WEBVTT - Why are we protecting men....ever? FEAT. Karrine Steffans PT 2 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.440 She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.840 the man of the house, and of course she didn't 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:12.240 talk back. She was both obed hent and soft by nature. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:16.760 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:18.759 We're good mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.520 Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:22.480 their bad choices and. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:23.600 Sound out they were so bad. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.600 After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.040 Sit back and enjoy the ride. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:29.320 I can do it. 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:37.880 Okay, Wait, let me go back to the question, because 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.159 thank you good. I agree with everything. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.680 That you just said, absolutely absolutely, And it takes it 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.839 takes a soap box to remind yourself like, oh yeah, 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:49.240 this is that's not the real world. 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:51.200 This is yeah, Like I don't know what the fuck 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:52.199 world we're living in. 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:52.600 I don't know. 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:54.520 I live in a different world, you know, And. 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.120 I think like the world first of all, because you 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:58.720 wrote about a lot of the men that we're seeing 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.600 now come to light, and I'm that'll be more. 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.480 There's more. There's more, that's it's gonna come. It's gonna 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:03.240 see it coming. 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.200 Like some of these men you've had a lot of 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.039 you had interactions with, you had experiences with, and do 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.200 you think you have a different perspective of your experience 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:13.000 during the time in which you experience these men versus now, 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:16.760 where like you might have more clarity, more understanding, more language, 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.480 like of the how unnormal certain situations were that you 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.520 were made to feel were normal, or maybe that even 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.160 the things you experienced in your childhood would have convinced 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:29.520 you were normal. Yeah, versus now that you've gone through 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.200 probably a lot more self discovery in continuing to be 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:36.319 a writer and continuing to just live and exist in 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:39.360 the world and just heal in general. 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:50.000 Good question, because, first of all, think about this. I 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:52.440 grew up with a mother who was abusive, so being 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.440 beaten was normal to me. And I'm not just talking 0:01:55.440 --> 0:02:00.720 about spankings. I'm being I mean being beaten. I was 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.920 kidnapped and raped at thirteen. I was kidnapped again at 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:08.120 some point after that, so having men be in control 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.560 of my body was also very normal to me from 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.040 a very young age. I was taught very early, you 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.480 have no you have no autonomy. We're gonna take you, 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.840 We're gonna snatch you. Being raped at thirteen showed me 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:27.280 that I there was no didn't matter, and that was 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.400 a grown man who did that. So it's like I 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:35.400 just I never belonged to me. So that when I 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:40.160 became of age, I took my autonomy. I over I 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:44.720 over overdid my autonomy because I wanted to prove that 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.560 I was control of my body. How do you over write? 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:54.880 I wanted to two things were happening simultaneously. I wanted 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.760 to erase. And this is what happens too when you're I. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:03.240 I believe in through my therapy that when you have 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:08.800 had bad sexual experiences, you want the next one to overwrite, overwrite, 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:12.400 and override the one before. So I'm being raped. You 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:17.280 want to a lot of times redo the experience and 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:22.359 make it better so you can forget the original experience, 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.120 but it's very rarely better because you still have the 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:30.320 trauma of the first experience. You can't undo the trauma 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:33.919 just by redoing the act. You can't redo the you know, 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:40.080 you can't undo it. And so what became normal for 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:46.480 me was physical abuse, and I took that autonomy to 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.920 another level because I'm like, well, I'm the one that's choosing. 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:54.920 These are choices. I'm making right, but I was making 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:56.760 the choice based on the trauma. So it was a 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:01.840 trauma informed choice, right, just not the same kind of 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:07.760 choice as a healed in form choice. And so that's 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:15.240 why the autonomy was over It was overkill on the autonomy. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:19.000 The proper kind of autonomy for me would have been 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:25.320 to start to start therapy sooner and then make decisions 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:28.680 based on the healing that was happening. But I didn't 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:35.960 do that, as most people don't do that. So and 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:39.960 looking back, so much of what I wrote about was 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.200 just so regular to me, And even now as we're 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.680 having these discussions, you can see it's no longer regular too. 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:47.560 I'm like, oh my god, oh. 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:49.599 My god, Like, do you think that that's maybe why 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.400 there was also this shock for you? It's like Why's 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:53.360 like why is everyone? 0:04:54.880 --> 0:05:00.000 This is just how it is? True? It's true, true, 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:02.000 but not just the truth. It's the truth in this 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:09.440 particular world, right, Like I'm not reporting from midwestern Oklahoma, 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:14.039 right right, I'm reporting from Hollywood. Hollywood, bitch, what the 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.479 fuck you think goes on here? And it's been going 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:18.960 on since forever. So I was more shocked that people 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.440 were shocked about Hollywood, Like this is what happens here. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:26.120 This is what's always happened here. The drugs have always 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:29.920 been here. Who yeah, what did you think is going on? 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:31.440 Like you know, so it's like one in one. In 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.880 one second, you guys want to scream Illuminati, but in 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.640 the next second, when I'd show you what's actually happening, like, 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:39.520 oh my god, this is awful, Like what did you 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:42.800 think was happening in this cesspool of a fucking town 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:49.679 where since its invention, kids have been taking advantage of adults, women, 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:51.159 men in your face. 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:54.160 It wasn't very like hidden, it's so overt. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.159 So I'm shocked that you're fucking shocked, right, And I'm 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.800 shocked that you're blaming me because I'm the young girl 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.240 and all these men were so much older than I was, 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.160 and no one even clocked that team right now, it 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:07.559 said shit about that or if god, he's dead, bitch, 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:11.480 Like people are dead, like they've gotten old and died 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.800 and I'm still here, Like these people are older than 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:18.240 I am. They're eight, nine, ten, sometimes fifteen, twenty years 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.400 older than me, and that was never a factor, and 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:23.000 no one was thinking about this, like wait, it was 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:24.080 you were the monster. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.160 You were somehow right, the bad guy. You were the villain. 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.080 I'm a twenty year old girl, single mom, just trying 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.960 to make a buck and the man who and the 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:34.880 men who were in control of the money are like, yeah, 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.000 but you gotta do this first, right. I remember being 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:38.760 homeless and men being like, well, if you want to 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:41.560 sleep here, you gotta have sex with me. And at 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:43.040 this point, I don't give a fuck because I got 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:44.919 a baby in the car. It's the middle of winter, 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:46.719 and I'm like, well, just take the pussy real quick. 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.440 It's gonna take you five seconds. Bitch. I don't give 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.559 a fuck, but me and this baby gotta sleep somewhere 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.159 tonight because I have nowhere to live. I'm living in 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.560 my car. Those men were in their forties and I 0:06:55.600 --> 0:07:00.000 was in my twenties, and we didn't have the life 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:03.640 language we should have, honestly, because a sexual revolution of 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.880 the nineteen sixties early seventies gave us a lot of. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:07.480 Language, gave white women language. 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.960 Okay, I just watched this thing about that the other day, 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.320 so I'm just recapping in my brain what I just saw. 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:22.120 There's a there's a documentary about Miss magazine that I 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.560 just watched the other day that spoke about the difference 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:28.800 between white feminism and black feminism and how yeah, so, yes, 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.080 I didn't grow up in a black or white society. 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:35.680 I just didn't. So I didn't know that there was 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:37.680 a difference. To be honest, did you grow up. 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:40.080 On the you were in the islands, you were amongst black. 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.280 People, think that black people think the islands are just black. 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:46.960 The island was a Danish island, right, So it's not 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:49.720 just full of black people. There's blacks, there's whites, there's 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:54.800 there's East Indians. And no, my mother is not a 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:58.880 black woman. It's not, no, my dad no, So yeah, no, 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.560 it's it's a completely mixed family. It's and we didn't, 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:03.880 we don't. It's not the same, guys, it's not the same, promise, 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.120 it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:10.240 the same. It's so not the same. And there are 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:12.480 a lot of things that I learned in America that 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:16.760 I didn't learn there, And so there was not a 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:18.600 separation of the racism when I was growing up. There's 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:21.160 not a separation between white feminism and black feminism. It 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.400 was just women like women ruled where I'm from, So 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:28.120 like I didn't know there was a separation. My family 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:33.559 is a mixed family from Puerto Rican and Danish. That's 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:37.280 the mix of my family, and my dad's side was 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.640 like French and Jamaican or something. So, but speaking about 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.320 my mom's side, because that's where I grew up, it's 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.720 like I didn't have that, you know, I mean, I 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:48.360 have white grandparents, Like, it didn't I'd never I didn't 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.760 know any of these things. We're not all the same, 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:52.679 We're not a monolith, and depending on where we grow 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.840 up in our communities, we see things very differently. So 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.000 I did not understand that in America there was a 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.160 difference because while America was going through certain things, my 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.320 island was not going through that. Right, So while there 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:09.600 was you know, like water hosing and things of that, 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:13.520 that wasn't happening. So my grandmother couldn't pass that down 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.319 to me because it didn't happen to her. She was 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.480 married to a white man, and even though there was 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.480 some tension between the families, it wasn't like an island 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.800 wide thing, you know what I mean, Like I just 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.600 didn't get that education because it never No one could 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.840 pass that knowledge down to me because it hadn't happened 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:33.720 to them. They weren't here. We were there, and so 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.360 what happened here didn't happen everywhere, and it didn't happen there. 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.240 And so even though that, that's not to say they 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:43.400 weren't tensions, but it wasn't the same kind of thing. 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.760 And coming from a mixed and blended racial family, I 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.600 never knew that there was a difference. I just knew 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.520 that in my family all the women were boss bitches 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.080 and they ran the men around like I didn't know 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.559 that white women had something a black women didn't have, 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.240 because on my island, all the women had it. It's 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.720 twenty seven miles, you know what I mean, that's all 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:10.360 we had. And so I didn't know that. But I 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.720 do see it differently. I see I now, looking back, 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:20.440 I realized how much I didn't understand about this country. Honestly, 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:22.800 because in other parts of the world where this book 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.680 is sold, it doesn't It didn't get the same response. 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.840 That's so interesting. I mean, I would imagine so, but 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.520 that's so interesting to me. In Europe is not the 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.040 same response about it the same way. 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:38.520 Yeah, I know, it's America. America has bigotry deeply routed 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:39.400 in its DNA. 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.440 It's interesting too because when the book came out, I 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:45.240 was about to be a senior, and I, you know, 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:49.640 it was very pivotal in my life, Like it stuck hard, 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:52.480 Like it meant something to me because I related with 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.559 to you. I understood, And I think it's interesting as 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:58.520 like a sixteen or seventeen year old, like senior, I 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.920 understood even at that age age the trauma you had 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:06.240 experienced and how it was obviously related to your the 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.360 decisions after and your zero fucks given, and like I 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.640 understood that. But when I saw you get so much 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.320 backlash from like you know, it was it was everywhere, 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.280 like on TV, I think. 