1 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: Personals with Morgan Juelsman. 2 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 2: It's the second episode of Take This Personally. I'm Morgan. 3 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 2: You may know me from the Bobby Bone Show. I've 4 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 2: always found that it's easier to get through some of 5 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 2: life's challenges when we feel less alone, which is really 6 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 2: why I started this podcast. I'm hoping you can connect 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 2: to one of my guest stories or their pieces of advice. 8 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 2: This week, I have on doctor Solomon first, who is 9 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 2: beyond an expert with over a twenty years of experience. 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 2: She studied psychology and women's studies at the University of 11 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 2: Michigan and she also received her PhD in counseling psychology. 12 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 2: Than I have on country artist Kylie Morgan, who is 13 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 2: a friend and came on to share some of the 14 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 2: most vulnerable moments in her life that led her to 15 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 2: wear her career is now. I'm so excited to talk 16 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 2: to doctor Solomon right now. Thank you for joining me, 17 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 2: and I want to get your expertise on several topics, 18 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 2: but we're gonna dive right into the deep in to start, 19 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 2: I want to talk about trauma and growth. Do you 20 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 2: feel like people have to go through almost traumatic things 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 2: to feel that growth or do you think they can 22 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: still feel that growth without having gone through something terribly bad. 23 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: I love the idea of gentle awakenings right of just 24 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: sort of, you know, as I remember years and years 25 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: ago Oprah Winfrey talked about, you know, sometimes when we 26 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: get the first brick upside our head, you know, the 27 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: first little inkling that we are creating a pattern for ourselves, 28 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: it's painful. If we don't pay attention to the brick 29 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: up side the head, then we will get the entire 30 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: brick wall crashing down upon us. And I think some 31 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: of us, yeah, some of us can get a little 32 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: bit more like, no, no, well I got this. I'm good. 33 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: I don't need help. For some of us, the you know, 34 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: the sort of wake up call has to be louder, 35 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to be that way. As you're saying, Morgan, 36 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: that there's you know, I think we can resource ourselves 37 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 1: at any point in time. It's you know, one of 38 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: the things I do is I teach an undergraduate class 39 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: at Northwestern University called marriage one oh one. Well, those 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 1: students aren't going to get married for you know, any 41 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: number of years, but there's lots that they can learn 42 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: about understanding who they are and what they want and 43 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: need in their intimate relationships. So I like, I'm here 44 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: for therapy early and often I'm here for you know, 45 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: gentle lessons. But I hear you. So did you have 46 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: to learn some things in your life the hard way? Oh? 47 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 2: Yes, I mean I from boweying in high school to 48 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 2: some abusive relationships. I've been through the trenches, and I 49 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: don't wish that upon anyone, but I also look back 50 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 2: and it helped me to become who I am today 51 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 2: in almost an unfortunate series of events. But now and 52 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 2: today I look at that, and when people ask how 53 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 2: and why, I'm like, well, this is where I came from, 54 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: and so of course I would hope I'm better from that, 55 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 2: But you don't hope anybody ever goes through that so. 56 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: Well, and you didn't have to become better for it. 57 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: You could have taken all those painful experiences and you 58 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: could have said, see, that just proves that life is 59 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: unfair and I'm a constant victim and nothing good is 60 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: going to happen to me. Right, that you could have 61 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: taken those experiences and allowed them to make you hardened 62 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: and bitter, and you know, you could have experienced like 63 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: a loss of vitality, and you could have just kind 64 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: of stayed stuck there. And I hear that you have 65 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: done what you needed to do in order to use 66 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: those experiences to fuel you into purpose and passion and 67 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: capacity for joy. 68 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: So that's yeah, absolutely, I've loved that for me, but 69 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 2: I would love that for other people too. So, you know, 70 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 2: do you have any good ideas for people who maybe 71 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 2: have gone through that and they may find themselves in 72 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 2: a very negative space. 73 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I do think part of it is teasing 74 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: apart that thing happened to me versus that thing defines me. 75 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: I think part of what creates the conditions for people 76 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: to get stuck is they can fuse the things that 77 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: happened to them with their identity. And all of us 78 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: are more than any given painful experience. I believe each 79 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: of us is an expression of divine consciousness. Whatever you know, 80 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: each of us belongs to this huge collective of humanity 81 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: and as part of something like far, far, far bigger 82 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: than any one of us. And so to me, whatever 83 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: pathways people use to kind of remember that, whether it's 84 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: movement or music or dance or conversation or prayer or 85 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: volunteer work, like whatever. Those gateways are that help people 86 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 1: remember like, oh I belong, I belong and I'm part 87 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: of something bigger than me. That I think is what 88 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: helps us get clear that the bad experiences we live 89 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: through do not define us. 90 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 2: The older I get, I've been in some relationships at 91 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 2: this point, and just the older I get, the more 92 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,280 Speaker 2: I realize everybody comes with things. You're just going to 93 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: have to accept certain things that you want. Nobody's going 94 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 2: to come perfect. There's going to be baggage along the way, 95 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 2: no matter what. 96 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 3: How that looks is. 97 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: Up to you. 98 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 2: And I just want your kind of advice on for 99 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: so many people because relationships, regardless if they were even good, 100 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 2: maybe they weren't as bad as mine in the dramatic 101 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 2: sense that they were. They're just hard and they can 102 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 2: be traumatic and very hard to move on from. So 103 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 2: how do we jump into another relationship after, say, our 104 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 2: heart gets broken and things are hard. How do we 105 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 2: go into a new relationship and find that level of 106 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 2: vulnerability again? 