Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 1: She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and
Speaker 1: the man of the house, and of course she didn't
Speaker 1: talk back. She was both obed hent and soft by nature.
Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choices.
Speaker 2: We're good mom's bad choices.
Speaker 3: Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all
Speaker 3: their bad choices and.
Speaker 2: Sound out they were so bad.
Speaker 3: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Speaker 2: Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Speaker 4: I can do it.
Speaker 5: Okay, Wait, let me go back to the question, because
Speaker 5: thank you good. I agree with everything.
Speaker 3: That you just said, absolutely absolutely, And it takes it
Speaker 3: takes a soap box to remind yourself like, oh yeah,
Speaker 3: this is that's not the real world.
Speaker 4: This is yeah, Like I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 4: world we're living in.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I live in a different world, you know, And.
Speaker 5: I think like the world first of all, because you
Speaker 5: wrote about a lot of the men that we're seeing
Speaker 5: now come to light, and I'm that'll be more.
Speaker 2: There's more. There's more, that's it's gonna come. It's gonna
Speaker 2: see it coming.
Speaker 5: Like some of these men you've had a lot of
Speaker 5: you had interactions with, you had experiences with, and do
Speaker 5: you think you have a different perspective of your experience
Speaker 5: during the time in which you experience these men versus now,
Speaker 5: where like you might have more clarity, more understanding, more language,
Speaker 5: like of the how unnormal certain situations were that you
Speaker 5: were made to feel were normal, or maybe that even
Speaker 5: the things you experienced in your childhood would have convinced
Speaker 5: you were normal. Yeah, versus now that you've gone through
Speaker 5: probably a lot more self discovery in continuing to be
Speaker 5: a writer and continuing to just live and exist in
Speaker 5: the world and just heal in general.
Speaker 4: Good question, because, first of all, think about this. I
Speaker 4: grew up with a mother who was abusive, so being
Speaker 4: beaten was normal to me. And I'm not just talking
Speaker 4: about spankings. I'm being I mean being beaten. I was
Speaker 4: kidnapped and raped at thirteen. I was kidnapped again at
Speaker 4: some point after that, so having men be in control
Speaker 4: of my body was also very normal to me from
Speaker 4: a very young age. I was taught very early, you
Speaker 4: have no you have no autonomy. We're gonna take you,
Speaker 4: We're gonna snatch you. Being raped at thirteen showed me
Speaker 4: that I there was no didn't matter, and that was
Speaker 4: a grown man who did that. So it's like I
Speaker 4: just I never belonged to me. So that when I
Speaker 4: became of age, I took my autonomy. I over I
Speaker 4: over overdid my autonomy because I wanted to prove that
Speaker 4: I was control of my body. How do you over write?
Speaker 4: I wanted to two things were happening simultaneously. I wanted
Speaker 4: to erase. And this is what happens too when you're I.
Speaker 4: I believe in through my therapy that when you have
Speaker 4: had bad sexual experiences, you want the next one to overwrite, overwrite,
Speaker 4: and override the one before. So I'm being raped. You
Speaker 4: want to a lot of times redo the experience and
Speaker 4: make it better so you can forget the original experience,
Speaker 4: but it's very rarely better because you still have the
Speaker 4: trauma of the first experience. You can't undo the trauma
Speaker 4: just by redoing the act. You can't redo the you know,
Speaker 4: you can't undo it. And so what became normal for
Speaker 4: me was physical abuse, and I took that autonomy to
Speaker 4: another level because I'm like, well, I'm the one that's choosing.
Speaker 4: These are choices. I'm making right, but I was making
Speaker 4: the choice based on the trauma. So it was a
Speaker 4: trauma informed choice, right, just not the same kind of
Speaker 4: choice as a healed in form choice. And so that's
Speaker 4: why the autonomy was over It was overkill on the autonomy.
Speaker 4: The proper kind of autonomy for me would have been
Speaker 4: to start to start therapy sooner and then make decisions
Speaker 4: based on the healing that was happening. But I didn't
Speaker 4: do that, as most people don't do that. So and
Speaker 4: looking back, so much of what I wrote about was
Speaker 4: just so regular to me, And even now as we're
Speaker 4: having these discussions, you can see it's no longer regular too.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my god, oh.
Speaker 5: My god, Like, do you think that that's maybe why
Speaker 5: there was also this shock for you? It's like Why's
Speaker 5: like why is everyone?
Speaker 4: This is just how it is? True? It's true, true,
Speaker 4: but not just the truth. It's the truth in this
Speaker 4: particular world, right, Like I'm not reporting from midwestern Oklahoma,
Speaker 4: right right, I'm reporting from Hollywood. Hollywood, bitch, what the
Speaker 4: fuck you think goes on here? And it's been going
Speaker 4: on since forever. So I was more shocked that people
Speaker 4: were shocked about Hollywood, Like this is what happens here.
Speaker 4: This is what's always happened here. The drugs have always
Speaker 4: been here. Who yeah, what did you think is going on?
Speaker 4: Like you know, so it's like one in one. In
Speaker 4: one second, you guys want to scream Illuminati, but in
Speaker 4: the next second, when I'd show you what's actually happening, like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, this is awful, Like what did you
Speaker 4: think was happening in this cesspool of a fucking town
Speaker 4: where since its invention, kids have been taking advantage of adults, women,
Speaker 4: men in your face.
Speaker 6: It wasn't very like hidden, it's so overt.
Speaker 4: So I'm shocked that you're fucking shocked, right, And I'm
Speaker 4: shocked that you're blaming me because I'm the young girl
Speaker 4: and all these men were so much older than I was,
Speaker 4: and no one even clocked that team right now, it
Speaker 4: said shit about that or if god, he's dead, bitch,
Speaker 4: Like people are dead, like they've gotten old and died
Speaker 4: and I'm still here, Like these people are older than
Speaker 4: I am. They're eight, nine, ten, sometimes fifteen, twenty years
Speaker 4: older than me, and that was never a factor, and
Speaker 4: no one was thinking about this, like wait, it was
Speaker 4: you were the monster.
Speaker 6: You were somehow right, the bad guy. You were the villain.
Speaker 4: I'm a twenty year old girl, single mom, just trying
Speaker 4: to make a buck and the man who and the
Speaker 4: men who were in control of the money are like, yeah,
Speaker 4: but you gotta do this first, right. I remember being
Speaker 4: homeless and men being like, well, if you want to
Speaker 4: sleep here, you gotta have sex with me. And at
Speaker 4: this point, I don't give a fuck because I got
Speaker 4: a baby in the car. It's the middle of winter,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, well, just take the pussy real quick.
Speaker 4: It's gonna take you five seconds. Bitch. I don't give
Speaker 4: a fuck, but me and this baby gotta sleep somewhere
Speaker 4: tonight because I have nowhere to live. I'm living in
Speaker 4: my car. Those men were in their forties and I
Speaker 4: was in my twenties, and we didn't have the life
Speaker 4: language we should have, honestly, because a sexual revolution of
Speaker 4: the nineteen sixties early seventies gave us a lot of.
Speaker 2: Language, gave white women language.
Speaker 4: Okay, I just watched this thing about that the other day,
Speaker 4: so I'm just recapping in my brain what I just saw.
Speaker 4: There's a there's a documentary about Miss magazine that I
Speaker 4: just watched the other day that spoke about the difference
Speaker 4: between white feminism and black feminism and how yeah, so, yes,
Speaker 4: I didn't grow up in a black or white society.
Speaker 4: I just didn't. So I didn't know that there was
Speaker 4: a difference. To be honest, did you grow up.
Speaker 2: On the you were in the islands, you were amongst black.
Speaker 4: People, think that black people think the islands are just black.
Speaker 4: The island was a Danish island, right, So it's not
Speaker 4: just full of black people. There's blacks, there's whites, there's
Speaker 4: there's East Indians. And no, my mother is not a
Speaker 4: black woman. It's not, no, my dad no, So yeah, no,
Speaker 4: it's it's a completely mixed family. It's and we didn't,
Speaker 4: we don't. It's not the same, guys, it's not the same, promise,
Speaker 4: it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not
Speaker 4: the same. It's so not the same. And there are
Speaker 4: a lot of things that I learned in America that
Speaker 4: I didn't learn there, And so there was not a
Speaker 4: separation of the racism when I was growing up. There's
Speaker 4: not a separation between white feminism and black feminism. It
Speaker 4: was just women like women ruled where I'm from, So
Speaker 4: like I didn't know there was a separation. My family
Speaker 4: is a mixed family from Puerto Rican and Danish. That's
Speaker 4: the mix of my family, and my dad's side was
Speaker 4: like French and Jamaican or something. So, but speaking about
Speaker 4: my mom's side, because that's where I grew up, it's
Speaker 4: like I didn't have that, you know, I mean, I
Speaker 4: have white grandparents, Like, it didn't I'd never I didn't
Speaker 4: know any of these things. We're not all the same,
Speaker 4: We're not a monolith, and depending on where we grow
Speaker 4: up in our communities, we see things very differently. So
Speaker 4: I did not understand that in America there was a
Speaker 4: difference because while America was going through certain things, my
Speaker 4: island was not going through that. Right, So while there
Speaker 4: was you know, like water hosing and things of that,
Speaker 4: that wasn't happening. So my grandmother couldn't pass that down
Speaker 4: to me because it didn't happen to her. She was
Speaker 4: married to a white man, and even though there was
Speaker 4: some tension between the families, it wasn't like an island
Speaker 4: wide thing, you know what I mean, Like I just
Speaker 4: didn't get that education because it never No one could
Speaker 4: pass that knowledge down to me because it hadn't happened
Speaker 4: to them. They weren't here. We were there, and so
Speaker 4: what happened here didn't happen everywhere, and it didn't happen there.
Speaker 4: And so even though that, that's not to say they
Speaker 4: weren't tensions, but it wasn't the same kind of thing.
Speaker 4: And coming from a mixed and blended racial family, I
Speaker 4: never knew that there was a difference. I just knew
Speaker 4: that in my family all the women were boss bitches
Speaker 4: and they ran the men around like I didn't know
Speaker 4: that white women had something a black women didn't have,
Speaker 4: because on my island, all the women had it. It's
Speaker 4: twenty seven miles, you know what I mean, that's all
Speaker 4: we had. And so I didn't know that. But I
Speaker 4: do see it differently. I see I now, looking back,
Speaker 4: I realized how much I didn't understand about this country. Honestly,
Speaker 4: because in other parts of the world where this book
Speaker 4: is sold, it doesn't It didn't get the same response.
Speaker 5: That's so interesting. I mean, I would imagine so, but
Speaker 5: that's so interesting to me. In Europe is not the
Speaker 5: same response about it the same way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, it's America. America has bigotry deeply routed
Speaker 4: in its DNA.
Speaker 3: It's interesting too because when the book came out, I
Speaker 3: was about to be a senior, and I, you know,
Speaker 3: it was very pivotal in my life, Like it stuck hard,
Speaker 3: Like it meant something to me because I related with
Speaker 3: to you. I understood, And I think it's interesting as
Speaker 3: like a sixteen or seventeen year old, like senior, I
Speaker 3: understood even at that age age the trauma you had
Speaker 3: experienced and how it was obviously related to your the
Speaker 3: decisions after and your zero fucks given, and like I
Speaker 3: understood that. But when I saw you get so much
Speaker 3: backlash from like you know, it was it was everywhere,
Speaker 3: like on TV, I think.
Speaker 2: For women it was extremely empowering.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 5: It was the men that encroached on that moment and
Speaker 5: made it this other thing. Whereas maybe in other countries,
Speaker 5: and I quote me if I'm wrong, like there's a
Speaker 5: more of an openness and like maybe not an openness,
Speaker 5: but there's the women still have a say in some capacity,
Speaker 5: even though patriarchy has bled its blood blood throughout the
Speaker 5: world and everywhere here is like because there's such an
Speaker 5: inception point here.
Speaker 6: But it was just.
Speaker 3: Odd to me, even as a child that people were
Speaker 3: misunderstanding the very clear message in the book. I was like,
Speaker 3: it's interesting that these are the things that people are
Speaker 3: talking about, that these are the people that are to write.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I remember thinking so odd because I so clearly.
Speaker 3: Understood the depth of the story and the thread of
Speaker 3: the decisions and who like it. Just it resonated with
Speaker 3: me and I understood it, and I thought it was
Speaker 3: odd that you were getting a lot of backlash and
Speaker 3: it was just like people were talking shit, and I
Speaker 3: just couldn't understand, like, well, did you read the book?
Speaker 4: Most people didn't. So here's what I found out and
Speaker 4: what I didn't realize before So Confessions came out. It
Speaker 4: was two thousand and five, and think about the internet
Speaker 4: at that time, Twitter was brand new. No Twitter came
Speaker 4: around two thousand and six. We didn't have Twitter, we
Speaker 4: had Facebook, and Facebook was brand new. I just realized
Speaker 4: a lot of people who read this book or yeah,
Speaker 4: who were very young. I'm hearing it now. Oh, I
Speaker 4: was in junior high. I was eleven, I was and
Speaker 4: so I remember So Confessions was embargoed, which means nobody
Speaker 4: got it until the day of So for months people
Speaker 4: were wondering what's in this book? What's in this book?
Speaker 4: And then people would make up things that they would
Speaker 4: say were excerpts that couldn't have been excerpts because if
Speaker 4: nobody had seen it, Barnes and Noble didn't even get
Speaker 4: it until the day of which I think was June
Speaker 4: sixth or something. Even Barnes and Noble couldn't get it.
Speaker 4: Nobody got it. Everything was drop shipped day off. Okay,
Speaker 4: that's what in Bargo's and Bargoed books are. I remember
Speaker 4: there was a list online of like hundreds of men
Speaker 4: that I'd slept with that I'm pretty sure now that
Speaker 4: I realized how young everyone was at the time. Who
Speaker 4: was like really into some kid probably made up on
Speaker 4: the internet. It was men who were dead. It was
Speaker 4: like Big Pun, It was like Puck Eve. And even
Speaker 4: to this day, I have had people who were asking me
Speaker 4: for interviews about how like what was going on in
Speaker 4: the nineties, like hip hop in the nineties, I was
Speaker 4: a child in the nineties because they had gotten this list.