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.360 For women it was extremely empowering. 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:20.080 Yeah, it was. 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.240 It was the men that encroached on that moment and 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:26.160 made it this other thing. Whereas maybe in other countries, 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:28.440 and I quote me if I'm wrong, like there's a 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:32.760 more of an openness and like maybe not an openness, 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:37.640 but there's the women still have a say in some capacity, 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:41.280 even though patriarchy has bled its blood blood throughout the 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.720 world and everywhere here is like because there's such an 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:46.600 inception point here. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:48.160 But it was just. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.280 Odd to me, even as a child that people were 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:56.200 misunderstanding the very clear message in the book. I was like, 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:57.920 it's interesting that these are the things that people are 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:00.000 talking about, that these are the people that are to write. 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:00.800 Yeah. 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.440 I remember thinking so odd because I so clearly. 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.440 Understood the depth of the story and the thread of 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:11.320 the decisions and who like it. Just it resonated with 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.040 me and I understood it, and I thought it was 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.000 odd that you were getting a lot of backlash and 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.040 it was just like people were talking shit, and I 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.720 just couldn't understand, like, well, did you read the book? 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:22.880 Most people didn't. So here's what I found out and 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:26.439 what I didn't realize before So Confessions came out. It 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.320 was two thousand and five, and think about the internet 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:32.600 at that time, Twitter was brand new. No Twitter came 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.560 around two thousand and six. We didn't have Twitter, we 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.680 had Facebook, and Facebook was brand new. I just realized 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.320 a lot of people who read this book or yeah, 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.200 who were very young. I'm hearing it now. Oh, I 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:46.880 was in junior high. I was eleven, I was and 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:52.280 so I remember So Confessions was embargoed, which means nobody 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.679 got it until the day of So for months people 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:57.920 were wondering what's in this book? What's in this book? 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.720 And then people would make up things that they would 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:04.400 say were excerpts that couldn't have been excerpts because if 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.360 nobody had seen it, Barnes and Noble didn't even get 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:09.199 it until the day of which I think was June 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:12.360 sixth or something. Even Barnes and Noble couldn't get it. 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:16.240 Nobody got it. Everything was drop shipped day off. Okay, 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:21.559 that's what in Bargo's and Bargoed books are. I remember 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:24.400 there was a list online of like hundreds of men 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:29.320 that I'd slept with that I'm pretty sure now that 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.840 I realized how young everyone was at the time. Who 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.640 was like really into some kid probably made up on 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:37.680 the internet. It was men who were dead. It was 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:41.560 like Big Pun, It was like Puck Eve. And even 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.280 to this day, I have had people who were asking me 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:45.840 for interviews about how like what was going on in 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:47.839 the nineties, like hip hop in the nineties, I was 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:52.640 a child in the nineties because they had gotten this list. 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.800 I had someone recently send an email that was doing 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:59.400 a documentary on Ellen Iverson and they were like, we'd 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.360 like to talk to you about your experience and your 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.480 relationship with Alan Iverson. I was like, I have never 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:10.240 met this man in my entire life. I realized that 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.080 so much of what people thought was in the book 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.559 was never in the book, and that what people thought 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.360 I had done I had never done, which I thought 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:23.040 I just and it just really honestly dawned on me 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.560 just recently. I'm like, these were children playing on the internet. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:31.640 These were young people because older people weren't on socials 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.600 back then, Like it wasn't like a thing. I'm like, 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.800 these are young people making a list two hundred and 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.520 something odd men, most of whom I had never met. 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.760 And I have the most boring sex life. I know. 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.880 I hate to say this, Like I know people think 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:48.720 it's the most it's not. It's you, honestly, can I 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:54.600 be honest. It's the same men. It's the same fucking that. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.440 I was laughing about this with one of them the 0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:59.600 other day. I was like, bro, I spind the block 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.120 so much because I don't I never want new bodies. 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:06.480 But everyone has this idea that I've had all this 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:08.880 sex that I've never had, and I'm like, where did 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.160 this come from? It was like Snoop Dog and like 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:15.720 again Pac and like Pun Pun had been dead since 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.520 I was like fifteen, Like it was all these people 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:24.240 that I've never met. I've seen interviews of men old 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.680 like old school rappers who nobody knows, claiming they slept 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:33.320 with me, who I've never met, who have never met, 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:37.760 and doing it for like clout and SEO and like 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:49.520 clicks or whatever. Reass s el pussy yo, men, I've 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.280 never met, bro that you show rappers from the nineties 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.040 that I've never met, like I was. I was in 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.720 high school in the nineties, like I was in Arizona. Bitch, 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.320 fucking meet me men who have lied on their dicks 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.000 on the internet, and everyone just buys it. 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.000 Of course because it's fun, because it's fun to just 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.080 make believe and just keep the story going. 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:15.440 Meanwhile, it's been the same three people for like twenty years, 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.200 like the same one, not twenty but like the same 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:20.560 three to five. It's the same. I might I'm dick. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:22.560 I might venture out once in a while, but like 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:24.240 literally it's the same. 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:28.440 Crew, familiar, familiar Dick. 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.720 It's just like the crew, just me and the crew 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.360 and the girl, like you are all my bitches and 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.560 like you're I'm what's up and they're all friends, and 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:39.120 like everybody understands, like, Oh, it's your turn. It's your turn. 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.320 It's your turn, bro, it's your turn. 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:45.840 Because you can't trust new Dick because new Dick comes 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:49.480 with like problems, guys, I can't trust new dicks. So like, 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:54.440 whoever I was fucking twenty years ago might be the 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.520 same person I'm fucking now, you know what I mean. 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:02.160 And anytime I try something you it's a problem. These 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.840 men are. This is a problem. It's always a thing. 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:11.800 So I stopped doing all that. But like, I don't 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.200 know how we started this conversation. 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:15.960 God, let me get back. I have a I have 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:16.840 I have another question. 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:18.560 I know this is getting a little bit long because 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.760 I feel like our last episode was two parts because. 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:26.200 Be sat here and talked for hours, because because it's 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:28.240 fun and we have to catch up and I love 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:29.359 I love hearing you speak. 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.480 There's a question that I thought I was interested in 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.520 knowing as well. It was who was it? Where is 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:36.040 this question? 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:36.359 Said? 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:42.440 Oh? 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:46.560 Yes, So have any of the people from your book 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:49.800 ever apologized for how they showed up in your life? 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.080 Oh that's a really good question, honestly, IRV. God he did. 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:55.560 Oh wow, IRV god he did. I saw him at 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.399 a club. It was a it was a it was 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.680 a while ago, and I went to this club by myself. 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:01.960 I don't know what the fuck I was doing there. 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.280 It's like some fucking random clo. I don't know what 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.080 the fuck I was doing there. And I went to 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:10.439 the bar and he was there by himself, and he 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:11.399 was like, you're alone. 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:11.920 I'm like yeah. 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.840 He's like, you just came here alone. I'm like, yeah, 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.440 you know. And he did apologize to me at the 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.879 bar because and he was like, you know what I 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.479 loved about the book. He said, it's because there are 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.760 things you could have said that you didn't say. It 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:26.359 was like, and I appreciated that because I knew a 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:28.439 lot more than I said, and so he said I 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:30.680 really appreciated that. And he was like, I'm just I'm 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.960 just sorry for the way, well, you know, I reacted 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:35.720 to like the fact that you were telling your story 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:38.399 and yeah, and it was fine. And then he invited 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:41.359 me back to the house that night, and I ghosted 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.040 him but whatever, because I was like, you're not gonna. 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.280 Set me up. I'll take that. 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.159 Yeah, And I dipped out, but it was nice. It 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:51.680 was nice of him to acknowledge and apologize. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:53.000 And be a man and be a man about it. Yeah, yeah, 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:55.280 that's nice. And then the kind of overrides it by 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:56.080 him inviting into. 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:59.000 That kind of But then but then he went on 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:00.879 and then he went on Drink Champs and told this 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:04.280 lie so like not even like a couple a year 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.879 or two after that, he went on Drink Drink Drink 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:11.280 Champs and he was like, he does a story about 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:14.120 how I took down like the whole crew of like 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:18.240 worker bees or something like. I don't know what the 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:22.800 story was specifically, but remember it just being such a lie. 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:26.200 And I don't know what that was about. Anyone who 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.920 knows me knows this because because first because I met 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:33.160 jar rule first, and then I went to IRV because 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:36.879 I go from like lieutenant to like whoever you're going 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:39.280 in charge? Yeah exactly right, so like I'm not going 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:41.439 to go to like the assistant after that. That's a 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:45.440 crazy notion and everyone just ate that up, like oh, 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.600 like and he talked about it as if there was 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.280 a line outside the door and I took all these 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:54.760 like crews wow, after apologizing, after apologizing to me, And 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:59.240 maybe that's because I go. Yeah, I think it. 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:01.160 Lets you know, it wasn't a genuine apology. 0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:03.400 It was exactly it was bush yeah, which is why 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.760 I didn't go to the thing. Remember I'm telling that 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:09.439 lie on drink Champs and me just thinking like and 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:11.480 people will eat that up not knowing me. But I 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.680 only fuck with bosses, and so there's no way in 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.640 the world of fuck your assistant and like the key 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.520 grip and like the sound man and like it's not 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.879 my vibe, Like I'm a money girl, Like where's the 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:25.600 money yet, Like I'm not gonna like this is insane. 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:30.199 I think it's so crazy. Like to your quote that 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:32.800 you shared earlier, Margaret, I can't remember her last name, 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:35.200 but would at Wood. Yes, I should know that because 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:37.240 I watched every season of The Handmaid's Tale and I 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:39.879 was very upset by how it ended. Yeah, I was 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:41.680 gonna go back and revisit it, but not anymore. 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:42.680 Bitch, it's good. 0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:43.520 It's dark. 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:44.199 I know. 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:46.320 That's why empty of the path, I get too deep. 0:20:46.560 --> 0:20:49.480 Anyway, Yes, we should watch it, but just know the 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:51.960 ending is not what it's just not going to satisfy it. 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:56.199 But the quote of men are men are worried that 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.040 men are women are going to laugh at them? And 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.520 what happens when a woman does laugh at them? Yes, 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.239 and their reactions even silently, even when no one knows, 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:06.040 because he probably looked at him inviting you and you 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:06.840 saying no, thank you. 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:08.720 I didn't even say no thank you. I was like yes, 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:11.239 And then I got in my car, and then he 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:13.040 was texting me like I'm at the corner, blah blah blah, 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:14.159 I'm I'm on my way and I was going to 0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:17.480 the opposite direction and his laugh so he got the 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:19.560 drink chance and it was like and then she took 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:22.320 down twenty of my I'm like, bro, what are you 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:23.000 talking about. 0:21:23.000 --> 0:21:27.040 Often that the that echo of what happens after they 0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:29.719 that they feel like they've been laughed at is where 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:34.320 the lies and where the deterioration of our of our 0:21:34.600 --> 0:21:37.360 said reputation goes. Where men start to just talk out 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:39.919 of their ass and just literally makeup shit and people 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:41.600 can't believe that it. 