Speaker 1: Nothing worse than a dead sneeze, the sneeze that never was.
Speaker 1: It hurts your nose. It doesn't hurt my nose, but
Speaker 1: it hurts me emotionally, you know, like I was expecting
Speaker 1: something and just got just the rug gut pulled out
Speaker 1: from under me. Happy birthday to me. Hey today, I'll
Speaker 1: say it. Nobody else has gone up. I'll be the
Speaker 1: first one. I'll wake up in the morning, I'll text
Speaker 1: myself I can feel great. Cool. That takes the pressure
Speaker 1: off of me a little bit. Well, I mean I'll
Speaker 1: be doing it in lieu of hearing it from you, right,
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. The pressure is off. I have
Speaker 1: no birthday responsible. I'm kind of doing it passive aggressively,
Speaker 1: like having a birthday to me to forget. So if
Speaker 1: you're gonna do it for yourself anyway, then what you
Speaker 1: need to do is wake up forty five minutes early
Speaker 1: and be sitting at the side of the bed right
Speaker 1: with a gift and I cup a cough oh and uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, and say happy birthdays. That's easy. Plus,
Speaker 1: the gifts got to be expensive. You want me to
Speaker 1: go to a t M. You know, it shows that
Speaker 1: you cared to public. But I just want to put
Speaker 1: you through something from my birthday. You know, some people
Speaker 1: do that one day to birthdays, like how do you
Speaker 1: feel about birthday? So they like matter, do you don't care?
Speaker 1: Is this something you avoid? I mean I think it
Speaker 1: matters a bit. It's like the one day you can
Speaker 1: be like everyone tell me that I'm great, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, you know, for my birthday this year,
Speaker 1: we were in Oklahoma and staying at the Hojo, And
Speaker 1: for my birthday last year, we were, you know, like
Speaker 1: my birthday is just never really the day of really
Speaker 1: never matters. We always make it up later. My birthdays
Speaker 1: have just had a bad luck streak the past couple
Speaker 1: of years. March, so um, you know, we can celebrate
Speaker 1: as we locked down on thet so there was no chance.
Speaker 1: So I was kind of like, whatever, maybe I'll be
Speaker 1: like a leap year person and be like every few years,
Speaker 1: I'll just make it a big deal. But like when
Speaker 1: I turned forty, it'll be like a big problem for everybody. Yeah, definitely,
Speaker 1: when you turn forty twelve years from now, that's right,
Speaker 1: exactly appreciate that. Yeah, because I'm younger than you and
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. I'll be yes, thank you, tomorrow will be nineteen. Clarify,
Speaker 1: But no, I'm being between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You know, everybody, Look,
Speaker 1: my sister is about to have a baby. It's like,
Speaker 1: just avoid this time of year. I love my birthday.
Speaker 1: It's a great time. Maybe that's why us sagittarius Is
Speaker 1: are so aware of our elevated presence in the world. Um,
Speaker 1: because we're surrounded by all this celebration, you know, for
Speaker 1: our birthdays. Anyway, you're all invited to my birthday party.
Speaker 1: So come on out, and this is a first. But
Speaker 1: first you have to leave a five star review on
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, right, print it out and bring it your
Speaker 1: tickets into the party. Why should we just just play
Speaker 1: the podcast at the party. We should just have that
Speaker 1: on instead of music. People would be like, it's like
Speaker 1: they're here, but we've actually left. Yeah, we're not at
Speaker 1: the party. Have a drink at the bar, but you
Speaker 1: can't have a drink. I have to buy your drink
Speaker 1: at the bar, right because I'm only eight, you're only nineteen. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll be nice, you know, thanks for reminding me, Jeeves.
Speaker 1: I know you feel so old. All right, old, we
Speaker 1: got an old story today Part two if you remember
Speaker 1: part one. If you haven't heard part one, embers one song,
Speaker 1: So go check it out because this is truly an
Speaker 1: epic historical tale of heartbreak and chaos and schemon and
Speaker 1: all the good stuff we get from royal imperial families.
Speaker 1: So when we last left off with emperors, when Shong
Speaker 1: he was secure in his power and Lisa shung his
Speaker 1: son with the consort Yangui Pen was now the crown
Speaker 1: Prince and heir to the imperial throne. Consort Woo, who
Speaker 1: tried to manipulate the line of succession by tricking the
Speaker 1: emperor into executing his own three sons, was dead and gone.
Speaker 1: And all this drama and chaos and death had left emperors.
Speaker 1: When Song depressed and his empire weakened, when he fell
Speaker 1: in love with a young woman named Young Guifey, his
Speaker 1: whole empire started to crumble. So let us dive in
Speaker 1: and hear about the love story that toppled the Tongue dynasty.
Speaker 1: Let's do this, hey, their French, come listen. Well, Elia
Speaker 1: and Diana got some stories to tell. There's no matchmaking
Speaker 1: a romantic tips. It's just about pardiculous relationships. A love.
