol
Speaker 2: is not a document.
Speaker 3: They had the real jacket.
Speaker 1: I just loved them what you said, theautiful jacket to
Speaker 1: really show us.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean like it was a it was
Speaker 5: a navy jacket with black like wool like kind of like, uh,
Speaker 5: I don't know what epaulets are, but I bet it
Speaker 5: was epaulets. And then I had a like a beret
Speaker 5: essentially a bray like a French for it was like
Speaker 5: a like a navy beret.
Speaker 2: And that's what I wore when I was a rich kid.
Speaker 2: And then when you.
Speaker 3: Have an oversized lollipop too, that's what goes with that.
Speaker 2: That would have worked.
Speaker 5: And then when I was playing a poor kid, I
Speaker 5: dressed like everyone dresses, like I would probably say, like
Speaker 5: in twenty fourteen, fingers you got it, you got it, Yeah,
Speaker 5: fingerless glove, beanie suspenders.
Speaker 3: H and m fash fash fast.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like a crop sweater like those sort of
Speaker 5: like remember those like fried boots everyone was wearing like
Speaker 5: that to look like a cobbler or something.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Impossible to break in those boots. Horrible, just
Speaker 1: unless you work on a ranch.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I only wore boat shoes for six years because of fashion.
Speaker 5: And now I have forever callouses.
Speaker 2: On both big toes. Yeah, forever.
Speaker 5: There's no curing the callus that I have on either side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense, just from like Sperry topsiders, Yeah,
Speaker 1: sock list without sock oh bat, I'll do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and working on my feet in them too.
Speaker 1: Did you ever have a problem with foot odor? And
Speaker 1: some Perry topsiders with no s totally? It was so
Speaker 1: I had wore those and also kids in the eighties
Speaker 1: because I was there for the eighties. Yeah, and that
Speaker 1: was one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened.
Speaker 1: Was one time at my friend's house taking off my kids,
Speaker 1: and my friend's like, oh my god, your feet smelled
Speaker 1: so bad, and I was like, wait what And it
Speaker 1: was like I had to discover, like as a twelve
Speaker 1: year old, that you can't just wear socks in kids
Speaker 1: and get away with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it is, it is. It was an unfair
Speaker 3: time because they didn't have these new invisible stuff socks.
Speaker 2: No, no, I had to make my own invisible song.
Speaker 3: Did you you're the inventor of?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I've invented so many things, but I just didn't get
Speaker 5: around to what else?
Speaker 2: What else? Froze? Oh yeah, funny froze? Really that was me?
Speaker 2: That was me?
Speaker 1: Since what year? Would you say?
Speaker 5: Since like twenty thirteen? Twenty thirteen? And then it hit
Speaker 5: the scene and I want to say twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, Crose was me.
Speaker 5: Also the clip that attaches your tablet to your bed
Speaker 5: so you can feel like you have a TV.
Speaker 2: When you don't.
Speaker 5: Oh that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Good job on that one. I did that only one.
Speaker 3: Do you just not know a patent clerk?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Can I?
Speaker 5: When I have these million dollar ideas, it hits me
Speaker 5: like a ton of bricks, And it's a really it's
Speaker 5: actually a very sad moment because I just know the
Speaker 5: truth is like either I'm not I'm just not going
Speaker 5: to get around to doing it, or someone already has
Speaker 5: and it's months out, it's months out for the reveal, Yeah,
Speaker 5: and it's just what am I.
Speaker 3: Going to do?
Speaker 1: Right? There's a there's a real almost like a good
Speaker 1: idea paralysis where it's like, oh, this could really go somewhere,
Speaker 1: and now I'm a burden.
Speaker 5: Yes, And also just the reality that, like I know,
Speaker 5: especially you know, certain times in my life, I'm certainly
Speaker 5: not busy.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 5: If I have any million dollar ideas, I would love
Speaker 5: to pursue them vigorously. But I've been busy before. And
Speaker 5: you know, you just you have to have a lot
Speaker 5: of free time, right to make an idea of reality?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to hang out in your garage a
Speaker 3: lot and do a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: You got a grind with other inventors.
Speaker 1: Right, you know you have to hire a lawyer, you
Speaker 1: have to. Yes, Yeah, you have to protect your rights completely.
Speaker 3: You have to wear a lot of lab coats and
Speaker 3: have wacky hair.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You have to be open to other people's ideas horrifying.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I gotta work on that. I'm really like stubborn.
Speaker 1: Because you know, you have the best ideas.
Speaker 2: I think I do. Yeah, I certainly think I do.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't get that from you. I found
Speaker 3: you to be very open when I when I've met you, okay, good, Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 1: You also smell like coconut, which I really like.
Speaker 2: I'm wearing designer sunscreen.
Speaker 3: Oh really, Yeah, this is a banana boat.
Speaker 5: No it's no, it's it's it's incredibly normal sunscreen. But
Speaker 5: they just like, you know, kind of put a label
Speaker 5: on it. I don't even know what the label is. Actually,
Speaker 5: it's called Vacation. I think that's what it's called. Oh,
Speaker 5: it's called vacation. It might it's not from Supergroup, but it's.
Speaker 1: I have a Supergoop thirty, You have.
Speaker 2: A Super Good thirty.
Speaker 5: This is next to Supergoop, and it's it's just so
Speaker 5: you remember, like American apparel.
Speaker 2: It's like American apparel, but it's sunscreen and it's called Vacation.
Speaker 5: And the bottle is so beautiful and it's it's like
Speaker 5: designed to be scented like classic Oh yeah, nineties eighties sunscreen.