Speaker 4: I had someone recently send an email that was doing
Speaker 4: a documentary on Ellen Iverson and they were like, we'd
Speaker 4: like to talk to you about your experience and your
Speaker 4: relationship with Alan Iverson. I was like, I have never
Speaker 4: met this man in my entire life. I realized that
Speaker 4: so much of what people thought was in the book
Speaker 4: was never in the book, and that what people thought
Speaker 4: I had done I had never done, which I thought
Speaker 4: I just and it just really honestly dawned on me
Speaker 4: just recently. I'm like, these were children playing on the internet.
Speaker 4: These were young people because older people weren't on socials
Speaker 4: back then, Like it wasn't like a thing. I'm like,
Speaker 4: these are young people making a list two hundred and
Speaker 4: something odd men, most of whom I had never met.
Speaker 4: And I have the most boring sex life. I know.
Speaker 4: I hate to say this, Like I know people think
Speaker 4: it's the most it's not. It's you, honestly, can I
Speaker 4: be honest. It's the same men. It's the same fucking that.
Speaker 4: I was laughing about this with one of them the
Speaker 4: other day. I was like, bro, I spind the block
Speaker 4: so much because I don't I never want new bodies.
Speaker 4: But everyone has this idea that I've had all this
Speaker 4: sex that I've never had, and I'm like, where did
Speaker 4: this come from? It was like Snoop Dog and like
Speaker 4: again Pac and like Pun Pun had been dead since
Speaker 4: I was like fifteen, Like it was all these people
Speaker 4: that I've never met. I've seen interviews of men old
Speaker 4: like old school rappers who nobody knows, claiming they slept
Speaker 4: with me, who I've never met, who have never met,
Speaker 4: and doing it for like clout and SEO and like
Speaker 4: clicks or whatever. Reass s el pussy yo, men, I've
Speaker 4: never met, bro that you show rappers from the nineties
Speaker 4: that I've never met, like I was. I was in
Speaker 4: high school in the nineties, like I was in Arizona. Bitch,
Speaker 4: fucking meet me men who have lied on their dicks
Speaker 4: on the internet, and everyone just buys it.
Speaker 5: Of course because it's fun, because it's fun to just
Speaker 5: make believe and just keep the story going.
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, it's been the same three people for like twenty years,
Speaker 4: like the same one, not twenty but like the same
Speaker 4: three to five. It's the same. I might I'm dick.
Speaker 4: I might venture out once in a while, but like
Speaker 4: literally it's the same.
Speaker 6: Crew, familiar, familiar Dick.
Speaker 4: It's just like the crew, just me and the crew
Speaker 4: and the girl, like you are all my bitches and
Speaker 4: like you're I'm what's up and they're all friends, and
Speaker 4: like everybody understands, like, Oh, it's your turn. It's your turn.
Speaker 5: It's your turn, bro, it's your turn.
Speaker 4: Because you can't trust new Dick because new Dick comes
Speaker 4: with like problems, guys, I can't trust new dicks. So like,
Speaker 4: whoever I was fucking twenty years ago might be the
Speaker 4: same person I'm fucking now, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: And anytime I try something you it's a problem. These
Speaker 4: men are. This is a problem. It's always a thing.
Speaker 4: So I stopped doing all that. But like, I don't
Speaker 4: know how we started this conversation.
Speaker 2: God, let me get back. I have a I have
Speaker 2: I have another question.
Speaker 5: I know this is getting a little bit long because
Speaker 5: I feel like our last episode was two parts because.
Speaker 3: Be sat here and talked for hours, because because it's
Speaker 3: fun and we have to catch up and I love
Speaker 3: I love hearing you speak.
Speaker 2: There's a question that I thought I was interested in
Speaker 2: knowing as well. It was who was it? Where is
Speaker 2: this question?
Speaker 6: Said?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yes, So have any of the people from your book
Speaker 5: ever apologized for how they showed up in your life?
Speaker 4: Oh that's a really good question, honestly, IRV. God he did.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, IRV god he did. I saw him at
Speaker 4: a club. It was a it was a it was
Speaker 4: a while ago, and I went to this club by myself.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck I was doing there.
Speaker 4: It's like some fucking random clo. I don't know what
Speaker 4: the fuck I was doing there. And I went to
Speaker 4: the bar and he was there by himself, and he
Speaker 4: was like, you're alone.
Speaker 2: I'm like yeah.
Speaker 4: He's like, you just came here alone. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you know. And he did apologize to me at the
Speaker 4: bar because and he was like, you know what I
Speaker 4: loved about the book. He said, it's because there are
Speaker 4: things you could have said that you didn't say. It
Speaker 4: was like, and I appreciated that because I knew a
Speaker 4: lot more than I said, and so he said I
Speaker 4: really appreciated that. And he was like, I'm just I'm
Speaker 4: just sorry for the way, well, you know, I reacted
Speaker 4: to like the fact that you were telling your story
Speaker 4: and yeah, and it was fine. And then he invited
Speaker 4: me back to the house that night, and I ghosted
Speaker 4: him but whatever, because I was like, you're not gonna.
Speaker 6: Set me up. I'll take that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I dipped out, but it was nice. It
Speaker 4: was nice of him to acknowledge and apologize.
Speaker 3: And be a man and be a man about it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's nice. And then the kind of overrides it by
Speaker 3: him inviting into.
Speaker 4: That kind of But then but then he went on
Speaker 4: and then he went on Drink Champs and told this
Speaker 4: lie so like not even like a couple a year
Speaker 4: or two after that, he went on Drink Drink Drink
Speaker 4: Champs and he was like, he does a story about
Speaker 4: how I took down like the whole crew of like
Speaker 4: worker bees or something like. I don't know what the
Speaker 4: story was specifically, but remember it just being such a lie.
Speaker 4: And I don't know what that was about. Anyone who
Speaker 4: knows me knows this because because first because I met
Speaker 4: jar rule first, and then I went to IRV because
Speaker 4: I go from like lieutenant to like whoever you're going
Speaker 4: in charge? Yeah exactly right, so like I'm not going
Speaker 4: to go to like the assistant after that. That's a
Speaker 4: crazy notion and everyone just ate that up, like oh,
Speaker 4: like and he talked about it as if there was
Speaker 4: a line outside the door and I took all these
Speaker 4: like crews wow, after apologizing, after apologizing to me, And
Speaker 4: maybe that's because I go. Yeah, I think it.
Speaker 6: Lets you know, it wasn't a genuine apology.
Speaker 4: It was exactly it was bush yeah, which is why
Speaker 4: I didn't go to the thing. Remember I'm telling that
Speaker 4: lie on drink Champs and me just thinking like and
Speaker 4: people will eat that up not knowing me. But I
Speaker 4: only fuck with bosses, and so there's no way in
Speaker 4: the world of fuck your assistant and like the key
Speaker 4: grip and like the sound man and like it's not
Speaker 4: my vibe, Like I'm a money girl, Like where's the
Speaker 4: money yet, Like I'm not gonna like this is insane.
Speaker 5: I think it's so crazy. Like to your quote that
Speaker 5: you shared earlier, Margaret, I can't remember her last name,
Speaker 5: but would at Wood. Yes, I should know that because
Speaker 5: I watched every season of The Handmaid's Tale and I
Speaker 5: was very upset by how it ended. Yeah, I was
Speaker 5: gonna go back and revisit it, but not anymore.
Speaker 2: Bitch, it's good.
Speaker 6: It's dark.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 6: That's why empty of the path, I get too deep.
Speaker 5: Anyway, Yes, we should watch it, but just know the
Speaker 5: ending is not what it's just not going to satisfy it.
Speaker 5: But the quote of men are men are worried that
Speaker 5: men are women are going to laugh at them? And
Speaker 5: what happens when a woman does laugh at them? Yes,
Speaker 5: and their reactions even silently, even when no one knows,
Speaker 5: because he probably looked at him inviting you and you
Speaker 5: saying no, thank you.
Speaker 4: I didn't even say no thank you. I was like yes,
Speaker 4: And then I got in my car, and then he
Speaker 4: was texting me like I'm at the corner, blah blah blah,
Speaker 4: I'm I'm on my way and I was going to
Speaker 4: the opposite direction and his laugh so he got the
Speaker 4: drink chance and it was like and then she took
Speaker 4: down twenty of my I'm like, bro, what are you
Speaker 4: talking about.
Speaker 5: Often that the that echo of what happens after they
Speaker 5: that they feel like they've been laughed at is where
Speaker 5: the lies and where the deterioration of our of our
Speaker 5: said reputation goes. Where men start to just talk out
Speaker 5: of their ass and just literally makeup shit and people
Speaker 5: can't believe that it.
Speaker 2: Would be a lie. Yeah, I just I can't believe
Speaker 2: that it would be a lie.
Speaker 4: That's just so crazy. But that goes back to the
Speaker 4: admiration of certain kinds of people that I feel you
Speaker 4: should not admire because like these people haven't done half
Speaker 4: the ship that like like scientists have done or like
Speaker 4: something important, but just at the adverse. So he's a
Speaker 4: producer who's to be a DJ, and you're gonna take
Speaker 4: his fucking word. And so it's like, no matter what
Speaker 4: I do, I will always be in some people's eyes
Speaker 4: this person because a man said up was that person.
Speaker 4: When it goes back to the list of two hundred
Speaker 4: men that I never even fucking met, most of them
Speaker 4: to whatever the fuck IRV God he said on drink
Speaker 4: Champs was a fucking out and out lie because why
Speaker 4: would I go from the boss to the boss's helper.
Speaker 4: That's nuts. If you've seen fucking scarface, you know what.
Speaker 4: That's fucking nuts.
Speaker 6: Like it's just not logical.
Speaker 4: Bosses only bitch. I've been that bitch forever. Bro Like,
Speaker 4: there's no way in the world, fucking your assistant you're
Speaker 4: gonna bring me coffe, I'm gonna give you pussy, Like
Speaker 4: what are you talking about? And so like the fact.
Speaker 4: But it's like if the man says it, then it
Speaker 4: becomes fact. If the woman says it, then it's questionable.
Speaker 4: Every single fucking time. And the men that you're admiring
Speaker 4: are trash, bro Like, they're such trash in their personal lives.
Speaker 4: They don't take care of their children, they cheat on
Speaker 4: their fucking wives, they never fucking go home home. They're
Speaker 4: drug addicts, like fuck, they're alcoholics, like fucking crazy, Like
Speaker 4: these men need these many therapy, baddest fuck and these
Speaker 4: are your idols. And there's another saying that goes, I
Speaker 4: don't care about your booze because I see who you
Speaker 4: cheer for. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, bitch,
Speaker 4: because I see who you like. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4: I don't like you're not Yeah, exactly, like, look at
Speaker 4: the people you uphold. I don't give a fuck if
Speaker 4: you don't like me.
Speaker 6: Look at them good, that's actually a good indication.
Speaker 4: Look at the gum you revere. You think I give
Speaker 4: a fuck whether you like me or not. You're revering
Speaker 4: chama lesters, you're revering rapists, you're revering drug addicts, you're
Speaker 4: revering fucking cokes like, you're revering weirdos. Bro Like, I
Speaker 4: don't give a fuck if you don't like me. Look
Speaker 4: at the people you fucking lust after. These people are
Speaker 4: not good people, bro, So who gives a fuck if
Speaker 4: you like me or not? I don't You're not You're
Speaker 4: not my type of fucking person. We're not the fucking same.
Speaker 2: How has that been?
Speaker 6: You know? Like this is its been twenty years, you're
Speaker 6: obviously comee from like twenty six. You're still like a baby.
Speaker 3: In ways until this point and you've got the opportunity
Speaker 3: for people to hear your story, but they've also see
Speaker 3: your evolution. Has it been difficult like for other people
Speaker 3: to under like people thinking they can talk like about
Speaker 3: you even after you're apologizing, like to take you in
Speaker 3: this version of yourself.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I'm gonna say this. I know for a
Speaker 4: fact as a grown woman now just a few years
Speaker 4: from fifty, what I know for a fact is that
Speaker 4: most people have a really hard time evolving in their
Speaker 4: own lives. Most people are stuck. Most of your listeners
Speaker 4: and watchers are stuck. They're in the same place, doing
Speaker 4: the same thing with the same people, and they don't
Speaker 4: want to be there, and they don't know how or
Speaker 4: afraid to shift. I under that's human nature. It's just
Speaker 4: the human experience. It's easy to get stuck. People like
Speaker 4: me don't get stuck. This is what makes us special,
Speaker 4: This is what makes me different, is that every six
Speaker 4: months I'm moving, I'm doing something different, I'm onto something
Speaker 4: or somebody or some I'm always moving. I think that
Speaker 4: it's difficult for those people, for most people to imagine
Speaker 4: my growth, because they have a hard time growing, excelling,
Speaker 4: and moving forward. Again, it's human nature. It's so easy
Speaker 4: to get stuck. It's so easy to get stuck in
Speaker 4: a relationship that you fucking hate, with a man you
Speaker 4: can't stand. It's so easy to get bogged down with
Speaker 4: the kids. It's so easy to get bogged down in
Speaker 4: your job. It's so easy to do what your parents
Speaker 4: tell you to do, even though that's not what you
Speaker 4: really want to do. There are so many instances where
Speaker 4: it's so easy to get stuck in a version of
Speaker 4: yourself that you don't really want to be in, and
Speaker 4: then not know how to change and shift and move forward.
Speaker 4: Most people are there. I've never been that person, and
Speaker 4: that scares people. It excites people, and it ignites curiosity
Speaker 4: in people, but also it makes people angry. I will shift.
Speaker 4: I will move any chance I get from man to man,
Speaker 4: from place to place, from state to state. It doesn't
Speaker 4: matter to me. I am living my life as freely
Speaker 4: as any man because men are allowed to do a
Speaker 4: lot of shit they don't let women do. But I
Speaker 4: do all the shit men do. I'm gonna bring you
Speaker 4: one step closer. I am living my life as freely
Speaker 4: as any mediocre white man because mediocre white men aren't
Speaker 4: even qualified for shit the ship that they fucking do.
Speaker 4: I'm doing shit I ain't fucking qualified for. I don't
Speaker 4: give up. But because I'm gonna live my life just
Speaker 4: as freely, openly and unqualified as any mediocre fucking white
Speaker 4: man on his planet, I don't give a fuck, and
Speaker 4: you can't stop me. You can't slow me down nothing.