Speaker 1: It might be any type of person at all, and
Speaker 1: abstract concept on a concrete wall. But if there's a
Speaker 1: story where the second glance, we'll show ridiculous role, that's
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. So we'll go back
Speaker 1: to the year seven nineteen, and this is about two
Speaker 1: decades before Consort Wu's death, and this is the city
Speaker 1: of Young Love where a girl was born named Young
Speaker 1: Yu Huan, and she would eventually be known as Young Guifa,
Speaker 1: So we'll get to that name later. But in seven
Speaker 1: thirty three, when she was just fourteen years old, she
Speaker 1: was married off for political purposes to a very special fella.
Speaker 1: His name was Lee Mao, And if you remember from
Speaker 1: part one, Lee Mao was the son of Emperors Ween
Speaker 1: Song and Consort Wu. His mom was trying to scheme
Speaker 1: him into the line of succession by convincing the emperor
Speaker 1: that his own air Lie Ying, was betraying him, but
Speaker 1: ultimately Juan Song did not make Limo his air, instead
Speaker 1: choosing another son, Lisa Shun right, the stew baby, the
Speaker 1: stew baby, right, our friend, the stew baby. So Consort
Speaker 1: was dead, Lie Mao is off and he married this girl,
Speaker 1: Yan Yu Huan. Now Li Mao was not the crown Prince,
Speaker 1: but he was titled the Prince of Show, and so
Speaker 1: Young yu Wan became the Princess of Show. And as
Speaker 1: she grew up she developed into a very curvacious woman, which,
Speaker 1: according to Britannica dot Com, had been unpopular but was
Speaker 1: becoming a more desirable look around this time. I wonder
Speaker 1: if she said the found the lightning in the bottle,
Speaker 1: I want to guess, or if he set that trend.
Speaker 1: People are like, oh damn, what if people were curvy? Actually,
Speaker 1: I like a little but down down and a trunk trunk,
Speaker 1: And y'all made it work because everybody thought that she
Speaker 1: was a total smoke shows Save lives. She's considered to
Speaker 1: be one of the four Great Beauties of Ancient China.
Speaker 1: These were four women in China who were so beautiful
Speaker 1: that they changed the nation forever. Of course, their beauty
Speaker 1: and their stories have been largely exaggerated through centuries of legend,
Speaker 1: but Young's, which was the most recent, is also the
Speaker 1: most well documented and historically accurate. So what we know
Speaker 1: about her, uh, probably more truthful than the other three,
Speaker 1: who were from hundreds of years earlier. Each of these
Speaker 1: four women have garnered a poetic idiom associated with them.
Speaker 1: They say, our girl Young yu Huan under her more
Speaker 1: famous name Young Guifa shames flowers. And it said that
Speaker 1: the second century singer Dion eclipses the moon, and if BC,
Speaker 1: the musician Wong Jo Twin enticed birds into falling. And
Speaker 1: in the seventh century BC, it's said the first of
Speaker 1: the Great Four Beauties, z Sha sinks fish. Oh, quite
Speaker 1: have the same poetic and the story is that she
Speaker 1: would stand over a river and the fish would see
Speaker 1: her and become so bedazzled by her beauty that they
Speaker 1: would just sink to the bottom. They'd forget how to
Speaker 1: swim and sink. Wow. Yeah, I guess I would. I
Speaker 1: would rather shame a flower, I suppose, than kill kill
Speaker 1: birds and fish opposite snow white stuff. Interestingly, I found
Speaker 1: the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Speaker 1: actually comes from a Chinese expression where they say in
Speaker 1: the eyes of a lover, z Sha appears. So they're like,
Speaker 1: if you love someone, you will see her as z
Speaker 1: show the most beautiful woman history. So your next Valentine Day, girl,
Speaker 1: you're so beautiful, you could sink of fish and see
Speaker 1: what happens. When I see you, I just of dead
Speaker 1: fish at the bottom of the river. You make birds
Speaker 1: fall out of the sky. There you go. I know
Speaker 1: we say no romantic tips in our theme song. You
Speaker 1: can have that right here. Well after U Song's favorite
Speaker 1: girlfriend got him to murder his own sons and then died,
Speaker 1: he was pretty depressed, understandably. A concert woos a little puppet,
Speaker 1: leland Fu. We remember him, our villain of the week.
Speaker 1: He had been advising the emperor and he was almost
Speaker 1: in real trouble because concert Wo was his backup in
Speaker 1: in the palace. But he found a report that said
Speaker 1: only fifty eight death sentences had been handed down that year.
Speaker 1: It was such a low number that he showed it
Speaker 1: to Jue Song and said, oh my god, dude, you're
Speaker 1: so great. You've made the empire so peaceful we hardly
Speaker 1: even need death sentences anymore. Wow, you're doing such a
Speaker 1: great job. What a great guy. You know. One Song
Speaker 1: loves flattery, probably his big weakness, and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: well me, well shucks, guys, I couldn't have done it
Speaker 1: without my chancellors, just like you, lin Fu. So he
Speaker 1: made lin Fu into a duke, a deputy military Governor
Speaker 1: and gave him an additional title as Minister of Civil
Speaker 1: Service Affairs. This is over the course of about two years.
