WEBVTT - EP 456: Washed, Wild, & Free 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.760 Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.040 decision Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:09.400 You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast. 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.560 Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:19.599 Welcome everybody to another episode of Decisions Decisions. It's your girl, 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:24.079 man dB aka Peg the Stallion aka Mandy Lapute aka 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.960 Mandy Dirt aka Mandy Baskins aka That Beach. 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:32.440 Welcome back, everybody. My name is Weezy and oh yeah, 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.600 we've never been on here before, so we haven't for y'all, 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:38.879 I ain't gonna hold you. I think I told Alex 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:40.000 I liked it. 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.919 So I'm gonna copy the set that we're gonna record 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:45.559 in Atlanta at my studio. I'm gonna make it like 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:46.800 this color scheme and all. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.480 What I'm gonna get that's gun character next thing. Uh 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:54.040 uh No, you not. You would never. I would never 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.480 do a twenty seven piece, bitch. I've done a twenty 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:58.360 seven people from Flora Le. 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:00.200 Do no goddamn twenty seven piece. But y'all know you 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:01.320 since you was fifteen. 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:02.800 I've done a little like the Little bob Ones. They 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.399 didn't look like that, though I didn't do the short one. 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:05.959 I don't know if I would have. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.000 Twenty seven pieces are short? You did a quick weave, 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:10.800 but not at twenty seven. This is twenty seven pieces. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.600 How do you know it's exactly twenty seven? That's what 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:18.480 the box said, Oh, numbers, don't lie? What you want 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:20.039 me to say? What do you want me to say? 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:24.240 Got it? Well? I wouldn't remember that because I'm fucking washed. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.160 Let's have a catch up about how I don't want 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.880 to do anything. No, what, You're not depressed, are you? Oh? No? Oh, 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:32.840 you just really are washed. Okay, but you're not even 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:36.080 thirty five yet. I got three more months. And let 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:39.920 me tell your son. I literally, so this is how 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:42.280 I know I'm washed. And tell me if anybody else 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.959 can relate, and if we are together, washer and dry yours. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:51.000 So here's what happened. All right. I go out last weekend, okay, 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:55.320 And before I went out, all I was talking about 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.360 that whole week was, oh my god, I can't wait 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.880 until we go out Saturday. I'm gonna get so fucked up. 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:03.680 I'm gonna get fucked up. I was talking about it 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:05.400 for two weeks. Oh my god, we're gonna do this. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.320 I'm gonna sprinkle a little molly in my drink. It's 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:09.000 gonna be a time. Then we're gonna go to this 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.320 new afties in New York. It's called Refuse. Stays open 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:14.880 till two pm. I'm out all night, you do. Bitch 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.760 went to dinner right around dinner, right when, and I 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:20.480 did late in little nine thirty. You know that's the 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.440 party girl dinner time that is. That's a late dinner 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:26.240 when I'm at one of our favorites and soho you are, 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:28.680 you know, and I'm getting that duck breast and you 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:33.160 know what that little I'm like, it's a living forty 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.119 five and trying to get tired. So now I'm looking 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.680 like around the table, I'm like, let's just do the 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:39.520 drugs here, and they're like, damn, bitch, we needn't get 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:41.160 to spot. But I'm like, I need something to pip 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.280 you up. So yeah, I do drugs at dinner. So 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:44.680 I'm like, should get it, by the way, not drugs, 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:48.800 drugs shroops. She's still drugs. Ah honey, and you take 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:50.960 I got you a little my niggas. Oh, I just 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:53.880 want to chime in and talks shit. Yeah, drove back 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:55.560 to the point where they be like they hate dart 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.000 because I put it. I take them in chocolate. That's 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:02.360 still drugs, but it's in chalc it's cookal Mine was water, 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.880 it was molly. Oh. So anyway, I'm thinking, no, I'm 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:08.519 getting tired, but I'm wanna be a party pooper. So 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:10.640 I'm like starting to play this. How I done gets tired. 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:13.000 I start playing music at the table, wat to check 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:16.760 come in. I was like, ooh, rehythm, let's wake back up. 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.640 And everybody else is like, which, we've been up? So 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.480 we get to the spot. My friend Andre was DJing 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.560 at this like Brooklyn warehouse, he thing, and it was 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:26.880 a pive and so I'm like, what time you get on. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:28.880 He's like, I'm gonna play one to three thirty and 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:34.000 I was like, god, damn, that's late. But it's all right. 