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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space, being a.

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Speaker 2: Black woman is stressful. Suppressing our need leads to stress

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Speaker 2: in our box, Suppressing our voice leads to stress in

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Speaker 2: the body. We have all of these statistics, but in

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Speaker 2: the years that I've been doing that, I look back

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Speaker 2: at this and I'm like, why is this happening? And

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Speaker 2: I think that the takeaway here is that we are

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Speaker 2: stressed and we have to find ways to release that

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Speaker 2: stress and not be stressed.

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Speaker 3: Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just

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Speaker 3: doesn't get you? Well, we do.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 3: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

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Speaker 3: women to just b Before.

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Speaker 1: We dive in, make sure you hit that follow button

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Speaker 1: and leave us a quick five star review. Lady, we

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Speaker 1: are black founded and black owned, and your support will

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Speaker 1: help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 3: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 4: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 4: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 4: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 4: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 4: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 4: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 4: forward for word to hearing from.

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Speaker 1: You, lady. If you had a previous unpleasant experience or

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Speaker 1: relationship that caused you to be hesitant about intimacy, stay tuned.

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Speaker 1: If you recently started having sex after a long hiatus

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Speaker 1: and you've noticed some changes in your pleasure, this episode

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Speaker 1: is just for you. Today, we're excited to welcome doctor

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Speaker 1: Janet Williams to the show. Doctor Janet Williams, MD is

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Speaker 1: a licensed physician and surgeon practicing in Los Angeles, California.

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Speaker 1: She's also a Board certified specialist in obstetrics and gynecology,

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Speaker 1: a member of the International Society for the Study of

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Speaker 1: Women's Sexual Health, and a member of the Menopause Society.

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Speaker 1: She's been helping women find solutions to their reproductive and

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Speaker 1: sexual health concerns since two thousand and one. In addition

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Speaker 1: to her medical practice, she is an intimate life coach,

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Speaker 1: a hypnotherapist, and the creator of the Confident Pleasure Course,

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Speaker 1: a coaching and hypnosis experience that helps women master their

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Speaker 1: intimate health, find pleasure and passion in their body so

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Speaker 1: they can make a confident sexual comeback. Doctor Williams is

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Speaker 1: also the author of the Amazon number one best selling

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Speaker 1: book Why Don't I Like Sex Anymore? The Grown Woman's

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Speaker 1: Guide to Getting your group back and claiming your Truth.

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Speaker 1: Doctor Janet, we are so excited to have you here.

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Speaker 1: There's so much more that we can say because your

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Speaker 1: bio is extensive, but we're gonna let the listeners hear

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Speaker 1: from you. So welcome to cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be

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Speaker 5: here with you. Guys.

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Speaker 6: Let's go yay, Okay, let's do it all right.

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Speaker 3: So our quote of today, so, doctor Janet, our quote

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Speaker 3: will sound really familiar to you because this comes from

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Speaker 3: your book. Okay, all right, My body and inner knowing

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Speaker 3: have always told me sex could be great. But for

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Speaker 3: some reason, almost everything and everyone has told me otherwise.

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Speaker 3: All right, I'm going to read that again for the

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Speaker 3: folks in the back, make sure they caught that. My

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Speaker 3: body and inner knowing have always told me sex could

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Speaker 3: be great. But for some reason, almost everything and everyone

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Speaker 3: else has told me otherwise. Oh all right. So when

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Speaker 3: you when you think about this quote and what it

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Speaker 3: means to you and what prompted you to put that

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Speaker 3: in your book, what comes up for you? Can you

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Speaker 3: give our listeners a little insight into that particular quote.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so, I think a lot of us actually have

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Speaker 2: the same sentiment. A lot of us feel this way, right,

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Speaker 2: And that's why it's so like it rings so true

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Speaker 2: because you're like, wait a second, that's me right. So,

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Speaker 2: I think one of the things that happens just being

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Speaker 2: in the society that we are in, living as black

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Speaker 2: women living in the US, especially with what's going on

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Speaker 2: right now, we are separated from our internal like voice,

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Speaker 2: the inner child, the person that we're we come here with,

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Speaker 2: and such sensuality is actually a part of our nature

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Speaker 2: and we're separated from it, you know, by you know, religion,

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Speaker 2: by what we learn in school, by what we have

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Speaker 2: with these men against women wars.

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Speaker 5: Of you know, all of that stuff.

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Speaker 2: That's going on, and so we through the course of time,

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Speaker 2: begin to like dampen our voice, We begin to dampen

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Speaker 2: what our internal you know, knowing is telling us, and

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Speaker 2: we end up in a place where we're disconnected from

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Speaker 2: our sensuality. And that's that's really what I'm here to

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Speaker 2: try to get us all.

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Speaker 5: To get back.

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Speaker 1: That was so good, And I have more questions I

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Speaker 1: want to ask you, but I'm going to stay focused.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to talk Let's talk about your origin story first, yes,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll jump into all the questions we have.

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Speaker 1: So can you tell us, doctor Janet, what is your

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Speaker 1: origin story? How did you become the doctor Janet Williams

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Speaker 1: we see today?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well, it's again, it's all related.

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Speaker 2: And it's interesting because my upbringing was the best thing

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Speaker 2: that happened to me in my life, right, but it

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Speaker 2: was also the worst thing for my sexual health, wellness

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Speaker 2: and sensuality.

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Speaker 5: And I'll explain.

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Speaker 2: I actually grew up in the Altadena Pasadena area in

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles, California. You guys might be familiar because of

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Speaker 2: the recent wildfires. Altadena is in the center of the

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Speaker 2: Eaton Canyon fire, and so that area is known for

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Speaker 2: or maybe not that well known until more recently for

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Speaker 2: being a predominantly or I won't say predominantly, but there

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Speaker 2: was a good number of African American people in that community.