Speaker 1: He just keeps earning titles. Leland Fu and other officials
Speaker 1: made a massive overhaul to imperial law, and soon he
Speaker 1: was so powerful that no official could even get a
Speaker 1: promotion without his recommendation. His spies within the eunuchs and
Speaker 1: the ladies in waiting kept Emperor's one Song distracted, and
Speaker 1: they kept lin Fu informed There's one Song. Had already
Speaker 1: gotten pretty tired of his imperial duties when concert Wou
Speaker 1: was in his ear, but now after her death, he
Speaker 1: was having a really hard time staying focused. Historians say
Speaker 1: in the eleventh century work The New History of the
Speaker 1: Tongue that j Win Song brought tens of thousands of
Speaker 1: women to his court to entertain him. That's a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh that's your birthday party, all right, song kind of party.
Speaker 1: But he was miserable. He let leland Food gradually become
Speaker 1: the most powerful person in the kingdom. His heart was
Speaker 1: growing cold, and though he sank into poetry and music
Speaker 1: and food and women, he could not find happiness. But
Speaker 1: then his son Li Mao arrived and presented to the
Speaker 1: Imperial Palace. His wife Young Hush one Song is like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: sure you've got a wife good for you. I'm sure
Speaker 1: she's very beautiful. And he looks up and he saw
Speaker 1: Young and his heart exploded saw this thick queen. He
Speaker 1: was like, yes, that's what I've been waiting for. This
Speaker 1: is the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. So he
Speaker 1: just had this big old smile in his face that
Speaker 1: he couldn't control. And Young it's like, oh gee, like
Speaker 1: so nice to meet you, and persh one Song, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's such an honor. And he's like, please call me
Speaker 1: Bill and she's like Bill and he's like, I don't
Speaker 1: care what you call me. What I'm sure His son
Speaker 1: Limo is thinking like okay, okay, okay, like awesome, I'm
Speaker 1: getting some good vibes between my dad and my wife here,
Speaker 1: very cool, very cool, very dream m h Well, Lima
Speaker 1: and Young Yajuan took off, but people took notice of
Speaker 1: these super hard vibes happening, and Juan Song still had
Speaker 1: one good buddy looking out for him at court. His
Speaker 1: name was gal Lisha, and he was this older eunuch
Speaker 1: who had been friends with Juan Song ever since he
Speaker 1: was a boy like this guy worked for his dad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so gals like bro I have not seen you smile
Speaker 1: like that since college. And if there's one thing that
Speaker 1: a wingman is good for, it's getting a man together
Speaker 1: with his daughter in law. So he booked Young a
Speaker 1: special session at this when fountains in the palace. She's
Speaker 1: like this gorgeous bathhouse and shewin song just happened to
Speaker 1: be there. As Young was getting out of the water.
Speaker 1: Legend says, his eyes sprang out of his head, his
Speaker 1: jaw dropped to the floor, his tone rolled out like
Speaker 1: a red carpet, and then he shook his head. How
Speaker 1: historically accurate that is a historical record. This is maybe
Speaker 1: more beautifully described and by Juey's legendary poem about these
Speaker 1: two lovers. So let's go down to poetry corner, and
Speaker 1: here is selection from by Juy's song of Everlasting Sorrow.
Speaker 1: If she but turned her head, there were cast a
Speaker 1: hundred spells, beauties of six palaces vanished into nothing. It
Speaker 1: was early spring. They bathed her in the flower pool,
Speaker 1: which warmed and smoothed the creamy tinted crystal of her skin.
Speaker 1: And because of her languor. A maid was lifting her
Speaker 1: out of the spa. This was when they first made
Speaker 1: it the beginning of a saga. Her cloud like hair
Speaker 1: was held by a gold hairpin, her face flowery. They
Speaker 1: spent the night under the warmth of a hibiscus canopy,
Speaker 1: but the nights of spring were short and the sun
Speaker 1: arose too soon. Lovely, you know those where it's just like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe it's morning already. This sucks. You gotta
Speaker 1: go back this night go on, and you gotta husband,
Speaker 1: you gotta get back to my son's my son. After
Speaker 1: a night in the hibiscus canopy, of course, Young is like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm married to your son, and he's like,
Speaker 1: oh jeez, lee Maw always cropping up problems, like yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to be in love with your mother in
Speaker 1: law too, but let's not make it weird. Don't make
Speaker 1: it weird. We would talk about that, but he's like,
Speaker 1: all right, lie, don't worry, I'll handle this. I got
Speaker 1: this now work Awhile later, Young and Limo got an
Speaker 1: order and it said, hey, congrats on your marriage and everything,
Speaker 1: but you're going to have to divorce because actually Yan
Speaker 1: has to go be a Taoist nun. Oopsie, sorry, I
Speaker 1: don't make the rules. Actually I do, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: By and she was given the name tai Jin, which
Speaker 1: means utmost truth or according to Google Translate, too true.