107 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 1: I think we don't spend nearly enough time talking to 108 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: people about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality and all of 109 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: that good stuff. But we also don't spend enough time 110 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: talking with people about how to break up well, how 111 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: to integrate after laws, how to start over again. I'm 112 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: finding myself doing more and more of that work, even 113 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: with therapists when I'm presenting at therapist conferences, and very 114 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: often I'm talking with therapists about how to help clients 115 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: break up well, heal heartbreak start again, because I think 116 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: that there is not something that therapists necessarily have been 117 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: trained in doing, and it's what you are talking about. 118 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 1: I think heartbreak and relationship endings hurt for all kinds 119 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: of reasons, including literal brain science. Our brains code emotional 120 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: pain in the same way that our brains code physical pain. 121 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: So heartbreak hurts because it hurts. It is painful, And 122 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: I think we sometimes have these like misguided coping mechanisms 123 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 1: where will say to ourselves, it shouldn't hurt like this 124 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,239 Speaker 1: because they were no good for me anyways. It shouldn't 125 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: hurt like this because it was only a three month 126 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: long relationship. It shouldn't hurt like this because whatever my 127 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: friends didn't like them anyways. Well, all that will do 128 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: when we invalidate ourselves, all that's going to do is 129 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: make our healing journey take that much longer because we 130 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: aren't even letting ourselves start the journey. We're invalidating ourselves 131 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: out of the journey versus letting ourselves grieve the loss 132 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: of that relationship. Even if we're the one who ended it. 133 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: You can be the one who ended a relationship and 134 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: still grieve the loss of that relationship. You're losing the 135 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: future you imagined with that person, and you are having 136 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: to let go of what that relationship meant and the 137 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: experiences you had and every grief. You know, grief is synergistic, 138 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: meaning that the grief in the loss of this relationship 139 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: is going to awaken the grief of the loss of 140 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: my father or my grandmother, or that move that we 141 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: had to make, or that tragedy that happened in my community. 142 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: Like griefs chain together. For as hard as it is, 143 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: there's also that opportunity in a breakup to just have 144 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: that season or that chapter of loss and letting ourselves 145 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,440 Speaker 1: just be very much present to that without shrinking it, 146 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: minimizing it, rationalizing it, moving through it, getting the lessons 147 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: and then starting to kind of come up out of it. 148 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: That's a process that if we don't constrict it, it 149 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: will just happen. We will come through it, and the 150 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: goal is to come through it open hearted, rather than 151 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: to come through it kind of scabbed over and hardened 152 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: and cynical. And I think the way that we do 153 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: that is by just letting the loss be exactly the 154 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: length and width and height that it is. 155 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 2: I love that, and I think it's so true. There's 156 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 2: so many people that I know a lot of my 157 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: friends who I've seen them hurt from two month relationships 158 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 2: compared to each sureer relationship sure, And I think there's 159 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 2: something to be said that we bond with people so differently, 160 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 2: and that there is no one size fits all for 161 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 2: everything that's right. It's important to share and reiterate because 162 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 2: I just don't think we hear that enough. 163 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. It was a podcast episode that I 164 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: had done We're One of the points that I made 165 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: is some of us who've had heartbreak, some of us 166 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: who have survived trauma. One of the things that sometimes 167 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: happens is that we no longer fall in love. We 168 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: become the kind of people who step into love, and 169 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: that can feel sad, like I miss the fact that 170 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: you know, when I was younger, before I new hurt, 171 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: like I know hurt. Before that I would fall head 172 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: over heels and I don't do that anymore. Rather than 173 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: seeing that as something that's wrong with us, just allowing 174 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 1: that to be what it is and to know that 175 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: there is not as you're saying, there is no right 176 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: and wrong way to bond with somebody, and stepping into 177 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: love is beautiful. There's a wisdom to that, there's a 178 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: gentleness to that. There's a way that when we step 179 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: into love, we aren't short circuiting our nervous systems, right, 180 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 1: so it can be a kinder process that that's okay. 181 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: I want people to know that that's okay. 182 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 2: I mean I'm someone who's sitting here listening to this, 183 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 2: and I'm like preach yes, because I have done both. 184 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: I have been the woman in the enticing, intoxicating relationship 185 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: and I've also now been in this incredibly healthy relationship. 