Speaker 4: So whatever people think, I realize this, that thought process
Speaker 4: is not about me, Bro, That's about them and their
Speaker 4: struggle to shift and move and live freely. I live free.
Speaker 4: I have no burdens, I have no issues. I have
Speaker 4: no fucking problems. Nothing's a problem to me. If something
Speaker 4: is a problem to me, I leave it. I just
Speaker 4: fucking shuck and jive. I just know I'm out, Nigga,
Speaker 4: like Houdini, Like I'm out. You want to see me
Speaker 4: no more, bro, I will post it here, husbands, baby daddies.
Speaker 4: Fucking what. I will leave the situation so fast now
Speaker 4: talk to you. It's as if I've never fucking been there.
Speaker 4: So whatever issues people have about me, I know it's
Speaker 4: not about me. I know it's about them, and I must.
Speaker 2: Feel very free. It feels like freedom.
Speaker 4: Yes, of course, freedom is the game, Like that's what
Speaker 4: you want. You want to be free?
Speaker 5: Because I think people might have a m might assume
Speaker 5: the opposite, because so many people have opinions about you.
Speaker 4: Oh, like y'all don't give a fuck we broke people
Speaker 4: in Iowa care about me? Like I don't have an
Speaker 4: opinion about really nothing or anybody because it doesn't matter
Speaker 4: to me. I'm so self centered. I am the center
Speaker 4: of my life. I am the center of everything. I'm
Speaker 4: in the center of my family. I'm the center. If
Speaker 4: I break down, everybody else breaks down. I am it.
Speaker 4: I am she, I am her, so like I don't
Speaker 4: give a fuck about fucking Julie and Iowa. I don't
Speaker 4: give a fuck about this bitch, Like I don't give
Speaker 4: a fuck what this bitch gotta say about me. Who
Speaker 4: the fuck is this bitch? Like do you know how
Speaker 4: much my bills are like, I am focused people like
Speaker 4: what keeps you motivated? My bills?
Speaker 6: Bitch?
Speaker 4: Do you know how expensive LA is? Yeah? I don't
Speaker 4: live in LA and New York? Do you know how
Speaker 4: expensive this shit is?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 4: This shit is not a game. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4: And that's important to know too, is that what I
Speaker 4: eat don't make you shit and vice versa. I come
Speaker 4: from a fucking era where we understood that, Okay, the
Speaker 4: dicks I fuck don't make you nut. Why are you
Speaker 4: so Why are you so into the dicks like lee, Like,
Speaker 4: focus on your plate, bitch, eat your food, what's on
Speaker 4: your plate? Because chances are we don't make the same money.
Speaker 4: We're not in the tax in the same tax bracket.
Speaker 4: We're not fucking the same kind of niggas. Chances are
Speaker 4: you're doing way worse than me. Get off my dick, bitch,
Speaker 4: and go do something that's gonna make your life better.
Speaker 4: It's important to tend to your own garden. It's important
Speaker 4: to really focus in on your life. Stop worrying about
Speaker 4: what I'm doing with the next bitch doing with this
Speaker 4: who gives off? Fuck? I don't know what any of
Speaker 4: these holes are. I don't know what anybody's doing. I
Speaker 4: only know what I'm doing because if I take my
Speaker 4: eyes off the prize, my whole family falls. I cannot
Speaker 4: afford to invest in anybody else's life well being. I
Speaker 4: sure as fuck cannot be in anybody else's pussy but
Speaker 4: my own. I don't care who you fuck. I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck about nobody, and anybody who
Speaker 4: cares so much about other people's lives to me, I
Speaker 4: always ask them this, while you're caring so much about
Speaker 4: other people, who's caring about you? Who's really looking out
Speaker 4: and caring? No, Because here's the deal. You said it earlier.
Speaker 4: Nobody's coming to save you. Who the fuck wakes up
Speaker 4: in the morning and is like, I wonder how Jamila
Speaker 4: is doing. It's gonna be you, it's gonna be Erica,
Speaker 4: it's gonna be your man, might be your mamam, be
Speaker 4: your daddy, whatever. But the rest of the world doesn't
Speaker 4: wake up. All these people here love you, guys, but
Speaker 4: you don't wake up and think, I hope Jamiala is okay?
Speaker 6: Did she eat today?
Speaker 4: Does she need money? Is she okay? Should I send
Speaker 4: her something? Like? Nobody because we all have our own ship. No,
Speaker 4: one's thinking, no one's coming to save you, No one's
Speaker 4: thinking about you, and no one's coming to rescue you.
Speaker 4: So you need to be able to self rescue.
Speaker 6: Self rescue, come back to the rescue.
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 2: What's the affirmation of the day. Yeah, we usually ask
Speaker 2: our guests to share an affirmation. Do you have one?
Speaker 2: Is it that.
Speaker 4: I have so many affirmations that I really like. I
Speaker 4: don't know which one I think I gave one last time.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think of something. I have like twenty
Speaker 4: seven of them that I teach my coaching clients, and
Speaker 4: we have them and we go through it all. I think.
Speaker 4: I think for me, it's a very simple one and
Speaker 4: it helps me every day in making my decisions. And
Speaker 4: it's it's three words, and then what.
Speaker 6: Then what was this? I think this might have been
Speaker 6: the same.
Speaker 4: I'll give you another one. No person, no problem, no person,
Speaker 4: no problem. So a lot of times we have problems,
Speaker 4: we think we have problems. We don't have problems. We
Speaker 4: have people. And when you delete the people, you delete
Speaker 4: the problems, like do you have a problem disappear like.
Speaker 6: Do you have a problem problem?
Speaker 4: Do you have a problem, or do you have a
Speaker 4: baby daddy. Do you have a problem.
Speaker 6: We cut the baby daddy.
Speaker 8: They don't want to be Do you have a problem.
Speaker 3: That might be that.
Speaker 4: Personal problem, because here's the deal, Like men want to
Speaker 4: fuck you, but they don't want to be fathers. You
Speaker 4: make them fathers and they don't want to be. A
Speaker 4: man will say he wants to be a dad, but
Speaker 4: he really don't want to be. Most men don't want
Speaker 4: to be married and they don't want to have children.
Speaker 3: It's interesting someone actually asks a question. So now that
Speaker 3: you said that, okay, yeah, this advice question, this is
Speaker 3: actually on.
Speaker 4: Also, some of these men are bisexual and they really
Speaker 4: want men and they don't really want you. Okay, And
Speaker 4: I've learned that firsthand. Some of these men really want
Speaker 4: dick and they really don't want you to say.
Speaker 2: That really quickly. So this is an advice question Tribe
Speaker 2: at Patreon.
Speaker 5: If you haven't subscribed to Patreon, are already by now
Speaker 5: listening to this episode, I want to go ahead and
Speaker 5: encourage you one more time. Go to patreon dot com,
Speaker 5: backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, get in.
Speaker 2: On these live experiences.
Speaker 5: Come get our episodes early and get some bonus content while.
Speaker 6: You're adding it contribute to the conversation.
Speaker 3: These questions have been phenomenal, so I'm appreciatives. This question
Speaker 3: comes from a thirty one year old female. I was
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend for five years. He broke up with
Speaker 3: me because I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy. What advice would
Speaker 3: you give me. I'm currently two mens pregnant and would
Speaker 3: like to self rescue and be happy.
Speaker 4: I think that if women want children, we're better off
Speaker 4: having children at sperm banks because okay, hold on, hold on, no, listen.
Speaker 4: Out here in LA we have California Cryo Bank. I
Speaker 4: know this because I because.
Speaker 6: I know this.
Speaker 4: You can pick out your baby. You can see the
Speaker 4: baby picture of the man who donated. You can see
Speaker 4: what his degrees are, you can go through all the stats.
Speaker 4: You're laughing, bitch, but listen. Some of you want babies,
Speaker 4: and what you don't want is the men. You don't
Speaker 4: want what comes with the babies.
Speaker 5: Well, I think that they do. It's just the men
Speaker 5: rising to the occasion.
Speaker 6: You know what.
Speaker 2: I think?
Speaker 6: What I really love it all time alone.
Speaker 4: They're never going to rise to the fucking occasion.
Speaker 2: So automatically I didn't want a baby.
Speaker 5: I had a man and we made a baby and
Speaker 5: I and I.
Speaker 4: Want you also backward. Listen to me. Stop wanting men.
Speaker 2: I was twenty seven.
Speaker 4: They're never going to rise to the okay, so let
Speaker 4: me just let's just go through this right now. The
Speaker 4: men are not the prize. It's not what you want.
Speaker 4: Relationships should not be the goal. They should be the
Speaker 4: byproducts of your goals. So for instance, you don't want
Speaker 4: a man. You want to go to Paris and you
Speaker 4: want to learn about art and get into.
Speaker 5: Culture, and you get if it's on Falcony culture art,
Speaker 5: sick Frenchman.
Speaker 4: And you just happen to run into somebody seeking it.
Speaker 3: It's coming to you when you're ready. You're not out
Speaker 3: on the prid. Oftentimes, when you look deeply and you're
Speaker 3: looking for stuf.
Speaker 6: You're not going to find it.
Speaker 3: It's when you're at ease, that's when you're feminine, at
Speaker 3: your softness, that you're going to invite in what you need.
Speaker 2: And I.
Speaker 4: So they're not the goal. They are the byproduct of
Speaker 4: the goal. Got it too. Some women are getting into
Speaker 4: relationships just because they want children. Some women are very
Speaker 4: much so I've seen that a lot, and they're forcing
Speaker 4: themselves into relationships that they really shouldn't be, especially women,
Speaker 4: especially women over thirty five going into their forties, or
Speaker 4: they're forcing themselves into relationships because they want to have children.
Speaker 4: If that's the case, bypass the relationship. Go to your
Speaker 4: local cryobank, pick out your sperm, Spend five hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: Go to your gynocologist. He'll put it in for you. Boom,
Speaker 4: you're pregnant. No fucking you don't have to deal with
Speaker 4: the bullshit.
Speaker 2: They want babies, but they also want You're not gonna
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 4: You're not gonna get it home. You're not gonna get it.
Speaker 4: You're not gonna get it. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Speaker 4: How what's the divorce rate?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 4: How many women are you seeing on Instagram crying their
Speaker 4: eyes out about the ruins of their marriage and it's
Speaker 4: not girlies, curlies. How many statistics do you need before
Speaker 4: you realize the system is broken. You're not going to
Speaker 4: beat the system. You're not going to be the only
Speaker 4: person whose marriage works out. It's not nineteen forty seven. Like,
Speaker 4: the men have too many options, and a lot of
Speaker 4: them want men. We are laughing, also, we are serious.
Speaker 4: A lot of the men want men I know because
Speaker 4: I've dated them. They love Dick. I know because I've
Speaker 4: given it to them. She's a strap on. Her name
Speaker 4: is Pinky. I've had it for a while. I'm telling
Speaker 4: you right now, these men love Dick. I'm not making
Speaker 4: this up. Have your children because you're gonna end up
Speaker 4: alone anyway.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's a bet?
Speaker 6: Don't fuck the relationship bypass the drama?
Speaker 4: PA, If you want children, if yet to decide what
Speaker 4: was Wilson important to you? If children is most important
Speaker 4: to you, because you're running out of time biologically, right,
Speaker 4: don't worry about the man. Don't force yourself into a
Speaker 4: relationship because you want to find old them later. Right.
Speaker 4: Once you have your baby that you've chosen, right, then
Speaker 4: you find your man later.
Speaker 3: And you're actually more equipped to find your man later
Speaker 3: in life because you're more equipped, you've done more healing,
Speaker 3: you're not as stupid, you're just like you're less able
Speaker 3: to put up with some bullshit. I do feel like
Speaker 3: there's no way the twenty seven year old me had
Speaker 3: the tools.
Speaker 5: Well, you know what, it makes me think about how
Speaker 5: motherhood is such an initiation and it's not an initiation
Speaker 5: because there's the men are involved. It's an initiation because
Speaker 5: you have this experience between you and your body and
Speaker 5: this child and then you enter into this space. So like, yes,
Speaker 5: it's nice to have the support of the masculine of Absolutely,
Speaker 5: I don't believe that, like kids don't need their fathers.
Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: I'm just saying that there is an initiation that women
Speaker 5: go through singularly as women when we give birth, and
Speaker 5: that sometimes that's what you're seeking, and that's what you
Speaker 5: need in order to then go find your man right
Speaker 5: and then sometimes it doesn't have to happen like Ryan
Speaker 5: partnership that way. I just need to go through this initiation,
Speaker 5: have this child, this experience, and then andy and then.
Speaker 3: Imagine the mental preparation you've already had, like I'm gonna
Speaker 3: get pregnant alone, I'm gonna get Essentially, that's what's because
Speaker 3: you're doing it anyway, because you do it with this
Speaker 3: illusion with the guy.
Speaker 4: I stop being delusion all Delulu was not the answer.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you live the programming because you're supposed
Speaker 3: to do that. Even though I when I got pregnant,
Speaker 3: I called my home girl, I said this nigga bitch
Speaker 3: and I'm pregnant.
Speaker 6: She said, he's still think that's the truth.
Speaker 2: He thinks of your bitch, thinks.
Speaker 6: To your slat and he thinks your bitch, and it's
Speaker 6: not going to change. You have a baby, and I said,
Speaker 6: bet you're right.
Speaker 3: And then I proceeded to have a baby with the
Speaker 3: nigga who called me a slatiner bitch. And guess what
Speaker 3: he did probably still call me a Slatin bitch after
Speaker 3: and he touched me in my face, and there was
Speaker 3: a lot of trauma that had to be healed from
Speaker 3: it in order to leave.
Speaker 4: Because I need to imagine if you had just gone
Speaker 4: to the sprum bank.
Speaker 3: I wasn't mentally prepared to be a sing I'd rather
Speaker 3: be a try. I tried so hard to get punched
Speaker 3: in my face and then be a single mom when
Speaker 3: I could have just not got punched in my face
Speaker 3: and I could.
Speaker 6: Have just said, this is this is what you're this
Speaker 6: is what we're doing.
Speaker 3: I mean, I probably would have never happened because programming.
Speaker 3: But I was not going to cryobank if I didn't
Speaker 3: get pregnant.
Speaker 2: But that is listen, I see both sides.