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:44.280 Would be a lie. Yeah, I just I can't believe 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:45.240 that it would be a lie. 0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:47.040 That's just so crazy. But that goes back to the 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:49.840 admiration of certain kinds of people that I feel you 0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:54.480 should not admire because like these people haven't done half 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:58.080 the ship that like like scientists have done or like 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:00.480 something important, but just at the adverse. So he's a 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:02.920 producer who's to be a DJ, and you're gonna take 0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:05.600 his fucking word. And so it's like, no matter what 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.359 I do, I will always be in some people's eyes 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:13.000 this person because a man said up was that person. 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:15.520 When it goes back to the list of two hundred 0:22:15.560 --> 0:22:17.680 men that I never even fucking met, most of them 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:20.359 to whatever the fuck IRV God he said on drink 0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:22.760 Champs was a fucking out and out lie because why 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:25.040 would I go from the boss to the boss's helper. 0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:28.080 That's nuts. If you've seen fucking scarface, you know what. 0:22:28.080 --> 0:22:29.040 That's fucking nuts. 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:30.080 Like it's just not logical. 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:33.080 Bosses only bitch. I've been that bitch forever. Bro Like, 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:35.240 there's no way in the world, fucking your assistant you're 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:37.240 gonna bring me coffe, I'm gonna give you pussy, Like 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:40.640 what are you talking about? And so like the fact. 0:22:40.720 --> 0:22:42.960 But it's like if the man says it, then it 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:46.280 becomes fact. If the woman says it, then it's questionable. 0:22:46.400 --> 0:22:50.480 Every single fucking time. And the men that you're admiring 0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:54.959 are trash, bro Like, they're such trash in their personal lives. 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.399 They don't take care of their children, they cheat on 0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:00.840 their fucking wives, they never fucking go home home. They're 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:04.679 drug addicts, like fuck, they're alcoholics, like fucking crazy, Like 0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:08.240 these men need these many therapy, baddest fuck and these 0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:13.080 are your idols. And there's another saying that goes, I 0:23:13.119 --> 0:23:17.080 don't care about your booze because I see who you 0:23:18.520 --> 0:23:21.880 cheer for. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, bitch, 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.080 because I see who you like. I don't give a fuck. 0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:26.960 I don't like you're not Yeah, exactly, like, look at 0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:28.919 the people you uphold. I don't give a fuck if 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:29.520 you don't like me. 0:23:29.560 --> 0:23:32.040 Look at them good, that's actually a good indication. 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:34.280 Look at the gum you revere. You think I give 0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:36.800 a fuck whether you like me or not. You're revering 0:23:36.880 --> 0:23:40.560 chama lesters, you're revering rapists, you're revering drug addicts, you're 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.439 revering fucking cokes like, you're revering weirdos. Bro Like, I 0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:46.200 don't give a fuck if you don't like me. Look 0:23:46.200 --> 0:23:50.159 at the people you fucking lust after. These people are 0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:53.040 not good people, bro, So who gives a fuck if 0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:55.560 you like me or not? I don't You're not You're 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:57.680 not my type of fucking person. We're not the fucking same. 0:23:58.240 --> 0:23:59.040 How has that been? 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:01.240 You know? Like this is its been twenty years, you're 0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:05.640 obviously comee from like twenty six. You're still like a baby. 0:24:05.359 --> 0:24:08.400 In ways until this point and you've got the opportunity 0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:11.160 for people to hear your story, but they've also see 0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:14.080 your evolution. Has it been difficult like for other people 0:24:14.119 --> 0:24:16.520 to under like people thinking they can talk like about 0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:19.800 you even after you're apologizing, like to take you in 0:24:19.840 --> 0:24:21.520 this version of yourself. 0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:26.840 Okay, So I'm gonna say this. I know for a 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:30.800 fact as a grown woman now just a few years 0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:34.120 from fifty, what I know for a fact is that 0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:38.280 most people have a really hard time evolving in their 0:24:38.320 --> 0:24:43.200 own lives. Most people are stuck. Most of your listeners 0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:46.840 and watchers are stuck. They're in the same place, doing 0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:49.600 the same thing with the same people, and they don't 0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:52.879 want to be there, and they don't know how or 0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:57.480 afraid to shift. I under that's human nature. It's just 0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:02.679 the human experience. It's easy to get stuck. People like 0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:06.400 me don't get stuck. This is what makes us special, 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:10.640 This is what makes me different, is that every six 0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:15.280 months I'm moving, I'm doing something different, I'm onto something 0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:19.199 or somebody or some I'm always moving. I think that 0:25:22.160 --> 0:25:28.000 it's difficult for those people, for most people to imagine 0:25:28.800 --> 0:25:32.920 my growth, because they have a hard time growing, excelling, 0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:35.919 and moving forward. Again, it's human nature. It's so easy 0:25:35.960 --> 0:25:38.359 to get stuck. It's so easy to get stuck in 0:25:38.400 --> 0:25:40.119 a relationship that you fucking hate, with a man you 0:25:40.160 --> 0:25:43.040 can't stand. It's so easy to get bogged down with 0:25:43.080 --> 0:25:44.800 the kids. It's so easy to get bogged down in 0:25:44.880 --> 0:25:46.720 your job. It's so easy to do what your parents 0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:48.320 tell you to do, even though that's not what you 0:25:48.359 --> 0:25:50.440 really want to do. There are so many instances where 0:25:50.440 --> 0:25:52.720 it's so easy to get stuck in a version of 0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:54.399 yourself that you don't really want to be in, and 0:25:54.400 --> 0:25:57.000 then not know how to change and shift and move forward. 0:25:57.480 --> 0:26:02.679 Most people are there. I've never been that person, and 0:26:02.720 --> 0:26:06.399 that scares people. It excites people, and it ignites curiosity 0:26:06.400 --> 0:26:09.480 in people, but also it makes people angry. I will shift. 0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:12.760 I will move any chance I get from man to man, 0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:15.960 from place to place, from state to state. It doesn't 0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:18.760 matter to me. I am living my life as freely 0:26:18.920 --> 0:26:22.600 as any man because men are allowed to do a 0:26:22.640 --> 0:26:26.399 lot of shit they don't let women do. But I 0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:29.480 do all the shit men do. I'm gonna bring you 0:26:29.560 --> 0:26:32.399 one step closer. I am living my life as freely 0:26:32.440 --> 0:26:39.639 as any mediocre white man because mediocre white men aren't 0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:42.919 even qualified for shit the ship that they fucking do. 0:26:44.160 --> 0:26:46.600 I'm doing shit I ain't fucking qualified for. I don't 0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:50.439 give up. But because I'm gonna live my life just 0:26:50.480 --> 0:26:56.119 as freely, openly and unqualified as any mediocre fucking white 0:26:56.119 --> 0:26:59.560 man on his planet, I don't give a fuck, and 0:26:59.600 --> 0:27:01.680 you can't stop me. You can't slow me down nothing. 0:27:02.240 --> 0:27:06.800 So whatever people think, I realize this, that thought process 0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:10.560 is not about me, Bro, That's about them and their 0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:15.399 struggle to shift and move and live freely. I live free. 0:27:15.760 --> 0:27:18.800 I have no burdens, I have no issues. I have 0:27:18.800 --> 0:27:21.400 no fucking problems. Nothing's a problem to me. If something 0:27:21.440 --> 0:27:23.239 is a problem to me, I leave it. I just 0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:26.439 fucking shuck and jive. I just know I'm out, Nigga, 0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:29.959 like Houdini, Like I'm out. You want to see me 0:27:29.960 --> 0:27:34.360 no more, bro, I will post it here, husbands, baby daddies. 0:27:34.720 --> 0:27:37.960 Fucking what. I will leave the situation so fast now 0:27:38.000 --> 0:27:39.920 talk to you. It's as if I've never fucking been there. 0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:44.480 So whatever issues people have about me, I know it's 0:27:44.480 --> 0:27:49.640 not about me. I know it's about them, and I must. 0:27:49.480 --> 0:27:51.520 Feel very free. It feels like freedom. 0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:55.680 Yes, of course, freedom is the game, Like that's what 0:27:55.720 --> 0:27:56.800 you want. You want to be free? 0:27:56.960 --> 0:27:59.919 Because I think people might have a m might assume 0:28:00.359 --> 0:28:03.240 the opposite, because so many people have opinions about you. 0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:05.440 Oh, like y'all don't give a fuck we broke people 0:28:05.480 --> 0:28:07.959 in Iowa care about me? Like I don't have an 0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:11.880 opinion about really nothing or anybody because it doesn't matter 0:28:11.920 --> 0:28:13.960 to me. I'm so self centered. I am the center 0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:15.680 of my life. I am the center of everything. I'm 0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:17.480 in the center of my family. I'm the center. If 0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:19.720 I break down, everybody else breaks down. I am it. 0:28:19.760 --> 0:28:22.160 I am she, I am her, so like I don't 0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:26.120 give a fuck about fucking Julie and Iowa. I don't 0:28:26.160 --> 0:28:28.119 give a fuck about this bitch, Like I don't give 0:28:28.160 --> 0:28:30.160 a fuck what this bitch gotta say about me. Who 0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:31.880 the fuck is this bitch? Like do you know how 0:28:32.040 --> 0:28:34.960 much my bills are like, I am focused people like 0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:36.560 what keeps you motivated? My bills? 0:28:36.600 --> 0:28:36.879 Bitch? 0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:39.680 Do you know how expensive LA is? Yeah? I don't 0:28:39.680 --> 0:28:41.240 live in LA and New York? Do you know how 0:28:41.280 --> 0:28:42.240 expensive this shit is? 0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:42.360 Like? 0:28:42.400 --> 0:28:44.240 This shit is not a game. I don't give a fuck. 0:28:44.960 --> 0:28:47.760 And that's important to know too, is that what I 0:28:47.880 --> 0:28:51.320 eat don't make you shit and vice versa. I come 0:28:51.360 --> 0:28:55.280 from a fucking era where we understood that, Okay, the 0:28:55.320 --> 0:28:57.720 dicks I fuck don't make you nut. Why are you 0:28:57.880 --> 0:29:00.840 so Why are you so into the dicks like lee, Like, 0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:05.680 focus on your plate, bitch, eat your food, what's on 0:29:05.720 --> 0:29:09.200 your plate? Because chances are we don't make the same money. 0:29:09.280 --> 0:29:11.280 We're not in the tax in the same tax bracket. 0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:13.800 We're not fucking the same kind of niggas. Chances are 0:29:14.080 --> 0:29:17.080 you're doing way worse than me. Get off my dick, bitch, 0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:20.040 and go do something that's gonna make your life better. 0:29:20.120 --> 0:29:24.160 It's important to tend to your own garden. It's important 0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:28.160 to really focus in on your life. Stop worrying about 0:29:28.200 --> 0:29:30.360 what I'm doing with the next bitch doing with this 0:29:30.640 --> 0:29:33.200 who gives off? Fuck? I don't know what any of 0:29:33.200 --> 0:29:35.400 these holes are. I don't know what anybody's doing. I 0:29:35.520 --> 0:29:38.719 only know what I'm doing because if I take my 0:29:38.880 --> 0:29:43.120 eyes off the prize, my whole family falls. I cannot 0:29:43.160 --> 0:29:47.880 afford to invest in anybody else's life well being. I 0:29:48.000 --> 0:29:51.560 sure as fuck cannot be in anybody else's pussy but 0:29:51.760 --> 0:29:55.120 my own. I don't care who you fuck. I don't. 0:29:55.120 --> 0:29:58.560 I don't give a fuck about nobody, and anybody who 0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:03.680 cares so much about other people's lives to me, I 0:30:03.680 --> 0:30:08.800 always ask them this, while you're caring so much about 0:30:08.840 --> 0:30:14.240 other people, who's caring about you? Who's really looking out 0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:17.000 and caring? No, Because here's the deal. You said it earlier. 0:30:17.120 --> 0:30:19.760 Nobody's coming to save you. Who the fuck wakes up 0:30:19.760 --> 0:30:21.920 in the morning and is like, I wonder how Jamila 0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:25.320 is doing. It's gonna be you, it's gonna be Erica, 0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:27.800 it's gonna be your man, might be your mamam, be 0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:30.320 your daddy, whatever. But the rest of the world doesn't 0:30:30.320 --> 0:30:32.440 wake up. All these people here love you, guys, but 0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:37.480 you don't wake up and think, I hope Jamiala is okay? 0:30:37.920 --> 0:30:38.680 Did she eat today? 0:30:39.800 --> 0:30:42.920 Does she need money? Is she okay? Should I send 0:30:42.960 --> 0:30:45.640 her something? Like? Nobody because we all have our own ship. No, 0:30:45.680 --> 0:30:47.480 one's thinking, no one's coming to save you, No one's 0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:49.200 thinking about you, and no one's coming to rescue you. 0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:51.320 So you need to be able to self rescue. 0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:53.640 Self rescue, come back to the rescue. 0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:53.920 Is that? 0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:57.880 What's the affirmation of the day. Yeah, we usually ask 0:30:57.920 --> 0:31:00.160 our guests to share an affirmation. Do you have one? 0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:00.680 Is it that. 0:31:04.400 --> 0:31:07.520 I have so many affirmations that I really like. I 0:31:07.560 --> 0:31:09.520 don't know which one I think I gave one last time. 0:31:09.520 --> 0:31:11.280 I'm trying to think of something. I have like twenty 0:31:11.320 --> 0:31:14.280 seven of them that I teach my coaching clients, and 0:31:14.320 --> 0:31:16.280 we have them and we go through it all. I think. 0:31:17.160 --> 0:31:20.680 I think for me, it's a very simple one and 0:31:20.720 --> 0:31:23.920 it helps me every day in making my decisions. And 0:31:23.920 --> 0:31:27.440 it's it's three words, and then what. 0:31:28.960 --> 0:31:30.880 Then what was this? I think this might have been 0:31:30.920 --> 0:31:31.120 the same. 0:31:32.920 --> 0:31:38.360 I'll give you another one. No person, no problem, no person, 0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:41.280 no problem. So a lot of times we have problems, 0:31:41.280 --> 0:31:43.640 we think we have problems. We don't have problems. We 0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:47.600 have people. And when you delete the people, you delete 0:31:47.600 --> 0:31:52.920 the problems, like do you have a problem disappear like. 0:31:52.920 --> 0:31:54.440 Do you have a problem problem? 0:31:55.040 --> 0:31:56.520 Do you have a problem, or do you have a 0:31:56.560 --> 0:32:00.000 baby daddy. Do you have a problem. 0:32:00.160 --> 0:32:02.040 We cut the baby daddy. 0:32:02.240 --> 0:32:08.720 They don't want to be Do you have a problem. 0:32:08.760 --> 0:32:14.600 That might be that. 0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:15.800 Personal problem, because here's the deal, Like men want to 0:32:15.880 --> 0:32:17.560 fuck you, but they don't want to be fathers. You 0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:19.680 make them fathers and they don't want to be. A 0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:21.320 man will say he wants to be a dad, but 0:32:21.360 --> 0:32:23.160 he really don't want to be. Most men don't want 0:32:23.160 --> 0:32:24.920 to be married and they don't want to have children. 0:32:25.280 --> 0:32:27.880 It's interesting someone actually asks a question. So now that 0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:30.560 you said that, okay, yeah, this advice question, this is 0:32:30.560 --> 0:32:31.080 actually on. 0:32:31.640 --> 0:32:33.600 Also, some of these men are bisexual and they really 0:32:33.600 --> 0:32:35.880 want men and they don't really want you. Okay, And 0:32:35.920 --> 0:32:38.400 I've learned that firsthand. Some of these men really want 0:32:38.440 --> 0:32:42.560 dick and they really don't want you to say. 0:32:42.440 --> 0:32:46.360 That really quickly. So this is an advice question Tribe 0:32:46.360 --> 0:32:46.920 at Patreon. 0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:49.320 If you haven't subscribed to Patreon, are already by now 0:32:49.600 --> 0:32:51.240 listening to this episode, I want to go ahead and 0:32:51.280 --> 0:32:53.400 encourage you one more time. Go to patreon dot com, 0:32:53.400 --> 0:32:55.720 backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, get in. 0:32:55.760 --> 0:32:57.240 On these live experiences. 0:32:57.600 --> 0:33:01.800 Come get our episodes early and get some bonus content while. 0:33:01.680 --> 0:33:03.240 You're adding it contribute to the conversation. 0:33:03.320 --> 0:33:08.120 These questions have been phenomenal, so I'm appreciatives. This question 0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:10.480 comes from a thirty one year old female. I was 0:33:10.520 --> 0:33:12.800 with my boyfriend for five years. He broke up with 0:33:12.800 --> 0:33:16.880 me because I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy. What advice would 0:33:16.920 --> 0:33:19.080 you give me. I'm currently two mens pregnant and would 0:33:19.120 --> 0:33:21.200 like to self rescue and be happy. 0:33:22.120 --> 0:33:24.080 I think that if women want children, we're better off 0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:34.160 having children at sperm banks because okay, hold on, hold on, no, listen. 0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:36.959 Out here in LA we have California Cryo Bank. I 0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:38.640 know this because I because. 0:33:38.440 --> 0:33:38.960 I know this. 0:33:40.520 --> 0:33:42.400 You can pick out your baby. You can see the 0:33:42.440 --> 0:33:44.840 baby picture of the man who donated. You can see 0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:47.640 what his degrees are, you can go through all the stats. 