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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My flatmate thinks I tampered with her food, and once

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Speaker 2: the police involved let her column. I twenty female, am

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Speaker 2: sharing a house with two other girls, one of whom

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Speaker 2: is a close friend, and the other girl, Marta, twenty

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Speaker 2: one female, who I didn't know before we were living together.

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Speaker 2: Marta knocked on my door this afternoon and asked to

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Speaker 2: borrow nail polish remover.

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Speaker 3: I don't own any.

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Speaker 2: Then she handed me a jar of mayonnaise and asked

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Speaker 2: me to smell it. It smelled really strongly of chemicals,

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Speaker 2: and it did smell a lot like nail polish remover.

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Speaker 2: She was really upset and asked if I had played

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Speaker 2: a prank on her. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Chocolate Kettle and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separated and I'm Angie,

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Speaker 2: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice goofy,

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Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 3: We know what we would do in this situation, so

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Speaker 3: let us know what you would do.

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Speaker 2: In the comments, I said I hadn't, and she got

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Speaker 2: even more upset. Apparently there was dried glue on top

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Speaker 2: of the mayonnaise as well, and she said that she's

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Speaker 2: going to go to the estate agents or the police

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Speaker 2: to complain and try and get fingerprints from the jar.

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Speaker 2: She also asked if my boyfriend who visited over the

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Speaker 2: weekend tried to pull a prank or something by doing it,

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Speaker 2: So I called and left a message on Facebook. I

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Speaker 2: haven't heard back from him yet, but I really, really.

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Speaker 3: Doubt you would do that.

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Speaker 2: She said that if it turns out that he did,

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Speaker 2: then she won't have him in the house anymore. We're

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Speaker 2: long distance and he visits me every two weeks. My

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Speaker 2: other housemaid has gone home for Christmas, so I know

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Speaker 2: she couldn't have done it, but I also know that

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Speaker 2: I didn't do it. Mart's really upset and angry with me.

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Speaker 2: She didn't outright accuse me of doing it, but she

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Speaker 2: gave me back a jar of peanut.

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Speaker 3: Butter that I had given to her.

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Speaker 2: It was in a care package, and I don't like peanuts,

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Speaker 2: and said, someone's got to start telling the truth, and

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Speaker 2: if you have a problem with me, then tell me, etcetera, etcetera.

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Speaker 4: I really didn't do it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how her food got messed up, and

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Speaker 2: I'm worried that she's going to try and get me

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Speaker 2: punts it out of the house or something. But i

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Speaker 2: really don't know what to do about it, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to check all of my food later on. Any

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Speaker 2: advice please. We do have some comments, but I would

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Speaker 2: love to hear yours.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, I don't even know what you do

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Speaker 5: in that situation.

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Speaker 3: Like where did she just buy it from the store?

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Speaker 5: Was this part of the care package?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Like when did she? When did she buy this?

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Speaker 5: Heise been using it and it's ben fine and only

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Speaker 5: recently there's a problem, or like I just bought this

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Speaker 5: from the store and it's already bad.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: I'm also wondering how she thinks that fingerprints are gonna

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Speaker 2: help when she's been holding it and her fingerprints are

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Speaker 2: on it.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 2: We do have some comments. Population tire says, is it

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Speaker 2: possible that the mayonnaise just went bad. It's mainly egg

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Speaker 2: and vinegar in there, and if it turns it would

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Speaker 2: make a pretty nasty the acrid smell Opie says, I

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Speaker 2: thought that too, but this was a new jar, only

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Speaker 2: a couple of scoops taken out of it, and the

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Speaker 2: chemical smell was really strong. It was exactly like sniffing

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Speaker 2: a bottle of napolish remover. Crotan Chick says, yeah, but

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Speaker 2: it could also be some kind of contamination. See my

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Speaker 2: other comment. My first reaction was that the mayo had

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Speaker 2: just gone off, but I also saw the glue that

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Speaker 2: had been on the top.

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Speaker 3: Of the mayonnaise.

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Speaker 2: It was definitely glue, and I think it might be

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Speaker 2: super glue. The chemical smell is one thing, but actually

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Speaker 2: seeing dried glue with mayo in it means I know

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Speaker 2: the food was tampered with.

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Speaker 3: I just think it must be her.

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Speaker 2: Still, Miss my ex says, just one thing about the

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Speaker 2: going to get fingerprints. I have no idea if the

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Speaker 2: police would take such a request seriously, but it's highly

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Speaker 2: likely that your fingerprints will be on the jar already,

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Speaker 2: even if you didn't touch it when she asked you

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Speaker 2: to smell it.

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Speaker 3: You possibly have touched it by moving it out of

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Speaker 3: the way in the fridge or something.

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Speaker 2: Please update if you ever find out what happened. The

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Speaker 2: mystery of the mayonnaise will drive me insane. Opie says.

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Speaker 2: She handed it to me for me to smell, so

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Speaker 2: my fingerprints will definitely be on the jar. If she

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Speaker 2: goes to the police and says that I tried to

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Speaker 2: poison her, my prince will be on the jar. But

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Speaker 2: mostly I'm worried that she might do something more extreme.

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Speaker 2: Since our conversation, she's shut herself in her room and

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Speaker 2: hasn't responded to me talking to her or knocking. I

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Speaker 2: can hear her talking on the phone, so I think

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Speaker 2: she's physically okay. I'm just going to give her some

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Speaker 2: space tonight and see how she is tomorrow. Miss True says,

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Speaker 2: the obvious answer is that she's mentally ill and she's

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Speaker 2: tampering with food items. Can you try to speak with

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Speaker 2: her family or friends to find out if she needs help.

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Speaker 3: Be careful what you eat.

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Speaker 2: In the meantime, You in her close friends should move

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Speaker 2: out if you can, before the false accusations become more serious.

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Speaker 2: Opie says she's from another country, so I can't get

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Speaker 2: in touch with her family. I don't really know any

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Speaker 2: of her friends, but I could have a look on

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Speaker 2: her Facebook. I don't really want to just message them

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Speaker 2: out of the blue, but I am worried about her.

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Speaker 2: We normally get on, which is why this is so

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Speaker 2: weird for me. As for food, I'm going to keep

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Speaker 2: anything that doesn't need to be your red in my

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Speaker 2: room because I have a lock on my door, and

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Speaker 2: we do have an update from four days later. So Ever,

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Speaker 2: since this whole situation blew up, my flatmate, Marta and

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Speaker 2: I haven't talked. I knocked at her door a few times,

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Speaker 2: but she ignored me, so I figured she wanted some

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Speaker 2: space and I left her alone. I said to her

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Speaker 2: through her door when she was in her room that

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend got back to me and told me that

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Speaker 2: he didn't do it and that I believe him. This morning,

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Speaker 2: I found a note on the kitchen counter. English is

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Speaker 2: in her first language, so I've typed it as she

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Speaker 2: wrote it. It said this to Ope after the situation

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Speaker 2: which happened on Thursday, in parentheses, you putting nail polish

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Speaker 2: remover in my food, which was sent by my parents

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Speaker 2: from Poland. I do not want you to use my

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Speaker 2: possessions anymore. We do not share any plates, mugs, cutlery anymore.

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Speaker 2: I was nice to you when you were nice to me,

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Speaker 2: but trying to hurt me is not a joke, and

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Speaker 2: I am not going to accept that. If I see

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Speaker 2: any of my food gone or any of my possessions

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Speaker 2: being moved again, I'm going to contact the landlord and university.

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Speaker 2: And of my food is being poisoned again, I'm going

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Speaker 2: straight to the police. If a similar situation of you

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Speaker 2: poisoning me happens when your boyfriend is here, I will

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Speaker 2: not hesitate to report you both to the police. I

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Speaker 2: hope you understand, but I don't think you were in

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Speaker 2: situation when someone tried to poison you. Take care, Marta.

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Speaker 2: Update number two So, after reading what you all had

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Speaker 2: to say, I rang my UNI counselor and told her

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Speaker 2: what was going on. She's off for the holidays, but

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Speaker 2: was really helpful anyways. She told me to keep a

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Speaker 2: record of everything and to just be careful, and that

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Speaker 2: everything was now on record at the UNI. I also

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Speaker 2: sent her a scan of the note that Marta left me.

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Speaker 2: I spoke to Marta the day before yesterday. We had

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Speaker 2: been civil to each other the past few days, and

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Speaker 2: she left another note on Thursday that said we're cool,

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Speaker 2: that she didn't want to fight anymore. I had a

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Speaker 2: long conversation with her yesterday afternoon, and it turns out

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Speaker 2: she's on a new medication for her seizures that make

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Speaker 2: her black out sometimes. Hey whoa, Okay, is this.

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Speaker 3: Another hogi down?

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't understand that reference. Everyone references hoking

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Speaker 2: down all the time. I was not there. She was

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Speaker 2: very apologetic, and she said that there's an adjustment period

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Speaker 2: for the meds that she's on, and that the doctor

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Speaker 2: warned that for a few days she might become paranoid

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Speaker 2: or forget what she's done, et cetera.

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Speaker 5: So there's the paranoia.

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Speaker 2: There's a paranoia, and are we still going to figure

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Speaker 2: out what's wrong with the nights?

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Speaker 3: That is true, we do needs to know.

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Speaker 5: She oh Pea smelted too, So yeah, she blackout and

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Speaker 5: ad asses to it.

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Speaker 2: I mean it did see or forget what she's done?

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Speaker 3: So, bab, I don't know. Paranoia solved? Paranoia? Okay.

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Speaker 2: We've been getting on well ever since, and she seems

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Speaker 2: to feel really bad about the whole situation. I'm still

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Speaker 2: being very careful and I'm keeping my non perishable food

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Speaker 2: in my room.

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Speaker 5: Good.