Speaker 5: I see I e both sides, but I also understand
Speaker 5: like the women that women that want to have the
Speaker 5: baby right now, go have the baby, go plant go
Speaker 5: like she said, go to the cryobank, Go to the cryobank.
Speaker 2: I saw some ads on Instagram, kind body or some shit.
Speaker 2: I don't fucking know.
Speaker 5: You're probably getting you too, You're getting I keep getting
Speaker 5: fed for they're spending millions of dollars because everyone says, kind.
Speaker 6: I must know how old people are. Oh my god,
Speaker 6: they can probably be.
Speaker 2: Like literally trying.
Speaker 3: It's not that I am forty four and like really
Speaker 3: get bitches who are like, fuck, I gotta have a baby.
Speaker 5: But it might be you just need your your spirit
Speaker 5: is and your body is asking you to go through
Speaker 5: this initiation. So honor it and then figure out the
Speaker 5: other part later because you can. We're proof that you can.
Speaker 4: Just know.
Speaker 6: It's not easy.
Speaker 5: It's not it's not going to be great. And when
Speaker 5: you do it, you're going to maybe sometimes wish you
Speaker 5: had a man.
Speaker 4: Guys, no you're not home.
Speaker 6: You might you might to take the baby, take this.
Speaker 6: Take babies.
Speaker 4: Do men take babies brong?
Speaker 2: Sometimes yes they do, and they.
Speaker 4: Can plain and they call you for every thing and
Speaker 4: got that break.
Speaker 5: Yes, at least you got the bitch least don't listen
Speaker 5: to Eric listeners in Vegas right now with her dad,
Speaker 5: and I'm so happy about it than your women together.
Speaker 5: Just a personal assistant, baby daddy. I'm okay with that
Speaker 5: because I got a break. If I had a cryo baby,
Speaker 5: I'd have no one to take this goddamn baby.
Speaker 4: You have girlfriends, you have family and a tribe.
Speaker 2: That's the The whole other thing is that you don't.
Speaker 6: Have a try your tribe.
Speaker 4: Don't have a cryo baby.
Speaker 6: Tribe that's important.
Speaker 3: Don't have a cryo baby unless you have a tribe
Speaker 3: that and they need to maybe sign contracts.
Speaker 6: They need Maybe.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, there's time, just like there's steps.
Speaker 4: Hold on, you should ask you guys are doing too
Speaker 4: much because also there are women. Okay, let's go back
Speaker 4: a little bit. Black women are the most agreed in
Speaker 4: the country. Okay, black women the highest educated group in
Speaker 4: this country. Yes, black women are out earning black men.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 4: Okay, black women can afford childcare, we can afford nannies,
Speaker 4: we can afford help, We can do this. We also
Speaker 4: have family and friends. You don't need a man to
Speaker 4: have your baby. Would be nice to have a man
Speaker 4: who can do things. Yes, but overwhelmingly we are seeing
Speaker 4: that men do not want to be fathers. They're not
Speaker 4: planning these babies with you. You're planning them with your
Speaker 4: fucking self the minute. And even the ones who think
Speaker 4: who purport to be planning the minute you pop up pregnant,
Speaker 4: they're like, we can't do this, Okay. It is important
Speaker 4: to understand our biological need is different than theirs. They
Speaker 4: can have children into their nineties, it doesn't matter for them.
Speaker 4: We only have a short amount of time. So if
Speaker 4: you want to have children, have your baby, and sometimes
Speaker 4: you just gotta get into a quick situation, get your baby,
Speaker 4: be out, like, just be the fuck out. I think
Speaker 4: where you give yourself toil in trouble is where you
Speaker 4: are trying to make men who don't want to be
Speaker 4: fathers to your baby participate in the raising and financial
Speaker 4: responsibility of your baby. I think it is important to
Speaker 4: understand and to when someone asked earlier about how I've
Speaker 4: taken care of myself, I never put my first son's father.
Speaker 4: There was no court, there was no child so any kids,
Speaker 4: I'm never gonna go to court. There will never be
Speaker 4: child support. I will never Cha'll never fucking contact you.
Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck about you. You are, as
Speaker 4: my father would say, the bag I brought the groceries
Speaker 4: home in Okay, the groceries are for me. You're the bag.
Speaker 4: You're the one that had to make this come to
Speaker 4: fruition for me. This is for women who aren't in loving,
Speaker 4: caring relationships. This is for the women who want babies
Speaker 4: before they can't have babies anymore, or before they get
Speaker 4: to a certain age.
Speaker 2: This is this is not her, though she's pregnant right now.
Speaker 6: But she says she doesn't anything to do with it,
Speaker 6: and I don't force it.
Speaker 4: Don't don't force it.
Speaker 3: If this is your choice, and you and he told
Speaker 3: you he don't want a baby, and continuing.
Speaker 4: But if you want the baby, leave him the fuck alone.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let him be. Don't force anyone to do anything.
Speaker 4: Yes, leave him the funck alone. It's okay to raise
Speaker 4: a baby by yourself.
Speaker 2: Then, so then are you saying if that's if that's
Speaker 2: what you want to do, you don't want to don't
Speaker 2: try to get child support. Don't try to.
Speaker 4: I personally am not a child support girly. I but
Speaker 4: I make enough money to not do so, and I
Speaker 4: don't force babies on people if I'm not going to
Speaker 4: take care of them by myself. So sometimes again, some
Speaker 4: men are just the groceries you. So some men are
Speaker 4: just the bag you bring the groceries home in. They're
Speaker 4: just the conduit, right if this person wants a baby, I.
Speaker 5: Mean, my question is they've been together for five years?
Speaker 5: Have they not had this conversation before?
Speaker 4: Ye? Have you guys had a woman's together? Is that
Speaker 4: a man's together? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I'm curious about what the together like?
Speaker 4: Right? Because okay, guys, girl, I wish I could just
Speaker 4: shake all of you. If you ask a woman if
Speaker 4: she's in a relationship, she'll say yes. Sometimes you ask
Speaker 4: that man, he'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, nah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: So like, her together may not be his together.
Speaker 6: Would you call that delusion?
Speaker 4: No, because men will trick you into thinking that you're
Speaker 4: in a relationship, but he is someplace else entirely. He
Speaker 4: might have two or three different relationships happening that are separate.
Speaker 4: So like, at the end of the day, if he's
Speaker 4: not with it, it's her decision on whether her body,
Speaker 4: her choice, whatever she wants to do. She's doing what
Speaker 4: she wants to do. But I'm not for I'm not
Speaker 4: a child support girly. I'm just not. I don't have
Speaker 4: the energy. I don't give a fuck about it. I
Speaker 4: make enough money. And if you can't support your child yourself,
Speaker 4: then don't have your fucking child. Because what I'm not
Speaker 4: gonna do is be in court every two weeks trying
Speaker 4: to take some scumbag dirt nigga down for three hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: That's the fuck. I'm not gonna like them. Let me
Speaker 4: tell you, I don't give it's my bague.
Speaker 2: It's funny. That's just right now.
Speaker 5: Because I saw someone else, a girl that I know
Speaker 5: she'd made a reel yesterday or so two days ago
Speaker 5: about like never put my baby daddy on child support,
Speaker 5: like all the ways, like all the assumptions you might
Speaker 5: have about her life. And I wrote in my I
Speaker 5: wrote it down in my phone because that actually annoyed me,
Speaker 5: because I took a really long time to put my
Speaker 5: baby daddy on child support. And now I'm like, I
Speaker 5: wish I would have done it sooner. I wish I
Speaker 5: would have held this, held him accountable sooner. And because
Speaker 5: I didn't, I got into the relationship thinking that we
Speaker 5: were doing this together. So I think a lot of
Speaker 5: people are not necessarily think can I raise this child alone?
Speaker 5: Like no, because I'm not entering into this partnership thinking
Speaker 5: that I'm raising this child alone. I thought we were
Speaker 5: getting married, I thought we were planning a life together.
Speaker 5: I was not necessarily financially prepared to have the baby
Speaker 5: because you told me, don't worry, I got it. I'm
Speaker 5: going to take care of us. And now I'm in
Speaker 5: this situation where I'm like, fuck, you know. So when
Speaker 5: I when I saw that, I was like, I don't
Speaker 5: think I think that you have to move according like
Speaker 5: and you said, like, this is just my this is
Speaker 5: my testimony. I think you have to move according to
Speaker 5: whatever the agreement is that you had with that person.
Speaker 5: If that person said we're doing this together, put that
Speaker 5: nigga on child support because you said we're doing this together.
Speaker 5: And now I've had this baby, and now I'm not
Speaker 5: going to be the sole person responsible. Yes, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: be I'm gonna rise to the occasion. And I think
Speaker 5: that's what and what a lot of single moms realize
Speaker 5: they have to do. And that's why we have this
Speaker 5: platform where we've had to empower ourselves and empower women
Speaker 5: to take responsibility and say fuck it, I don't need you.
Speaker 2: I'm going to figure it out.
Speaker 5: But in the interim of me fucking figuring this shit out,
Speaker 5: put that nigga on child's you bridge the contract.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you can't afford and if you can
Speaker 3: afford the child without this person, I mean whatever, Like
Speaker 3: whether you could or couldn't and you had entered into
Speaker 3: this agreement together, that's on you.
Speaker 5: But I feel like there's a lot of women that
Speaker 5: don't put their baby daddy on child support out of
Speaker 5: fear of looking like that girl or looking like you know,
Speaker 5: they are being worried about needing someone. And it's like,
Speaker 5: we made this child together, and we agreed to do
Speaker 5: this together. And I think that, like, I don't know,
Speaker 5: for me, I had a lot of shame and guilt
Speaker 5: around even going to court, like being like I don't
Speaker 5: I don't want to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't want him to think that I'm a gold digger.
Speaker 6: And I'm like, what the fuck he thinks thought he
Speaker 6: was a good dad.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: So I think that, like, like you said, like it's
Speaker 5: you have to find your your sweet spot in that
Speaker 5: in that understanding and I will say too though as
Speaker 5: someone that went through the process of getting child support.
Speaker 3: It is an ugly process. It made me feel disgusted
Speaker 3: with myself.
Speaker 5: I literally had to become a private investigator of this
Speaker 5: nigger like look taking screenshots of him buying diamonds like
Speaker 5: he can afford it, you know, like this.
Speaker 2: It was gross. I was like, I hate that I
Speaker 2: have to Why why.
Speaker 3: Are you even putting me in the position that I
Speaker 3: have that You're avoiding your responsibility so deeply that I
Speaker 3: even have to go to the process of going You're
Speaker 3: so vain and stupid that I can even have the
Speaker 3: opportunity to screenshot. But this is you're making me go
Speaker 3: so low. But you're such a scum that I have
Speaker 3: that's what I have to do to prove that you're
Speaker 3: making money, so that you allocated a properly And.
Speaker 5: And and of course hopefully those that those feelings and
Speaker 5: for me, those feelings have they motivate you to them
Speaker 5: be like, let me figure this shit out, because I
Speaker 5: don't want to ever have to fucking ask you for shit,
Speaker 5: you know, And so hopefully that is I don't want
Speaker 5: to say hopefully that's the goal. Hopefully the goal is
Speaker 5: that you guys can copare it together, and you guys
Speaker 5: can equally be responsibil responsible for the child.
Speaker 2: But in the case that it's not, do what the
Speaker 2: fuck you have to do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we always do because that's what women do.
Speaker 3: We figure it the fuck out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And honestly, does he even have any money? Because I'm not.
Speaker 3: Going a like out of my way to go get
Speaker 3: your fucking one seventy five a month. But it sounds
Speaker 3: like that, But it sounds like in this particular situation.
Speaker 3: I don't know what the conversation have been before in
Speaker 3: their relationship, but I'm assuming they have talked about children
Speaker 3: if they've been together for five years in a relationship
Speaker 3: that they both knew that they were in. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: perhaps like she's very shocked. I don't know if she's
Speaker 3: still in the chat as of now, shocked and surprise
Speaker 3: that he doesn't want to have a baby with her.
Speaker 3: But I just feel like, if you're choosing to continue
Speaker 3: with the pregnancy and knowing that this person is not
Speaker 3: maybe going to participate in the raising of this child,
Speaker 3: then you are. Now it's a new terms and agreement,
Speaker 3: there's a new contract that's being made, and the contract
Speaker 3: is that you are the sole provider of this child
Speaker 3: because he's telling you what his where, his where?
Speaker 2: His mind is that yeah, And I think that.
Speaker 5: That too, like for women where I when I see
Speaker 5: that this happens, are men feeling trapped in in in
Speaker 5: relationships through pregnancy?
Speaker 2: Like I feel for men sometimes I'd be like, why
Speaker 2: the fuck? Why would you do that?
Speaker 6: But then again it's like, well why did you not?
Speaker 6: In the bitch?
Speaker 4: Okay, but because it feels.
Speaker 5: A contributed we all participated, and maybe you need to
Speaker 5: have a terms and agreements beforehand, so you know, what
Speaker 5: the fuck?
Speaker 3: Even though I haven't abided by this law because you know, condoms,
Speaker 3: you know, but like I condoms you know generally, Like
Speaker 3: I think, like sometimes she starts having a good night,
Speaker 3: like as you go to the club and you meet
Speaker 3: a nigga, he's fine as hell, you fuck and raw,
Speaker 3: and it's just like.
Speaker 5: You you just end up nutting at her, I think,
Speaker 5: And then you just get emotionally attached to the baby
Speaker 5: when you're not even emotionally attached to this person, And
Speaker 5: that's confusing for a man.
Speaker 2: Don't and I don't, I don't say. And that's where I.
Speaker 5: Agree with the men where I'm like, what the fuck? Well,
Speaker 5: you had a one night stand, bitch, Like, what where
Speaker 5: did you get that? I wanted to be your baby daddy.
Speaker 2: Don't have unprotected sex with that we both agree to this?
Speaker 5: And women, yeah, women, I would be acting crazy.
Speaker 6: No, I think it's nuts. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't really agree with having kids with someone who
Speaker 3: doesn't want a kid, because I mean, because I'm not.
Speaker 3: I don't want to force this on you unless you're like,
Speaker 3: I'm totally okay with walking away and doing it solely.
Speaker 3: If you don't, if you're not okay with doing it
Speaker 3: solely by yourself, then why y'all?