Speaker 1: Name is that's so weird, like just I'm going to
Speaker 1: break you up, so I'm ordering you to go be
Speaker 1: a nun, and now you have to get divorced, you know,
Speaker 1: that's how it works, Mary to a nun. Any sense
Speaker 1: that he can do that, that he can just tell
Speaker 1: someone you're a nun now, I know. Well that's ultimate power,
Speaker 1: I guess most power, but most power to power. As
Speaker 1: one song, was worried that people would think it was
Speaker 1: weird if he forced his son to divorce his wife
Speaker 1: and then immediately made her a consort in the palace,
Speaker 1: you know, so he buffered it with this none thing,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to be like, well, you're gonna go
Speaker 1: be a nun now, and then wait for people to
Speaker 1: kind of forget he did down, Yeah, and he waited
Speaker 1: five years she spent in that Taoist temple, and he
Speaker 1: felt like things had cooled off enough, and just to
Speaker 1: cover his bases, he sent lie Maw another wife, just
Speaker 1: sent a woman to him and was like, here's someone
Speaker 1: for you to marry. And then he's He's like, totally
Speaker 1: unrelated to that Taijen. You actually aren't a nun anymore.
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna be a consort. In fact, you're my
Speaker 1: favorite consort. You're now known as young Guifey Guife was
Speaker 1: the highest title for a consort under Empress. It was
Speaker 1: the same title that Wu held Consort wou So Young
Speaker 1: Guife enters the palace as his consort. No longer a nun,
Speaker 1: no longer married to Lee Mao, how longer his daughter
Speaker 1: in law? Yeah, just this little switcheroo. He's like, I
Speaker 1: gave you another lady, what do you want? And the
Speaker 1: guys like, is she one of the four great beauties
Speaker 1: of ancient Really now feel a little slighted, I'm sure,
Speaker 1: But of course has been so distracted with this nunnery business.
Speaker 1: How could he possibly have been an effective emperor during
Speaker 1: all this? Well, actually, spoiler alert, he wasn't. He was
Speaker 1: not very in control. Right now, who was running the show? Well,
Speaker 1: come on, everybody, you know who it was Lee lind
Speaker 1: fun And one of the first things that Leland Foo
Speaker 1: did was cracked down on criticism Previously officials were free
Speaker 1: to make proposals and comments, but now they weren't allowed
Speaker 1: to speak up or lind Fu would say they were
Speaker 1: undermining the will of the emperor. Classic royal advisor move right.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you can't talk to him. He told me
Speaker 1: what to say, and he said, you need to keep
Speaker 1: your mouth shut. I hate that so much. It's like
Speaker 1: any criticism can't be treason. That does not make sense. Now,
Speaker 1: if you remember in part one when Dwin Song was
Speaker 1: killing it, he had really cracked down on aristocrats buying
Speaker 1: political power and it really helped, like esher in a
Speaker 1: Golden Age and everything. But now with Lynn Fu's influence,
Speaker 1: the aristocratic party had firmly retaken control. But there was
Speaker 1: another guy slowly creeping through the ranks. His name was
Speaker 1: on Luc Shan, and this guy, somehow was even trickier
Speaker 1: than leland Fu. We will learn more about him right
Speaker 1: after these words. Welcome back to poetry corner as we
Speaker 1: hear more of the Song of Everlasting Sorrow. The Emperor
Speaker 1: neglected the world from that moment, lavished his time on
Speaker 1: her and endless enjoyment. She was his springtime mistress and
Speaker 1: his midnight tyrant. Though there were three thousand ladies, all
Speaker 1: of great beauty, all his gifts were devoted to one person.
Speaker 1: Her sisters and her brothers all were given titles. And
Speaker 1: because she's so illumined and glorified her clan, she brought
Speaker 1: to every father, every mother through the empire happiness when
Speaker 1: a girl was born rather than a boy. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: that's really something right there. Yeah, they saw young guife
Speaker 1: and they were like, maybe women are useful. Listen, if
Speaker 1: she fox the right person, we could all be up now.
Speaker 1: Before the break we mentioned on Lucien and he was
Speaker 1: descended from Turkish and Iranian ancestry, and his people had
Speaker 1: been going through some real strife right around the same
Speaker 1: time that Emperor Ween Song came to power. In Uen
Speaker 1: Song's early awesome days when he was doing a great job,
Speaker 1: he provided a lot of opportunities for non Han Chinese
Speaker 1: people to come in and make a living in the
Speaker 1: Chinese army. The Hans were like the Eastern Chinese natives
Speaker 1: right on. Lucian among others, had come to find a
Speaker 1: better life in China and working for the military. And
Speaker 1: this guy did okay for himself. He was aggressive and
Speaker 1: sometimes disobedient and At one point when he disobeyed orders
Speaker 1: and got all the whole squadron of his own men killed.
Speaker 1: He was actually set to be executed, but he was
Speaker 1: also pretty effective, so his general didn't really want to
Speaker 1: execute him, so he sent him to the palace to
Speaker 1: Emperor One Song to see what he would do instead.
Speaker 1: Kind of like, you go to the principal's office. I
Speaker 1: don't want to punish you myself, but we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1: Go ask your mother. Yeah, pretty much. One Song was
Speaker 1: already a little checked out at this point with Consort
Speaker 1: Wou and his ear, so he's like, uh, whatever, I mean, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the guy seems cool. Don't kill him, just strip his
Speaker 1: titles and put him back to work. So that's what happened.