186 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 2: And i can tell you on this side of things, 187 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 2: on the healthier side, it is so much more rewarding 188 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 2: and enjoyable than the intoxicating situations that we see in 189 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: movies that we think we want. 190 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't perhaps feel intoxicated, but what you do 191 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 1: feel is I imagine safe and calm, and like your 192 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: nervous system is like taking a big exhale, and that 193 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: can feel really different. 194 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 2: I want to talk to you too about the ways 195 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 2: that we invalidate ourselves. I'm guilty of it. I know 196 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 2: a lot of people are of saying others have it worse. 197 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 2: How do we get away from doing that and feeling 198 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 2: that way? 199 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well the only way that I know 200 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: how to do it is with something in something that 201 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: comes from psychology, which is called dialectics. So dialectics. You know, 202 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: our research has shown that a lot of our emotional 203 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: resilience and emotional well being rests upon our ability to 204 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: hold a dialectic. And a dialectic is a space where 205 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: competing truths, where two things are true at the same time, 206 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 1: two things that seem opposite are actually both true. I 207 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: had a terrible day and I am blessed. Those both 208 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: are true. We can be blessed and suffering that both 209 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: those things can be true. I don't have to prove 210 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: that I have it worse than anybody else in order 211 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: to be entitled to my suffering, and the way that 212 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 1: I do that is by holding both my grief and 213 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: my gratitude my courage and my fear, the fact that 214 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: I'm whole as I am and I'm forever a work 215 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: in progress. Like these things that just seem like they 216 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: can't possibly both be true at the same time are 217 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: a's part of the thing that makes being alive so complicated. 218 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: So I think if I have one of those moments, 219 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: I certainly have had those moments where I am just 220 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: in the suck, I am just like suffering and struggling 221 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: and wanting to host a big old pity party for myself, 222 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: and then I'm just like, ah, I'm being ridiculous because 223 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: there are people who have you know, quote unquote actual problems. 224 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: Both those things are true. Yes, I am absolutely blessed 225 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: and I am absolutely you know, burnt out or struggling. 226 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,439 Speaker 1: So that's where I try to go, because You're right, 227 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: if I cannot validate my own suffering, you can bet 228 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: that I'm not going to be able to validate the 229 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 1: suffering of people around me. And then I'm not going 230 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: to be very fun to be around because I'm going 231 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: to be judgmental and dismissive, you know, and like roll 232 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: my eyes at people. And that's not going to be 233 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: a recipe for healthy relationships. 234 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 2: And being self aware is kind of one of the 235 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 2: big buzzwords right now in psychology and therapy. Visit living 236 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 2: up to all the hypes? Should we be focusing so 237 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 2: much on that? And what does that look like? If 238 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 2: somebody hasn't ever heard the word self aware and they're like, 239 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 2: what do I need to. 240 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 3: Do with that? 241 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 2: What would be the first steps you'd tell someone to 242 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 2: get through this first phase to be on that journey. 243 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 1: Self awareness is my that's my jam, That's how I 244 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: spend really all day every day is supporting people in 245 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: different ways to understand with curiosity and with compassion who 246 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: they are and why they are the way that they are. 247 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: And I think it's it is essential if what people 248 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: want is high quality relationships, whether that's relationship with partner, 249 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: relationship with their family members, relationship with their kids. We 250 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: have to be willing to get curious about why we 251 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: are reacting the way we are reacting in any given moment, 252 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: Like that's just the work of it. So I think 253 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: the first step is to just begin to notice how 254 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,319 Speaker 1: we're talking to ourselves, notice when we have rise and 255 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: fall of different emotions during the day, Like just getting 256 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: really curious and starting to view our thoughts and our 257 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: feelings and our behaviors as data. It's just data that 258 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: we then can sit with and wonder about. I think 259 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 1: one of the things, you know, you started off by 260 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: asking about, kind of what's changed in the last couple 261 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: of decades the whole field of self help. As I 262 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: was growing up in the eighties, my mom always had 263 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 1: a stack of self help books next to her nightstand. 264 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: So self help isn't new necessarily, but we're living in 265 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: this really exciting time with social media of podcasts, where 266 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,559 Speaker 1: there's so many resources that somebody can bring in and 267 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 1: I think just listening to different podcasts that are about 268 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: relationships or about psychology, or reading, you know, following different 269 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 1: Instagram accounts there like daily small doses of self awareness work. 270 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: I think those are really gentle ways to start, especially 271 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,960 Speaker 1: if someone's not interested in committing to therapy or something 272 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: like that. But there's little things we can do each 273 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: day to just begin to check in with ourselves. 274 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,199 Speaker 2: How do you suggest I think it's hard for people 275 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 2: to receive feedback. There's criticism and there's unkindness, but then 276 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 2: there's feedback, and because of social media, there is also 277 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: this other side that we've seen this very cruel side 278 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 2: of the world, so it's really easy to loop in 279 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 2: feedback with criticism and negativity. So how do we kind 280 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 2: of look at something like, Okay, this is feedback to 281 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 2: help me, versus this is criticism to hurt me. 282 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: That's right. I think that's a very very good point, 283 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: And it's all about the strength of the relationship. Yeah, 284 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: I will not take feedback from somebody where I have 285 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: a sense that there's an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda, 286 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 1: or a lack of willingness to be in dialogue with me, 287 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: in community with me. I won't take feedback from somebody. 