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Speaker 1: I feel terminally ill, but my a whole boss illegally

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Speaker 1: forced me to work. So I got revenged and did

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Speaker 1: something completely unexpected.

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Speaker 2: Expect the unexpected from OP.

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Speaker 1: When I was in my early twenties, I worked at

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Speaker 1: a supermarket. I should note that I was a pretty

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Speaker 1: reliable employee. I was never late. In fact, I often

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Speaker 1: got in early and rarely ever called in sick.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like an excellent employee. Great employees, you want you're hired? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: come work for us? Yeah seriously.

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Speaker 1: At the time this happened, I had not called in

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Speaker 1: sick for nine months, nine long time.

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Speaker 2: That's a whole ass baby. That's the whole ass baby.

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Speaker 1: Baby, a human baby. Well, pregnancy, I guess a baby

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Speaker 1: can be forever. Oh what a bear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think babies stop being babies.

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Speaker 1: At two I had been up all night swinging between

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Speaker 1: burning hot and freezing cold, so I was obviously feverish.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that.

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Speaker 3: Sounds feverish to me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty clearly, doctor, But you are sick.

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Speaker 1: You are sick. Uh And I had been throwning up

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Speaker 1: at both ends. We shall say, Oh, no, that is

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Speaker 1: a doesn't paint a pretty picture. No, it doesn't unless

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Speaker 1: you want to paint in brown, m and green, the

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Speaker 1: whole color spectrum. At one point, at about two am,

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Speaker 1: I was on the toilet, head in sync, utterly miserable.

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Speaker 1: Now I must have passed out because the next thing

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Speaker 1: I knew, I was lifting my head off the sink

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Speaker 1: and it was seven am. She went from two am

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Speaker 1: to seven am. Oh my god, there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: throwing at both ends. Damn, did you can't do anything

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Speaker 1: in this state? Now? I was due at work at

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Speaker 1: twelve that day, but obviously that was not going on.

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Speaker 1: There's no way, not a chance. So I called the manager.

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Speaker 1: Let's call this manager, Steve, Ah Steve. I hate Steve

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Speaker 1: kidding we love these Steve. Yeah, no, I definitely hate you.

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Speaker 2: I let John always doubles.

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Speaker 1: I always double down, always double down.

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Speaker 2: There's like people are getting mad at us for ragging

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Speaker 2: on the UK and like making fun of British people,

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Speaker 2: and they're like, why do you hate British people so

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Speaker 2: much on this podcast? Because they suck?

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Speaker 1: I gave they asked for. They asked a question, I

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Speaker 1: gave them an answer. So back to our manager, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Steve was known for being a real a hole. Stop breathing.

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Speaker 1: Uh he never believed anyone who called in sick except

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Speaker 1: his best buds usually other managers. Never us slowly plebelian

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Speaker 1: staff members.

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Speaker 3: Why don't you got respect for the staff, Steve?

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Speaker 1: With some respect from the staff. Respect. But here's the thing, boys,

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Speaker 1: Steve often called in sick himself.

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Speaker 2: This hypocritical bast Steve is an ais gaping aus.

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Speaker 1: Gaping just like the everything bagel. Uh And a lot

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Speaker 1: of the time we knew it was because he was

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Speaker 1: hungover and not actually sick.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so an alcoholic hypocrisy, just.

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Speaker 1: Adding to the list, Steve. So this was the conversation

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Speaker 1: from the phone call as follows. Let's here John Me, Hey, Steve, Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I can't come in. I'm sick, Steve with what me?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It might be the flu. I've been

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Speaker 1: up all night sick and I have a really bad fever. Steve.

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Speaker 1: Don't be stupid. If you had the flu, you'd be

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Speaker 1: completely knocked out. I need you come in or you're fired. Me.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I just told you I can't stop vomiting

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Speaker 1: and I passed out, Steve growling angrily. Yeah, I believe

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Speaker 1: you either come in or bring a doctor's note, or

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Speaker 1: you're fired. She is a terrible boss, see like the

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Speaker 1: absolute worst and honestly, Sam, I'm so glad we could

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Speaker 1: quit our jobs to start this podcast.

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Speaker 2: No more terrible bosses, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Mean and ask you guys, does how does that even work? Well?

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Speaker 2: With Anchor, you can literally record or edit a podcast

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Speaker 2: from your phone or computer.

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Speaker 1: And they'll pay you with no minimum listenership like this

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Speaker 1: podcast and Anchor is what allows us to not have

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Speaker 1: bosses like Steve.

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Speaker 2: Yeah mcdub podcast money. So if you want to join

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Speaker 2: Anchor and quit that terrible boss and terrible job, go

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Speaker 2: to anchor dot fm or download the Anchor app to

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Speaker 2: get started, Hey and sorry your own podcast. Do it.