0:33:48.760 --> 0:33:52.480 You're laughing, bitch, but listen. Some of you want babies, 0:33:52.520 --> 0:33:55.240 and what you don't want is the men. You don't 0:33:55.280 --> 0:33:57.680 want what comes with the babies. 0:33:57.880 --> 0:33:59.920 Well, I think that they do. It's just the men 0:34:00.880 --> 0:34:02.000 rising to the occasion. 0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:02.240 You know what. 0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:02.800 I think? 0:34:02.880 --> 0:34:05.280 What I really love it all time alone. 0:34:05.320 --> 0:34:07.520 They're never going to rise to the fucking occasion. 0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:09.760 So automatically I didn't want a baby. 0:34:09.920 --> 0:34:12.239 I had a man and we made a baby and 0:34:12.320 --> 0:34:13.719 I and I. 0:34:13.600 --> 0:34:16.560 Want you also backward. Listen to me. Stop wanting men. 0:34:16.600 --> 0:34:17.319 I was twenty seven. 0:34:17.320 --> 0:34:19.120 They're never going to rise to the okay, so let 0:34:19.120 --> 0:34:21.120 me just let's just go through this right now. The 0:34:21.160 --> 0:34:24.040 men are not the prize. It's not what you want. 0:34:24.520 --> 0:34:27.440 Relationships should not be the goal. They should be the 0:34:27.440 --> 0:34:31.480 byproducts of your goals. So for instance, you don't want 0:34:31.520 --> 0:34:33.279 a man. You want to go to Paris and you 0:34:33.280 --> 0:34:35.480 want to learn about art and get into. 0:34:35.400 --> 0:34:40.800 Culture, and you get if it's on Falcony culture art, 0:34:40.680 --> 0:34:42.040 sick Frenchman. 0:34:41.680 --> 0:34:44.200 And you just happen to run into somebody seeking it. 0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:47.520 It's coming to you when you're ready. You're not out 0:34:47.520 --> 0:34:50.040 on the prid. Oftentimes, when you look deeply and you're 0:34:50.880 --> 0:34:51.640 looking for stuf. 0:34:51.560 --> 0:34:52.319 You're not going to find it. 0:34:52.320 --> 0:34:54.520 It's when you're at ease, that's when you're feminine, at 0:34:54.520 --> 0:34:57.359 your softness, that you're going to invite in what you need. 0:34:57.680 --> 0:34:58.640 And I. 0:34:59.280 --> 0:35:01.560 So they're not the goal. They are the byproduct of 0:35:01.600 --> 0:35:05.520 the goal. Got it too. Some women are getting into 0:35:05.600 --> 0:35:10.160 relationships just because they want children. Some women are very 0:35:10.239 --> 0:35:12.800 much so I've seen that a lot, and they're forcing 0:35:12.840 --> 0:35:15.560 themselves into relationships that they really shouldn't be, especially women, 0:35:16.120 --> 0:35:19.319 especially women over thirty five going into their forties, or 0:35:19.600 --> 0:35:23.240 they're forcing themselves into relationships because they want to have children. 0:35:23.800 --> 0:35:26.360 If that's the case, bypass the relationship. Go to your 0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:30.080 local cryobank, pick out your sperm, Spend five hundred dollars. 0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:33.560 Go to your gynocologist. He'll put it in for you. Boom, 0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:36.480 you're pregnant. No fucking you don't have to deal with 0:35:36.520 --> 0:35:36.960 the bullshit. 0:35:38.160 --> 0:35:40.839 They want babies, but they also want You're not gonna 0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:41.040 get it. 0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:42.680 You're not gonna get it home. You're not gonna get it. 0:35:42.719 --> 0:35:46.040 You're not gonna get it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 0:35:46.239 --> 0:35:47.680 How what's the divorce rate? 0:35:48.120 --> 0:35:48.319 Hi? 0:35:48.440 --> 0:35:51.200 How many women are you seeing on Instagram crying their 0:35:51.320 --> 0:35:56.359 eyes out about the ruins of their marriage and it's 0:35:56.440 --> 0:36:03.120 not girlies, curlies. How many statistics do you need before 0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:07.359 you realize the system is broken. You're not going to 0:36:07.400 --> 0:36:10.440 beat the system. You're not going to be the only 0:36:10.560 --> 0:36:15.920 person whose marriage works out. It's not nineteen forty seven. Like, 0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:18.719 the men have too many options, and a lot of 0:36:18.760 --> 0:36:26.759 them want men. We are laughing, also, we are serious. 0:36:27.360 --> 0:36:31.000 A lot of the men want men I know because 0:36:31.040 --> 0:36:34.879 I've dated them. They love Dick. I know because I've 0:36:34.920 --> 0:36:37.600 given it to them. She's a strap on. Her name 0:36:37.680 --> 0:36:40.000 is Pinky. I've had it for a while. I'm telling 0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:45.160 you right now, these men love Dick. I'm not making 0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:51.480 this up. Have your children because you're gonna end up 0:36:51.480 --> 0:36:52.560 alone anyway. 0:36:52.960 --> 0:36:54.040 Do you think it's a bet? 0:36:55.320 --> 0:36:57.440 Don't fuck the relationship bypass the drama? 0:36:57.440 --> 0:36:59.360 PA, If you want children, if yet to decide what 0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:02.480 was Wilson important to you? If children is most important 0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:05.680 to you, because you're running out of time biologically, right, 0:37:06.600 --> 0:37:08.840 don't worry about the man. Don't force yourself into a 0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:11.560 relationship because you want to find old them later. Right. 0:37:11.880 --> 0:37:15.279 Once you have your baby that you've chosen, right, then 0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:17.000 you find your man later. 0:37:17.400 --> 0:37:19.640 And you're actually more equipped to find your man later 0:37:19.680 --> 0:37:22.120 in life because you're more equipped, you've done more healing, 0:37:22.200 --> 0:37:25.959 you're not as stupid, you're just like you're less able 0:37:26.000 --> 0:37:27.640 to put up with some bullshit. I do feel like 0:37:27.680 --> 0:37:30.600 there's no way the twenty seven year old me had 0:37:30.600 --> 0:37:31.120 the tools. 0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:33.719 Well, you know what, it makes me think about how 0:37:33.800 --> 0:37:36.360 motherhood is such an initiation and it's not an initiation 0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:38.880 because there's the men are involved. It's an initiation because 0:37:38.880 --> 0:37:40.960 you have this experience between you and your body and 0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:44.040 this child and then you enter into this space. So like, yes, 0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:47.719 it's nice to have the support of the masculine of Absolutely, 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:50.400 I don't believe that, like kids don't need their fathers. 0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:51.280 That's not what I'm saying. 0:37:51.719 --> 0:37:54.200 I'm just saying that there is an initiation that women 0:37:54.280 --> 0:37:57.520 go through singularly as women when we give birth, and 0:37:57.560 --> 0:38:00.719 that sometimes that's what you're seeking, and that's what you 0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:03.919 need in order to then go find your man right 0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:07.719 and then sometimes it doesn't have to happen like Ryan 0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:10.840 partnership that way. I just need to go through this initiation, 0:38:11.320 --> 0:38:17.040 have this child, this experience, and then andy and then. 0:38:16.920 --> 0:38:20.799 Imagine the mental preparation you've already had, like I'm gonna 0:38:20.800 --> 0:38:23.680 get pregnant alone, I'm gonna get Essentially, that's what's because 0:38:23.680 --> 0:38:26.000 you're doing it anyway, because you do it with this 0:38:26.080 --> 0:38:27.280 illusion with the guy. 0:38:27.440 --> 0:38:31.240 I stop being delusion all Delulu was not the answer. 0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:35.240 Oh my god, you live the programming because you're supposed 0:38:35.280 --> 0:38:36.720 to do that. Even though I when I got pregnant, 0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:39.120 I called my home girl, I said this nigga bitch 0:38:39.320 --> 0:38:40.040 and I'm pregnant. 0:38:40.120 --> 0:38:42.040 She said, he's still think that's the truth. 0:38:42.040 --> 0:38:43.560 He thinks of your bitch, thinks. 0:38:43.320 --> 0:38:44.640 To your slat and he thinks your bitch, and it's 0:38:44.680 --> 0:38:46.600 not going to change. You have a baby, and I said, 0:38:46.760 --> 0:38:47.399 bet you're right. 0:38:47.680 --> 0:38:49.239 And then I proceeded to have a baby with the 0:38:49.320 --> 0:38:51.200 nigga who called me a slatiner bitch. And guess what 0:38:51.320 --> 0:38:52.920 he did probably still call me a Slatin bitch after 0:38:52.960 --> 0:38:55.000 and he touched me in my face, and there was 0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:56.440 a lot of trauma that had to be healed from 0:38:56.440 --> 0:38:57.239 it in order to leave. 0:38:57.239 --> 0:38:59.399 Because I need to imagine if you had just gone 0:38:59.400 --> 0:38:59.960 to the sprum bank. 0:39:00.200 --> 0:39:02.960 I wasn't mentally prepared to be a sing I'd rather 0:39:03.040 --> 0:39:05.440 be a try. I tried so hard to get punched 0:39:05.480 --> 0:39:07.440 in my face and then be a single mom when 0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:09.440 I could have just not got punched in my face 0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:10.640 and I could. 0:39:10.360 --> 0:39:13.040 Have just said, this is this is what you're this 0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:13.640 is what we're doing. 0:39:13.680 --> 0:39:15.840 I mean, I probably would have never happened because programming. 0:39:15.920 --> 0:39:18.040 But I was not going to cryobank if I didn't 0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:18.680 get pregnant. 0:39:19.040 --> 0:39:21.440 But that is listen, I see both sides. 0:39:21.960 --> 0:39:24.960 I see I e both sides, but I also understand 0:39:25.120 --> 0:39:27.120 like the women that women that want to have the 0:39:27.120 --> 0:39:29.799 baby right now, go have the baby, go plant go 0:39:29.880 --> 0:39:32.680 like she said, go to the cryobank, Go to the cryobank. 0:39:32.880 --> 0:39:35.319 I saw some ads on Instagram, kind body or some shit. 0:39:35.400 --> 0:39:36.120 I don't fucking know. 0:39:36.160 --> 0:39:38.840 You're probably getting you too, You're getting I keep getting 0:39:38.840 --> 0:39:41.960 fed for they're spending millions of dollars because everyone says, kind. 0:39:42.000 --> 0:39:43.440 I must know how old people are. Oh my god, 0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:44.080 they can probably be. 0:39:44.080 --> 0:39:44.919 Like literally trying. 0:39:44.960 --> 0:39:47.719 It's not that I am forty four and like really 0:39:47.800 --> 0:39:49.720 get bitches who are like, fuck, I gotta have a baby. 0:39:49.880 --> 0:39:51.840 But it might be you just need your your spirit 0:39:52.000 --> 0:39:54.640 is and your body is asking you to go through 0:39:54.640 --> 0:39:58.000 this initiation. So honor it and then figure out the 0:39:58.000 --> 0:40:01.080 other part later because you can. We're proof that you can. 0:40:01.600 --> 0:40:01.880 Just know. 0:40:02.120 --> 0:40:03.040 It's not easy. 0:40:03.120 --> 0:40:04.759 It's not it's not going to be great. And when 0:40:04.800 --> 0:40:07.520 you do it, you're going to maybe sometimes wish you 0:40:07.520 --> 0:40:07.960 had a man. 0:40:08.480 --> 0:40:09.839 Guys, no you're not home. 0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:13.520 You might you might to take the baby, take this. 0:40:14.080 --> 0:40:14.840 Take babies. 0:40:15.040 --> 0:40:16.600 Do men take babies brong? 0:40:16.719 --> 0:40:18.120 Sometimes yes they do, and they. 0:40:18.000 --> 0:40:20.840 Can plain and they call you for every thing and 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:22.400 got that break. 0:40:23.800 --> 0:40:26.239 Yes, at least you got the bitch least don't listen 0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:28.640 to Eric listeners in Vegas right now with her dad, 0:40:28.680 --> 0:40:32.000 and I'm so happy about it than your women together. 0:40:32.320 --> 0:40:35.080 Just a personal assistant, baby daddy. I'm okay with that 0:40:35.120 --> 0:40:37.560 because I got a break. If I had a cryo baby, 0:40:37.600 --> 0:40:39.160 I'd have no one to take this goddamn baby. 0:40:39.200 --> 0:40:43.200 You have girlfriends, you have family and a tribe. 0:40:43.200 --> 0:40:45.080 That's the The whole other thing is that you don't. 0:40:44.880 --> 0:40:46.880 Have a try your tribe. 0:40:47.440 --> 0:40:49.440 Don't have a cryo baby. 0:40:49.480 --> 0:40:50.920 Tribe that's important. 0:40:51.000 --> 0:40:53.160 Don't have a cryo baby unless you have a tribe 0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:55.520 that and they need to maybe sign contracts. 0:40:56.520 --> 0:40:57.160 They need Maybe. 0:40:57.320 --> 0:40:59.520 I'm just saying, there's time, just like there's steps. 0:40:59.560 --> 0:41:01.440 Hold on, you should ask you guys are doing too 0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:03.600 much because also there are women. Okay, let's go back 0:41:03.600 --> 0:41:06.759 a little bit. Black women are the most agreed in 0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:10.239 the country. Okay, black women the highest educated group in 0:41:10.280 --> 0:41:13.160 this country. Yes, black women are out earning black men. 0:41:13.280 --> 0:41:13.560 Amen. 0:41:13.680 --> 0:41:18.080 Okay, black women can afford childcare, we can afford nannies, 0:41:18.280 --> 0:41:21.880 we can afford help, We can do this. We also 0:41:21.920 --> 0:41:25.600 have family and friends. You don't need a man to 0:41:25.719 --> 0:41:29.000 have your baby. Would be nice to have a man 0:41:29.320 --> 0:41:33.080 who can do things. Yes, but overwhelmingly we are seeing 0:41:33.480 --> 0:41:35.920 that men do not want to be fathers. They're not 0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.160 planning these babies with you. You're planning them with your 0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:41.359 fucking self the minute. And even the ones who think 0:41:41.760 --> 0:41:45.640 who purport to be planning the minute you pop up pregnant, 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:51.000 they're like, we can't do this, Okay. It is important 0:41:51.000 --> 0:41:54.839 to understand our biological need is different than theirs. They 0:41:54.840 --> 0:41:57.839 can have children into their nineties, it doesn't matter for them. 0:41:58.600 --> 0:42:00.520 We only have a short amount of time. So if 0:42:00.520 --> 0:42:05.600 you want to have children, have your baby, and sometimes 0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:09.080 you just gotta get into a quick situation, get your baby, 0:42:09.160 --> 0:42:12.160 be out, like, just be the fuck out. I think 0:42:12.200 --> 0:42:15.400 where you give yourself toil in trouble is where you 0:42:15.440 --> 0:42:18.400 are trying to make men who don't want to be 0:42:18.480 --> 0:42:23.000 fathers to your baby participate in the raising and financial 0:42:23.000 --> 0:42:26.960 responsibility of your baby. I think it is important to 0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:31.640 understand and to when someone asked earlier about how I've 0:42:31.680 --> 0:42:35.879 taken care of myself, I never put my first son's father. 0:42:36.960 --> 0:42:39.720 There was no court, there was no child so any kids, 0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:42.040 I'm never gonna go to court. There will never be 0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:45.000 child support. I will never Cha'll never fucking contact you. 0:42:45.239 --> 0:42:47.719 I don't give a fuck about you. You are, as 0:42:47.760 --> 0:42:51.279 my father would say, the bag I brought the groceries 0:42:51.320 --> 0:42:55.760 home in Okay, the groceries are for me. You're the bag. 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.440 You're the one that had to make this come to 0:42:58.520 --> 0:43:01.560 fruition for me. This is for women who aren't in loving, 0:43:01.880 --> 0:43:05.040 caring relationships. This is for the women who want babies 0:43:05.080 --> 0:43:07.799 before they can't have babies anymore, or before they get 0:43:07.800 --> 0:43:08.640 to a certain age. 0:43:08.680 --> 0:43:11.680 This is this is not her, though she's pregnant right now. 0:43:11.640 --> 0:43:13.040 But she says she doesn't anything to do with it, 0:43:13.080 --> 0:43:14.279 and I don't force it. 0:43:14.320 --> 0:43:15.239 Don't don't force it. 0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:16.879 If this is your choice, and you and he told 0:43:16.880 --> 0:43:19.040 you he don't want a baby, and continuing. 0:43:18.760 --> 0:43:21.440 But if you want the baby, leave him the fuck alone. 0:43:21.520 --> 0:43:24.040 Yeah, let him be. Don't force anyone to do anything. 0:43:24.080 --> 0:43:26.279 Yes, leave him the funck alone. It's okay to raise 0:43:26.280 --> 0:43:27.160 a baby by yourself. 0:43:27.239 --> 0:43:29.160 Then, so then are you saying if that's if that's 0:43:29.200 --> 0:43:30.680 what you want to do, you don't want to don't 0:43:30.680 --> 0:43:32.279 try to get child support. Don't try to. 0:43:32.400 --> 0:43:34.960 I personally am not a child support girly. I but 0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:36.560 I make enough money to not do so, and I 0:43:36.560 --> 0:43:38.520 don't force babies on people if I'm not going to 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:41.120 take care of them by myself. So sometimes again, some 0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:43.160 men are just the groceries you. So some men are 0:43:43.200 --> 0:43:45.200 just the bag you bring the groceries home in. They're 0:43:45.239 --> 0:43:50.960 just the conduit, right if this person wants a baby, I. 0:43:50.880 --> 0:43:52.799 Mean, my question is they've been together for five years? 0:43:52.800 --> 0:43:54.560 Have they not had this conversation before? 0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:57.040 Ye? Have you guys had a woman's together? Is that 0:43:57.080 --> 0:43:58.040 a man's together? Yeah? 0:43:58.040 --> 0:44:00.279 I'm curious about what the together like? 0:44:00.640 --> 0:44:03.360 Right? Because okay, guys, girl, I wish I could just 0:44:03.360 --> 0:44:06.359 shake all of you. If you ask a woman if 0:44:06.360 --> 0:44:09.879 she's in a relationship, she'll say yes. Sometimes you ask 0:44:09.920 --> 0:44:10.799 that man, he'd be. 0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:12.680 Like, nah, yeah, that's true. 0:44:12.800 --> 0:44:15.720 So like, her together may not be his together. 0:44:15.800 --> 0:44:17.120 Would you call that delusion? 0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:20.080 No, because men will trick you into thinking that you're 0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:23.279 in a relationship, but he is someplace else entirely. He 0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:27.800 might have two or three different relationships happening that are separate. 0:44:28.400 --> 0:44:30.239 So like, at the end of the day, if he's 0:44:30.280 --> 0:44:33.160 not with it, it's her decision on whether her body, 0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:35.520 her choice, whatever she wants to do. She's doing what 0:44:35.640 --> 0:44:39.040 she wants to do. But I'm not for I'm not 0:44:39.080 --> 0:44:41.040 a child support girly. I'm just not. I don't have 0:44:41.120 --> 0:44:42.840 the energy. I don't give a fuck about it. I 0:44:42.920 --> 0:44:45.640 make enough money. And if you can't support your child yourself, 0:44:45.680 --> 0:44:47.520 then don't have your fucking child. Because what I'm not 0:44:47.560 --> 0:44:49.480 gonna do is be in court every two weeks trying 0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:53.160 to take some scumbag dirt nigga down for three hundred dollars. 0:44:53.719 --> 0:44:55.680 That's the fuck. I'm not gonna like them. Let me 0:44:55.680 --> 0:44:57.120 tell you, I don't give it's my bague. 0:44:57.160 --> 0:44:59.360 It's funny. That's just right now. 0:44:59.560 --> 0:45:01.680 Because I saw someone else, a girl that I know 0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:04.600 she'd made a reel yesterday or so two days ago 0:45:04.640 --> 0:45:07.000 about like never put my baby daddy on child support, 0:45:07.080 --> 0:45:09.440 like all the ways, like all the assumptions you might 0:45:09.480 --> 0:45:14.040 have about her life. And I wrote in my I 0:45:14.080 --> 0:45:16.560 wrote it down in my phone because that actually annoyed me, 0:45:16.600 --> 0:45:18.160 because I took a really long time to put my 0:45:19.040 --> 0:45:22.080 baby daddy on child support. And now I'm like, I 0:45:22.080 --> 0:45:23.640 wish I would have done it sooner. I wish I 0:45:23.640 --> 0:45:27.120 would have held this, held him accountable sooner. And because 0:45:27.400 --> 0:45:29.920 I didn't, I got into the relationship thinking that we 0:45:29.920 --> 0:45:31.800 were doing this together. So I think a lot of 0:45:31.840 --> 0:45:35.000 people are not necessarily think can I raise this child alone? 0:45:35.120 --> 0:45:37.919 Like no, because I'm not entering into this partnership thinking 0:45:37.920 --> 0:45:39.839 that I'm raising this child alone. I thought we were 0:45:39.840 --> 0:45:42.040 getting married, I thought we were planning a life together. 