288 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: If I don't have a s that somebody has my 289 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: back or has my best interest at heart, or who 290 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: really can feel the core of me as a good, 291 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: decent person, they don't get the right to give me feedback, right, 292 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: you know. And that so that I think it really 293 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: is about the strength that's I want us to be 294 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: cultivating the kinds of relationships where there's enough trust that 295 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: then feedback feels like a generous gift rather than an attack. 296 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: And that's what there was. Right with my husband, I 297 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: trust that he's in my corner. I trust that he 298 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: has my back. I trust that whatever he wants and 299 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: needs to say to me is in the service of 300 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: everyone in our family feeling safe and understood and held 301 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: and celebrated, rather than to take me down or to 302 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: prove some point or to diminish me. 303 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 2: When I do think in that same area, there's also resentment. 304 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 2: We see a lot of relationships that people feel and 305 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 2: resentment builds up over so much time for new couples, 306 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: for even couples that have been together a long time, 307 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 2: how do you avoid that resentment rut that everybody falls into. 308 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: Resentment is a big one, and I think resentment happens 309 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: when we don't have that ability to give and receive feedback. 310 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: Right If I can't give, if you've shown me that 311 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: you are a closed door and that you will not 312 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: take my feedback, and everything I try to bring up 313 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: with you you flip it back on me, then that's right. 314 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: The absolute side effect is going to be that I'm 315 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: going to build a resentment because I'm biting my tongue 316 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 1: because it feels really difficult to talk to you. So 317 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: resentment is going to be the side effect. It may 318 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: help you in the moment because you don't have to 319 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: deal with the difficulty of me giving you feedback. So 320 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: in some ways you might be like, sweet, this is 321 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 1: easy because she's not riding my ass, she's not telling 322 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: me what I've done wrong, quote unquote. But so the 323 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: moment might feel like it's been solved. But the problem 324 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: is I'm building up a well of resentment because you 325 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: aren't open and available to dialogue. Now, it's incumbent on 326 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 1: me that when I do have feedback for you, that 327 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: I do it in a deeply loving way where I 328 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: convey to you, Morgan, you are my heart, like I 329 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: am deeply invested, and here's what I love about how 330 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 1: things are going, and here's what I value, And I 331 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: really make sure that I am forward and explicit about 332 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: all of the ways I can see you putting an effort, 333 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: trying hard, like ways in which you know I show 334 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,360 Speaker 1: you that I have your back. And then I say 335 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: to you, I want to give you this feedback because 336 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: because of how much I love you, because of how 337 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: much I want the space between us to feel good 338 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: and safe and close. 339 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 2: It sounds like along these same lines that communication is 340 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 2: so important, but it feels like that's the bottom layer 341 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 2: of all of this communicating is where it starts. 342 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: Absolutely, oh, absolutely yeah. And you know, communication is more 343 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 1: than just saying words. It is talking about something, talking 344 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: about my internal experience, my thoughts, my reactions that I'm 345 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: having in my relationship with you, saying in a way 346 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 1: that communicates also empathy and benefit of the doubt. Right. 347 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: Sometimes I I spend quite a bit of my time 348 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 1: in couples therapy with people who are like, I'm just 349 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: expressing my feelings. I can say what i want because 350 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: I'm communicating. Well, communicating isn't. It's not just a free 351 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: for all. We have to be mindful of. We have 352 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: to start with the end in mind. How do I 353 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: want this conversation to go. If I want you to 354 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 1: be open and receptive and to take what I'm saying in, 355 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 1: then I had better start by calming myself down or 356 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 1: like whatever it is. I mean, like literally, like listening 357 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 1: to music, like taking some deep breaths, asking you first, hey, 358 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: like Todd to gesture with me, are you available for feedback? Right? 359 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: There's things that we need to do around communication. It's 360 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: more than just spitting out every single thought and feeling. 