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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her.

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Speaker 2: Space, build your life and your career break by break,

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Speaker 2: and if you are true, have a mission in life,

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Speaker 2: have boundaries and integrity and all of that. Have a

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Speaker 2: mission in life and feed that mission. If you're true

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Speaker 2: to your mission, the universe will respond and open up

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Speaker 2: to you.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghearspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 3: women like you.

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Speaker 1: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 3: Doctor Dominique Bussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 4: black women can just be.

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Speaker 5: Hey, lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 5: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 5: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 5: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 5: That's d R D O M I n I q

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Speaker 5: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 5: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 5: forward to hearing from.

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Speaker 1: You, lady. Today.

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Speaker 6: We have a very special guest on the show. Her

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Speaker 6: bio is so impressive and I could probably spend the

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Speaker 6: entire episode talking about all the great things she's done.

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Speaker 1: So here's what we're gonna do.

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Speaker 6: I'm going to give you the condensed version, and then

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Speaker 6: you have to tune into this episode and then you

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Speaker 6: won't have to do your googles for the rest.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Tiffany D.

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Speaker 6: Cross most recently hosted The Cross Connection on MSNBC. She

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Speaker 6: is the author of Say It Louder, Black Voters, White

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Speaker 6: Narratives and Saving Our Democracy, and previously served as a

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Speaker 6: Resident Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy Schools Institute of Politics.

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Speaker 6: Tiffany also leads the podcast across generations, a plain spoken

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Speaker 6: and candid conversation with black women from different stages of life. Tiffany,

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Speaker 6: welcome to cultivating her space.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here with you, ladies. I

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Speaker 2: was just telling them before we went live that I

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Speaker 2: did not know. This is audio and video, So for

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Speaker 2: all you all who don't sign up for their page

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Speaker 2: drown account, you can see us have this conversation and

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Speaker 2: see how gorgeous these two eighties look.

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Speaker 1: Oh, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Well, we are going to jump right into the conversation

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Speaker 3: with our quote of the day, and Tiffany, our quote

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Speaker 3: of the day will sound.

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Speaker 7: Really familiar to you because these are your words.

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Speaker 3: We have been in your social media and listening to

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Speaker 3: your podcast, and here's our.

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Speaker 7: Quote of the day.

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Speaker 3: The journey to womanhood is precious and the beauty of

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Speaker 3: the bruises shapes us and our choices make us. So

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Speaker 3: I'm going to say that one more time for the

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Speaker 3: folks in the back, so you can really sit with

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Speaker 3: that wisdom. The journey to womanhood is precious and the

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Speaker 3: beauty of the bruises shapes us, and our choices make us. Oh, Tiffany,

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Speaker 3: you hear your words reflected back to you, and you think,

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Speaker 3: in particular about your podcast across generations, what comes up

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Speaker 3: for you?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, a big part of this podcast is

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Speaker 2: I think we're all, whether we know it or not,

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Speaker 2: we are all on a journey home to ourselves. And

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Speaker 2: you know, when you're going through things, it's challenging because

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Speaker 2: you know, you just you have these pains and these wounds,

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Speaker 2: and you think you can, like have a pity party

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Speaker 2: and think, oh, why this happen to me? Or why

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Speaker 2: did I not get that job? Or why didn't he

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Speaker 2: choose me? Or you know, why why don't have a

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Speaker 2: meetingbody I like? Or you just never know what the

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Speaker 2: Lord or the universe, whatever you believe. You never know

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Speaker 2: what the universe is saving you from or keeping from you.

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Speaker 2: And so I look back over my life and I

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Speaker 2: think about the bruises that I've endured and I'm still

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Speaker 2: nursing them, and I think a lot of other women are.

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Speaker 2: And so I love being in conversation and being as

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Speaker 2: open and vulnerable as I can be with an elder

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Speaker 2: and a younger, and hopefully inviting other people to be

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Speaker 2: not honest to the world, because I don't think you

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Speaker 2: owe that to the world. But honest with yourself. I'm

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Speaker 2: offering that to the world. I don't owe it to

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Speaker 2: the world, but I'm offering it to the world. And

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Speaker 2: I invite other women to bear witness to that and

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Speaker 2: to participate in the conversation and be honest with themselves

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Speaker 2: as they're on their own journey.

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Speaker 6: That was beautiful. Let me just say, I got my

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Speaker 6: notebook out already. I'm taking those already. So you see

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Speaker 6: me looking down, Tiffany, I'm over here like this because

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Speaker 6: we're already dropping gyms. Okay, so we're going to dive

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Speaker 6: more into the wisdom that you have to share.

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Speaker 1: But can you share with us your origin story?

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Speaker 6: How did you become the Tiffany Cross that has graced

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Speaker 6: our screens and who sits here today?

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Speaker 2: Wow, I didn't know this was a four hour podcast.

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Speaker 2: I mean I condensed my story. Well, I was born

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Speaker 2: in Cleveland, Ohio, and I left that an early age

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Speaker 2: and moved to Atlanta.

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Speaker 8: And you know, I have a mother.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, my father passed away when I was I think

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Speaker 2: eleven or twelve, and I left home when I was sixteen,

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Speaker 2: And I will tell you that kind of set off

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Speaker 2: my journey, and I think the common thread in my life,

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Speaker 2: rather I look this way or not, but the common

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Speaker 2: thread in my life is there was this underlying thought

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Speaker 2: that everything I had I didn't deserve, which wasn't a

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Speaker 2: lot all the time, you know. And I was just

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Speaker 2: telling this story earlier today actually that I think about

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Speaker 2: that younger person, you know, I think about that younger

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Speaker 2: person who had dreams and ideas, and I was kind

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Speaker 2: of working and searching and seeking a place in this

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Speaker 2: world and acceptance and approval in this world. And I

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Speaker 2: wish I could go back to that twelve year old,

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Speaker 2: that sixteen year old and tell.

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Speaker 8: Her that the future that awaits you will put the

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Speaker 8: dreams you have now to shame.

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Speaker 2: And that's a part of the journey home to ourselves, right,

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Speaker 2: because we start out audacious, and even you know, I

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Speaker 2: think we've assigned names to these things, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: imposter syndrome, and I don't know that it's an imposter

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Speaker 2: syndrome as much as it is as a white man

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Speaker 2: came along and told you couldn't do it, you know,

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Speaker 2: and so you believe that. And so in my life,

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Speaker 2: I was constantly disrupted in this world, and I never

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Speaker 2: really got the chance just to be not be in

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Speaker 2: terms of living and existing. But I never got the

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Speaker 2: chance to be not in relation to them and how

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Speaker 2: they see us. The closest I had the little parentheses

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Speaker 2: in life I had was my time at an HBCU.