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Speaker 2: And that's the community I grew up in, belonged in

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Speaker 2: the Altadena. I grew up in the church in Altadena,

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Speaker 2: very strong community. And what I was around and what

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Speaker 2: I saw was black excellence, you know.

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Speaker 5: As we would describe it, which.

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Speaker 2: Was you know, black doctors, lawyers, you know, engineers, scientists,

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Speaker 2: teacher like.

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Speaker 5: Those were the people that I looked up.

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Speaker 2: To and learned from and had no limitation on what

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Speaker 2: was possible at least, you know, from a career standpoint,

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Speaker 2: and I, you know, grew up with that knowledge. My

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Speaker 2: dad is a surgeon, my mom is a registered nurse. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my dad was a was the head of the trauma

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Speaker 2: surgery department in Pasadena Huntington Memorial Hospitals years for years,

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Speaker 2: and so my mindset is one that you know, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's something that we can do.

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Speaker 5: So it wasn't a that wasn't an issue.

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Speaker 2: I grew up with the idea that you have to

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Speaker 2: be work harder, you have to be disciplined, you have

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Speaker 2: to you know, do all the things. And I'm a doctor, right,

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Speaker 2: So like that mindset helped you to get there. But

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Speaker 2: what it doesn't do is it doesn't help you to

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Speaker 2: tap into your emotional self. It doesn't help you to

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Speaker 2: tap into the softer side, especially as a black woman.

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Speaker 2: You know, we have this strong black woman thing that

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Speaker 2: we do, and we're all pretty damn good at it, right,

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Speaker 2: like our boss babe together, right, but at the the

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Speaker 2: central side just is not there.

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Speaker 5: So that is my background.

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Speaker 2: A lot of discipline, a lot of hard work, a

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Speaker 2: lot of you know, be a boss black woman, you

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Speaker 2: have to be better than the rest. Like that was

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Speaker 2: the mentality that you know, got me.

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Speaker 5: To you know, my career.

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Speaker 2: I did go to an HBCU for for undergrad So

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Speaker 2: I went to Hampton University.

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Speaker 5: Okay, okay, okay, rats at you rock the little white Yeah,

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Speaker 5: the real hi. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna say, but there you go. Realize I

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Speaker 1: did it. But I know that there's like a little

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Speaker 1: Howard Hampton going on, so I'm like, I'll say that.

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Speaker 5: It's all love though.

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Speaker 2: Look I enjoyed that little rivalry.

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Speaker 5: At any rate. So I went.

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Speaker 2: I went there for undergraduate and then I went to

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Speaker 2: Saint Louis University in Missouri for medical school, and then

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Speaker 2: I've been practicing. I did my residency back here in

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles and been practicing UH since two thousand and one.

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Speaker 5: So that's the origin story.

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Speaker 3: Wow, thank you, Thank you so much for sharing light

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Speaker 3: on your origin story. And I do think that it

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Speaker 3: would be important at some point for us to come

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Speaker 3: back to talking about where you're from and how folks

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Speaker 3: can help in light of the wildfires. But we'll come

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Speaker 3: back to that towards the end. So thinking about where

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Speaker 3: you're from, your educational background, and what you pointed out

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Speaker 3: about your upbringing, and I'd like to acknowledge that the

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Speaker 3: upbringing for most of us, right is one that kind

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Speaker 3: of shuts down.

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Speaker 6: Or puts shame.

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Speaker 3: Around acknowledging and tapping into our sensuality and sexuality. And

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Speaker 3: so what role did that play, if any, in you

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Speaker 3: deciding to pursue a career in in gynecology in women's health.

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Speaker 2: You know, I think that I wasn't aware of, you know,

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Speaker 2: the role that it played at the time that I

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Speaker 2: made that decision, and it was it was really an

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Speaker 2: interest in that area, and you know, perhaps things would

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Speaker 2: be different if I had a different upbringing, you know,

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Speaker 2: because I didn't know.

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Speaker 5: A lot about it.

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Speaker 2: And I talk about this in my book about you know,

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Speaker 2: I had an interested at a young age. I asked

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Speaker 2: my mom of like, you know, I was asking her

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Speaker 2: about where babies come from, and like how like I

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Speaker 2: kind of had some like thought in my mind, but like,

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Speaker 2: you know, she gave the answer that she gave me

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, a man has sex with a woman

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Speaker 2: and then babies coming.

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Speaker 5: And that was that was it. That was like my

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Speaker 5: education on women's health and reproductive health.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know much more than that, and so I

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Speaker 2: think I had a fascination with it and an interest

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Speaker 2: in it because you know that it's an interesting thing.

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Speaker 2: And I think that that background of not having you know,

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Speaker 2: had that explained to me probably propelled me in that

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Speaker 2: in the direction to go into it. And in medical school,

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Speaker 2: you that you go through different rotations and you have

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Speaker 2: a chance to like, do you know a rotation, a

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Speaker 2: family medicine, rotation, internal medicine, like all of these different rotations.

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Speaker 2: And I did a rotation in obstetrics and gynecology and

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Speaker 2: I was able to deliver a baby and I just

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Speaker 2: like cried it was just so beautiful, like this amazing

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Speaker 2: thing that you know, our bodies are able to do,

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Speaker 2: and like I could see the family starting, like it

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Speaker 2: was just it was just amazing. And so that's you

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Speaker 2: know what made me decide on that specialty.