361 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: That's you know, knocking around inside of your head. But 362 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 1: we also need to have a set of skills around 363 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,919 Speaker 1: how we make repairs, how we apologize, and lots of 364 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 1: us grew up in homes where we didn't see apology 365 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: and forgiveness modeled for us, so we may actually not 366 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: even know how to make a heartfelt apology. So when 367 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: we do go into that tempson of the time where 368 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 1: we say things, where we speak before thinking, where we 369 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: allow our emotional brain to be in the driver's seat 370 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: rather than our wise brain, we have to learn how 371 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 1: to and be willing to look our partner in the 372 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 1: eyes and say I'm sorry, I don't like how I 373 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: said that, I would like a redo or with our kids. 374 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. It's been incredible talking with you, 375 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 2: and I appreciate you taking some time to come on 376 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 2: and teach us a lot of things that I think 377 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 2: we all needed to hear. 378 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, Morgan, it was a fun conversation. Thanks for 379 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 1: having me. 380 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 2: I don't know about you, guys, but I feel like 381 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 2: I've just been seriously educated on matters of relationships. So 382 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 2: if you feel the same and you want to connect 383 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 2: with doctor Solomon, her website is doctor Alexandrasolomon dot com 384 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 2: spelled Solomo in or you can follow her on Instagram 385 00:19:49,160 --> 00:20:02,479 Speaker 2: at doctor dot Alexandra dot Solomon. On with me right 386 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 2: now is country artist Kylie Morgan. She's had a crazy 387 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 2: journey to get to where she is today with her 388 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 2: career and with her personal life, which is why I'm 389 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 2: really excited to have her on this week. Hi, Kylie, 390 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: thanks for coming on. Please give the people a little 391 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 2: bit of your beginning story just in case they haven't 392 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 2: heard any of this yet. 393 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 4: What's up, everybody, I'm Kylie Morgan. Thank you so much 394 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 4: for having me. 395 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:25,479 Speaker 2: So. 396 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 4: I got my little pink guitar for Christmas from my 397 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 4: papal when I was twelve, and truly there was no 398 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 4: turning back. I told my mom when I learned my 399 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 4: first three chords and wrote my first song on guitar, 400 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 4: I was like, Mom, I'm skipping college and moving to 401 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,360 Speaker 4: Nashville to be a country music card. 402 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 2: You knew very early. 403 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom, My poor mom was just like, oh no, 404 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 4: what did I get myself into? 405 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 3: And I did it though. 406 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 4: I just like was always the kid that said if 407 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 4: she was going to do something, I would figure out 408 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 4: a way to do it, and so it kind of 409 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 4: always made sense that I felt like a fish out 410 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,439 Speaker 4: of water because my mindset and my dream set, I 411 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,440 Speaker 4: would say, it was just so different than anybody that 412 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 4: I went to school with, and so I just kind 413 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 4: of always felt like I was different from everybody. Sometimes good, 414 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 4: but most of the time bad. Dealt with like bullying 415 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 4: all growing up and just kind of being in a 416 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 4: different mindset makes people think that you think you're better 417 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,159 Speaker 4: than them, but truth is, it's not the case at all. 418 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 4: I just think differently and had really big dreams, and 419 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 4: so I started going to Nashville to co write songs. 420 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,879 Speaker 4: When I was fifteen, I met this guy that pretty 421 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 4: much took me under his wing. 422 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 3: His name's Russ Zabatson. 423 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 4: He's been a song plugger for years here in town 424 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 4: and is still one of my favorite people and has 425 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 4: been just a huge part of my story. I pretty 426 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 4: much signed my first indie record deal when I was 427 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 4: fourteen with this super small like company in Oklahoma that 428 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 4: pretty much created their label for me. It was this 429 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 4: guy that was just loved music, and his wife actually 430 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 4: ended up slipping one of my CDs to his LA 431 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 4: music friend and pretty much said what do you think 432 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 4: of her? And there he was like, I think you 433 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 4: should fly out to LA and let me hear her. 434 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 4: And so I went out to LA and played a 435 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 4: song for him with an attitude guitar, but truly from it, 436 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 4: just like we grow from anything that we struggle with. 437 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 4: And so started going back and forth to Nashville at 438 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 4: fifteen and found people that would be willing to write 439 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 4: with me. One of them was a guy named Walker Hayes, 440 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 4: and he was one of the very first people I 441 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 4: ever wrote with when I came to Nashville, which is 442 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 4: insane that he would agree to write with fifteen year 443 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 4: old first of all, and now to see where he 444 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 4: is now, It's just so cool to have that piece 445 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 4: of my story in art history that we have together. 446 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 4: And so I just knew once I walked down Broadway 447 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,680 Speaker 4: for the first time that Nashville was gonna be home. 448 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 4: And so I toured full time, ended up doing sophomore 449 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 4: through senior year online so that I could spend full 450 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 4: time touring and just like figuring out who I was 451 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 4: as an artist, getting my feet wet, going back and 452 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 4: forth to Nashville, writing continuously, and finally at nineteen, I 453 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 4: packed up a bunch of thrift store furniture and moved 454 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 4: to Nashville. I saved up all my money from touring 455 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 4: and was able to buy a house my first publishing deal. 456 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 4: When I moved here and signed my first pub DELA, 457 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 4: I was making twenty k here, which is impossible to 458 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 4: live on, especially in Nashville. 459 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 3: But thankfully, since I bought my house. 460 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 4: I had a room, so like, she paid my mortgage 461 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,679 Speaker 4: and I just had to pay for my food and 462 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 4: so that was the only way I was able to 463 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,120 Speaker 4: survive off of that. But that led to another publishing 464 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 4: deal with a guy named Shane McAnally. 465 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 3: I'm sure that some. 466 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 2: Of you have had another, as you should be bragging. 