1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jana Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast. Oh Ladies, 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: tell me everything. Phone's down. I feel like I'm in 3 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: my dinner table right now. Phone's down. 4 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 2: Mine's all my pickup plans and it's. 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Today after one thirty stone and it does not ten. 6 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 1: It no longer works. We're trying to get some stuff 7 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: done around the house. We've been in our house eleven years. Okay, 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: what's the first thing we're going for. We have big 9 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: dreams and we have small dreams. So everything costs a 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: trillion dollars and yeah, like you know, we're just we 11 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: have been really smart. We bought our house like you know, 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: ten eleven years ago, and so before Nashville got hot, 13 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: and we have a two point one interest rate and 14 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: so that's just really stunning. And so now we're just 15 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: looking at like, is it the house we would have 16 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: built floor plan wise? It is not. So how can 17 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: we live well inside of this? We do so much 18 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: living like we''re school and we do double works and 19 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, run a label out of it and all 20 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: the things. So anyways, small projects from I would love 21 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: a light in Lion's closet. That closet's never had a 22 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: light to you know, just dumb like stuff you just 23 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: live with. But you're like, if I could just if 24 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: we just spent the money, this would give us a 25 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: little more joy in this area of the home. We 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: also have two random attic spaces, and so we're looking 27 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: at like, how could we finish those out to be 28 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: more organized or more productive or just maybe more beneficial 29 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: to how we're living in the house. That kind of stuff. 30 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: And then the major plans are a pool yay, and 31 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: potentially like a house at like I call it, ask 32 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: your neighbor for some of your side. I was actually 33 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: just going to call them up and ask if I 34 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: could just tear out all their trees and their fence 35 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: and just see if I could just pop a pool 36 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 1: in my backyard. But yeah, so like that's a big dream. 37 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: That's very expensive, especially here, and we have noticed the 38 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: don't be a whine about it, but we have noticed 39 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: difference in quotes. If are if they know what we 40 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: do for a living and they don't know what we 41 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: do for a living, which I always it's not a punchline, 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,959 Speaker 1: it's a fact, Like we're called low cash. I don't 43 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 1: know how we can manage your expectation anymore. We are 44 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: not big and rich the duo. We are low cash, Like, 45 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 1: leave us alone. 46 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 3: I am stuck on this. This is a real absence. 47 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,239 Speaker 1: Everything. So this just happened with us a contractor in 48 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: our house and Heather uh is working with me on 49 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: something else, and I had told her the quote that 50 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: I had, but he now knows what I do and 51 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: this was prior, like he had done stuff in our house. 52 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: Very reasonable. So I of course went back to him 53 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: and was like, hey, we really our laundry room is 54 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: teeny tiny. We have no two little cabinets and so 55 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just throwing paper towel and toilet paper 56 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: things like that, like in a corner, like it's yeah, yeah, 57 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 1: we really need some like upper cabinets. And so I 58 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: just said, hey, would you mind coming over and just quoting, 59 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: like you you did such an amazing job with Jolie's 60 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: bookcase thing. His quote, oh yeah, was astronomical. And so 61 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: I sent to Heather and I said is this typical? 62 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: And she goes, well, funny enough, she was. She's like, 63 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to send this exact same thing to someone 64 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: else who doesn't know. She's like, but unfortunately, when they 65 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: know what you do, and the houses that you live in, 66 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: they will up the price for like someone else said, 67 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: so I can. 68 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 2: See that in like the houses that you're in, Like 69 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 2: if you're in a more expensive house, I know, you know, 70 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 2: obviously they're going to charge a little bit more, assuming 71 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 2: you got more money. 72 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: But like but the same so the same price or whatever. 73 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: It was ten thousand dollars less. It's wild, wild dollars less. 74 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: Preston's writing room doors when anyone is coming over to quote, 75 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: but I just say this really fast though it was 76 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: the same guy, Like I said, this is that's the 77 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: same yeah, And so I just said yeah. So I said, 78 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: why did you quote her the same same room but 79 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: for ten thousand dollars less? So he was going to 80 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: charge me fifty teen thousand and charge her five thousand 81 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: no for cabinets. Wow. And so I said, I will 82 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: never promote you or like reach out to you again 83 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: or recommend you to anybody like, given that you did 84 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: that based on who you think I am, you know 85 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: what I mean, it's unfair and that's raging. I was 86 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: so excited about it. My girlfriend who's her husband's a 87 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: producer and does production for a lot of really well 88 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: known country names, and so the plaques are all over 89 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 1: their house when they lived in Nashville, and she got 90 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: two different quotes, well it's four different quotes, but three 91 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 1: of them seemed in alignment and one based on plaques 92 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: on the walls because they thought she was married to 93 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: that artist. Oh wow, just and just wild. Like people 94 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: do joke in our neighborhood. They call it like they 95 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: use our neighborhood name and they'll call it that tax. 96 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: You know, they're like, well when they pull in, because 97 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: our neighborhood is not it's not crazy, but it's still 98 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: beautiful like it is. You know, the houses are around 99 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: the same square footage, so it's like it's it has 100 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: a pretty presentation, you know. But some of us have 101 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: been in there forever and did not pay what people 102 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: are paying now that they're moving in, and it's it's 103 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: just it's really disheartening to me. So we actually have 104 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 1: a new Lauren's boyfriend's coming over today and he is 105 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: going to give us an objective, like this is what 106 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 1: I would charge, just so we can compare a little bit. Yeah, 107 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 1: for sure, which is great and I think that's fair. 108 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: You should do that anyway, Yes, get different quotes, but 109 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: it has been It's been a little disheartening to me 110 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: when people assume that because what we do for a 111 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: living just means that we listen. I know there's value 112 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: to craftsmanships in people's time, Like I already know that. 113 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: So I'm that is non negotiable for me. I get it. 114 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: They're tradesmen, and that's just so. 115 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 2: And I don't know what its what it costs, and 116 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 2: then how much you're going to make is how much 117 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 2: you're gonna make, you know. I mean it's really disheartening, 118 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 2: I you know, and then you're you're losing business that way. 119 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 2: That's just not smart. 120 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: Because we're also like I think you and I have 121 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,799 Speaker 1: this deeply in common too, like if we love someone, 122 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: we love you. Yeah, Like we will tell everyone to 123 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: use you Lauren. Yes, And I'll say this too, like 124 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: even who was doing swim lessons, They're like, oh, you know, 125 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: we'll get I'm like, no, no, I want to pay 126 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: for the work that you do. And I'm going to 127 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: post about you because I think you're amazing. Same and 128 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: I you know all the time because I'm like I 129 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: love you. Yeah. So it's I they know, above and 130 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: beyond and in in those situations for the people that 131 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: you really And again, same thing with my painter. He's 132 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,839 Speaker 1: he's been at both my old house over there to 133 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: this new one. I mean, I still use him. I 134 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: still will tell everybody. He knows that because and I 135 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: pay him what he doesn't up charge. Yeah, you know, 136 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: as he I just think that's not fair. And that 137 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: wasn't even a whit about it. I was just an updated. 138 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,919 Speaker 3: Sorry, I was just really stuck. 139 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: I know, well, it is wild, and I think because 140 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: it happens to us literally all the time, that I 141 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: forget that. It's like not like people wouldn't think about that, 142 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: you know, but it's frustrating. So anyways, I'm hoping I 143 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: have at update, and I'll say this too. Like for example, 144 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: someone had texted me they think that we're making a 145 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: like they think that because I had a number one 146 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: on Netflix, you know, for a week, that I am 147 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: getting you guys, I get zero dollars zero. I made 148 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: zero dollars with that being on Netflix. They, to my understanding, 149 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: whoever they bought it from will get some money, but 150 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: I get zero. Right, So the perception of me having 151 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: the number one movie and then being able is not 152 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: the same thing, like I'm not getting people. 153 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 3: Just what I understand. 154 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: Hope is that Netflix will see that and then I'll 155 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: maybe one day get a movie with them, like one 156 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: of their originals. That's the dream, that's the hope, that's 157 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: the prayer. 158 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 2: But I don't take any money a sudden. You've got 159 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 2: a bunch of extra money and you're making because number what. 160 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: Perception is, Yeah, she's going to make a lot of 161 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: money from I make zero. Yeah, yeah, Just so please 162 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: don't charge me in the cabinets because I'm still the 163 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: you know that's and it's even like over here with 164 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: music when songs are like when I was touring for 165 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: Brad Paisley, like Shelon you guys, I went negative. 166 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 3: Y'all should really just look at these touring. 167 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I went negative like one hundred and forty thousand 168 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: and had to get tour support from mere to do 169 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: not get it. And you have to do those things though, 170 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: because you you gain such an audience and this opportunity 171 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: and it's so awesome, but it doesn't pay, which is fair. 172 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: That people don't understand it. I understand why people don't 173 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 2: understand it unless you've really seen it and know but 174 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 2: you're said telling everyone here, So now everyone knows a. 175 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,839 Speaker 3: Dollar Netflix equals zero. 176 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: For what for their non you know, from when it 177 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: gets right going there right now? Yes, yes, hopefully one 178 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: day I love you Netflix so much would mean a 179 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: lot more in Jesus name, I hope we get to 180 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: play this back right, But it is it is frustrating too, 181 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: I think is Michiganders because like we were surrounded very 182 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: much by a lot of the like my uncle Mark 183 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: could finish my attic space in a weekend, and so 184 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: I have that in my brain too, where like dudes 185 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: just come build a deck on a Friday night if 186 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: you need one, you know, Like it's so it's weird 187 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: to like go, oh, okay, how many tens of thousands 188 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: of dollars do you want to finish. 189 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 3: Out this space? Whoop? That is why we do nothing 190 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 3: to our house. 