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Speaker 1: That is so beautiful. Oh my goodness, so beautiful. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm thinking about as you were sharing, like

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Speaker 1: where we are in the world, right, I think this

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Speaker 1: episode is very timely based on, like, you know, just

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Speaker 1: the things going on in our country and really in

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Speaker 1: the world in general. And so what would you say

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Speaker 1: to listeners who may be feeling anxiety about their reproductive

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Speaker 1: health and care as we enter into this administration that's

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Speaker 1: hostile when it comes to like women's productive reproductive access

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Speaker 1: and care. Any advice that you would give to listeners

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Speaker 1: who are feeling that pressure and the struggle.

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Speaker 2: When I woke up the morning after the election, a

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Speaker 2: word came into my mind, like super clear was just

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Speaker 2: like boom, and the word was community. And so I

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Speaker 2: think that we need to be very intentional about building

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Speaker 2: our community. One of the you know, major risk factors

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Speaker 2: for people and their health is isolation and loneliness. And you know,

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Speaker 2: the advent of the Internet and having, you know, the

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Speaker 2: ability to digitally connect with people is fantastic.

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Speaker 5: However, we're missing.

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Speaker 2: Out on that real one on one relationships and like

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Speaker 2: meaningful connection, and so in order to regain that and

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Speaker 2: rebuild that community is going to be very important. I

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Speaker 2: think it's like super important to have friends and connections

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Speaker 2: in different age groups, you know. So I recommend to

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Speaker 2: have a friend in every decade, right, so like a

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Speaker 2: fifty year old friend if you're forty sixty seven, you know,

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Speaker 2: every every decade.

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Speaker 5: And there's so much power in that, you know.

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Speaker 2: So it's a way to connect it with our ancestors,

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Speaker 2: so to speak, like here and now, because that keeps

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Speaker 2: you from feeling alone, and it helps you to realize

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Speaker 2: that you're just You're not.

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Speaker 5: Like I said, you're not alone, and you're there are

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Speaker 5: other people like you.

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Speaker 2: You know, a lot of times we get into this

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Speaker 2: thing of like, oh, I have a best friend, and

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Speaker 2: that best friend is supposed to fulfill every need, but.

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Speaker 5: They can't write, like it's not possible.

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Speaker 2: So I think that having that community and starting to

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Speaker 2: be intentional about building that community will help.

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Speaker 5: And in terms.

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Speaker 2: Of fertility, like there's people who have the same story

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Speaker 2: that you have.

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Speaker 5: There are people who have you.

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Speaker 2: Know, needed to have an abortion, they needed to you know,

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Speaker 2: get fertility treatment. So like building that community, like you'll

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Speaker 2: be surprised that like the one person that you know

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Speaker 2: knows somebody who has what you need, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. And if we pour into those relationships just

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Speaker 2: not looking to get anything, but just to connect, right, Like,

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Speaker 2: you'll have everything that you need.

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Speaker 1: That's the best answer ever.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yes, yes, the need for community. And I think

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Speaker 3: as black people, particularly Black women, it is our that's

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Speaker 3: how from the beginning of time. That is what has

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Speaker 3: served us well is to have that connection to community.

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Speaker 3: And so doctor Janet, when you think about because you

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Speaker 3: mentioned having community particularly around certain concerns in terms of

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Speaker 3: our reproductive health, right, what are some of the statistics

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Speaker 3: that specifically related to black women that would be important

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Speaker 3: for us to be aware of because I think sometimes

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Speaker 3: when we're in these situations, we feel like we're alone.

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Speaker 3: And so what are some of the statistics that you're

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Speaker 3: aware of that would be important for us to know

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Speaker 3: in helping us recognize that we're not alone in our

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Speaker 3: reproductive and gynecological health.

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Speaker 5: Okay, statistics I think, Okay, I'll what I'll.

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Speaker 2: Say to this is that there are things that you

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Speaker 2: should be aware of, like in each stage of your reproduction. Right, So,

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Speaker 2: like the biggest thing that we are kind of concerned about,

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Speaker 2: like in terms of pregnancy, and you know, there's this

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Speaker 2: whole thing out on Black women and we're more likely

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Speaker 2: to die in that, you know, in the process of

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Speaker 2: giving birth.

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Speaker 5: So just to be very specific, there are issues with.

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Speaker 2: Something called prem That's one of the big things that

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Speaker 2: causes us to you know, have technical problems and so

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Speaker 2: in our pregnancy. So preeclampsia can cause is a disorder

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Speaker 2: in blood pressure that can cause you to have seizures

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Speaker 2: in labor or even.

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Speaker 5: Before and after you've given birth.

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Speaker 2: So preaclamsia is a big something that people should be

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Speaker 2: aware of. But I will say in general, like when

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Speaker 2: I look at the statistics with black women and you know,

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Speaker 2: and it's all kinds of things, y'all. It's like breast cancer,

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Speaker 2: We've got issue with breast cancer. We have more, we

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Speaker 2: have more of these you know issues in our pregnancy.

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Speaker 2: We have more fibroids and the heart disease. Like we've

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Speaker 2: got all of those things. But at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, the reason, my belief is the reason for

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Speaker 2: all of this is because inflammation occurs in the body

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Speaker 2: and it affects everything. It affects our blood vessels, which

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Speaker 2: can lead to blood pressure issues. It affects our immune system,

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Speaker 2: which can lead to growth of tumors. And the things

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Speaker 2: that affect your immune system and inflammation in the body

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Speaker 2: that relates to all of this is stress, right, And

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Speaker 2: so what is stressful? Racism is stressful that part say

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Speaker 2: it again for the people in the back, right, So

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Speaker 2: being a black woman is stressful. Suppressing our needs leads

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Speaker 2: to stress in our body, Like suppressing our voice leads

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Speaker 2: to stress in the body. So like we have all

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Speaker 2: of these statistics, but you know, in the years that

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Speaker 2: I've been doing that, I'd like look back at this

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, why is this happening? And I think

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Speaker 2: that the you know, the takeaway here is that we

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Speaker 2: are stressed and we have to find ways to release

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Speaker 2: that stress and not not be stressed. So, like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to scare people with statistics, but like I

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Speaker 2: think it really boils down to like being able to

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Speaker 2: take care of ourselves, being able to like find that

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Speaker 2: soft place where we're not stressed.

