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Speaker 1: Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. Merry Christmas, you guys, Happy Holidays. This is

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Speaker 1: ten takes and we give them in ten minutes.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 1: We do it in the twelfth month, the twenty fifth day,

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Speaker 1: wonderful time of year. And guess what I'm gonna do.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to give you ten Christmas takes. You think

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Speaker 1: I can't do it, you think I won't do it.

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Speaker 1: It's dead wrong, my friends. Ten Christmas Takes in ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: Let's start the clock. Take number one.

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Speaker 2: Christmas Eve is better than Christmas. It is. They're both great,

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Speaker 2: they're both wonderful. Christmas Eve is so special.

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Speaker 1: Christmas Eve is when you're going up the roller coaster,

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Speaker 1: you know, when you're going up the giant drop before

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Speaker 1: you go down. You're going up and go, and you

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Speaker 1: got the butterflies in your stomach, and there's magic and

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Speaker 1: you can hire and hire, and you're tapping your friends

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Speaker 1: knee and you're.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's gonna be so great. That's Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 2: Christmas Day is fantastic and it's the payoff.

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Speaker 1: But there's almost this melancholy feel that happens Christmas afternoon

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Speaker 1: Christmas evening, when you're like, wow, it's over. Not only

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Speaker 1: is it over, it's three hundred and sixty five days away,

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Speaker 1: three and sixty five days of wait Christmas Eve. Get

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Speaker 1: a little little candy, little drink, little movie. You're like,

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Speaker 1: this is gonna be the greatest night ever. And when

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Speaker 1: you're a kid, Oh my god, Christmas Eve, there's gonna

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Speaker 1: be an actual set of reindeer on top of my

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Speaker 1: house tonight. It's really gonna happen. He's gonna come down

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Speaker 1: that chimney. It's so great. The presents are awesome. On Christmas,

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Speaker 1: the idea that Sanna is actually going to come to

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Speaker 1: your home on Christmas Eve. It's the best best holiday

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Speaker 1: of the year, not Christmas. Christmas Eve. Take number two.

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Speaker 1: Agnog is delicious. Eggnog is delicious. Let me say it

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Speaker 1: one more time. Eggnog is delicious. I think we've arrived

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Speaker 1: at this place. I talked about this back on Halloween,

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Speaker 1: where there's a polarizing treats for each of the year

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Speaker 1: ending holidays. For Halloween, you got candy corn. People want

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Speaker 1: to draw swords over candy corn. For Thanksgiving, you got cranberry.

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Speaker 1: Same deal for Christmas, we got eggnog, And here's my

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Speaker 1: take on egnog.

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Speaker 2: I like it.

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Speaker 1: I drink it once a year on Christmas Eve, Sprinkle

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Speaker 1: little nutmeg on top. Actually take it without booze, which

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Speaker 1: maybe people seen is crazy or lame. I don't need

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Speaker 1: the booze in it. There's plenty of other booze going

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Speaker 1: into my system. I like it without the booze. But

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Speaker 1: here's my take on eggnogg. So much of the reason

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Speaker 1: that people aren't into it or are disgusted by it

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Speaker 1: is bad branding. Eggnog needs the rebrand. Eggnog is two

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Speaker 1: disgusting words when it comes to a drink. I don't

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Speaker 1: really want eggs in might drink just on principle. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know what hell nog means. I never see

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Speaker 1: that word in any other context. I don't know n og.

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Speaker 1: Where does it come from? Is it short for something?

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Speaker 2: Eggnog?

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Speaker 1: Six letters, three of them are g's, all of them

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Speaker 1: are disgusting together. You gotta rebrand, and I think of

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Speaker 1: something like at another holiday, McDonald's has the Shamrock shake.

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Speaker 2: Now, that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's that old Ray Kroc magic, the Santa Claus of

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Speaker 1: fast food. Shamrock Shake in don't even really know what

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Speaker 1: it is. No, it's green. Think I kind of want

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Speaker 1: it because it's got a great brand. I think Eggnog

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Speaker 1: should rebrand as a Santa Shake. Would you like a

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Speaker 1: Santa Shake with a litle nuggg Yes? Hell yeah, dude,

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Speaker 1: you put a cinnamon stick into Yes, I can. Would

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Speaker 1: you like an eggnog? No, that's disgusting, all right? But

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Speaker 1: what if I told you it was a Santa Shake?

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Speaker 1: You know what, screw it, it's Christmas Eve. I think

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Speaker 1: I would like a Santa Shake. And if you want

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Speaker 1: to put some brandy in there, I wouldn't mind. Then

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Speaker 1: it's a drunken Santa Shake.

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Speaker 2: I like it.

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Speaker 1: That's my idea new branding forreg noow, big eggnch the industry, rebrand.

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Speaker 1: Your name is disgusting, your product is delicious. Take number three.

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Speaker 1: I want to hang with Uncle Frank from Home Alone.