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Speaker 2: I went to clark landa university, and that was a

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Speaker 2: time where I got to just explore and be. And

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Speaker 2: so at some point I decided to not let them

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Speaker 2: capture my imagination and for sue all the dreams I

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Speaker 2: was constantly denied in newsrooms every job I had, somehow

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Speaker 2: I was you know, my experience was trivialized, My voice

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Speaker 2: was dismissed, and I would even be embarrassed.

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Speaker 8: You know.

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Speaker 2: There were times when I was in a newsroom at CNN,

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Speaker 2: this is like twenty four years ago, and you know,

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Speaker 2: they'd be talking about some obscure policy you know that

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Speaker 2: came along in like Tiffany. You didn't know that Harry

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Speaker 2: Truman did that, you know, and I would feel small

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Speaker 2: because like maybe I didn't know that, but they know

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Speaker 2: if I asked them about you know, hey, can you

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Speaker 2: guys tell me the dichotomy and the beliefs between W. E. B.

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Speaker 8: Du Boys and Booker T.

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Speaker 2: Washington, they wouldn't be able to answer that, but this

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Speaker 2: is all American history, but somehow their history and quotes

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Speaker 2: was more important than mine. And so after so much

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Speaker 2: of that, I think we just like now, we'll get

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Speaker 2: to this later, but now and then I had to

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Speaker 2: pull from every corner of myself to dare to be,

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Speaker 2: you know, to not adapt how other people saw me

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Speaker 2: and not let them capture my imagination, but to release

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Speaker 2: my imagination.

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Speaker 8: And what if this world?

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Speaker 2: What does this world look like if I charted my

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Speaker 2: own course, What does it look like if I weren't

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Speaker 2: always filtering everything I said through their lens?

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Speaker 8: And so I set out to do that.

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Speaker 2: I you know, worked in different newsrooms, I started a

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Speaker 2: news outlet business, I worked in behind the scenes in

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Speaker 2: television for decades before I was ever in front of

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Speaker 2: the television screen. And so I, you know, landed with

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Speaker 2: my own show after decades of hard work and I

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Speaker 2: mean like eighteen hour days much you know, personal sacrifice

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Speaker 2: and just work my fingers bloody and tried, try, worked

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Speaker 2: my hardest, and landed in a space where I deserved

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Speaker 2: and belonged.

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Speaker 8: And then you can google what happened next.

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Speaker 2: But they ceremoniously canceled my show and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: I was right back in that space, like you committed

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Speaker 2: the Cardinals and you made white folks uncomfortable, and now

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Speaker 2: look where you are now. And the day my show

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Speaker 2: was canceled, Will Packer Hollywood Mogul Films grossed over billion

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Speaker 2: dollars worldwide, did Girls Trip and Night School and all

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Speaker 2: Kevin Hart movies. He emailed me and said, Will Packer

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Speaker 2: Media would love to be in business with Tiffany Cross.

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Speaker 2: And we had known each other kind of distantly and

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Speaker 2: tangentially for a while, and I hit him back and said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: are you serious. Here go about eight treatments. Let's get

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Speaker 2: it started. And so we did, and it was a

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Speaker 2: really great It's been a really great ride and great

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Speaker 2: experience working with him. Simultaneously, my friend, another person I've

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Speaker 2: known for twenty plus years, Angela Rye, had also said, hey,

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Speaker 2: we did do a podcast because people were used to

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Speaker 2: my political takes, and so I'm really happy that I

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Speaker 2: get to do both. I still get to talk politics

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Speaker 2: with Angela and my brother Andrew Gillim and I get

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Speaker 2: to give us a break from all of that and

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Speaker 2: just focus on our humanity and embrace the magic that

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Speaker 2: happens when we gather, even right now in this base

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Speaker 2: that we gather with y'all. I just told you I'm

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Speaker 2: so exvasted, I'm tired. But with you all, it's like

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Speaker 2: I don't know either of you, but I know.

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Speaker 8: Both of y'all.

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Speaker 2: You know, like an immediate familiarity when it comes to

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Speaker 2: black women. So I think that's the best bullet point

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Speaker 2: I can give of my origin story.

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Speaker 8: It is bookended with black women for sure.

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Speaker 7: Wow, beautiful, Yes, thank you for that.

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Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to

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Speaker 4: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 4: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 4: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 4: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 4: about this.

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Speaker 9: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 9: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 9: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 9: our month please virtual video check ins where you can

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Speaker 9: connect with like minded black women like you and share

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Speaker 9: your ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now,

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Speaker 9: I want you to imagine a world where you're in

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Speaker 9: the exclusive Cultivating her Space Sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout

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Speaker 9: your day and week, you are conversing with us about

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Speaker 9: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and

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Speaker 9: or personal wins.

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Speaker 4: How does that sound? Hopefully this is of your alley, Lady,

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Speaker 4: because we are taking things to the next level this year,

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Speaker 4: and we're doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 1: That means you.

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Speaker 4: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 4: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 4: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 4: in twenty nineteen and to date we have not missed

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Speaker 4: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all

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Speaker 4: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs.

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Speaker 4: We release fresh new content every single Friday like clockwork,

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Speaker 4: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that

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Speaker 4: can really help you up level your life. So, if

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Speaker 4: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us,

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Speaker 4: we invite you to give back and help us push

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Speaker 4: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 4: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 4: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join

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Speaker 4: the Sister Frontier so that you can get someone on

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Speaker 4: one time with us. We also have an option for

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Speaker 4: you to donate on a one time basis if that

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Speaker 4: meets your needs. Again Herspace podcast dot com, and you

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Speaker 4: can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 4: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 3: And I think as I was listening to your origin story,

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Speaker 3: I think that there is not a black woman who

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Speaker 3: cannot relate to some piece of what you share of

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Speaker 3: your story. And so one of the things that you

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Speaker 3: mentioned towards the end is one of the projects that

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Speaker 3: you're currently working on right that you are working with

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Speaker 3: your friends Angelaue and Andrew Gillam on Native Land pot

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Speaker 3: and you have your own podcast. Can you tell us

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Speaker 3: what it's like to go from working eighteen hour days

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Speaker 3: to say, you know, I'm not going to do that anymore,

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Speaker 3: but to continue to work on multiple projects. How do

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Speaker 3: you find the balance within that?

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know that I find it as much

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Speaker 2: as I created. It was almost something like a badge

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Speaker 2: of honor in my twenties and even my thirties, you know,

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Speaker 2: talk about how hard we work, and life quieted down

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Speaker 2: for a lot of us.

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Speaker 8: You know, during.

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Speaker 2: COVID, it was just like a pause, like we just

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Speaker 2: needed a breath as the world around it seemed to

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Speaker 2: fall apart. And I think it caused, you know, somewhat

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Speaker 2: of an existential crisis for a lot of us.

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Speaker 8: And I just, you know, I still.