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Speaker 3: Anymore.

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Speaker 1: That is so much.

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Speaker 5: I don't know if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: I think so. I would say what I took from that,

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Speaker 1: Doctor Janet, is that we need to be in addition

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Speaker 1: to building community, we need to be pouring into ourselves

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Speaker 1: and figuring out what our self care plan looks like

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Speaker 1: and not just do it like once every once, like

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Speaker 1: you know, every once in a while, but like have

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Speaker 1: a system, especially under this administration, like having a regular

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Speaker 1: cadence of caring for ourselves. And I kind of wanted

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Speaker 1: to go back to something we talked about a little

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Speaker 1: bit earlier, and I believe in your on your website,

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Speaker 1: it talks about how you work with professional black women

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Speaker 1: and how there's a struggle with shame and disconnection around intimacy.

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Speaker 1: I know you talked a bit about your background, but

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Speaker 1: what would you say or why do you think that

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Speaker 1: this is the issue for professional black.

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Speaker 2: Women pectly again, it's like we're in that boss babe mode, right,

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Speaker 2: so we're like doing the thing we're like, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's like this whole hustle hustle culture where we're like

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Speaker 2: we're the bad bitch and we're like about our business,

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Speaker 2: We're about the coin in our bag.

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Speaker 5: All of that stuff.

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Speaker 2: But when you're in that that energy, like you're not

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Speaker 2: in the soft life energy, right, Like you're not in

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Speaker 2: the I'm gonna take a nap energy, which is what

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Speaker 2: we need a lot of the times. Like we just

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Speaker 2: need to lay down, Like lay down says like what's

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Speaker 2: on your to do lists? It should be a lay

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Speaker 2: down moment in there.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So you know we're we're not.

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Speaker 2: Conditioned to lay down, like we're conditioned to be like

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Speaker 2: what are you doing?

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Speaker 5: Why are you laying down?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's such. That's that's that's an important point. And

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Speaker 3: I think our our culture really really stresses the need

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Speaker 3: to be go, go, go and do do.

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Speaker 5: Do that.

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Speaker 3: On top of our identity as black women and the

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Speaker 3: racism that we experience on a daily basis. It has

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Speaker 3: a profound impact on who we are, whether we acknowledge

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Speaker 3: it or not.

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Speaker 6: And when I say a profound impact, it does it.

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Speaker 3: Like you pointed out, it does end up having an

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Speaker 3: effect on our reproductive health, our sexual health, our overall

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Speaker 3: health in general, Like in every facet of every domain

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Speaker 3: of health, it has a negative impact.

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Speaker 5: Here's the thing, Like I have observed this as well.

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Speaker 2: So you know, as you mentioned in bio Amosurgeon.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 2: So I've done hysterectomies on women, and I would have

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Speaker 2: One of the things that I've noticed is if you

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Speaker 2: have a white woman in her forties, she comes in

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Speaker 2: with fibroids or bleeding and needs a hysterectomy, and you

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Speaker 2: have the black woman, same lady in her forties needs

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Speaker 2: a hysterectomy. In my observation, I've noticed that the white

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Speaker 2: women will heal faster.

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Speaker 5: And the black women it's like.

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Speaker 2: The surgery is the first time that they've had a

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Speaker 2: moment to stop, and their body is like, oh I

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Speaker 2: need rest. Like thirty years later, like I need rest,

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Speaker 2: and it's harder for them to get back. This is

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Speaker 2: something that I've observed having taken care of, you know,

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Speaker 2: lots of women. It's a thing you guys, Oh, it

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Speaker 2: is absolutely does affect our body. It affects our you know,

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Speaker 2: ability to like get back because we're not we're not

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Speaker 2: doing it. And even in some of our self care

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Speaker 2: is sort of like it's it's like, Okay, you go

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Speaker 2: to get your nails, but it's like you have to

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Speaker 2: get your nails done, like oh, my nails are crazy,

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Speaker 2: Like I've got to go get my nails done, so

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Speaker 2: it's like it's a it's another task as opposed to

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Speaker 2: actually getting that deeply needed rest.

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Speaker 1: That's so good, don I saw your facial expression when dods.

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Speaker 6: So it's a whole Lady.

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Speaker 3: If you've been listening to the podcast for a while,

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Speaker 3: then you or at least our episodes within the last

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Speaker 3: year and a half, you know that I had a

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Speaker 3: hysterect to me and in that process, doctor Jenna, You're

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Speaker 3: absolutely right that in that process of me having that

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Speaker 3: hysterect me and being forced to take time off, I

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Speaker 3: learned so much about myself around self care that I

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Speaker 3: struggled so much with sit your ass down and do nothing.

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Speaker 3: Like I had family and friends coming to take care

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Speaker 3: of me, and I was constantly like they had to

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Speaker 3: constantly tell me, sit your ass down.

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Speaker 6: We got this, and I'm like.

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Speaker 3: But you're in my house, like I feel like I

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Speaker 3: need to be taking care of you, and they're like, no,

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Speaker 3: we're here to take care of you. Tell us what

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Speaker 3: to do. But from that couch over there, sit down.