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Speaker 2: Going to the university and getting ahead of this was

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Speaker 2: really helpful. My counselor said that the support office would

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Speaker 2: contact her and keep my name out of it to

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Speaker 2: make sure she's okay. Otherwise, nothing weird has happened, and

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Speaker 2: she seems to be adjusting okay. She's a little jumpy,

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Speaker 2: but not at all hostile or paranoid. Now I think

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Speaker 2: it's going to be okay, but I'll be keeping an

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Speaker 2: eye out for her and updating my counselor on the situation.

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Speaker 2: Thank you guys for your help. The situation had me

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Speaker 2: seriously lost, and we have some comments. Hello Baba says,

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Speaker 2: is the paranoia only supposed to be in the adjustment

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Speaker 2: period or ongoing? If it was just the adjustment period

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Speaker 2: and she's come back to her senses, for example, she

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Speaker 2: realizes you didn't put the nail polish in her food.

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Speaker 3: She may be fine from now on.

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Speaker 2: But if she had never experienced those sort of paranoid

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Speaker 2: delusions before, she would have had a hard time identifying

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Speaker 2: that she was in the midst of one even if

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Speaker 2: she had been warned about them. Opie says she apologized

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Speaker 2: for her paranoid and so that it was something that

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Speaker 2: her GP warned her about. I don't know if it's permanent,

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Speaker 2: but since she's so apologetic and has admitted that she

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Speaker 2: was being crazy paranoid before, I hope it's a temporary thing.

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Speaker 2: I would you have a thought update nineteen days later.

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Speaker 2: I think we're gonna get our answers, really really hope.

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Speaker 5: So either way, at this point, it's like, okay, cool,

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Speaker 5: Like we have figured out why she is so mad,

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Speaker 5: so now we can collectively get on this Mayo business.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and we can all come to an agreement here.

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Speaker 3: I want to know.

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Speaker 2: Today I woke up to find a note that Marta

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Speaker 2: had taped to my dorm. Oh no, it said that

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Speaker 2: she wasn't well, but she also didn't feel safe in

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Speaker 2: the house with me. So she's actually left her course

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Speaker 2: at the university and has gone back to Poland. I

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Speaker 2: had absolutely no idea this was coming. We were getting

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Speaker 2: on fine, and she apologized for accusing me before, so

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty confused. I was woken up by some noise

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Speaker 2: this morning around five am or so, and I think

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Speaker 2: that it was her leaving for the airport.

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Speaker 3: I went up to her room to see if she.

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Speaker 2: Was still around to talk to The note just said

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Speaker 2: that she was going home to Poland and.

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Speaker 3: Her room was stripped clean. None of her stuff was.

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Speaker 2: Left anywhere in the house, and it seems that she's

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Speaker 2: just left for good. I have no idea whether she's

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Speaker 2: contacted our landlord or what. And I have absolutely no

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Speaker 2: clue how to handle this. It's just so confusing and

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Speaker 2: upsetting because I had no idea she was planning to leave.

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Speaker 3: She hasn't paid her share.

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Speaker 2: Of the bills for the last month or from when

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Speaker 2: she was alone in the house during the summer, and

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Speaker 2: I have no clue how to go forward or try

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Speaker 2: and explain the situation to my other flatmate, who wasn't

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Speaker 2: here for all the mayonnaise drama.

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Speaker 3: Marta isn't answering my text or calls. And that's the

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Speaker 3: freaking end of this.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, No, no, But that she put nails

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Speaker 5: in her own maze, I have to assume that I

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Speaker 5: just naturally went bad or something. Maybe she decided to

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Speaker 5: do her nail as well. She made a sandwich or something.

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 2: Whoops, I'm gonna purposefully pour this in and then she's

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Speaker 2: gone forgot about it, and that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 3: We're going on to the next one.

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Speaker 5: My roommate is alarmingly clingy, and I'm at my wits end.

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Speaker 4: Get at it.

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Speaker 5: I Female nineteen moved in with Anna fake name, female

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Speaker 5: twenty at the start of our college semester, and I

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Speaker 5: am already close to losing my mind. She is under

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Speaker 5: the impression that we're a may couple, even though we

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Speaker 5: matched in our school's roommate finder under values personal time.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from appropriate Try ninety four

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Speaker 5: eighty six. And if you want us to make your

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Speaker 5: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 5: I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 5: what we would do. Let us know what you would

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00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 5: do in the comments. She has not stopped talking for

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Speaker 5: even ten minutes of this weekend. She has told me

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Speaker 5: about terrible trauma she has been through. She has also

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Speaker 5: shared with me the deepest and darkest secrets of her

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Speaker 5: best friends, co workers, parents, siblings, old schoolmates, enemies, and

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Speaker 5: has finally run out of people to gossip about, so

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Speaker 5: she has started telling me about her grandparents' early lives.

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Speaker 5: She cuts me off three seconds into any conversation. I

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Speaker 5: have not been able to actually finish a sentence in

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Speaker 5: three days. I am a person who has no problems

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Speaker 5: with confrontation, so I have explicitly said, okay, Anna, that's

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Speaker 5: not something I want to hear right now. Her response

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Speaker 5: is invariably I know, isn't it so effed up? That

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Speaker 5: reminds me of this other girl who? And then she

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Speaker 5: continues talking. I am very blunt in what I say,

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Speaker 5: and she literally will not miss a beat, ignoring me.

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Speaker 5: She talked at me the room. I locked bedroom door

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Speaker 5: for twenty minutes after I told her I was going

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Speaker 5: to bed. Please give me some space, leave me alone.

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Speaker 5: Aside from the talking, she has asked to take my

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Speaker 5: prescription medications to see what it would be like to

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Speaker 5: live like me.

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Speaker 3: I take a stimulant for fatigue.

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Speaker 5: Has asked to come to my parents' house to sleep

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Speaker 5: in my bed with me, scared to sleep in her

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Speaker 5: own bed alone, woman, to try on my clothes and makeup,

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Speaker 5: to have my location, and has admitted to breaking into

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Speaker 5: my room when she was moving in with her parents.

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Speaker 5: She is horror verbably offended if I do not let

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Speaker 5: her cook for me. Even though I've been candid about

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Speaker 5: following a strict diet for health problems, this morning was

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Speaker 5: the final straw. I have a chronic illness that results

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Speaker 5: in extreme chronic fatigue. I take a daily medication to

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Speaker 5: battle this, but mornings are extremely difficult for me. It's

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Speaker 5: incredibly important that I keep my routine and have some

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Speaker 5: calm to wake up. My first class is in eight

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Speaker 5: am across campus. Hers is noon, right across from our building.

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Speaker 5: She set in alarm and pounded on my door at

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Speaker 5: six point thirty in the morning to say good morning

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Speaker 5: to me because I had not answered her text at

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Speaker 5: six am. She told me she woke up early to

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Speaker 5: say good morning to me. She then spent six forty

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Speaker 5: five until I left, using our only bathroom, and was

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Speaker 5: upset that I left without a hug goodbye. I cannot

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Speaker 5: take this. I have explicitly asked for space, for her

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Speaker 5: not to overshare and for her to respect my boundaries.

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Speaker 5: She then moved it moves on to saying I am

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00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,600
Speaker 5: being discriminatory for not accepting that in her culture, this

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Speaker 5: is normal for her and it has to be this way. No,

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Speaker 5: she and I are both first generation immigrants from other countries.

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Speaker 5: For privacy, I will only say that I immigrated from

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Speaker 5: Europe and Anna from Asia. I pointed out to her

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Speaker 5: that we agreed on personal space when we sign up

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Speaker 5: to live together, and she simply will not acknowledge that

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00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 5: this is not what we agreed on. It's been an

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Speaker 5: active battle to be allowed to pee alone in my

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Speaker 5: own damn home. What can I do? She and I

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Speaker 5: are both locked into this lease, and it is three

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Speaker 5: days into a twelve month lease.

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Speaker 3: Advice, I will say that maybe there's.

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Speaker 5: Anyway that this is gonna calm down. Yeah, maybe she's

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Speaker 5: so excited maybe the first first time. However, they were

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Speaker 5: nineteen and twenty, so I'm like, I feel like this

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Speaker 5: isn't her first.

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Speaker 3: Year of school. Yeah, yeah, true.

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Speaker 5: I I personally would make I see, I don't know

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Speaker 5: if they're renting through the school, though, I'd be like,

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Speaker 5: report this to the school somehow to see if they

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Speaker 5: can do anything to help change you guys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, just like I need to level with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that nothing needs to happen, but like

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Speaker 2: I feel like I just need to make someone aware.

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Speaker 3: If I go missing one day, it's.

334
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Speaker 2: Because she she she wanted to wear my skin or

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Speaker 2: something like.

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Speaker 3: That's where we're at. That's where we're at now.

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Speaker 5: Update two days later, I got a new door lock

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Speaker 5: and a camera. When asked, I told her it was

339
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 5: because she admitted to breaking into.

340
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Speaker 3: My room before and I had the right to privacy.

341
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,480
Speaker 5: So far, she has not tried to break in, but

342
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 5: has been super cold to me and will loudly rant

343
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,160
Speaker 5: about me on the phone to her friends while sitting

344
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 5: in our common spaces about how I'm being super sketchy

345
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,120
Speaker 5: and awful to her in her own home. My options

346
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,480
Speaker 5: are super limited unless she tries to do it again,

347
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 5: since it's my word against her and her mom's. I'm

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Speaker 5: hoping this has been enough to deter her for the

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00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 5: short term, and if she's truly this upset about it,

350
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,840
Speaker 5: I hope she'll choose to move out of her own volition.

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00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 5: To clarify. I have another post about her up with

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00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 5: some details changed. Details have been changed here too for

353
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 5: privacy and anonymity, but I have stuck to the core

354
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,080
Speaker 5: issues in both stories. I have been taking your advice

355
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,320
Speaker 5: and have been blunt and frankly fruit to her. She

356
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 5: left over the weekend to visit her brother and his kids,

357
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 5: so I had a few days to myself after her

358
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,280
Speaker 5: cold spell because of my lock she seemed to just

359
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 5: stop caring and went back to exactly how she was.

