WEBVTT - I'm Only Gay For You 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:16.440 and the Black Effect, and just like that, welcome back 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:18.959 to got another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl. Just 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:21.159 hilarious to be on the air. We're gonna jump right in. 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.480 We got a lot of voice notes, so listen y'all. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.360 Good morning Jazz. I know it's early as fun, but 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:32.680 I've been meaning to send you this voice note because 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.000 I need you to help me figure out my mess, 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:37.519 like how I'll hit you with that one to not 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:40.360 fix my mess, figure that ship out because my motherfucking 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:42.600 confused over here. Sorry for the party mouth. I know 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:46.240 it's early, but before I go into details, I must say, bitch, 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.720 I love you like a motherfucker, like you're my inspiration, 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:53.720 my motivation and I'm an upcoming influenca entertaining myself. Anyways, 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:55.440 No free Pomo. I know you don't play that ship, 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.920 but I tatd this girl in high schoo and she 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:05.240 wasn't gay. You know, just most gay girls just feel 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.440 like they can get any straight girl they want, no 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.319 matter what, that they can turn the bitch out like 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.760 girls staying your motherfucking lane and keep it pushing, like 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:16.000 I learned my lesson. I respect my motherfucking caramel. So 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:19.000 any who, everybody just knew I couldn't get her. But 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.120 it's like I made that ship a motherfucking go I'm 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:24.000 gonna get this bitch like we'll be making that ship goes. 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.520 I'm gonna get her. I'm gonna get her like knowing 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.440 that bitch may not be that interested for real, but 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:29.959 we're gonna make you that interested for it. We don't 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.480 give an especially to me and motherfucking Sagittarius, I don't 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:35.560 like anyways, that's the all me. We talked about it. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:39.200 Oh me now anyway, So I've grown a lot, and 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:43.840 she played softball, so I became the softball manager just 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:48.160 so I could get closer to her and her behold, 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:51.560 believe it, her motherfucking not, they did, motherfucking words. Yeah, 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:54.360 I got I got her at softball practice. I would 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.080 mess with her a lot, and then I was sitting 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:59.120 next to her on the bus for the softball trips. 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.120 I remember one time she was on the phone with 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.520 her mom and I thought she was on the phone 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.680 with her boyfriend. So I hung that ship up, hung 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.520 up in the mama motherfucking face, and I did not 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:12.120 give no fuss, even when I found out that was Mama, 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.240 because bitch, I'm sitting in the seat talking to you. 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:17.960 I want your undivided attention her mom. And that's another 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:20.400 little issue I had, like when we're talking, give me 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:24.160 your undivided attention. And this bitch would just get distracted 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.480 anytime I talked to her and be on her phone, 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.079 be doing this that in the third like, I want 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:30.720 your undivided attention because I'm gonna give it to you you 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.280 when you're talking. So I do others as I want done. 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:35.440 Unto me, it's what people don't understand and the thing 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.320 that we call life. So we're gonna move on, and 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.880 um we grew closer as the days went on. Of 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.160 course I kept messing with her. You know that little 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:49.440 play fighting ship turns into um that fucking ship. Yeah, yeah, 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:54.919 I know you were doing that that girl. So one 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.960 day I went over to her house for the first 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.320 time to help her take her hair out. I ready 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:01.639 to do what the fun was going to go to out? Bitch. 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:03.600 I wasn't trying to go take the motherfucking hair out. 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:05.520 But that's the way. That's the coach. You get your 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:09.000 foot and the motherfucking do. So that's what I did. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.440 Like the game has played, you already know Mama ain't 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.560 gonna care about a bitch coming over. So Boom went 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.720 over and helped her take her out. You know, we played, 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.040 and the playing were led to other things and that 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:25.480 was the night that baby was mine. After that, it 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.440 was over. It was raps. Now, let me tell you 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:33.400 where I sucked up. I expected her to be that 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:37.560 gay girlfriend as soon as we got into the relationship. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.520 By me being gay, I expected her to pick up 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:43.760 on the gay things that I did to her and 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:48.400 expected her to do them back to me. That was 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:53.640 the huge issue of the whole relationship that made us 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:56.440 turn toxic. And I will admit that it was my 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:00.240 fault and take my accountability on it. It's like, when 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.520 she didn't do what I wanted and she wasn't giving 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.480 me the pleasure that I wanted, I want to got 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:11.040 that pleasure and things from outside parties and code for cheating. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.760 Once that started happening, I started going to outside parties. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:19.240 And that's really really when things started getting bad. And 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:22.599 you know, I stay with her. I loved her, but 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:25.640 I stay with her just because, first of all, when 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:30.359 she first found out. She came back. And that's the 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:34.680 problem that I feel like us as women have to 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:38.200 stop doing so these men don't be so comfortable to 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.880 do what they're do. We have too many women out 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:44.800 here that settle and just accept because they feel like 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.920 they won't find no one that will love them for them, 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:51.240 or that they're not worth it, they're not enough. And 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.800 when we do things like that, we or men or 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:57.400 whoever the other motherfucker party is he she adien. When 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.840 we do things like that, we don't realize that we 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:04.960 bringing our partner self esteem down and making them feel like, well, 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:09.520 what am I doing wrong? So she came back to 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:12.520 me the first time and she stayed. It was like 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:16.240 that was go for me, okay, ship, she ain't gonna leave, 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:19.480 She's gonna just come back. So I kept doing it. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.240 And I'm not saying it was the right thing to do. 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.200 I'm just saying my motherfucking story because baby, I've grown, 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:29.680 Like I said, I accept my karma were and take 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:34.320 forward responsibility because baby, bitch, I'm motherfucking miserable. Okay, Okay, 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:38.279 So um, mind you has been three years. Oh I 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.200 know you do that sound a fake to? Yeah? The 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.840 relationship was just very toxic because throughout the relationship all 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.800 I did was cheap get that pleasure from those outside parties, 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.520 and she returned. Now, I'm not trying to make her 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.160 seem like no weak bitch, but that's what love do 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:56.719 to you. And sad to say, you know, we we 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:01.880 can't control temptation and comfortability. Sometimes we can't, but when 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.719 it's breaking point, this ship breaking point, and we did 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:08.200 eventually get to that breaking point. Um. I also had 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:12.000 a little temperate mother problem. I would get mad a lot. 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:16.240 I'm angry up until this day. I'm angry a whole 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:19.640 another story for another day. Um, dealing with family stuff 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.200 like with my father, I'm angry. So it caused me 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:25.320 to be angry and a lot of situations that didn't 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:27.920 need it to be and I would feel attacked all 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:32.039 the time when necessarily I wasn't always being attacked. So 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.400 with all of that, and the way that she was 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.200 raised and growing up and the things that she was 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:42.000 going through, it just didn't work. We both were going 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.760 through our own little separate situations and didn't realize that 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.880 we just needed to be a part and figure out 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.919 our situations instead of trying to do it together. It 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:55.159 wasn't working because we were so comfortable. But like I said, 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:59.559 we eventually did get to that breaking point and after 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:05.159 actually four years of being together, we broke up, and 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:09.360 that was about three years ago, and we both haven't 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:14.360 found anyone. We're still single and we're still friends to 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:17.960 this day. And it took us a while to get 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:21.200 to the point where we could be just friends. Of course, 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:24.400 because of everything that we've been through the history. It's hard, 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:27.400 you know, for couples to be friends afterwards. But if 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.480 you and that other party can agree to and come 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.880 to common mature grounds, then it can work. It just 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.040 depends on you and that other party. So it took 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:39.800 us three years to this day to get that together 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.520 because you know, I was the one that cheated, so 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.760 I was the one that felt the guilt and was 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:49.840 trying to get back with her while all alone. She 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.760 had moved on from the relationship from the first time 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:56.480 that I cheated. In reality, she was just there because 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.600 of comfort and of course she loved me, but the 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.280 relation ship was done the first time I cheated. All 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.440 trust was gone. And that's what others don't realize either. 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.280 So yes, just the mess that I need you to 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:12.000 help me figure out is why am I still single? 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:17.040 Why I feel like I've grown a whole heap of 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:21.600 motherfucking lot from being in the relationship with her. I 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.160 learned a lot. I learned what to do and what 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.800 not to do in a relationship, and not just I 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.240 honestly feel like and know for a fact that I 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:32.680 wouldn't ever in my life cheat on another person again, 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.280 like I really truly loved her, And of course you 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.520 don't realize that until after the fact. And I would 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:40.880 never ever want to see the person that I love 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:45.360 hurt and cry and knowing that I was the pain 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.400 and the reason. The after effects of all of that 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.240 is terrible and it's draining, and it's stressful in this depression, 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.600 and it's your mental health. You fucking wait. At that point, 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.000 I loasked about thirty pounds went from two hundred to 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:01.439 one sixty dealing with that after the fact of us 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:06.360 being uh not together anymore. So it was definitely, um, 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:11.000 it was a lot. And now I'm just trying to 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.440 figure out why am I still single? Like I said, 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:17.280 it's been three years and I still like I haven't 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.320 found no wine. I feel like I've grown a lot. 