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Speaker 3: And I think, you know, after that process and I

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Speaker 3: would and I'll also share that when I was taking

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Speaker 3: leave from work. There was a point where I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm ready to come back, and they were like, no,

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Speaker 3: you're not. And I am so grateful for working where

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Speaker 3: I do work, in the apartment that I work with,

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Speaker 3: the people that I work with, who said girl, what, No, no,

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Speaker 3: You're not ready. And so what it did was it

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Speaker 3: truly forced me to take care of myself and has

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Speaker 3: completely shifted how I go about taking care of myself.

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Speaker 3: I feel more empowered to take time off and to

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Speaker 3: make sure that I am doing the things unapologetically that

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Speaker 3: I need to do to take care of me.

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Speaker 5: I love that.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you for sharing that down. I

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Speaker 1: know many of us can relate to that. So thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for sharing because I had my own

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Speaker 1: little conviction where I was like, oh, but I wanted

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Speaker 1: to shift gears again, doctor Janet, and talk about communicating

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Speaker 1: our changing needs and desires with a partner during midlife transitions.

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Speaker 1: And so instead of just telling us like what can

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Speaker 1: we what we can do, can you like share an

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Speaker 1: example of when you actually did that, just so we

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00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,719
Speaker 1: can kind of take some notes, some notes and like

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Speaker 1: add that to our toolkit of communication if we have

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00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 1: to communicate with the partner, because that can be such

440
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: a delicate conversation, right, and people can get defensive. So

441
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: what are some of your best practices and what is

442
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: an experience when you had to do that?

443
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 5: Well, okay, so let's get real up in here.

444
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: One of the things that happens often, you know, starting

445
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,719
Speaker 2: around age thirty five, there are some shifts that occur

446
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 2: in estrogen in our body. And estrogen is so important

447
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 2: for so many different things in our bodies, but one

448
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 2: thing in particular is for vaginal health and the vaginal

449
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: moisture and lubrication, and so a lot of women will

450
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: have a change in the way that the things feel

451
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 2: in their vagina and the baba, and so that affects

452
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 2: the way sex feels, and it sometimes can be pain

453
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 2: or uncomfortable, and sometimes people don't even realize why they

454
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: aren't enjoying sex anymore. But that may be one of

455
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 2: the reasons why, right, because things are a little more

456
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 2: dry and you're not getting as lubricated, and so your

457
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: partner might think like, oh, why is she you know,

458
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: not as wet, you know, because like that's the thing

459
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: that people think is like under our.

460
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 5: Control, and it not.

461
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your arousal.

462
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: Like you can be aroused and just not be making

463
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 2: the same type of lubrication. And we see that a

464
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 2: lot of times with estrogen going down. And so that's

465
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 2: something that you need to be aware of in your

466
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 2: own body so that you can number one, address it

467
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 2: and then communicate that with your partner. Right, So that

468
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 2: would be one example where you can say, something different

469
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: is going on here and there's treatment for it, you know.

470
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 5: So that's that's the thing.

471
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: But being able to communicate that with your partner and saying, hey,

472
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 2: you know, like there's some things that are different in

473
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 2: my body that I just want you to be aware of.

474
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 5: I still am very attracted to you.

475
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: I still you know, get the little tingling feeling, but

476
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: my body is not like reacting in the same way,

477
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 2: and so that may be why things feel different. So

478
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 2: I talk to my doctor and you know, on this

479
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 2: treatment or we can use this lubrication, you know. So

480
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 2: those are some ways that you can bring it up.

481
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: It really can be very simple and not make it

482
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: into a whole thing. You know, when people have that

483
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 2: understanding of your body does change, right, that can be

484
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: very helpful.

485
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: Thank you for that.

486
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 3: Yes, and so so speaking of that and then the

487
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 3: changes that our bodies go through and how it impact

488
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 3: it can impact our sex life when so okay, So

489
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 3: you know I mentioned having a hysterectomy, but women are

490
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: going may go through menopause or right after giving birth

491
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: or any other type of.

492
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 6: Gynecological proceeds or change.

493
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:11,239
Speaker 3: Right, How does how do those things like menopause, hysterectomy, births, abortion, Like,

494
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 3: how do those things impact our sexual health?

495
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 5: Do you mean like our libido or what do you

496
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 5: mean exactly?

497
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 6: All of it? All of it?

498
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: Like what are the changes that may that we may

499
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: need to pay attention to?

500
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 5: So that's the thing.

501
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 2: The interesting thing about sex is that it is what

502
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 2: we call biopsychosocial, right, So it is not just your biology.

503
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: So it's not just the vaginal lubrication or the hormones

504
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 2: that are floating in your body, or the physical changes

505
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 2: having had a hysterectomy or your cycles. It's not just

506
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: a you know, biologic thing. There's psychological factors that are involved. Right,

507
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: So where's your head at? Like is your inner child healed?

508
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 5: Right?

509
00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: Like?

510
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 5: It's like all of it relates what's your level of stress?

511
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 5: You know?

512
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: All of these things can affect our libido, All of

513
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: these things can affect the environment, because for women in particular,

514
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 2: the environment is very important, Like what is the smell

515
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:15,479
Speaker 2: going on?

516
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 5: Is your house organized? You feel at peace in your space?

517
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 2: So all of that it all plays in like it's

518
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 2: all related, right, and then the social aspect of it

519
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: comes down to again like what is the like we're

520
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 2: living in patriarchy, Like what.

521
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 5: Does society say about sex?

522
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: Like what does society say about a woman who is

523
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: in menopause?

524
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 5: Should she be having sex?

525
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: Like if you have that whole environment, like social environment

526
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 2: around you and you are thinking that you know, this

527
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: is not okay, then that's going to affect you.