Speaker 4: Okay, y'all, okay, nuts, yeah you guys, okay, Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm good.
Speaker 3: I don't want to force anything on anybody. But if
Speaker 3: unless you're oh, no, I'm great.
Speaker 2: I got my child's porn. I'm great.
Speaker 4: I wish I had times before, but he got superheated.
Speaker 2: It's hot.
Speaker 5: I'm just I just feel like this topic is there's
Speaker 5: a lot of layers to it, and and I think
Speaker 5: maybe I felt triggered by your what you saying like that,
Speaker 5: not because you've taken an autonomy over your decision, but
Speaker 5: I think that like a lot of women, when they
Speaker 5: push this narrative around, like I don't take chance to part,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, well, it's really just because.
Speaker 4: I don't like drama, Like I just and honestly, I
Speaker 4: don't want a man telling me how to do anything.
Speaker 4: And once a man starts paying for shit, then he
Speaker 4: wants to like his opinions, and I think you, I
Speaker 4: don't want to. I don't give a fuck about a
Speaker 4: nigga gotta say about shit. So it's easier for me
Speaker 4: if I just beat it because I don't want you
Speaker 4: calling me on some I think the baby should go
Speaker 4: to this school. I don't give a fuck what you think.
Speaker 4: Like I'm that person. So that's just me though, like
Speaker 4: I'm super me though, Like so everybody else has their
Speaker 4: own thing. I don't like men. When men start talking
Speaker 4: to me, I'm I'm not gonna lie. When men start
Speaker 4: talking to me, I get angry, like shot the fuck
Speaker 4: up on everything. But that's just me, and so everyone
Speaker 4: has their own journey. I just don't like men's opinions
Speaker 4: on anything, especially the raising of the I don't want
Speaker 4: their input on anything.
Speaker 2: And if you take the money, then you have to
Speaker 2: do then there's.
Speaker 4: Input, and I don't want input, and that's.
Speaker 6: That's just me.
Speaker 4: I don't want input. I don't I don't need you,
Speaker 4: I don't need your money. I don't need it. So
Speaker 4: that there's that we're good, and I don't want the
Speaker 4: input on anything. If I ask a question, then answer
Speaker 4: my question. But I don't like the the unsolicited input
Speaker 4: that sometimes happens. I just like to live my life
Speaker 4: the way I want to live my life, and I
Speaker 4: don't like men interjecting and how I'm living my life
Speaker 4: or how I'm doing things. And that's just me personally,
Speaker 4: and that's just me as a mother, as a woman.
Speaker 4: I just I just want men to be quiet and
Speaker 4: just do what I tell them to do. But I'm
Speaker 4: also very domn that way, and so that's just my lifestyle.
Speaker 4: That's not every one's lifestyle. I like to boss men around,
Speaker 4: choke them out, like it's just a thing that I do.
Speaker 2: Cheers to living life on our.
Speaker 4: Own terms, a little bit left on your own.
Speaker 5: Terms, our own terms, right, Women living life on their
Speaker 5: own terms, no matter where you fall in the domination spectrum.
Speaker 4: That's just me. But I understand I do understand why
Speaker 4: women go through the process. Also, don't like stress. It is.
Speaker 4: It's hard, like going to court is just hard.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 5: It was, and I pray, I thank god it didn't
Speaker 5: take too too long. And that's why I tell women
Speaker 5: what they do go down that path, just be prepared.
Speaker 2: It's not cute.
Speaker 5: You feel really gross throughout it. And I almost gave
Speaker 5: up a few times, and I'm glad I didn't. I'm
Speaker 5: glad that I followed through and that I don't have
Speaker 5: to ask for shit and then it's just done and
Speaker 5: I don't have to think about it and we don't
Speaker 5: have to talk about it. We literally don't talk about
Speaker 5: money at all anymore. And that became a that became peace,
Speaker 5: and that became my peace in my life. But it
Speaker 5: didn't it didn't come without trials and a lot of
Speaker 5: self doubt and uncomfortability, and.
Speaker 2: It was it was. It's not for everybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree. So I think that to your point,
Speaker 4: if she goes forward, she has to understand there's a
Speaker 4: great possibility she'll be a single parent going through this,
Speaker 4: and she may have to go through the child support
Speaker 4: process in the court, and that's difficult and it's hard,
Speaker 4: but it's worth it. In the end hopefully and everyone,
Speaker 4: but also too like she doesn't have to, she doesn't
Speaker 4: want to, it's completely up to her and what she
Speaker 4: wants to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you re birth?
Speaker 6: And we make the rolest.
Speaker 4: Being a black woman, a black person, but just speaking
Speaker 4: about women in just in general, it's really difficult. And
Speaker 4: the concept, which is something I wasn't raised with, was
Speaker 4: just like, you have to work twice as hard to
Speaker 4: get the same thing. I didn't grow up with that
Speaker 4: I work half as much like and I don't want to,
Speaker 4: and I want the same things. I want to live soft,
Speaker 4: I want to live easy. I want to work half
Speaker 4: as much and get the same things. And for me,
Speaker 4: that works. And then when anyone questions me, I just
Speaker 4: tell them I'm tapping into my white privilege because.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 4: I am, because I am.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 4: I'm going to do very little. I'm going to earn
Speaker 4: just as much, and I'm not going to work myself
Speaker 4: to the bone. I'm not going to miss out on
Speaker 4: my family moments, I'm not going to miss out on
Speaker 4: community moments. I'm not going to miss out on life
Speaker 4: because I'm working myself to the bone to earn every
Speaker 4: single thing that a mediocre white man has to work
Speaker 4: two hours to build, and I'm working for seven days
Speaker 4: for the same thing he does in two hours. I
Speaker 4: just literally refuse to do it. I think that, and
Speaker 4: it's really it's really interesting to me too. How like
Speaker 4: in American society, they only show slavery as the history,
Speaker 4: and that's not fair.
Speaker 3: It's intentional, though it is intentional. If you think your
Speaker 3: history begins there, then you'll be blinded by what you
Speaker 3: And the.
Speaker 4: Fact that they call people of color minorities when you're
Speaker 4: actually the global majority is wild. Like you may be
Speaker 4: the minority in your community, even if you were the
Speaker 4: minority in America, globally, you're the majority because people of color.
Speaker 4: It's all colors.
Speaker 2: So that's how big we know Africa is.
Speaker 4: On the map exactly. You're the global populations. So you
Speaker 4: stop calling yourself a minority and you start calling yourself
Speaker 4: a global majority. And it changed. It just shifts the beliefs.
Speaker 4: I cannot believe. I still can't how many people are
Speaker 4: pro You keep seeing the word programming, and I cannot
Speaker 4: believe that people are still programmed, like you're chat GPT,
Speaker 4: like you've taken information and then that's the only thing,
Speaker 4: you know, and that's wild system.
Speaker 2: That's what you've adopted as true. No investigation.
Speaker 4: Well that's no investigation, yeah, exactly, Well you.
Speaker 3: Have to have the brain of an investigator. I do
Speaker 3: believe it's interesting. Like sometimes people just come into the
Speaker 3: world curious and clear and like, are.
Speaker 6: You sure this is what God is? Or like you
Speaker 6: know kids.
Speaker 3: Generally and like, but then you become like hypnotized in
Speaker 3: a trance. If you've never seen anything different, How could
Speaker 3: you know it exists unless you have the imagination that
Speaker 3: is curious and that is like once to create and
Speaker 3: every And I do think, like you talked earlier about,
Speaker 3: you know, the majority of people, unfortunately, the majority of
Speaker 3: people are easily programmed.
Speaker 4: That's so weird to me.
Speaker 6: Me too, it's so.
Speaker 2: Weird to me.
Speaker 4: I still don't understand.
Speaker 5: Well, we've been like a great marketing test. I feel like,
Speaker 5: specifically in America.
Speaker 6: Like this is like marketing. It's psychological.
Speaker 5: I mean, it's well, it's psychological warfare. It's marketing that
Speaker 5: they've marketed towards us to believe, to tap into believe.
Speaker 2: It's advertising, but advertising.
Speaker 3: I just want you to know, you guys, it's like
Speaker 3: the like hypnosis of this subconscious brain. They studied your
Speaker 3: brain and subliminal messages so that you could easily be progressed.
Speaker 5: You knew how many times you needed to hear something
Speaker 5: to believe it. Like they know the way you need
Speaker 5: to hear it. They know the like the pronunciation of
Speaker 5: the words that you need to say it in a
Speaker 5: certain way. They know the cadence of the conversation that
Speaker 5: you need to hear in order.
Speaker 2: To believe it.
Speaker 5: That's why even as a public speaker, there's are what
Speaker 5: you get trained in order to understand how to speak
Speaker 5: and tap into someone's psyche. When you're a salesperson, you
Speaker 5: know what words, what words to say, how many times
Speaker 5: to say it, how to pronounce it, like put nunciations
Speaker 5: on certain words. Even when I was doing Home Shopping
Speaker 5: Network and I got all this coaching, it was like
Speaker 5: say this like really tappen, like not bring your voice
Speaker 5: down down and then bring them in and it's like subtle.
Speaker 2: It's very subtle, and it's and it's a beautiful skill
Speaker 2: to have. You have it.
Speaker 4: I do have, Yeah, you do use it often.
Speaker 2: You have it.
Speaker 4: And yes, I had media training during confessions and honestly,
Speaker 4: as an orator, and just as study or just as
Speaker 4: a studier of oration and as a reader, I understand words,
Speaker 4: the power of words, and how to use words to
Speaker 4: make people feel what I want them to feel.
Speaker 2: And hook them.
Speaker 4: So it's important to me for people to understand that
Speaker 4: if you hate me I wanted you to hate me,
Speaker 4: You're doing what I want you to do. You're not
Speaker 4: going against the grain, you're not bothering me. I want
Speaker 4: you to do that because I make money off that.
Speaker 4: I am now relevant. And also the visceral reactions, so
Speaker 4: visceral meaning whether you're one way or the other doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: I need you to have a visceral reaction. In order
Speaker 4: for me to tickle that visceral reaction inside of you,
Speaker 4: I have to use certain words in a certain way
Speaker 4: at a certain time, and that is the genius of
Speaker 4: a wordsmith. So everyone is doing exactly what I want
Speaker 4: them to do, how I want them to do it,
Speaker 4: when I want them to do it, because I control
Speaker 4: them and they don't control me. So then that goes
Speaker 4: back to what we talked about earlier. And no matter
Speaker 4: how people feel, I'm still in control. You think that
Speaker 4: you're controlling me by your opinion but your opinion is
Speaker 4: based on what I said, when I said it, how
Speaker 4: I said it, where I said it when I said it.
Speaker 4: Because everything I do is on purpose with purpose. So therefore,
Speaker 4: when I did Pierce Morgan, I haven't said anything and
Speaker 4: off social for almost a year. That was intentional. Then
Speaker 4: I waited till the decision from the court to be
Speaker 4: able to come out and now start talking. That's intentional.
Speaker 4: So now your reactions. Everything that I'm saying is intentional.
Speaker 4: When I was asked if me and Diddy had sex
Speaker 4: and I said not, to my recollection, that's intentional. For
Speaker 4: your reaction is what I want you to have. I
Speaker 4: am manipulating everybody here because I understand number one psychology,
Speaker 4: number two the English language, and I'm a fucking genius
Speaker 4: and which you ever fucking forget it?
Speaker 2: Period? Amen, I'm hooked. Got me.
Speaker 3: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you hypnotize the odds,
Speaker 3: And now I'm hypnotized.
Speaker 6: It's true.
Speaker 3: And I went to I was like in junior college
Speaker 3: and I are like just my first freshman year, and
Speaker 3: I did psychology and I started to learn the the
Speaker 3: development of media and the development of marketing and advertising
Speaker 3: and when the TV hit the market and radio hit
Speaker 3: the market, that there was also a deep study of
Speaker 3: the psychological brain and the subconscious. It's not like literally,
Speaker 3: I in the car, I turned down commercials like if
Speaker 3: then radios on. I never listened to programming. I'm so aware.
Speaker 3: Even like when Luna was a baby, I started to
Speaker 3: notice if we would like drive by Jumba Juice, she'd
Speaker 3: be like juice and like how her brain was associating
Speaker 3: the logos at such a young age. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: this shit is for real, and like how like the
Speaker 3: Mermaid of like even things that we don't even remember
Speaker 3: in this lifetime, there are things and symbolisms and colors
Speaker 3: and shapes that trigger, you know, knowledge of past lives
Speaker 3: and like our subconscious on a deep, deep level.
Speaker 6: So don't fuck around. That shit is real and true.
Speaker 4: And I spent many years working as a senior copywriter
Speaker 4: in corporate marketing, so I am well versed in obviously
Speaker 4: marketing and anything copywriting, anything words is like my vibe.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's an emotional Like there's an emotional aspect to
Speaker 5: that as well, where you know how to like ooka
Speaker 5: in that hook in that customer early and then keep
Speaker 5: them there, keep them coming.
Speaker 2: The bob is bobbing.
Speaker 5: Okay, as someone said in the chat, the bob is
Speaker 5: the main character.
Speaker 4: Is it bobbing?
Speaker 2: I think it's tarot time? Okay. I would love for
Speaker 2: you to pick a card please, and thank you. You
Speaker 2: to close your eyes, your hand over there.
Speaker 9: Okay, give it some energy.
Speaker 7: Ham.
Speaker 2: It's two days ago. We're still in it. Yeah, the Yeah,
Speaker 2: we did Capricorn.
Speaker 6: The World, the World.
Speaker 2: See she pulled the world card, not.
Speaker 4: Me pulling the world.
Speaker 2: Let me see what does it look like? What do you?
Speaker 2: What do you when you see it? What do you see?
Speaker 4: I see a beautiful brown woman with wavy hair as
Speaker 4: I have, and she seems to be dancing, twirling with
Speaker 4: a snake. So me, bitch, so me give me tattoos.
Speaker 4: I do have tattoos?
Speaker 6: How many?
Speaker 4: I have one? Really not really big. I have a
Speaker 4: tattoo that goes from hip bone to hip bone around
Speaker 4: my back of naked nymphs in a garden, really wing winged,
Speaker 4: naked naked.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm not to see that later.