360
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,760
Speaker 5: I try to hold the boundaries I set, but she

361
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,600
Speaker 5: has not been receptive at all. I tell her she's

362
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 5: too clingy, and she just gets weepy and clingier. I

363
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,960
Speaker 5: tell her I need space and that she's overwhelming me.

364
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 5: She gets weepy and clingy. She comes to my room

365
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 5: every day and she asks if I'm proud of her

366
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 5: for eating, for talking to people, or for cleaning up

367
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,600
Speaker 5: her own messes in our house. She has started copying

368
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:02,360
Speaker 5: my mannerisms when I and anytime I snap, she starts

369
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 5: talking about how cool it is that I'm willing to

370
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 5: stand up for myself, and she's jealous. She admitted she

371
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 5: has been diagnosed with a clinical mental disorder, for which

372
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 5: she should be taking medication, but she refuses.

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Speaker 3: To because it's embarrassing.

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00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 5: She has also taken to eating my meal prep and

375
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Speaker 5: my overnight oats, which is really exhausting because I have

376
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 5: a specific routine to deal with chronic fatigue, and it

377
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 5: took me years to figure out what works for me.

378
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,320
Speaker 5: I have been spending most of my time out of

379
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Speaker 5: the apartment and visiting friends, staying at the library, and

380
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,119
Speaker 5: I have been considering going back to my parents' house

381
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 5: and taking a few days off of classes while I

382
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 5: figure out my option. That is a last resort, though,

383
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 5: as they live a few states away. I talk to

384
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,719
Speaker 5: our leasing office again, and unless I file a police report,

385
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 5: I can't get her out for sure. The good news

386
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,199
Speaker 5: is I have a friend who is moving out of

387
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 5: her place with her current roommate, and her roommate needs

388
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 5: a place and new roommate. I'm gonna see what myself

389
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 5: policing options are. I think my only option is to

390
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,959
Speaker 5: just get out, no matter how blunt or aggressive I

391
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 5: am with talking to her, and no matter how upset

392
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,159
Speaker 5: she gets with me. An hour later, she comes to

393
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,200
Speaker 5: talk to me like nothing happened, and she starts talking

394
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,439
Speaker 5: about how much she loves me and how much she

395
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 5: thinks this year is gonna be incredible. Update three. I

396
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 5: have finally hit a resolution, and we do have a

397
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 5: trigger warning for Update three of mature themes and talk

398
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:29,159
Speaker 5: of genitalia.

399
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,399
Speaker 3: Essentially where I.

400
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 5: Left off, my now female twenty roommate and a female

401
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 5: twenty was being absolutely unhinged after moving in with me,

402
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 5: breaking into my room, asking to take my medication, over sharing, clinging,

403
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,200
Speaker 5: disrespecting boundaries, etc. Since then, there have been several incidents,

404
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 5: but here's the breaking point. After the events of the

405
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 5: last post, I opted to just be disengaged and polite,

406
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 5: but I felt guilty about punting her out. Additionally, I

407
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 5: really need the help with the rent, so I was

408
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 5: trying to make it work. Per my last post, I

409
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,679
Speaker 5: had added a lock on my door and a camera

410
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 5: in my room. The camera ended up being a cheap

411
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 5: piece of trash and never worked, but I thought I

412
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 5: was in the clear just locking my door. Then, about

413
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 5: two weeks ago, I found her air pods in my bed.

414
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 5: When I asked why they were in my made bed,

415
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 5: she accused me of stealing them from her. She went

416
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 5: on to tell me that she must have dropped them

417
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 5: into my room, as in they hit the floor in

418
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 5: the hall and they bounced onto my bed under the covers.

419
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,879
Speaker 5: She also kept up with looking through my meds and

420
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 5: asking to essentially be my live in nurse by distributing

421
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 5: them to me at appropriate times and combating my doctors

422
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 5: on what I should be taking. What actually ended up

423
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,560
Speaker 5: breaking me was about ten days ago. I rarely get

424
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 5: a mental cycle due to specific health conditions, and so

425
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 5: when I do, I am usually in severe pain and

426
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 5: I am extremely hormonal. I ended up getting my cycle recently,

427
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 5: and so oh bot pads. I had a few friends

428
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 5: over to have dinner for my birthday, at which point

429
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 5: she came out and started talking to us. We are

430
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 5: all a fab so we were talking about woes of

431
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 5: birth control and hormones. Anna loudly interrupted me with, oh,

432
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 5: so that's why there are pads in the trash can.

433
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 3: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

434
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 5: We sort of laughed it off and kept talking, at

435
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 5: which point I made the mistake about complaining about my

436
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 5: birth control. I use a type that needs to be

437
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 5: refrigerated when not being used, and I can't afford a

438
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 5: mini fridge from my room right now, so I had

439
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 5: it hidden under a container on my shelf in our

440
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 5: shared fridge. She asked about the kinds of birth control,

441
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 5: so we let her know about pills, inserts, IUDs, et cetera.

442
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 5: She asked about the insert and I sort of explained

443
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 5: but did not tell her about my meds in the fridge.

444
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 5: Fast forward to when I needed to get my birth

445
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 5: control again. It is not in the fridge. I tear

446
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 5: the entire thing apart, item by item. It is absolutely

447
00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 5: not there. I text her, irate, and she responds she

448
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 5: has no idea, but check the cabinets. I tell her

449
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,919
Speaker 5: that she's the only one who could have taken it,

450
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 5: and I know it wasn't me. She insists it wasn't

451
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 5: her and she'll help me find it. Next day, I

452
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 5: go back to the fridge and there it is, in

453
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 5: the very center of my shelf. I am infuriated because

454
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 5: I can't prove it was her legally, and also being

455
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 5: taken out of the fridge for a few hours means

456
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 5: a three month.

457
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 3: Supply is destroyed.

458
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I still cannot afford to replace them,

459
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 5: and with no proof they were even taken, I can't

460
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 5: have my insurance cover a refilm. She even now.

461
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 3: Insists it wasn't her.

462
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 5: When I confronted her about the fact that I know

463
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 5: they weren't there, she says, I might just be forgetful.

464
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 5: She then starts talking to me about getting her own

465
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 5: version of the birth control. She confesses she's nervous about

466
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 5: anything going up and staying and she thinks it'll be weird.

467
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 5: I need to emphasize that I am not responding to anything,

468
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 5: she said, saying, I am just sitting angrily on my

469
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 5: phone in the living room while she's in the kitchen.

470
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 5: Get this, she asks me if I can show her

471
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 5: how to insert the birth control, and plus, she's never

472
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 5: seen a white girl's private parts before I lost it.

473
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 5: I am not proud of a lot of the things

474
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 5: I said, but it boiled down to she's crazy and

475
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 5: I can't stand her. I can't believe she even exists

476
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 5: as a person, and I refuse to live with her

477
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 5: moving forward. I gave her until this semester to move

478
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 5: out where I am contacting her family about her behavior.

479
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 5: Her family is conservative and would react poorly to her behavior,

480
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 5: and I wouldn't actually contact them unless you refuse to leave. Also,

481
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 5: she's already admitted to me that she helped her father

482
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 5: break into my room.

483
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 3: What her dad did it, I.

484
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 5: Told her I will press charges on him. I realistically

485
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 5: have no way, as there's no proof and no damage,

486
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 5: but it still scared her, which was honestly more the

487
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 5: entire She started hysterically crying and accusing me of being discriminatory,

488
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 5: oh my god, hating her for no reason, targeting her

489
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 5: and making up lies. She denied that she ever did

490
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 5: anything and things we've had conversations about, or even things

491
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 5: we've had conversations about prior. It was really concerning because

492
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,159
Speaker 5: it seemed like she honestly didn't know where this was

493
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 5: coming from. Things are wildly tense in the home, and

494
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 5: I have been locking my door with a doorstop when

495
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 5: i'm inside and trying to find a new camera. She, however,

496
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 5: has already agreed to leave, and I already let the

497
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 5: apartment manager know that I will be signing a new

498
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 5: roommate in December. I am really stressed about the next month,

499
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 5: but I feel like the end is in sight and

500
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 5: she understands that I am serious about contacting her family.

501
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 2: I'm almost free.

502
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 5: That is the end of that story.

503
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 3: She's so glad she's getting out of there.

504
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: My roommate called me controlling. Now she's leaving me homeless.

505
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 4: Your words.

506
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven year old female and I have lived

507
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: with my mom all my life. I am from the Caribbean,

508
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 2: so it's normal to live with your parents longer than what.

509
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 3: Most people may consider old.

510
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: My mom is very toxic, super manipulative, and I have

511
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 2: dealt with this.

512
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 3: All of my life.

513
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: I've put up with it for as long as I

514
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: did because apartments are expensive and I'm unable to afford

515
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 2: one on my own. By the way, this comes from

516
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: cost No. Ninety eight twenty six, And if you want

517
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

518
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 2: Okay Storytime.

519
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 3: Supbredda and I'm.

520
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here to give you good advice.

521
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 4: Goofully.

522
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

523
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 3: we would do in this situation, So let us know

524
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments.

525
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 2: My mom lives in a cramped studio that needs heavy updates.

526
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: While I lived with her, she made me start paying

527
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars to stay there and would still ask

528
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: me for money outside of this. I didn't have a

529
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 2: problem paying two hundred dollars, but she was sharing the

530
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 2: room with me.

531
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 3: I had no privacy.

532
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: She would barge into the bathroom while I was using it,

533
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 2: play loud music early in the morning, and wake up at.

534
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 3: Three, four or five am. I'm praying very very loudly.

535
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 2: In June of this year, I went to Jamaica with

536
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 2: my friend to reset and relax because I really needed

537
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: a break. The morning of the trip, when I was

538
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: heading to the airport, my mom asked me to leave

539
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 2: my car for her to use while I was away.