528
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: Right.

529
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 2: So again, here's where a community comes in, where you

530
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 2: need to have a group of like minded people who

531
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 2: are thinking in the same way as you. That will help,

532
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 2: as crazy as it seems, will help your sex life.

533
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: Right.

534
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: That's such a good point because sometimes you talk to

535
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: like you said, when you have that community, you may

536
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: talk to a friend about this thing you're going through

537
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh my gosh, it's not just me,

538
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: Like we can you know, converse about that commonality? Doctor Jannet,

539
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: what would you say, are three actionable tips that a

540
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: woman can take if she feels disconnected from her body

541
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: or intimacy, Like, are there three things that she can

542
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: do to kind of help with that?

543
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 2: Okay, So the first thing that I would do is

544
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 2: take out a mirror. Take out a mirror and look

545
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: down there, see what's going on, because.

546
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 5: Some people have never looked at their volvus, like never.

547
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 2: They don't know what's going on there, Like there's some

548
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 2: stuff going on down there. They don't know where the

549
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 2: you know, p is coming from and where your parents

550
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 2: coming from. Just some basics, like let's get some anatomy,

551
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 2: you know, talk to your doctor if you you know,

552
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: need some help guide it, you know, download my book

553
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 2: and you can get a little bit more information about it.

554
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: Just kind of take stock in your body right to

555
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: see what's going on. I also in my book have

556
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: a meditation in there. It's called the Divine Ember Meditation,

557
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 2: and so you can activate you can read it and

558
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 2: on in the book and kind of go through that.

559
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: It's a way to connect your mind to your body.

560
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 2: And it's like a body scan. Basically you're going through

561
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 2: your you know, all your head down through your body

562
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 2: through your chest and to your evolva, and like just

563
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: having awareness connects you to your body. A lot of

564
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 2: times people do not, like we will jump on the

565
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: peloton and ride for forty five minutes, right like, well,

566
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 2: we'll get outside and we'll go to the gym and

567
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 2: we'll or whatever, you know, we'll do all these things physically,

568
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 2: but we're not connecting to our bodies like thinking about it,

569
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 2: like focusing on it. And that's what that type of

570
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: meditation can do. And then again I will just come

571
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 2: on back to community again. So have the conversation, open

572
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: the conversation. If you don't have anyone that in your

573
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: circle that you can talk to, you know, join some

574
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 2: forums like sign up for my newsletter, like get in,

575
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 2: get in and connect with people who are talking about

576
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 2: this so that you can open the dialogue. So those

577
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 2: are some three like pretty simple steps that you can

578
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 2: begin to take.

579
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 6: Love that. Thank you so much, doctor Janet, and so.

580
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 3: Talk to us about how you the experiences that you

581
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 3: had personally that led.

582
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 5: You to.

583
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: Shift or continue to be a surgeon, but to also

584
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 3: add in these other healing modalities, like what happened for

585
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 3: you that's that caused you to say you know what

586
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 3: I need to add a little bit more to my

587
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 3: professional toolbox and what I'm able to help patients with.

588
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: So, yeah, in my forties, I went through some infertility

589
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: treatments that were devastating because they were not successful. So

590
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 2: but in the process of the infertility treatments, I was,

591
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: you know, still working full time. Like you guys know,

592
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: working full time. I'm taking twenty four hour shifts. I'm

593
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: on call in the call room it's you know, midnight,

594
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 2: and I'm injecting myself with the fertility hormones then going

595
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: to do a delivery and down in the emergency room.

596
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 5: Like it was.

597
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 2: Crazy, y'all, Like, nope, it's no wonder it didn't work. Right,

598
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: It's no wonder it didn't work because I was not

599
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,280
Speaker 2: taking care of myself. I was just doing the most

600
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 2: like trying to do it all at the same time.

601
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 5: And you know, so it was a several months process.

602
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: I went through two rounds of in vitro fertilization, and

603
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 2: that's basically where you give yourself, you know, injections and

604
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 2: medications so that you can produce eggs, and then you

605
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 2: mix your partner's sperm and then they you know, make

606
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 2: the eggs into an embryo like in a peatrie dish.

607
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 5: So to speak.

608
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 2: And then you know, I went through that process several times.

609
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 2: So that's a couple that's two surgeries for me, multiple ultrasounds, injections,

610
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 2: medications like hormones all over the place.

611
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 5: So I did all of that, and then I.

612
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 2: Got to the end where they you know, evaluated the embryos.

613
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: So there were like five embryos and they did an

614
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 2: you know, genetic evaluation on and none of them were

615
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: compatible with life. And so all of that that I

616
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 2: went through, I wasn't going to have a baby after

617
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: all of that. So devastating, like you know, horribly devastating,

618
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 2: and it just like it killed and shot my libido

619
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 2: like it was done, you know, and I was like grieving,

620
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 2: and I was looking for a therapist to like help

621
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 2: me through it or somebody to help me through it.

622
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: And I pieced together some things, right, but there wasn't

623
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:07,839
Speaker 2: anyone that was like this person understands exactly, you know,

624
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: what it is I'm dealing with.

625
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 5: So like I had a therapist over here for.

626
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,879
Speaker 2: This, and then I you know, did some hypnosis audios

627
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 2: over here and meditations and like a bunch of different things,

628
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 2: some yoga.

629
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 5: Like it was a whole thing, and.

630
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 2: So that's kind of how I, you know, got through

631
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: everything I did. It did work right, But that's what

632
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 2: caused me to make the shift because I was kind

633
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 2: of looking for somebody who was a little older, who

634
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,439
Speaker 2: you know, had kind of been through the same thing

635
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: or some parts of it, and I couldn't find that,

636
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,320
Speaker 2: and so I wanted to be that for black women,

637
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 2: you know, to be like, hey, listen, I get it right.