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:23.920 I've changed a lot. My whole life perspective has changed, 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:26.480 just with experience and everything I've been through. I grew 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:30.160 the funk up and it's like I've talked to females 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.760 since I've been with her, but it's like all of 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:36.400 it ends up not working out. Like the people I've tried. 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:39.360 This craziest funck be tried. I tried to motherfucker that 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:44.359 got shot, a motherfucker that's Bob Polar, motherfucker that motherfucker 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.160 tell me I'm too aggressive. And I had like a 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.040 nigga too much. And there were the ones that's really 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:52.720 fucked up in the head. They had secret kids on 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:56.920 the way and ship like I don't know. It's just confusing, 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.079 like why can't I find find love? And I don't know. 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:05.240 I feel like maybe I have to find myself first 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:09.840 before I find love or you know, figure out my 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:15.000 life and who I am as influencer, actress, brand ambassador, model, 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:20.000 public figure, motivational speaker, I do it all, most tolerant female, 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.600 and I just feel like because I'm on maybe my 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:27.280 little come up, then maybe that's the reason why I 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.840 haven't found no one, because you know, it gets lonely 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.240 when you're great and when you're meant to be successful 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.640 or a star in life, it gets lonely. And I 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:38.400 was listening to pretty v Well, just think about what 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.800 she said the other day actually, um, when we were 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.320 at the Revote summing in Atlanta, I know you were 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:45.280 there for a while now to a girl I love 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:50.160 like that, but yeah, she just mentioned that it gets 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.680 lonely on this journey. But you know you're gonna have 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.080 anxiety and you're gonna go through ship, but don't let 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.160 that determine you or be your whole life. And it's 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.319 just of course it's hard as ship, like as hard 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.280 as funk. I really be lonely as fun. And I 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.920 would go back and take certain people just because of 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:08.280 how lonely I am. Like that's another thing about us 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:12.840 as the human fucking population, Like we really would go 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.720 back and put up with the motherfucker that maybe put 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.439 our put their hands on us, cheated or made anything 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.520 that did anything wrong and just deal with them just 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.720 because of us being bored. And that that's another generational 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:30.760 cycle or so sociality. I don't know, social thing that 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.120 we have to break as a whole, Like it's not 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.320 a good thing. So yes, like Jess, I just I 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.600 just need help. I don't understand why I'm still singing 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.200 my doing something wrong. Like I talked to these different 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.640 girls and um, it's like it just never works out, 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:49.000 like our personalities just like I expect. They made me 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.240 feel like I'd be expecting too much, Like I'm not 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.520 from the lower my standards bitch. No, like I don't 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.520 be it, don't be too much. I just want undivided attention. 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.200 I want the motherfucker to show me that care. I 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.400 want the motherfucking rolls pedals in the hotel. I want 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.960 fucking all the little cute ship of flowers. I've never 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.520 received flowers like that's and that's a lot of things 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:13.040 that I always did in my last relationship that wasn't 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:16.160 necessarily always done to me as well, Like I don't 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:20.440 feel like my last relationship really was at one emotionally 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:26.600 affectionately wise like at all. And yeah, like I'm not 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.679 lowering my standards. I just I need motherfucker's to to 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:32.120 get right. But maybe I'm just happy to find my 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.160 person yet I don't know. And I'm still young. I'm 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.480 twenty three, so maybe that's another thing. I don't need 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.360 to be worrying about this because another thing that I 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:43.160 realized is when I stopped worrying about bitches, my life 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:46.960 gets better and my blessings come better and all of 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.480 that good stuff. So, yes, Jess, I really hope you 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:51.560 listen to this. I can't wait. I love you, boo, 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:55.840 and that's the end of my motherfucker's story period. Hold up, 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:57.800 Hold up, I know the ship getting good, But listen 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.760 to just a couple of seconds of a commercial with 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:04.560 your love me. You'll listen, Okay, So I love you too. 