540
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 2: I told her no, my mom has a car of

541
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 2: her own, but it's in very bad shape since she

542
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: doesn't take care of it and let's problems get worse

543
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 2: instead of fixing them, so I didn't feel comfortable leaving

544
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: my car with her. She got upset and said that

545
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 2: when I came back for my trip, she would be

546
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: taking the room for herself.

547
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 4: Fully.

548
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: After I returned home, my mom had packed up all

549
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 2: of my clothing and personal belongings and put them in

550
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: a corner in the living area.

551
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 3: I had to sleep on a chair for a month.

552
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: Doing this started giving me back issues, and it was

553
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: the last straw since she still expected me to pay

554
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: her two hundred dollars for rent. While sleeping on a

555
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 2: chair with no privacy, I started looking for apartments because

556
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: I just had to get out. There's this girl that

557
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 2: I used to be really close friends with but we

558
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: fell out about two years ago because she messaged my

559
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 2: boyfriend on Instagram at two asking for his opinion on

560
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: a situation that had been going on between me and her.

561
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: He screens outed the messages and showed me confused as

562
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: to why she was asking him for advice. I cut

563
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 2: her off after that because I felt that she had

564
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 2: crossed a huge boundary. She reached out to me on

565
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 2: Snapchat in May of this year, saying that she was

566
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 2: looking for my page on Instagram but couldn't find it

567
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 2: since it was deactivated at that time. She said that

568
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: she was checking in to see how I was doing

569
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: and asked if I wanted to go to Jamaica with

570
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: her for her birthday in June.

571
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 3: Honestly, I thought it.

572
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: Was a bit weird because it was so random and

573
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: we hadn't spoken in two years. But I was going

574
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 2: through a lot in May, so I opened up to

575
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: her about what was going on at home and that

576
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: I was looking to move out. She said she'd be

577
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 2: open to moving in with me and being roommates. We

578
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 2: exchanged numbers again and started apartment hunting. We found an

579
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: apartment and managed to get the money to move in

580
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: at the time, I had used all the money for

581
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 2: the move, so I had none left to get the

582
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 2: electricity connected. I was honest with her about it and

583
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 2: said that I'd stick it out with my mom for

584
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: two more weeks until I got paid. She said that

585
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 2: that didn't make sense and offered to pay for the

586
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 2: light connection herself, and when I got paid, I could

587
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 2: just give her the money back. I asked her if

588
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 2: she was sure, and she said yes. I went to

589
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: the power company with the money she gave me, but

590
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 2: the connection cost about one hundred and forty dollars more

591
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: than what she had given me. I called her and

592
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 2: told her this, and she said that she'd send her

593
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 2: boyfriend to give me the remaining one forty to get

594
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 2: the lights connected.

595
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 3: Fast forward to July.

596
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 2: First we moved into the apartment. My boyfriend bought me

597
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: a bed set and addresser to store my clothes. She

598
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: saw me setting up my bed and texted me saying

599
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: it was unfair that she had to sacrifice her money

600
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 2: to get the light turned on for both of us

601
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: while she had to sleep on an air mattress and

602
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 2: I was sleeping on a mattress. I was like, ooh,

603
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 2: what I asked her several times if she was sure

604
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 2: that she could pay the full amount, and she said yet. Furthermore,

605
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 2: my boyfriend bought me those things. This second incident happened

606
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: before we moved in. We had agreed to split everything,

607
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: including groceries. After she told me how she felt about

608
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 2: the light situation, I was thrown off and I told

609
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 2: her I'd rather we each get our own groceries instead

610
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 2: of splitting them.

611
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 4: No, no, she would pay it, but she's going to

612
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 4: say something pay it.

613
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: She said that I was changing my words, and that

614
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 2: she thought we were doing this together, and that I

615
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 2: was being fake and using her all because I wanted

616
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: to buy my own groceries.

617
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 3: Incident number three.

618
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: The first night we moved in, her boyfriend slept over,

619
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 2: and then he slept over about three more times that week.

620
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 2: One of the things we had agreed on was not

621
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: letting our boyfriends sleep over so much that felt like

622
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 2: they were living there. There was one occasion when I

623
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 2: went to use the restroom in my underwear and saw

624
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 2: her boyfriend's car parked outside. She hadn't even told me

625
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 2: that he was there. Once he left, I told her

626
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: to let me know when he's coming over, so I

627
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 2: can dress more appropriately. She said, I was not going

628
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 2: to let anything happen. I told her that that's not

629
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: the point, just communicate when he'll be there. His roommate

630
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 2: is like, Oh, don't worry, I'm gonna make sure that

631
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 2: my boyfriend doesn't do anything if you're not dressed appropriately,

632
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: and she's like, no, the point is this. I just

633
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 2: don't want to be dressed inappropriately around your boyfriend.

634
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 3: That's what No one said that he would do anything

635
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 3: like that.

636
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 4: Boy he's just gonna look.

637
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: After that, her boyfriend started coming over more frequently. She

638
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 2: would text me around twelve am to say he'd be

639
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 2: spending the night, but I wouldn't see those texts until

640
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 2: the next day. That bothered me, so I asked if

641
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 2: she could let me know by nine PM when her

642
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: boyfriend would be staying over, so if I heard someone

643
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 2: coming in super late, I would know it was him.

644
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: I usually go to bed by ten PM and don't

645
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: see her late messages until the next morning.

646
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 3: This made her super upset because she.

647
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 2: Said that I was policing her and that she shouldn't

648
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,479
Speaker 2: have to communicate by nine if she's paying rent and

649
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 2: he's in her room. My roommate said she's a grown

650
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: woman and if she's paying bills, then she should be

651
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: able to bring her boyfriend over whenever she wants, and

652
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: I should just be fine with it. She said she'd

653
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 2: stop just bringing him over entirely, which she did. We

654
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 2: had another sit down about two weeks later, and she

655
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 2: said she'd communicate by nine when her boyfriend was spending

656
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: the night, and had no problem doing so. Fast forward

657
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 2: to September. My boyfriend, who doesn't live in the same

658
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: countries I do, came to visit and wanted to spend

659
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: the weekend at my place. Had seen him in four

660
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: months and a week in advance. I told my roommate

661
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 2: that he'd be staying over the following weekend. She replied okay.

662
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: Three hours later, she texted again, saying that she wasn't

663
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 2: okay with it and was uncomfortable with him sleeping over.

664
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: She said it was unfair that her boyfriend stopped sleeping over,

665
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: which was her decision while mine was spending three nights

666
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 2: at the apartment. I asked her what exactly she was

667
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 2: uncomfortable with and told her that he was going to

668
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: stay regardless. Since I had given her a week's notice,

669
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: I was confused because when we sat down the month before,

670
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: she said it was fine to communicate by nine pm.

671
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: When her boyfriend was coming over, she'd text me as

672
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: they were pulling into the driveway. After midnight, She then

673
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 2: went to the landlord, who reached out to me, asking

674
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 2: for all three of us to meet. The meeting was

675
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 2: long and drawn out, with four hours long, and I

676
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: basically told them both that I didn't care anymore if

677
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 2: or when her boyfriend slept over because the back and

678
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: forth was too draining. Her boyfriend still didn't visit up

679
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: after that, saying he was uncomfortable with communicating by nine

680
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 2: if he wanted to stay the night. I told my

681
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 2: roommate it didn't have to be strictly nine, it could

682
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: be nine thirty to ten. She said that she had

683
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: an issue with that, and as a grown woman twenty five,

684
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: she shouldn't have to communicate anything about her boyfriend. Fast

685
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 2: forward to this Monday, I received a text from my

686
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: roommate saying she would be breaking the lease and leaving

687
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: the apartment. I asked what this meant, since we both

688
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: signed a one year lease that doesn't end until July

689
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 2: twenty twenty six. She said she spoke to the landlord

690
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 2: and her last day in the apartment will be November thirtieth.

691
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 2: I reached out to the landlord to find out what

692
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: this meant for me. She gave me three options, move

693
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: out November thirtieth, same time as my roommate, find a

694
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 2: new roommate to continue splitting rent with, or pay the

695
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: fourteen hundred dollars rent on my own.

696
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 3: The landlord then.

697
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 2: Told me I have until November first to let her

698
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: know which option.

699
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 3: I'm going with.

700
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: I think this is unfair because having less than two

701
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 2: weeks to figure something out that was just thrown on

702
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: me is unrealistic.

703
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: And there is a little bit more to the story.

704
00:31:59,240 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.

705
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 6: Facebook marketplace has a great place to find roommates.

706
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 3: Actually that's also a Facebook marketplace, so it's place.

707
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I wonder what you if you could tell

708
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: the landlord too, like maybe I can pay that rent

709
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: for like the month, like the full rent for the month,

710
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 2: and then if I find a roommate, like I can

711
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 2: try to find a If I find a.

712
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: Roommate in that time, can I add them on you

713
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 3: know what I mean?

714
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, it'll be tough to figure out.

715
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure the land That would seem pretty lax

716
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 2: for a landlord to do.

717
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we do have a little bit more of

718
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: this story.

719
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 2: I reached out to my mom and explained to everything,

720
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 2: asking if I could move back home temporarily until I

721
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 2: figured out my living situation. My mom told me that

722
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: I would have to pay her five hundred dollars of

723
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: rent to move back home. I would still have no

724
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 2: room and but still be sleeping on a chair. When

725
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: I asked my mom what exactly the five hundred dollars covered,

726
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 2: she just replied, I have bills too. I'm kind of

727
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: unsure what to do right now is I have no options.

728
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 2: I have no other family members that I can stay

729
00:32:58,320 --> 00:32:59,959
Speaker 2: with for a few months, and I tried posting out

730
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 2: on Facebook to find a new roommate, but honestly, after

731
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: this situation with my now ex friend, I'm kind of

732
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 2: scarred from rooming with someone else.