191 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy, crazy times. Yeah, well I also have 192 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: a whine about it. 193 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 3: Good but were we unpinning your life? 194 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 2: And finally she has one from last time to can 195 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: we talk about another house? 196 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 1: Well, now I really feel like I can't talk about 197 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: it given you just talked about the fact that I'm like, 198 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to spend that money on cabinets. 199 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 3: But I will do their cabinets. 200 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: Yes, cabinet is a different city. I will. 201 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 2: It's different because just because you have the money does 202 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: not mean that you should be charged that though. That's 203 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: irrelevant and that is why she's a manager charging for things. 204 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 2: It doesn't about what your bank account is. You should 205 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 2: still not have to pay. 206 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: I mean, it's about cheap girl at heart. I was 207 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: talking to Ben the other day that you are, and 208 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: he was just like, well, don't you have an entertainment lawyer. 209 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: I was like, Ben, I'm cheap, like you know what 210 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: I mean, Like there's too much success, like Pubble says, no, 211 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: too much. Like that's like it's just there's It's like 212 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: I'm still, you know, protecting because you know of all 213 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 1: the things. So that's why I'm like, I don't. 214 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 3: But anyway, like let's just dove on from that. Let's 215 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 3: talk about it. 216 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: No, no, no, because now I feel like I can't 217 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: afford it again, feeling really tight my chest and everything's 218 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,199 Speaker 1: really happy. It's like the elephant this episode of Lavish Decisions. 219 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 3: We never regret. 220 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: It's not though it's something you really dreamt about. I 221 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: feel like it matters. It's inspiring. I even said this. 222 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: I sent you a voice note the day of I'm 223 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: telling your. 224 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 3: News because I can't say it the day of. 225 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: Closing on your brand new lake house. Who. I sent 226 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,479 Speaker 1: you a note and I said, I'm really I'm excited 227 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 1: for you, I think because and listen, we're very Michigan proud. 228 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: Second comment in twenty seconds, but growing up like wanting 229 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: a lake house, it just has always been a thing, 230 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: and I just get I'm inspired that you have that 231 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 1: and you've done it, and you're creating those memories for 232 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: your kids and yourself. I think it's awesome. So we 233 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: should celebrate it as a wind down family and you 234 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 1: should tell everyone that you did. In fact, La Janna 235 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: tell them you're news. Yeah. So yeah, you know, obviously 236 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: we chatted about here how we were looking and the 237 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: foundation was cracked and the foundation was was falling. Having 238 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: said that, that house did go back on the market 239 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: and then did sell, so I'm like, do you want 240 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: to go drop a note on their door? Stuff? Yeah, 241 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 1: Like the realtor and the inspector talking to each other 242 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: and being like, don't say the inspection was bad. That's 243 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: just where my brain goes who knows, who knows fair enough. Anyways, 244 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 1: we ended up finding another place that we actually saw 245 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 1: from the very beginning, and we got you know, down 246 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: to what was a reasonable price, and but yeah, we 247 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,839 Speaker 1: we ended up we went to go close on it 248 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: and then there was an issue with the banks, so 249 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: we then closed later that week. But we we took 250 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: the kids last weekend for them to They had already 251 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: seen it when we were looking for places, but this 252 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: was the first time, you know, coming in and it 253 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: being ours and it it was really sweet. I also 254 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: got a text message from our therapist, Amy, because when 255 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: I got divorced, we did a wish list, like in 256 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: a dream list of the things that you this will 257 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: make me emotional. But she's like, she's like, you're checking 258 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: off your list and she's like, I'm really proud of you. 259 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: And she's like because one of the main things was 260 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: as so like it was like a five to ten 261 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: year plan. I said, get a lake house, like because 262 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: it just brings me peace and enjoy and you know, 263 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: obviously another almost you know, find love or have love 264 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: in my life. I want to check that that off. 265 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: But it was I'll never forget. When my grandpa passed 266 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: away a couple septembers ago or it was like I 267 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,680 Speaker 1: think it was July or August, and we did a 268 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: celebration of life in September. I said, I felt it. 269 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: Then I said, you know, I grew up coming to 270 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: the lake. No, this is real and sweet. My grandma, 271 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: my grandma and grandpa always had a lake house. Sorry, 272 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: this is so stupid. It's not stupid. It's the real stuff. 273 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: That's why I want you to share news like this though, 274 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: because there is. It's not about to you how things look, 275 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 1: it's about how things feel. And I think that that's 276 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: the misconception too in what everyone gets to see online, 277 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 1: not from you, but just in general. And I think 278 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,079 Speaker 1: this is like stupid though, you guys, I'm crying like 279 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: there's people that can't afford groceries and only crying about 280 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 1: a lake house that I bought, you know what I mean? 281 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 3: Crying about your grandparents and. 282 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: Why you like one, and that's so sweet and important. Well, 283 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: so I grew up. I grew up on a lake 284 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: up North Michigan. We would go to Big Bear Lake 285 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: up in Michigan, and then my grandma and grandpa got 286 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: a house on Lake Manuka. So when I was like ten, eleven, 287 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: twelve that time. We would always go up to Lake Manuka, 288 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: and it was growing up with my