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Speaker 2: Work hard, don't get me wrong, but it's not so

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Speaker 2: much working hard now as it is working smart. I

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Speaker 2: one don't work for anyone anymore, and I don't know

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Speaker 2: that I will ever work for anyone again. I will

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Speaker 2: work in partnership with but I work for Tiffany Cross

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Speaker 2: Incorporated and Tifnty Cross Incorporated. Can you know, partner with people?

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Speaker 2: But my mission in life was to be in service

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Speaker 2: to black people, to live in service to black people,

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Speaker 2: and to fight for the equality and liberation of all

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Speaker 2: people of color because that impacts black folks. And I

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Speaker 2: think when that impacts all of us, even white folks

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Speaker 2: benefit from that, like everybody wins. And so when I'm

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Speaker 2: feeding my mission is not so exhausting. It feels like

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Speaker 2: I'm feeding myself and it is a delight at this

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Speaker 2: point in life because I have earned it. I think

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Speaker 2: after a few decades to be in community and fellowship

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Speaker 2: with my sister Angela and my brother Andrew, and I

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Speaker 2: can focus on what I don't have, but life has

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Speaker 2: taught me to sit in gratitude of what I do have.

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Speaker 2: And something just doesn't seem right that I get paid

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Speaker 2: to sit and talk with my friends every week, with

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Speaker 2: Angela and Andrew, like we are just the same stuff

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Speaker 2: y'all hears talking about on nativeland, Like we talked about

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Speaker 2: that in the group chat, We talked about that over lunch,

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Speaker 2: we talk about that at dinner. There's only one version

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Speaker 2: of me. You get it at all times. And then

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Speaker 2: I can leave that. And somehow I got will to

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Speaker 2: pay for therapy because when I'm sitting with an elder

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Speaker 2: black woman and a younger black woman, I am in therapy.

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Speaker 2: And it is beyond therapy. It's something more magical than therapy.

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Speaker 2: It is there really is no word that happens like

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Speaker 2: the three of us right now. You know, we're not

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Speaker 2: physically together, but in this space where we are, there

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Speaker 2: is a familiarity. There is, you know, an element of calm.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes do conversation, it can even be a bomb. You

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Speaker 2: add one person who don't look like us to this mix,

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Speaker 2: and the whole vibe changes. It is an immediate I'm

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Speaker 2: a little tighter now, and I'm a little more filtered now,

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Speaker 2: not out of fear, but out of protection for what

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Speaker 2: we share. And so it's great to be in spaces

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Speaker 2: where I just don't have to be so clenched, you know,

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Speaker 2: I can just exhale, and that is work.

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Speaker 8: It doesn't feel like work, but that is my work now.

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Speaker 2: And I just at this age and stage in life,

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Speaker 2: I don't know that I have it in me to

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Speaker 2: go back to any other way. I don't want to

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Speaker 2: exist in a space where I have to defend and

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Speaker 2: define my humanity constantly. And so this right now, for

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Speaker 2: where I am, I can only stay in the present.

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Speaker 2: But for where I am presently, this feels right to me.

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Speaker 1: That was so beautifully stated.

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Speaker 6: And you you ain't never lie, because that would that

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Speaker 6: would not pass the vibe right like that added another person.

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Speaker 1: But okay, you made me think of another question.

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Speaker 6: So I'm thinking about in my career and in my life,

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Speaker 6: I've grown up in predominantly white spaces, and so I

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Speaker 6: feel like I've always tried to figure out how do

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Speaker 6: I show up in this space compared to when I'm

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Speaker 6: with my friends and we know, there's code switching and

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Speaker 6: we try to assimilate. So being in corporate America, there's

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Speaker 6: a very different vibe, like in the employee resource groups

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Speaker 6: for black people, how we communicate there as opposed to

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Speaker 6: the larger community. So for a young person that's listening,

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Speaker 6: who wants to follow in your footsteps, and they're in

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Speaker 6: that space that you are in where you know they're

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Speaker 6: with these white colleagues or colleagues who don't look like them,

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Speaker 6: what advice do you have about just trying to show

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Speaker 6: up as your authentic self but also balancing that protection

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Speaker 6: of like the culture and what they have to offer,

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Speaker 6: because that it feels so complex and times so challenging.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think the first piece of advice, and this

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Speaker 2: is not me, you know, being soft and rocking a

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Speaker 2: young person to sleep like I'm giving it to you

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Speaker 2: straight mil taser, because I think young people need to

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Speaker 2: hear this too. The first piece of advice is you

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Speaker 2: have to earn this and how you do that is

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Speaker 2: you have to be the very best at what you do.

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Speaker 2: So you know, I was true to my craft. You know,

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Speaker 2: I woke up and read seven eight papers every morning.

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Speaker 2: I was the first person there. I was the last

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Speaker 2: person to leave, like you could not deny that I

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Speaker 2: was giving it my best effort.

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Speaker 8: I was doing better than the best that I had.

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Speaker 2: I would pretend when I was younger, working at CNN,

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Speaker 2: I would pretend that I left my heels at home,

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Speaker 2: very working girl, because I couldn't afford a pair of heels.

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Speaker 8: I would be in these like old beat up sneakers.

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Speaker 2: But that's all I had, and my little best dress

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Speaker 2: for less suit that I would have to switch out,

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Speaker 2: little blouses that I could afford.

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Speaker 8: I would sneak on.

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Speaker 2: The Marta in Atlanta, and you know, in my little suit,

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Speaker 2: my CNN beds prominently displayed, and I'm like.

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Speaker 8: Excuse me.

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Speaker 2: I put money in, but it didn't work, you know,

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Speaker 2: And I ain't put no money. I'm just trying to

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Speaker 2: make it. And guess what, Ain't nobody give a damn

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Speaker 2: about my sad story. Nobody wanted to hear that, like

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Speaker 2: it's breaking news, your script writing, ripping, your fact checking,

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Speaker 2: your you know, into the anchors. And so I just

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Speaker 2: think young people need to understand that you don't get

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Speaker 2: to show up on day one dressing how you want

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Speaker 2: to dress, act and how you want to act talking

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Speaker 2: how you want to You like, you need to present

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Speaker 2: the very best version of yourself. Now, this is a

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Speaker 2: system that we all operate in, and even though we

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Speaker 2: are the rising majority of this country, the power rests

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Speaker 2: solely almost in the hands of white folks. That's just

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Speaker 2: the sad, frustrating part. So swallow that now. But you

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Speaker 2: have to be a part of the system, even if

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Speaker 2: it is to disrupt it. So go in there and

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Speaker 2: learn learn from them, you like, learn how they move,

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Speaker 2: learn how they it's frustrating you and get your feeling

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Speaker 2: hurt and you're gonna walk out with some bruises. But

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Speaker 2: you got to know how they move if you want

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Speaker 2: to beat them at their game. And so I don't

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Speaker 2: want to give young people this false hope, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you go in there and you be yourself and you

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Speaker 2: wear your hair and do what you want to do. No,

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Speaker 2: that's just not the world we live in at this time.