733
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: Any advice, Nah, you're doing it, you're doing it. Yeah,

734
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 3: you're doing it.

735
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 4: Or you could go to a church.

736
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 2: Another option I'm thinking of is like, if your boyfriend

737
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: gave you like a mattress and everything. I wonder if

738
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: you can convince your mom to be like, Okay, Well,

739
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 2: if I'm paying rent, then I'm going to turn this

740
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: living room into a room and I'm gonna just move

741
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: my bed in here, because you know what I mean.

742
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good point.

743
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 3: You got options.

744
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 4: It's tough, it's tough.

745
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be hard for a minute, obviously, but I.

746
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 4: Believe in you.

747
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 3: I believe that you can figure it out. Good luck,

748
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: good luck. But that's the end of that story.

749
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

750
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors

751
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Speaker 1: that keep the show alive.

752
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Speaker 4: My fiance pays other women while I drown in debt,

753
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Speaker 4: keeping US afloat.

754
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Speaker 3: Stop paying them.

755
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Speaker 4: And there is a trige warning for emotional oh.

756
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Speaker 6: I twenty eight female, have been in a relationship since

757
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 6: I was twenty with my now fiance thirty four mail.

758
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 6: When we started dating, I was just about to turn

759
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 6: twenty and he was about to turn twenty six. I

760
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 6: had a very difficult home situation where I was emotionally

761
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 6: mistreated by my family. I grew up being tormented to

762
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 6: the point where it gave me anxiety, depression and PTSD.

763
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 6: I haven't spoken to my family in seven years. By

764
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 6: the way, This comes from user Scarlet which sixty nine.

765
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 6: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

766
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime starbot it.

767
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly.

768
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 4: We're here. We're here right now to give you a

769
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 4: little bit of a good ad Az goofle to him. No,

770
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 4: we don't have all the answers, you know. We only

771
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 4: know what we'd do, so if you do something different,

772
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 4: let us know. In the comments, and.

773
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 6: Op says, I was working at a gas station when

774
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 6: I met my now fiance, Chad.

775
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 4: Of course it's a Chad.

776
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 6: He would flirt with me until one day my manager

777
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 6: gave him my phone number and he asked me on

778
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 6: a date. Everything about him seemed perfect. He listened to

779
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 6: everything I had to say, and I gave him a

780
00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 6: brief synopsis of my life, including my family situation. He

781
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 6: came over that night after the date to meet them

782
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 6: and saw it all firsthand. My stepmom basically told him

783
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 6: she didn't trust him or me. After that point, whenever

784
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 6: we went on a date, he refused to come inside

785
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 6: or be anywhere near my parents. He said if he

786
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 6: was forced to be around them, he would end up

787
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 6: yelling at them, and he didn't want to do that

788
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 6: in front of me.

789
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 4: But he also felt like he couldn't control himself. This

790
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 4: guy is the guy that sounds perfect.

791
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 5: Mmmm.

792
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 4: Also, I don't know.

793
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: I've been around a lot of annoying people and I

794
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 3: don't have to control. Yeah, I'm able to control the

795
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 3: urge to yell at them.

796
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 4: We can have self control. That's that's we got. We

797
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 4: can do that.

798
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 3: That's a little concerning to me, and I.

799
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 6: Don't what concerns Well, maybe perfect was just a misnomer embellishment,

800
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 6: but I think after one date, I don't think we

801
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 6: can tell if a guy's perfect.

802
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 3: Well yeah, I think people embellished that after they're like,

803
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 3: this guy's perfect and then he's not.

804
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 4: Everything seemed perfect. He listened to me once. I probably

805
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 4: should have seen that as a red flag right from

806
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 4: the start, but I didn't. My parents saw it as

807
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 4: disrespectful and did everything in their power to convince me

808
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 4: to break up with him. This drove me right into

809
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 4: his arms. He would come pick me up to.

810
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 6: Get me away from them, and he made me feel

811
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 6: special and beautiful. A couple of weeks into our relationship,

812
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 6: he revealed that he had a son from a previous

813
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,919
Speaker 6: relationship A couple of that's something you do pretty much immediately.

814
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 4: Though, yikes. The story I got was his.

815
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 6: Baby mama was psycho and wouldn't let him see his

816
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 6: kid and told the son that the man she was

817
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 6: with currently was his real dad and hot Chad. This

818
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 6: should have also been a red flag, but I trusted

819
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 6: him fully. Fast forward a couple of years and he

820
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 6: reveals that he never intended to get married, and if

821
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 6: that's what I had in mind, then I should either

822
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 6: get rid of that thought or leave the relationship.

823
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 4: And that should have been our cue to leave.

824
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what we want. That's the end.

825
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 6: He said his view on relationships had been ruined because

826
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 6: of his parents splitting up and the drama with his

827
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 6: baby mama. I thought maybe I could change his mind,

828
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 6: so I stuck it out. Three years into our relationship,

829
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 6: he proposed and said that I changed his mind about

830
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 6: relationships in marriage. I got excited and immediately started planning,

831
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 6: including picking a date two years in the future. He

832
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 6: then started telling me that he felt like he was

833
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 6: being rushed into marriage and that this wasn't what he wanted.

834
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 6: When I asked him what he wanted, He refused to

835
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 6: tell me and instead got angry. I stopped discussing wedding

836
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 6: plans and we have not discussed a wedding since.

837
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 4: Fast forward to twenty twenty two.

838
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 6: The day after Christmas, he spontaneously quit his job without

839
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 6: a backup plan. Then he started working at his buddy's

840
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 6: mechanic shop for cash under the table. The shop was

841
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 6: already struggling, so there were many weeks where he would

842
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 6: just not accept any pay and would literally just go

843
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 6: there to hang out. Sometimes he would get paid in

844
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 6: the devil's lettuce instead of cash.

845
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 4: What right?

846
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 6: I had to get overtime and do everything in my

847
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 6: power to make extra money. About four months, the mechanic

848
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 6: shop went under completely. Now Chad was back to square

849
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 6: one with no job, and I was paying all of

850
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 6: the bills on my own. He then accepts a job

851
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 6: as a farm hand for one hundred dollars a day.

852
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 4: That worked out great for about the first week and

853
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 4: a half.

854
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 6: After that, the man who had hired him started calling

855
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,439
Speaker 6: him less and less. He was making absolutely no money

856
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 6: and I was busting my tail to make sure the

857
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 6: bills got paid. He would also pick up scrap metal

858
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 6: for cash but this was usually only around forty to

859
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 6: one hundred dollars per load. Shortly after work started slowing

860
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 6: down at the farm, I started picking up on weird

861
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 6: behaviors with his cell phone. I noticed he never left

862
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 6: it unattended. The phone practically comes in the shower with him.

863
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 6: He had been leaving his phone on the towel rack

864
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 6: next to the shower so he could see it from inside.

865
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 3: He's suspicious.

866
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,240
Speaker 4: I know what he's doing. I know what he's doing.

867
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 3: That's pretty suspicious.

868
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 6: No no, no, no no no no no no no

869
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 6: no no, no, no.

870
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 3: No, that's totally normal.

871
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,320
Speaker 4: He's waiting for job applications.

872
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 6: He's submitting all kinds of job applications.

873
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 3: He gets pop up notifications whenever there's scrap metal near him.

874
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's a got him middle near you. He's got

875
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 4: the metal detector app.

876
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 3: On hot scrap metal in your area.

877
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 4: Fast forward to June twenty twenty three.

878
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 6: Literally a week after I signed our updated lease agreement

879
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 6: for another year, he cashed out his entire retirement plan

880
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 6: from his previous job, which was only about twelve thousand.

881
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 6: He blew through that entire check in one month on

882
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 6: toys he didn't need. Including a new cell phone. One day,

883
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 6: I was sitting in the bedroom and he was outside

884
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 6: mowing the lawn with his new phone, but he had.

885
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 4: Forgotten to turn off the old phone.

886
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 6: Someone sent him a text message and the old phone

887
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 6: received the notification. I looked at it and saw it

888
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 6: was a woman that I didn't know he was friends with.

889
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 6: I went through the messages and saw some of the

890
00:39:53,600 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 6: most disgusting things I've ever seen. Photos, videos, propositions for

891
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 6: spicy mouth stuff, and for every single one of them,

892
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 6: he was paying her out landish amounts of money. She

893
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 6: would send him two photos and charge him seventy five

894
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 6: to one hundred dollars.

895
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 4: That's a whole day's worth a scrap it.

896
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, this guy doesn't even like he's not even making

897
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 3: enough money to support OP and M, and he's sending

898
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 3: all of that money that he does get to this.

899
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 6: This is immediate, like just pick up and leave. Don't

900
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 6: say a word, get away, get out, get.

901
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 4: Out of there. We can say anything, get out of there.

902
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 6: Chad is very old fashioned and doesn't do money transferring apps.

903
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 6: He does everything with cash, so that meant he was

904
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 6: meeting up with this woman multiple times a week to

905
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,399
Speaker 6: pay her in cash in person for her pictures. When

906
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 6: I asked him where he was getting the cash from

907
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 6: since he wasn't working, he revealed it was all from

908
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:54,919
Speaker 6: his scrap metal runs.

909
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 3: Sang, scrap metal runs are lucrative.

910
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 4: He was giving her about seven five percent of his

911
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 4: earnings and only bringing home about twenty five percent. I

912
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 4: confronted him immediately and left. He spammed my phone crying

913
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 4: and begging for me to come home, saying that he

914
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 4: was a pig and that he would never do it again.

915
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 4: I went home and he told me he was going

916
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 4: to cut things off with her anyway. Stop it.

917
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 3: Don't fall for it, Opede, don't fall for it. I

918
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 3: can feel you falling for it. Don't fall for it.

919
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 6: I told him that I would not believe his apology

920
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 6: until he told someone else what he had done.

921
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 4: I wanted him to.