Speaker 1: It smells so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was a bunch of memories just washed a share, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a pinacla vibe to it. There's a real like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're all having a great time.
Speaker 5: And if you see the font on the bottle, you
Speaker 5: will you really feel the fantasy. You're like, oh my god,
Speaker 5: it's nineteen ninety one, remember the original, like not the original,
Speaker 5: but like in the nineties made the Dorito's label. It
Speaker 5: used to just be like kind of a nice font yep.
Speaker 5: And then at some point in like the early two thousands,
Speaker 5: everything got like electric yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, But it
Speaker 5: used to be like Cheerios.
Speaker 2: Everything was just kind of like I kind of like
Speaker 2: the fifties or something. Yeah, this bottle looks.
Speaker 3: Like that as as a I'm a big fan of simple,
Speaker 3: legible fonts. Yeah, and clean logos, and Doritos is all
Speaker 3: over the map. It's just a mess.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's crazy.
Speaker 5: Remember three D Doritos, Like what those the tops?
Speaker 2: They put them in a plastic like tube. Three D Doritos.
Speaker 2: For me, that was like the death of art. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was like we've lost art.
Speaker 3: It's over. Yeah, but they do come with those fun glasses.
Speaker 2: Them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I for a little while they were spicy Doritos, but
Speaker 1: they looked so much like the normal bag that I
Speaker 1: would accidentally get the spicy bag, not kind of not
Speaker 1: paying attention to detail. Else then be like, I don't
Speaker 1: like Dorito's anymore. They burn, I can't do it. And
Speaker 1: then it's like, yeah, you're buying the wrong flavor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there are some chips out there that will affect
Speaker 3: the rest of your day. Yeah, and I don't want
Speaker 3: to get more detailed. Good good, I love it. Are
Speaker 3: you still singing?
Speaker 2: I sing at home?
Speaker 1: But I'm good?
Speaker 3: You're You're probably about to say you aren't and you
Speaker 3: were good as a child and now you are. But
Speaker 3: I bet you're really good.
Speaker 5: I'll say I was good as a child and I'm
Speaker 5: fine now I'm better than most.
Speaker 3: But do you blame puberty?
Speaker 5: Of Oh? It was terrible, Like it was like overnight,
Speaker 5: it was gone. It was gone, and it just did
Speaker 5: not come back. It kind of came back a little bit,
Speaker 5: like maybe fully ten years later, but.
Speaker 2: It's still just like it's just it just left. It
Speaker 2: just left, and I just had to say goodbye to it.
Speaker 3: I have a feeling, though, what if I took you
Speaker 3: to a karaoke night, would you surprise me by melting
Speaker 3: everyone's faces?
Speaker 5: I wouldn't, I swear to god, I wouldn't. Really, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I wouldn't. I think if you, like, if you maybe
Speaker 5: caught me on a good day and you you had
Speaker 5: your ear up to my window and you heard me
Speaker 5: singing in the bathroom, you might think for a second
Speaker 5: it was the radio and then go, oh my god, wait, who.
Speaker 2: Is like that?
Speaker 5: You might have that experience, but no any like any
Speaker 5: kind of like live performing of singing.
Speaker 2: It's like it just got It was so.
Speaker 5: Bad and hard and sad and like to really to
Speaker 5: like go from Broadway to like I can't get a
Speaker 5: job was like as like a teenager.
Speaker 2: It was just like devastating.
Speaker 1: That's a lot. Yeah, like too, you'd have to be
Speaker 1: very i think maybe even overly therapies to be able
Speaker 1: to process that and not have it be bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was just like honestly, the best I could
Speaker 5: do was like, after years and years of like trying
Speaker 5: and trying and trying to get it back, I just
Speaker 5: gave up on trying. And then a little while later
Speaker 5: I was at work at a restaurant job, and I
Speaker 5: was had my headphones in and I was just like
Speaker 5: singing to myself kind of like you know, without any
Speaker 5: awareness of people around me.
Speaker 2: And the hostess at the restaurant.
Speaker 5: She laughed at me and she goes, she's like, she goes,
Speaker 5: don't quit your day job.
Speaker 2: And then when we know but here's the thing, this.
Speaker 5: Used to be my dad literally literally, but we both
Speaker 5: laughed and I laughed genuinely, and it was the first
Speaker 5: time that I that that would even be like remotely
Speaker 5: funny or yeah, I had any levity about it.
Speaker 3: It is always funny to say that to someone as
Speaker 3: you're both at your day jobs.
Speaker 5: Yes, exactly, yes, So it was like, oh wow, in
Speaker 5: that moment, it was kind of nice. It was like, oh, look,
Speaker 5: I really did kind of let this go. And then
Speaker 5: later on in life, I woke up in the first
Speaker 5: thing I did was look at Instagram because I have
Speaker 5: normal healthy practices, and I saw a reel of like
Speaker 5: a Broadway show and it just looked so silly to me,
Speaker 5: and it was like it became clear to me.
Speaker 2: It was like, oh wait, like I actually it was.
Speaker 5: I'm sad that it was taken away and that I
Speaker 5: didn't get to choose if I wanted.
Speaker 2: To keep doing it.
Speaker 5: But if I could choose to keep doing it, I
Speaker 5: wouldn't want to.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't choose that for you either, because I've seen
Speaker 3: you do stand up.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you.
Speaker 3: I think that that's what.
Speaker 1: You should be, that's what you're meant to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've seen a lot of stand up lately, well,
Speaker 3: not as much as I used to. They're just starting
Speaker 3: as many shows. But we've been on a few shows
Speaker 3: together and you always have great jokes.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm really said that when you're not in
Speaker 3: the car.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is behind you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and now I'm saying thank you behind yours.