467 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 4: I met him when I was I think I was 468 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 4: twenty years old, and it was actually when Walker signed 469 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 4: with Smack and Robin Palmer, who is the reason actually 470 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 4: Shane got his first cut ever. I got a call 471 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 4: from her, and long story short, I was in the 472 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,479 Speaker 4: middle of being like, WTF, what am I gonna do? 473 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,040 Speaker 4: I lost my last deal because they lost their investor, 474 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:36,880 Speaker 4: and so like, I moved to town with the deal, 475 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 4: so I never met with any like managers or like 476 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 4: publishers or anything like that because I already moved here, 477 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 4: so no one knew who I was, and I was terrified. 478 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 4: And so I got a call from Robin Palmer and 479 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,160 Speaker 4: I'll never forget this voicemail. 480 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 3: It was like, Hi, this is Robin Palmer. 481 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 4: I heard your songs through Walker Hayes's catalog and I 482 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 4: was just calling because who are you? 483 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 3: And I want to know you? So call me back. 484 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 4: And so I immediately called her back and we got 485 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,000 Speaker 4: a meeting and I've just played her some of the 486 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 4: stuff that I've been working on and she was super 487 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 4: stoked about it, and it played it for Shane. Shane 488 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,719 Speaker 4: came to see me play at the Bluebird Cafe and 489 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 4: I got my publishing deal right after that, and that 490 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 4: led to a management deal, and then three years of 491 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 4: just branding myself, figuring out who I was an artist, 492 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 4: what I wanted to say. 493 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 3: That led to Shane. 494 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 4: Bringing me into Universal, introducing me to Mike Dungan, and 495 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 4: got my record deal and then it was like, Okay, 496 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 4: we're here, right, We've made it. Those are the highlights, 497 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,360 Speaker 4: and it's still a journey from here. 498 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 2: No. I think it's a great to show just how 499 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,959 Speaker 2: far you've come where you are now and what happened 500 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 2: along the way. There was something that really stuck out 501 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 2: to me when you were talking about that and you 502 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 2: were saying you were a fish out of water for 503 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 2: a really long time because of the mindset you had, 504 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 2: and I think for a long time. Especially you and 505 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 2: I are very close in age, and when we grew up, 506 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 2: it was hard to be different. If you were different, 507 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 2: it wasn't understood yet you were wed. Yeah, today, being 508 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 2: different it's like the best thing. 509 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 3: I would world best. 510 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: You're unique, Yes, thanks to talk and all the other 511 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 2: things that are out there. Being that fish out of water. 512 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 2: What do you feel like kind of during that timeframe 513 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: of your life where you're trying to figure everything out 514 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 2: and nothing was really making sense. What was that kind 515 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,719 Speaker 2: of hardest moment for you that you look back on 516 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 2: and you're like, that really kind of changed the course 517 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 2: of my life. 518 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, I actually never forget this moment. When I started 519 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 4: writing songs, I started writing it for me, like I 520 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 4: thought it was just therapy for me. It made me 521 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 4: feel better. I would go home and like lock myself 522 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 4: in my room with me and my guitar and I 523 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 4: would just vent to my guitar and write about what 524 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 4: I was going through. Also, much cheaper than therapy, music 525 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 4: was my healer, and I just always knew that. Like 526 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,479 Speaker 4: at first, when I started making music, I thought it 527 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,359 Speaker 4: was for me. And then I begged my mom for 528 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 4: MySpace music when I was like thirteen, and back then, 529 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 4: like like social media had just started, you know, like happening, 530 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 4: and my mom thought that I was going to get 531 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 4: kidnapped and killed if I like put anything on the net. 532 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 4: And so I like begged her, begged her, and finally 533 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 4: for Christmas, she gave me a MySpace music and she 534 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 4: put it in a little card with a pass and 535 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 4: it was like Mom's trust and I like She's like, 536 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 4: I'm trusting you to get on this. Every time you 537 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 4: type it in, you have to think of me. 538 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 3: And so I went on. 539 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 4: I was write when the MacBooks came out with Garage Band, 540 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 4: and I just recorded just me and my guitar some songs, 541 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 4: put them up and ended up getting a lot of 542 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 4: like plays in traffic from it. Started putting stuff on YouTube, 543 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,919 Speaker 4: same thing, and that led to actually, this is the 544 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 4: moment that I realized music was not for just me. 545 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 4: When I went to Nashville for the first time. That 546 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 4: week of first writing songs, I wrote with this beautiful 547 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 4: human named Liz Hangber and other beautiful human named Rob Crosby. 548 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 4: Liz Hangber has written a bunch of like Riba hits 549 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,200 Speaker 4: and Brooks and Dunn songs, things like that. Rob Crosby 550 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 4: wrote Concrete Angel by Martina McBride and again, for them 551 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,080 Speaker 4: to even agree to write with me was just unreal. 552 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 3: And we go into the room. 553 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 4: We start talking about, you know, what's going on, and 554 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 4: she said, Liz was like, I just want to bring 555 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 4: this up. You know, when you're in a writing room, 556 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 4: you never know what you're gonna write about that day 557 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 4: until you get in there, see where everyone's head's at, 558 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 4: see what everyone's feeling. 