922
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 6: Tell his own mother, who had recently been cheated on,

923
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 6: but he refused because he didn't want to ruin his

924
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 6: relationship with her. He instead promised he would never speak

925
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 6: to the other woman again.

926
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 4: Why and that's what he stays. That doesn't matter.

927
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 3: It's not what you asked for, and he isn't gonna

928
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 3: do what you asked for so you're gonna leave right.

929
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 6: A few months later, I found out he was still

930
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 6: trying to proposition her for spicy orse.

931
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 3: He was why did we think he wasn't?

932
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 6: She reached out to me to say he had been

933
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 6: messaging her. I had decided to stay with him when

934
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 6: I found out the first time. After talking to her,

935
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 6: she revealed that he had told her I was boring

936
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 6: and never did anything for him spicily Sleepily.

937
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 4: I confronted him again, ready to break up with him.

938
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,240
Speaker 4: He told me she was lying, and.

939
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 3: We didn't believe him.

940
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:14,720
Speaker 4: Right.

941
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 6: He was my first relationship, in my first real love,

942
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 6: so I blocked her again and believed it. It took

943
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 6: a big toll on me mentally and caused me to

944
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 6: lose complete trust in him. We now track each other's location.

945
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,399
Speaker 6: There are still times when he's not where he says

946
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 6: he is. If I confront him about it, he immediately

947
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 6: gets angry, saying that the mistake he.

948
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 4: Made was in the past and that I need to

949
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,439
Speaker 4: move on you. I agree, you should move on from

950
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 4: him exactly.

951
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 6: By this time, he had finally gotten another job on

952
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 6: the books after not having one for about nine months,

953
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 6: but his hours started getting shorter and shorter. If he

954
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 6: went in and was in a bad mood, he would

955
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 6: just pick up his things and leave. He would stay

956
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 6: up all night on his phone and then call out

957
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 6: of work. He constantly called out to go hang out

958
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 6: with friends. This job doesn't provide paid time off, so

959
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 6: if he calls out, he's not getting paid. It started

960
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 6: feeling like he was becoming dependent on the fact that

961
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 6: my job and my.

962
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,320
Speaker 4: Paycheck helped pick up the pieces.

963
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 6: I have no savings, and I'm over eight thousand dollars

964
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 6: in debt from credit cards I've maxed out and personal

965
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 6: loans I've had to take out to.

966
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 4: Pay our bills.

967
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 6: Fast forward to early summer twenty twenty four and I

968
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 6: walk in on him texting long paracists to another.

969
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 3: Girl I just saw. I don't know. The definition of

970
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 3: insanity is doing the same thing over and over and

971
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:39,280
Speaker 3: expecting a different result.

972
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 6: He quickly shuts the phone off and claims it was

973
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 6: a friend from high school, mindy, asking if there were

974
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 6: apartments available.

975
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 4: In the area.

976
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 3: And we didn't believe him, right.

977
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 6: I didn't know he had been talking to this girl

978
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 6: or that they were close enough for that art. I

979
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 6: also didn't understand why she was reaching out to him,

980
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 6: considering she's married with two children. I looked it up

981
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 6: on Facebook and realized she looked exactly like the first

982
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 6: girl I caught him cheating on me with. I kept

983
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 6: my mouth shut and couldn't get my hands on his

984
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 6: phone again to get real proof.

985
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 3: But why do you need real proof? You already have

986
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,280
Speaker 3: proof that he's cheated on you multiple times.

987
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 4: You are drowning and putting, and that's where the proof is.

988
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

989
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 4: Fast forward to June of this year.

990
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 6: He went to a friend's house and accidentally left his

991
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 6: Apple Watch behind. I went into his text messages and

992
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 6: found the conversation with Mindy. He was offering to give

993
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,359
Speaker 6: her rides on his motorcycle, which he hadn't even offered

994
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 6: to take me on yet. I then found a conversation

995
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 6: where she was saying that her kids had been taken

996
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 6: away by CPS because of substance use and she was

997
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 6: being forced to go into a treatment facility. Her husband

998
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 6: was looking for a place to rent, and she was

999
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 6: asking Chad if she could come and stay with him

1000
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 6: after she got out.

1001
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 4: Chad, instead of telling.

1002
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 6: Her he was in a relationship, told her, sorry, I

1003
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 6: just don't have the room, but I'll give you money

1004
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 6: and help in any other way. I can so again,

1005
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 6: barely working and almost never giving me any money, but

1006
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 6: the minute another woman asks him for money, he suddenly

1007
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 6: has tons of it.

1008
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 4: I paid the entire election bill.

1009
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 6: Every month, the entire Internet bill, all of our subscriptions,

1010
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 6: and all of the loans.

1011
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 4: I pay for the entire propayn delivery, and the entire

1012
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 4: grocery bill.

1013
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 6: I literally pay for everything, and every now and then

1014
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 6: it'll contribute fifty to one hundred.

1015
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 4: Dollars to me. We are three thousand behind on rent.

1016
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 6: We have a pass do amount on our electric bill

1017
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 6: of fourteen hundred, and that doesn't even include.

1018
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 4: The eight k of debt I've racked up.

1019
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 6: The only bill he's responsible for is his car insurance,

1020
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 6: which is just over two hundred dollars a month, yet

1021
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 6: somehow he has led it lapse three times in the

1022
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 6: last year and a half. He doesn't even have a

1023
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 6: phone bill because his rich aunt pays for his phone.

1024
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 4: Out of curiosity, I did the math.

1025
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 6: If he can make four hundred a week, that'll be

1026
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 6: approximately sixteen hundred a month. His half of the bills

1027
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 6: comes to approximately seven hundred and seventy eight. This leaves

1028
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 6: him with an extra eight twenty two a month he

1029
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 6: can use for his car insurance whatever he wants. But

1030
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 6: he claims he keeps buying tools off of the tool

1031
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 6: tre and half of his paychecks go towards that, and

1032
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 6: the other half goes towards people he owes money to

1033
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 6: for his devil's lettuce. So when he gets a paycheck,

1034
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 6: he uses it all paying other people for things he

1035
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 6: doesn't need, and then whatever he has left over he

1036
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 6: uses for gas and snacks.

1037
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,879
Speaker 4: Once again, I'm left with nothing for the bills. Back

1038
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 4: to the Apple Watch. I then kept scrolling through the

1039
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,839
Speaker 4: messages and found some labeled dirt Bike two.

1040
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 6: The only text message I saw was basically about how

1041
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 6: they'd been meeting up and he thought everything was okay

1042
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 6: and now he can't get her out of his head,

1043
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 6: and that his friends keep.

1044
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 4: Telling him to drop it, but he can't. Girl. I

1045
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 4: know that you're like, I need evidence that he's cheating.

1046
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 4: He already cheated on.

1047
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 3: You, like multiple times, And you know he already had

1048
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 3: that proof that he already cheated on you multiple times, so.

1049
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 4: We don't need any more approof he did it already.

1050
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 3: I think op, he's just very afraid of being alone

1051
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 3: and is being gas lit by this guy and just

1052
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 3: believes it because she doesn't want to be alone. Because obviously,

1053
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 3: you know, like if this were a situation where she

1054
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 3: felt like she was in danger or like threatened, it's

1055
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 3: a different story. And you know, it makes sense why

1056
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 3: she might be scared to leave, But it doesn't seem

1057
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 3: like we're in that. So yeah, I don't know.

1058
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 6: So I copied the phone number and texted her from

1059
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 6: a fake number, asking who she was.

1060
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 4: She told me she's a girl's girl and will tell

1061
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 4: me anything.

1062
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 6: But as soon as I told her who Chad was,

1063
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 6: she started sending two word responses and eventually stopped answering.

1064
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 6: She claimed that nothing happened and that she thinks he

1065
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 6: and I should have a conversation. When I tried to

1066
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 6: get to the bottom of the text message, she ghosted me.

1067
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 6: I started to have suspicions that maybe it was his

1068
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 6: baby mama, So I looked her up on Facebook and

1069
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 6: lo and behold, he and her were friends on there,

1070
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 6: and when he told me he had blocked her, I

1071
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 6: still haven't confronted him, but I'm ninety five percent positive

1072
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 6: that dirt Bike.

1073
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 4: Two is her. Yeah, you should be one hundred percent positive.

1074
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 3: Probably some gotta be more positive about that. Come on, now,

1075
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: trust your gut man, trust it.

1076
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 6: So now I'm in a position where I know that

1077
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 6: he is still talking to not one, but two women

1078
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 6: behind my back. Dirt Bike two didn't even know how

1079
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 6: he was in a relationship and was very shocked to

1080
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 6: find out we had been in one for eight years.

1081
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 6: I am one hundred percent convinced he is not being

1082
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 6: faithful to me. I no longer have any trust for him,

1083
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 6: and because of that, I have grown a lot of

1084
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 6: animosity towards him. It's getting to the point where I

1085
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,919
Speaker 6: genuinely feel like I don't have any love for him,

1086
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 6: because all I see is this person who's still lying

1087
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 6: to my face while treating other women better than me

1088
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 6: behind my back.

1089
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 4: If one of these girls sends him a long.

1090
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 6: Paragraph text message, he reads through the whole thing and

1091
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 6: sends them back another message of equal length and emotion.

1092
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 6: If I send him a text message that's more than

1093
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 6: two sentences, I get yelled at that I'm bothering him

1094
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 6: and he doesn't have time to read all that. So

1095
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,359
Speaker 6: many people have told me to just leave him but

1096
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 6: my name is listed on the rental agreement and my

1097
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 6: credit will tank if this goes unpaid. Confronted him yet,

1098
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 6: because I know as soon as I do, he's just

1099
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 6: going to leave, and then everything will really fall on

1100
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 6: me until I'm able to leave when the lease is

1101
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:08,399
Speaker 6: up next May.

1102
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 4: Wait.

1103
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 3: So so, so, if you break up with him, he'll leave,

1104
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:13,800
Speaker 3: and the rent that you're paying.