Speaker 3: It's the way the car is configured.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do think what you're saying, this just
Speaker 1: is making me think of a like a similar thing
Speaker 1: that I went through where when it was like not
Speaker 1: my choice to it felt like the world was ending
Speaker 1: and so horrifying. That car's abandoned, that car it is.
Speaker 3: How did you even know?
Speaker 1: Because I was making sure. I literally was like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna come and t bone me. I like
Speaker 1: to see if I can't, And there's just no one
Speaker 1: in the car.
Speaker 3: They even took the time, and maybe the car does
Speaker 3: it on their own. They've fold up their I want
Speaker 3: to call them ears, but that's not the cars of
Speaker 3: yours sideview mirrors. Yeah, that's right, you got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild. But point being just exactly what you
Speaker 1: said is very wise, which is when it's about choice,
Speaker 1: So grieving the loss of a choice can sometimes be
Speaker 1: as sad as anything else, because you're just like I
Speaker 1: believed in myself and I thought it was like better
Speaker 1: than you know, the average person. And then now I'm
Speaker 1: having to look at it in a different way, and
Speaker 1: then you can be like late a little later on
Speaker 1: when you get to have those feelings, then you're just
Speaker 1: like or not or that whole experience was just what
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was a great experience that I'm like,
Speaker 5: it's like if the worst thing that happened to me
Speaker 5: was I was on Broadway only as a child, It's great.
Speaker 2: It's so great, and I'm.
Speaker 5: Like, it's all lucky, and obviously I'm just bitter and
Speaker 5: jealous now, but yeah, it was. It was cool and
Speaker 5: I'll never shut up about it.
Speaker 1: Ever.
Speaker 3: It is was it Were you cool?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: At school? Did you miss a lot.
Speaker 5: Of My sister was really popular and I was really not.
Speaker 5: And doing this helped. Right when I was a kid,
Speaker 5: I was. I was in a sketch on SNL one weekend. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and uh, a teacher of mine asked me to bring
Speaker 5: the VHS of it to school, so I did, And
Speaker 5: then in every next class there was a student from
Speaker 5: the from the class prior who would say, Jared was.
Speaker 2: On SNL this weekending it vies and is with him
Speaker 2: making play with was White.
Speaker 5: So we just played it all day long, and I
Speaker 5: guess that was probably my first experience of going viral.
Speaker 5: Yeah that's the views, you know, the hour every forty
Speaker 5: five minutes that that video got thirty views that.
Speaker 3: I still have dreams about about going back to school
Speaker 3: and something like that. I don't know why. It's usually
Speaker 3: a piano concert in the gymnasium, but something that all
Speaker 3: the kids, uh, the kids love, Yeah, whether it be
Speaker 3: a perfect dance or something something to make you stand
Speaker 3: out other than just being quiet and shy, which is
Speaker 3: what I was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what sketch was it that you were at?
Speaker 5: It was called the Fun Friends Club. Tina Fey wrote it.
Speaker 5: It's with Jimmy Fallon as the director of a kids show.
Speaker 2: Rayleota played Barney, and the joke.
Speaker 5: Was we had all come back from hiatus and all
Speaker 5: the kids were now into puberty and it really was
Speaker 5: sort of a foreshadowing of my future.
Speaker 2: Oh, it totally was, Yeah, because the joke was that
Speaker 2: my voice changed.
Speaker 3: Did you lower your voice or did you know?
Speaker 5: Don Pardo the announcer, Oh, that's why my voice and
Speaker 5: my lip synced to Don Pardo.
Speaker 2: Do it like he literally did. Excuse me?
Speaker 5: May I go to the bathroom, and before saying that,
Speaker 5: Brayley Yoda says to Who's only where, Who's Who's taken
Speaker 5: the head off of his Barney costume and he's smoking
Speaker 5: a cigarette.
Speaker 2: He says to Jimmy Fallon, who's the director, It's only
Speaker 2: gonna get worse. I think Jao Ping's voice is changing.
Speaker 5: And then I walk up and my characters name is
Speaker 5: joking oh wow, which used to get a.
Speaker 2: Really big laugh.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Over the year, I now say that people kind of go,
Speaker 5: what's that written? Or that.
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Everyone's just like, no, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's amazing. Was that one of your earlier TV jobs? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like one of the coolest things.
Speaker 1: And what I love is you remember the lines, because
Speaker 1: I bet you they're in your brain forever.
Speaker 5: I remember the songs. I don't remember the choreography, but
Speaker 5: I could maybe remember that if I tried, I can
Speaker 5: get the choreography back.
Speaker 1: You could. Yeah, it's all muscle memory.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all in there there.
Speaker 3: So where all the other kids ten years younger literally
Speaker 3: were I was the only one who knew where I was.
Speaker 2: I was freaking out.
Speaker 5: I was so excited to me Jimmy Fallon, Yes, and
Speaker 5: all these people, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 3: They had no idea. They were like eight, that's so great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was fourteen, that's so crazy.
Speaker 1: And wait, so can you talk about the feeling of
Speaker 1: doing it live? Did you have any kind of uh
Speaker 1: like realization this is live and they don't mess up
Speaker 1: in all those kind of panics.
Speaker 5: Not really, honestly, just because like I was coming from
Speaker 5: musical theater, so I was really used to like just
Speaker 5: every time counts, you just do it.
Speaker 2: You rehearse it.
Speaker 5: Also, you get to rehearse it so like you don't
Speaker 5: have to feel scared because you've done it a bunch.