559 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 3: And Liz was like, I have this thing wing on 560 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,199 Speaker 3: my heart. I just want to bring it up. 561 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 4: I heard this story of this girl named Phoebe who 562 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 4: I recently kind of dove into, and she was fifteen, 563 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 4: and she recently just committed suicide because of bullying and 564 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 4: dealing with that and couldn't take it anymore, took her 565 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 4: own life. And I was fifteen at the time and 566 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 4: had been dealing with bullying, so like, it was hit 567 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 4: home for me really hard to know that it led 568 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 4: to that for someone else. And so we just decided 569 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 4: to write that story, and we wrote this song called 570 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 4: Phoebe in honor of her and ended up putting it 571 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 4: on YouTube. It got like seventy thousand views in like 572 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 4: three days, and I ended up reading all the comments 573 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 4: and it was just these kids were being like, this 574 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 4: song saved my life, thank you. I was I was 575 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 4: thinking about doing this, and now that I saw the 576 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,639 Speaker 4: effect it had on other people, like I don't, it 577 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 4: was just it was one of the moments I was 578 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 4: just like, music is not for me at all. My 579 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 4: music is yes, it's for me, but it's also for others. 580 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 4: And that's what gave me the inspiration to be like, Okay, no, 581 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 4: this is this is going to happen because I want 582 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 4: I want to help more people through music. And that's 583 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 4: what helped me all growing up was I would, you know, 584 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 4: lean on artists like Taylor Swift, Shania you know, all 585 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 4: those original artists that helped me get through things, and 586 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 4: I wanted to become that for other people. And so 587 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,920 Speaker 4: knowing that that affected I, I didn't want to stop there. 588 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,400 Speaker 4: So I actually ended up starting my own bullying prevention 589 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,439 Speaker 4: campaign called it Matters What We Do, which is a 590 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,160 Speaker 4: line from the song. I ended up touring from schools 591 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 4: all across the country, from pre k all the way 592 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 4: up to university level, and would go and fly in 593 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 4: and talk about bullying and then play and perform and 594 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 4: like make it a fun, you know thing, rather than 595 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 4: adult being like, don't do this. 596 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 1: You know. 597 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 4: It was like a peer to peer thing, and I 598 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 4: would just do meet and greets after and I would 599 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 4: just have kids crying in my arms. That point in 600 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 4: life was just no matter how frustrating the music business gets, 601 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 4: I have to remember why I started music, because that 602 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 4: is the reason why God gave me this talent. 603 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 2: So it gave you this super charged passion. Almost not 604 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 2: only was it something that was like in your blood, 605 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 2: it became something that was like I have to do 606 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 2: this to help others. And do you think, as you've 607 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 2: gotten older, do you look back on that. I know, 608 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 2: for me, like I look back on that and I'm 609 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 2: not thankful for it. That's not the right word. I 610 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 2: don't hate that it happened because it changed the course 611 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 2: of my life. 612 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 3: I cannot wait for you to hear the song. It's 613 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 3: called Me and Girls. 614 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 4: The top of the chorus it says thank God for 615 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 4: me and girls to show me how bad words can hurt. 616 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 4: And the whole point of the song is because all 617 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 4: these bad things happened to me, I got the good 618 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 4: things that. 619 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 3: Truly made me who I am. 620 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 4: And instead of looking back and being like, yeah, thanks 621 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 4: for like spreading all those rumors about me and like 622 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,560 Speaker 4: saying that I'll never get anywhere, and like no, like 623 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 4: I'm not saying that, but I'm saying, like, thank you 624 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 4: for giving me the strength to overcome the words that 625 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 4: you're saying and continuing to find a way to move 626 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 4: forward in that way I know how to deal with it. 627 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 4: And even in my adult. 628 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 2: Life, I think the message that you were constantly sitting, 629 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 2: not only just being an artist, but as a person. 630 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 3: Thank you. 631 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 2: Which is why I was so exciting to have you 632 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 2: on because we get to talk on this like very 633 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 2: human side and it's so much different. I did also 634 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 2: want to talk to you because you know, you do 635 00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 2: have a song that's that went viral still going viral 636 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 2: independent with you. You know, earlier on this podcast, I 637 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 2: was talking to doctor Solomon, who's an expert in basically 638 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 2: all things, but definitely in relationships. 639 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 3: A little bad. I need to listen to that part 640 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 3: of the podcast. For sure, I could always use tips 641 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 3: and tricks on that. 642 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 2: No, but like and she's so awesome, And she talked 643 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 2: about how to have these really refreshing, honest conversations with 644 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 2: the people in your life. What's important about it is 645 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: that you make sure that space is there and that 646 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 2: they're ready to have that conversation. What kind of healthy 647 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 2: things have you and Jay found that work for you, guys? 648 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I'll be honest, Like, so I met him 649 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 4: when I was nineteen, the little baby Kylie, and I 650 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 4: was the girl who was married to her career. I mean, 651 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 4: that's all I thought about. That's all I ever. I eat, breathe, sleep, music. 652 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 4: So it's like I've had a goal since I was little, 653 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 4: and ever since before I met Jay, every relationship I 654 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 4: was in I was forced to choose between the relationship 655 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 4: or my music, Like whether if music was thriving, then 656 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 4: my relationship was in the tank. If my relationship was thriving, 657 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 4: then music was sucking. Like it just was never a balance. 658 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 4: And so truly, when I was nineteen, I saw him 659 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 4: walking down the stairs of this publishing company on music Row. 660 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 3: I was like, that's my husband. 