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Speaker 2: Do that with your friends for now. If you're a

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Speaker 2: young the game is about adaptation and learn what you

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Speaker 2: need to know to create your own, build your own

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Speaker 2: disrupt the space. But you don't always get to do

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Speaker 2: that on day one. Now, if you are like defiant

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Speaker 2: and you're like, no, I don't choose to participate in

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Speaker 2: that system. I applaud you for it, but have a

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Speaker 2: plan because if you tell me I want to go

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Speaker 2: on my own business, well what's your plan? Because if

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Speaker 2: you ain't got no plan, that is a dream and

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Speaker 2: everybody got a dream. And a lot of people will

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Speaker 2: say to me like, oh, I want to be a

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Speaker 2: political commentator. I want to be you know, first of all,

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Speaker 2: political commentator is not a job. That is something you

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Speaker 2: do in addition to your job. But even people who

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Speaker 2: say I want to be a journalist, I always say, well,

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Speaker 2: what papers are you reading in the morning? Were some

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Speaker 2: of your favorite bylines? Who are some of your favorite writers?

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Speaker 2: What book are you reading? And they can't answer those questions,

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Speaker 2: And so I get a little frustrated with young folks like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you don't first of all, I don't care about your

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Speaker 2: opinion at twenty three, like what campaigns have you worked on?

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Speaker 2: What work experience you are? You want to be a commentator?

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Speaker 2: You ain't got nothing to commentate on? Yet you don't.

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Speaker 2: You haven't earned that space. So I think there is

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Speaker 2: something to be said. Build your life and your career

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Speaker 2: brick by brick, And if you are true, have a

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Speaker 2: mission in life, have boundaries and integrity and all of that,

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Speaker 2: but have a mission in life and feed that mission.

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Speaker 2: If you're true to your mission, the universe will respond

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Speaker 2: and open up to you. But very first, be the

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Speaker 2: best at what you do. Learn, listen more than you speak,

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Speaker 2: earn your voice, you know, know what you're talking about,

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Speaker 2: and then disrupt the system. So I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be a party whop, you know, put a damper on

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Speaker 2: people's independence and light and all of that. Like I

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Speaker 2: applaud it, and I think we have made great strides

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Speaker 2: in terms of how we show up in this space,

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Speaker 2: but there is an order to it. And you know,

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Speaker 2: we haven't gotten to this space yet where we are

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Speaker 2: the sole decision makers.

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Speaker 8: We just haven't. So that's my advice to young folks.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, it's not like you know, kumbai ya and spiritual,

438
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 2: but that's just the real, you know, And I want

439
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 2: I want young people to have like.

440
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 8: A real, solid idea of what life is like.

441
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 3: I appreciate that honesty, and I think that offering that

442
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 3: offering the real reminds me of the importance of like mentors, right,

443
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 3: And oftentimes young folks are not the best at like

444
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 3: navigating that mentor space. And so what would be your

445
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 3: advice to them on one the importance of having a

446
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 3: mentor and to how to go about cultivating a mentor

447
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 3: mental relationship.

448
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: That's such a good Let me just say this is

449
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 2: not even a shameless plug. This is a true natural segue,

450
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 2: if you will. That is part of the reason why

451
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: I wanted to start this show because it was bookended

452
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: with women who either wanted to talk to me or

453
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 2: women I wanted to talk to. And so the first

454
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 2: thing I would say, a lot of young women were

455
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 2: reaching out to me, you know, and it was like, oh, I,

456
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 2: you know, I want to do what you do, or

457
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 2: you know, can I have a conversation with you, or

458
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: can I, you know, take you to lunch or have coffee?

459
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 2: And I just did not have the capacity to sit

460
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,360
Speaker 2: across from twenty thousand young people, you know, and it's

461
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 2: like all y'all get together or something like invite me

462
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 2: to speak somewhere holds is symposium, Like then I can

463
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 2: talk to everybody at once. But it wasn't that one

464
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: on one interaction that's so important. The times that I

465
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 2: did where was somebody's you know, niece or you know

466
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 2: Jack and jeal moms asking me can talk to this person? Okay, fine,

467
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 2: And then you sit across from young people and you know, well,

468
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 2: one I would think you.

469
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 8: Want advice from me.

470
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 2: I'm still trying to figure my shit out, you know,

471
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 2: like I'm we all going through it. But when I

472
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 2: would sit across from some cause, in my mind, I'm

473
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: like still twenty eight, you know, until I talk to

474
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 2: a twenty eight year old and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

475
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 2: you actually have some wisdom to offer these young ladies.

476
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 2: But sometimes you sit across from young people say okay,

477
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: you got my attention, you got me for a whole hour,

478
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: So what's up?

479
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 8: And you sit across.

480
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 2: From people and they're like, I mean, I just don't know.

481
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure life out. I don't know what

482
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 2: I want to do. And immediately I'm like, this is

483
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 2: a waste of my time, Like I'm not here to

484
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 2: help you figure out what you like. You have to

485
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 2: figure that out, Like when you want to talk to

486
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 2: somebody where I am in life, have that figured out already.

487
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: I'm not your therapist, Like I can't. You know you

488
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: have to have those when you have me, haven't asked

489
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: you know, say hey, I want to you know, pursue law.

490
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 8: I know I want to go to law school.

491
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: I'm not quite sure what i want to do next,

492
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 2: but I would love it if you could a write

493
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 2: me a letter of recommendation, or be your friends with Angela.

494
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 2: I know she's a lawyer. Would love to talk to her,

495
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: or see could you come as a group of us

496
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: who all want to go to law school and could

497
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: you come and have a round table to something like that?

498
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: Because then it's like, okay, yeah, I got it. And

499
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 2: if I can't help you, I can put you in

500
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 2: touch with with someone else who can. So my advice

501
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: would be present the best version of yourself. Understand, when

502
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: you're sitting across someone, we are not your peer. We

503
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 2: are not your friend, your girlfriend. I'm not there to

504
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: hear about your dating life. Like present across from me

505
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,479
Speaker 2: that I can feel so confident that I can go

506
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: to my network of people and say I just met

507
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 2: this amazing young woman today. She has a badass. She's

508
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 2: going to be killing the game in twenty years, Like

509
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 2: you got to talk to her and then haven't asked

510
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,959
Speaker 2: ready for me? If you're still trying to figure it out.

511
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: You probably want to talk to somebody a few tears

512
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: closer to yourself. And it's nothing wrong with that. It's

513
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with not having it figured out yet. But

514
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 2: when you don't know someone and you're, you know, asking

515
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 2: them for their input on your life, like have it

516
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: a little more together, you know, so that I feel

517
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 2: like I'm sounded like an old crockety get.

518
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 6: On my loan, young lady. No, it's the truth, though.

519
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 6: It's important, Like you're putting them on games. This is

520
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 6: so important so they don't waste someone else's time. I

521
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 6: remember being that young person too, and I had to

522
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 6: learn the hard way, so we appreciate it.