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Speaker 1: In the UK, you're legally allowed to self certify for

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Speaker 1: five days, so that means you're allowed to basically report

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Speaker 1: and sick without a doction note anything, which is good

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Speaker 1: pretty care, thank you, Harry pol Ray Wizardy HOWI you

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Speaker 1: have healthcare now? This means you can tell your employee

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Speaker 1: are sick and you don't need a doctor's note, and

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Speaker 1: if you're sick for more than five days then you

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Speaker 1: do need to know. It's also illegal to demand a

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Speaker 1: doctor's note during the self certified period. Of five days. Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's lock Steve up.

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Speaker 3: Steve's going to You're committing to legal activities, Steve, and

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Speaker 3: we're not liking it.

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Speaker 1: No, we're not. That's rush. Now. I knew this, but

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Speaker 1: I was terrified. This was during the recession and I

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Speaker 1: couldn't afford to lose my job.

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Speaker 2: So during the recession, you mean, right now? A financial doom?

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Speaker 1: Not good? So I got myself dressed. I almost passed

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Speaker 1: out trying to do so, and then I trudged over

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Speaker 1: to the doctor's office, some twenty five minute walk away,

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Speaker 1: and she walked, God in the UK, sick man, that's crazy,

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Speaker 1: say again.

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Speaker 2: They don't have cars in the UK.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 2: Actually only take the cab, the trully.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's right. I ain't got no horses or broomsticks,

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Speaker 1: soy god, yeah we can telepole. Can't just stick a

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Speaker 1: twig between my legs and just go here and fro Now.

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Speaker 1: I ended up sitting in the doctor's office for a

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Speaker 1: little over an hour, which for a walk in was

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Speaker 1: actually pretty good. I get in to see the dog

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Speaker 1: and she is furious at me for coming in, Like,

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Speaker 1: how dare you be sick and coming for help? Tell

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Speaker 1: your organs to stop now. Slight side note. When I

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Speaker 1: was in high school, we had a drumline instructor who's

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Speaker 1: like favorite catchphrases. His catchphrases were like incorrect or that's

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Speaker 1: not good enough. So we used to have a joke

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Speaker 1: where if you were sick, that's his catchphrase. That was

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Speaker 1: his catchphrase. He actually was amazing, but he just didn't

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Speaker 1: tolerate any any mediocrity. So we would we would have

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Speaker 1: a joke where we're basically like, anytime someone's sick, you

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Speaker 1: would tell your body incorrect and you was force your

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Speaker 1: telling me to start chilling the virus inside.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh good time. Only he was around for Corona.

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Speaker 1: You know, we could use you, John Levera, come come back.

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Speaker 1: The doctor said, you're not supposed to come to the

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Speaker 1: doctors when you have the cold of the flu, And

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Speaker 1: of course I knew I should be able to self certify.

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Speaker 1: She told me that, saying that I shouldn't be here because.

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Speaker 2: Basically, like the doctor's wordybout getting everyone else sick exactly.

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Speaker 3: This is what I think is going on here too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, thank you for confirming. We really needed that.

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Speaker 1: We figured it out. I then explained what happened with

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Speaker 1: Steve and how he had threatened to fire me over this,

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Speaker 1: and I couldn't afford to lose my job because I

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Speaker 1: was struggling as it is. My doctor turned her anger

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Speaker 1: towards my manager, Steve. Hell, yeah, doctor's on our side. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's right. You pissed off the wrong doctor today, Steve. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: doctors hate him. Today's prescription. You're fired. She asked if

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Speaker 1: I got sick pay from the company, to which I responded, yes, Oh,

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Speaker 1: he wants a sick note, does he? The doctor says, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll give him a sick note. Is getting spy sea now?

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Speaker 1: My manager wanted a note confirming I was sick, but

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Speaker 1: instead my doctor wrote something along the lines of this.

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Speaker 1: Op has come to the surgery because Steve has insisted

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Speaker 1: she come in in spite of the fact that it

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Speaker 1: is illegal and all employees are allowed to self certify

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Speaker 1: due to being forced to make this unnecessarily unnecessary and

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Speaker 1: highly dangerous trip. When the patient is ill, has a

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Speaker 1: fever of thirty nine degrees celsius, and almost passed out

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Speaker 1: in the waiting room.

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Speaker 2: Thirty nine degrees is like like a hundred.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that is bad, Brot. I am signing my name

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Speaker 1: doctor's name off for two full weeks to recover. Had

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Speaker 1: OP been allowed to self certify, as is the law,

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Speaker 1: they might have only needed a few days, but due

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Speaker 1: to straining themselves, they now require full two weeks to recover.

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Speaker 1: They are not to be permitted to work until two

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Speaker 1: weeks from now.

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Speaker 4: Woo a man, dude, this doctor is the goat greatest

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Speaker 4: of all time.

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Speaker 1: The doctor said she would have signed me off longer,

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Speaker 1: but this was the longest she could do without requiring

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Speaker 1: further evidence. So basically, instead of just being off for

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Speaker 1: a few days, I was now signed off for a

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Speaker 1: full two weeks, which I'd be paid for.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, get that money, Get that money.

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Speaker 4: Take that Steve o y yeah, you mess with the

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Speaker 4: wrong sick person.

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Speaker 2: Steve, that's right, you asshole. Show me your assholes.