661 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 4: I knew it, and I was just terrified to know it, 662 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 4: but also like wasn't willing to admit that I ever 663 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 4: wanted to get married because I always thought that I 664 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 4: would still continuously have to choose and I just was 665 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 4: always like, oh, I'm the girl that I'll never get married, 666 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 4: and that's fine, Like I'll just I'll be in a 667 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 4: happy relationship. 668 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,600 Speaker 3: We'll be together, but like you know, we don't got to. 669 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 4: Put any label on it, or like the word wife 670 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 4: still terrifies me, Like it kind of grosses me out sometimes. 671 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 4: I just feel like I also haven't always had like 672 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 4: the best examples of marriage in different parts of my life, 673 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 4: and so it just the idea of it just scared me. 674 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 4: I just always thought that one was above another, and 675 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 4: like that's how it was. He for the first time 676 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 4: showed me that I could have both because he treats 677 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 4: me like an equal. 678 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 3: And so for me and. 679 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 4: Us, it is continuously learning about each other in a 680 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 4: way that like when you, I mean this, you know 681 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 4: your taste buds change every seven years, how are you 682 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 4: not going to change every seven years? And continuously growing together. 683 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 4: And I mean we had a mishappen in our relationship. 684 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 4: We were like make or break and we decided to 685 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,080 Speaker 4: go to therapy, which like helped us tremendously. And usually 686 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 4: people are like, especially in the South, they're like, oh, therapy, 687 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 4: like what's. 688 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 3: Wrong with you? 689 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh my god, please change your mindsecaus, 690 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 4: therapy is the best thing in the entire world. Like 691 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 4: it just makes you think so differently, and it gives 692 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 4: you it makes you learn things about yourself that you 693 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 4: didn't even know. So we started doing therapy and we 694 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 4: just applied those things that we learned there in everyday 695 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 4: life and we don't go anymore, but we truly like 696 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 4: learn so much from it. And I think the biggest 697 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 4: thing that we learned is continuously realizing that we're both 698 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 4: going to evolve and we're both going to change, and 699 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 4: we can either do that together or we can do 700 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 4: that separately. And that's how it always ends in divorce 701 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 4: usually when that happens. 702 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 3: And so if we can. 703 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 4: Agree to like continuously grow together and evolve together in 704 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 4: different ways that each other is needing, whatever stage of 705 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 4: life that's in, then that's when we can continuously be 706 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 4: closer and like continuously not feel like it's work. 707 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 2: Kylie, thank you so much. This is so cool to 708 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 2: hear your story and just hear you get really human 709 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 2: with me, absolutely share this side of you. You guys 710 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 2: heard earlier doctor Solomon talk about a lot of things, 711 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 2: and Kylie and I broke down a lot of what 712 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 2: Doctor Solomon and I talked about. Not that Kylie realized it, 713 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 2: but it's cool. You know, when you go to therapy 714 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,520 Speaker 2: and you come in, you talk about it with your friends. 715 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 3: So again, thank you. 716 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 4: Thank you for giving artists and you know, people a 717 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 4: space to come to to just kind of check out 718 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 4: and realize that we're all on a journey and it's 719 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 4: like no one's life is all put together, even if 720 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 4: it seems that way. 721 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 3: And I think it's just. 722 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 4: So cool that you're now giving somewhere some people like 723 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,400 Speaker 4: took place to go for that reminder. 724 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 2: I loved having two incredibly awesome women on this week. 725 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 2: If you want to connect with Kylie Morgan, her music 726 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 2: is everywhere you stream music and her social media is 727 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 2: at Kylie Morgan Music. Now you can go follow the 728 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 2: Instagram page at Take This Personally. You can also hit 729 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 2: us up on the email Take This Personally at gmail 730 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 2: dot com if you have questions or topics you want 731 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 2: us to bring up with experts, whatever it may be. 732 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,439 Speaker 2: Hit us up on either one of those, and there's 733 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 2: simpull interviews. If you go to YouTube at web Girl Morgan, 734 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 2: you will find some full interviews with some of these 735 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,320 Speaker 2: experts and guests that come on. Next week is a 736 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 2: special episode. I'm really excited about this one. Nicole the 737 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,240 Speaker 2: neuroscientist comes on to talk to us all about brain health, 738 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,880 Speaker 2: but not only that, we're also wired to eat bad foods. 739 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,760 Speaker 2: How do we break habits, how do we fix negativity bias? 740 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,360 Speaker 2: And how can you learn to be creative? All of 741 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,960 Speaker 2: these things are helpful when understanding the brain. And then 742 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 2: on that second half, I'm bringing on Jared, who is 743 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 2: my personal trainer and a really good friend of mine. 744 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 2: Not only are we going to talk about physical health, 745 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 2: but also Jared has an incredibly inspiring story from homelessness 746 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 2: to where he is now as a celebrity personal trainer. 747 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 2: And if you love this podcast and you love this 748 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,440 Speaker 2: episode and there's more to come, please goe rate it 749 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 2: five stars. I'm so happy to have you here in 750 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 2: The outpouring of love and support for this podcast has 751 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,880 Speaker 2: been amazing to me, and I'm just so excited to 752 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 2: see how more connected we can be and less alone 753 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,400 Speaker 2: in this crazy, crazy world.