family and the 289 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: stuff with them. It was the only good memories, consistent, consistent, 290 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: good memories. And in therapy, sorry you guys, no, don't 291 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: be sorry. This is not stupid. In therapy, anytime I'd 292 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 1: have I needed a safe place to go to. And 293 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: in my marriage with Mike, and it was always I'd 294 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: close my eyes and I would be at my be 295 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: at my grandparents lakehouse. And because it was just always 296 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: bring peace, you know, I brought people there, but nothing 297 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: ever tainted even when my parents would fight when we 298 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: were up there, nothing tainted the lake. It was the 299 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: best memories of my childhood. Probably the only good memories 300 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: of my childhood was being up at that lake and 301 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: having you know, my friend Missy there and it just 302 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 1: all my girlfriends and again, nothing took that away, even 303 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 1: the first year being divorced, being on that lake. You know, 304 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: you guys were there. It could have been a really 305 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: sad memory, it wasn't. And when my grandpa died and 306 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: he was always the life of that lake, and I 307 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: just remember going, you know, it's we're not going to 308 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: be coming up here. It's going to be different. Everything's 309 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: going to be different in how that Grandpa's passed. I mean, 310 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: he was literally at the campfire. He was the funniest 311 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: man ever. And we all, you know, I've talked to 312 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: my cousins and my brother about this. It's like we 313 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: all kind of knew that it was things were going 314 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: to change. And you know, it's really expensive to fly 315 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: up north to Traverse City. Last year, we ended up 316 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: flying into Detroit and running a car or actually my 317 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: dad gave us his car, and uh, just because it 318 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: gets really expensive for five people to fly up there. 319 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: It's a teeny time I'm there. Yeah, honestly, the drama 320 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: with my mom, this is not the reason why, you know, 321 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: but I mean, like we don't. There's not room for 322 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: everybody there, and it's and my mom, my Grandma's getting older. 323 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: I know they're not going to stay there forever. And 324 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: I knew that I had to say goodbye, and a 325 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: piece of me when my grandpa passed was like knowing 326 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: that's going away, and then with everything happening last year, 327 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: I'm just like I want to keep that place really 328 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: special in my mind. Yeah, and leave it there and 329 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: I'm well, we might go back. We're not going to 330 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: go back this year, obviously because now we have our 331 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: own place, but like I and and I look forward 332 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: to the time that I do get to officially like 333 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: say my goodbye to that place because of the memories there. 334 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: But I just know that I was like a piece 335 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: of me. I was like, I would love to have 336 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: something now too, like to start those memories. And I 337 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: think about my childhood and I'm like, I want them 338 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 1: for my kids. I want to be able to be 339 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: on the water with my kids and have that peace 340 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 1: and that escape and that upbringing for them, and to 341 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: be able to open the doors to you guys and 342 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,679 Speaker 1: your families when you guys want to go and really 343 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: just you know, I worked really hard, and you know 344 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: this past last year and this year, I'm like, I 345 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: want to I want to start to enjoy the work, 346 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: the hard work that I have done, and I want 347 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:31,239 Speaker 1: to go celebrate it with friends and relax and have 348 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: peace and not just keep it in an account, you know. 349 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,360 Speaker 1: And it's been beautiful to do this with Alan together. 350 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: We have something together which is beautiful and the kids. 351 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 1: You guys, we were eating breakfast that morning and I 352 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,439 Speaker 1: looked to my left and Jolie she's you know, in 353 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: her life est but she's on the dock and she's 354 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: just sitting there and i'd send the picture to you, Catherine, 355 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:50,919 Speaker 1: and I was like, I looked and I was like, 356 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: that's it. That's the peace that I want for my 357 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: daughter and I hope. So it was funny too, because 358 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 1: this is silly and this is such a mom like 359 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: dad joke. But Jolie had stained one of the new 360 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: like furniture things with the chocolate chip cookie and usually 361 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I was like, it's okay. And when 362 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 1: we went down and we said prayers, we were saying 363 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: our prayers and I said, you know, we're going to 364 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: stay in this place with memories, and that's like the 365 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: motto for us, like we're just let's just make all 366 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: the memories and just like this place is going to 367 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: be your happy place, you know. So, yes, we got 368 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: a place in Alabama. We're so excited. That's right. Let's 369 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: have a wind down tour. Everybody could just come. I 370 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: want everybody to come. 371 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 3: Everybody's everyone. I love it. 372 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: Anyways, Well, for what it's worth, the day that you 373 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: were closing, I remembered you were closing because I was 374 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,680 Speaker 1: having this moment in a similar season not even worth expanding, 375 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: but just like the joy in us doing stuff and 376 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 1: just like actually going to do stuff and can we 377 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: actually have a girl's night there? Please? Can we all 378 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: get in a car. 379 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 3: Please? 380 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 1: It popped up in my brain. I was like, oh wait, we. 381 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 3: Get a lake out that. 382 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: I was like, oh wait, today's the day were closing. 