WEBVTT - A Dish Best Served in Antarctica 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:03.800 Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Ar 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:08.440 What's up, Elizabeth Dutton? Nothing much, just chilling out. You 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:12.360 know it's ridiculous. Oh man, I do. I came across 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:14.120 something that I wanted to tell you about this. Have 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:19.480 you ever heard of tyromancy or a tyromancer? No, so, 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:22.919 a tyromancer is not somebody who romances people from Thailand. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:27.040 A tyro ancer is somebody who divines the future by 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:32.120 staring at cheese. I swear this is a real thing. 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:34.159 I didn't make this up. This isn't like me up, 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:37.400 come up with the career you want. I'm like, okay, 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:40.440 this is the job I see for me. No, Honestly, 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:43.200 in the Middle Ages, people would gaze at their cheese 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:45.600 and they would try to spy the future in the 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:48.080 cheddar like it was a crystal ball, like I saw 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:49.839 to god. They would do this. But now you may 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:52.239 be imagining, like, well, zeron, what do you mean they 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:54.480 would stare at their cheese like just on their plate. No, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.600 they would go to like specialists, or they themselves would 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.600 do little ritualistic things like oh, I'm going to write 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.720 the names of all my bows on some cheese, and 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.600 whichever piece molds first is the one I'm supposed to 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:09.040 be with interesting middle aged maidens would do. Yeah. Yeah, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:13.399 it's letting the elements present themselves as And alsolet me 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:14.920 think about it. If you're going to be like picking 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:20.560 a man, what better way than where growth occurs long 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:22.720 as the mold. Like, it's like, this is going to 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:27.640 be the con future that I expect now. Anyway, I 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:29.679 thought using a growth of mold defined a husband was 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:31.640 just brilliant. And that's how I want to be a 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.160 tyrom aanswer so I can help the love Lauren too, Well, 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:36.280 go get yourself a brick of cheese. It's one of 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:38.920 the cheapest futures I can imagine for yourselves. Really, is 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:43.920 that is ridiculous? Well done? You know what else is ridiculous? No, 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:47.680 I don't getting harassed by a coworker at fifty below zero. 0:01:48.080 --> 0:02:11.359 Oh god, this is ridiculous. Crime A podcast about absurd 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:17.040 and outrageous capers, heists, cons it's always murder free and 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:22.480 one ridiculous. Oh you damn right, Saren, do you like 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:25.640 cold weather? That's like asking a Floridian if they like 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:30.280 rational thoughts. No, obviously you don't. I live in California 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.160 in Oakland I hate cold weather. The only way I 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:34.920 want to be cold is if I'm dipped in the 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.320 Pacific and I'm about to be standing on a board. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.440 That's the way I want to be cold. Other than that, 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:42.040 the payoff is never worth it. Now I don't I 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:46.880 don't really mind the cold, but like for extended periods 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:48.920 of time, it gets to me like, what do you mean, 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.280 like if you're there for like months, Well, and it's 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:53.400 more like I don't. I don't like cold and damp. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.160 I've never lived anywhere where it's really really cold. You 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:58.600 lived in Scotland, Yeah it was cold and damp. It 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.919 wasn't like below zero, just the freezing versus cold. Yeah, 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:05.280 it just hovered around the freezing point but was damp 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.440 and so you just felt it like in your bones. 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.960 I don't have those distinctions of cold for me. Starts 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:16.320 at and everything below that is freezing. Well, when I 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:19.720 was a college English instructor, I liked teaching Jack London's 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:22.560 to build a fire. Oh yeah, I would do that 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:26.360 when it was super hot outside, because you know, it 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:30.840 makes you feel cold and volah blah blah cold it 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:32.760 down and the summertime, I didn't want to teach it 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.920 in the spring semester that started in January, because then, 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:38.880 you know it's cold outside. I guess it would get 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.600 somewhat cold in the south, and definitely at least when 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.800 I was a boy. Relative for me, you know, people 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.640 up in like Minnesota are going to just scoff. But 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:51.160 I thought it was cold under exactly exactly, but I 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.160 would I would teach to build a fire, and the 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.920 descriptions in that are so vivid. I still remember the matches. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.040 It's a detailed account of what it's like to freeze 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:04.360 to death in essence spoiler alert, and do it through frustration. 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:09.160 It's like the slowest agonizing freeze to death. I the 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.960 students weren't reading the story, but I was. I just 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:17.400 signed it. You wouldn't read it, Oh yeah, every semester, 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.400 everything I assigned i'd read because they weren't going to 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:25.400 someone's going to read this. Um. But so I would 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.120 think a lot about people going up to the Yukon 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:32.719 at the time, and um, you know, putting aside all 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.359 of their discomforts and trekking up there, think in mind 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.359 too that uh, when people were going up to the 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.360 Yukon in the time of Jack London, they didn't have 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:46.839 gortex like leather and wool wolves. There's not like an 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:50.800 old dog and so. But but yet people will still 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.039 do it. They have this drive. I'm in awe of 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:57.000 that because I like to stay comfortable. I'm built for comfort, 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:00.520 not for speed. That's just not me. People who go 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:04.839 and like trek across the desert or zaren people who 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:09.880 go to Antarctica. No, I got to the subject. But 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.720 those people are generally scientists, so they have that extra things. 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.159 It's not just like people who go to like the Sahara, 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:19.719 but they're not always scientists. That's true. Yeah, I'm telling 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.320 you this story today about Antarctica because we're at the 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:26.560 tail end of a pretty severe heat wave here in Oakland, California. 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.839 Your old tricks totally. I need to get into a 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:33.080 mentally chill place. So I started looking around, like what's 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:38.960 cold Altarctica? I typed into Google help what is cold melting? 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:40.720 To show you a picture of iced tea, and then 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:47.799 Antarctica iced tea exactly not to drink. So what's cooler 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.720 than cold? I want to talk to you about Antarctica. 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:54.000 Come for the cool weather, stay for the ridiculousness. Into 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:59.680 this that's the new Antarctica travel like slogan for for 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:03.520 is Antarctica. I know a lot of people dream about 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.920 visiting Antarctica. I know people who have done it. Yeah, 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.279 and they're all stoked on it and they want to 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.279 tell you all about it. But isn't it like I know, 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:11.920 somebody went there and they did it because they could 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.040 run a marathon on all seven continents. It seems like 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:15.800 people always going there to get the seven Oh it's 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:20.240 totally the seventh continent. Yeah. Um. There are people though 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:25.479 that actually work there, and unless that's your life stream, 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:27.440 I feel like it's a bummer job. And these like 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.680 penguin husbands, like the people who like shepherd penguins. No, 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.560 there are research stations, and there are right of course 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:41.080 Antarctica research stations. I'm like research and penguins. What's the 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.120 what's it? The most bummer job you've ever had? Oh? God, 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.080 I've had some bummer jobs, so give me a second. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:50.279 Oh yeah, I know this one for sure. When I 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.440 was Third Team, I worked in an old folks home 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:56.480 as a basically a waiter bus boy. And it was 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.279 not a bummer because it's like, oh I was a 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.359 waiter or was a bus boy, I didn't mind that stuff. 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.120 I don't mind dishes, I don't mind hard work. None 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:03.560 of that bothered me. It was the fact that I 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.440 got really close to all the people at this old 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:07.160 folks home and then I would go to my next 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:10.560 shift and one of them would be dead and oh, man, 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.640 Steve died really last week and I'm like thirteen, So like, 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:15.720 I'm not used to death. I'm not. And I'm really 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:17.880 like really charmed by these people because they're at the 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:19.480 end of their life and so they're really honest with 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:21.320 me and they want to impart messages. And also a 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:23.440 bunch of them, like one of them was this old 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.600 radio show personality, and so like I loved old radio shows. 