0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:45.440 I was not necessarily financially prepared to have the baby 0:45:45.480 --> 0:45:48.920 because you told me, don't worry, I got it. I'm 0:45:48.920 --> 0:45:51.000 going to take care of us. And now I'm in 0:45:51.000 --> 0:45:53.839 this situation where I'm like, fuck, you know. So when 0:45:53.880 --> 0:45:55.840 I when I saw that, I was like, I don't 0:45:55.920 --> 0:45:58.520 think I think that you have to move according like 0:45:58.640 --> 0:46:00.440 and you said, like, this is just my this is 0:46:00.440 --> 0:46:02.799 my testimony. I think you have to move according to 0:46:03.400 --> 0:46:06.200 whatever the agreement is that you had with that person. 0:46:06.440 --> 0:46:08.799 If that person said we're doing this together, put that 0:46:08.880 --> 0:46:12.040 nigga on child support because you said we're doing this together. 0:46:12.160 --> 0:46:15.000 And now I've had this baby, and now I'm not 0:46:15.040 --> 0:46:17.759 going to be the sole person responsible. Yes, I'm gonna 0:46:17.760 --> 0:46:19.399 be I'm gonna rise to the occasion. And I think 0:46:19.400 --> 0:46:23.040 that's what and what a lot of single moms realize 0:46:23.040 --> 0:46:24.560 they have to do. And that's why we have this 0:46:24.640 --> 0:46:27.360 platform where we've had to empower ourselves and empower women 0:46:27.600 --> 0:46:29.799 to take responsibility and say fuck it, I don't need you. 0:46:29.840 --> 0:46:30.799 I'm going to figure it out. 0:46:31.120 --> 0:46:33.919 But in the interim of me fucking figuring this shit out, 0:46:34.480 --> 0:46:36.640 put that nigga on child's you bridge the contract. 0:46:36.719 --> 0:46:38.560 Yeah, and if you can't afford and if you can 0:46:38.640 --> 0:46:42.279 afford the child without this person, I mean whatever, Like 0:46:42.320 --> 0:46:44.759 whether you could or couldn't and you had entered into 0:46:44.800 --> 0:46:46.680 this agreement together, that's on you. 0:46:46.960 --> 0:46:49.480 But I feel like there's a lot of women that 0:46:49.640 --> 0:46:51.759 don't put their baby daddy on child support out of 0:46:51.760 --> 0:46:55.719 fear of looking like that girl or looking like you know, 0:46:55.920 --> 0:46:59.680 they are being worried about needing someone. And it's like, 0:46:59.760 --> 0:47:01.960 we made this child together, and we agreed to do 0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:04.680 this together. And I think that, like, I don't know, 0:47:04.920 --> 0:47:07.200 for me, I had a lot of shame and guilt 0:47:07.239 --> 0:47:10.520 around even going to court, like being like I don't 0:47:10.680 --> 0:47:11.520 I don't want to do it. 0:47:11.719 --> 0:47:13.400 I don't want him to think that I'm a gold digger. 0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:16.640 And I'm like, what the fuck he thinks thought he 0:47:16.719 --> 0:47:17.520 was a good dad. 0:47:18.800 --> 0:47:19.000 You know. 0:47:19.200 --> 0:47:22.040 So I think that, like, like you said, like it's 0:47:22.360 --> 0:47:25.680 you have to find your your sweet spot in that 0:47:25.840 --> 0:47:28.600 in that understanding and I will say too though as 0:47:28.640 --> 0:47:31.359 someone that went through the process of getting child support. 0:47:31.040 --> 0:47:34.239 It is an ugly process. It made me feel disgusted 0:47:34.360 --> 0:47:35.080 with myself. 0:47:35.480 --> 0:47:37.799 I literally had to become a private investigator of this 0:47:37.880 --> 0:47:42.799 nigger like look taking screenshots of him buying diamonds like 0:47:42.840 --> 0:47:44.320 he can afford it, you know, like this. 0:47:44.440 --> 0:47:46.200 It was gross. I was like, I hate that I 0:47:46.239 --> 0:47:47.480 have to Why why. 0:47:47.320 --> 0:47:48.920 Are you even putting me in the position that I 0:47:48.960 --> 0:47:52.960 have that You're avoiding your responsibility so deeply that I 0:47:53.000 --> 0:47:55.120 even have to go to the process of going You're 0:47:55.160 --> 0:47:57.440 so vain and stupid that I can even have the 0:47:57.440 --> 0:48:00.160 opportunity to screenshot. But this is you're making me go 0:48:00.239 --> 0:48:02.320 so low. But you're such a scum that I have 0:48:02.480 --> 0:48:04.719 that's what I have to do to prove that you're 0:48:04.760 --> 0:48:08.080 making money, so that you allocated a properly And. 0:48:08.160 --> 0:48:12.000 And and of course hopefully those that those feelings and 0:48:12.040 --> 0:48:14.759 for me, those feelings have they motivate you to them 0:48:14.840 --> 0:48:16.880 be like, let me figure this shit out, because I 0:48:16.880 --> 0:48:19.000 don't want to ever have to fucking ask you for shit, 0:48:19.560 --> 0:48:21.839 you know, And so hopefully that is I don't want 0:48:21.840 --> 0:48:23.440 to say hopefully that's the goal. Hopefully the goal is 0:48:23.480 --> 0:48:25.040 that you guys can copare it together, and you guys 0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:27.560 can equally be responsibil responsible for the child. 0:48:27.640 --> 0:48:29.560 But in the case that it's not, do what the 0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:30.319 fuck you have to do? 0:48:30.480 --> 0:48:32.560 Yeah, and we always do because that's what women do. 0:48:32.640 --> 0:48:33.600 We figure it the fuck out. 0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:34.120 Yeah. 0:48:34.200 --> 0:48:36.479 And honestly, does he even have any money? Because I'm not. 0:48:36.800 --> 0:48:38.520 Going a like out of my way to go get 0:48:38.560 --> 0:48:41.040 your fucking one seventy five a month. But it sounds 0:48:41.080 --> 0:48:43.600 like that, But it sounds like in this particular situation. 0:48:43.840 --> 0:48:46.040 I don't know what the conversation have been before in 0:48:46.080 --> 0:48:49.240 their relationship, but I'm assuming they have talked about children 0:48:49.239 --> 0:48:51.600 if they've been together for five years in a relationship 0:48:51.640 --> 0:48:53.960 that they both knew that they were in. Yeah, and 0:48:54.880 --> 0:48:56.759 perhaps like she's very shocked. I don't know if she's 0:48:56.760 --> 0:48:59.000 still in the chat as of now, shocked and surprise 0:48:59.080 --> 0:49:01.399 that he doesn't want to have a baby with her. 0:49:01.960 --> 0:49:05.360 But I just feel like, if you're choosing to continue 0:49:05.360 --> 0:49:07.440 with the pregnancy and knowing that this person is not 0:49:07.920 --> 0:49:11.359 maybe going to participate in the raising of this child, 0:49:11.480 --> 0:49:14.480 then you are. Now it's a new terms and agreement, 0:49:14.840 --> 0:49:17.480 there's a new contract that's being made, and the contract 0:49:17.600 --> 0:49:19.080 is that you are the sole provider of this child 0:49:19.320 --> 0:49:22.080 because he's telling you what his where, his where? 0:49:22.080 --> 0:49:25.720 His mind is that yeah, And I think that. 0:49:25.560 --> 0:49:28.120 That too, like for women where I when I see 0:49:28.120 --> 0:49:30.759 that this happens, are men feeling trapped in in in 0:49:30.800 --> 0:49:32.520 relationships through pregnancy? 0:49:32.880 --> 0:49:34.879 Like I feel for men sometimes I'd be like, why 0:49:34.880 --> 0:49:36.360 the fuck? Why would you do that? 0:49:36.440 --> 0:49:37.680 But then again it's like, well why did you not? 0:49:37.800 --> 0:49:38.120 In the bitch? 0:49:38.200 --> 0:49:39.560 Okay, but because it feels. 0:49:39.880 --> 0:49:42.960 A contributed we all participated, and maybe you need to 0:49:43.000 --> 0:49:45.440 have a terms and agreements beforehand, so you know, what 0:49:45.520 --> 0:49:45.799 the fuck? 0:49:45.880 --> 0:49:50.200 Even though I haven't abided by this law because you know, condoms, 0:49:50.200 --> 0:49:53.640 you know, but like I condoms you know generally, Like 0:49:53.920 --> 0:49:56.040 I think, like sometimes she starts having a good night, 0:49:56.120 --> 0:49:58.279 like as you go to the club and you meet 0:49:58.280 --> 0:50:00.480 a nigga, he's fine as hell, you fuck and raw, 0:50:00.800 --> 0:50:01.560 and it's just like. 0:50:01.440 --> 0:50:04.440 You you just end up nutting at her, I think, 0:50:04.480 --> 0:50:07.040 And then you just get emotionally attached to the baby 0:50:07.080 --> 0:50:10.040 when you're not even emotionally attached to this person, And 0:50:10.080 --> 0:50:11.399 that's confusing for a man. 0:50:11.560 --> 0:50:13.960 Don't and I don't, I don't say. And that's where I. 0:50:13.880 --> 0:50:15.879 Agree with the men where I'm like, what the fuck? Well, 0:50:15.880 --> 0:50:18.399 you had a one night stand, bitch, Like, what where 0:50:18.440 --> 0:50:20.320 did you get that? I wanted to be your baby daddy. 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:22.600 Don't have unprotected sex with that we both agree to this? 0:50:23.600 --> 0:50:28.480 And women, yeah, women, I would be acting crazy. 0:50:28.520 --> 0:50:29.600 No, I think it's nuts. I don't. 0:50:29.719 --> 0:50:31.359 I don't really agree with having kids with someone who 0:50:31.360 --> 0:50:35.160 doesn't want a kid, because I mean, because I'm not. 0:50:35.239 --> 0:50:37.520 I don't want to force this on you unless you're like, 0:50:37.640 --> 0:50:39.760 I'm totally okay with walking away and doing it solely. 0:50:40.040 --> 0:50:42.200 If you don't, if you're not okay with doing it 0:50:42.239 --> 0:50:45.680 solely by yourself, then why y'all? 0:50:45.719 --> 0:50:49.839 Okay, y'all, okay, nuts, yeah you guys, okay, Oh yeah, 0:50:49.840 --> 0:50:50.239 I'm good. 0:50:51.360 --> 0:50:54.279 I don't want to force anything on anybody. But if 0:50:54.320 --> 0:50:55.680 unless you're oh, no, I'm great. 0:50:55.719 --> 0:50:57.200 I got my child's porn. I'm great. 0:50:58.600 --> 0:51:01.400 I wish I had times before, but he got superheated. 0:51:01.840 --> 0:51:02.279 It's hot. 0:51:03.600 --> 0:51:05.480 I'm just I just feel like this topic is there's 0:51:05.520 --> 0:51:08.480 a lot of layers to it, and and I think 0:51:08.480 --> 0:51:12.000 maybe I felt triggered by your what you saying like that, 0:51:12.160 --> 0:51:15.840 not because you've taken an autonomy over your decision, but 0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:17.359 I think that like a lot of women, when they 0:51:17.360 --> 0:51:19.879 push this narrative around, like I don't take chance to part, 0:51:19.920 --> 0:51:21.560 and I'm like, well, it's really just because. 0:51:21.400 --> 0:51:24.160 I don't like drama, Like I just and honestly, I 0:51:24.160 --> 0:51:26.360 don't want a man telling me how to do anything. 0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:28.839 And once a man starts paying for shit, then he 0:51:28.880 --> 0:51:31.120 wants to like his opinions, and I think you, I 0:51:31.120 --> 0:51:32.600 don't want to. I don't give a fuck about a 0:51:32.640 --> 0:51:35.080 nigga gotta say about shit. So it's easier for me 0:51:35.239 --> 0:51:38.040 if I just beat it because I don't want you 0:51:38.080 --> 0:51:40.239 calling me on some I think the baby should go 0:51:40.239 --> 0:51:42.120 to this school. I don't give a fuck what you think. 0:51:42.280 --> 0:51:45.560 Like I'm that person. So that's just me though, like 0:51:45.640 --> 0:51:48.560 I'm super me though, Like so everybody else has their 0:51:48.600 --> 0:51:51.120 own thing. I don't like men. When men start talking 0:51:51.160 --> 0:51:54.440 to me, I'm I'm not gonna lie. When men start 0:51:54.480 --> 0:51:59.720 talking to me, I get angry, like shot the fuck 0:51:59.840 --> 0:52:04.400 up on everything. But that's just me, and so everyone 0:52:04.480 --> 0:52:07.919 has their own journey. I just don't like men's opinions 0:52:08.040 --> 0:52:10.200 on anything, especially the raising of the I don't want 0:52:10.200 --> 0:52:11.320 their input on anything. 0:52:11.360 --> 0:52:12.759 And if you take the money, then you have to 0:52:12.760 --> 0:52:13.480 do then there's. 0:52:13.360 --> 0:52:16.720 Input, and I don't want input, and that's. 0:52:21.040 --> 0:52:21.480 That's just me. 0:52:21.719 --> 0:52:23.600 I don't want input. I don't I don't need you, 0:52:23.640 --> 0:52:26.160 I don't need your money. I don't need it. So 0:52:26.239 --> 0:52:29.279 that there's that we're good, and I don't want the 0:52:29.400 --> 0:52:32.439 input on anything. If I ask a question, then answer 0:52:32.520 --> 0:52:35.800 my question. But I don't like the the unsolicited input 0:52:35.880 --> 0:52:39.040 that sometimes happens. I just like to live my life 0:52:39.040 --> 0:52:40.320 the way I want to live my life, and I 0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:43.279 don't like men interjecting and how I'm living my life 0:52:43.360 --> 0:52:45.759 or how I'm doing things. And that's just me personally, 0:52:46.400 --> 0:52:49.360 and that's just me as a mother, as a woman. 0:52:49.680 --> 0:52:52.200 I just I just want men to be quiet and 0:52:52.280 --> 0:52:54.680 just do what I tell them to do. But I'm 0:52:54.719 --> 0:52:59.319 also very domn that way, and so that's just my lifestyle. 0:52:59.440 --> 0:53:03.080 That's not every one's lifestyle. I like to boss men around, 0:53:03.440 --> 0:53:05.759 choke them out, like it's just a thing that I do. 0:53:08.200 --> 0:53:09.839 Cheers to living life on our. 0:53:09.800 --> 0:53:12.360 Own terms, a little bit left on your own. 0:53:12.239 --> 0:53:14.759 Terms, our own terms, right, Women living life on their 0:53:14.800 --> 0:53:18.040 own terms, no matter where you fall in the domination spectrum. 0:53:18.680 --> 0:53:21.359 That's just me. But I understand I do understand why 0:53:22.360 --> 0:53:25.440 women go through the process. Also, don't like stress. It is. 0:53:25.520 --> 0:53:27.720 It's hard, like going to court is just hard. 0:53:27.800 --> 0:53:28.120 It is. 0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.640 It was, and I pray, I thank god it didn't 0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:33.359 take too too long. And that's why I tell women 0:53:33.480 --> 0:53:35.040 what they do go down that path, just be prepared. 0:53:35.080 --> 0:53:35.800 It's not cute. 0:53:36.120 --> 0:53:38.719 You feel really gross throughout it. And I almost gave 0:53:38.800 --> 0:53:40.640 up a few times, and I'm glad I didn't. I'm 0:53:40.640 --> 0:53:43.040 glad that I followed through and that I don't have 0:53:43.080 --> 0:53:45.680 to ask for shit and then it's just done and 0:53:45.719 --> 0:53:47.080 I don't have to think about it and we don't 0:53:47.120 --> 0:53:49.120 have to talk about it. We literally don't talk about 0:53:49.160 --> 0:53:52.719 money at all anymore. And that became a that became peace, 0:53:52.760 --> 0:53:55.799 and that became my peace in my life. But it 0:53:55.840 --> 0:54:00.120 didn't it didn't come without trials and a lot of 0:54:00.120 --> 0:54:02.800 self doubt and uncomfortability, and. 0:54:02.880 --> 0:54:04.400 It was it was. It's not for everybody. 0:54:04.600 --> 0:54:08.320 Yeah, I agree. So I think that to your point, 0:54:08.600 --> 0:54:11.640 if she goes forward, she has to understand there's a 0:54:11.640 --> 0:54:14.000 great possibility she'll be a single parent going through this, 0:54:14.360 --> 0:54:15.840 and she may have to go through the child support 0:54:15.880 --> 0:54:18.760 process in the court, and that's difficult and it's hard, 0:54:18.840 --> 0:54:21.960 but it's worth it. In the end hopefully and everyone, 0:54:22.000 --> 0:54:24.200 but also too like she doesn't have to, she doesn't 0:54:24.239 --> 0:54:26.480 want to, it's completely up to her and what she 0:54:26.520 --> 0:54:27.120 wants to do. 0:54:27.600 --> 0:54:29.919 Yeah, do you re birth? 0:54:30.000 --> 0:54:33.800 And we make the rolest. 0:54:33.080 --> 0:54:35.640 Being a black woman, a black person, but just speaking 0:54:35.640 --> 0:54:40.799 about women in just in general, it's really difficult. And 0:54:40.840 --> 0:54:43.320 the concept, which is something I wasn't raised with, was 0:54:43.400 --> 0:54:46.440 just like, you have to work twice as hard to 0:54:46.520 --> 0:54:48.279 get the same thing. I didn't grow up with that 0:54:50.280 --> 0:54:52.560 I work half as much like and I don't want to, 0:54:52.560 --> 0:54:55.440 and I want the same things. I want to live soft, 0:54:55.840 --> 0:54:58.200 I want to live easy. I want to work half 0:54:58.239 --> 0:55:02.680 as much and get the same things. And for me, 0:55:03.960 --> 0:55:07.400 that works. And then when anyone questions me, I just 0:55:07.440 --> 0:55:10.560 tell them I'm tapping into my white privilege because. 0:55:12.080 --> 0:55:12.479 I am. 0:55:12.600 --> 0:55:14.520 I am, because I am. 0:55:14.600 --> 0:55:15.160 That's it. 0:55:15.280 --> 0:55:18.359 I'm going to do very little. I'm going to earn 0:55:18.600 --> 0:55:20.520 just as much, and I'm not going to work myself 0:55:20.560 --> 0:55:23.279 to the bone. I'm not going to miss out on 0:55:23.320 --> 0:55:25.600 my family moments, I'm not going to miss out on 0:55:26.080 --> 0:55:28.520 community moments. I'm not going to miss out on life 0:55:28.600 --> 0:55:31.480 because I'm working myself to the bone to earn every 0:55:31.520 --> 0:55:35.000 single thing that a mediocre white man has to work 0:55:35.000 --> 0:55:37.920 two hours to build, and I'm working for seven days 0:55:37.920 --> 0:55:40.200 for the same thing he does in two hours. I 0:55:40.280 --> 0:55:45.600 just literally refuse to do it. I think that, and 0:55:45.640 --> 0:55:48.040 it's really it's really interesting to me too. How like 0:55:48.080 --> 0:55:53.680 in American society, they only show slavery as the history, 0:55:53.880 --> 0:55:54.680 and that's not fair. 0:55:54.760 --> 0:55:57.480 It's intentional, though it is intentional. If you think your 0:55:57.520 --> 0:55:59.880 history begins there, then you'll be blinded by what you 0:56:00.400 --> 0:56:00.759 And the. 0:56:00.640 --> 0:56:04.640 Fact that they call people of color minorities when you're 0:56:04.680 --> 0:56:08.719 actually the global majority is wild. Like you may be 0:56:08.960 --> 0:56:12.560 the minority in your community, even if you were the 0:56:12.560 --> 0:56:17.600 minority in America, globally, you're the majority because people of color. 0:56:18.040 --> 0:56:19.080 It's all colors. 0:56:19.680 --> 0:56:22.000 So that's how big we know Africa is. 0:56:21.960 --> 0:56:26.279 On the map exactly. You're the global populations. So you 0:56:26.280 --> 0:56:29.000 stop calling yourself a minority and you start calling yourself 0:56:29.000 --> 0:56:32.960 a global majority. And it changed. It just shifts the beliefs. 0:56:33.520 --> 0:56:37.640 I cannot believe. I still can't how many people are 0:56:37.680 --> 0:56:40.920 pro You keep seeing the word programming, and I cannot 0:56:40.960 --> 0:56:46.400 believe that people are still programmed, like you're chat GPT, 0:56:46.680 --> 0:56:50.279 like you've taken information and then that's the only thing, 0:56:50.320 --> 0:56:54.400 you know, and that's wild system. 0:56:54.520 --> 0:56:57.799 That's what you've adopted as true. No investigation. 0:56:57.960 --> 0:57:00.480 Well that's no investigation, yeah, exactly, Well you. 0:57:00.480 --> 0:57:03.080 Have to have the brain of an investigator. I do 0:57:03.200 --> 0:57:05.799 believe it's interesting. Like sometimes people just come into the 0:57:05.800 --> 0:57:09.840 world curious and clear and like, are. 0:57:09.680 --> 0:57:11.640 You sure this is what God is? Or like you 0:57:11.680 --> 0:57:12.600 know kids. 0:57:12.280 --> 0:57:15.520 Generally and like, but then you become like hypnotized in 0:57:15.560 --> 0:57:19.520 a trance. If you've never seen anything different, How could 0:57:19.560 --> 0:57:22.720 you know it exists unless you have the imagination that 0:57:22.880 --> 0:57:26.480 is curious and that is like once to create and 0:57:26.520 --> 0:57:29.080 every And I do think, like you talked earlier about, 0:57:29.720 --> 0:57:33.080 you know, the majority of people, unfortunately, the majority of 0:57:33.120 --> 0:57:35.240 people are easily programmed. 0:57:35.760 --> 0:57:36.880 That's so weird to me. 0:57:37.480 --> 0:57:38.600 Me too, it's so. 0:57:38.680 --> 0:57:39.120 Weird to me. 0:57:39.200 --> 0:57:41.280 I still don't understand. 0:57:41.440 --> 0:57:44.520 Well, we've been like a great marketing test. I feel like, 0:57:44.560 --> 0:57:46.080 specifically in America. 0:57:45.800 --> 0:57:47.480 Like this is like marketing. It's psychological. 0:57:47.480 --> 0:57:51.720 I mean, it's well, it's psychological warfare. It's marketing that 0:57:51.760 --> 0:57:54.680 they've marketed towards us to believe, to tap into believe. 0:57:54.720 --> 0:57:56.280 It's advertising, but advertising. 0:57:56.320 --> 0:57:57.720 I just want you to know, you guys, it's like 0:57:58.680 --> 0:58:03.040 the like hypnosis of this subconscious brain. They studied your 0:58:03.080 --> 0:58:07.120 brain and subliminal messages so that you could easily be progressed. 0:58:07.120 --> 0:58:08.760 You knew how many times you needed to hear something 0:58:08.760 --> 0:58:11.160 to believe it. Like they know the way you need 0:58:11.160 --> 0:58:13.720 to hear it. They know the like the pronunciation of 0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:15.600 the words that you need to say it in a 0:58:15.640 --> 0:58:19.520 certain way. They know the cadence of the conversation that 0:58:19.560 --> 0:58:20.560 you need to hear in order. 0:58:20.400 --> 0:58:20.920 To believe it. 0:58:20.920 --> 0:58:23.160 That's why even as a public speaker, there's are what 0:58:23.240 --> 0:58:26.040 you get trained in order to understand how to speak 0:58:26.080 --> 0:58:28.560 and tap into someone's psyche. When you're a salesperson, you 0:58:28.600 --> 0:58:31.720 know what words, what words to say, how many times 0:58:31.760 --> 0:58:36.200 to say it, how to pronounce it, like put nunciations 0:58:36.200 --> 0:58:37.840 on certain words. Even when I was doing Home Shopping 0:58:37.880 --> 0:58:39.480 Network and I got all this coaching, it was like 0:58:40.080 --> 0:58:43.120 say this like really tappen, like not bring your voice 0:58:43.200 --> 0:58:48.080 down down and then bring them in and it's like subtle. 