383 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 1: It was really fun and I do I want I 384 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: want all of us please to get. 385 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 3: One and we talk about it. 386 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 2: It's for whatever reason, it's so hard here, yeah you know, 387 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 2: and it's so hard to plan a trip, but you 388 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 2: got a place right there. It will get people to go, Okay, 389 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 2: we get to get away for a weekend, but it's 390 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 2: not too far still close. 391 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 1: Well. It takes an element out of it when we 392 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: know that it's there. That's not you're not trying to 393 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: find a place or where can we all go? Or 394 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: like that's what's fun about it? You're just like, hey, 395 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: what are you doing this weekend? I think I want 396 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 1: to come with the kids. Like that's fun to me. 397 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 3: You love it, and so you're going to go like 398 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 3: every weekend, like after game. 399 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 1: I mean, this is part of me wanting to quit everything. 400 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 1: Mean now I'm like I can't because I'm like, ah, 401 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: I got like, for example, there's something that there's a 402 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: there's something that we were we would normally pass on 403 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: and Catherine's like, why are you doing this? She's like, 404 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: this is so much of your time and not your 405 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: normal quote, and I said, hashtag boat like everybody, well so, 406 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: but no, I mean a piece of me is like, 407 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: you know, Alan and I were talking about going down 408 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 1: there and just you know, working sometimes from there because 409 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 1: it's it's an easy drag her back. We can hashtag boat, 410 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: let's get a boat. We are talking with Barletta at 411 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,680 Speaker 1: the moment. Well, we'll see. Yeah, this is what I'm 412 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,439 Speaker 1: talking about because we spend so much of our time 413 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 1: working and inside of a scarcity mindset because of these industries. 414 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people resonate with this. 415 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 1: It's like my dad was the king of maybe Someday yep, 416 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: and I refuse, I married a little bit the king 417 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: junior of maybe Sunday, and I am just ready for 418 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,439 Speaker 1: us to like doing things in our house, dumb little things, 419 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 1: but like things where I'm like, we live here and 420 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: we deserve to you if he's always wanted to pull 421 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 1: in his backyard and that feels big to him, like 422 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: we let's have that. Yeah, you know, like we're working 423 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,919 Speaker 1: too hard to not like life's too short and well 424 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: and too short yea yeah, and the kids ages too. 425 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: I'm like ten seven and two, like these are the 426 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,199 Speaker 1: most beautiful ages to you know, to go do it. 427 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: And you know, but it was like instead of doing 428 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: the right side of our place, because we were going 429 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 1: to do a little pickle, like we've now decided, Okay, 430 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: what's the best use of our money property, not trying 431 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 1: to do that, you know, So it's trying to pick 432 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: and choose those things. And then also, you know, it 433 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: just the fact that I just working hard and wanting 434 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: to enjoy pieces of we well. 435 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,959 Speaker 2: And I think there's lessons for everyone in that, no 436 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 2: matter what your financial situation is, you know, is yours 437 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 2: was buying a lake house, but it was for the memories. 438 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:41,959 Speaker 2: You didn't care how big it was, you didn't care 439 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,360 Speaker 2: how nice it was, you didn't care. 440 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 3: It was for the memories. 441 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 2: And so someone else in a different position who was 442 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 2: like I could never afford a lake house, or you know, 443 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 2: I couldn't. 444 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 3: Well, what else? 445 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 2: What is something in your life you can do that's 446 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,159 Speaker 2: making sure that you're not just working and you're enjoying 447 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 2: the memories. I think that that's the biggest thing at 448 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 2: this because that's what it is for you, not about 449 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 2: the money. 450 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 3: It's not about that. 451 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 2: It stresses you out, but you know it's so I 452 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 2: don't want people to take from that because you're afraid 453 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 2: of that. But that's not what people are gonna take 454 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 2: from that. From this, it's like, make those memories, whatever 455 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 2: it is. If that means instead of working on Saturday, 456 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 2: going to the park with your kids or whatever that is, 457 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 2: take it and just make the memories instead of just 458 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 2: sitting there and having money in an account when you die. 459 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: That's right. Amen to that. Okay, KB, you've been pinning 460 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 1: for too long? What is it? Girl? Her face? It's 461 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 1: literally on the rundown, KB, you've been capitalized yelling. She's 462 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: yelling at me, is yelling in caps. 463 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 3: I still not figured out how to do it. 464 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: I haven't. I'm so sorry to do it. I just 465 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: I do need a chat offline about how it can 466 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 1: be a thing. It's so much so that I almost 467 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: want to write in anonymously to wind down and have 468 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 1: mine be paid. 469 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 2: So that you, guys, why don't you do that? And 470 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 2: then we'll have to guess when it comes. 471 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 3: Through and figure out way. 472 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: There's a lot of those. I do have a quick 473 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: wine about it, though. If no one else has one, 474 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: I have a quick one too. Okay, I do it 475 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 1: from last week. Okay you wrote last week. I want 476 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: yours from last week. The sports time being so late, 477 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: she's kill me. Now, it's a lot. You lose your night. 478 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,479 Speaker 2: Oh why do you think I stay up? That's why 479 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 2: I stay up till midnight one o'clock every night, because 480 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't lose my night. 481 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, you still. 