Speaker 4: So this is my card. So it's the world. There's
Speaker 4: a lion, there's a steer, there's an eagle. There's a woman, yeah,
Speaker 4: what the fuck. But honestly, me pulling the world is
Speaker 4: so me, it's so me coated.
Speaker 2: You said you're the center of your world.
Speaker 4: I'm the center. I'm the center I am.
Speaker 5: I'm just giving very much center of the world energy
Speaker 5: in the circle of this reef.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're like the beautiful glow up example of
Speaker 3: staying in your.
Speaker 6: Own bubble, and like, how beneficial it could be. I
Speaker 6: can't hear, I can't see ship.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2: With you people.
Speaker 4: I don't know what's happening. I am. I'm somewhere in upstate.
Speaker 2: New York and the Catskills Hudson Valley, not with a
Speaker 2: white man at.
Speaker 5: All, totally the white men at all, and and and
Speaker 5: my gardens and my gardens.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just living a different line. I have no
Speaker 4: idea what's going on with a few people.
Speaker 6: You're like, no, don't happen, there's nothing going on.
Speaker 4: What's happening down here?
Speaker 2: Tell us what's happening with the world, Jamila.
Speaker 3: Do you know when the world card appears in a
Speaker 3: tarot reading, you are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfillment,
Speaker 3: and completion a long term project, period of study, relationship,
Speaker 3: or career has come full circle, and you are now
Speaker 3: reveling in the sense of closure and accomplishment. This card
Speaker 3: could represent graduation, a marriage, the birth of a child,
Speaker 3: or achieving a long held dream or aspiration. You have
Speaker 3: finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together
Speaker 3: and you are in the right space, doing the right thing,
Speaker 3: achieving what you have envisioned. You feel whole and complete now.
Speaker 3: The World card invites you to reflect on your journey,
Speaker 3: honor your achievements, and tune into your spiritual lessons. Celebrate
Speaker 3: your success and bask in the joy of having brought
Speaker 3: your goals to fruition. All the triumphs and tribulations along
Speaker 3: your path have made you into the strong, wise, more
Speaker 3: experienced person you are now. Express gratitude for what you've
Speaker 3: created and harvested. Finally, make sure you don't rush into
Speaker 3: the next big project. Celebrating your journey will set you
Speaker 3: up for success when you're ready for your next challenge.
Speaker 3: If you have not quite reached this point of completion,
Speaker 3: then you are very close. You may still need to
Speaker 3: add a level of understanding to graduate to a higher
Speaker 3: level and enjoy real success, look back at past experiences,
Speaker 3: acknowledge how far you've come and what you've learned along
Speaker 3: the way. How beautiful for your twentieth year anniversary of this,
Speaker 3: of this like epic book, your first like like your
Speaker 3: first published book, and now you're here, and it's like
Speaker 3: it's still relevant, it's still important.
Speaker 6: Everything you said was to be true, and like.
Speaker 4: Everything I said, like I warned you guys, Like when
Speaker 4: I go through confessions and I I'm reading bits and
Speaker 4: pieces of it, I'm like, how did you guys not
Speaker 4: see what I was saying? Like, bro, I told you
Speaker 4: what was happening. I told you there's some shit going
Speaker 4: on that's not cool. But you're so you're so in
Speaker 4: this country, so you demonize sex so much that you
Speaker 4: were so stuck on the sexual part. You're not looking
Speaker 4: at what was happening around the sex, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean? And and sex is so natural to me
Speaker 4: and such a regular part of life that I didn't
Speaker 4: understand the demonization of the female autonomy. I didn't realize
Speaker 4: that the United States hates female autonomy. I didn't understand
Speaker 4: hates it. And then when you go back to look
Speaker 4: at like the feminine product, the feminine product ads of
Speaker 4: like the nineteen fifties, forties, forties, fifties, sixties, How they
Speaker 4: demonize women's bodies, How they told us to douche with lysol.
Speaker 4: What the lifesaw douche ads are wild, bro, How they
Speaker 4: said that our bodies were disgusting, How our husbands were
Speaker 4: leaving us because we stunk. Have you seen these in
Speaker 4: this Have you not maybe revisit that life saw feminine product.
Speaker 4: You literally had the douche with light saw for your
Speaker 4: husband to stay with you. There was a there was
Speaker 4: a you guys drank at the same time that was
Speaker 4: that was crazy. There were Folgers coffee ads in the
Speaker 4: early nineteen eighties maybe late seventies that were all geared
Speaker 4: to the woman who just did everything wrong and the
Speaker 4: one right thing she did was make Folgers coffee. It
Speaker 4: was like ads for so many decades were about how
Speaker 4: awful women were.
Speaker 5: Programming not even it's the programming. Yeah it's subliminal, but
Speaker 5: not even like pretty much we hate you.
Speaker 4: So now, even though we were not alive at this time,
Speaker 4: you have to think about who was alive at this time,
Speaker 4: and then those are the people who raised you. So
Speaker 4: the grandmothers who raised your mothers, the mothers who raised you,
Speaker 4: and so the programming carries on. And then you have
Speaker 4: to think about also the programming of the nineteen eighties
Speaker 4: when AIDS hit really big and how sex became bad
Speaker 4: and like you had to have sex with your married
Speaker 4: partner or whatever it was, or you know, you couldn't
Speaker 4: have casual sex because casual sex was killing people. And
Speaker 4: so we still got this programming decades later, even though
Speaker 4: we now understand how to protect ourselves and that you know,
Speaker 4: we can have casual sex without dying, like it doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be so dire to where a single woman
Speaker 4: is going to die if she's having sex with people
Speaker 4: that she's not married to. But that programming, those are
Speaker 4: the people who raised you. And so you know, you're
Speaker 4: you're getting this kind of hand me down programming and
Speaker 4: you're wondering. Some like me comes along and you're like,
Speaker 4: what is this shit? Like what do you mean sexual autonomy?
Speaker 4: And you can have sex with whoever you want to,
Speaker 4: whenever you want to, however you want, wherever you want to,
Speaker 4: and it really upset people and fuck them, I don't care.
Speaker 4: But listen, no matter what relationship, non relationship. I still
Speaker 4: hold on to my sexual autonomy. I can do whatever
Speaker 4: I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, how
Speaker 4: I want, and no society will take that from me.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it just so happens that the sex that I
Speaker 4: want is with one person, and that's what I want,
Speaker 4: and the option here, and the thing about feminism is
Speaker 4: about options and that I don't have to do what
Speaker 4: you tell me, or you tell me, or you tell me.
Speaker 4: I do what I tell me to do. And sometimes
Speaker 4: what I want to do is to be with just
Speaker 4: one really awesome, amazing person and only have sex with
Speaker 4: that one person for years and years and years and years.
Speaker 4: And that's my choice as a feminist.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. That's the direction you're going in.
Speaker 4: You want to just sometimes I want I don't know's
Speaker 4: I'm heavy on this.
Speaker 5: Sometimes sometimes I'm old battle gang bank.
Speaker 4: I don't know, to me not to me? Whatever I want.
Speaker 6: A nice little gang bank can go a long way.
Speaker 4: Are you gonna tell us about your.
Speaker 6: Am I guess I can share my HOORI now.
Speaker 4: Who stories?
Speaker 2: This is the horror story?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 6: Every time every time Elizabeth comes, I feel motivated as
Speaker 6: you bring you back from the garden.
Speaker 2: And even though she's.
Speaker 3: Literally has a pearl on her neck right now, she
Speaker 3: has a pearl and alais one single pearl on her
Speaker 3: neck with her low cut v neck exposed, just a
Speaker 3: little classic cleavage, little little pearl.
Speaker 4: What's the matter with the pearl? I'm clutching my.
Speaker 2: One.
Speaker 4: This is clutching my pearl, Like these holes are crazy, crazy.
Speaker 4: But tell me about your m M.
Speaker 6: Last time you were here, I shared a story three years.
Speaker 3: Ago where I went to my fuck buddy's house and
Speaker 3: he had a trans woman there and like we like
Speaker 3: tried to have a threesome. And that was the story
Speaker 3: I told you last time because the day we interviewed,
Speaker 3: I almost slept in because I just come home from
Speaker 3: that and Orlando was calling me from New York like, bitch,
Speaker 3: wake up, and I was telling him that I was.
Speaker 2: I told my boyfriend about it.
Speaker 3: But now my boyfriend's my fiance and he's here, and
Speaker 3: now my horry includes him.
Speaker 6: Aren't you happy you moved here?
Speaker 2: Babe?
Speaker 6: They don't have to hear about my.
Speaker 2: I'm lying.
Speaker 4: He's happy like a pig and ship like he's so
Speaker 4: fucking happy, Like what would you gonna be doing?
Speaker 2: A desk and ship.
Speaker 4: You were gonna be in the Bronx somewhere, like what
Speaker 4: was you gonna be doing nothing? He would be doing nothing,
Speaker 4: not you went best? I doing nothing? Like what do
Speaker 4: you mean, Mila saved your life?
Speaker 6: I did.
Speaker 3: In the words of Ken the Man, I'm your first
Speaker 3: bab bitch. I love Ken the Man, by the way,
Speaker 3: I love number one song right now is First the First.
Speaker 3: I'm that nigga first bab bach Sorry.
Speaker 4: Let me drink my butt like not me thinking I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm mine. He never really had a bad bitch before me.
Speaker 2: Thinking about it like you're a white man's first bad bitch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you swear it's a white man like.
Speaker 5: Latino, what is he?
Speaker 4: But I think I'm his first bad bitch? Like what
Speaker 4: you mean?
Speaker 3: Listen to First by King the Man Relea here, I
Speaker 3: Love the Man. You don't really feel that one. I'm
Speaker 3: a I'm a meth Sorry. So you know, a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks ago, it was my birthday and I was
Speaker 3: going to have like a little birthday party at the house,
Speaker 3: and then we extended our trip in Costa Rica. So
Speaker 3: we got back the day of the birthday party, and
Speaker 3: I was like, this is not realistic and my homegirl
Speaker 3: had and she was like, you know that guy that
Speaker 3: we facetimed on so and So's birthday, Like, do you
Speaker 3: mind if I talked to him? And this is one
Speaker 3: of my like my back in the day niggas that
Speaker 3: you know, I've know him for a long time that
Speaker 3: I used to fuck on. And I was like, no,
Speaker 3: he's a really nice guy and he has a big dick,
Speaker 3: you know. And I was like, actually, I was going
Speaker 3: to have a party on Saturday, but instead of having
Speaker 3: a full blown party, let's just have a full person
Speaker 3: party because I'm trying to read make this other foursome
Speaker 3: that I had last year. But now it's my birthday,
Speaker 3: so I have a reason to push for it. Orlando
Speaker 3: was like like, oh, it is your birthday, okay. So
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, it's my birthday. So I got
Speaker 3: hurt or agree. I got him to agree, and so
Speaker 3: the plan was that we're going to have I called
Speaker 3: it a kinky kickback, like that kinky kickback at my house.
Speaker 3: And but then I started to get cold feet. I
Speaker 3: started to get worried. I was like, you know, I'm
Speaker 3: like I used to be a lesbian, but I'm not
Speaker 3: so lesbian, Like now I'm like, I don't want to like.
Speaker 6: Necessarily have to eat pussy.
Speaker 3: And I started getting in my head, it's my friend,
Speaker 3: and then I was like, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 3: So anyway, as a night started to progress, cleaned up,
Speaker 3: and then I realized, like she kept bullshitting. She was like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the bar. I'm
Speaker 3: still at the bar, and I was like, okay. The
Speaker 3: guy pulled up and we like walked to the store,
Speaker 3: and you know, I live right by a sex shop
Speaker 3: because the and so we made a detour in the
Speaker 3: sex shop.
Speaker 6: We're like laughing, like, oh, what's that?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 6: Four play sex shop?
Speaker 3: But then I was like, can't believe this bitch is
Speaker 3: gonna leave me? Like how am I supposed to like
Speaker 3: seduce two men? Like this is gonna be like awkward.
Speaker 3: I was just like I was skidding in my head,
Speaker 3: you know. But then when.
Speaker 2: Exactly I don't even know what I was worried about.
Speaker 3: Then we got there and we're like chilling and eating
Speaker 3: and drinking, smoking a blunt and it was really nice.
Speaker 3: They they surprised me with a cake. They had a
Speaker 3: cake and a candle and they sing me not happy.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't accept happy birthdays anymore. We just
Speaker 3: sang the Jamaican happy Birthday song. It's an anniversary, not
Speaker 3: a birthday because I'm twenty four. Jamaican happy birthday song,
Speaker 3: Happy birthday friend one mo yeah, put on them, Oh
Speaker 3: give thanks for life.
Speaker 4: Oh I'm from Saint Thomas. Honey, we don't do it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have this thing.
Speaker 4: That song, Yeah, I need, I need that in my life.
Speaker 3: You don't need the birthday song so fucking ritual that
Speaker 3: ages you.
Speaker 6: So they sang.
Speaker 3: Orlando did my favorite karaoke song, mister Boombastic Super Important,
Speaker 3: and I got really excited over the birthday. I was
Speaker 3: just like, wow, this is so specially you guys like
Speaker 3: coordinated behind my back because I I made a group
Speaker 3: chat and they mussa have like went on the side.
Speaker 3: And then we just came back from an epic Costa
Speaker 3: Rican couple's retreat. We just landed that day and I
Speaker 3: had three blue you like glow in the dark lights
Speaker 3: and one package glow in the dark paint. So Orlando's like,
Speaker 3: let's do the glow with the glow in the dark.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, Okay, that's the glow in the dark.
Speaker 3: I put a mattress in the middle of the living
Speaker 3: room in front of this huge mirror. We turn off
Speaker 3: all the lights. We turned on the blue lights, and
Speaker 3: then like they started painting me. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm so cool. I got two niggas painting me. I'm naked,
Speaker 3: I was smoking of lent. They're like putting powerful words
Speaker 3: on me, like power, pissy, insert here, you know here.
Speaker 6: Oh, and so we did that and then we did
Speaker 6: like a little like tantric practice.
Speaker 3: I put both their hands, was like, let's just take
Speaker 3: a moment, you know, before we like whatever we're about
Speaker 3: to get into. And then the guy or I like
Speaker 3: went to the bathroom and he was like I was like,
Speaker 3: can't with this.