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.920 I want to tell you you have kept me entertained 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:12.199 throughout this whole ordeal, this whole story, from beginning to end, 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:16.800 and I do see a motherfucking future and stand up 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.760 for you, because child, you know how to tell a 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:23.080 story comical. Okay, all right, let's get down to some 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.800 serious ship. It's a couple of things. First of all, 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:27.880 you being twenty three, Yes, you are too young to 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.560 be worried about this ship right now, especially when you 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.120 want your come up. I wouldn't put little in front 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.040 of it, because it ain't nothing little about to come up. 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:36.720 You know what I'm saying. You're you're gonna be wait, 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.720 further than you ever expected to be. You're very charismatic, 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:45.280 so I definitely get how you charm girls, but you 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:49.440 also are controlling. I hear it. You're you're very controlling, bitch. 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.199 You wanted this girl to get off the phone with 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.800 how my fucking mother to talk to you? How mother 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:56.880 could have been drowning? How mother? I don't know why 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.199 she would be on the phone if she was drowning, 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.160 But you get what the funk I'm saying. Is that 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.160 what I'm saying, that's a mother you thought she was 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:05.800 talking to. If I'm remembering right, you said that you 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:07.720 thought that she was talking to a guy at first, 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.679 or a girl or whatever. She was talking to her mom, 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:12.200 And you was like, I don't give a funk, even 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.360 if when even when I found out it was her mother, 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:16.160 I didn't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying. 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.280 How the funk would you feel if your mom was 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:20.640 on the phone with you? And the bitch was like, 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:22.600 I don't give a funk about your mother, Get all 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.720 that motherfucking phone and talk to me. Give me, first 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:28.240 of all, you give me female Ike Turner, if if 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:31.000 you asked me, you know what I mean? And it's 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.600 a couple of control of things that you've got going on. 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.440 But I also noticed that you also brought up your 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.680 dad as well, so you're still upset. You've got a 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:40.880 lot of animosity with a lot of family ship going on. 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.240 That could be where you're controlling issues stem from. That 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:47.320 could be where your anger issues stem from. Straight up, 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.000 you already said it. You know what I mean. You 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.720 may need therapy for a lot of things. You may, also, 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:56.200 like you hinted towards, need to find yourself and figure 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.960 out who you are and what exactly you require to 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.680 even be loved. Because I think that attention, that undivided 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.640 attention that you long for so much for one person. 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:07.840 I think you wanted that from your father. I think 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:10.600 you probably wanted that from like your parents growing up. 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.560 You didn't really speak on your mom. But I think 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.480 what we do as human beings we lack, we go 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:23.040 without these basics, like these essentials for so long. Is 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.200 now that we're adults and we grow up and we 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.640 try to love and we try to be intimate and 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:33.480 have these relationships that we don't realize that we lack 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.560 until we are in love with somebody and we realize 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.480 that we don't have something that we should have been 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.800 had before we jumped in a relationship, so you try 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.880 to blame it on other people. I don't think you 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.000 should lower your standards, no, but I think you should 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.000 find who you are. Your standards are not. The problem 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.360 is what you require. You require too much from a female, 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.920 you do, and then too fast. Girl. You became a 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.280 softball coach to get close to this bitch and she 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.200 wouldn't even get That was a lesson that you learned. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.560 You said it at the beginning. You can't turn every 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.720 straight bitch all the way gay. You can't do that. 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:10.640 I was in love with a female before, but I 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:14.080 never touched or looked at another female after her. But 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.520 that female couldn't make me gay. I just liked her. 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.040 I knew I still wanted some day. I knew I 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.400 still wanted to explore the dating pool of men. I 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.160 just was obsessed with this one girl. I didn't want 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:28.720 no more pussy after that, I didn't. I didn't even 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:30.840 want her pussy. She wanted mine, and she got that 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:34.120 mothercker too. But after that, it was no more of that. 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:38.640 You understand what I'm saying. So when you say I 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:43.000 felt like my last relationship, I wasn't reciprocated. Yeah, because 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.040 she wasn't gay. She wasn't able to give you what 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:48.200 you gave her. You went in already knowing your sexuality. 