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.000 I'm asking them about people. I'm like, oh, what is 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:30.640 so and so, Like did you ever work with so 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:32.640 and so? And they're like into it and they know 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:34.520 these people, so we're like bonded and I'm like this 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:35.840 is great. And then i go back a week later 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.160 and they're dead and I'm like come home crying. My 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:41.400 Mom's like, you know what, you might need to find 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:43.840 a new job. And so then I became like a 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:47.360 paper boy and that was much better for me. This 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:51.200 is the most bummer job I've ever imagined. My bummer 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:54.080 job pales in comparison. I had to work, it had to. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.480 It wasn't like forced on me. I chose to work 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.920 one summer in college at UM, the like Ace hard 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.800 Our Home store. Oh good job. And yeah, I had 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:04.600 a couple of jobs that summer, just trying to like 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:09.440 stay alive and well, like you know, you just get 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.000 cobbled together a bunch of part time jobs. It was 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:13.960 life tough on the streets for you back then. Do 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:18.200 you need Yes, it was so hard trying to make 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:21.880 your eight I was, and uh so. The Ace Hardware 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.600 Home Store UM was run by this manager guy who 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:30.080 was really into renfairs and he wore really tight black 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:35.360 jeans and cowboy boots and had feathered red hair. And 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.120 he would we had to talk to him as his 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:42.160 ren fair renaissance fair persona get out at work. Yeah, 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.080 he was like he brought When you call him, like 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:49.360 you know, Melvin or whatever, he was like sur feather Bottom, 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.520 like please no call me the end. So we would say, 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.160 sir feather Bottom, I've got a load that came in. 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.840 We had shipe like tag all these for prices like 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:00.920 you know, carry on, like you know, I'd be there 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.600 like tagging, can I sally forth to take my break, 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:07.560 Sir feather Bottom, maybe like tagging the prices on things, 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:11.160 and he'd walk by, Yes, well, carry on and like 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.720 tut tut and and it was just it was horrible. 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.480 It was that sounds like ye old bummer. Yeah, and 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.400 I had I had like really bright pink hair back then, 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.080 and I got a lot of abuse from customers about it. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:28.800 When lady came in and told me I look trashy. Trashy, yeah, 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:32.840 with pink hair, right, I wouldn't expect that, would expect 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:34.760 a lot of things that she could have insulted you with. 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.120 The trashy was not what I expected. That's usually more 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:39.800 like the rensed out blonde, like, oh you look trashy 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.920 with like, you know, platinum hair, but like pink hair, 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:43.920 it's more like you look fun. Well. I looked at 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.719 her and I said, I'm rubber your glue, and then 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:52.040 I cut her credit card in half. So that was 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:56.400 my summer at ACE, only less than one summer. Back 0:09:56.440 --> 0:10:02.200 to antarct Um. There are scientists, obviously who dream of 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:06.880 working and on Antarctica. And if we say on Antarctica, 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:10.240 but we don't say like on Europe. Well, it's like 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.880 the way we think like an island. Yes, so I 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:14.319 think if we think of it as being like you're 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:19.080 on the island becomes continental. You stop. So we'll say 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:22.559 in Antarctica, let's you say like with Antarctica. They want 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.160 to be one with Antarctica, and they think that they're 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:29.640 totally prepared for these brutal conditions, the isolations, um, the 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:35.520 isolations in the such various isolations one may experience. There 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:39.959 are forty five active permanent research stations there and then 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:43.080 another fifty seasonal basis. There's a lot of people. In 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.720 the wintertime, it's a thousand, and it gets up. The 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:50.360 population in Antarctica gets to around four thousand in the summertime. UM. 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:54.720 And because there are humans on Antarctica, there's crime. The 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.400 two do go together. That's why we're here. That's one 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.480 hand washing the other than thieving from the other hand. Oh, 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.760 there's been a murder, get out, but we're not talking 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:08.080 about that today, dude. That's our vow our promise. A 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:11.800 few cases of arson, probably just to stay warm. A 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:17.040 mysterious death that seemed a little fishy, A melee involving 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:21.040 some cooks that ended up with a hammer attack. Yeah, 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.120 and then an axe fight over a chess match get 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.679 out that resulted in chess being banned at Russian stations. 