Speaker 6: Bitch show up. He's like, we're still going.
Speaker 4: To do it. I was like, hell, yeah, we're going
Speaker 4: to do it.
Speaker 6: One bitch, don't stop, no show right right. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 6: we're doing it.
Speaker 3: So then Lana came back and we like did a
Speaker 3: little tantic exercise and I was just like, put both
Speaker 3: their hands on my heart, on top of each other,
Speaker 3: and I was like, this is about pleasure, this is
Speaker 3: about freedom, This is about trust, about friendship, about love.
Speaker 2: About me more importantly, I'm the center of the world today.
Speaker 6: And then we're like yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, everybody's breathe released the sound and
Speaker 3: they did and it was really cute.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: He was just like, wow, I've never just like painted,
Speaker 3: Like I just not like what should I pay? I'm
Speaker 3: like whatever you want, and he was just like just really.
Speaker 4: Like, this is a lot of words for a threesome.
Speaker 4: It's crazy crazy.
Speaker 6: What's the last three cent you had?
Speaker 4: First of all, your mother store, don't worry about me,
Speaker 4: don't mean so, don't rush. It's a lot though it's
Speaker 4: been some decades. But also it's a lot.
Speaker 6: Bro.
Speaker 4: Is this like a millennial three gen Z three? Because
Speaker 4: back in my day we just tutor ass and get
Speaker 4: to the business reason and ship and it's paint. They're
Speaker 4: all kind of glowing the dark.
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 6: It's called an activation?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I called a birdie man in my
Speaker 5: living rooms?
Speaker 4: Is an activation?
Speaker 6: We had an activation before?
Speaker 5: You mean, we need paint to active coach at the house.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're almost there, when do tell me? Tell me
Speaker 4: who put it in first?
Speaker 6: Like, I'm just trying to get and then after that
Speaker 6: we got in the shower.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, oh my gosh, hush, let me tell
Speaker 4: my story.
Speaker 6: This is my story, so crazy. Three some is this.
Speaker 4: This is the new threesomes TikTok three.
Speaker 6: This is how I start my TikTok.
Speaker 3: I can tell my story three crazy, the others three cent.
Speaker 6: There's a lot of pivotal words in this. That's a
Speaker 6: lot of.
Speaker 2: Thousand and five crazy.
Speaker 4: Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 6: So then hours then the paint off.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the paint off of us, you bitch,
Speaker 3: you bitch.
Speaker 4: There we get to Orlando. You would here for this bullshir.
Speaker 6: We got in the shower and I was like, I
Speaker 6: put him in the shower.
Speaker 3: I gave him a towel and like a wash clob,
Speaker 3: and I came back to the living room then report
Speaker 3: him with my man because I wasn't sure what he
Speaker 3: wanted me to do. He was like, I'm gonna get
Speaker 3: in the other shower, and I was.
Speaker 4: Like, oh my god, another shower, this too, shower, bed
Speaker 4: bit rich, just two showers, bitch.
Speaker 6: We got in the shower.
Speaker 2: For my story.
Speaker 3: Girlies, who care about a fucking anticipation? She's trying to
Speaker 3: get grasped and hook them. Shut up, God, let the
Speaker 3: bitch live.
Speaker 6: So me.
Speaker 3: We're in the shower, and then I thought, you know,
Speaker 3: we were washing each other off, and then he text
Speaker 3: my plissy and I was like, oh no, did Orlando
Speaker 3: even give me permission to the Then I hopped out anyway,
Speaker 3: and then we said, let's go in the living room
Speaker 3: again with the blue light and put baby on. Let's
Speaker 3: put coconut oil all over ourselves so we could be
Speaker 3: like Heisha from Belly. So we did, and then Orlando said,
Speaker 3: all right, the shiny one. So then shiny she no
Speaker 3: specifically that scene with her it's blue. So we did that,
Speaker 3: and then Orlando said took him to put a blindfold
Speaker 3: on the bed, two blindfolds, and told me come in
Speaker 3: there in twenty seconds, poor a drink and come in there.
Speaker 3: And then when I came in there, they were both
Speaker 3: on the bed naked with blindfolds on. And then I
Speaker 3: just did whatever I wanted and I sat on Orlando's dick,
Speaker 3: I said, on both of their faces.
Speaker 6: And then to take his off.
Speaker 3: The guy had his on, and I was like, should
Speaker 3: I take us off? He was like no, so you're
Speaker 3: just like so then so then we did the Eiffel Tower,
Speaker 3: which was really important.
Speaker 6: To me because this white, ash old tower.
Speaker 4: I'll show you, oh you'll show me.
Speaker 3: Like one guys this way right, Okay, one the mouth, Okay,
Speaker 3: dick in the pissy right.
Speaker 2: They go like this, No, one guy's here. One guys there.
Speaker 4: They're touching hands so they can connect, like it's a
Speaker 4: bonding experience.
Speaker 2: How they're like slapping each their's hands like this.
Speaker 6: And I was like, let's look in the mirror because
Speaker 6: I can't take a picture.
Speaker 4: So the way I would weak their asses. It was
Speaker 4: my idea.
Speaker 6: First I was like, okay, touch hands, and then I
Speaker 6: was like, look what we're doing it.
Speaker 4: So it's like a oh my god, I'm so old.
Speaker 6: It's called the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 3: Okay, this young bitch told me five years ago, and
Speaker 3: I was determined to did my my Eiffel Tower on
Speaker 3: and they participated and then we just got it pop
Speaker 3: in and I had it was just really you know,
Speaker 3: we switched, you know, and it lasted a long time.
Speaker 3: The poor guy fell asleep. Mear Lando kept sucking and
Speaker 3: you know, he left around eleven am. And it was
Speaker 3: just really beautiful and everything was about me. It got
Speaker 3: like my pussy ate my ass ate at the same time,
Speaker 3: and just a lot of things that you know, every
Speaker 3: girl shook it once a year in their birthday.
Speaker 4: I like that. The Eiffel Tower, So.
Speaker 6: If you guys haven't tried the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 4: Two men touching hands while I'm getting like roasted is not.
Speaker 4: It was like very like that's a wonder Twins ship.
Speaker 5: Like it's activation of energy.
Speaker 6: It was a tan trick.
Speaker 3: Threesome activation was like divine, masculine.
Speaker 2: And everyone's touching at the same time.
Speaker 5: The guys are touching sort of like just not just
Speaker 5: enough to not be gay, so they just like them.
Speaker 6: Their hands and we know you don't.
Speaker 4: Want them to be inside each other.
Speaker 6: I know that didn't happen. I just want them to
Speaker 6: be inside.
Speaker 2: Do you watch do you watch a gay porn?
Speaker 4: I love threesome porn where both guys.
Speaker 6: I love by MMF two that's my favorite. By m
Speaker 6: MF oh bye me.
Speaker 4: But then everybody's there's no hands off. I mean, obviously
Speaker 4: by my dating history. I love a bye guy.
Speaker 2: I saw I was.
Speaker 5: I watched porn last night a little bit just to
Speaker 5: get me going, and it's a little bit just a
Speaker 5: little bit, because I usually because I usually get annoyed
Speaker 5: and I end up turning it off. Then I just
Speaker 5: used my imagination. But I saw a video. There's a
Speaker 5: bunch of selections, and there was one where this girl
Speaker 5: was like in disguised dick and then the guy.
Speaker 2: Was holding another guy's dick.
Speaker 3: Speaking of that, what I love? That got some news
Speaker 3: from my gay friends last night. I saw one of
Speaker 3: our porn friends in an orgy and he's graduated, and
Speaker 3: he was fucking a bitch and jacking a dick off
Speaker 3: a dick like a man's dick porn?
Speaker 4: Was he was? Was he not doing that before? He
Speaker 4: was touching mema?
Speaker 2: Graduated?
Speaker 4: Graduated?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I graduated anyway, Sorry, did dressed up?
Speaker 5: He dressed up like a we'll talk about later, Okay. Anyway,
Speaker 5: I saw that visual and I said, no, thank you.
Speaker 5: I don't want any parts of that. I don't have
Speaker 5: any interest in seeing any guys tracking off any other
Speaker 5: guys or putting dicks on anybody who holds no no that.
Speaker 5: I want all the attention to be on me, and
Speaker 5: you guys just couldnspire for my pleasure.
Speaker 2: You guys don't need to be pleasing each other. It's
Speaker 2: just not. It's just not.
Speaker 4: One of my favorite things about one of my exes
Speaker 4: was how many fingers he would take?
Speaker 6: How many it was like three or four?
Speaker 2: Which ex.
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: It was like this. It was like one of these
Speaker 2: how small or bigger hand is?
Speaker 4: I could be a regular one of my recent excesses
Speaker 4: that you asked me about.
Speaker 3: Interesting before that's seems like you might have done that before.
Speaker 2: Did you train it at?
Speaker 4: I didn't have to. It was it was already done
Speaker 4: for me.
Speaker 2: Put do you put lou all over your hands and
Speaker 2: then you do that?
Speaker 4: I didn't have to. He was just open and ready.
Speaker 4: He he's by he was he had boyfriends.
Speaker 6: He was already lubed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he yeah, he's he's super clean. This other thing too,
Speaker 4: like he's super close. When I knew was that in
Speaker 4: the oral copulation part, like in the in the ring
Speaker 4: around a rosie part of the sexual intercourse. He was
Speaker 4: super clean all the time. So I knew that he douched.
Speaker 4: I knew that he cleaned his inside. And then I
Speaker 4: heard from someone in his community how open he was
Speaker 4: to man on man whatever.
Speaker 6: Oh he didn't hear that from him?
Speaker 4: No, he didn't tell me at first, okay, and then
Speaker 4: I asked him if we could have like a threesome
Speaker 4: or like a four sum and he said yes, but
Speaker 4: he wanted a man, and I was like absolutely yes.
Speaker 4: It was like, yeah, he wanted to have like another
Speaker 4: woman and another man.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like a swinger of situation, but everybody is playing.
Speaker 4: But yeah, So what I knew automatically from I didn't
Speaker 4: know at first when we first started seeing each other
Speaker 4: that he was that way, but other people knew. I
Speaker 4: don't listen. I don't know stuff like I'm not on
Speaker 4: the internet enough to know. I'm not in people's business enough, right,
Speaker 4: I don't do the gossip things. I don't know. I
Speaker 4: just thought he painted his nails because he was avant garde.
Speaker 4: I didn't know he paid his nails because he likes boys.
Speaker 4: I didn't know. But when I found out, I didn't
Speaker 4: deter me because that just means that I could do
Speaker 4: more stuff, so that when we were in intimate situations,
Speaker 4: I was able to do more stuff. I was able
Speaker 4: to do butt stuff, which makes me really happy.
Speaker 3: Her pink butting that she likes to bring me love,
Speaker 3: but you prefer by guys, so you could do butt stuff.
Speaker 4: I do prefer by guys who I can do butt stuff.
Speaker 4: But I've also turned, not turned. But also there are
Speaker 4: some guys who have been by curious, who have been
Speaker 4: able to release their curiosity and like let me get
Speaker 4: into their butt.
Speaker 6: Because is that releasing your by curiosity?
Speaker 3: If you like a woman to get into your butt,
Speaker 3: are you releasing your by curiosity?
Speaker 4: I think so. I think I think I am the
Speaker 4: gateway drug to the real penis pinky, then grab because
Speaker 4: if you're curious about stuff in your butt, once a
Speaker 4: man grabs his ankles during once a man grabs his
Speaker 4: ankles and like spreads his cheeks for me, I know
Speaker 4: that he's now open to all kinds of butt play,
Speaker 4: which is great. And then if he wants to be
Speaker 4: by curious with other men, I hope that I have
Speaker 4: given him the confidence to be able to do that,
Speaker 4: to explore his sexuality fully.
Speaker 3: Well, the thing about any dildo is that it's never
Speaker 3: going to be as good as a real dick. So
Speaker 3: if you like a dildo, because let me ask you,
Speaker 3: I try to get this. I try to be lesbian
Speaker 3: for a long time, and I like real dick, So
Speaker 3: it just wasn't gonna work for me.
Speaker 6: I was going to take a plastic dick.
Speaker 3: But if you try a plastid dick and you're like that,
Speaker 3: you're gonna love a real dick.
Speaker 6: Yeah, take it for me.
Speaker 4: So there a been men that have started off regular,
Speaker 4: like closed minded, you know, like okay, and then over
Speaker 4: the years as we dated, I noticed the legs coming
Speaker 4: up up to the point where they're just holding their
Speaker 4: ankles at some point and just let and just give
Speaker 4: me carte blanche of of ass apple. And I love it.
Speaker 4: And I love that for them because I know that
Speaker 4: they're not free. I know that you're free.
Speaker 6: I've freed you. Once the ankles meet the hands in
Speaker 6: the air, I freed you.
Speaker 4: And now you can go and explore whatever that means
Speaker 4: for you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: I do feel that men, men that often like.
Speaker 3: Uh like, are hypocritical towards very sexual women. For the
Speaker 3: same amount of men that are hypocritical, they're also very
Speaker 3: curious and feel comfortable with sexual women because they're like, hey, can.
Speaker 4: I tell you that?
Speaker 6: Can you do this? Because you're like, oh, she's open.
Speaker 3: She makes me feel comfortable if she will tell about
Speaker 3: her set life, if she's bold enough to talk about
Speaker 3: her sex life. Then I can tell my little secrets
Speaker 3: and then maybe she'll put her tongue in my ass
Speaker 3: and then maybe I like it, and then maybe like
Speaker 3: a little finger yeah.
Speaker 6: And then they're like, why did you do this? You
Speaker 6: turn me out? I'm like, no, nigga, you asked for that, yeah.
Speaker 4: And that's what I get too, is like sometimes people
Speaker 4: will ask, like, why why are so many men still
Speaker 4: attracted to me after everything I've said and explained and
Speaker 4: wrote about.
Speaker 2: Because they want you to dom them.
Speaker 6: They want to be free.
Speaker 4: They love a dom mommy.
Speaker 2: They want you to dominate.