0:58:48.160 --> 0:58:50.080 It's very subtle, and it's and it's a beautiful skill 0:58:50.120 --> 0:58:50.920 to have. You have it. 0:58:51.440 --> 0:58:53.240 I do have, Yeah, you do use it often. 0:58:53.360 --> 0:58:53.760 You have it. 0:58:53.800 --> 0:58:58.800 And yes, I had media training during confessions and honestly, 0:58:58.840 --> 0:59:01.800 as an orator, and just as study or just as 0:59:01.880 --> 0:59:07.600 a studier of oration and as a reader, I understand words, 0:59:08.400 --> 0:59:11.400 the power of words, and how to use words to 0:59:11.440 --> 0:59:13.959 make people feel what I want them to feel. 0:59:13.840 --> 0:59:14.520 And hook them. 0:59:14.680 --> 0:59:17.200 So it's important to me for people to understand that 0:59:17.240 --> 0:59:19.400 if you hate me I wanted you to hate me, 0:59:19.800 --> 0:59:21.680 You're doing what I want you to do. You're not 0:59:21.760 --> 0:59:25.480 going against the grain, you're not bothering me. I want 0:59:25.520 --> 0:59:29.200 you to do that because I make money off that. 0:59:29.520 --> 0:59:39.600 I am now relevant. And also the visceral reactions, so 0:59:39.720 --> 0:59:42.360 visceral meaning whether you're one way or the other doesn't matter. 0:59:42.400 --> 0:59:44.919 I need you to have a visceral reaction. In order 0:59:44.960 --> 0:59:48.160 for me to tickle that visceral reaction inside of you, 0:59:48.240 --> 0:59:50.200 I have to use certain words in a certain way 0:59:50.200 --> 0:59:53.160 at a certain time, and that is the genius of 0:59:53.200 --> 0:59:56.520 a wordsmith. So everyone is doing exactly what I want 0:59:56.600 --> 0:59:58.640 them to do, how I want them to do it, 0:59:58.680 --> 1:00:00.680 when I want them to do it, because I control 1:00:00.800 --> 1:00:04.360 them and they don't control me. So then that goes 1:00:04.440 --> 1:00:07.240 back to what we talked about earlier. And no matter 1:00:07.240 --> 1:00:10.560 how people feel, I'm still in control. You think that 1:00:10.640 --> 1:00:13.200 you're controlling me by your opinion but your opinion is 1:00:13.240 --> 1:00:14.920 based on what I said, when I said it, how 1:00:14.960 --> 1:00:17.360 I said it, where I said it when I said it. 1:00:17.760 --> 1:00:21.280 Because everything I do is on purpose with purpose. So therefore, 1:00:21.720 --> 1:00:24.280 when I did Pierce Morgan, I haven't said anything and 1:00:24.360 --> 1:00:28.080 off social for almost a year. That was intentional. Then 1:00:28.120 --> 1:00:31.120 I waited till the decision from the court to be 1:00:31.160 --> 1:00:33.880 able to come out and now start talking. That's intentional. 1:00:34.240 --> 1:00:37.840 So now your reactions. Everything that I'm saying is intentional. 1:00:37.880 --> 1:00:40.200 When I was asked if me and Diddy had sex 1:00:40.240 --> 1:00:44.400 and I said not, to my recollection, that's intentional. For 1:00:44.480 --> 1:00:46.560 your reaction is what I want you to have. I 1:00:46.600 --> 1:00:50.560 am manipulating everybody here because I understand number one psychology, 1:00:50.680 --> 1:00:53.160 number two the English language, and I'm a fucking genius 1:00:53.160 --> 1:00:54.560 and which you ever fucking forget it? 1:00:56.200 --> 1:01:00.360 Period? Amen, I'm hooked. Got me. 1:01:02.640 --> 1:01:04.919 And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you hypnotize the odds, 1:01:04.960 --> 1:01:06.000 And now I'm hypnotized. 1:01:07.480 --> 1:01:07.919 It's true. 1:01:07.960 --> 1:01:10.240 And I went to I was like in junior college 1:01:10.240 --> 1:01:12.240 and I are like just my first freshman year, and 1:01:12.280 --> 1:01:15.320 I did psychology and I started to learn the the 1:01:15.480 --> 1:01:18.600 development of media and the development of marketing and advertising 1:01:18.600 --> 1:01:21.200 and when the TV hit the market and radio hit 1:01:21.240 --> 1:01:23.600 the market, that there was also a deep study of 1:01:23.640 --> 1:01:27.120 the psychological brain and the subconscious. It's not like literally, 1:01:27.120 --> 1:01:29.600 I in the car, I turned down commercials like if 1:01:29.640 --> 1:01:33.200 then radios on. I never listened to programming. I'm so aware. 1:01:33.320 --> 1:01:36.560 Even like when Luna was a baby, I started to 1:01:36.600 --> 1:01:38.960 notice if we would like drive by Jumba Juice, she'd 1:01:38.960 --> 1:01:42.120 be like juice and like how her brain was associating 1:01:42.160 --> 1:01:44.440 the logos at such a young age. I was like, Oh, 1:01:44.440 --> 1:01:46.880 this shit is for real, and like how like the 1:01:46.920 --> 1:01:49.480 Mermaid of like even things that we don't even remember 1:01:49.680 --> 1:01:53.960 in this lifetime, there are things and symbolisms and colors 1:01:54.000 --> 1:01:57.240 and shapes that trigger, you know, knowledge of past lives 1:01:57.280 --> 1:01:59.280 and like our subconscious on a deep, deep level. 1:01:59.360 --> 1:02:02.200 So don't fuck around. That shit is real and true. 1:02:02.440 --> 1:02:05.080 And I spent many years working as a senior copywriter 1:02:05.400 --> 1:02:10.200 in corporate marketing, so I am well versed in obviously 1:02:10.280 --> 1:02:13.560 marketing and anything copywriting, anything words is like my vibe. 1:02:13.600 --> 1:02:18.280 Yeah, there's an emotional Like there's an emotional aspect to 1:02:18.320 --> 1:02:21.800 that as well, where you know how to like ooka 1:02:21.840 --> 1:02:24.960 in that hook in that customer early and then keep 1:02:24.960 --> 1:02:26.440 them there, keep them coming. 1:02:28.800 --> 1:02:29.600 The bob is bobbing. 1:02:29.600 --> 1:02:31.680 Okay, as someone said in the chat, the bob is 1:02:31.680 --> 1:02:34.440 the main character. 1:02:37.000 --> 1:02:37.720 Is it bobbing? 1:02:38.440 --> 1:02:41.560 I think it's tarot time? Okay. I would love for 1:02:41.560 --> 1:02:45.480 you to pick a card please, and thank you. You 1:02:45.600 --> 1:02:47.919 to close your eyes, your hand over there. 1:02:48.160 --> 1:03:00.360 Okay, give it some energy. 1:03:11.080 --> 1:03:22.440 Ham. 1:03:22.560 --> 1:03:25.520 It's two days ago. We're still in it. Yeah, the Yeah, 1:03:25.720 --> 1:03:27.200 we did Capricorn. 1:03:28.680 --> 1:03:30.360 The World, the World. 1:03:30.560 --> 1:03:34.960 See she pulled the world card, not. 1:03:35.080 --> 1:03:35.880 Me pulling the world. 1:03:36.160 --> 1:03:37.720 Let me see what does it look like? What do you? 1:03:37.760 --> 1:03:40.240 What do you when you see it? What do you see? 1:03:40.960 --> 1:03:44.400 I see a beautiful brown woman with wavy hair as 1:03:44.440 --> 1:03:48.320 I have, and she seems to be dancing, twirling with 1:03:48.440 --> 1:03:54.440 a snake. So me, bitch, so me give me tattoos. 1:03:54.600 --> 1:03:55.680 I do have tattoos? 1:03:55.920 --> 1:03:56.400 How many? 1:03:56.880 --> 1:03:59.200 I have one? Really not really big. I have a 1:03:59.320 --> 1:04:01.439 tattoo that goes from hip bone to hip bone around 1:04:01.480 --> 1:04:07.080 my back of naked nymphs in a garden, really wing winged, 1:04:07.640 --> 1:04:08.640 naked naked. 1:04:09.760 --> 1:04:11.080 Yeah I'm not to see that later. 1:04:15.880 --> 1:04:19.160 So this is my card. So it's the world. There's 1:04:19.240 --> 1:04:27.000 a lion, there's a steer, there's an eagle. There's a woman, yeah, 1:04:27.080 --> 1:04:29.600 what the fuck. But honestly, me pulling the world is 1:04:29.640 --> 1:04:31.120 so me, it's so me coated. 1:04:31.720 --> 1:04:32.959 You said you're the center of your world. 1:04:33.000 --> 1:04:35.760 I'm the center. I'm the center I am. 1:04:35.880 --> 1:04:38.480 I'm just giving very much center of the world energy 1:04:38.560 --> 1:04:40.480 in the circle of this reef. 1:04:40.800 --> 1:04:43.400 I mean, you're like the beautiful glow up example of 1:04:43.560 --> 1:04:44.760 staying in your. 1:04:44.600 --> 1:04:47.120 Own bubble, and like, how beneficial it could be. I 1:04:47.160 --> 1:04:48.479 can't hear, I can't see ship. 1:04:48.920 --> 1:04:50.360 I don't know. I don't know what's going on. 1:04:50.560 --> 1:04:51.280 With you people. 1:04:51.320 --> 1:04:56.040 I don't know what's happening. I am. I'm somewhere in upstate. 1:04:55.680 --> 1:04:59.800 New York and the Catskills Hudson Valley, not with a 1:04:59.800 --> 1:05:01.680 white man at. 1:05:01.560 --> 1:05:06.360 All, totally the white men at all, and and and 1:05:06.440 --> 1:05:08.120 my gardens and my gardens. 1:05:08.280 --> 1:05:10.160 Yeah, I'm just living a different line. I have no 1:05:10.200 --> 1:05:12.480 idea what's going on with a few people. 1:05:13.240 --> 1:05:15.320 You're like, no, don't happen, there's nothing going on. 1:05:15.360 --> 1:05:16.360 What's happening down here? 1:05:17.120 --> 1:05:18.640 Tell us what's happening with the world, Jamila. 1:05:18.840 --> 1:05:21.680 Do you know when the world card appears in a 1:05:21.720 --> 1:05:25.520 tarot reading, you are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfillment, 1:05:25.560 --> 1:05:30.040 and completion a long term project, period of study, relationship, 1:05:30.120 --> 1:05:32.760 or career has come full circle, and you are now 1:05:32.960 --> 1:05:37.560 reveling in the sense of closure and accomplishment. This card 1:05:37.640 --> 1:05:46.320 could represent graduation, a marriage, the birth of a child, 1:05:46.600 --> 1:05:50.120 or achieving a long held dream or aspiration. You have 1:05:50.440 --> 1:05:53.800 finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together 1:05:53.880 --> 1:05:56.560 and you are in the right space, doing the right thing, 1:05:56.600 --> 1:06:00.560 achieving what you have envisioned. You feel whole and complete now. 1:06:00.680 --> 1:06:03.200 The World card invites you to reflect on your journey, 1:06:03.480 --> 1:06:07.280 honor your achievements, and tune into your spiritual lessons. Celebrate 1:06:07.320 --> 1:06:09.560 your success and bask in the joy of having brought 1:06:09.600 --> 1:06:14.240 your goals to fruition. All the triumphs and tribulations along 1:06:14.280 --> 1:06:17.840 your path have made you into the strong, wise, more 1:06:17.880 --> 1:06:22.200 experienced person you are now. Express gratitude for what you've 1:06:22.200 --> 1:06:25.800 created and harvested. Finally, make sure you don't rush into 1:06:25.880 --> 1:06:29.040 the next big project. Celebrating your journey will set you 1:06:29.120 --> 1:06:32.520 up for success when you're ready for your next challenge. 1:06:33.880 --> 1:06:35.840 If you have not quite reached this point of completion, 1:06:35.920 --> 1:06:37.920 then you are very close. You may still need to 1:06:38.000 --> 1:06:40.400 add a level of understanding to graduate to a higher 1:06:40.480 --> 1:06:43.919 level and enjoy real success, look back at past experiences, 1:06:44.040 --> 1:06:46.480 acknowledge how far you've come and what you've learned along 1:06:46.520 --> 1:06:50.320 the way. How beautiful for your twentieth year anniversary of this, 1:06:50.520 --> 1:06:54.400 of this like epic book, your first like like your 1:06:54.400 --> 1:06:57.120 first published book, and now you're here, and it's like 1:06:57.600 --> 1:06:59.680 it's still relevant, it's still important. 1:07:00.240 --> 1:07:02.480 Everything you said was to be true, and like. 1:07:02.440 --> 1:07:05.040 Everything I said, like I warned you guys, Like when 1:07:05.040 --> 1:07:07.840 I go through confessions and I I'm reading bits and 1:07:07.880 --> 1:07:09.520 pieces of it, I'm like, how did you guys not 1:07:09.560 --> 1:07:12.520 see what I was saying? Like, bro, I told you 1:07:12.560 --> 1:07:14.880 what was happening. I told you there's some shit going 1:07:14.880 --> 1:07:18.320 on that's not cool. But you're so you're so in 1:07:18.360 --> 1:07:22.200 this country, so you demonize sex so much that you 1:07:22.200 --> 1:07:24.919 were so stuck on the sexual part. You're not looking 1:07:24.960 --> 1:07:28.440 at what was happening around the sex, you know what 1:07:28.480 --> 1:07:32.560 I mean? And and sex is so natural to me 1:07:32.720 --> 1:07:35.439 and such a regular part of life that I didn't 1:07:35.520 --> 1:07:41.360 understand the demonization of the female autonomy. I didn't realize 1:07:41.360 --> 1:07:44.120 that the United States hates female autonomy. I didn't understand 1:07:44.520 --> 1:07:46.840 hates it. And then when you go back to look 1:07:46.920 --> 1:07:50.720 at like the feminine product, the feminine product ads of 1:07:50.760 --> 1:07:55.080 like the nineteen fifties, forties, forties, fifties, sixties, How they 1:07:55.120 --> 1:08:00.440 demonize women's bodies, How they told us to douche with lysol. 1:08:00.000 --> 1:08:05.280 What the lifesaw douche ads are wild, bro, How they 1:08:05.320 --> 1:08:08.360 said that our bodies were disgusting, How our husbands were 1:08:08.440 --> 1:08:11.360 leaving us because we stunk. Have you seen these in 1:08:11.480 --> 1:08:16.519 this Have you not maybe revisit that life saw feminine product. 1:08:16.600 --> 1:08:19.000 You literally had the douche with light saw for your 1:08:19.080 --> 1:08:22.600 husband to stay with you. There was a there was 1:08:22.640 --> 1:08:24.760 a you guys drank at the same time that was 1:08:27.080 --> 1:08:32.760 that was crazy. There were Folgers coffee ads in the 1:08:32.800 --> 1:08:37.040 early nineteen eighties maybe late seventies that were all geared 1:08:37.080 --> 1:08:41.200 to the woman who just did everything wrong and the 1:08:41.320 --> 1:08:45.760 one right thing she did was make Folgers coffee. It 1:08:45.800 --> 1:08:48.840 was like ads for so many decades were about how 1:08:48.880 --> 1:08:49.840 awful women were. 1:08:50.360 --> 1:08:55.000 Programming not even it's the programming. Yeah it's subliminal, but 1:08:55.080 --> 1:08:57.000 not even like pretty much we hate you. 1:08:57.200 --> 1:09:00.360 So now, even though we were not alive at this time, 1:09:00.400 --> 1:09:02.559 you have to think about who was alive at this time, 1:09:02.600 --> 1:09:04.880 and then those are the people who raised you. So 1:09:04.920 --> 1:09:08.320 the grandmothers who raised your mothers, the mothers who raised you, 1:09:08.439 --> 1:09:12.160 and so the programming carries on. And then you have 1:09:12.240 --> 1:09:14.960 to think about also the programming of the nineteen eighties 1:09:15.000 --> 1:09:19.439 when AIDS hit really big and how sex became bad 1:09:20.120 --> 1:09:22.960 and like you had to have sex with your married 1:09:23.040 --> 1:09:25.759 partner or whatever it was, or you know, you couldn't 1:09:25.760 --> 1:09:29.760 have casual sex because casual sex was killing people. And 1:09:29.840 --> 1:09:34.200 so we still got this programming decades later, even though 1:09:34.240 --> 1:09:38.439 we now understand how to protect ourselves and that you know, 1:09:38.479 --> 1:09:42.200 we can have casual sex without dying, like it doesn't 1:09:42.240 --> 1:09:45.920 have to be so dire to where a single woman 1:09:46.240 --> 1:09:49.439 is going to die if she's having sex with people 1:09:49.520 --> 1:09:53.240 that she's not married to. But that programming, those are 1:09:53.240 --> 1:09:55.360 the people who raised you. And so you know, you're 1:09:55.400 --> 1:09:57.880 you're getting this kind of hand me down programming and 1:09:57.920 --> 1:10:01.400 you're wondering. Some like me comes along and you're like, 1:10:02.360 --> 1:10:05.120 what is this shit? Like what do you mean sexual autonomy? 1:10:05.120 --> 1:10:06.640 And you can have sex with whoever you want to, 1:10:06.680 --> 1:10:08.880 whenever you want to, however you want, wherever you want to, 1:10:09.479 --> 1:10:12.680 and it really upset people and fuck them, I don't care. 1:10:12.800 --> 1:10:21.400 But listen, no matter what relationship, non relationship. I still 1:10:21.400 --> 1:10:24.320 hold on to my sexual autonomy. I can do whatever 1:10:24.320 --> 1:10:27.280 I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, how 1:10:27.320 --> 1:10:32.120 I want, and no society will take that from me. 1:10:33.960 --> 1:10:37.160 Sometimes it just so happens that the sex that I 1:10:37.200 --> 1:10:41.280 want is with one person, and that's what I want, 1:10:42.160 --> 1:10:44.640 and the option here, and the thing about feminism is 1:10:44.680 --> 1:10:47.800 about options and that I don't have to do what 1:10:47.840 --> 1:10:49.840 you tell me, or you tell me, or you tell me. 1:10:50.080 --> 1:10:52.839 I do what I tell me to do. And sometimes 1:10:52.840 --> 1:10:55.240 what I want to do is to be with just 1:10:55.360 --> 1:10:59.720 one really awesome, amazing person and only have sex with 1:10:59.720 --> 1:11:04.519 that one person for years and years and years and years. 1:11:05.080 --> 1:11:07.320 And that's my choice as a feminist. 1:11:08.120 --> 1:11:10.920 Mm hmm. That's the direction you're going in. 1:11:10.960 --> 1:11:13.800 You want to just sometimes I want I don't know's 1:11:15.080 --> 1:11:15.840 I'm heavy on this. 1:11:15.920 --> 1:11:18.920 Sometimes sometimes I'm old battle gang bank. 1:11:18.960 --> 1:11:21.599 I don't know, to me not to me? Whatever I want. 1:11:21.640 --> 1:11:24.400 A nice little gang bank can go a long way. 1:11:25.120 --> 1:11:26.559 Are you gonna tell us about your. 1:11:28.160 --> 1:11:31.160 Am I guess I can share my HOORI now. 1:11:35.760 --> 1:11:37.320 Who stories? 1:11:40.120 --> 1:11:40.960 This is the horror story? 1:11:41.280 --> 1:11:41.439 You know? 1:11:41.520 --> 1:11:44.479 Every time every time Elizabeth comes, I feel motivated as 1:11:44.520 --> 1:11:45.719 you bring you back from the garden. 1:11:45.760 --> 1:11:46.840 And even though she's. 1:11:46.880 --> 1:11:48.559 Literally has a pearl on her neck right now, she 1:11:48.560 --> 1:11:51.400 has a pearl and alais one single pearl on her 1:11:51.479 --> 1:11:55.920 neck with her low cut v neck exposed, just a 1:11:55.920 --> 1:11:58.040 little classic cleavage, little little pearl. 1:11:58.080 --> 1:12:00.880 What's the matter with the pearl? I'm clutching my. 1:12:02.320 --> 1:12:02.519 One. 1:12:02.600 --> 1:12:08.559 This is clutching my pearl, Like these holes are crazy, crazy. 1:12:08.640 --> 1:12:09.960 But tell me about your m M. 1:12:10.560 --> 1:12:13.920 Last time you were here, I shared a story three years. 1:12:13.760 --> 1:12:17.720 Ago where I went to my fuck buddy's house and 1:12:17.760 --> 1:12:19.840 he had a trans woman there and like we like 1:12:19.880 --> 1:12:22.559 tried to have a threesome. And that was the story 1:12:22.600 --> 1:12:25.200 I told you last time because the day we interviewed, 1:12:25.280 --> 1:12:27.320 I almost slept in because I just come home from 1:12:27.320 --> 1:12:30.360 that and Orlando was calling me from New York like, bitch, 1:12:30.400 --> 1:12:32.479 wake up, and I was telling him that I was. 1:12:32.520 --> 1:12:33.640 I told my boyfriend about it. 1:12:33.680 --> 1:12:36.080 But now my boyfriend's my fiance and he's here, and 1:12:36.120 --> 1:12:37.240 now my horry includes him. 1:12:37.240 --> 1:12:38.479 Aren't you happy you moved here? 1:12:38.520 --> 1:12:38.840 Babe? 1:12:39.479 --> 1:12:40.479 They don't have to hear about my. 1:12:42.040 --> 1:12:42.639 I'm lying. 1:12:44.360 --> 1:12:46.800 He's happy like a pig and ship like he's so 1:12:46.920 --> 1:12:49.360 fucking happy, Like what would you gonna be doing? 1:12:49.680 --> 1:12:50.639 A desk and ship. 1:12:50.680 --> 1:12:52.320 You were gonna be in the Bronx somewhere, like what 1:12:52.520 --> 1:12:55.680 was you gonna be doing nothing? He would be doing nothing, 1:12:55.960 --> 1:12:58.280 not you went best? I doing nothing? Like what do 1:12:58.360 --> 1:13:00.000 you mean, Mila saved your life? 1:13:00.200 --> 1:13:00.519 I did. 1:13:00.560 --> 1:13:02.479 In the words of Ken the Man, I'm your first 1:13:02.479 --> 1:13:06.639 bab bitch. I love Ken the Man, by the way, 1:13:06.760 --> 1:13:11.760 I love number one song right now is First the First. 1:13:12.400 --> 1:13:19.200 I'm that nigga first bab bach Sorry. 1:13:18.080 --> 1:13:20.120 Let me drink my butt like not me thinking I'm like, 1:13:20.320 --> 1:13:23.719 I'm mine. He never really had a bad bitch before me. 1:13:24.520 --> 1:13:27.000 Thinking about it like you're a white man's first bad bitch. 1:13:27.920 --> 1:13:30.160 Yeah, you swear it's a white man like. 1:13:32.760 --> 1:13:36.480 Latino, what is he? 1:13:38.000 --> 1:13:39.920 But I think I'm his first bad bitch? Like what 1:13:40.000 --> 1:13:40.439 you mean? 1:13:41.040 --> 1:13:43.240 Listen to First by King the Man Relea here, I 1:13:43.280 --> 1:13:45.280 Love the Man. You don't really feel that one. I'm 1:13:45.280 --> 1:13:47.479 a I'm a meth Sorry. So you know, a couple 1:13:47.520 --> 1:13:50.960 of weeks ago, it was my birthday and I was 1:13:51.000 --> 1:13:53.120 going to have like a little birthday party at the house, 1:13:53.280 --> 1:13:55.479 and then we extended our trip in Costa Rica. So 1:13:55.520 --> 1:13:57.200 we got back the day of the birthday party, and 1:13:57.200 --> 1:13:59.760 I was like, this is not realistic and my homegirl 1:13:59.760 --> 1:14:03.519 had and she was like, you know that guy that 1:14:03.560 --> 1:14:05.600 we facetimed on so and So's birthday, Like, do you 1:14:05.640 --> 1:14:07.320 mind if I talked to him? And this is one 1:14:07.320 --> 1:14:09.080 of my like my back in the day niggas that 1:14:09.200 --> 1:14:10.400 you know, I've know him for a long time that 1:14:10.439 --> 1:14:11.960 I used to fuck on. And I was like, no, 1:14:12.040 --> 1:14:14.720 he's a really nice guy and he has a big dick, 1:14:14.840 --> 1:14:17.599 you know. And I was like, actually, I was going 1:14:17.640 --> 1:14:19.679 to have a party on Saturday, but instead of having 1:14:19.680 --> 1:14:22.240 a full blown party, let's just have a full person 1:14:22.320 --> 1:14:28.240 party because I'm trying to read make this other foursome 1:14:28.280 --> 1:14:30.040 that I had last year. But now it's my birthday, 1:14:30.080 --> 1:14:31.960 so I have a reason to push for it. Orlando 1:14:32.120 --> 1:14:34.439 was like like, oh, it is your birthday, okay. So 1:14:34.479 --> 1:14:37.000 I was like, yeah, it's my birthday. So I got 1:14:37.080 --> 1:14:38.840 hurt or agree. I got him to agree, and so 1:14:38.920 --> 1:14:40.639 the plan was that we're going to have I called 1:14:40.680 --> 1:14:46.280 it a kinky kickback, like that kinky kickback at my house. 