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.080 I didn't want to interrupt you, but I was like, 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.280 this has to be Russians. You said, ax and chess match. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:37.280 I'm betting on Russian scientists, right. So one of those 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:41.520 Russian stations is Bellingshausen station. That doesn't sound very Russian, 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:44.319 now it doesn't. Belling did they steal this one? They're like, hey, Germans, 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:48.600 look over there. Basically, basically we got gems. I don't 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:51.120 know why they sounds so German. It was named after 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:57.280 the famous YouTuber Victor Bellingshausen. Of course, get old vic 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:00.839 um and so at that that's the location of Antarctica's 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:05.440 most ridiculous crime. So yeah, we're not even talking acts attack. 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:11.920 This is even more we're not belling Shausen is one 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.959 of the o G Soviet stations, founded in nineteen sixty eight. 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.240 They have a church there. They have a church, yeah, 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:24.640 Trinity Church, Eastern Orthodox. Right, it's the only permanently staffed 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:30.080 Eastern Orthodox Church staff. Yeah, two priests work there. They 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:34.040 take turns. Okay, I get it. They need a priest, 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.960 they need they need two priests. I need a young 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.800 priest to do an exorcism, a vice priest. He's a 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:45.320 runner up because the first runner up happened. We got up. 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:47.400 Well they can't, you know, I don't know how many masses. 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:53.600 The church is adorable, by the way, Yeah, I built it. 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:57.640 It was preassembled in Siberia from cedar and larch. Did 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:02.920 you google to this church? No? Maybe maybe I google 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:07.160 tour everything. Uh So, anyway, it's not really that big, 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.240 and it still has three small onion domes. So this 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.400 little onion dome church. The icons inside are all hand painted, 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.880 and the services are like straight up Eastern Orthodox each 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:28.160 week frankincense pageantry. Whatnot? This and the vats um. You 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.320 don't smell wood in antarctica. This is not a single 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.080 just me personally. You don't smell wood? Seven? Are you 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:40.600 hypnotizing me right now? Your sense of smell is gone? Um? Well, no, 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:44.160 there are in the Antarctic, and go I don't smell 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.600 trees like you have covid st um. Hello, ding dong, 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.240 there are no trees in antarctica. Oh right, this isn't 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.840 like one of those. I don't smell candles. Yeah, yeah, 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:56.040 when you go, I'm just trying to keep up, and 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.080 I don't smell what it means do you? Saron? And 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:02.000 you the universe personal you people don't smell wood and 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.400 antarctic because there is none. And so this is like 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.360 a little escape going into this church to huff the wood. 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:13.160 Smell really for the wood, for the wood and some Jesus, 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.880 there's nothing wrong with that. Don't judge. They've had a 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:23.840 wedding there. They had a log married chunk of frankincense. 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.800 It was beautiful. No, some dude from a Peruvian base. 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:31.680 He married the daughter of a Russian engineer. The Russian 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:33.760 engineer brought his daughter like a bring your daughter to 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:37.400 work island. He lost a bet, I gotta take one 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:38.840 of my kids. I don't know. I don't know what 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:42.320 happened with that. Here's another fun fact. Are you familiar 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:47.480 with the tattoo artist Lyle Tuttle. Oh yeah, crocodile Lyle. Yeah, 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.280 I'm not. He's a famous or was a famous tattoo artist. 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.760 His tattoo was his signature tattoo. Total showman. You're telling 0:14:56.800 --> 0:15:00.720 me his signature tattoo was his own signature, so he 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:06.840 set up a tattoo station in Antarctica. He tattooed his 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.960 autograph on Dr Anna Felicity Freedman so that he could 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.720 be the first person to tattoo on all seven continents. 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.600 Like you're saying, this is the only reason to go yes, 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.920 So he just did the old signature autograph tattoo, then 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:21.760 got on a polar bear and bounced yep, like shot 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.280 off and polar bears down there that's north right now. 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:28.280 Penguin He had like a sled dog team of penguins. 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:35.440 So yeah, so he going really waddling down the ice. 