Speaker 4: But also they know that they're safe. They know that
Speaker 4: their proclivities are safe with me. They know that I've
Speaker 4: seen enough, done enough, I've been enough places two where
Speaker 4: there safe and they're not going to get judged for
Speaker 4: their curiosities with me. And I think that's really really important,
Speaker 4: and that's important for me too, so that whatever my
Speaker 4: curiosities are sexually, especially that I know that I'm safe
Speaker 4: and I'm in a safe space. And so there's no
Speaker 4: shortage of men. There no shortage of like wealthy, powerful,
Speaker 4: successful men especially who feel as if they can explore
Speaker 4: their sexuality with just any old body because that any
Speaker 4: old person will tell. And so it's like, if you
Speaker 4: want to dress up like a baby and wear a diaper,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: And feast on Jamala's nipples.
Speaker 4: Yeah, then then listen. I call Jamila right now, like
Speaker 4: we'll have something for that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly, Like, hey, gir out, but what time?
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, you're not gonna get judged. I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 3: There's there's a level of non judgment that comes from
Speaker 3: fucking with free women that men seek. And I find
Speaker 3: that with religious men, nerdy men, men that act like
Speaker 3: they don't want then about that life, but secretly they
Speaker 3: want to be about that life.
Speaker 6: And that that's real.
Speaker 3: There, you could be hypocritical and you could think that
Speaker 3: everybody thinks you must let but that same nigg would
Speaker 3: be in my d MS or in my phone saying, hey,
Speaker 3: I heard you talk about ebony galore MMS five.
Speaker 4: Yeah it's true. And then also too, there's the there's
Speaker 4: this thing that happens where men. Okay, so patriarchy hurts everybody.
Speaker 4: So patriarchal norms and conformities say that you have to
Speaker 4: marry a quote unquote good girl, and that that girl
Speaker 4: that a good girl. Has to have not had sex
Speaker 4: at all or have had sex with very few people.
Speaker 4: And so now you marry, you date, you marry the
Speaker 4: good girl, and the good girl doesn't know how, she
Speaker 4: doesn't take it in the ass. That's a quote unquote
Speaker 4: bad girl thing, or it's a whatever thing, whatever your
Speaker 4: proclivities are. So then what happens is that then that
Speaker 4: man then cheats on his good girl with a quote
Speaker 4: unquote bad girl. And then you now you're getting divorced.
Speaker 4: Now you're losing everything.
Speaker 6: Now to that set quote unquote sled exactly right.
Speaker 4: But now you're losing everything because you married the good girl.
Speaker 4: The church, the church mom, the church.
Speaker 7: Her wry.
Speaker 4: But but but patriarchy says that you need to be
Speaker 4: with this person, and that becomes a problem. And so
Speaker 4: this is how patriarchy hurts everybody be because now you're
Speaker 4: dating and marrying based on what those standards are. And
Speaker 4: then you but you don't really want that person. You
Speaker 4: want someone who's going to make your toes curl, Who
Speaker 4: is going to make you climb up the wall, who's
Speaker 4: gonna make you climb it, Who's gonna suck you so wet,
Speaker 4: so hard, so long, Who's gonna use both her hands
Speaker 4: and all of her throat. Who's going to take you in,
Speaker 4: Who's gonna make you just come down her throat? And
Speaker 4: like you want this?
Speaker 6: Call me a little dirty bitch, yes, like.
Speaker 4: A come dump type of bitch, Like you want this, bitch.
Speaker 4: But patriarchy says you can't marry that.
Speaker 6: They want Men love slugs.
Speaker 4: Men. First of all, men love sluts.
Speaker 2: Men.
Speaker 4: I wrote a book called men Love Sluts that I
Speaker 4: haven't published yet. Men love sluts. But then you marry
Speaker 4: the church marm because that's what that's what patriarchy says
Speaker 4: you need to marry.
Speaker 6: And then you suck the slug behind her back, right,
Speaker 6: you lose trust.
Speaker 4: Anyway, and then you lose everything. You're in divorce court.
Speaker 4: You're losing half of your money, you're losing your kids,
Speaker 4: you're losing your house, You're losing everything because you didn't
Speaker 4: marry the whore. I've been married three times, there's this
Speaker 4: is four. I am not in any shortage of husbands
Speaker 4: or wanna be husbands or fiances like men are clamoring
Speaker 4: to fucking marry me, becauset the end of the day,
Speaker 4: what you're gonna get is your food's gonna be coked.
Speaker 4: Your house it's gonna be clean, Your dick's gonna be sucked,
Speaker 4: You're gonna get fucked, And whatever your proclivities are, whatever
Speaker 4: your weird shit is, it's not fucking weird to me.
Speaker 4: I'm down for whatever. You're completely fucking safe, And if
Speaker 4: you take care of me the way I need you to,
Speaker 4: you don't have to worry about anything else, like your
Speaker 4: your household, your everything is fucking safe. I want more
Speaker 4: men to feel safe marrying the whoors because they're gonna
Speaker 4: keep you good. You're gonna wake up to dick.
Speaker 6: Sucks, but not just marrying them, respecting the respecting.
Speaker 4: Them them, yes, respecting, loving.
Speaker 6: And making them feel a safe as they make you feel.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, because not only you're gonna get your dig sucked
Speaker 4: and your your fucking breakfast, and you're gonna get all
Speaker 4: the things that you want, don't.
Speaker 2: Because the non horrors are trembling in their fucking.
Speaker 8: Imagine you spent all these years, the ones that nors
Speaker 8: that have worked so hard to not be a whore anymore,
Speaker 8: are stressed right now, be a horror because at the end.
Speaker 4: Of the day, the man who gets you his balls
Speaker 4: are gonna be so fucking empty, like my man is
Speaker 4: never gonna have to wish he was gonna get some
Speaker 4: freak ship, like you're gonna get freak shit in the
Speaker 4: morning you wake up, I'm already on freak ship. You
Speaker 4: wake up like six am, I'm over your face. I'm
Speaker 4: already dripping on your face. Your mustache is full of nut,
Speaker 4: Like I'm already on you at six a m. You're
Speaker 4: asleep and I'm fucking you already, like I'm on you, bitch,
Speaker 4: like I love you so much, but I'm there's nothing
Speaker 4: you can't propose to me that I won't at least consider.
Speaker 4: There's nothing that's not gonna get done, so I can
Speaker 4: Martha Steward this shit. I'm gonna be in the garden.
Speaker 4: I love the garden. I love to cook, I love
Speaker 4: to clean. I love laundry. Like I I like doing
Speaker 4: household chores. It centers me just emotionally and just in
Speaker 4: my anxiety. I feel grounded by my household chores. But
Speaker 4: for fuck's sake, first thing in the morning, my man
Speaker 4: gets this pussy and he gets it in any way
Speaker 4: he wants, and he do whatever he wants to my body,
Speaker 4: Like that's my man. And like you want that bitch.
Speaker 4: You want a tea bag a bitch first thing in
Speaker 4: the morning. You wanta crawl on my face and tea
Speaker 4: exactly in my sleep. I wake up and I'm you
Speaker 4: want that. I don't know what, but patriarchy again hurts
Speaker 4: everybody because patriarchy says, marry the virgin.
Speaker 6: Marry you can't marry who you actually want to marry
Speaker 6: and who really makes your balls tingle. You want to
Speaker 6: marry the bitch next door even though she just make
Speaker 6: your balls tank.
Speaker 4: You're gonna ruin her life, Bronna when he finds out
Speaker 4: you want to do the I am my map.
Speaker 3: She's gonna fucking pass out when you find but she
Speaker 3: finds a porn category that you really like.
Speaker 6: You're with the fucking anime and the weird shit, the monster.
Speaker 6: She's gonna be the monster.
Speaker 4: With the roaches and the critters, like the weird ship,
Speaker 4: the family.
Speaker 3: The pus is kind of just start, just start at
Speaker 3: holl Just start, just start at.
Speaker 6: Hell, not go start at holl.
Speaker 4: Were you like knowing that my man can finish his job,
Speaker 4: he can come home and it's a naked bitch me
Speaker 4: in the kitchen. Dinner's ready, Pussy's ready. Like whatever you
Speaker 4: want to do, bitch, do it like we're you're good
Speaker 4: and you're safe and you don't have to you know,
Speaker 4: you're not gonna be shamed for what you want. You're
Speaker 4: not gonna be ridiculed, You're not gonna be made to
Speaker 4: feel less than You're gonna be a whole ass man
Speaker 4: in this house. And it's really nothing that you can
Speaker 4: say to me that I'm gonna laugh at.
Speaker 2: Or push to the side, or you're in an argument.
Speaker 6: No, like you was taking Piggy last night.
Speaker 4: Bitch, No, you're good. And me and Pinky we're good.
Speaker 6: We're gonna hold space.
Speaker 4: We're gonna hold space, me and Pinky. You're holding space
Speaker 4: for you. Me and my deal do a holding space
Speaker 4: for you, Like you're a good word, you know, And
Speaker 4: I think that that's important.
Speaker 3: It is which brings me to him telling me like
Speaker 3: he was telling me like fuck my wife, suck that dick,
Speaker 3: and it's like really pumping me up, like to be
Speaker 3: a slundy little wife.
Speaker 6: And I really I really enjoyed that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, see you love love.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 6: Amen, sle you'll get married. You'll find the ring.
Speaker 2: Cory, thank you for sharing our who I don't have
Speaker 2: any to share. I think we're out of town.
Speaker 6: Are I just want to I just want to say
Speaker 6: the chat was it? Really? They liked my details? Okay?
Speaker 2: Everyone that was Everyone that's listening enjoyed the story.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you guys for listening and giving me a
Speaker 3: safe space to talk about it. And just for you
Speaker 3: coming back on. You know how much I love you
Speaker 3: and how proud I am of you. And every time
Speaker 3: I see you on the internet one year to the next,
Speaker 3: maybe when you're missing, I'm always happy to see you.
Speaker 3: I'm always happy to see you here. You always welcome here.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm so grateful our journey's crossed. This is
Speaker 3: so important to my sixteen year old aspiring author self.
Speaker 6: This is like I made it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, same, And I know I don't have to tell
Speaker 5: you to keep going, but just keep going.
Speaker 4: I will do my best. It's hard. It's hard to
Speaker 4: keep going.
Speaker 2: And when you build your mansion and the catskills invite us,
Speaker 2: we'll be right there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, actually building my house right now.
Speaker 5: Perfect, We'll come through. I'll do a sound bath. You
Speaker 5: got to come to our house and we'll yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're the only person will drink white wine with
Speaker 6: at ten am.
Speaker 4: You know, that's what we do. I appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys for joining us. You know here on
Speaker 3: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure
Speaker 3: you subscribe to Patreon patreon dot com, backslash.
Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 3: Make sure you check out our upcoming retreats at the
Speaker 3: Good Vibe re Treat Good Mom's Bad Choices Backslash Retreats,
Speaker 3: And you can find us on Instagram and on the
Speaker 3: tiktoks and all of this.
Speaker 6: Socials Are you back on social?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Where can our people find you? Where are you at?
Speaker 4: Okay? So I'm kind of back on social, but not really.
Speaker 4: It's the same as before. It's Elizabeth dot Ovison. I
Speaker 4: just I don't like socials and I don't like being
Speaker 4: a slave to an algorithm, and I'm really more comfortable
Speaker 4: living my life.
Speaker 2: Where can people find you? For coaching?
Speaker 6: You can't know? Okay, so I got your number?
Speaker 7: Big?
Speaker 2: You can't how many clients you don't really have? Like
Speaker 2: a three to five?
Speaker 4: I take three to five?
Speaker 5: And how long are your coaching? Is it like months?
Speaker 5: Is it it's every month?
Speaker 4: For we just go so's it's it's an hour, an
Speaker 4: hour to an hour and twenty minutes every single month forever.
Speaker 4: So I've had my girls now for several years, and
Speaker 4: that's it. Like it's just a very small group. I
Speaker 4: love that I'm different.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be available to everybody.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 4: I want to save my energy, and I.
Speaker 6: Resonate with a certain discriminative awareness.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just stand. I just I'm not for everybody,
Speaker 4: and I understand that. So I'm just not as widely
Speaker 4: availab bull as people would want me to be. But
Speaker 4: that's because I don't fucking want to be where I want.
Speaker 6: So I don't want to be You're healthy, I'm healthy.
Speaker 5: Well, thank you for sharing your time, your thoughts, your
Speaker 5: energy here in the space. I appreciate your time. I
Speaker 5: appreciate your mind. Thank you, and I think the people
Speaker 5: here do as well. In our audience really really resonated
Speaker 5: with our last with our last episode together. So if
Speaker 5: you haven't listened to that episode, make sure you go
Speaker 5: check out the Woman who Slaps Back one.
Speaker 4: That was so good. You guys, you do two episodes
Speaker 4: this time.
Speaker 5: Enough, Yeah, that's going to be a two parter. So
Speaker 5: if you've gotten this far, congratulations, it's hard too.
Speaker 2: You know where to find us on all podcast platforms.
Speaker 5: Good Mom's Bad Choices, Like Mela said, join us at
Speaker 5: the Good Vibe Retreat. You can find me at watch
Speaker 5: Erica on Instagram or at watch Erica Nicole on TikTok.
Speaker 2: You can find Mela.
Speaker 6: At mela Underscore map.
Speaker 2: Make sure you follow our podcast studio here in La.
Speaker 2: If you have a podcast, you.
Speaker 5: Want it recorded, you want then you just want to
Speaker 5: sit down and talk and walk away. Make sure you
Speaker 5: check out good dot good Media on Instagram or good
Speaker 5: Good Productions dot com.
Speaker 2: Anyway, We'll see you next week. We love you, hey please?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell? I went
Speaker 4: through a drought? That's until I find out well may
Speaker 4: might have been known earth. I used to be broken
Speaker 4: till now I got the blues ins and like Beyonce
Speaker 4: Jasell throat shot or popping his car wearing our voices
Speaker 4: Patriarch and catch it in the box to it's fois.
Speaker 4: Women put the pi and powers, So what's pointless? They
Speaker 4: want me to be good? So I made bad choices.
Speaker 4: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Speaker 4: Bitters in on put cannabis in their bath, bon walk
Speaker 4: in bossas cap and I blew his cat boss hot Dog.
Speaker 4: Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no
Speaker 4: waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent
Speaker 4: the lumber when to it is like a water Someone
Speaker 4: where you're renting winter resential will when the summertime. I
Speaker 4: do what doll They know when that needs a running
Speaker 4: by