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:37.080 So now what I do. I don't know if anybody 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:38.600 else has it. I go and yap mode. I just 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:40.400 started yapping. I get a little high and I just 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.760 start chatting to make the time pass. And I just 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.160 start yapping everybody because that's how it keeps me up 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:48.080 because I like to learn lives. I start talking to 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.000 a Horrorhive member. She's like, oh my god, you need 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:51.680 me both, like I'm a piano other than this. And 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.640 we talked for thirty minutes. Boom, thirty minutes I know 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:56.840 because I was high, and she says she needed the 0:03:56.880 --> 0:04:00.360 time to pass. Okay, So three o'clock, come right, somebod 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:03.880 Nica looks at me. He's like, well already here, you 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:07.000 already out. Bitch is snowed the night before. We already out. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.480 So then I say to Andre, like, damn, you got 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:13.760 another show tomorrow in Atlanta. Damn you need some rest. 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:15.000 He's like, no, I ain't seen you in a minute. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.640 We're good. I'm like, oh, you was trying to go home. Yeah. 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.200 So we get to the athletes, this new spot in 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:20.520 New York. 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.080 How are you saying you're washed? But you made it 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.240 all the way to the affies. This is not a 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:26.160 washed story. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:30.599 It's like you, okay, hold on, you wanting to leave, 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:33.920 but still being out doesn't make you wash. Bro, Like, 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:37.080 this is not a story of you being washed. 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.520 You've been watched it have been Like, instead of going out, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.640 I went home and binge the Beast in Meat on 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:47.560 Netflix had popcorn and a glass of wine that is washed. 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:49.440 But you made it to the Aftes at three o'clock 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:51.040 in the morning. Okay. So once I get to the 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:55.360 Aftes right now, it's about eight of us, but I 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.080 ain't have my ID, so I'm like, I'm definitely not 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:03.800 gonna get in. It's okay, guys. No. So everybody's like no, 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.080 we're all together, like we're not going only weezy and 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.960 I'm like okay. So then we go to the front. 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:10.960 My man's like, give your phone. So he pulls out 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:12.400 my ID. He's like, this is my girl, blah blah 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:15.280 blah blah, and he's like, doesn't work. She can't get it. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.760 I'm like, no problem. Then the manager comes out and 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:20.159 he's like, looking at me, that has really pissed me off. 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:25.400 He's like, yeah, she's fine, she's good. So I wo all, 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.200 I mean that's twenty one, bruh. I don't think you 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.640 look over twenty one. Well yeah, you look over twenty one, 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.680 mind you you should be happy and and you don't 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.480 even know. Well we was young with fake id's this 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:39.479 bitch all They would look at her and be like, yeah, bro, 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:40.240 this ain't cute. 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:43.240 Good truck, like she got good hard she got her 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.640 fake id crumpled in half, and he said, I know 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:48.760 you got school in the morning, go on home now 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.280 and ruin my night. Bitch, I couldn't be out mind you, 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.520 out of fake id of But bitch, it was five nine. 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:56.960 Where the fuck am I five nine? 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:59.320 Anywhere? Mine did look like mine? 0:05:59.640 --> 0:05:59.919 Yours? 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:04.080 Yours did not a little too brown, Yours did not brown, 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:06.360 and I'm a little too white, but mine said I 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:09.680 was five nine. Okay, same facial, but you should be 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.160 happy that you're now able to just get in. So boom, 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:15.040 I get into this crackhead afteres on tight and just 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.159 how I know I'm mad. The acting is actually really good, 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.680 but I was mad because I was so tired. So 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:21.279 you know how like you could be doing the same 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.000 ship as other people, but you're just gonna be talking 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:26.200 about them, because like I could be doing some whole ship, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.720 I'd be like, she fucked a bunch of niggas. I 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:29.280 could have fucked a bunch of niggas. That's the ship 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:30.960 I was on. I was in there afters and I 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:36.000 was like, movies, people are sucking right access well, while 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:41.480 she was drinking molly water. The hypocrisy. So then this 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:43.680 girl sitting there with a lobby pop and she's like, 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.160 coming on, ma so much funny, you have me so 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.560 much fun I'm like, I was just so mad because 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.080 I can't be in it. It used to be me. 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:54.240 I was young, water fright, so anyway, but you are 0:06:54.400 --> 0:07:05.840 still free. We both yeah, I washed as did. I 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.400 was like damn getting kinds hired and was like, nigga, 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.480 you the one who was talking about this shit. I 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.520 was like, okay, So I sat an alarm on my 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:16.120 phone when I was going You're like, damn, I god, 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:18.240 she going on. You don't got to record horrible. Even 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:19.760 though it was a week later. I was just starting, 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.720 you know, so now you had to get vocal wrist 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:25.600 a week before. I put an alarm on my phone 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.760 for five am because I was like, that's too much, 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.120 that's too far. So my man and him say, I 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.960 go home, y'all. I get home to read my kindle. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.960 I was tucked in the bed in the sheets, reading 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:37.320 a book. 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:41.520 So she's watched because after an afties she went home 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:43.000 and looked at her kindle. 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.160 But it's only because she couldn't go to sleep because 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:50.200 she was on Bodley. Hey, what are we talking? About 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:53.120 I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm reading like I 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:54.480 was reading. I was so high. I was reading the 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:56.280 back of the book published by Simon the Shoots for 0:07:56.320 --> 0:08:01.200 two thousand and six. Yeah, you are alert, very alert 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:04.480 and aware. By the way, the most unwashed washed story 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:06.800 I think I've ever heard on the pods. But it's washed. 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.080 If you know, you can't hang. And I also think 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:12.000 this is the biggest wash factor about it. I was 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:15.040 ready for this party for three weeks. Oh, it wasn't 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:19.200 a music festival. It was just a Brooklyn little night out, 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.600 like and I am like hyped about it. I made 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.480 the dinner plans three weeks before. I picked my outfit 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.280 three weeks before. I'm like, we're gonna go out, and 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:29.720 then literally to the point where that Sunday the party 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:31.320 was on Saturday. I'm told my man, on Sunday, we 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:34.760 shouldn't never drink tonight. We're gonna drink on Saturday. Who 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.240 if I think that's crazy, thank you? 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.760 I mean, but I do that, Like on Sundays in Atlanta, 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.280 I'll be ready to do my little my little run, 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.720 and my little run is a little it's a run to. 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.840 Where I have to take a nap. So my nap 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:52.240 is normally at like six thirty. Ooh, I wake up 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:57.920 about sam thirty s four to five, didn't get ready, 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.839 Then I'll head out to eat. That's so I go 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:05.000 to eat like eight thirty because they don't leave it 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.240 like nine thirty. I like to be a whiskey mistress. 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.839 That's the one we've talked about on Patreon where it's 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:13.559 like Nike text suits and Fedoras, but it's like the 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.960 older crowd of niggas that like just still ain't giving 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:17.640 up the streets. 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.040 But I like going there because I go there and 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:21.199 it's just free drink. 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:25.520 Scalore Okay, So I go there from it closes it twelve, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:28.400 So I go there from like ten ten thirty to 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:32.240 like a LAMB forty five. Then next door is the 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:36.000 mc cat, so I go there and keep drinking. But 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.960 that's normally like every Sunday, three spots as long as 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:39.560 I'm in Atlanta. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:41.640 And now I'm telling the whole world where I be, 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:45.280 bitch I be, I've been there. Yeah, do you know 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:48.240 what it used to be my repertoire? This was Meyer girl. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:51.160 I was okay, this me five years ago, Me and 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.000 my girl girl. They know what you was doing five 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.800 years ago with the ampless podcast. You ain't got a lot. No, 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.120 I'm not going through my full night okay, so boom. 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.320 I would start the night I have a cock til 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:02.720 somewhere in the LS, not last nap, because you gotta 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.199 go like at a certain time. But you can't go 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.120 like midnight back in the day when it was lit, 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:08.000 because that's all the people that listen to podcasts and shit. 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.880 You gotta go for the neighborhood people. Around nine forty five, 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:13.720 then I'll walk over have my late night dinner at Lucienne. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.920 The new kids do dime Square Ladiv. I'm an old 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:17.920 school in New York Bay okay, okay. So I was 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.000 doing Lucien and then I'm like, okay, it's midnight time. 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:21.439 Where are we gonna go for a little she she 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:25.200 I'd hit up the blonde that was my little soho 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:29.959 Jam Paul's baby Grand Gold Room Boom. Then about two thirty, 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:31.839 I'm tired of shit and now I need niggas. So 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:33.600 that's when I used to go before everybody was at 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:39.160 Dumbala to buttons capizually sometimes and then I was like, okay, tune, 0:10:39.240 --> 0:10:41.520 niggas done me in here. Now I gotta go, so 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:43.439 then I would have a little small stint in Booker, 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:47.599 Brooklyn Mirage or whatever afters was in Brooklyn. I like 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.360 to go to the little home of the after parties. 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:51.120 You ever been to one of them? Like a little lombarda. 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:55.440 That's crazy what you never even know who got money. 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.160 I don't believe you after parties because I'm washed. I'm 0:10:59.200 --> 0:10:59.680 going home. 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.480 I'm going I don't throwly make it to the app. 