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:41.480 You can walk faster than your sled. Sorry, I'm sorry anyway, 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:46.280 Lyle Tuttle signature tattoo. So there you go. That's another 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.000 fun fact. Here's one more. Okay, I don't care if 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.520 I going to take it, but go on. Did you 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:56.920 know that Metallica, I'm gonna need a warning. Metallica they 0:15:56.960 --> 0:16:01.800 gave tattoos. They played in what they played? What is 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:05.440 this like an MTV stunt? Were like we put the world. 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:08.560 So there were ten winners of a contest who arrived 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.960 in Antarctica by a cruise ship and they got to 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:15.960 go to a Metallica concert at the neighboring Argentine base. 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:20.840 So did the Argentine base like hire Metallica in this contest, 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.040 like hey, can we get involved with They were like 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:29.440 ringing Metallica, like Metallica speaking like hey, okay, we're in Antarctica, 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:33.360 we're freezing, we need hot metal and they're like, you're 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:36.200 right on and then they lit them cells on fire. 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:40.680 I'm so sorry about that. Um okay, so they built 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:44.240 they did this performance under a special dome. I am 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.160 not making this up like a biodome. Yes, Like Lars 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:48.920 is like I must have a biodome or I'm not 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.000 going to play. You have to hear my drums. They 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.760 all turned mossy. I feel like I'm making this up, 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.480 but I know I'm feel like you're making it up 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:58.440 to They were under a special dome. The audience listened 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:05.520 to music on headphone. Why because they didn't want to 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.720 disturb the local wildlife. The penguins were like not. The 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:13.480 penguins were Megadeth fans and they didn't like matter hardcore. 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:18.959 Dave with Daintreethers. Yeah, so so that's the thing. They 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:24.080 were headphones. They haven't listened to Metallica since Cliff left. Yeah, left. 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:29.359 I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying to be I 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.320 don't laugh. Um okay. So then but after the concert, 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.760 the boys went next door to Billinghaus and to say hi, 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:43.480 the boys in metallicata yeah Metallica, Hey it is And 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:49.399 then they left. Um, so back to ridiculous. I swear 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.160 to god, there's a crime in here, somewhere, these evolving 0:17:52.240 --> 0:18:00.080 kind of criminal. Let's take a break, we return. I 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:24.600 promise you I'm going to start talking about crying sar oh, hey, 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:28.119 what's up? Elizabeth's over thinking about Metallica? Well, I have 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:31.240 crime for you. I promised it. Okay, good, thank god. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:37.840 First things first, I need you to close your eyes, yes, Zaren, 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:42.679 I want you to picture it. M you're feeling a 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:48.760 little queasy. Is Metallica standing over me? Well, you've been 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:52.240 ship and you're all bundled up in your new parka 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:54.720 that you just your mom got you, and you have 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:57.520 that feeling of being a little overheated, but it's also 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:01.960 super cold outside. You're getting queasy. It's like the whole 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:06.200 no winning vibe. You can't trying to stay You looked 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:08.359 at me, the winning vibe like we both know what 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.000 this means. Like you know the no winning vibe. It's 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:14.879 my my vibe, isn't the no winning vibe? So the 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:20.320 ship pulls up at a dock and it's a barren landscape. 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.400 There's some low buildings in the distance, or there are 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:27.040 some low buildings in the distance. Um, you zaren in 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.639 your new park of You've just arrived at Bellingshausen station. 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.240 Heard good things Metallica playing wants you had like stitch 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.639 cute little patches on your park of like I'm a 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.119 world explorer. For me, I'm so metal. You've got a 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:43.800 lile tuttle tattoo on you on my face. Um, it's October, 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.160 but and that means it's getting close to summer, don't 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:51.480 Southern Hemisphere back it up, Burnett. It is below freezing outside. 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.400 It's somewhere between like let's say zero and thirteen degrees fahrenheit. 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.040 Oh yeah, so sub human temperatures. I'm with you. There 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.359 are about thirt seen other people at the base with 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:04.480 you in the summer. Now the population can swell to 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:08.040 twenty five, but not yet. You're just almost there. Nope, 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:11.080 You've got the old Baker's dozen with you. So you 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:14.080 look around. You see the buildings are all single story. 