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Speaker 1: Let's put a thermometer in that rectum. Goddamn temperature off

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Speaker 1: the charts, asshole. Now. I went to my place of work,

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Speaker 1: at which point one of the duty managers saw me

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Speaker 1: and ask what the heck I was doing there? Go home?

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Speaker 1: I was obviously very unwell. I explained what happened, and

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Speaker 1: they agreed to help me. Go downstairs to Steve's office.

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Speaker 2: Infect Steve with the flu.

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Speaker 1: That's right. So then we walk inside bomb bomb bomb.

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Speaker 1: I got you were the happen. So walked in the

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Speaker 1: office and I handed Steve the note, the note.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not the banknote, but a sick note.

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Speaker 1: Sick note. I'm rich, bitch. He looks worried and tried

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Speaker 1: to say, oh, I wasn't being serious about firing you. Well,

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Speaker 1: g when you angrily growled it down the phone sounded

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Speaker 1: like a save. Yes Steve, yes, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Now you're going back on your word, you little scaredy

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Speaker 3: scary cat food. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Now. The duty manager declared that they were going

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Speaker 1: to drive me home. It was clear Steve wanted to argue,

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Speaker 1: but had the sense to know that.

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Speaker 2: He shouldn't losing battle. Steve.

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Speaker 1: That's right, Steve, shut your trap.

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Speaker 2: Shut your fucking trap.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we all shove. Your name is Steve. Defend yourself

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Speaker 2: in the comments by saying I am Steve and I'm

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Speaker 2: not an asshole.

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Speaker 1: That's right. I will enget. I will respond to every

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Speaker 1: single Steve in these comments, and yes, if you're asking,

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Speaker 1: I will be doubling down. I still hate you, but

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Speaker 1: I want to argue with you about why I hate you,

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Speaker 1: so please comment below.

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Speaker 2: John lives for the hate.

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Speaker 1: I live for the hate. After the duty manager drove

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Speaker 1: me home, he made sure they made sure I was okay,

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Speaker 1: and then went back to work where they informed our

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Speaker 1: union rep of what happened.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, laying down the wall.

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Speaker 1: Steve had a disciplinary hearing. Get fused. Ye, that's l

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Speaker 1: Steve's going down.

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Speaker 3: Winner becomes the discipline.

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Speaker 1: That's right. The principals in office, and you're not getting

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Speaker 1: a pink slip this time, Steve.

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Speaker 2: The only thing you're getting his pink eye.

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Speaker 1: That's just rubbing your finger all over there, taking your

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Speaker 1: temperature because now you're sick because O pet and face.

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Speaker 1: I tried to keep it going. I was like, what

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Speaker 1: loose threat to pullet pull it all. So at Steve's

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Speaker 1: disciplinary hearing, he was given a severe reprimand and a warning.

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Speaker 2: Amazing little light for our boy Steve.

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Speaker 1: He deserves. He really should be sentenced to death. But

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Speaker 1: that's just one man's opinion. Every Steve must die, that's correct.

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Speaker 1: Steve tried to argue that he never said I'd be fired,

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Speaker 1: and I was lying and just decided to go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor my own free will. Gee really, but the

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Speaker 1: duty manager said that they heard him admit to it

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Speaker 1: when he said to me that he really didn't. She's

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Speaker 1: a duty manager. Now. I felt better after a few days,

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Speaker 1: and I enjoyed my two weeks off fully paid. Mind you, Carol,

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Speaker 1: Steve tating on you, Steve, take these dollars in the

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Speaker 1: face now. Steve was forced to work over time because

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Speaker 1: we were short staffed, in your face. So thanks to

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Speaker 1: the doctor's note, instead of being off for a few days,

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Speaker 1: I ended up getting a nice two week paid vacation

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Speaker 1: and Steve was given a final warning all because he

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Speaker 1: insisted I get a stupid silly doctor's note.

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Speaker 2: That's what you fucking get.

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Speaker 3: See, Yes, Steve, how do you stop trying to make

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Speaker 3: people's lives hard and disrespect the fact that maybe they

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Speaker 3: were shitting and puking at the same time all night. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: maybe that's not the best to have around it.

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Speaker 1: It's not great.

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Speaker 2: Maybe change your name.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just dig a grave, get in it and never

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Speaker 1: come back. That's all we're asking. It's a very outset

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Speaker 1: of every Steve. It's very simple. So boys, what do

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Speaker 1: we think is uh ZOPI in the wrong hair? Did

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Speaker 1: she did she just abuse the system? No?

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Speaker 2: Or I mean the doctor kind of forced it on

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Speaker 2: her really, but it was a good thing. Yeah. I

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Speaker 2: think I think she needed to teach Steve a lesson.

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Speaker 1: I think Steve got what he deserved.

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Speaker 3: Just because you're in a management position doesn't mean you

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Speaker 3: have the right to be in.

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Speaker 1: Asshole exactly, Steve. Yeah, Steve, we should, we should, we

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Speaker 1: should treat people and literally legally legally required to get

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Speaker 1: get five days.

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Speaker 3: Off the laws.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think that's a podcast