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Speaker 1: I know he has looked at as the number one

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Speaker 1: Christmas villain. I know he's looked at his bigger villain

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Speaker 1: in the Home Alone movies than Harry and marsh. I

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Speaker 1: used to feel that way. I saw that movie Home

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Speaker 1: Alone one when I was ten years old. Sot in

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Speaker 1: the theater my entire life. I have watched it.

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Speaker 2: Like everybody else thinks, Uncle Frank is a jerk.

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Speaker 1: He's mean, he's cruel. As you get older, you're like,

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Speaker 1: I kinda like Uncle Frank. I kind of feel where

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Speaker 1: Uncle Frank is coming from. I was watching Home Alone

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Speaker 1: two with my kids the other day. There's a part

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Speaker 1: where they're still at the very beginning and mister McAllister

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Speaker 1: says to Kevin, Kevin going and take a shower, and

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Speaker 1: kem says, I can't. Uncle Frank is in there. He says,

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Speaker 1: if I see him naked, I'll grow up never feeling

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Speaker 1: like a real man. That is so damn funny. I

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Speaker 1: laughed out loud. Imagine saying that to your nephew. Hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Frank is jerk, but also like what are his greatest sins?

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Speaker 1: He's screams at Kevin, look what you did, your little jerk.

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Speaker 1: Kevin is a little jerk. Do not watch Kevin at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of Homelone want to be like man, I

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Speaker 1: would never let my kid talk to me that way.

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Speaker 1: Frank's right, So he wants to free champagne in first class.

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Speaker 1: Who doesn't, So he wants to steal the glasses whatever.

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Speaker 1: That ticket's expensive he didn't pay for Who cares. I

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Speaker 1: just would like to have a whiskey with Frank. I

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Speaker 1: bet he's got some takes. I bet he's a sports fan.

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Speaker 1: I probably have to pay for the whiskey for him,

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Speaker 1: but I'd be more than willing to. I go opposite

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Speaker 1: as everybody on Uncle Frank. You know what, I like

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Speaker 1: him more than the other adults in that movie. Don't

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Speaker 1: get me stared on missus McAllister, who, as we know,

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Speaker 1: should lose their children. But that's been said before. You

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Speaker 1: don't like Uncle Frank. Can you even name any of

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Speaker 1: the other adults in that family? Do you know what

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Speaker 1: their names are? Uncle Frank's wife, no idea, Kevin's dad,

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Speaker 1: no idea. I don't know none of these other adults.

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Speaker 1: The only one that really makes any impression is Uncle Frank.

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Speaker 1: You know his name, you know what he stands for it.

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Speaker 1: He's a card's on the table type of guy. I

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Speaker 1: like Uncle Frank. Take number four A Wonderful Life, unwell,

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Speaker 1: unwatchable movie. Don't like it, don't care about it, didn't

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Speaker 1: watch it?

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Speaker 2: Growing up.

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Speaker 1: Respect Jimmy Stewart, Great Princeton Man, the American movie star

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Speaker 1: years and years and years ago. But I didn't watch

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Speaker 1: it growing up. I didn't do it. So by a

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Speaker 1: couple of years ago my wife are like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we should watch It's a wonderful life. It's the classic

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Speaker 1: American Christmas tale. Let's watch it. Half hour in we're like,

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Speaker 1: this is terrible. It's actually kind of morbid, a little dark.

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Speaker 1: They're a little mean to each other. I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: It's way too slow. I will never watch it again.

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Speaker 1: Unwatchable movie. If he didn't grow up with it, it's

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Speaker 1: just kind of grandfathered in. Unwatchable movie. Take number five.

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Speaker 1: If you're a Christmas tree type of a fella or lady,

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Speaker 1: if you've never been able to do the thing where

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Speaker 1: you cut down your own Christmas tree, if you.

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Speaker 2: Can try it. We did it. We really liked it.

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Speaker 2: There's this little farm you go to.

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Speaker 1: It's like an hour drive away through the majestic majesty

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Speaker 1: of the wintery countryside. And sure you have to pay

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Speaker 1: a little more, but those Christmas tree lots you have

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Speaker 1: to pay so much more anyway, and you just point

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Speaker 1: it one and then a guy brings it to you.

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Speaker 1: You go to these places, you have a little hot chocolate,

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Speaker 1: you bundle up, they give you a saw and the

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Speaker 1: satisfacts and you get and I listen, when you get

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Speaker 1: down on your hands and knees in the disgusting, cold,

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Speaker 1: muddy ground and start trying to saw down a tree.

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Speaker 2: It's hard. You are going to injure yourself. You are

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Speaker 2: going to be sore the next day. It sucks.

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Speaker 1: It's very awkward on the back and the shoulders and

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Speaker 1: the knees. However, when you finally get through and you

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Speaker 1: feel that tree go down, and you and your kids

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Speaker 1: or whoever you're with actually gets the yelled timber like

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Speaker 1: you're a lumberjack, very satisfying. That's when Christmas starts for us.

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Speaker 1: If you can do it, do it take number six.