1:14:46.560 --> 1:14:48.840 And but then I started to get cold feet. I 1:14:48.880 --> 1:14:50.840 started to get worried. I was like, you know, I'm 1:14:50.840 --> 1:14:52.479 like I used to be a lesbian, but I'm not 1:14:52.520 --> 1:14:55.599 so lesbian, Like now I'm like, I don't want to like. 1:14:55.600 --> 1:14:57.120 Necessarily have to eat pussy. 1:14:57.240 --> 1:14:59.080 And I started getting in my head, it's my friend, 1:14:59.160 --> 1:15:00.720 and then I was like, shut the fuck up. 1:15:01.600 --> 1:15:02.000 Okay. 1:15:02.080 --> 1:15:06.840 So anyway, as a night started to progress, cleaned up, 1:15:06.880 --> 1:15:09.040 and then I realized, like she kept bullshitting. She was like, 1:15:09.080 --> 1:15:10.640 I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the bar. I'm 1:15:10.640 --> 1:15:12.439 still at the bar, and I was like, okay. The 1:15:12.640 --> 1:15:15.479 guy pulled up and we like walked to the store, 1:15:15.840 --> 1:15:17.559 and you know, I live right by a sex shop 1:15:17.640 --> 1:15:20.320 because the and so we made a detour in the 1:15:20.360 --> 1:15:20.880 sex shop. 1:15:20.920 --> 1:15:22.240 We're like laughing, like, oh, what's that? 1:15:22.880 --> 1:15:23.120 You know? 1:15:23.320 --> 1:15:24.400 Four play sex shop? 1:15:24.680 --> 1:15:26.000 But then I was like, can't believe this bitch is 1:15:26.040 --> 1:15:27.559 gonna leave me? Like how am I supposed to like 1:15:27.560 --> 1:15:30.360 seduce two men? Like this is gonna be like awkward. 1:15:31.240 --> 1:15:33.320 I was just like I was skidding in my head, 1:15:33.360 --> 1:15:34.200 you know. But then when. 1:15:35.600 --> 1:15:37.120 Exactly I don't even know what I was worried about. 1:15:37.360 --> 1:15:39.919 Then we got there and we're like chilling and eating 1:15:40.040 --> 1:15:43.400 and drinking, smoking a blunt and it was really nice. 1:15:43.439 --> 1:15:47.240 They they surprised me with a cake. They had a 1:15:47.280 --> 1:15:49.479 cake and a candle and they sing me not happy. 1:15:49.520 --> 1:15:52.680 I don't I don't accept happy birthdays anymore. We just 1:15:52.680 --> 1:15:55.840 sang the Jamaican happy Birthday song. It's an anniversary, not 1:15:55.880 --> 1:15:58.599 a birthday because I'm twenty four. Jamaican happy birthday song, 1:15:58.800 --> 1:16:03.879 Happy birthday friend one mo yeah, put on them, Oh 1:16:04.280 --> 1:16:05.360 give thanks for life. 1:16:05.880 --> 1:16:07.720 Oh I'm from Saint Thomas. Honey, we don't do it. 1:16:07.960 --> 1:16:08.679 I'm gonna have this thing. 1:16:08.680 --> 1:16:10.519 That song, Yeah, I need, I need that in my life. 1:16:10.560 --> 1:16:12.880 You don't need the birthday song so fucking ritual that 1:16:13.000 --> 1:16:13.479 ages you. 1:16:14.000 --> 1:16:15.280 So they sang. 1:16:15.160 --> 1:16:21.240 Orlando did my favorite karaoke song, mister Boombastic Super Important, 1:16:21.720 --> 1:16:23.680 and I got really excited over the birthday. I was 1:16:23.760 --> 1:16:25.600 just like, wow, this is so specially you guys like 1:16:26.000 --> 1:16:28.639 coordinated behind my back because I I made a group 1:16:28.720 --> 1:16:30.240 chat and they mussa have like went on the side. 1:16:30.760 --> 1:16:35.000 And then we just came back from an epic Costa 1:16:35.040 --> 1:16:38.160 Rican couple's retreat. We just landed that day and I 1:16:38.200 --> 1:16:41.759 had three blue you like glow in the dark lights 1:16:41.800 --> 1:16:44.519 and one package glow in the dark paint. So Orlando's like, 1:16:44.560 --> 1:16:45.960 let's do the glow with the glow in the dark. 1:16:46.000 --> 1:16:48.160 I was like, okay, Okay, that's the glow in the dark. 1:16:48.800 --> 1:16:50.840 I put a mattress in the middle of the living 1:16:50.920 --> 1:16:53.200 room in front of this huge mirror. We turn off 1:16:53.240 --> 1:16:55.200 all the lights. We turned on the blue lights, and 1:16:55.240 --> 1:16:57.160 then like they started painting me. And I was like, oh, 1:16:57.160 --> 1:17:00.719 I'm so cool. I got two niggas painting me. I'm naked, 1:17:01.360 --> 1:17:04.639 I was smoking of lent. They're like putting powerful words 1:17:04.680 --> 1:17:09.360 on me, like power, pissy, insert here, you know here. 1:17:09.680 --> 1:17:15.080 Oh, and so we did that and then we did 1:17:15.120 --> 1:17:16.719 like a little like tantric practice. 1:17:16.800 --> 1:17:18.200 I put both their hands, was like, let's just take 1:17:18.200 --> 1:17:20.960 a moment, you know, before we like whatever we're about 1:17:20.960 --> 1:17:22.640 to get into. And then the guy or I like 1:17:22.640 --> 1:17:24.600 went to the bathroom and he was like I was like, 1:17:24.640 --> 1:17:25.040 can't with this. 1:17:25.040 --> 1:17:26.840 Bitch show up. He's like, we're still going. 1:17:26.760 --> 1:17:28.800 To do it. I was like, hell, yeah, we're going 1:17:28.880 --> 1:17:29.439 to do it. 1:17:30.120 --> 1:17:33.719 One bitch, don't stop, no show right right. I'm like, yeah, 1:17:33.960 --> 1:17:34.639 we're doing it. 1:17:34.840 --> 1:17:36.400 So then Lana came back and we like did a 1:17:36.439 --> 1:17:38.679 little tantic exercise and I was just like, put both 1:17:38.680 --> 1:17:40.400 their hands on my heart, on top of each other, 1:17:40.439 --> 1:17:42.439 and I was like, this is about pleasure, this is 1:17:42.439 --> 1:17:45.680 about freedom, This is about trust, about friendship, about love. 1:17:45.680 --> 1:17:50.280 About me more importantly, I'm the center of the world today. 1:17:51.080 --> 1:17:52.840 And then we're like yeah. 1:17:53.360 --> 1:17:57.600 I was like, okay, everybody's breathe released the sound and 1:17:57.680 --> 1:17:59.000 they did and it was really cute. 1:17:59.000 --> 1:17:59.160 You know. 1:17:59.280 --> 1:18:01.719 He was just like, wow, I've never just like painted, 1:18:01.840 --> 1:18:03.400 Like I just not like what should I pay? I'm 1:18:03.400 --> 1:18:06.200 like whatever you want, and he was just like just really. 1:18:06.000 --> 1:18:08.439 Like, this is a lot of words for a threesome. 1:18:08.760 --> 1:18:11.040 It's crazy crazy. 1:18:11.400 --> 1:18:12.599 What's the last three cent you had? 1:18:13.640 --> 1:18:16.040 First of all, your mother store, don't worry about me, 1:18:16.160 --> 1:18:20.559 don't mean so, don't rush. It's a lot though it's 1:18:20.600 --> 1:18:23.080 been some decades. But also it's a lot. 1:18:23.280 --> 1:18:23.439 Bro. 1:18:23.640 --> 1:18:30.120 Is this like a millennial three gen Z three? Because 1:18:30.160 --> 1:18:32.599 back in my day we just tutor ass and get 1:18:32.600 --> 1:18:37.360 to the business reason and ship and it's paint. They're 1:18:37.400 --> 1:18:38.880 all kind of glowing the dark. 1:18:39.200 --> 1:18:39.720 What is this? 1:18:40.120 --> 1:18:41.200 It's called an activation? 1:18:41.640 --> 1:18:44.479 Oh my god, I called a birdie man in my 1:18:44.520 --> 1:18:46.040 living rooms? 1:18:46.280 --> 1:18:47.120 Is an activation? 1:18:47.320 --> 1:18:48.639 We had an activation before? 1:18:48.680 --> 1:18:53.679 You mean, we need paint to active coach at the house. 1:18:57.040 --> 1:19:00.760 Okay, we're almost there, when do tell me? Tell me 1:19:00.760 --> 1:19:01.920 who put it in first? 1:19:02.000 --> 1:19:06.720 Like, I'm just trying to get and then after that 1:19:06.720 --> 1:19:07.559 we got in the shower. 1:19:07.840 --> 1:19:14.920 Oh my god, oh my gosh, hush, let me tell 1:19:14.960 --> 1:19:15.320 my story. 1:19:15.320 --> 1:19:23.760 This is my story, so crazy. Three some is this. 1:19:23.760 --> 1:19:26.720 This is the new threesomes TikTok three. 1:19:28.160 --> 1:19:29.320 This is how I start my TikTok. 1:19:29.320 --> 1:19:34.200 I can tell my story three crazy, the others three cent. 1:19:34.240 --> 1:19:38.280 There's a lot of pivotal words in this. That's a 1:19:38.280 --> 1:19:38.639 lot of. 1:19:40.200 --> 1:19:42.240 Thousand and five crazy. 1:19:42.400 --> 1:19:43.400 Shut the fuck up. 1:19:44.920 --> 1:19:47.960 So then hours then the paint off. 1:19:48.640 --> 1:19:51.160 Oh my god, the paint off of us, you bitch, 1:19:51.760 --> 1:19:52.320 you bitch. 1:19:53.360 --> 1:19:56.960 There we get to Orlando. You would here for this bullshir. 1:19:58.800 --> 1:20:00.519 We got in the shower and I was like, I 1:20:00.560 --> 1:20:01.360 put him in the shower. 1:20:01.439 --> 1:20:03.200 I gave him a towel and like a wash clob, 1:20:03.360 --> 1:20:04.880 and I came back to the living room then report 1:20:04.920 --> 1:20:06.439 him with my man because I wasn't sure what he 1:20:06.479 --> 1:20:08.280 wanted me to do. He was like, I'm gonna get 1:20:08.280 --> 1:20:09.400 in the other shower, and I was. 1:20:09.320 --> 1:20:13.439 Like, oh my god, another shower, this too, shower, bed 1:20:13.520 --> 1:20:16.599 bit rich, just two showers, bitch. 1:20:20.080 --> 1:20:21.920 We got in the shower. 1:20:23.120 --> 1:20:23.960 For my story. 1:20:24.000 --> 1:20:28.280 Girlies, who care about a fucking anticipation? She's trying to 1:20:28.479 --> 1:20:31.800 get grasped and hook them. Shut up, God, let the 1:20:31.840 --> 1:20:32.479 bitch live. 1:20:33.280 --> 1:20:35.080 So me. 1:20:36.520 --> 1:20:38.360 We're in the shower, and then I thought, you know, 1:20:38.600 --> 1:20:40.479 we were washing each other off, and then he text 1:20:40.520 --> 1:20:42.639 my plissy and I was like, oh no, did Orlando 1:20:42.800 --> 1:20:46.960 even give me permission to the Then I hopped out anyway, 1:20:47.000 --> 1:20:48.320 and then we said, let's go in the living room 1:20:48.360 --> 1:20:50.240 again with the blue light and put baby on. Let's 1:20:50.280 --> 1:20:52.120 put coconut oil all over ourselves so we could be 1:20:52.120 --> 1:20:55.439 like Heisha from Belly. So we did, and then Orlando said, 1:20:55.560 --> 1:21:00.479 all right, the shiny one. So then shiny she no 1:21:00.640 --> 1:21:04.559 specifically that scene with her it's blue. So we did that, 1:21:04.640 --> 1:21:08.640 and then Orlando said took him to put a blindfold 1:21:08.720 --> 1:21:10.840 on the bed, two blindfolds, and told me come in 1:21:10.880 --> 1:21:13.240 there in twenty seconds, poor a drink and come in there. 1:21:13.400 --> 1:21:14.599 And then when I came in there, they were both 1:21:14.600 --> 1:21:16.640 on the bed naked with blindfolds on. And then I 1:21:16.680 --> 1:21:19.519 just did whatever I wanted and I sat on Orlando's dick, 1:21:19.520 --> 1:21:21.360 I said, on both of their faces. 1:21:21.000 --> 1:21:22.360 And then to take his off. 1:21:22.400 --> 1:21:23.800 The guy had his on, and I was like, should 1:21:23.800 --> 1:21:26.160 I take us off? He was like no, so you're 1:21:26.200 --> 1:21:28.880 just like so then so then we did the Eiffel Tower, 1:21:29.000 --> 1:21:30.360 which was really important. 1:21:30.000 --> 1:21:31.880 To me because this white, ash old tower. 1:21:32.000 --> 1:21:33.760 I'll show you, oh you'll show me. 1:21:34.360 --> 1:21:38.040 Like one guys this way right, Okay, one the mouth, Okay, 1:21:38.280 --> 1:21:39.639 dick in the pissy right. 1:21:39.680 --> 1:21:43.960 They go like this, No, one guy's here. One guys there. 1:21:43.960 --> 1:21:47.560 They're touching hands so they can connect, like it's a 1:21:47.600 --> 1:21:48.439 bonding experience. 1:21:48.560 --> 1:21:50.559 How they're like slapping each their's hands like this. 1:21:50.640 --> 1:21:51.840 And I was like, let's look in the mirror because 1:21:51.920 --> 1:21:53.000 I can't take a picture. 1:21:52.760 --> 1:21:55.280 So the way I would weak their asses. It was 1:21:55.320 --> 1:21:55.719 my idea. 1:21:55.840 --> 1:21:57.880 First I was like, okay, touch hands, and then I 1:21:57.920 --> 1:22:00.800 was like, look what we're doing it. 1:22:01.000 --> 1:22:03.519 So it's like a oh my god, I'm so old. 1:22:03.880 --> 1:22:04.880 It's called the Eiffel Tower. 1:22:04.920 --> 1:22:07.160 Okay, this young bitch told me five years ago, and 1:22:07.240 --> 1:22:09.880 I was determined to did my my Eiffel Tower on 1:22:09.920 --> 1:22:12.160 and they participated and then we just got it pop 1:22:12.200 --> 1:22:13.880 in and I had it was just really you know, 1:22:14.080 --> 1:22:16.800 we switched, you know, and it lasted a long time. 1:22:16.840 --> 1:22:20.120 The poor guy fell asleep. Mear Lando kept sucking and 1:22:20.320 --> 1:22:22.680 you know, he left around eleven am. And it was 1:22:22.760 --> 1:22:26.320 just really beautiful and everything was about me. It got 1:22:26.360 --> 1:22:29.599 like my pussy ate my ass ate at the same time, 1:22:30.160 --> 1:22:33.320 and just a lot of things that you know, every 1:22:33.360 --> 1:22:35.360 girl shook it once a year in their birthday. 1:22:35.640 --> 1:22:38.200 I like that. The Eiffel Tower, So. 1:22:38.120 --> 1:22:39.559 If you guys haven't tried the Eiffel Tower. 1:22:40.479 --> 1:22:44.800 Two men touching hands while I'm getting like roasted is not. 1:22:45.200 --> 1:22:47.960 It was like very like that's a wonder Twins ship. 1:22:47.920 --> 1:22:50.519 Like it's activation of energy. 1:22:50.560 --> 1:22:51.719 It was a tan trick. 1:22:51.800 --> 1:22:56.400 Threesome activation was like divine, masculine. 1:22:55.920 --> 1:22:57.479 And everyone's touching at the same time. 1:22:57.640 --> 1:23:01.120 The guys are touching sort of like just not just 1:23:01.200 --> 1:23:03.519 enough to not be gay, so they just like them. 1:23:03.439 --> 1:23:06.440 Their hands and we know you don't. 1:23:05.640 --> 1:23:06.880 Want them to be inside each other. 1:23:07.040 --> 1:23:08.680 I know that didn't happen. I just want them to 1:23:08.720 --> 1:23:09.120 be inside. 1:23:09.120 --> 1:23:10.639 Do you watch do you watch a gay porn? 1:23:10.800 --> 1:23:14.919 I love threesome porn where both guys. 1:23:15.720 --> 1:23:17.960 I love by MMF two that's my favorite. By m 1:23:18.080 --> 1:23:19.519 MF oh bye me. 1:23:19.600 --> 1:23:23.679 But then everybody's there's no hands off. I mean, obviously 1:23:23.760 --> 1:23:25.639 by my dating history. I love a bye guy. 1:23:25.760 --> 1:23:26.519 I saw I was. 1:23:26.760 --> 1:23:28.320 I watched porn last night a little bit just to 1:23:28.360 --> 1:23:30.560 get me going, and it's a little bit just a 1:23:30.600 --> 1:23:32.559 little bit, because I usually because I usually get annoyed 1:23:32.560 --> 1:23:33.760 and I end up turning it off. Then I just 1:23:33.880 --> 1:23:36.640 used my imagination. But I saw a video. There's a 1:23:36.680 --> 1:23:39.679 bunch of selections, and there was one where this girl 1:23:39.760 --> 1:23:41.840 was like in disguised dick and then the guy. 1:23:42.400 --> 1:23:43.639 Was holding another guy's dick. 1:23:44.840 --> 1:23:47.479 Speaking of that, what I love? That got some news 1:23:47.479 --> 1:23:49.519 from my gay friends last night. I saw one of 1:23:49.600 --> 1:23:53.320 our porn friends in an orgy and he's graduated, and 1:23:53.360 --> 1:23:56.320 he was fucking a bitch and jacking a dick off 1:23:56.479 --> 1:23:58.679 a dick like a man's dick porn? 1:23:58.960 --> 1:24:00.920 Was he was? Was he not doing that before? He 1:24:00.960 --> 1:24:01.720 was touching mema? 1:24:01.800 --> 1:24:02.280 Graduated? 1:24:02.479 --> 1:24:02.959 Graduated? 1:24:04.760 --> 1:24:06.680 Yeah, I graduated anyway, Sorry, did dressed up? 1:24:06.760 --> 1:24:11.320 He dressed up like a we'll talk about later, Okay. Anyway, 1:24:11.400 --> 1:24:13.280 I saw that visual and I said, no, thank you. 1:24:13.640 --> 1:24:14.960 I don't want any parts of that. I don't have 1:24:15.000 --> 1:24:16.880 any interest in seeing any guys tracking off any other 1:24:16.880 --> 1:24:20.639 guys or putting dicks on anybody who holds no no that. 1:24:20.720 --> 1:24:23.360 I want all the attention to be on me, and 1:24:23.479 --> 1:24:25.800 you guys just couldnspire for my pleasure. 1:24:25.840 --> 1:24:27.439 You guys don't need to be pleasing each other. It's 1:24:27.479 --> 1:24:28.240 just not. It's just not. 1:24:28.520 --> 1:24:30.160 One of my favorite things about one of my exes 1:24:30.320 --> 1:24:31.880 was how many fingers he would take? 1:24:32.840 --> 1:24:34.880 How many it was like three or four? 1:24:35.000 --> 1:24:35.880 Which ex. 1:24:38.160 --> 1:24:38.320 You know? 1:24:39.520 --> 1:24:42.479 It was like this. It was like one of these 1:24:42.960 --> 1:24:44.120 how small or bigger hand is? 1:24:44.120 --> 1:24:47.400 I could be a regular one of my recent excesses 1:24:48.800 --> 1:24:49.799 that you asked me about. 1:24:50.479 --> 1:24:56.000 Interesting before that's seems like you might have done that before. 1:24:56.200 --> 1:24:56.920 Did you train it at? 1:24:57.600 --> 1:24:59.320 I didn't have to. It was it was already done 1:24:59.360 --> 1:24:59.560 for me. 1:25:00.080 --> 1:25:01.800 Put do you put lou all over your hands and 1:25:01.800 --> 1:25:02.280 then you do that? 1:25:02.360 --> 1:25:04.080 I didn't have to. He was just open and ready. 1:25:04.160 --> 1:25:06.680 He he's by he was he had boyfriends. 1:25:06.800 --> 1:25:07.840 He was already lubed. 1:25:08.000 --> 1:25:10.800 Yeah, he yeah, he's he's super clean. This other thing too, 1:25:10.880 --> 1:25:13.840 like he's super close. When I knew was that in 1:25:14.280 --> 1:25:20.800 the oral copulation part, like in the in the ring 1:25:20.840 --> 1:25:24.160 around a rosie part of the sexual intercourse. He was 1:25:24.280 --> 1:25:26.759 super clean all the time. So I knew that he douched. 1:25:26.800 --> 1:25:29.040 I knew that he cleaned his inside. And then I 1:25:29.120 --> 1:25:35.080 heard from someone in his community how open he was 1:25:35.560 --> 1:25:37.960 to man on man whatever. 1:25:38.120 --> 1:25:39.400 Oh he didn't hear that from him? 1:25:39.520 --> 1:25:42.680 No, he didn't tell me at first, okay, and then 1:25:42.720 --> 1:25:46.040 I asked him if we could have like a threesome 1:25:46.520 --> 1:25:49.240 or like a four sum and he said yes, but 1:25:49.360 --> 1:25:54.599 he wanted a man, and I was like absolutely yes. 1:25:54.760 --> 1:25:57.160 It was like, yeah, he wanted to have like another 1:25:57.240 --> 1:25:58.320 woman and another man. 1:25:58.479 --> 1:26:01.040 Yeah, like a swinger of situation, but everybody is playing. 1:26:01.080 --> 1:26:04.599 But yeah, So what I knew automatically from I didn't 1:26:04.600 --> 1:26:06.840 know at first when we first started seeing each other 1:26:07.760 --> 1:26:09.840 that he was that way, but other people knew. I 1:26:09.840 --> 1:26:13.400 don't listen. I don't know stuff like I'm not on 1:26:13.439 --> 1:26:18.559 the internet enough to know. I'm not in people's business enough, right, 1:26:18.600 --> 1:26:21.479 I don't do the gossip things. I don't know. I 1:26:21.560 --> 1:26:24.719 just thought he painted his nails because he was avant garde. 1:26:25.400 --> 1:26:28.519 I didn't know he paid his nails because he likes boys. 1:26:28.600 --> 1:26:31.719 I didn't know. But when I found out, I didn't 1:26:31.760 --> 1:26:33.880 deter me because that just means that I could do 1:26:34.000 --> 1:26:38.000 more stuff, so that when we were in intimate situations, 1:26:38.040 --> 1:26:41.000 I was able to do more stuff. I was able 1:26:41.000 --> 1:26:44.200 to do butt stuff, which makes me really happy. 1:26:44.439 --> 1:26:46.920 Her pink butting that she likes to bring me love, 1:26:47.040 --> 1:26:49.360 but you prefer by guys, so you could do butt stuff. 1:26:49.400 --> 1:26:51.559 I do prefer by guys who I can do butt stuff. 1:26:51.600 --> 1:26:54.800 But I've also turned, not turned. But also there are 1:26:54.840 --> 1:26:57.400 some guys who have been by curious, who have been 1:26:57.439 --> 1:27:00.639 able to release their curiosity and like let me get 1:27:00.720 --> 1:27:02.599 into their butt. 1:27:02.920 --> 1:27:05.640 Because is that releasing your by curiosity? 1:27:05.680 --> 1:27:07.240 If you like a woman to get into your butt, 1:27:07.280 --> 1:27:08.599 are you releasing your by curiosity? 1:27:08.720 --> 1:27:10.320 I think so. I think I think I am the 1:27:11.160 --> 1:27:16.719 gateway drug to the real penis pinky, then grab because 1:27:16.720 --> 1:27:20.240 if you're curious about stuff in your butt, once a 1:27:20.320 --> 1:27:26.160 man grabs his ankles during once a man grabs his 1:27:26.240 --> 1:27:28.519 ankles and like spreads his cheeks for me, I know 1:27:28.600 --> 1:27:31.160 that he's now open to all kinds of butt play, 1:27:31.160 --> 1:27:33.479 which is great. And then if he wants to be 1:27:33.479 --> 1:27:36.680 by curious with other men, I hope that I have 1:27:36.760 --> 1:27:38.800 given him the confidence to be able to do that, 1:27:38.920 --> 1:27:40.599 to explore his sexuality fully. 