Speaker 1: Lucian went back to service. He was a lot smarter
Speaker 1: this time around, and he rose the ranks quickly. He
Speaker 1: was also a very big dude, like huge. Historian Charles
Speaker 1: Holcomb wrote that horses died from his sheer weight and
Speaker 1: only the strongest could carry him, but he used it though.
Speaker 1: His superiors thought that he was obese, so he wouldn't
Speaker 1: eat in front of them, and that made them think
Speaker 1: that he was extremely disciplined. Others found him intimidating lee enormous,
Speaker 1: So I imagine you just like bulked around, like keep
Speaker 1: that up. And in other times he used his fatness
Speaker 1: to deliberately play the buffoon, and that made people really
Speaker 1: love him. They think he was a jolly old bear.
Speaker 1: He would let their guard down, so he was using
Speaker 1: it really effectively depending on what you thought of him.
Speaker 1: He was physical appearance. Yeah, he was so good at
Speaker 1: like manipulating what people thought of him for different situations.
Speaker 1: I want these people to think I'm hilarious and silly
Speaker 1: and goofy, and I'll do pratfalls. Yeah, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: look at my big belly, I'm son. And other guys
Speaker 1: he would just like stand over and they'd be like,
Speaker 1: your fifty pounds of person, I can't do anything to you,
Speaker 1: you know, And that's very scary. Now. Leland Fu, her
Speaker 1: squirrely little bastard, was basically running the empire now, and
Speaker 1: he liked what he was seeing in this young Lushan guy.
Speaker 1: Lin Fu didn't want to appoint Native Han Chinese generals
Speaker 1: because he was afraid they would rise the ranks and
Speaker 1: rival his own power. He knew that if he promoted foreigners.
Speaker 1: There was always something he could use against them, so
Speaker 1: they could never really overpower him. Xenophobia weapon weaponized xenophobia exactly,
Speaker 1: so he saw on Lushan and he was like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna help this guy rise the ranks. Various military conflicts
Speaker 1: were erupting all over. The Emperor was very distracted. Corruption
Speaker 1: was rampant at this point, and more military conflicts were
Speaker 1: breaking out all the time at every border of China.
Speaker 1: But Lucian was proving himself time and time again. Leland
Speaker 1: Fu would invite him to the palace regularly, and little
Speaker 1: by little, Lucien started to ingratiate himself to Emperor Song
Speaker 1: as well as his new favorite consort, Young Guif, a
Speaker 1: young now in her mid twenties. She was a talented
Speaker 1: singer and dancer. Jun Song is now about sixty years old,
Speaker 1: and he was a skilled musician, and together they created
Speaker 1: the rainbow and feather Garments dance, which is still performed today.
Speaker 1: You can find videos of it on YouTube. But a
Speaker 1: year or so after the emperors stopped her from becoming
Speaker 1: a nun and invited her in as a consort, it
Speaker 1: starts to become a little more clear why Young went
Speaker 1: through all that stuff in the first place, you know,
Speaker 1: she marries this prince, she has to divorce him and
Speaker 1: go live as a nun for five years. Like what's
Speaker 1: you know? Does she have an end game in mind? Maybe?
Speaker 1: And you see what happens. She was immediately elevated to
Speaker 1: the top consort position. That put her in the same
Speaker 1: position that Consort Wu was, where everyone in the palace
Speaker 1: is like bowing to her, treating her like the empress
Speaker 1: even though she's not the empress. And all of Young's
Speaker 1: family members started getting elevated positions in the government, in
Speaker 1: the military. Her sisters were all made ladies, her brothers
Speaker 1: were given princesses to marry parents empire wide, We're like, wow,
Speaker 1: it turns out women can be valuable. What a surprise?
Speaker 1: Who knew? So her bringing her young family all up
Speaker 1: into power that definitely rubbed some feathers. Like there was
Speaker 1: a lot of history with the Young family throughout various
Speaker 1: previous empires, all the way back to Woosa, Tiana before
Speaker 1: just you know, there's already drama with the youngs is
Speaker 1: all I'm saying. And one of her cousins was named
Speaker 1: Young Gudjong. This guy was a gambler and a lush
Speaker 1: and kind of a loser ultimately, but he was a
Speaker 1: decent financial administrator. Young Guifey got her cousin Gujong a
Speaker 1: position as a chancellor, very high ranking position. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: emperors one Song really came to trust him. But this
Speaker 1: guy was just as sneaky as Leland Fu and all
Speaker 1: the rest. Every year, on the seventh night of the
Speaker 1: seventh Loon or moon, for the Festival of the cow
Speaker 1: Herd and Weaver Made join, Song would pledge his eternal
Speaker 1: love to Young Wei Fee Festival of the cow Herd
Speaker 1: and Weaver Made. That's awesome. We have like fourth of July.
Speaker 1: Know that this festival is actually really interesting. It's there's
Speaker 1: these two stars in the sky that are normally separated
Speaker 1: by the Milky Way Strip going right in between them.