1105
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 4: For you have to pay for op continues.

1106
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 6: The extra one hundred dollars or so a month that

1107
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 6: he contributes is the only thing that ensures I can

1108
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 6: eat some days, or put gas in my car, or

1109
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 6: get to work.

1110
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 4: What are we doing?

1111
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean, if you truly think that you cannot

1112
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: afford to live without him, then then take a minute,

1113
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 3: I guess, don't break up with him right away, and

1114
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 3: start looking for new jobs. Start looking for a second job,

1115
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:47,760
Speaker 3: Start scrap start looking for cheaper apartments when your lease ends,

1116
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 3: you know, start doing the scrap metal thing. Apparently that's

1117
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 3: super lucatic.

1118
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 4: Start scrapping, girl. It's time to get scrapping, or to come.

1119
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 3: Out, get a roommate.

1120
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 6: Literally, any solution other than like, I can't break up

1121
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 6: with him because I need one hundred dollars a month, like.

1122
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 3: One hundred dollars. We can get that in a lot

1123
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 3: of places. Girl, Come on, we can get that just

1124
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 3: we just gotta do some research now.

1125
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,920
Speaker 6: So they usually send us the lease agreement to review

1126
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 6: and sign a few months before it comes due, so

1127
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 6: I'm expecting to receive it sometime in February. This is

1128
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 6: when I plan to confront him, so that way we

1129
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 6: both have time to get our affairs in order and

1130
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 6: find a new place to live. But I know he

1131
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 6: is not going to contribute during that time, and the

1132
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 6: amount that we are past due in rent is just

1133
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 6: going to skyrocket.

1134
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 4: It puts me in a position.

1135
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 6: Where I'm gonna have to be the one to pay

1136
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 6: that balance if I don't want to see my credit suffer.

1137
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 6: So I'm going to have to work on paying that

1138
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,280
Speaker 6: back on top of paying rent for a new place,

1139
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 6: which is most likely going to be more expensive. Paul

1140
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 6: and all, I'm no longer happy. I don't trust him

1141
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 6: and I know I'm still being cheated on. My concern is,

1142
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 6: after everything that I went through, am I truly just

1143
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 6: being psychotic? Or do I have a reason to be suspicious?

1144
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:59,240
Speaker 6: What am I doing the right thing? By ending this relationship. Yes,

1145
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 6: Or since we've been together for so long and he

1146
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 6: was my first true love, should I continue to fight

1147
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 6: for it?

1148
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,919
Speaker 3: Wow, dang, you're fighting Demon's girl. Leave him.

1149
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 6: I hate how hard that the pop culture phenomenon of

1150
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 6: like first love and true love has like brainwashed people

1151
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 6: into thinking that, well, because of that is a thing.

1152
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 3: You have to leave.

1153
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,240
Speaker 4: No, you should have left the first time he cheated

1154
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 4: on you.

1155
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 3: You literally said you don't love him.

1156
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 6: Let this be a lesson to everybody. You should have

1157
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 6: left the first time he cheated on you.

1158
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1159
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 4: on to the next one. Hey, it's John here.

1160
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories.

1161
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 4: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1162
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 4: that keep the show going.

1163
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 3: My boyfriend's ax is living rent free in his house

1164
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 3: while we struggle with rent.

1165
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 4: This story's about to live rent free. In my head,

1166
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 4: I can already tell.

1167
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 3: I'm thirty two, female and moved to England when I

1168
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 3: was nineteen. My parents had me very young, nineteen and twenty.

1169
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 3: I was obviously not planned and they only stayed together

1170
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 3: because of me until I was seven. We lived in

1171
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 3: my dad's dad's one room flat until then. But aside

1172
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: from that, my dad didn't really contribute much financially or emotionally,

1173
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 3: and I consider myself to have been raised by a

1174
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 3: single mom. By the way, this comes from chessu And

1175
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 3: if you want to spend your own stories, go to

1176
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 3: the raslash Okay storytime separed at Ii'm Sofia.

1177
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Keon.

1178
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofy, But we

1179
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. Billy, you know what we'd do,

1180
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 3: so let's know what you do in the comments and

1181
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 3: no pie Sas we definitely struggled. We moved around a lot.

1182
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 3: By the time I was ten, I had moved six times.

1183
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 3: Our homes were always clean and warm, there was always

1184
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 3: food on the table, but they weren't always in the

1185
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: best areas, and my mom didn't always have her own room.

1186
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 3: At times she had to drive pizza taxi in her

1187
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 3: used two door car before uber eats was even a thing.

1188
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 3: All of my extracurriculars were the free kind at local

1189
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 3: community centers, and I spent quite a lot of time

1190
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 3: alone taking myself to school. Since I was seven, had

1191
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 3: to sort my own food for lunch, et cetera. We

1192
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 3: couldn't afford pets, phones and computers were considered purchases, and

1193
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 3: when I did get anything, it would never be the

1194
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 3: popular model. I never knew we were poor, but I

1195
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:19,320
Speaker 3: knew we weren't rich. Regardless, I consider my childhood relatively happy. Today.

1196
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 3: My mom is incredibly accomplished. She has three degrees, wow,

1197
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 3: a great job, owns her city center flat outright, and

1198
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,359
Speaker 3: is free to live her life how she pleases. I've

1199
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 3: learned to always aim to be independent, pay my own way,

1200
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 3: and give back where I can. This is to highlight

1201
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,760
Speaker 3: how my partner and I came from completely different upbringings

1202
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: and understandings of money. I moved to London at twenty two.

1203
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 3: I did receive some financial aid from my grandparents, probably

1204
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 3: roughly one year's worth of rent and essential expenses. The

1205
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,280
Speaker 3: rest I covered with part time jobs and university grants.

1206
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 3: Aside from this, I've never lived at home or received

1207
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 3: any other financial aid from my family. I have paid

1208
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,879
Speaker 3: for every bill, food, shop, holiday, etc. On my own,

1209
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 3: and I'm proud to say I've never had an overdraft,

1210
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 3: even on a salary that started at twenty K, and

1211
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 3: never exceeded thirty k. Obviously, this has come with sacrifices.

1212
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 3: I've only ever lived and shared housing with issues like mold,

1213
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 3: no working appliances, shoe box rooms, and a heavy drinker

1214
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 3: borderline aggressive housemates. Six months ago, I lost my job

1215
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,959
Speaker 3: and flat on the same day. If my partner didn't

1216
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 3: step up financially, my only option would be to move

1217
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 3: back home after thirteen years. I've wanted to move in

1218
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 3: together for a while anyway, but now this became a

1219
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 3: necessity after a lot of back and forth of not

1220
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 3: committing on his behalf. When push came to shove, he

1221
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 3: insisted on getting a flat together and said he would.

1222
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 4: Be good for it.

1223
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 3: He's the guaranteur, so legally speaking, the risk is all his.

1224
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 3: My partner, thirty five mail of a little over two years,

1225
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 3: met his ex thirty five female when they were sixteen,

1226
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 3: both living abroad with their families. My partner thinks his

1227
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 3: parents barely get by, but from the stories he tells

1228
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 3: me they went to Disneyland, New York, Laplan's Skiing Trips

1229
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: in America plays in London, I think his understanding is

1230
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 3: a bit skewed. They were never really struggling and certainly weren't.

1231
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 3: By the time he was sixteen, he followed his ex

1232
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 3: to her hometown, a big city smaller than London. He

1233
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 3: went to university, she didn't. Shortly after, his grandma passed

1234
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 3: away and he inherited a house amount of money, so

1235
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 3: the two of them have virtually never paid rent. The

1236
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 3: house is a well kept three bed, two and a

1237
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 3: half bath with a large living room, garden and allocated

1238
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 3: parking space.

1239
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 6: This is like, this is given the same energy of

1240
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 6: that interview with Victoria Beckham. Yeah, David Beckham comes in

1241
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 6: and he's like no, no, no, no, no, he.

1242
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 3: No tell him, tell him, well, your dad drove yeah,

1243
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 3: and she's like no, it's not like that. He's like no,

1244
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 3: tell him, yeah.

1245
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:04,320
Speaker 4: And what was it? I don't remember the thing.

1246
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 3: Of like ravery, like rigetable wanting to like couse play

1247
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 3: as orsplay as the pool. Yeah, it's it's weird as

1248
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 3: the pooler. Expenses were probably close to fifty to fifty

1249
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,760
Speaker 3: on compulsory costs, though he contributed to all refurbishing, furnishing

1250
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:25,439
Speaker 3: and upkeeping. He's always had expensive taste, from tops to tech,

1251
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 3: and takes a lot of pride in the house. So

1252
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 3: That's probably where a lot of his money went. They

1253
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 3: also went on a fair share of holidays. Eventually he

1254
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 3: started working in London, so car expenses racked up. He's

1255
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:41,919
Speaker 3: actually currently five thousand pounds into his overdraft. That's bad.

1256
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:42,879
Speaker 4: That's a lot of weight.

1257
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 3: By the time they were in their mid twenties, they

1258
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 3: had effectively grown apart. She never left her own town,

1259
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 3: He worked shift work in London and was away for

1260
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 3: more than half the month. In the mix of avoidance

1261
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 3: and convenience, they didn't end the relationship and got pregnant

1262
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 3: after contracemption failed.

1263
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:01,879
Speaker 4: Well that's not good.

1264
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,839
Speaker 3: Which kids are expensive.

1265
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 4: As tale as old as time.

1266
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 3: He'd never wanted kids for a variety of reasons, but

1267
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 3: money was up there. Turns out she did, and ultimately

1268
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 3: she had the final say. They had the child. He's

1269
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 3: come around to it now and loves her more than anything.

1270
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:23,560
Speaker 3: But he literally went on antidepressants initially, and whatever was

1271
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 3: left of the relationship was no more. They split officially

1272
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 3: when the kid was about three. At that point, he

1273
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 3: was covering all the house expenses, coming to about five

1274
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 3: hundred pounds a month, roughly what the official child support

1275
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 3: would be, and was doing all the DIY jobs. He

1276
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 3: was covering most everything else. This arrangement worked up until recently.