482 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 1: Want your time when you get home. I still want 483 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: my like decompression time. But the we're not getting home 484 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: some nights until like no, I'm like, he's seven. 485 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is bad. 486 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,640 Speaker 1: This is our last year. Last ball season, we weren't 487 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,919 Speaker 1: getting home until like eight thirty nine o'clock one o'clock. 488 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: And then and so then I sent a text to 489 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 1: my ex because today he's got a game and they 490 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 1: want them there forty five minutes before to start practicing, 491 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 1: and I said, hey, we're not showing up forty five 492 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 1: minutes before he's seven years old. I want to have 493 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,919 Speaker 1: dinner and he's got a six forty five game, Like, 494 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: we're not showing up. It's I'm like, this is We're 495 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: not gonna get home until eight something. He's not eating 496 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 1: dinner at eight something o'clock at night, so it tinus 497 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: to go to bed. Yeah, showers, the whole thing. And 498 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: I'm just like and then from just going from working 499 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: day and then to that, and I'm like, you don't 500 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: get home and then by the time they're all tucked in, 501 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 1: it's nine o'clock and then you're exhausted. And then then 502 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: we have toddlers. Yeah, so I'm like, if I hadn't 503 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,199 Speaker 1: a game, it's eight thirty. Yeah, and that's that's I 504 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 1: usually it's one. Alan usually will stay home, oh, because 505 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,679 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't romans just he just runs like 506 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: it's exhausting. Yeah, so same. But I also am like, 507 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 1: now I'm giving a baby a bath at eight thirty 508 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 1: nine o'clock at night and then she's going But i 509 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: just know it's going to keep being later and later, 510 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:48,399 Speaker 1: and I'm not prepared. 511 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 3: Help why it does? 512 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,199 Speaker 1: Why? Why is it? 513 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,400 Speaker 3: Have y'all seen that meme. 514 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 2: That's like, tell me you have teenagers, you either at 515 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 2: dinner at four or ten like that, that is. 516 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: That's our ide night. So that way I didn't have 517 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,879 Speaker 1: to be stressing about making the dinner and time for 518 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 1: it is a little belly to like digest for the game. Yeah, 519 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,640 Speaker 1: And we've decided on this is wild. I can't believe 520 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,879 Speaker 1: I'm saying it out loud. We've decided on family dinner 521 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: at three point thirty. Oh wow, because it's the only 522 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: time that I can eat before love goes to ballet, 523 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 1: Like we want to sit at a table, yes, and 524 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 1: I'm able to do yes. Yes. So now we're doing 525 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 1: three thirty dinners when we can, and then they can 526 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: have second dinner when they get home. 527 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 3: Second Dinner's become a real thing. 528 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. And for snack dinner yeah yeah. 529 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 2: And really, depending on the sport and how physical it is, 530 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 2: also sometimes it's better to do certain like snacks before 531 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,920 Speaker 2: that physical activity and then have like a certain kind 532 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,959 Speaker 2: of dinner after. Like I've been learning a little bit 533 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 2: about that, like for Emmy, for cheer, like, do we 534 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 2: have dinner before you don't want like a full dinner 535 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 2: before really physical practice. 536 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then dinner chapter right, because yeah. 537 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 2: About like or football or you know, different things. You 538 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 2: just as they get older, you kind of have to 539 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 2: start thinking like what is But I mean, you know, 540 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 2: we eat out so much because of it, and you know, 541 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 2: I'm definitely not doing it all right. 542 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 1: But so I did sign up. I sign up when 543 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: I can for snack for baseball when it's the late games, 544 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 1: and my snack is I order pizza to the field. 545 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:13,360 Speaker 3: That's nice. 546 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,679 Speaker 1: So still belly kids they come to the field like 547 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: I have it delivered to the field. 548 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 3: That's smart. 549 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: Smart, And then we're getting full bellies and they and 550 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: the parents are getting full belly kids on their way home, 551 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: so they're not having to go home. And do you 552 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 1: have a kid that asks for ranch while you're there? 553 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: I don't. Jas is not on my team. 554 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 3: Mike evens anymore. That's nice. 555 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: I know, Well there's still I mean, to their point, 556 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: they're still little enough to have snack, but they're not 557 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: little enough to be home before. 558 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 3: I know, nice is late for. 559 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 2: Jolie and Love and Ramsey are all kind of getting there, 560 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 2: but like that's late for the seven year olds. That's 561 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,680 Speaker 2: that's getting home at nine is really I mean we're ten, 562 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 2: but like she's also fourteen, you know, so there is 563 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,159 Speaker 2: a difference. But then you'll get into it also depends 564 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 2: on what they're doing. So here's a little hope when 565 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,720 Speaker 2: they get to if they're just playing sports at like 566 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 2: the middle school and the high school, that's not happening 567 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 2: unless it's like a football game on Friday night when 568 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 2: they're in high school, you know what I mean, or 569 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 2: if they're playing middle school ball. But their practices are 570 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 2: going to be after school, so it gets it gets 571 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 2: a little bit easier when they're doing sports with their school, yeah, 572 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 2: because it's after school. 