Speaker 1: And then I guess seventh night of the seventh Blue
Speaker 1: over a month or whenever this happens, these two stars
Speaker 1: come together on one side of it, so they're not
Speaker 1: being separated anymore. So it's this whole lover's holiday. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I guess the Cowherd and the Weaver Made were also lovers, yes,
Speaker 1: And I believe they were, you know, separated by something
Speaker 1: you know how does So that became their night to
Speaker 1: declare their eternal love for one another, and they vowed
Speaker 1: they would be together in all future lives, whether they
Speaker 1: were birds or plants, they would be side by side.
Speaker 1: But what night, Not during the festival, but when they
Speaker 1: had made some plans to enjoy the full moon, perhaps
Speaker 1: under a hibiscus candy bottle of wine, you know sexy
Speaker 1: times ut Song didn't show. He was as some big
Speaker 1: party with a bunch of other ladies. So young we
Speaker 1: Fae just started drinking by herself. We know how that goes.
Speaker 1: Hours went by, he kept party and she kept drinking.
Speaker 1: So when he finally shows up, she led him heaven like,
Speaker 1: excuse me, I am a thick queen and I will
Speaker 1: not be ignored for a bunch of skinny bitches in
Speaker 1: the Imperial Area. I'm gonna go to this bath house.
Speaker 1: You can watch, but you can't touch. How about? Oh
Speaker 1: damn well, Song don't like being spoken to like that,
Speaker 1: And he was probably also real drunk party and with
Speaker 1: his ladies all night, so he got real mad back
Speaker 1: at her and told her, well, fine, if you don't
Speaker 1: like it, you're gonna have to get the hell out
Speaker 1: and go live with one of your cousins instead. And
Speaker 1: she says, fine, I will and he said yeah because
Speaker 1: I said so, not because you want to. And she's like, no,
Speaker 1: because I want to. So she packed up all her ships,
Speaker 1: she moved out. Well the next day shewin song you know,
Speaker 1: light a day, super bad hangover. Probably he was inconsolable.
Speaker 1: He apparently just done a really shitty mood. He wouldn't eat,
Speaker 1: he was yelling at everybody, and he was feeling like
Speaker 1: a big piece of ship because he was a big
Speaker 1: piece of ship. Gal Lee Shi his unique friend who's
Speaker 1: you know, trying to hold things together. He went to
Speaker 1: him and he said, hey, uh, maybe you want to
Speaker 1: send her something nice and she one Song was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I probably should do that, and he like packed up
Speaker 1: a bunch of fancy food and sent it to her
Speaker 1: and like a bunch of the treasures and stuff that
Speaker 1: she'd had in her room. Here just starts shipping out
Speaker 1: gifts to make her feel better. And when Galicia was like,
Speaker 1: do you do you want to maybe do you want
Speaker 1: to maybe ask her if she wants to come back,
Speaker 1: Twin Song was just like yes, please please come back,
Speaker 1: and like brought her back to the palace. Good Galishi,
Speaker 1: what a good wing man like? Do you want to
Speaker 1: maybe like say you're sorry, Okay, you want to come back? Okay,
Speaker 1: let me go get her. Well from that point on,
Speaker 1: she's even more favored than before, if that's possible. Jwin
Speaker 1: Song claimed to love her more deeply than ever. She
Speaker 1: had hundreds of laborers sewing fabrics for her. Jwin Song
Speaker 1: had horses race through the night to bring her fresh
Speaker 1: light gee before they spoiled. Anyone who came to the
Speaker 1: palace had better not show up without a tribute for
Speaker 1: Young Guifee and that included a lot of treats and
Speaker 1: treasures from Mr on lu Shan, that big corpulent guy
Speaker 1: from the military. He is always coming around the palace
Speaker 1: just sweet talking the Emperor, passing along fancy gifts to
Speaker 1: him and Young guife He knows how to grease the wheels.
Speaker 1: And she loved this guy. He would come in do
Speaker 1: his dopey fat guy routine. She thought he was just
Speaker 1: a big, funny teddy bear right because like we said,
Speaker 1: he knew who he needed to like him, and he
Speaker 1: knew how to play different people's expectations. And remember he
Speaker 1: was also a foreigner, and he also played that up,
Speaker 1: especially to the emperor. He often told the Emperor things
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I'm just I'm just a big dumb barbarian.
Speaker 1: I don't understand you're clever, fancy ways. And when Song
Speaker 1: is just like you are the cutest, I love you,
Speaker 1: You're the best, come on back here. He called himself
Speaker 1: a barbarian all the time. One time I liked this
Speaker 1: story he refused to bow to the crown Prince Lisa Shun,
Speaker 1: and everyone was like, what you doing, buddy, And he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm just a barbarian. I
Speaker 1: don't understand what you guys do around here. And the
Speaker 1: emperor said, well, that's my son. He's the crown prince.