638
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 5: And it may not be in vitro fertilization.

639
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 2: Failure or you know, it may not be that, but

640
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,959
Speaker 2: there's this there's a piece as black women that were

641
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: we can't find, you know, easily. That is that was

642
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 2: the reason for the shift. You know, it's like having

643
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 2: been that type I don't want to say type A,

644
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: but kind of type A like high strong, you know, achieving.

645
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm like just thinking back at the fact that I

646
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 2: was like injecting myself in the call room instead of

647
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: maybe taking a couple of weeks off. Yeah, I had

648
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 2: done that probably, Yeah, But so that was the reason

649
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 2: for the shift.

650
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 5: Is that experience that I had for myself.

651
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing doctor Jennet, we really

652
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: appreciate you and we're just so grateful for the work

653
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: that you're doing because you saw a void, there was

654
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: something that was missing you like, you know what, I'm

655
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: going to go feel this and be that for someone else.

656
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 1: So we're just so appreciative of all the work that

657
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: you're doing, and we love for you to just tell

658
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: us about good Groove dot com and what excites you

659
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: most about the work that you're doing on goodgroup dot

660
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: com as an intimate life coach and hypnotherapist.

661
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: Well, the thing that's the most exciting for me is that.

662
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: But with the hypnotherapy, it's almost like a fast track.

663
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 2: You know, like sometimes when we think about therapy and

664
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: you know, it's like, oh, I got to drag up

665
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 2: all that stuff. You know, you don't want to go

666
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: back and revisit the trouma. Like I was in therapy

667
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 2: for like a good two years and I was just

668
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 2: like crying.

669
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 5: I was crying for like eighty percent of it.

670
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 2: Like I would just go there and I cry and

671
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 2: we needed to cry, like I needed to get it out,

672
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 2: like it needed to.

673
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 5: You know. But I wanted something that could.

674
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 2: Move me, Like I wanted to move on, I wanted

675
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 2: to like reach the goals and so I for me,

676
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 2: that's what hypnotherapy did.

677
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 5: I was able to like like.

678
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 2: Be okay with the emotions and not stuck in them.

679
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 2: And I think that's really important for healing, is to

680
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: be to be able to like have the emotions, but

681
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 2: not be burdened by them and not have them have

682
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 2: that negative effect on our chemt which it can. You know,

683
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 2: if every time you go back to the trauma, like

684
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 2: you're reliving the trauma. We don't need to relive the trauma.

685
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: We need to acknowledge it and be able to like

686
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 2: you know, understand it and then move forward. And I

687
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: think that's one of the great things that hypnosis can do.

688
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,479
Speaker 2: It will allow you to get into that inner child

689
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 2: and heal and help her to heal and then take

690
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: her with you to be the to live the person

691
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 2: that you want to be. And that's that's the beauty

692
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 2: of good group is getting us to that place because

693
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 2: we do we all have some healing that needs to

694
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: be you know, that needs to take place, but it

695
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: really allows you to move forward and in a peaceful way.

696
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: Like I feel so much more at balance and peaceful

697
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 2: having gone through that process.

698
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 3: So can you tell us because I know so as

699
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 3: a as a psychologist, Like, I'm aware of the different

700
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: modalities and fully acknowledge that there are a lot of

701
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 3: different ways to get to the healing that we all need.

702
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 3: But I also know that there are a lot of

703
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 3: misconceptions out there about hypnosis and hypnotherapy, right, And so how,

704
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:28,720
Speaker 3: particularly for black women in our reproductive and sexual health,

705
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 3: how is hypnosis helpful for us? And like, what are

706
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 3: some of the myths that need to be dispelled for

707
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 3: someone who may be unsure but thinking, okay, maybe I

708
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 3: could try it, what are some of the myths that

709
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 3: need to be dispelled?

710
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, hypnosis is actually a natural process, right, So it's

711
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 2: basically a state of focused awareness, right, So we're not

712
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: doing anything.

713
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 5: It is not mind control.

714
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 2: So you're not coming in here and I'm going like

715
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,760
Speaker 2: you know, you know, like get out, Like you remember

716
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: the scene from get Out and she's got the t thing,

717
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 2: you know.

718
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 5: Falled out.

719
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 2: You know, it's it's not that. It's actually a collaborative process.

720
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 2: So you have to be on board, you know, in

721
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 2: order to enter into a state of hypnosis. And I'll

722
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 2: give you example some ways that hypnosis can happen naturally.

723
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 2: So if you've ever been driving on the highway and

724
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 2: you know, or you get in your car and you're

725
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: on your way to work or wherever, and then suddenly.

726
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 5: You're at work, right, Yes, that's.

727
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 2: You were in a state of hypnosis, like your your

728
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 2: mind was somewhere else.

729
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 5: Maybe you're daydreaming. That is hypnosis.

730
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: You're you're relaxed, and you're you're you're in a state

731
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: of focused awareness. That's one example reading getting engrossed in

732
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: a book, so like you're so involved in the book,

733
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: like you're you don't really hear what's going on outside,

734
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: Like there might be a dog barking outside, but you

735
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 2: don't hear the dog because you're reading the book and

736
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,760
Speaker 2: involved in the story. Same thing with watching a movie,

737
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 2: Like you might be sitting on the couch watching a movie.

738
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: Your partner comes by and says, hey, babe, do we

739
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 2: have any you know, ice cream or whatever, and you

740
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: don't hear him say I we have do we have

741
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 2: ice cream? Because you're watching this Netflix movie. That is

742
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 2: a state of hypnosis. And so when we use hypnosis

743
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 2: and clinical hypnosis, we use that to get you to

744
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 2: that state. And when you're in that state, you're in

745
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 2: your subconscious You're in the subconscious mind.