1277
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 3: She now lives there full time and pays two hundred

1278
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 3: pounds towards bills. He visits every other weekend. Initially we

1279
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 3: had a friends with benefit arrangement. We'd been friends for

1280
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 3: years before, and he covered a bit more of the

1281
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 3: going out expenses whilst I was still covering all my expenses.

1282
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 3: Now we're in a situation where the London rental market

1283
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: is so insane. I wasn't able to secure anything on

1284
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 3: my own being unemployed, so we got a room and

1285
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 3: a shared flat together, which totals at a thirteen hundred

1286
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 3: pounds or six hundred and fifty pounds each.

1287
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 4: I've just it's funny to put it that way.

1288
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 6: I think what the London rental market is now so insane.

1289
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 6: I can't get an apartment while I'm unemployed.

1290
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 4: It's like, well, oh, I mean yeah.

1291
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I understand what you're saying. Yeah,

1292
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 3: but also the London rental market.

1293
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 4: It is I'm just saying it's a funny way to

1294
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 4: put it.

1295
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like it's crazy I have to have a

1296
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 6: job to pay rent.

1297
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 4: People won't let me get an apartment when I have

1298
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 4: no job. What kind of world are we living in?

1299
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 3: Finding something big enough, in the right location, good condition,

1300
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 3: that would accept benefits and couples and had a breakout

1301
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 3: clause this was a rare. My income, even with benefits

1302
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 3: and a freelance job, is currently probably no more than

1303
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 3: a thousand pounds, with sixty five percent going on rent.

1304
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 3: I've not received any of that payment yet, and I'm

1305
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 3: living out my redundancy payout. The job market is rough,

1306
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 3: my mental health has been in the gutter, and it's

1307
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 3: difficult to focus on job search when you're sleeping on

1308
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 3: a new sofa Every two weeks. I paid the deposit

1309
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 3: and verse month's rent, so he already owes me. I've

1310
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 3: cut down spending. Our date nights have dropped to about

1311
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 3: once a month and are driven by deals and fast food.

1312
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 3: I managed to get a free gym membership and walk

1313
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 3: there thirty five minutes through a not so great area,

1314
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 3: barely bought anything for myself, etc. From what I understand,

1315
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 3: he has tried to cut down some expenses, like changing

1316
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 3: the insurance on his house, canceling some subscriptions, and the

1317
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 3: AX is now paying half the bills, but clearly that's

1318
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 3: not been enough. After taxes, pension and student loan is

1319
00:59:56,840 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 3: take home salary without any overtime is probably about twenty

1320
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 3: three hundred pounds. Excluding the car costs, which she only

1321
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 3: has to see as kid house expences, and no our rent.

1322
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 3: They should probably leave them with up to one thousand

1323
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 3: pounds a month on everything else, which in twenty twenty

1324
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 3: five is doable, but objectively on the tighter side. I'm

1325
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:19,960
Speaker 3: not sure what the X is on for sure, but

1326
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 3: I imagine her take home after taxes plush child benefit

1327
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 3: is probably at least twenty five hundred pounds. A two

1328
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 3: bed in the area would be at least a grand

1329
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 3: and that's on the lower end, which their current home

1330
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 3: certainly isn't. If she paid rent but received child support,

1331
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 3: her net would probably be around fifteen hundred pounds. At

1332
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 3: the moment, her net is twenty three hundred pounds, regardless

1333
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 3: of what the actual number is. Rent is estimated to

1334
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 3: be thirty to fifty percent of your costs costs that

1335
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 3: she's saving on. Just looking at the things I can see,

1336
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 3: it's obvious they're not struggling. She's been on four all

1337
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 3: inclusive holidays during half terms in the last night nine

1338
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 3: months each at least fifteen hundred pounds poop. The five

1339
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 3: year old got an iPad for her birthday on top

1340
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: of a big birthday party outside the home. She has

1341
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 3: so many toys my boyfriend literally had to build a

1342
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 3: shed to store them, and goes to a minimum of

1343
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 3: three extracurriculars a week and at least one requires additional equipment.

1344
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 3: They have several Disney and Netflix subscriptions running every month

1345
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 3: several The mom has a fancy least car, Apple, phones,

1346
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 3: and watches as regular hair and nail appointments. A lot

1347
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,919
Speaker 3: of this is luxury, and yes she does spend fun

1348
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 3: money on the kid as well, but she can only

1349
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:42,040
Speaker 3: do that because she has the extra money. That'd be

1350
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 3: all well and good if both parents, particularly the one

1351
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 3: who actually owns the home and doesn't qualify for the

1352
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 3: same external aid, a single mum would wouldn't have to

1353
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 3: be borderline homeless. Right now, the situation is entirely unbalanced.

1354
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 3: You can't even cover half the rent with me, let

1355
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 3: alone get anything from He refuses to ask her for

1356
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 3: rent because there's no rent on the house, and she

1357
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 3: doesn't ask me for any of the kid's expenses. I

1358
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: shouldn't be blaming him for wanting the best for his kid,

1359
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 3: and what she spends her money on is not of

1360
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 3: my business. I have no interest in living in the house,

1361
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 3: and I don't care what she actually spends her money on.

1362
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 3: But I do care that my partner would be able

1363
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 3: to pay his share of rent, which does affect me.

1364
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 3: If he's short a few hundred, I can't see why

1365
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:30,040
Speaker 3: she can't be contributing that towards the rent in the

1366
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 3: house that she's been living in rent free for fifteen years.

1367
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 6: So what I'm hearing is you're like, this doesn't affect me,

1368
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:40,200
Speaker 6: but it affects me, and I don't care what she

1369
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 6: spends her money on, but I do care.

1370
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 4: It's like, I think we just need to take her

1371
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 4: out of the equation.

1372
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 6: Figure out Yeah, you're you know, with her outside of her,

1373
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 6: because it doesn't sound like there's any way to approach

1374
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 6: that's that's going to be changeable.

1375
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you can't do anything about their situation, but

1376
01:02:57,320 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 3: you do have to have a talk to your partner

1377
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 3: and say, like, hey, understand that you're paying a lot,

1378
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 3: but you know, we can't go on like this and

1379
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 3: that we got to find allusion. Yeah uh oh, he continues,

1380
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 3: I don't understand why having a child excuses someone from

1381
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 3: all necessary financial responsibility. If she dropped down to two

1382
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 3: or three holidays a year, that would probably already make

1383
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 3: up the difference. He won't go through court because his

1384
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 3: worst case scenario is her moving out completely now having

1385
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 3: an empty house in a city he doesn't live in,

1386
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 3: and child support on top of that, and then and

1387
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 3: then you would rent it out and you would get

1388
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 3: more money telling the house would be and seeing the

1389
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 3: kid in an hotel and still being out of pocket.

1390
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 3: I do get that this is a complicated situation, but

1391
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 3: it's not a sustainable one if he wants to have

1392
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 3: a life or home of his own, regardless of me

1393
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:48,160
Speaker 3: being in the picture. An edit, just to be clear,

1394
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 3: her spending would be none of my business if it

1395
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 3: didn't bleed into his financials and by proxy into mine,

1396
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 3: It would be fine with a fifty to fifty split

1397
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 3: between us, and maybe expect him to step up a

1398
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 3: little more. Will I find my feet? But this came

1399
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 3: up more aggressively this week when rent was due and

1400
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 3: he wasn't good for it and claim there was just

1401
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,040
Speaker 3: nowhere else to get the money from. AKA, it's my

1402
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 3: problem to sort. We absolutely do not see eye to

1403
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 3: eye on this, and in an argument he told me

1404
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 3: to run this by my therapist, but I thought Reddit

1405
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 3: would have more of a variety of options.

1406
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:26,000
Speaker 4: What was your therapist? An accountant? What do you look?

1407
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 4: I think you should probably just not live in London. Yeah, unfortunately,

1408
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 4: the reality of your situation.

1409
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, maybe you can't afford to live in the most

1410
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 3: one of the most expensive cities in the world.

1411
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 6: I mean, if it's not like you need to be

1412
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,959
Speaker 6: in London for your career, your job, because that's where

1413
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 6: it is. I don't you know, I don't think that's

1414
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 6: where you need to be.

1415
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 3: Update. Well, clearly I am the ale as far as

1416
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 3: this comment section is concerned. I really do struggle to

1417
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 3: see how my opinion is this controversial. The opinion being

1418
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,920
Speaker 3: that both parents, housing and essential needs should be covered

1419
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 3: before any extras and luxuries, regardless of whether I'm in

1420
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 3: the picture or not. But clearly it is a running

1421
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 3: theme in the comments seemed to be that I want

1422
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,640
Speaker 3: a man to pay for my expenses instead of his child.

1423
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,160
Speaker 3: Well that's not true, hope, he just wants him to

1424
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:20,760
Speaker 3: pay for his own expenses. That is not true, and

1425
01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 3: I don't know why it's coming across that way. I

1426
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,200
Speaker 3: just want him to be able to pay his share, which,

1427
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 3: as it turned out two days ago, he isn't able to.

1428
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 3: And the only way he's cold going forward is renegotiating

1429
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 3: his financial agreement with his ex, who, in real money terms,

1430
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 3: is almost certainly far better off than he would be

1431
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 3: without him, or with any legal requirement in place. And

1432
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story. Good luck, Opie.

1433
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 3: I hope that you guys are able to figure out

1434
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 3: your financial situation, because it might just mean you are

1435
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:52,240
Speaker 3: not able to live with this guy who can't afford

1436
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 3: to live in the place that you live together.

1437
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 4: Yeah. I just don't I don't like any of that.

1438
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 4: I think you shouldn't move to Sussex. Yeah, And that's

1439
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:03,160
Speaker 4: the end of this story.