573 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 1: Well, so if you'll get a break. I just feel 574 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,719 Speaker 1: a little selfish saying I need my time at night, 575 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 1: but that is truly that time. 576 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,679 Speaker 2: So same and Nick thinks I'm crazy. He's like, you 577 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 2: just need to go to bed because then you're so 578 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 2: tired the next morning. And I'm like, but he understands 579 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 2: at the same time, I have to have my time. 580 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,160 Speaker 2: So that's why again, that's why I go to bed 581 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 2: at pretty much midnight. 582 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: I can't get I have my yoga and my cigies, 583 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,880 Speaker 1: like I need my certain you know, and then it's 584 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: I want to scroll for a little bit if I 585 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 1: want to maybe watch a little yeah TV or a 586 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: show which, by the way, love Story. You guys watching 587 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: Love Story, and hey, we are so good. So yeah, 588 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: I'm just like, but you can't when you're so tired. 589 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. Yeah, And I just I get a 590 00:27:58,600 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 3: second one. 591 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,639 Speaker 1: And then I gotta get seven for a you know 592 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:00,959 Speaker 1: what I mean. 593 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 2: So well, this is also you know how I said 594 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 2: I was going to have another kid at forty, This 595 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:05,439 Speaker 2: is why I didn't. 596 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 3: And it's I would have legit would I didn't know. 597 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,679 Speaker 1: She always always, always, and I'm actually shocked that she hasn't. 598 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: Can you because she can't? 599 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 3: I mean I Nick Nicks fixed, but oh yeah. 600 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 1: But but it fixed. Anybody would even father one more. 601 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: We need a wind. 602 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 2: But think about that, even even having Nick, I mean 603 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 2: like tonight when you were like get off your phone 604 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 2: or whatever, for the first time in forever, I actually 605 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 2: had to call on a grandparent because it just gets physically. 606 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 3: Impossible even with two. 607 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 2: So because I was the one, Ramsey didn't go to 608 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 2: the field, Ramsey didn't go to with sports. Someone was 609 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 2: watching Ramsey because I want to watch the sport. I 610 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 2: don't want to watch I don't running around, right. 611 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 3: You don't have that luxury. I understand. I'm so sorry. 612 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 1: Having said that, we have a good baseball team for 613 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:52,959 Speaker 1: kids sisters this year. 614 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 3: That's good, that's name. But I'm like, I physically couldn't 615 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 3: have another kid. 616 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 2: There's not another person to help us at this point, 617 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 2: you know, Like even though I have grandparents like asking today, 618 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 2: they're helping all the younger helping all their the younger siblings. 619 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,239 Speaker 2: Now you know, they'll help us when they can, but 620 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 2: like they're taking care of their babies. So anyway, it's 621 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 2: just like I can't have another baby. 622 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 3: It's just too late, too much. 623 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 2: I never knew this was a thing. And my kids 624 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 2: have to be in bed at six o'clock, you know, 625 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 2: I'm trying to when they're babies. Oh, I was like, 626 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 2: you know, six thirty was their bedtime when they were babies, 627 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 2: so they would have been in bed before we went. 628 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: I get it. So I'm going to send you the 629 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: next spiral video from Lyon. I can't. 630 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,959 Speaker 3: I mean, you don't have a choice, And yeah. 631 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: You can, so that's apparently a relatable wine. Then there 632 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:40,479 Speaker 1: we go. 633 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 2: Oh, I I was waiting for you to get here 634 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,959 Speaker 2: because I've been telling you for years, because I think 635 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: it's hard to understand until you're there. 636 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you're a person that needs that time 637 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 3: at night. 638 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: I do. I want my long shower. Yes, I want 639 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: to ask and. 640 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 2: I need everyone to not talk to me for an hour. Yes, 641 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 2: like everyone is up, Yeah, just shop like I come 642 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 2: home and make ass questions like it's good. 643 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,959 Speaker 1: How about when Preston's home and he's popping popcorn and 644 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,920 Speaker 1: Netflix is on the level eighty five and I'm like, 645 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 1: oh yeah, that gets me. When the husband will ask 646 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: the question though, you're just like can you can you 647 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: figure it out? Right now? That's our Like Preston's like 648 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: rolling up his sleeves at tenn He's like, all right, 649 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: So I was thinking we should do a vacation. I'm like, 650 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no no no no no no, no 651 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: no no. We've got some headlines that we're going to 652 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: pin those for the following week. But this listener question, 653 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 1: I want to make sure we get to Hi. This 654 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 1: is hard to admit, but I cheated on my husband 655 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: a while back and it caused a lot of hurt. Understandably, 656 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 1: we decided to stay together and try to work through it. 657 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 1: But recently, I found out that he has now cheated 658 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: on me too. Part of me feels like I deserve it, 659 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: but another part of me is hurt all over again 660 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: and unsure what this means for our relationship at all. 661 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 1: It almost feels like we're stuck in the cycle of 662 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: trying to even the score instead of actually healing. Is 663 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: it possible for a relationship to come back from something 664 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: like this when both people have broken trust? And how 665 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: you and how do you figure out if you're trying 666 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 1: to rebuild something real or just holding onto something that's 667 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:27,600 Speaker 1: already too damaged. I feel like everyone's staring at me. Listen. 