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:03.960 I'll be in there at eight in the morning. Let 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:05.760 Nicki Minaj come on, niggas on the table. 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:05.959 I be. 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.959 I be lit by this. It's like the drug dealing. 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.800 That's the thing I do. I do liquors. So I 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.880 be so lit to where it's like ooh, bitch, slurring 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:18.920 stumble it time to go home. Yeah, like this is 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.559 upper material. Yeah you do no, no, no, no, like 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:23.680 like we're not doing drugs every weekend. But I don't. 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:25.880 I don't drink that. You don't drink like that, bitch. 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.760 I'm we're doing shots. If I drink that much, I can't. 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:30.360 I ain't gonna last. So let me tell you. I 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:31.640 see you ride a club closing at four. 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.040 I want to tell you because y'all know, we haven't 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.400 been in the studio for a while. So there's a 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:39.040 nigga that was around that y'all didn't really know about. 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:43.200 But grand opening, grand closing. So I met a guy 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:44.160 at the MTK. 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.840 And you go there a lot. Don't know what it is, y'all. 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.120 I have a type and it's not even aesthetics. This 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:53.160 nigga too had a PhD. So in twenty twenty five 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.040 the theme was niggas with PhD? 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.439 What is the look? I don't know. I'll show you 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.079 a pick. Well, I don't even know if I have 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:00.520 a picture of him. I think I do. 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:03.000 I have a screenshot of him because somehow he ended 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.880 up on someone else's page and I said, nigga, I 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.120 don't even have your social media, but yet somehow you 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:07.640 ended up on. 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:10.040 A picture of I'll show you him. I'll show you him. 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:14.600 Anyways, so he had he had very long locks, cute 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.959 down his back, really smart, had money, no kids and 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:20.880 that was the problem, no kids, and I think he 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:25.559 was very traditional. So anyways, I met him at the 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.200 spot that I go to all the time, so almost 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.400 every other time I go there, I run into him. 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.600 And it was the thing where once we. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.120 Saw each other, we would stand by each other the 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.400 rest of the night. He would get me drinks. We're 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.199 locked in. We'd either go to a diner after or 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:45.280 you know, whatever the case may be. Right However, even 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:46.880 wish I even spent my birthday with him. 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.600 He bought a table with yet girl, girl, your birth 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:55.160 my birthday girl. Anyways, So the last time I just 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.240 saw him, I was lit, but I was in my 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.720 feelings and I had to let I had to let 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:03.840 him know. I said, hey, this has to stop now. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.400 When we see each other, it could be a head 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:10.640 nod or a deuces, but let's we don't gotta do 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:12.160 this every time me see each other. And the reason 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.160 it got there is because the last two times he's 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:17.240 seen me, mind you, he did the same thing that 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:20.959 scientists they did. The first mind you we met, probably 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:26.240 back in March, he found out I didn't want kids, 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:27.959 and he ghosted me, stopped hitting me. 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:30.520 Then when we saw each other. 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.599 Again, he came back around, and then we had the 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.719 conversation about me being non monogamous. Hey, girl, when I 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.000 tell you, he just couldn't. It's it's like he was 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:43.040 so amused by me, but also like really confused by 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.319 me at the same time, and so as we like 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.400 kept going, when we would get together and be intimate, 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:52.280 I guess I would say things about like how I 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.199 want us to be mind you, I got my boyfriends now, like, nigga, 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:55.880 you don't wait it too long. 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:57.920 I got niggas down, and I'd let him know. 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.640 And it just got to the point where I kind 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:04.600 of started feeling judged by him because I didn't want kids, 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:07.400 and so we would have bro drunk as fuck. Bro, 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.840 I'm on shrooms, I'm lit. Why are we at two 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.160 o'clock in the morning talking about how I don't want kids? 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:14.839 And so because he wants you to don't want to 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:16.440 have kids. He wants me to want me to have kids. 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:18.319 He wants to believe that I'm gonna change my mind. 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.120 He wants to believe that he could make me change 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.800 my mind because a part of him liked me. But 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.920 he's like, so this is how you are, yes, nigga, 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:25.800 this is how I am. 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.400 Is who I say as someone who doesn't want kids, 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.080 I think you could appreciate as someone who wants kids. 