Speaker 3: You're likely the only child there that had performed at
Speaker 3: Radio City Musical.
Speaker 2: Actually, no, one of the other kids was in the
Speaker 2: show with me.
Speaker 3: Oh really Yeah, Tiny Tim's other brother.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tiny Tim's cousin.
Speaker 1: You're just staring him down, like can stop getting the jobs?
Speaker 1: I guess you know.
Speaker 2: Actually it was Tiny Tim's sister. That's real. Yeah, yeah
Speaker 2: it was. It was a good little time.
Speaker 5: But that's also when I started doing stand up. That's
Speaker 5: what I really liked about It was like, oh, it's
Speaker 5: like theater because like I'm on a stage, there's lights,
Speaker 5: the people are here.
Speaker 2: I hear it right away. I get to.
Speaker 5: Practice it before I do it, because like when you're
Speaker 5: like doing television or film, it's like it's really scary
Speaker 5: because there's this camera.
Speaker 2: And you're like, oh my god, like action like go.
Speaker 2: You know that.
Speaker 5: That was very intimidating, But like getting like anything live
Speaker 5: was like you just also like if you mess up, like.
Speaker 2: No one really even knows, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like you're just kind.
Speaker 1: Of like although having to lip sync.
Speaker 5: I bet was a little okay, can I'll be vulnerable
Speaker 5: right now. In the rehearsal, I my lip sync was
Speaker 5: perfect in the In the actual you know show, my
Speaker 5: lip sync is not perfect.
Speaker 3: Well, it's a hard thing. You don't know when Pardo
Speaker 3: is about to start.
Speaker 5: Literally yeah, like there's no music. It's fully just like, yeah,
Speaker 5: we didn't it didn't happen. It didn't come together.
Speaker 3: So when you were practicing, were you practicing to a recording?
Speaker 5: I don't really remember. Yeah, I think we just practiced
Speaker 5: a couple of times. You know, It's crazy it's live.
Speaker 2: The intro to the show is live every time. I
Speaker 2: didn't know that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, old him saying all those nay, I
Speaker 3: didn't know that any single show.
Speaker 5: Don I think it Now it's Darryl Hammond. I think
Speaker 5: I don't know what they do anymore. But back in
Speaker 5: the day, Don Pardo was in the building every Saturday
Speaker 5: night saying it every time.
Speaker 1: Wow, wow, very exciting.
Speaker 3: Jamie, kind of a Halloween I'm haunting you with.
Speaker 1: The cow, very spooky.
Speaker 3: Wow. That is amazing. Yeah, So when you when your
Speaker 3: voice changed and you were like, I don't know if
Speaker 3: I'm going to be a musical theater person name or
Speaker 3: where your parents like support him? Did they want you
Speaker 3: to be doing that or yeah?
Speaker 5: It was like it was that part was hard because
Speaker 5: like we just didn't know, like you know, we didn't
Speaker 5: like my my mom does nails, my dad's an accountant,
Speaker 5: Like we didn't have any like experience like with like
Speaker 5: it was so fun when it was good, and then
Speaker 5: when it got bad, like we just didn't know what
Speaker 5: to do and like all we really had to go
Speaker 5: off of was like Mariah Carey's behind the music.
Speaker 1: So you just owed everybody all your slips.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So.
Speaker 5: We just were like it was just like, you know,
Speaker 5: get tougher, go home. Yeah, and we were and like
Speaker 5: it that that part was the hard part was like
Speaker 5: when it started going badly, like it very much felt
Speaker 5: like it was my fall and like a better, more dedicated,
Speaker 5: you know, destined star would figure this out and I
Speaker 5: wasn't figuring it out.
Speaker 2: And I was trying to figure it out and I
Speaker 2: just couldn't.
Speaker 5: So it was like it was already sad, but then
Speaker 5: on top of that, it was like I felt like
Speaker 5: I was failing and I felt like I was somehow
Speaker 5: doing the wrong thing, or like if I if I
Speaker 5: ever felt I remember at the time like I got
Speaker 5: fired from this musical and then essentially after that, I
Speaker 5: just like never worked again. And I remember like my manager,
Speaker 5: who was like exactly what you would think like a
Speaker 5: child acting manager.
Speaker 2: Was to a t she was exactly that.
Speaker 5: She she told my mom that, like, you know, he
Speaker 5: might be gun shy for a little while, and like
Speaker 5: that's okay and we just have to like just know that.
Speaker 5: And then my mom told me that and I was like,
Speaker 5: what's gun shy?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: And like that's how I learned the word gun.
Speaker 5: Shy and it like that that went so deep and
Speaker 5: I was like, damn, I guess I'm gun shy.
Speaker 3: It was a simpler time children. You staff to act
Speaker 3: at gunpoint, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: You had to love it. You have to really be
Speaker 1: good and dance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's never loaded.
Speaker 1: But also doesn't it seem like in that I feel
Speaker 1: like I know myself lots of people that have done
Speaker 1: it where it's like anything that's happening while things are
Speaker 1: slowing down are not going well, Yeah, it doesn't. People
Speaker 1: could be saying anything, and it's like I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, it's like you just a phrase,
Speaker 1: a passing phrase that someone says somebody I can't. I
Speaker 1: think it was like Roger Rittenhouse somebody one time in
Speaker 1: the middle of a bar turning me and goes, what
Speaker 1: happened with you? Everybody thought like you were gonna do
Speaker 1: like and I was like looking at him money and
Speaker 1: I was very nice. I was real drunk, but I
Speaker 1: was like looking at him like what the fuck? And
Speaker 1: then it was like I was probably twenty five or
Speaker 1: twenty six, and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm done,
Speaker 1: Like this is there's no hope. Yeah, And that's the
Speaker 1: thing if you're too young and you don't know, it's
Speaker 1: like there's not you just said I I never worked again,
Speaker 1: it's like, yes you have, Yes, you've done all kinds
Speaker 1: of stuff, like there's such a chapter two, next chapter
Speaker 1: whatever waiting and we can't know that at that time
Speaker 1: because we just have to like go through the bad part.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and it's yeah, it's tough. It's tough also
Speaker 2: because it's.