668 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 1: I would just say, you now know how he felt 669 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: when he found out about what you did, And I 670 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: don't think it's okay to like even the score or 671 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 1: you know that wasn't okay for him. He definitely has 672 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 1: whatever building blocks you guys put up with the healing, 673 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: he's clearly knocked that down. You guys are now on 674 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: unfortunately an even playing field, and I think now is 675 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: when you guys both need to say, Okay, we've both 676 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 1: been hurt, we've both done really unthinkable things. Let's try 677 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: to heal our marriage, work together and if someone steps 678 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 1: out next time, like it's done. You know, like you 679 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: can't keep using that like you guys both hurt each 680 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 1: other and now it needs to be the like and 681 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 1: this can't happen again. You got to let go of 682 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: the resentment on both sides of why this person, You know, 683 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 1: he's probably resentful that you cheated. So then it's like 684 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: then they maybe he felt like he had a free 685 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,240 Speaker 1: pat I don't know, but like there's just the resentment. 686 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 1: You guys have to start a new marriage today and 687 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: that's usually how like a good therapist can walk you 688 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: through how to do that. Yeah, I was going to 689 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 1: say therapy for sure. We went through something a few 690 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: years back and put ourselves in a three day intensive 691 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: and nothing like insane, but just we we were always 692 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: in a cycle. There's a communication cycle. The couple's therapists 693 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: we worked with says every single relationship, any time you 694 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 1: have relationship with any other person, so whether it's a 695 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: parent or a friend or whatever, but specifically with your spouse, 696 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: you're always in some sort of communication cycle. And so 697 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: our work for three days was to really slow me down. 698 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 1: That was the part I had of accountability for because 699 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: I get ramped up in pretty fast, and you know, 700 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: my little one liners work against him, and that's not fair. 701 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 1: And so she would help us identify the parts in 702 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,560 Speaker 1: the cycle where we were missing each other and where 703 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: we could lean towards each other instead of away from 704 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: each other. So somewhere buried in all of this infidelity 705 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: is a really a probably blaringly obvious piece that you're 706 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: just missing with each other too. So I agree, good therapy. 707 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 3: And getting to what that like underlying. 708 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, because this one even hurt each other or no, 709 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 1: I mean, and maybe this isn't the marriage either. You know, 710 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: if there's no kids involved too, that would be a question. 711 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: I have not that you try harder when there's kids, 712 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: but we just have more people to think about, you know. 713 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 1: But yeah, I just would encourage you to find even 714 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: if you could, just more than just even a couple's therapists. 715 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: I feel like almost in this instance and intensive, but 716 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: that's just my two cents, Like an actual sit down days, yeah, 717 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: in would be incredible to get to the Yeah. 718 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 2: It almost seems and this is probably naive of me 719 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 2: to say this, and I don't know if I should, 720 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,760 Speaker 2: but it almost and I haven't been in this situation 721 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,919 Speaker 2: seems like it would be kind of almost easier when 722 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 2: both and you're on. 723 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 3: An even playing field. 724 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 2: Correct me if I shouldn't say this versus one person cheating, 725 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 2: you know what I mean in a way, because it's 726 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,200 Speaker 2: like she can kind of understand now how he felt 727 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 2: in that situation. He understands they both have felt that hurt, 728 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 2: and now it seems like you can just kind of 729 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 2: wipe it clean and start over and build it to 730 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,200 Speaker 2: get and maybe not easier is the right word, but 731 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,360 Speaker 2: it's like y'all both understand the feeling versus one person 732 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 2: feeling like you don't understand, You don't understand how I feel. 733 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 2: You don't understand, you don't understand. They should both be 734 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 2: able to hopefully y'all can both understand how you feel 735 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,719 Speaker 2: and work together and come together to just wipe it 736 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,319 Speaker 2: clean and start over from the get go. 737 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,800 Speaker 1: And maybe like re choosing each other, right, like to 738 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: Jana's point, right, Yeah, yeah, I know I know what 739 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 1: you mean. Kat. 740 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 3: That's yeah, it's. 741 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 2: It's hard to but it's you know, and again I 742 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 2: haven't been in that position, but I can see where 743 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,200 Speaker 2: possibly that could be, Like, Okay, I do know how 744 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,880 Speaker 2: you feel you know, and it's not you can't really 745 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 2: throw that in my face, you know, like you don't 746 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 2: know how I feel. I do, because it happened to 747 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 2: me too, you know, so maybe I don't. Hopefully that 748 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 2: can help, maybe just not even the score, but start 749 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 2: over from even playing field and just wipe it all 750 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 2: clean and start over. 751 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 1: I do agree. I actually really do agree with that 752 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:35,280 Speaker 1: because it wasn't in the same marriage, but things, things 753 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,759 Speaker 1: that happened in my first marriage are able from It 754 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,320 Speaker 1: gives me a greater perspective because you know how it 755 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 1: feels a different understanding in this marriage. 756 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, so just because the same marriage. 757 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 2: But I've seen it experienced so hard when it's you know, 758 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,239 Speaker 2: someone saying, but you don't know how I feel. I 759 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 2: don't trust you. I don't have this trust I don't have. 760 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 2: But if it's on both sides, maybe that makes it 761 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 2: easier to come together. 762 00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope. 763 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 2: I hope it does for y'all at least, and it 764 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 2: can be a positive thing to work with. 765 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,280 Speaker 1: Amen to that. All right, girls, We'll see you next week. 766 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 3: Bye bye.