Speaker 1: When I'm gone, he'll be emperor. And Lucian said, I
Speaker 1: didn't think anyone but you could be emperor. Oh. And
Speaker 1: of course when Song was just like, oh you you're
Speaker 1: the best, My god, why do you think I'm a
Speaker 1: live Oh? Yes, he played it up. So One time
Speaker 1: when Lucian was meeting with young Guifee, he asked if
Speaker 1: she would be his adoptive mother, and she was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is adorable. I love it. Yes,
Speaker 1: let's do that. I've got a plan. We just got
Speaker 1: to convince the emperor that this is cool. But don't worry.
Speaker 1: She got all her ladies together and she brought him
Speaker 1: into the women's quarters. And the Emperor was walking by
Speaker 1: and he heard all these giggles coming from the women's quarters,
Speaker 1: so he pokes his head and he's like, hey, what's
Speaker 1: going on here? What's that pretty laughing at? And Young
Speaker 1: Cuife's attendants turned to him and they say, oh, Emperor
Speaker 1: Consort Yang has given birth and she's just washing her baby.
Speaker 1: And Emperors One sounds like, well, the are you talking about?
Speaker 1: And he goes in and they all step us, they
Speaker 1: all part, and sitting there on the floor is on Lucian,
Speaker 1: dressed in nothing but this giant diaper that they wrapped
Speaker 1: around him, and Young Cuife is standing behind him like
Speaker 1: scrubbing his shoulders. And ems Song sees this and just
Speaker 1: bust out laughing the funniest thing ever saw, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: And Young Qui face like, isn't he cute? I'm going
Speaker 1: to adopt him okay, andwin Song is just laughing it up.
Speaker 1: He's like, love it, go for it, get a little
Speaker 1: life into this palace, and Lucian gets up and he
Speaker 1: bows first to young Guifee and then to the emperor,
Speaker 1: and he says, quote barbarians bow to mother's first before
Speaker 1: father's andwin song like wipes a little tear from his
Speaker 1: eye and he's like father, my son, and he just
Speaker 1: like that's the greatest day of his life. That is
Speaker 1: so cute. You are hilarious. I've only got thirty eight
Speaker 1: other sons. Heard this story first from Noble Blood that's
Speaker 1: such a great podcast, and she recounted this story and
Speaker 1: she's like a lot of history and write about it
Speaker 1: very seriously, like she had him in a diaper and
Speaker 1: that meant that she was trying to say she was
Speaker 1: trying to do or the emperor was Danish sports was
Speaker 1: like you know that that they're human, right, and they
Speaker 1: just make jokes. First joke, they're just goofing her has
Speaker 1: nothing like there's nothing serious going on here, very un
Speaker 1: serious moment, the ceremonial tribute, this weird cultish metaphor, like
Speaker 1: it wasn't any of that that, No, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just a big joke. And they thought it was funny.
Speaker 1: And I really liked that about her. I think it's
Speaker 1: smart to think. You know, remember that in history you're
Speaker 1: talking about people, and there we've been making fart. A
Speaker 1: fart joke is like the earliest recorded joke, So don't
Speaker 1: worry people, we'd be goofing. But even though I felt
Speaker 1: like the best day of the Emperor's life, things would
Speaker 1: only get worse from here. And we'll hear it all
Speaker 1: in the thrilling conclusion coming up right after this Welcome
Speaker 1: back to poetry Corner, where will conclude a song of
Speaker 1: everlasting sorrow. A breeze in her gauze, flowing with her
Speaker 1: movement as if she danced in rainbow and feather garments
Speaker 1: so delicate, her jade face drowned with tears of sadness,
Speaker 1: like a spray of pear flowers veiled with springtime rain.
Speaker 1: She asked to thank her love, her eyes gleaming, he
Speaker 1: whose form and voice had been strange to her ever
Speaker 1: since their parting. Her joy had ended in courts of
Speaker 1: the bright sun. Moons and dawns were long in fairy palace,
Speaker 1: But when she turned her face towards the earth and
Speaker 1: tried to see the capital, there was only fog and dust.
Speaker 1: Oh foreboding m so it's seven two. The self proclaimed
Speaker 1: barbarian on Lucian is the adoptive son of Yan Guife.
Speaker 1: Emperor's win Song has built him his own mansion and
Speaker 1: spared no expense his son after all, gold staircases, jade
Speaker 1: panels on every wall, just like beautiful place carved panels. Yeah, Ivory.
Speaker 1: He also made Lucian prince of dong Ping, which was
Speaker 1: the first time he made someone a prince who was
Speaker 1: not his son. By burn, Lucian had some re way
Speaker 1: over these guys. Yeah, even like Young Guifas brothers who
Speaker 1: married princesses were not made princes, you know, they were
Speaker 1: just princess's Husband's not a bad thing to be. I
Speaker 1: know that I consider myself a princess's husband. You don't
Speaker 1: really get anything good out of it, I guess, no,
Speaker 1: nothing at all. Maybe one day I just have to,
Speaker 1: you know, be reminded that my wife's a princess. That's right.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of work, that's right. You do a
Speaker 1: great job. It's the work you were born for him.