Speaker 5: Like it's it's just hard and like they don't know
Speaker 5: one means to hurt you like that.
Speaker 2: Then I even realize it's happening.
Speaker 5: It's like a passing moment for them, right, But it's
Speaker 5: like when things are bad, like yeah, maybe maybe maybe
Speaker 5: I'll write a book someday on how to how to
Speaker 5: talk to a child actor who doesn't book, Yeah, you
Speaker 5: know how to talk.
Speaker 2: To you aboard book?
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, it's a children's book, a pop up book.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a picture of a kid who looks just
Speaker 5: like them but a little bit younger.
Speaker 2: It's like popping out.
Speaker 1: And everyone's gathered around.
Speaker 3: But now, oh my god.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When people say that, it's it's almost like they're trying
Speaker 3: to compliment you. Like ever since I first saw you.
Speaker 3: I thought you were destined for something. Isn't it crazy
Speaker 3: that it hasn't happened? But that hurts when someone says that. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: just don't say it. Don't tell people that you had
Speaker 3: expectations of them. That guy is just gonna. I bet
Speaker 3: he abandons the car.
Speaker 2: And they're doing two podcasts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one's about tow trucks, the other ones about being toad,
Speaker 1: which can be very humiliating. Sometimes.
Speaker 2: I've never I have not yet been toad ever.
Speaker 5: No, I've only been dry for like two years.
Speaker 3: Oh well there's the answer. Yeah. Yeah, my first ten
Speaker 3: years I was toe free real yeah, born without toes.
Speaker 3: And then I moved. It happened. I but such stupid things.
Speaker 3: I remember leaving Michelle Balloon used to live right up
Speaker 3: here on Hollywood Boulevard, and I just left my car
Speaker 3: overnight and slept on her couch and it was gone
Speaker 3: the next day, and I called the police. My car
Speaker 3: has been stolen. Like I just was so laive and
Speaker 3: so kept happening. I have been to it many times.
Speaker 2: Oh damn, and avoid it.
Speaker 3: Read those signs. They can be confusing. Oftentimes there's seven
Speaker 3: of them stacked on top of each other, but the
Speaker 3: whole going to the holding area and having to pay
Speaker 3: for the daily them having your car there. It's expensive.
Speaker 3: You don't meet any nice people.
Speaker 1: No, they don't care about your story.
Speaker 3: No they don't. And I always tell it.
Speaker 1: What how I was gonna say, how different is Los
Speaker 1: Angeles from New York.
Speaker 2: No, it's exactly the same.
Speaker 1: It is, isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's literally the same.
Speaker 3: But that is why you've only been driving a couple
Speaker 3: of years, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. When I first got here, I was borrowing my
Speaker 2: friend's cars and that was that was great.
Speaker 5: I when I moved here, I was like friends with
Speaker 5: all these actors who were doing really well, and they
Speaker 5: would like go to film a movie for three months
Speaker 5: in Budapest and maybe like take my twenty ten Honda.
Speaker 3: You're like car sitting.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, And I literally like got by for years
Speaker 5: like that. There are so many twenty three year olds
Speaker 5: in the city who are currently in Budapest for Atlanta.
Speaker 1: They have apartments, they have cars, you can sit.
Speaker 2: Their dog completely totally. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I just got by like that for a while
Speaker 5: and then that stopped working for it, and then but
Speaker 5: then uber was it came around and then yeah, and
Speaker 5: then I.
Speaker 2: Used to like uberpool and lyft line everywhere.
Speaker 5: When when lyft Line first started, I once lifted to
Speaker 5: the airport for sixteen dollars.
Speaker 2: Right, we did pick up anyone. We didn't pick anyone up.
Speaker 5: It was a lift line from West Hollywood to lax
Speaker 5: the Dream.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sixteen dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Those earliers were the best and it was crazy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: totally makes sense. What I can't believe is how many
Speaker 3: adults I knew when I moved here in the early
Speaker 3: two thousands that were adults that had never driven and
Speaker 3: lived in this city and took taxis that. I was like,
Speaker 3: how do how does that work? But Paul Tompkins remember,
Speaker 3: he was like, yeah, did not have a license, had
Speaker 3: never driven, and was a full on functioning adult. But nowadays,
Speaker 3: because of lift and uber you could do it. I
Speaker 3: think about it. Sometimes I should just leave this car
Speaker 3: at a stop light and just walk into Echo Park.
Speaker 3: It is an option.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you test those like float or have any kind
Speaker 2: of water protections?
Speaker 1: I think there is a kind of like they I
Speaker 1: don't think they float. That would be incredible. I would
Speaker 1: have driven it into something by now, But I do
Speaker 1: think they have like a sealed off thing.
Speaker 3: Whoa, I do think that available on YouTube are videos
Speaker 3: of these cars being driven into water and really yeah,
Speaker 3: and they will act like a boat for a moment.
Speaker 1: Are you sure you're not thinking of the boat car video?