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Speaker 1: I only have three and a half minutes left. I

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Speaker 1: feel for you. Elves on a shelf folks, I've never

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Speaker 1: done that either. We don't do the elves on a shell,

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Speaker 1: but every couple I know who does the elves on

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Speaker 1: a shelves is miserable.

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Speaker 2: No one's like. We love it. We look forward to

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Speaker 2: it every day. It is a really special part of

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Speaker 2: our holiday. We will always do it.

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Speaker 1: There's always these these stories like they've been through numb

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Speaker 1: or something like.

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Speaker 2: They just hate it, so don't start it. We have

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Speaker 2: an elves presence in our family.

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Speaker 1: Our elves magically visit while the kids are away, when

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Speaker 1: they're at school, they're in the activity, and they'll come

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Speaker 1: back to their room and their window is wide open

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Speaker 1: and it's all cold, and there's a note and a

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Speaker 1: little sort of a gift from the elf, usually around

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Speaker 1: mid December, and it says, keep up the good work.

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Speaker 1: I've been watching and the ideas that the elf came

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Speaker 1: in through the window and escape and the kids lose

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Speaker 1: their mind. They almost see their pants. They're so exciting

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Speaker 1: and they never see the elves. But we're not doing

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Speaker 1: that off in the shelf stuff. I feel it for you, guys.

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Speaker 1: Take number seven Christmas music. You want some, you want

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Speaker 1: some old fashion, You want something that really hits you

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Speaker 1: in the fields. A Neil Diamond Christmas, Neil Diamond Christmas.

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Speaker 1: You know in Sweet Caroline, maybe you know forever in

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Speaker 1: blue Jeans. You haven't lived until you've heard mister Diamond

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Speaker 1: sing the Little Drummer Boy, the way he hits you

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Speaker 1: with the rub.

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Speaker 2: Pum pum pum pum.

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Speaker 1: Which is known as Automonopeia but he does it so beautifully.

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Speaker 1: I love it so much. I like Michael Boublay, I

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Speaker 1: love Kelly Clarkson. You want to turn back to clock

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Speaker 1: a little bit. Neil Diamond Christmas. There are two that

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Speaker 1: he released, and I like the first one. His version

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Speaker 1: of Rudolph the Reindeer is hilarious because Neil Diamond starts

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Speaker 1: like editorializing in the middle of it, just riffing in

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Speaker 1: the studio and he'll be like, hey, well it means

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Speaker 1: so mean to root up just because he's a little different.

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Speaker 2: It's awesome. You gotta kneel down Christmas. I listen, do

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Speaker 2: it every year. Take number eight.

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Speaker 1: I don't like the Christmas bags. They're just not the same.

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Speaker 1: By the bags, I mean the gift bags. And I know,

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Speaker 1: I think the hot thing now and my wife's usually

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Speaker 1: on this beat that it's the wrapping paper's not good

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Speaker 1: for the environment, and I get it. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to open a bag. I like a wrap gift.

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Speaker 1: I like to tear it open. I like to find

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Speaker 1: the little seam or pull it out. I like to

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Speaker 1: we'll find out where the tape is the bag. You

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Speaker 1: open it up, you pull it out. There's some perfunctory

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Speaker 1: tissue paper and then this chunky thing at the bottom

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Speaker 1: in this It's just not the same match. Plus, if

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Speaker 1: a wood burning fireplace, and I like to take the

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Speaker 1: wrapping paper and put it in the fireplace and make

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Speaker 1: a raging inferno so hot it melts the chocolate and

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Speaker 1: the stockings. That's what I like to do. Take number nine.

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Speaker 1: Gift cards are a huge win. I don't look at

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Speaker 1: the gift cards as the second class citizen of Christmas giving.

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Speaker 2: That's money. Baby.

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Speaker 1: If you're a kid and you get a gift card,

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Speaker 1: so like a game Stop or Apple or whatever. Great

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Speaker 1: you're telling me instead of picking out what I want,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take this after we're done opening presents

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Speaker 1: and go and just buy something that is exactly what

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Speaker 1: I want. Give it to me every single time our

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Speaker 1: back steakhouse. I don't care give me a gift card.

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Speaker 1: Last thirty seconds. Take number ten on Christmas. I am

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Speaker 1: so appreciative of you. This is a very special take

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Speaker 1: for Take number ten. Very appreciative of you. It's surreal

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Speaker 1: to me that there are so many options and so

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Speaker 1: many podcasts, so many podcasts. You right now you decided

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Speaker 1: you're gonna click on this one, and not only you're

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Speaker 1: gonna listen to it, you're gonna listen all the way

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Speaker 1: to the end. That is so meaningful to me, so special,

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Speaker 1: so sweet. I thank you so much. Have a very

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Speaker 1: happy holiday and Merry Christmas. Will do this again in

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Speaker 1: the new Year. I love you, guys, Thank you, See

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Speaker 1: you next time. Boo ten takes. This is a production

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Speaker 1: of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods,

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Speaker 1: go to the iHeartRadio app, go to Apple, go anywhere

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Speaker 1: you like.

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Speaker 2: It'll be there.