523
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 2: I was that young person too, so I don't want

524
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 2: to be right. I only noticed because somebody had to

525
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 2: tap me on my shoulder.

526
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 8: And let me tell you, lady, this how goes.

527
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 6: Actually, now, Tiffany, we know it's late for you, so

528
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 6: we want to switch up the energy a little bit. Okay, okay,

529
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 6: And because we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman,

530
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 6: and we believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy

531
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 6: and ratchet. You can still be elegant and dance to

532
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 6: strip club music. If you so choose, we want to

533
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 6: invite you to write. We want to invite you to

534
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 6: the oh you blatchet segment?

535
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 1: Do you take on the challenge?

536
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 8: I accept tribute?

537
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Okay, here we go. Okay.

538
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,199
Speaker 6: So now that you we're going to tell you what

539
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 6: to expect. So we have three questions for you. We

540
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 6: have three sentence completions, and then we want you to

541
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 6: choose a number out of one in three because we

542
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 6: have three photos pulled up that we're going to put

543
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 6: on the big screen that we found of you on

544
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 6: social media, and we want you to provide some context

545
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 6: about this one photo that we would not know by

546
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 6: just looking at it. So we're going to dive on in.

547
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 6: We're gonna ease into this segment. It's not going to

548
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 6: be too too rough to start with. So the first

549
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 6: question here is what is your biggest pet peeve?

550
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 2: Unkind people. That's my biggest pet peeve never necessary to

551
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 2: be kind?

552
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, love that, love that. What's the best piece of

553
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 3: advice that you have ever received from an elder?

554
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 8: Mm hmm.

555
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 2: Easy woman by the name of Yolanda Carroway. She's part

556
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 2: of this coalition of colored girls. They call them in

557
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 2: the political space. And her and all her friends, they

558
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: were like badass women. And she told me when I

559
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 2: was in my twenties, and she said, you will meet

560
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: and have these friendships with people. Don't don't treat them

561
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 2: like competitors. Look at you know, our circle. Share information

562
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 2: with them, even if y'all going after the same job,

563
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: like share information and talk and because you never know

564
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 2: what's going to happen in life. And so I took

565
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 2: that and really ran with it. My whole crew, all

566
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: of it. We're all in medias, you know. We call

567
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: ourselves the Machetes. Me, Joy Reed, Angel Rye Sunny Howson

568
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 2: at the View, Britney pag Nick Cunningham, Alicia Guards, the

569
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: founder Black Lives Matter, Aaron Haynes at the Nineteenth. I'm

570
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: leaving out with people I know, Jammel Hill, Carry Champion.

571
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 8: It's ten of us.

572
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 2: So I love y'all if I love somebody out, but

573
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 2: we share salary information. We're all on the speaking circuit.

574
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: If somebody invites us to speak, I drop it in there. Hey,

575
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: this person invited me to speak. They're paying me to

576
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,959
Speaker 2: anybody ever work with them? How much they pay you.

577
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 2: We share job information. Jamel was another person. As soon

578
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 2: as they came to my show same day, it hit

579
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 2: me like, hey, I had these projects.

580
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 8: I'm working on, So I just think.

581
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: You know, successful women make the best friends because nobody

582
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 2: coverts anybody's life. You're all trying to help each other

583
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 2: and true to form the advice you line of Carraway

584
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 2: gave me all those years ago. You want to make

585
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 2: sure everyone in your life is doing something dope, because

586
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: when I look to my left and my right, everybody's

587
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 2: in a position to catch me. I want my girl

588
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: to be the CEO of a company. I want my

589
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 2: girl to be controlling the budget. I want my girl

590
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: to have her own show so she can promote my

591
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: platform and talk to me.

592
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 8: I want my girl.

593
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: To be the top highest rated, most watched stable news platform,

594
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 2: Like I want everybody to do that because by osmosis,

595
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: that energy is contagient. So that would be the best

596
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: advice I got for myself, and I echo and reverberate

597
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: that advice to any groups of people really, but definitely

598
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: young black women.

599
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 8: It's too few of us. We don't have to privilege's

600
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 8: not to like each other.

601
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: Hey, that is some game, right.

602
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 6: There was an abundant mindset, not trying to be competitive

603
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 6: with everyone that you meet.

604
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: That is beautiful.

605
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 6: Now the next question here, I'm gonna just say it's

606
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 6: I got four words for you, Okay, Okay, twerk or

607
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 6: two step?

608
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, I'm gonna say twerk, but I cannot

609
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 2: our whole group we went to Paris and our friend

610
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: Brittany was trying to show me and Angela out of work.

611
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 2: There is video of this. I think it's on Angela's

612
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 2: social media, but there is video. I don't fit the

613
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: stereotype guys like I wish I did. Like I watch

614
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: all the videos. I want to dance like a stripper.

615
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 2: I really do. My body is like no moo, we

616
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 2: ain't got it, but I do. I want to try.

617
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: I want to I want to have those magic moves,

618
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 2: but I don't have it. So I'm gonna say twerk

619
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 2: with the caveat that I am not the best.

620
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: Worker, Tiffany, It's all good.

621
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 4: We have asked so many black women this question, and

622
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 4: so many have had a very similar answer, like I've

623
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 4: had my own interesting journey with rhythm and tworking as well,

624
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 4: So it's all good.

625
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: Space.

626
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 7: Okay, you're in a similar space.

627
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 3: We all very good, and so now we're going to

628
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: move to the sentence completion. One question or topic I

629
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: wish people asked me about more often is.

630
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 2: The journey home to itself? Definitely easy, easy answer.

631
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 6: It's so wild, Tiffany. You are literally not going to

632
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 6: believe this. So the next sentence completion is what I

633
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 6: would tell your listeners about the journey home to self is.

634
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 8: I love it.

635
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: What I a would tell the listeners about the journey

636
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 2: home itself is it is dark and scary and lonely,

637
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 2: but there is beauty on the other side.

638
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 8: Yes, Lord, Yes, there's a quote that speaks to it.

639
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: Is not mine, but it says the soul would have

640
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: no rainbow, had the eyes no tears, and I think

641
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 2: that's very true my life.

642
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 7: Oh all right, Tiffany, you over here getting all deep.

643
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 10: And this next sentence completion is like, not deep at all.

644
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 10: I'm ambitexerus that way, yeah to me, Yes, yes, The

645
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 10: most embarrassing thing I've ever done to get a CRUSH's

646
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 10: attention is, Oh, my lord, throw a tantrum, throw a

647
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 10: full on tantrum.

648
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: Yes, with with he wasn't necessarily a crush. He was

649
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: somebody I was dating. But you know how those those

650
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 2: skills can tilt where you're starting to feel like a

651
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 2: crush and I just would throw a full on tantrum.

652
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 8: And this is the journey home to.