Speaker 3: I am thinking of the James Bond Lotus that becomes
Speaker 3: a submarine's but it's the same color as this car.
Speaker 1: Did you hear that? Elon Musk was live streaming driving
Speaker 1: his car and he put it into Elon mode and
Speaker 1: he almost the car almost killed them.
Speaker 2: Whoa, well a.
Speaker 1: Lot live stream because he was like this Elon mode
Speaker 1: where all the rules are being broken and all this
Speaker 1: crazy shit, and then it just drove him through a
Speaker 1: red light and through a four way stop.
Speaker 3: How symbolical.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's our experience with him.
Speaker 2: I didn't hear that.
Speaker 3: And you can. I can watch that, Yes you can
Speaker 3: right now. Won't it be bad for podcasts? Yes?
Speaker 1: It's not a good idea.
Speaker 3: Okay, I won't, but you can. Wow, of course that happened, Jared.
Speaker 1: How's your summer? Ben? Overall? Do you want to talk
Speaker 1: about any highlights?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 2: I met my boyfriend's family on Long Island. How was it?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 5: It was great. It was really good. I'm a brand
Speaker 5: new boyfriend. It's my first time ever doing it, and
Speaker 5: I'm really.
Speaker 2: Bad at it. But I gotta say I knocked out
Speaker 2: of the park meeting the family. I like him, Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: he likes you a lot.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's really great.
Speaker 5: He's great, and he grew up in a famously haunted
Speaker 5: house in a gorgeous town. We're both from Long Island,
Speaker 5: and we're both just about the same age, which is
Speaker 5: fun because we just we're only just now meeting and
Speaker 5: we're you know, we're long distance and all these things.
Speaker 5: So when I just thought we grew up the same
Speaker 5: because we both grew up on Long Island. But his
Speaker 5: town is.
Speaker 6: Like so so beautiful, and it was cool to go
Speaker 6: and like eat crab and like see like these like
Speaker 6: little islands and stuff, and that was like a fun
Speaker 6: part of the summer.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: I'm so I don't know anything about Long Island and
Speaker 3: this might make everyone laugh, but is it indeed an island?
Speaker 5: It is, And it's also really long, like if you
Speaker 5: drive to like Montalk or the Hamptons, which is at
Speaker 5: the end of it.
Speaker 2: Essentially, it takes so long.
Speaker 5: You hate it and you can't believe it, and you're like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, it really.
Speaker 2: Is so long.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So wait, he still lives there your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: No, well he lives in Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: Now, oh, I didn't know it was. It's currently long distance.
Speaker 5: Yeah, although he's actually in my apartment right now.
Speaker 2: With food poisoning.
Speaker 1: Prove it.
Speaker 3: Fo yo.
Speaker 2: Yeah he got food poisoning.
Speaker 1: Did he get it at the Dodger Stadium.
Speaker 5: Well, here's a thing I felt terrible yesterday, which included
Speaker 5: nausea but also kind of just being hungover from like
Speaker 5: the drinking.
Speaker 2: He felt okay.
Speaker 5: We then went to a diner where he had Morella sticks. Oh,
Speaker 5: and then the first thing he threw up in the
Speaker 5: middle of the night was monzerellt. So he feels like
Speaker 5: maybe he got food poisoning from the diner, but maybe
Speaker 5: it was maybe it was like a delayed you know,
Speaker 5: maybe it was a one two punch of Dodger Stadium
Speaker 5: wow diner.
Speaker 3: Yes, No, it's some you never know what. I have
Speaker 3: narrowed it down where my food poisoning came from. One time.
Speaker 3: It was the Burger place next to the Comedy club
Speaker 3: in Austin. I knew I got it there and I
Speaker 3: went back to tell them, Hey, by the way, I
Speaker 3: got sick yesterday, but I showed up hungry and I
Speaker 3: ended up getting another burger. There's no way it's going
Speaker 3: to happen again. And it, even though it made me sick,
Speaker 3: it was delicious. I do recall it.
Speaker 1: My god, you refuse to learn.
Speaker 3: The last time I saw you, Jared, we did a
Speaker 3: show here at the Pleasure Chest. Yes, it's where I
Speaker 3: met said boyfriend, and then I had my nieces in town.
Speaker 3: But you then you went across the street and I
Speaker 3: couldn't go, and you said, well, let's have lunch sometime soon. Yes,
Speaker 3: And I've thought about it. I felt like too much
Speaker 3: time for out of the blue recently to suddenly say hey,
Speaker 3: let's do that lunch.
Speaker 5: And I think that's actually the right call, So I
Speaker 5: think we should. I don't think we should ever get lunch.
Speaker 3: Right, Okay, that's what you knew. Is it too late
Speaker 3: to call it off? Okay, I'm glad the mistake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, let's definitely get lunch. Also, you miss nothing.
Speaker 5: We went to Bar Lubach for two minutes and then
Speaker 5: just went home.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well we didn't even get a drink. We just walked
Speaker 5: in realized this wasn't the move.
Speaker 1: We went on bar lubitch is it. I always thought
Speaker 1: that that would be such a cool place to have
Speaker 1: fun on a non comedy night because of maybe because
Speaker 1: of the black and white tile floor, or that there
Speaker 1: would be some sort of I don't know, Russian vibe
Speaker 1: meet Russian person. I don't know, but I feel like
Speaker 1: that never has happened, right.
Speaker 3: It's aesthetically pleasing. And then I have been there for
Speaker 3: non comedy events. I even had like my first album
Speaker 3: release party there. It is like, if you're not in
Speaker 3: that back room doing stand upon that stage.