746
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,479
Speaker 5: And a subconscious mind is.

747
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: Where all of our behaviors stem from, where all of

748
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 2: our memories are stored, where our beliefs about ourselves.

749
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 5: And that's the big thing, what we believe.

750
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 2: About ourselves is stored in the subconscious mind, and that

751
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 2: is the thing that's going to drive you to, you know,

752
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 2: behave in whatever way that you behave. So if you

753
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: believe in your mind that once you're fifty years old

754
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 2: and you're in menopause, you can't you're not supposed to

755
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 2: be having sex anymore, or you're not gonna want to

756
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: have sex anymore. Right, if you believe if somebody told

757
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: you when you were six years old that you know,

758
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: people who have sex are shameful and dirty, I'm not

759
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: shameful and dirty.

760
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 5: I'm not doing that.

761
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 4: Right.

762
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 2: If you had a traumatic experience, you know that told

763
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: you you're a bad person, you deserve X, Y, and Z,

764
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 2: that's going to affect your sexual experience now. And so

765
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: with hypnosis, it's a very powerful tool to be able

766
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 2: to go into the subconscious mind and re retrain it

767
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 2: and redirect it, so to speak, and get rid of

768
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 2: those limiting beliefs that are holding us up. And what

769
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 2: I found with the clients that I work with is

770
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 2: that once we sweep away those like what I call

771
00:43:54,160 --> 00:44:01,439
Speaker 2: intimacy congestion, When we sweep away that intimacy congestion, we're

772
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 2: flying in all all areas of life. So it's you

773
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 2: know it is. That's why I think it's so exciting,

774
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 2: because it's like we can get rid of those negative

775
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 2: beliefs that are holding us.

776
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 5: Back in one area. Well, what I find is.

777
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: That it actually opens up a lot of other areas too,

778
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 2: and so that those are the things that really help

779
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 2: and make a difference. I think some of the major

780
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,879
Speaker 2: misconceptions and myths about hypnosis.

781
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: I love the way you broke that down and make

782
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: it made it so much more approachable. It's not like

783
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 1: they have what they used to have, the little clock,

784
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: the little clock, and we get it in front of you.

785
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: It's like, oh we you know, we get hypnotized sometimes

786
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: throughout the day. So I love that you the way

787
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: that you broke that down, Doctor Jennet. This conversation has

788
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: been so insightful, so fun. We appreciate your energy. Again,

789
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: we appreciate the work that you're doing in the world

790
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 1: and just having black excellence and black representation like you

791
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: is so inspiring. So we want to know is there

792
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: anything that we didn't cover today that you really want

793
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: to discuss before we close out officially?

794
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 5: No, I mean, I think the conversation just needs to continue.

795
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,959
Speaker 2: I mean, there's so much that well we can't jam

796
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 2: it all into forty five minutes, right, but you know,

797
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 2: just to continue to have the conversations and you know,

798
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,760
Speaker 2: listen to your body and start learning about your body

799
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 2: because it's amazing y'all the things that they can do. Okay, Okay,

800
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 2: I mean I can talk about like the different types

801
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 2: of orgasm and the possibilities there.

802
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: So oh, I hear parts two coming on. I hear

803
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: part two, so you may have that part too. We

804
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,320
Speaker 1: want to hear about those orgasms. But you know, circling

805
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 1: back to what we were talking about earlier that Don

806
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 1: brought up, are there any volunteer opportunities in your area,

807
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: in the area where the fires were that people can

808
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: you know, get out and help or is there any

809
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 1: way that you recommend to support the church that.

810
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 2: I grew up in has I don't know if we

811
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 2: can maybe add it to the show notes or something

812
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 2: that there is a link in what do you call

813
00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:58,800
Speaker 2: it a barcode?

814
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 5: What are those? Oh QR code?

815
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, has like a link to the church that I

816
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 2: grew up in in the community work that they're doing.

817
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 2: So yes, what's the church's name, by the way, Seventh

818
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: day Adventist.

819
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: Perfect. I'm just looking it up now, so we can

820
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: add that to the show notes. Thank you so much

821
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 1: for that, doctor Janet. And yes, we love to let

822
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: our listeners know where they can find you.

823
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, so those are some things that we

824
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 2: can also include in the show notes. But on Instagram

825
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 2: it's good Groove co So at good Groove co and

826
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: that is also the handle for Facebook is at good

827
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 2: Groove co. There's a YouTube channel that's probably the best

828
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 2: place to find all the juicy stuff. And that's also

829
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 2: a good group co. And you can go to the

830
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:51,399
Speaker 2: Good Groove Coach to find out more about working with

831
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 2: me one on one. Good groove Coach dot com. I

832
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 2: think you guys have that in the show notes is

833
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:56,919
Speaker 2: available as well.

834
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 5: So that's it.

835
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much, doctor Janet. And it sounds

836
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 3: like we may be having a part too, because again

837
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 3: we like to talk about sex, and we like to

838
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 3: talk about what it means for women to have orgasms

839
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: and enjoy orgasms.

840
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 5: Let's get it right. Thank you, lady. Thank you.

841
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 1: If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

842
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,239
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854
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Speaker 3: Thanks for tuning into cultivating her Space. Remember that while

855
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 3: this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's

856
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 3: not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you

857
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 3: know need support, check out resources like therapy for Black Girls,

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863
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Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me. I am

864
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 1: the architect of my destiny, shaping every moment with purpose

865
00:48:55,920 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: and passion. Keep thriving, lady, and tune in next for

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