653
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,479
Speaker 2: Sell phone realize you know you you never know what

654
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: the lord in the universe is protecting you from. So

655
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 2: I threw a tantrum and it was like painful to

656
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: like go back and forth with this guy. But I

657
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 2: am grateful where I am in life now.

658
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: The lines yes, won't do it right? Will Okay?

659
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 6: The last sentence completion for you, Tiffany, is what I

660
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 6: love most about myself is.

661
00:33:54,240 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: M oh, what I love most about my This should

662
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 2: not be such a difficult question to answer.

663
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 8: This is part of the journey home to self.

664
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 2: I think what I love most about myself is friendliness.

665
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 2: I would say friendliness. I'm like, I don't meet a stranger.

666
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 2: I'm very conversing with people. You know, by the time

667
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm one of those people. By the time I get

668
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 2: out the uber, I'm like, you're gonna win that custody battle.

669
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 2: You have to like convnce her. You're the best parent,

670
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 2: you know, Like I get all in the people's stuff

671
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 2: I was in the hospital for ten days once and

672
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 2: I remember waking up at like two in the morning

673
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 2: and just like talking to the nurses and I'm like,

674
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 2: oh my god, Tasha, he's no.

675
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 8: Good for you. You have to leave him. Your son needs

676
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 8: to you. I mean, just crazy stories that I share

677
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 8: with people.

678
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 2: But I really appreciate it because I just think we

679
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: lose that connectivity and our humanity.

680
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 8: Everybody's on their.

681
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 2: Phones all the damn time, and you know it's you

682
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 2: look at a table full of like beautiful people and

683
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 2: they're all on the phones and they're not even doing anything.

684
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 2: They're not responding to work. They're scrolling through Instagram or

685
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 2: TikTok or looking at nonsense and not connecting with people. So, yes,

686
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: that's the best thing I like, because I even if

687
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 2: I don't invite it, I feel like something about me

688
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 2: invites people to tell me their business, their stories and

689
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 2: share I mean I do it every week on a

690
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 2: cross generations, but with strangers I meet on the street,

691
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 2: it just doesn't bother me.

692
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 8: I enjoy it.

693
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,280
Speaker 1: That is a gift. Indeed, Thank you, Tiffany.

694
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 6: Okay, So, Tiffany, we want you to choose a number

695
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 6: out of one and three and then we're gonna reveal

696
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 6: this photo. Oh you already, okay, go ahead, and she

697
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 6: was ready. This is put you right here.

698
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: It's so cute. Okay, So what.

699
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 3: Will let you do?

700
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 6: So, Tiffany, if you could describe the photo first for

701
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 6: people who can't see the video, and they give us

702
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 6: the context behind it after it's gonna be revealed on

703
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 6: the big screen in one second.

704
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 8: Oh thank you?

705
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 1: Cool?

706
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 8: All right?

707
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 2: Well this I am in a restaurant, leaning on a

708
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 2: bar soil with some over the knee hooker boots and this.

709
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 8: Little leather is really vegan leather. That's what we call

710
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 8: pleather when I was young.

711
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 2: The vegan leather out there that ties in nice at

712
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,720
Speaker 2: the waist. And I'm taking a selfie in a mirror.

713
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 2: So this is when my girl group and I and yeah,

714
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: I think of Jamel had planned we went to go

715
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 2: support Don Staley at the exhibition game in Paris, and

716
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 2: we had gone to this was the night before the game,

717
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 2: and we all went to dinner at this restaurant.

718
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 8: Carrie.

719
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: It was like a caviar type dinner. Carrie Champions was

720
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 2: that she loves caviar, so she had us at this

721
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 2: like toity toy.

722
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 8: I'm not. I never told him.

723
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: This, but I ain't like this restaurant at all, Like

724
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 2: I wanted some good food. But anyway, this is where

725
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: we went, and I pretended to love it, like, oh

726
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: my god, did you love the cavire you? But really

727
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: I just wanted some like good food. I didn't really

728
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 2: enjoy it. But this is me taking a selfie while

729
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,760
Speaker 2: I was waiting on everybody else to get their coat,

730
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 2: and I caught a glimpse of myself and was like, yes,

731
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: I like snap, snap, So yes.

732
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 8: That's this picture. I'm since then, but.

733
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: Well, it's good. The background is good. It looks like

734
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: a nice, fancy restaurant. You look good.

735
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 8: Girl, Thank you, Thank you.

736
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: Are playing along for the oh you've bletchet segment with us?

737
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:04,240
Speaker 1: That was fun.

738
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,760
Speaker 6: We just told a couple more questions for you, okay,

739
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,479
Speaker 6: And one of the things I wanted to ask you about.

740
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 6: You talked about the journey back to self, and I

741
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 6: would love to know and your experience, whether it's your

742
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 6: personal experience or what you've sort of experienced by way

743
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 6: of other people, What are.

744
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: Some of the key components to that journey? Think about

745
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: the journey back to self?

746
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would hear people all the time say

747
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 2: you gotta do the work, you know, do the work,

748
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: And I was always like, but what is the work like?

749
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 8: Do you have to read a book? Do got to

750
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 8: write an essay?

751
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 5: Like?

752
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: Tell me what it is and I will get to it.

753
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 2: And I think the work is different for everyone. And

754
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 2: so for me, a part of the work was sitting

755
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 2: in my feelings, which is really hard to do.

756
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 8: So for years I had just busied myself.

757
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 2: You know, I was so busy at work, I was

758
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 2: busy in relationships. I'd be busy, this busy work, you know.

759
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 2: And when life quieted, you know, we had COVID and

760
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 2: then they you know, I got a show. Then it

761
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:06,760
Speaker 2: canceled my show, and just there wasn't this daily grind.

762
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 2: I just had to sit and grieve everything, you know.

763
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: I had to grieve forty plus years of bruises and

764
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 2: go down a rabbit hole of my feelings and why

765
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: I felt a certain way at any given moment, and

766
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: how I process those feelings and what was healthy about

767
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 2: what I processed and what was unhealthy about it.

768
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 8: And I'm still on this journey.

769
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 2: I think for me, it has felt like I'm in

770
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 2: a dark forest, fighting my way out. I can see

771
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 2: light on the other side. I see beautiful waterfalls on

772
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 2: the other side, and I'm like, look at that oasis

773
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: over there.

774
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 8: That is where I want to be.

775
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 2: And I know I'm going towards you know, that space,

776
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 2: and it's a healing journey. And to do that, I

777
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: have to like get all the vines off me, and

778
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: you know, it's gonna be some thorns in there, and

779
00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: they cut me when I'm moving them.

780
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 3: You know.

781
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: Part of that is with the relationship with my mother.