Speaker 5: Which I love, it's so fun, so good, it's so fun,
Speaker 5: such a good run.
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is about it, but I've
Speaker 3: never not had fun on that stage.
Speaker 5: Yeah, performing for six people, Yes, it's always fun.
Speaker 1: I just had a memory the other day. This is
Speaker 1: I'll be vulnerable too, because this is really embarrassing to admit,
Speaker 1: but it's true and no surprise. But I was thinking
Speaker 1: about a set I did there one time, and it
Speaker 1: was when I was doing my comedy music, which of
Speaker 1: course I felt a lot of shame about as I
Speaker 1: would perform it, and I started a song and these
Speaker 1: kind of drunkie these. It was a table of women
Speaker 1: that had a real bachelorette party vibe to them, and
Speaker 1: they started singing along with me, and in perfect time,
Speaker 1: I just went no, and then right into the next thing.
Speaker 1: Do you ever do that when you remind yourself of
Speaker 1: like a complete improvised victory from staying The audience went
Speaker 1: so insane for just like the lightest smack. And I
Speaker 1: just thought of that the other day, and I was
Speaker 1: just like.
Speaker 3: They knew your song, they knew your lyrics. Were these fans?
Speaker 1: No, no, no? It was almost like they'd gotten to
Speaker 1: the chorus and they were gonna they were going to
Speaker 1: do it too or some ship. I don't really know
Speaker 1: what they were thinking, but I was not into it.
Speaker 3: I feel that way even when an audience starts clapping.
Speaker 3: I like when an artist is like, please don't clap now,
Speaker 3: I have to actually listen to the drummer that a
Speaker 3: few times, it's like no one's ever been, No audience
Speaker 3: has ever been good at clapping and keeping the beat.
Speaker 1: No, we just say, no, white audience.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry everyone, but can we look at that robot
Speaker 3: and not agree that not only are they kind of cute.
Speaker 3: I worry about those delivery robots. Yes, that's what I
Speaker 3: was talking about.
Speaker 5: Their proximity to children makes them like exponentially cuter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I'm.
Speaker 2: Watching a Pixar movie because robot.
Speaker 3: If you talk about them or address them, they do
Speaker 3: slow down, like they they they're aware of you. Yes,
Speaker 3: And I wonder if a little kid went up HI,
Speaker 3: if they'd stop. And because they have a smiling face,
Speaker 3: they have a voice that says excuse me.
Speaker 2: They're like Wally, they say excuse me.
Speaker 3: Yes, they are adorable. I'm always worried someone will vandalize them.
Speaker 1: I saw a video of one rolling through a crime
Speaker 1: scene one time. It's just like those tape up and
Speaker 1: cops standing around, and that thing just rolls right through
Speaker 1: the start and.
Speaker 3: They're picking up blood samples.
Speaker 2: Whoa, and you would never know if that was your food.
Speaker 1: You're like, did my five guys just get rolled through?
Speaker 3: There's right, five guys, there's blood on my front.
Speaker 2: Do you think they put those like circle lights.
Speaker 5: That kind of look like eyes on them as like
Speaker 5: a defense mechanism.
Speaker 3: They Yeah, they must have. I hope they have some
Speaker 3: defense mechanism because people just like half the city. Their
Speaker 3: tendency is to walk up to that bird scooter and
Speaker 3: just kick it over. Yeah, because they want to be
Speaker 3: punk rock or something. I do feel like they probably
Speaker 3: get vandalized all the time. So a giant light.
Speaker 2: Right, Like imagine if that limescreater had a giraffe head. Yeah,
Speaker 2: wouldn't you be like you'd like probably like fuck with it?
Speaker 3: Last? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, they should add a little
Speaker 3: faces like a Tommy the Train fish.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I honestly, I'm not convinced yet that they haven't
Speaker 5: already done that. I feel like those circles because they
Speaker 5: don't need those lights. Do they are those lights? It's
Speaker 5: not lighting the way or anything right makes them. It's
Speaker 5: like it just gives it. It's the suggestion of a face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anthropomorphizes that.
Speaker 5: Yes, so it's like it's it's it's a little bit
Speaker 5: sinister in a way.
Speaker 2: But I really.
Speaker 3: It's a great idea.
Speaker 2: I know, what can we do?
Speaker 1: I mean, who cares?
Speaker 3: Well? I almost started talking about putting little outfits on them,
Speaker 3: but we can totally chose.
Speaker 4: But he's got a brat and a be a full
Speaker 4: jacket beautiful.
Speaker 3: Oh this is terrific.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've really driven all around.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you haven't seen your neighborhood yet, I hope
Speaker 3: you're enjoying it.
Speaker 5: You got to stop by this ag and R blocks.
Speaker 1: So much nicer than the one in my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: They're so good with a state planning. Yeah, very that
Speaker 3: location specifically, I feel it's very that you were hungover
Speaker 3: because of three drinks. Lets me know, that is a
Speaker 3: very innocent number of drinks. And I think that if
Speaker 3: I lived in this area when I was younger and
Speaker 3: when I first moved here, I would have been in
Speaker 3: trouble because it's so easy to just walk, Oh i'm bored,
Speaker 3: let's go party for no reason.
Speaker 2: Totally totally.
Speaker 1: Let's go watch some like drag Bingo or something that's
Speaker 1: the Boots my personal favorite.
Speaker 3: It is a fun part of town to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been slowing down on drinking.
Speaker 3: I have, It's well, I have not for six months.
Speaker 3: I think I'm done.
Speaker 5: Oh beautiful, I think, oh that's great, but okay, cool.
Speaker 2: But also if you're not done, fine.