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.360 She didn't know. She was curious, bi, curious, a little 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.560 bit gay, lot of gay whatever. She wasn't as far 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.080 into it as you was. She didn't know where her 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.720 sexual preference was. She was just trying to ship she 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:02.240 and up liking it, but not liking it enough to 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:06.040 be gay. That's why I think she didn't give you 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:08.920 what you wanted her to give you. She didn't give 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:13.119 you everything that you gave her, you know, in a 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.120 sense of just being in a relationship with her. Now 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:17.919 we got a commercial, and if you click off of 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.520 this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.840 why are you still single? You want me to tell 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:28.400 you why you're still single? You're twenty three, You don't 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.600 know who you are yet, you still got issues to 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.720 resolve that are deeply rooted, and you can't hold nobody 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.080 else accountable for what the funk you had going on. 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:39.520 You don't even know what you got going on. You 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.440 understand what I'm saying. I think you need to see 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.160 a therapist. I think you have such a big personality 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.520 and you're so passionate about this ship. You need to 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.639 do it carefully. You're so passionate about being with someone. 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.360 You need to be careful. You need to do it right. 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.000 You said somebody told you that you back like a nigga. 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.479 You do. That's not necessarily bad, but you do. I 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.119 think you need to focus on yourself. You're twenty three, 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.600 give yourself, realistically until seven to be in another relationship. 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.400 I know you don't want to hear that ship that's 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.399 four years away, you know, from now. But I think 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.840 the greater good in all this is that you're on 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.040 a come up and you don't have time for distractions. 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.440 You just said it at the end of this message. 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:24.920 You said, when I focus on bitches, I'm distracted or no, 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:29.920 no, no no, verbatimly, you said, when I ain't focusing on bitches, 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:32.960 when my mind ain't on bitches, I do so much 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.880 better in life and all of that ship. Don't focus 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:39.680 on bitches, as you would say, don't focus on women, 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:42.480 don't focus on a relationship. But if you really really 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.000 tired of being lonely and you don't want to just 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.520 I'm not saying you don't. You don't date. You don't 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:49.800 have to be in a relationship. Dating and being in 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:52.520 a relationship is something totally different. But I feel like 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.240 you attach yourself very quickly to a person too. Now 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:59.679 that's your girlfriend. No, you don't have to jump in 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:02.000 a re ationship with everybody you date. That's why it's 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:05.399 called dating until you realize that you don't want to 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.000 be without this person. But you can't feel like that 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.359 until you know a person in and out. You got me, 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:16.119 So I think you should focus on yourself and date. 0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:19.639 Go to new places. If you keep meeting people the 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.639 same places, don't go to them places to meet people. 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:27.119 You're attracting people. That's getting shot. Uh, that's hiding kids. 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.160 You know, all that type of ship whatever, everybody's gonna 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:32.960 have something with them. You got shipped with you. But 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.600 that's why you need to work on that. Nobody is 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:38.199 ever gonna be fully healed, Nobody is ever gonna be 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:42.160 perfect or you know held. You know why, because life 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.159 goes on every day is new ship that happens. You 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.960 run into new trauma, new obstacles, you know what I'm saying, 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:50.280 New fights, all that type of ship. You run into 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.560 that type of stuff. So we're constantly healing and evolving 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:57.200 all the time. New traumas are gonna happen. And where 0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:00.400 you're going in the lane you're in this industry, Oh yeah, 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.840 you're gonna run into some obstacles. So you're gonna be 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:06.400 forever healing. You're gonna forever be a work in progress. 0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:08.560 But you've got a lot of fighting you. You're very passionate. 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.919 I can tell when you love, you love hard. So 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:14.000 don't waste that. Save it for the right person. But 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:16.280 get yourself right, man, and check back in with me. 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:18.919 I love you too. She didn't took up the whole 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.840 goddamn episode. I'm gonna be her ass, But I really 0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:26.760 really do appreciate that story because these are the stories 0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:29.199 that that a lot of people feel like they're alone, 0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:31.479 and a lot of people have these issues where they 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:33.560 feel lonely. They don't want to be alone, but they 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.600 have so much traumatic stress and and they have depression, 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:40.080 They suffer with anxiety and ship like that because they 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:42.920 have deeply rooted issues that they haven't even that they 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:46.560 haven't even accepted about themselves. Like you know, you see 0:20:46.640 --> 0:20:50.280 this girl, she has a habit of well, had a 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:55.760 habit of blaming everybody else for her being single. No 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:59.399 no no, or blaming everybody else for why they can't 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:03.600 meet her requirements or her standards and and and her 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:07.120 practices and ship like no, no, no, no, we can't 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.080 have a list of demands. We can't have a list 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:12.600 of demands. And we don't even know what the funk 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:16.800 we want. We ain't even altogether, but we're not all together. 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:20.280 My brother Daisy, who opens up for me, he's a comedian. 0:21:20.320 --> 0:21:23.479