782
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: We recorded an episode of Across Generations called Mommy Issues

783
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: because we talk a lot about mommy issues when it

784
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 2: comes to men. We talk about daddy issues when it

785
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 2: comes to men and women, we rarely talk about mommy

786
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 2: issues when it comes to us. And it was one

787
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 2: of the most emotional episodes that we recorded and I

788
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: have had it was I don't know what it was,

789
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 2: but it was very cathartic and something just flowed out

790
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 2: of me. And ever since then, I have had nothing

791
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 2: but grace, forgiveness and love for my mother like I

792
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 2: never had before. And I thought, man, like, that was

793
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 2: such a tough thing to go through. But on the

794
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 2: other side of it, I can breathe a little easier,

795
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 2: you know, I can lean into chaining a soul with her.

796
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 8: I shared a body with her, I share a spirit

797
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 8: with her.

798
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 2: No matter if your childhood was the best thing in life,

799
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 2: but what you spend the rest of your life trying

800
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: to get over. It's something that I had to come

801
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 2: home to myself. So yeah, that it's mean. Look, I

802
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: can write a dissertation on this, but that is like

803
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 2: the one key component that I'll share. The work looks

804
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 2: different for everybody, and I this is part of the

805
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 2: reason why I want to have these conversations with an

806
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: elder and a younger every week, because they really are

807
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,959
Speaker 2: helping me on my journey, and it's it feels less lonely.

808
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 8: In that forest because I'm like, oh, you're still in.

809
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 2: The forest too, Like this is a lifelong journey because

810
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 2: even when you get to the waterfall, you can still

811
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: level up after that. So yes, that's probably the most

812
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: concise way I can say.

813
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 8: I'll have y' all here all night.

814
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 2: If I go on and on and on about it,

815
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: but that's that's probably the best way.

816
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 3: I love how you share that and how you explain

817
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 3: that process, and you know, as I'm listening and I

818
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 3: try to turn my therapist lens off, but it's hard

819
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 3: to do sometimes. And so as I was listening to

820
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 3: you share and just thinking about these deep conversations that

821
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 3: you have with an elder and a younger, how do

822
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 3: you decompress after having like some of these very cathartic conversations.

823
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 2: Who I will tell you it's challenging because sometimes we're

824
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 2: taping two episodes back to back, so one can be

825
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,320
Speaker 2: really heavy and I didn't cry it off my makeup,

826
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 2: and the other can be very lighthearted. You know, we

827
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,320
Speaker 2: could be talking about church and one and sex workers

828
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 2: with the next, and I just have a you know,

829
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,359
Speaker 2: probably like twenty minutes to change and get touched up

830
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 2: and make up in my dressing room. You know, I

831
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 2: gotta like dab my tears away. So I think I'm

832
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: just in work mode, even though I'm being open and

833
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 2: it's personal and I'm sharing everything I can. I think

834
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 2: when it's all done, when I'm done taping for today,

835
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: it feels like I ran a marathon. It was, you know,

836
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: an emotional journey, and I knock out, like I sleep

837
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 2: so hard. I'm comatose after that because it you know

838
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 2: takes me place is that I don't always anticipate going

839
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 2: and it's always the elder for me. My producers in

840
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 2: full disclosure will have to tell me, hey, you talked

841
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 2: a lot to the elder.

842
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 8: You need to focus more on the younger.

843
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 2: Because I'm so it's like you are the matriarch, you know,

844
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: like I want to worship at your feet.

845
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,839
Speaker 8: I want to gain the knowledge that you have.

846
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 2: That's how I started to show like I think, like

847
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 2: you guys, we all have a similar experience. I would

848
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 2: sit at my grandmother's table chopping onions and dice and

849
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 2: peppers and you know, learning the consistency of mac and

850
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 2: cheese and all of that. And I would be sitting

851
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 2: there asking her questions, you know, about life and love

852
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 2: and grief and pain and hope and anguish and all

853
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 2: the things. And she would let me get about five

854
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 2: questions in before she would just lose it and snap

855
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 2: on me and say, child, don't ask me another question.

856
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 8: But I was so curious.

857
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 2: You know, The Matrix is one of my favorite movies,

858
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 2: and I'm like, there's a reason the actual oracle was

859
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 2: an old black grandma, because we know black women are

860
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: oracles and so having that just river of knowledge to

861
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: swim in is a blessing. And then I want the

862
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: younger person to feel heard and seen. But sometimes younger

863
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 2: people have something to offer too, you know, like younger

864
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 2: people or the first people to be like, well, you're

865
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: working on eighteen hour days.

866
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 8: We got work life balance. They used to annoy me.

867
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: But I'm like, you know, y'all go onto something like well,

868
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: I'm we're gonna make the white man richer, like there

869
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: is something else in I'm will live now, I'm gonna

870
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 2: enjoy life a little bit. Now, I'll work hard, but

871
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make some boundariesier. So I have tried to,

872
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 2: you know, take all of this, and I can decompress

873
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 2: by applying what I've learned in my own life, you know,

874
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 2: after I've exhausted and been comatosed and wake up the

875
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 2: next day like all right, I'm gonna start a new

876
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 2: like what do I want to do today?

877
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 8: So it's a little bit of both.

878
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 2: I think we're making myself decompressed but also pressing the

879
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 2: gas sometimes.

880
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 6: I love that, and also love that we all were

881
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 6: like yes to that mac and cheese experience with Grandmom

882
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 6: and the kitchen, like we we had to save experiences.

883
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 6: So yeah, Tiffany, we'd love to know. Our final interview

884
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 6: question for you is when you think about across generations,

885
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 6: what are you most excited for when it comes to

886
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 6: the future of that platform and the vision you have

887
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 6: for the legacy of it and where it's going.

888
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited to grow it. You know, you ladies

889
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 2: have been in the game longer than me. I'm so

890
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 2: used to television, so the podcast marketplace is very crowded,

891
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 2: and it's like you're trying to make noise in a

892
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: very crowded space. And so you know, I'm used to

893
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: numbers in the millions, so you know, looking at these numbers,

894
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 2: it's an adjustment. You know, I'm learning a completely new medium.

895
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 2: Both podcasts that I host are in the top one

896
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 2: percent of all podcasts, so that is a blessing. Now

897
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 2: we grow every week, and I would invite everybody listening

898
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 2: to please rate and review the show. Rate and review

899
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 2: this show, rate and review cultivating Her because that is how,

900
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 2: you know, you ladies, build and grow your platform. And

901
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 2: when you're done doing that, head over to across generations

902
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 2: and listen and rate and review across generations. I mean

903
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: that it is a delight to do. I would love

904
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 2: to see. To me, this is a TV show, and

905
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 2: so we do like there are people who are solidly

906
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 2: like I listen, and there are people who are solidly

907
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: in the camp I want to see. And so we

908
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: are building this from the ground up, like we have.

909
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 2: Will is like laser focused on YouTube, you know, and

910
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: everybody's like, tend me YouTube at next, like what are

911
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 2: you talking about? And when you ask young people, it's true,

912
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: like they are not watching linear television like they watch YouTube.