Speaker 3: Right, I am leaving that possibility open because I don't
Speaker 3: want to disappoint myself later. But between me and myself
Speaker 3: and everyone in this car and I guess the listeners.
Speaker 3: I think I'm done.
Speaker 2: I think you're done. Yeah yeah. The less you do it,
Speaker 2: the easier it is to be done.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also, here's what I'm realizing now, and this is this
Speaker 5: is a part of the reason it's I feel great
Speaker 5: in taking a break right now.
Speaker 2: I'm tired of the drinks that we have. Right now,
Speaker 2: I've had them all.
Speaker 1: What have you been drinking lately?
Speaker 5: Like, you know, we get new drinks every seven years.
Speaker 5: Right now it's orange wine and the Groanie and oh
Speaker 5: that's right, things, you know, Like I've had them, and
Speaker 5: like I have like some of them. I like some
Speaker 5: of them I don't. I've definitely had enough of all
Speaker 5: the ones I really like. And now I'm at a
Speaker 5: point where like when I when I I've also exhausted
Speaker 5: my classics, like the idea of a martini. I'm just
Speaker 5: kind of like, oh, I have a martini. So I'm
Speaker 5: kind of just bored of drinking right now. So I'm like,
Speaker 5: let me wait a few years until we get some
Speaker 5: you know, green.
Speaker 3: Wine and wine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I need new drinks because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: bored of what we have and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it's you're right.
Speaker 3: I've never really realized that there was like the Year
Speaker 3: of the Mahido, the Year of the Moscow.
Speaker 5: Yes, and people and my god, but if you asked
Speaker 5: for a Moscow mule today, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Know, I got like this guy's from twenty thirteen. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look at this old nerd.
Speaker 5: Yeah moos that was like two thousand and seven.
Speaker 3: And you invented that, right, Yeah, that was all Yeah. Wait,
Speaker 3: what's the drink? You invented a frozen frozen frozen yeah,
Speaker 3: which yeah, my my extensive knowledge of the language means
Speaker 3: a frozen rosy exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2: I put that those two together.
Speaker 1: So good.
Speaker 3: We're actually dropping you off at your driveway, which looks
Speaker 3: more like a walkway. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it used to look even better. They went too
Speaker 5: far with the like landscaping. It used to be so
Speaker 5: overgrown and lush. It looked like Jurassic Park. It was
Speaker 5: so cool, and now it's you know, it's it's still there.
Speaker 3: Wait do you have park? Do people drive on that? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you drive right up that cool, which is kind
Speaker 5: of fun. You kind of bounce up and you drive
Speaker 5: straight into the back and then there's a garage back there.
Speaker 1: So it was like more of this yeah stuff.
Speaker 2: There was so much more. Really, it looked like a jungle.
Speaker 2: It looked like you were entering a jungle. It was
Speaker 2: so cool. It was definitely one of the most exciting
Speaker 2: parts of the apartment.
Speaker 3: If I was visiting here and I didn't know better,
Speaker 3: I would just see this and go, oh, this is
Speaker 3: where the shaw Melrose plays.
Speaker 2: It's got that.
Speaker 3: Yes, you are you pels with all your neighbors.
Speaker 2: I am pals with some of them.
Speaker 3: Yes, not all of them, No, certainly not. Most people
Speaker 3: are terrible.
Speaker 1: In this.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you want to plug anything before we wrap it up?
Speaker 2: Oh? I will plug.
Speaker 5: Lipospheric Vitamin C. Oh, sure, it's great your skin. Okay,
Speaker 5: try it's expensive, but it's kind of worth it.
Speaker 1: What does it do for your skin?
Speaker 2: It just makes it kind of plump.
Speaker 5: But you know what Vitamin C serum is designed to
Speaker 5: like make you plump and bright. I feel like it
Speaker 5: doesn't really work, but if you eat it, it does.
Speaker 5: And lisp Vitamin C. If you put it into a
Speaker 5: cup of water and you throw it back like a shot.
Speaker 2: It looks like orange mucus. It's very cool. And then
Speaker 2: a couple of days later, you wake.
Speaker 3: Up and you go really.
Speaker 4: To your face.
Speaker 3: I'm yeah, that's interesting that I would think it would
Speaker 3: have to be topical, otherwise it would take years to
Speaker 3: see the topical takes years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, take it vitamins.
Speaker 3: Now, can I squirt the lotion that I already have
Speaker 3: into my mouth? Now? Don't do that? Okay? What if
Speaker 3: it smells like your sunscreen delicious coat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good thing that he does. It smells,
Speaker 1: so it smells amazing.
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1: And it's kind of like it's not just a scent,
Speaker 1: but it is a vibe.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sorry to say that you don't need to
Speaker 5: wear colon when you're wearing a s It.
Speaker 3: Does remind me of a girlfriend that was mean to me,
Speaker 3: But that doesn't.
Speaker 1: That's your thing.
Speaker 3: Well, everyone that has a computer just type and Jared
Speaker 3: Goldstein and enjoy his life's works on the computer.
Speaker 2: It's all there, it's all there. Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're the best.
Speaker 1: It was so nice to meet you.
Speaker 2: This was great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so fun.
Speaker 3: And check out Jared's stand up. Most importantly to me
Speaker 3: and me and Karen, you've been listening to do you
Speaker 3: need a Ride d y n a R. This has
Speaker 3: been an exactly right.
Speaker 1: Production produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 3: Mixed by Edson Choy.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 3: Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh you're welcome.
Speaker 3: Oh no oh, there's a doubt
Speaker 1: Set the dog