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:16.800 They look like temporary buildings. Oh my gosh, what's that 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:18.919 over there? The cutest little church ever. I'm gonna put 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:22.040 it in my pocket and run away. But it's dismal. 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:26.399 Other So, the Russians, though, they refer to this station 0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:29.600 as a resort because the conditions are so much milder 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:32.960 than say it like Vostok Station, which is further inland. 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.919 The temperature there can drop to one hundred and twenty 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:39.240 below zero zeren, I love the Russian cent of humor 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:45.520 is a resort well compared dang one of those like 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:50.920 I'm not dead. So belling Shausen is on an island 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:53.199 just off the coast of the continent. So that's like 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.719 it's like a plumb assignment as far as Antarctic, I'm 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.000 taking your words forward on all this, but like still barren, 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:03.760 remember trees. I'm over here with some toothpicks in my pockets. 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:05.440 You're in there with your head stuck in the door 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.919 of the church, just huffing, huffing away. Now, there are 0:21:08.960 --> 0:21:13.520 two seasons summer and winter in Antarctica. There like awards season. 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:18.040 In summer, there's what's it called with the when um 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:22.840 their debuting shows, pilot season. Yeah, we're going to say like, oh, yes, 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:25.920 there's mud season, fire season, pilot season, and awards seasons 0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:31.200 from l A. No, when this summer? When this winter 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:35.320 on off? So the permanent daylight in the summer, which 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:38.280 would really mess with me. Permanent daylight right, like the 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:42.440 sun doesn't go down all day all night, like three 0:21:42.440 --> 0:21:45.680 months of that couple of months whatever, Yeah, a long time. 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:49.000 Four months. I don't know. I'm guessing darkness in the 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:51.040 winter and then you just have to walk around with 0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:54.960 the lantern in the snow. Um, that's April through August 0:21:55.359 --> 0:22:00.000 is darkness in winter. So four months rayah, even though 0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:02.080 it's supposed to be this resort, it's still cold and 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:05.280 dark and lonely. So you got your parka, you pull 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.080 down the scarf that your mom knit for you to 0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:10.600 let your mouth and nose out into the icy air. 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.440 I'm freezing because my mom can't nit. But go on, 0:22:14.440 --> 0:22:19.800 no offense. Um, you smell something. You smell vodka, you 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:26.080 smell metallica, you smell ridiculousness. James Hedfield, Well, something's brewing here, attention. 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:33.480 So it's October nine. I wasn't too long ago, right, 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:35.919 A lot of bad business going on up here in 0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:38.800 the States. Like I just I looked at the major 0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:41.240 news stories for that month and it was a dumpster fire. 0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:46.919 October okay, yeah, one month of four mid terms it 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:49.840 was horrific. Same with September and November that year. You know, 0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.679 let's just go back, like ten years has been horrific. Whatever. 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:56.520 I hate to tell you about the other years before 0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:59.320 the last two thousand years have been a real doozy 0:23:00.320 --> 0:23:08.200 so at bells, real top years of hard, hard road 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:14.680 belling shows in its summertime and work was in full swing. Um, 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:18.360 fourteen people there, you're the number fourteen. Two of them. 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:20.439 I'm out there my water wings in my banana hammocks. 0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:24.359 It's almost springtime. You're like, oh my god, he's got 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:29.120 snow madness. Um, so the two there's two of the fourteen, though, 0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:31.560 they're going to bring the ridiculousness now to the fourteen. 0:23:32.440 --> 0:23:36.560 So we have two main ridiculous characters. The first oleg 0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:41.480 belogos Off, the logos Off. I know I am screwing 0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:44.520 up these names. I'm not have mercy, that is all 0:23:44.560 --> 0:23:48.560 I say. Belgos Off, fifty two year old electrician and welder. 0:23:48.760 --> 0:23:53.760 Electrician welder look fifty two like. But he might be. 0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:58.440 He might be like those those Facebook people who use 0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:00.960 really old photos of themselves in their profile, I mean, 0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:04.359 like author photos of most novels. Yeah, I know. To me, 0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:07.160 you know. But here's here's the other thing about Bologozov 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:10.720 looks young pain in the pituit. Oh he looks young, 0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.720 feels old. Let me tell you this. His look is amazing. 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:17.439 He has like a really long majestic beard, like a 0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:21.000 rescipue number amber colored, amber colored. I don't know. It's 0:24:21.000 --> 0:24:24.320 because he druels cidered in his hes, got cider and 0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:27.199 tobacco stains running down his face. But he looks he 0:24:27.240 --> 0:24:31.359 looks every bit the Russian explorer. Okay, something out of 0:24:31.359 --> 0:24:34.880