913
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 2: And so I would love for people to go subscribe

914
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 2: to our YouTube channel, follow us on at across generation

915
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 2: on Instagram, tune into the show. You can watch with

916
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 2: your mom and your grandmama, your girlfriends, your cousins and sisters,

917
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 2: your group chat, share our content, comment on it when

918
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 2: you see it, drop it in your group chat, get

919
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 2: other people's opinions on it, because I really did. I

920
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 2: built this for you. I built this for us, and

921
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: I wanted us to have a solace. So if it grows,

922
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 2: I don't say this though, and you guys can appreciate this.

923
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 8: Being in this space.

924
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 2: I am not one of those people who chase a

925
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 2: viral moment. I think nothing about what we're doing is performative.

926
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 2: It is classic conversations like that conversation with Nikki Giovanni

927
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: and James Baldwin. You know where she's saying talking to him,

928
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 2: like you go out and you lie to the white man,

929
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 2: come home and lie to me. I love you the

930
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: most and I get the least of you. That conversation

931
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 2: we watched today and it's fifty years old. We can

932
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 2: watch it fifty years from now and it still means something.

933
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: Those are the types of conversations I want to cultivate.

934
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 2: So asking you know, like this some things that people

935
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 2: dabble in.

936
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 8: If I can.

937
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 2: Reach one hundred people and they get something and they

938
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 2: feel like, yes, this is a classic conversation. I want

939
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,919
Speaker 2: to play this for my daughter one day versus two

940
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 2: million people watching some viral ass moment that they never.

941
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 8: Go and watch again. I would rather reach the one

942
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 8: hundred people.

943
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 2: And so if that is your vibe, like that is

944
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 2: the vibe we're creating at across generations. If you're looking

945
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 2: for that grandmotherly warm feeling of sitting at the table

946
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 2: with an elder, if you want to be seen and

947
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 2: see your peer with a younger or of you in

948
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 2: between like me, and you just want to be reflected

949
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 2: and have something to watch with your family.

950
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 8: Tune in men too. If this is a conversation that

951
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 8: centers black women, it's not exclusively for black women, but

952
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 8: it is one of those conversations where you sit down

953
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 8: and you get to observe and listen.

954
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,760
Speaker 2: Black women get to speak, but everybody else you observe.

955
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 8: And you listen. And that's the platform.

956
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 2: We create it so that if I can grow it

957
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,240
Speaker 2: and reach people, then it will have fed my mission

958
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: to live and be in service to black folks. So

959
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 2: that would make me feel good. I know you guys

960
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: are doing an interview, but I have a question for you.

961
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,800
Speaker 2: What is your vision for this podcast? And how have

962
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 2: you guys found the process of like growing and building

963
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 2: and what do you have for me as I'm navigating

964
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 2: this space?

965
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 6: Oh lord, well, we may have to tell you the

966
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 6: full vision offline.

967
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:10,760
Speaker 8: That's a personal reason, okay, okay.

968
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 6: I would say the biggest thing for us, Tiffany, is

969
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 6: we just want to We started this like at a

970
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 6: black owned restaurant basically in San Francisco. We met at

971
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 6: a conference and we were like, we want to do

972
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 6: something for black women and that's where the idea came.

973
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 6: That was five and a half years ago. And so

974
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 6: we want to go out and touch our people. We

975
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 6: want to host more live events. We want to be

976
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,879
Speaker 6: able to bring the vibe of the podcast. People often

977
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 6: say it's like we're sitting on the couch talking to girlfriends.

978
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 6: We want to be able to go to our people

979
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 6: and do this in person and have healing workshops and

980
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 6: really just transform the quality of the lives of black

981
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,439
Speaker 6: women because we have so much on our shoulders, We're

982
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 6: doing so much, and to be able to give them

983
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 6: access to the therapeutic conversations and some of the game

984
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 6: changing experiences that Dom and I've had in our personal

985
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 6: lives to heal from trauma and things of that nature.

986
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 6: That's what we want to do, just heal our women

987
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:00,800
Speaker 6: because we know that's to heal the world.

988
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 8: I love that.

989
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 2: I love that, Doctor Dom, you got something ant to

990
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 2: that or any advice for me?

991
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 3: I would say, consistency, Just keep doing what you're doing.

992
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 3: You know, as you were talking, like what you were

993
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 3: sharing in terms of your vision like resonated and aligned

994
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 3: with what Terry and I are doing here. And so

995
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 3: I would just say consistency and know that the people

996
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 3: who you're meant to work with, like the people who

997
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 3: you're meant to touch, will receive it.

998
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 2: Well, I receive that from you and from you, Terry.

999
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 2: I really appreciate that, and just congrats again on what

1000
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 2: you all have been able to create here. If you

1001
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 2: guys do live shows in the city I'm in, I

1002
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,839
Speaker 2: would love to stop by and see. Will and I

1003
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 2: did a live event at the Gathering Spot in Atlanta and.

1004
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 8: It was a packed house.

1005
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 2: I was really touched that all the people who came

1006
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 2: out and we played clips from the show and people

1007
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 2: were really into it. That did definitely help grow our

1008
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 2: audience and we definitely plan on doing more live events

1009
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:08,320
Speaker 2: for both podcasts. So it's been a delight being here

1010
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 2: and being able to share in this space and reading

1011
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 2: the research on podcasts, black women were a growing audience

1012
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 2: when black creators were given a platform to speak, and

1013
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,439
Speaker 2: so since we make the world go around, it makes

1014
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 2: more sense that we help have and help grow all

1015
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: these platforms. So I really appreciate you ladies for giving

1016
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,359
Speaker 2: me this space to.

1017
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 8: Talk about it and share with you all.

1018
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much, Shifnany. We appreciate you.

1019
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 6: We're going to add a link to your podcast in

1020
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,359
Speaker 6: the show notes, and we hopefully you post you have

1021
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 6: an event near us so we can come out and

1022
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 6: support because we are fans, and we'll definitely be sure

1023
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 6: to keep in touch.

1024
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 8: Thank you so much, Say thank you, ladies. This is

1025
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 8: such a delight y'all. Have a wonderful evening.

1026
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 3: You too, Thanks for joining us today. Please note that

1027
00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 3: our show may contain conversations about self health, help, advice,

1028
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but is by no means

1029
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,320
Speaker 3: meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship

1030
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 3: with a trained mental health provider. If you are someone

1031
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,800
Speaker 3: you know is in need of mental health care, please

1032
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 3: visit a Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or

1033
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 3: contact your insurance provider.

1034
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 6: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

1035
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 6: the conversation going, visit our website at herspacepodcast dot com

1036
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 6: and be sure to click the Patreon link to get

1037
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 6: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show.

1038
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 6: And before we meet again, repeat after me. The universe

1039
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 6: is conspiring for my success. I trust the process and

1040
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 6: surrender to the flow.