1:27:40.840 --> 1:27:43.599 Well, the thing about any dildo is that it's never 1:27:43.640 --> 1:27:45.200 going to be as good as a real dick. So 1:27:45.320 --> 1:27:48.200 if you like a dildo, because let me ask you, 1:27:48.479 --> 1:27:50.839 I try to get this. I try to be lesbian 1:27:50.840 --> 1:27:53.080 for a long time, and I like real dick, So 1:27:53.240 --> 1:27:54.280 it just wasn't gonna work for me. 1:27:54.360 --> 1:27:55.720 I was going to take a plastic dick. 1:27:55.760 --> 1:27:57.479 But if you try a plastid dick and you're like that, 1:27:57.800 --> 1:27:59.120 you're gonna love a real dick. 1:27:59.280 --> 1:28:00.320 Yeah, take it for me. 1:28:00.880 --> 1:28:05.439 So there a been men that have started off regular, 1:28:05.640 --> 1:28:09.160 like closed minded, you know, like okay, and then over 1:28:09.760 --> 1:28:13.040 the years as we dated, I noticed the legs coming 1:28:13.120 --> 1:28:14.800 up up to the point where they're just holding their 1:28:14.840 --> 1:28:17.240 ankles at some point and just let and just give 1:28:17.280 --> 1:28:21.479 me carte blanche of of ass apple. And I love it. 1:28:21.560 --> 1:28:23.320 And I love that for them because I know that 1:28:23.360 --> 1:28:25.519 they're not free. I know that you're free. 1:28:26.120 --> 1:28:29.600 I've freed you. Once the ankles meet the hands in 1:28:29.680 --> 1:28:31.559 the air, I freed you. 1:28:31.720 --> 1:28:35.360 And now you can go and explore whatever that means 1:28:35.400 --> 1:28:36.439 for you, you know what I mean. 1:28:36.720 --> 1:28:41.120 I do feel that men, men that often like. 1:28:41.920 --> 1:28:48.040 Uh like, are hypocritical towards very sexual women. For the 1:28:48.080 --> 1:28:50.720 same amount of men that are hypocritical, they're also very 1:28:50.800 --> 1:28:54.400 curious and feel comfortable with sexual women because they're like, hey, can. 1:28:54.320 --> 1:28:54.760 I tell you that? 1:28:55.400 --> 1:28:57.559 Can you do this? Because you're like, oh, she's open. 1:28:57.640 --> 1:28:59.639 She makes me feel comfortable if she will tell about 1:28:59.640 --> 1:29:01.439 her set life, if she's bold enough to talk about 1:29:01.439 --> 1:29:03.599 her sex life. Then I can tell my little secrets 1:29:03.600 --> 1:29:04.960 and then maybe she'll put her tongue in my ass 1:29:04.960 --> 1:29:06.400 and then maybe I like it, and then maybe like 1:29:06.400 --> 1:29:07.400 a little finger yeah. 1:29:07.400 --> 1:29:08.960 And then they're like, why did you do this? You 1:29:09.000 --> 1:29:11.839 turn me out? I'm like, no, nigga, you asked for that, yeah. 1:29:11.880 --> 1:29:13.719 And that's what I get too, is like sometimes people 1:29:13.720 --> 1:29:16.360 will ask, like, why why are so many men still 1:29:16.360 --> 1:29:19.200 attracted to me after everything I've said and explained and 1:29:19.200 --> 1:29:19.759 wrote about. 1:29:19.840 --> 1:29:21.120 Because they want you to dom them. 1:29:21.280 --> 1:29:21.960 They want to be free. 1:29:22.040 --> 1:29:23.040 They love a dom mommy. 1:29:23.120 --> 1:29:24.120 They want you to dominate. 1:29:25.800 --> 1:29:27.960 But also they know that they're safe. They know that 1:29:27.960 --> 1:29:30.200 their proclivities are safe with me. They know that I've 1:29:30.200 --> 1:29:33.479 seen enough, done enough, I've been enough places two where 1:29:33.479 --> 1:29:36.600 there safe and they're not going to get judged for 1:29:36.640 --> 1:29:41.720 their curiosities with me. And I think that's really really important, 1:29:42.160 --> 1:29:44.280 and that's important for me too, so that whatever my 1:29:44.360 --> 1:29:48.400 curiosities are sexually, especially that I know that I'm safe 1:29:48.400 --> 1:29:51.640 and I'm in a safe space. And so there's no 1:29:51.760 --> 1:29:56.960 shortage of men. There no shortage of like wealthy, powerful, 1:29:57.040 --> 1:30:00.639 successful men especially who feel as if they can explore 1:30:00.680 --> 1:30:04.679 their sexuality with just any old body because that any 1:30:04.680 --> 1:30:07.479 old person will tell. And so it's like, if you 1:30:07.520 --> 1:30:10.240 want to dress up like a baby and wear a diaper, 1:30:11.120 --> 1:30:11.519 you know. 1:30:11.640 --> 1:30:14.400 And feast on Jamala's nipples. 1:30:14.120 --> 1:30:19.439 Yeah, then then listen. I call Jamila right now, like 1:30:19.439 --> 1:30:20.400 we'll have something for that. 1:30:20.560 --> 1:30:23.000 Yeah, exactly, Like, hey, gir out, but what time? 1:30:23.200 --> 1:30:27.479 Okay, Okay, you're not gonna get judged. I'm not. 1:30:27.720 --> 1:30:28.000 I'm not. 1:30:28.240 --> 1:30:30.559 There's there's a level of non judgment that comes from 1:30:30.560 --> 1:30:33.080 fucking with free women that men seek. And I find 1:30:33.080 --> 1:30:36.120 that with religious men, nerdy men, men that act like 1:30:36.120 --> 1:30:38.360 they don't want then about that life, but secretly they 1:30:38.360 --> 1:30:39.760 want to be about that life. 1:30:39.479 --> 1:30:40.559 And that that's real. 1:30:40.760 --> 1:30:43.160 There, you could be hypocritical and you could think that 1:30:43.160 --> 1:30:45.400 everybody thinks you must let but that same nigg would 1:30:45.360 --> 1:30:47.519 be in my d MS or in my phone saying, hey, 1:30:48.160 --> 1:30:52.040 I heard you talk about ebony galore MMS five. 1:30:52.640 --> 1:30:55.560 Yeah it's true. And then also too, there's the there's 1:30:55.640 --> 1:31:00.120 this thing that happens where men. Okay, so patriarchy hurts everybody. 1:31:00.600 --> 1:31:05.479 So patriarchal norms and conformities say that you have to 1:31:05.520 --> 1:31:10.000 marry a quote unquote good girl, and that that girl 1:31:10.240 --> 1:31:12.439 that a good girl. Has to have not had sex 1:31:12.560 --> 1:31:15.400 at all or have had sex with very few people. 1:31:15.960 --> 1:31:19.720 And so now you marry, you date, you marry the 1:31:19.920 --> 1:31:23.880 good girl, and the good girl doesn't know how, she 1:31:23.960 --> 1:31:26.280 doesn't take it in the ass. That's a quote unquote 1:31:26.280 --> 1:31:28.920 bad girl thing, or it's a whatever thing, whatever your 1:31:29.000 --> 1:31:31.160 proclivities are. So then what happens is that then that 1:31:31.240 --> 1:31:33.439 man then cheats on his good girl with a quote 1:31:33.479 --> 1:31:37.080 unquote bad girl. And then you now you're getting divorced. 1:31:37.120 --> 1:31:38.280 Now you're losing everything. 1:31:38.320 --> 1:31:41.920 Now to that set quote unquote sled exactly right. 1:31:42.000 --> 1:31:44.200 But now you're losing everything because you married the good girl. 1:31:44.200 --> 1:31:47.040 The church, the church mom, the church. 1:31:48.439 --> 1:31:48.920 Her wry. 1:31:49.160 --> 1:31:53.360 But but but patriarchy says that you need to be 1:31:53.400 --> 1:31:56.760 with this person, and that becomes a problem. And so 1:31:57.760 --> 1:32:01.360 this is how patriarchy hurts everybody be because now you're 1:32:01.520 --> 1:32:05.720 dating and marrying based on what those standards are. And 1:32:05.760 --> 1:32:07.840 then you but you don't really want that person. You 1:32:07.880 --> 1:32:11.439 want someone who's going to make your toes curl, Who 1:32:11.560 --> 1:32:15.120 is going to make you climb up the wall, who's 1:32:15.160 --> 1:32:19.439 gonna make you climb it, Who's gonna suck you so wet, 1:32:19.680 --> 1:32:23.040 so hard, so long, Who's gonna use both her hands 1:32:23.080 --> 1:32:25.400 and all of her throat. Who's going to take you in, 1:32:25.880 --> 1:32:28.320 Who's gonna make you just come down her throat? And 1:32:28.600 --> 1:32:29.639 like you want this? 1:32:30.680 --> 1:32:33.040 Call me a little dirty bitch, yes, like. 1:32:33.000 --> 1:32:36.040 A come dump type of bitch, Like you want this, bitch. 1:32:36.320 --> 1:32:38.760 But patriarchy says you can't marry that. 1:32:38.800 --> 1:32:40.759 They want Men love slugs. 1:32:40.840 --> 1:32:42.160 Men. First of all, men love sluts. 1:32:42.160 --> 1:32:42.320 Men. 1:32:42.600 --> 1:32:44.080 I wrote a book called men Love Sluts that I 1:32:44.120 --> 1:32:47.400 haven't published yet. Men love sluts. But then you marry 1:32:47.400 --> 1:32:50.960 the church marm because that's what that's what patriarchy says 1:32:51.000 --> 1:32:51.639 you need to marry. 1:32:51.680 --> 1:32:53.640 And then you suck the slug behind her back, right, 1:32:54.200 --> 1:32:55.240 you lose trust. 1:32:57.200 --> 1:33:00.920 Anyway, and then you lose everything. You're in divorce court. 1:33:00.920 --> 1:33:03.120 You're losing half of your money, you're losing your kids, 1:33:03.120 --> 1:33:05.719 you're losing your house, You're losing everything because you didn't 1:33:05.720 --> 1:33:09.400 marry the whore. I've been married three times, there's this 1:33:09.560 --> 1:33:12.799 is four. I am not in any shortage of husbands 1:33:12.880 --> 1:33:17.360 or wanna be husbands or fiances like men are clamoring 1:33:17.400 --> 1:33:19.240 to fucking marry me, becauset the end of the day, 1:33:19.320 --> 1:33:21.800 what you're gonna get is your food's gonna be coked. 1:33:21.840 --> 1:33:24.040 Your house it's gonna be clean, Your dick's gonna be sucked, 1:33:24.040 --> 1:33:26.519 You're gonna get fucked, And whatever your proclivities are, whatever 1:33:26.560 --> 1:33:28.920 your weird shit is, it's not fucking weird to me. 1:33:29.000 --> 1:33:33.400 I'm down for whatever. You're completely fucking safe, And if 1:33:33.439 --> 1:33:35.240 you take care of me the way I need you to, 1:33:35.479 --> 1:33:37.200 you don't have to worry about anything else, like your 1:33:37.400 --> 1:33:41.599 your household, your everything is fucking safe. I want more 1:33:41.720 --> 1:33:51.000 men to feel safe marrying the whoors because they're gonna 1:33:51.080 --> 1:33:53.559 keep you good. You're gonna wake up to dick. 1:33:53.520 --> 1:33:56.680 Sucks, but not just marrying them, respecting the respecting. 1:33:56.280 --> 1:33:59.240 Them them, yes, respecting, loving. 1:33:59.000 --> 1:34:00.920 And making them feel a safe as they make you feel. 1:34:01.040 --> 1:34:03.679 Absolutely, because not only you're gonna get your dig sucked 1:34:03.680 --> 1:34:06.120 and your your fucking breakfast, and you're gonna get all 1:34:06.200 --> 1:34:08.440 the things that you want, don't. 1:34:08.280 --> 1:34:11.400 Because the non horrors are trembling in their fucking. 1:34:12.040 --> 1:34:17.639 Imagine you spent all these years, the ones that nors 1:34:17.680 --> 1:34:19.919 that have worked so hard to not be a whore anymore, 1:34:20.080 --> 1:34:22.599 are stressed right now, be a horror because at the end. 1:34:22.600 --> 1:34:25.920 Of the day, the man who gets you his balls 1:34:25.960 --> 1:34:29.439 are gonna be so fucking empty, like my man is 1:34:29.560 --> 1:34:32.479 never gonna have to wish he was gonna get some 1:34:32.600 --> 1:34:34.360 freak ship, like you're gonna get freak shit in the 1:34:34.400 --> 1:34:37.639 morning you wake up, I'm already on freak ship. You 1:34:37.680 --> 1:34:42.840 wake up like six am, I'm over your face. I'm 1:34:42.880 --> 1:34:47.479 already dripping on your face. Your mustache is full of nut, 1:34:47.560 --> 1:34:49.920 Like I'm already on you at six a m. You're 1:34:49.920 --> 1:34:53.559 asleep and I'm fucking you already, like I'm on you, bitch, 1:34:53.600 --> 1:34:57.000 like I love you so much, but I'm there's nothing 1:34:57.040 --> 1:34:59.639 you can't propose to me that I won't at least consider. 1:35:00.120 --> 1:35:02.280 There's nothing that's not gonna get done, so I can 1:35:02.479 --> 1:35:05.080 Martha Steward this shit. I'm gonna be in the garden. 1:35:05.120 --> 1:35:07.400 I love the garden. I love to cook, I love 1:35:07.439 --> 1:35:10.000 to clean. I love laundry. Like I I like doing 1:35:10.040 --> 1:35:13.360 household chores. It centers me just emotionally and just in 1:35:13.400 --> 1:35:17.920 my anxiety. I feel grounded by my household chores. But 1:35:18.160 --> 1:35:20.719 for fuck's sake, first thing in the morning, my man 1:35:20.800 --> 1:35:23.639 gets this pussy and he gets it in any way 1:35:23.680 --> 1:35:25.799 he wants, and he do whatever he wants to my body, 1:35:25.840 --> 1:35:29.000 Like that's my man. And like you want that bitch. 1:35:29.040 --> 1:35:30.960 You want a tea bag a bitch first thing in 1:35:31.000 --> 1:35:34.120 the morning. You wanta crawl on my face and tea 1:35:34.439 --> 1:35:38.160 exactly in my sleep. I wake up and I'm you 1:35:38.280 --> 1:35:43.200 want that. I don't know what, but patriarchy again hurts 1:35:43.280 --> 1:35:46.759 everybody because patriarchy says, marry the virgin. 1:35:47.240 --> 1:35:49.120 Marry you can't marry who you actually want to marry 1:35:49.120 --> 1:35:50.680 and who really makes your balls tingle. You want to 1:35:50.680 --> 1:35:52.120 marry the bitch next door even though she just make 1:35:52.120 --> 1:35:52.599 your balls tank. 1:35:52.600 --> 1:35:56.439 You're gonna ruin her life, Bronna when he finds out 1:35:56.439 --> 1:35:57.960 you want to do the I am my map. 1:35:58.000 --> 1:36:00.360 She's gonna fucking pass out when you find but she 1:36:00.400 --> 1:36:02.200 finds a porn category that you really like. 1:36:02.840 --> 1:36:05.400 You're with the fucking anime and the weird shit, the monster. 1:36:05.520 --> 1:36:08.280 She's gonna be the monster. 1:36:09.439 --> 1:36:12.559 With the roaches and the critters, like the weird ship, 1:36:12.680 --> 1:36:13.160 the family. 1:36:13.600 --> 1:36:16.519 The pus is kind of just start, just start at 1:36:16.520 --> 1:36:18.599 holl Just start, just start at. 1:36:18.520 --> 1:36:20.040 Hell, not go start at holl. 1:36:20.120 --> 1:36:23.479 Were you like knowing that my man can finish his job, 1:36:23.640 --> 1:36:26.640 he can come home and it's a naked bitch me 1:36:26.800 --> 1:36:31.559 in the kitchen. Dinner's ready, Pussy's ready. Like whatever you 1:36:31.600 --> 1:36:35.559 want to do, bitch, do it like we're you're good 1:36:35.760 --> 1:36:39.000 and you're safe and you don't have to you know, 1:36:39.040 --> 1:36:42.000 you're not gonna be shamed for what you want. You're 1:36:42.040 --> 1:36:44.640 not gonna be ridiculed, You're not gonna be made to 1:36:44.680 --> 1:36:47.720 feel less than You're gonna be a whole ass man 1:36:47.760 --> 1:36:50.720 in this house. And it's really nothing that you can 1:36:50.760 --> 1:36:53.000 say to me that I'm gonna laugh at. 1:36:52.880 --> 1:36:56.040 Or push to the side, or you're in an argument. 1:36:56.640 --> 1:36:58.320 No, like you was taking Piggy last night. 1:36:58.439 --> 1:37:02.280 Bitch, No, you're good. And me and Pinky we're good. 1:37:02.360 --> 1:37:03.200 We're gonna hold space. 1:37:03.520 --> 1:37:05.639 We're gonna hold space, me and Pinky. You're holding space 1:37:05.640 --> 1:37:07.599 for you. Me and my deal do a holding space 1:37:07.640 --> 1:37:09.080 for you, Like you're a good word, you know, And 1:37:09.120 --> 1:37:10.080 I think that that's important. 1:37:10.120 --> 1:37:13.920 It is which brings me to him telling me like 1:37:14.240 --> 1:37:16.719 he was telling me like fuck my wife, suck that dick, 1:37:16.880 --> 1:37:18.760 and it's like really pumping me up, like to be 1:37:18.760 --> 1:37:19.759 a slundy little wife. 1:37:19.760 --> 1:37:21.479 And I really I really enjoyed that. 1:37:21.920 --> 1:37:23.759 Yeah, see you love love. 1:37:24.080 --> 1:37:24.439 Amen. 1:37:24.760 --> 1:37:27.679 Amen, sle you'll get married. You'll find the ring. 1:37:28.600 --> 1:37:31.200 Cory, thank you for sharing our who I don't have 1:37:31.240 --> 1:37:33.439 any to share. I think we're out of town. 1:37:34.640 --> 1:37:36.000 Are I just want to I just want to say 1:37:36.120 --> 1:37:40.160 the chat was it? Really? They liked my details? Okay? 1:37:41.760 --> 1:37:44.400 Everyone that was Everyone that's listening enjoyed the story. 1:37:44.600 --> 1:37:46.640 Well, thank you guys for listening and giving me a 1:37:46.640 --> 1:37:50.519 safe space to talk about it. And just for you 1:37:50.560 --> 1:37:52.200 coming back on. You know how much I love you 1:37:52.240 --> 1:37:54.160 and how proud I am of you. And every time 1:37:54.200 --> 1:37:56.080 I see you on the internet one year to the next, 1:37:56.120 --> 1:37:57.800 maybe when you're missing, I'm always happy to see you. 1:37:57.800 --> 1:38:00.439 I'm always happy to see you here. You always welcome here. 1:38:01.000 --> 1:38:04.559 And yeah, I'm so grateful our journey's crossed. This is 1:38:04.600 --> 1:38:08.200 so important to my sixteen year old aspiring author self. 1:38:08.360 --> 1:38:09.400 This is like I made it. 1:38:09.560 --> 1:38:11.840 Yeah, same, And I know I don't have to tell 1:38:11.880 --> 1:38:13.280 you to keep going, but just keep going. 1:38:14.680 --> 1:38:17.400 I will do my best. It's hard. It's hard to 1:38:17.479 --> 1:38:17.920 keep going. 1:38:17.960 --> 1:38:20.120 And when you build your mansion and the catskills invite us, 1:38:20.120 --> 1:38:20.720 we'll be right there. 1:38:20.800 --> 1:38:22.280 Yeah, actually building my house right now. 1:38:22.320 --> 1:38:24.840 Perfect, We'll come through. I'll do a sound bath. You 1:38:24.880 --> 1:38:27.240 got to come to our house and we'll yeah. 1:38:27.360 --> 1:38:29.280 Yeah, you're the only person will drink white wine with 1:38:29.360 --> 1:38:30.080 at ten am. 1:38:30.479 --> 1:38:33.000 You know, that's what we do. I appreciate you. 1:38:33.360 --> 1:38:36.360 Thank you guys for joining us. You know here on 1:38:36.439 --> 1:38:38.720 Good Mom's Bad Choices. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure 1:38:38.720 --> 1:38:42.160 you subscribe to Patreon patreon dot com, backslash. 1:38:41.800 --> 1:38:42.919 Good Mom's Bad Choices. 1:38:43.320 --> 1:38:46.240 Make sure you check out our upcoming retreats at the 1:38:46.280 --> 1:38:49.320 Good Vibe re Treat Good Mom's Bad Choices Backslash Retreats, 1:38:49.840 --> 1:38:52.280 And you can find us on Instagram and on the 1:38:52.320 --> 1:38:53.479 tiktoks and all of this. 1:38:53.680 --> 1:38:55.160 Socials Are you back on social? 1:38:55.280 --> 1:38:55.320 Like? 1:38:55.360 --> 1:38:57.720 Where can our people find you? Where are you at? 1:38:58.080 --> 1:39:02.000 Okay? So I'm kind of back on social, but not really. 1:39:02.560 --> 1:39:06.240 It's the same as before. It's Elizabeth dot Ovison. I 1:39:06.360 --> 1:39:09.160 just I don't like socials and I don't like being 1:39:09.160 --> 1:39:12.360 a slave to an algorithm, and I'm really more comfortable 1:39:12.400 --> 1:39:13.080 living my life. 1:39:13.120 --> 1:39:14.679 Where can people find you? For coaching? 1:39:15.680 --> 1:39:18.479 You can't know? Okay, so I got your number? 1:39:18.520 --> 1:39:18.720 Big? 1:39:19.880 --> 1:39:23.600 You can't how many clients you don't really have? Like 1:39:23.640 --> 1:39:25.120 a three to five? 1:39:25.160 --> 1:39:25.920 I take three to five? 1:39:25.960 --> 1:39:28.400 And how long are your coaching? Is it like months? 1:39:28.479 --> 1:39:29.679 Is it it's every month? 1:39:29.840 --> 1:39:33.120 For we just go so's it's it's an hour, an 1:39:33.120 --> 1:39:36.280 hour to an hour and twenty minutes every single month forever. 1:39:36.800 --> 1:39:39.880 So I've had my girls now for several years, and 1:39:40.280 --> 1:39:42.600 that's it. Like it's just a very small group. I 1:39:42.640 --> 1:39:44.200 love that I'm different. 1:39:44.200 --> 1:39:44.439 I don't. 1:39:44.439 --> 1:39:46.120 I don't want to be available to everybody. 1:39:46.280 --> 1:39:46.599 Amen. 1:39:47.360 --> 1:39:49.880 I want to save my energy, and I. 1:39:49.800 --> 1:39:52.760 Resonate with a certain discriminative awareness. 1:39:52.960 --> 1:39:55.560 Yeah, I just stand. I just I'm not for everybody, 1:39:55.760 --> 1:39:59.599 and I understand that. So I'm just not as widely 1:39:59.640 --> 1:40:01.640 availab bull as people would want me to be. But 1:40:01.680 --> 1:40:05.280 that's because I don't fucking want to be where I want. 1:40:05.320 --> 1:40:08.200 So I don't want to be You're healthy, I'm healthy. 1:40:08.240 --> 1:40:09.960 Well, thank you for sharing your time, your thoughts, your 1:40:10.040 --> 1:40:11.960 energy here in the space. I appreciate your time. I 1:40:11.960 --> 1:40:16.080 appreciate your mind. Thank you, and I think the people 1:40:16.120 --> 1:40:18.959 here do as well. In our audience really really resonated 1:40:19.000 --> 1:40:21.200 with our last with our last episode together. So if 1:40:21.200 --> 1:40:23.240 you haven't listened to that episode, make sure you go 1:40:23.320 --> 1:40:25.200 check out the Woman who Slaps Back one. 1:40:26.040 --> 1:40:29.000 That was so good. You guys, you do two episodes 1:40:29.000 --> 1:40:29.519 this time. 1:40:30.040 --> 1:40:34.320 Enough, Yeah, that's going to be a two parter. So 1:40:34.400 --> 1:40:38.400 if you've gotten this far, congratulations, it's hard too. 1:40:40.920 --> 1:40:43.320 You know where to find us on all podcast platforms. 1:40:43.360 --> 1:40:45.439 Good Mom's Bad Choices, Like Mela said, join us at 1:40:45.439 --> 1:40:47.519 the Good Vibe Retreat. You can find me at watch 1:40:47.680 --> 1:40:51.080 Erica on Instagram or at watch Erica Nicole on TikTok. 1:40:51.680 --> 1:40:53.040 You can find Mela. 1:40:52.680 --> 1:40:54.880 At mela Underscore map. 1:40:55.120 --> 1:40:57.360 Make sure you follow our podcast studio here in La. 1:40:57.439 --> 1:40:58.720 If you have a podcast, you. 1:40:58.680 --> 1:41:00.880 Want it recorded, you want then you just want to 1:41:00.920 --> 1:41:03.479 sit down and talk and walk away. Make sure you 1:41:03.560 --> 1:41:06.280 check out good dot good Media on Instagram or good 1:41:06.320 --> 1:41:09.160 Good Productions dot com. 1:41:09.200 --> 1:41:13.960 Anyway, We'll see you next week. We love you, hey please? 1:41:14.640 --> 1:41:17.800 Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell? I went 1:41:17.880 --> 1:41:20.000 through a drought? That's until I find out well may 1:41:20.080 --> 1:41:22.080 might have been known earth. I used to be broken 1:41:22.200 --> 1:41:24.439 till now I got the blues ins and like Beyonce 1:41:24.640 --> 1:41:27.799 Jasell throat shot or popping his car wearing our voices 1:41:27.960 --> 1:41:30.360 Patriarch and catch it in the box to it's fois. 1:41:30.600 --> 1:41:33.200 Women put the pi and powers, So what's pointless? They 1:41:33.200 --> 1:41:35.679 want me to be good? So I made bad choices. 1:41:35.840 --> 1:41:38.320 Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom. 1:41:38.400 --> 1:41:41.280 Bitters in on put cannabis in their bath, bon walk 1:41:41.400 --> 1:41:44.280 in bossas cap and I blew his cat boss hot Dog. 1:41:44.360 --> 1:41:46.800 Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no 1:41:46.880 --> 1:41:49.400 waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent 1:41:49.400 --> 1:41:51.400 the lumber when to it is like a water Someone 1:41:51.439 --> 1:41:54.280 where you're renting winter resential will when the summertime. I 1:41:54.360 --> 1:41:56.320 do what doll They know when that needs a running 1:41:56.360 --> 1:41:56.519 by