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:34.760 Imagine if I met someone I was in love with 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.200 and they didn't want kids. And then I had a 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:40.560 child with them, how I would feel all the time 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:42.440 in the back of my head, Damn, you didn't really 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.080 fuck with them. Oh no, I vacuum would have been 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:46.680 pulled out with him. I ain't even gonna hold you. 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.400 I don't want kids. But I'm not saying, like the 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.520 way you're trying to make someone like this thing. 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:54.360 It's not even that he was I'll be honest at 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.560 that point, do you think that's. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:57.200 The thing with him? 0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:59.320 I literally the last time I was with him, I said, 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.520 we can stop doing this. I don't want to talk 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:03.120 to you anymore. When we see each other, we can 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.840 be cordial. But also I was like, you cock block him, 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:07.720 because now every time we see each other at the spot, 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:09.840 we stay by each other for the rest of the night. 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.760 And I was like, you don't like how I am. 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:14.800 You like the idea of me, but you keep waiting 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:16.640 every time we talk for me to change who I 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:18.280 am in my mind, and I'm like, no, this isn't 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.520 who I am, Like, I'm not who you want me 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:20.720 to be. 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:25.440 And so I was like, we can stop the back 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.880 and forth. And I literally had to just cut them off. 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.400 And it was interesting because I was talking to my 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.560 friends about it, and they were like, dang, but like 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.280 we liked him, you know you liked him. 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:36.560 And I was like, yeah, but does he like me? 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:41.080 And so what I found last year he said almost 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:44.480 the same thing verbatim as scientists bay. When I had 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:49.320 mentioned that I didn't want kids, their like response was, 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:51.800 so you just want to be a hope for the 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:52.480 rest of your life. 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.600 And I was like, both of them they didn't say 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.480 it like that, but that soish. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.360 That's how I was like, because they were so confused, 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.720 what kind you want to be a hope for the 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:05.280 rest of your life? 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.760 No, that's when the fuck I heard, bitch, And I 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:12.040 was like, no, like, I'd still want to partner I'm 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.200 looking for. Like it's weird because. 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.200 When I asked them, and this is this is the 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:21.160 conversation that I found more interesting when I asked them 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:23.600 why they wanted to be fathers because they're both like 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.400 thirty six thirty seven, make jobs all over two hundred k. 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.960 They nice cars, nice spots, they be out every weekend 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.800 doing the things right. But they're both ready right now 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.400 to be a father. And when I ask both of 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:39.320 them why they want to be a dad, it's so interesting, 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:40.840 And ladies, if you're talking to a man with no 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:44.640 kids who's like now wanting to be a dad, I 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:46.120 was like, so, what makes you want to be a father? 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.320 Bro? Both of them damn near set the same carry 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.440 on my last name, fucking legacy, fucking carry on my 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:54.280 last name. And I was like, yeah, yeah, we too. 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:56.880 Hope your son is a fucking professor. Do you know 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.680 what's crazy about that? Those needs? So I'm asking and 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:01.880 I'm I'm like, okay, so that's it. 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.240 He was like yeah, Like, because my life's not really 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:05.680 going to change that much, but I want to be 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.320 a dad. And I said, that is the most crazy, 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.480 most selfish bullshit, because guess whose life is going to change. 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.800 The woman's like, I have friends right now, like I 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.520 love Deandra and we talk about it so much. She's like, 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:21.040 I'm having to relearn myself as a whole person because 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:22.600 I'm a whole new person now that I'm a mom. 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:24.800 My life is different. I can't just get up and go. 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:25.240 I can't. 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:27.359 And it's crazy that men could be like, well, I 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.520 want to be a dad because I want to be 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:31.760 a dad. It's like they just want to wear the title. 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.800 But they don't like really have the idea of how 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.920 it will change their lives because they have the option 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.240 and opportunity for it not to impact or change that. 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.560 I actually had a guy ask me why I wanted 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.119 to be a mom who didn't want children. Okay, and 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.760 it was first day conversation. I don't even really remember 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:49.160 his name. I remember where I was. We were having 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.520 a cocktail at the public rooftop. And when he said 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.000 he didn't want kids, there must have been a look 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.680 that I had that immediately turned you off. And he's like, 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.840