Speaker 1: Oh jeez, il was new. My life meant something. The
Speaker 1: Young Guifas cousin Young gu Jong remember that gambler that
Speaker 1: she got a chancellorship. He kind of sucks, but he's
Speaker 1: sort of effective. He's locked in a power struggle with
Speaker 1: leland Fu and gal Leashi. The Eunuch is trying to
Speaker 1: hold everything together and keep dwin Song both informed and happy.
Speaker 1: It's not an easy job. Oh yeah, And at this
Speaker 1: point dwen Song is just like, I honestly don't want
Speaker 1: to hear about it. He told gal Alicia that, like,
Speaker 1: I'm old, I'm leaving all these military matters to my
Speaker 1: generals and the state matters to my chancellor's. You know,
Speaker 1: just let me know if I need to know anything,
Speaker 1: but I don't, But I don't. Lynn Fou at this
Speaker 1: point had gotten so powerful that he now also had
Speaker 1: a lot of enemies, and he knew it too. He
Speaker 1: was starting to get kind of paranoid because he had
Speaker 1: basically been playing whack a mole trying to keep people
Speaker 1: that he was afraid of from rising to power. So
Speaker 1: he'd be like, I don't like the looks of that guy,
Speaker 1: don't give him a promotion. I don't like the looks
Speaker 1: of that guy. Keep him down. And he'd done that
Speaker 1: so much that, of course some of them had slipped through.
Speaker 1: So now he's got people rising to power that he
Speaker 1: had already actively worked against. Now leland Fou was living
Speaker 1: in extreme luxury. He had one mansion in the capital
Speaker 1: city and he had one out in the country. He
Speaker 1: had twenty five sons and twenty five daughters, while he
Speaker 1: had a huge group of concubines. I just know, I
Speaker 1: just meant the exact that's pretty incredible. Maybe they started
Speaker 1: to get off balance, and he was like, get rid
Speaker 1: of that. Oh geez, I was thinking maybe. No. He
Speaker 1: was more like, I better have another kid so I
Speaker 1: can see what happens. And then he also, of course
Speaker 1: his sons in law all had positions in the government.
Speaker 1: His bodies were all in government. Like he had his
Speaker 1: allies rise into power with him, right, but Young Ku
Speaker 1: Chong Young guifas cousin, was also working to undermine leland Fou,
Speaker 1: and of course he had the Emperor's favor because the
Speaker 1: girlfriend was his cousin. And leland Fou's allies started randomly
Speaker 1: getting demoted, and this of course made Leland Foo lose power.
Speaker 1: Then some of Leland Food's buddies tried to start a rebellion.
Speaker 1: Leland Food wasn't involved, but he was associated with them
Speaker 1: and of course, who crushed this rebellion but yangu Jong.
Speaker 1: So the Emperor goes to leland Foo and he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: leland Food, these buddies of yours that just tried to
Speaker 1: rebel against me and lin Fo he tries to deny.
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, I don't know them. Who are they.
Speaker 1: I've never seen them before in my life. And he's like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I was only friends with his brother, and
Speaker 1: he was only kind of involved. He's not so bad anyway.
Speaker 1: He's just floundering, he's stammering, he can't really defend himself.
Speaker 1: So he says, hey, you know what, Actually I'm getting older.
Speaker 1: I think it's a point in my life where I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stay chancellor, but I will resign my military title
Speaker 1: and I'm going to go ahead and hand that title
Speaker 1: over to um. I don't know how about on lu Shan,
Speaker 1: your adoptive son that you love so much. He's pretty great,
Speaker 1: love hi. And the Emperor is like, oh, that's a
Speaker 1: good move. I like you, Leland Foo. You're safe for now.
Speaker 1: Then leland Fou became very sick over the coming months,
Speaker 1: and a sorcerer told him that if the Emperor looked
Speaker 1: upon him, he would be cured. Wow, modern medicine pretty sweet.
Speaker 1: I mean if you if you told anyone else in
Speaker 1: China that might be like, well great, I how the
Speaker 1: how the hell am I supposed to get there? But
Speaker 1: Leland Foods like, oh, I know that guy, lucky I
Speaker 1: got I got his number saved on my phone. I
Speaker 1: happen to know that guy. But while he was sick,
Speaker 1: another rebellion broke out from a guy that he had
Speaker 1: helped come to power. So when Juin Sung considered going
Speaker 1: to see Leland Food to try to heal him, the
Speaker 1: entire staff of the palace was like, probably a bad idea.
Speaker 1: He's kind of guilty, but association, you should not be
Speaker 1: any buddy with this worst friends exactly. You can't trust
Speaker 1: him well, and they think you know that the accusations
Speaker 1: he was involved, it's one of his friends, so right,
Speaker 1: So instead they had Leland Foo brought to a courtyard
Speaker 1: Where's wind Sung could just look down on him from
Speaker 1: a tower. A spoiler alert, did not heal him or
Speaker 1: make him any better, how many effect whatsoever? You're telling
Speaker 1: me that just having some guys stare at you is
Speaker 1: not an effective treatment for a serious ailment. I wonder
Speaker 1: if Leland Foo was like if he just come down
Speaker 1: the stairs, I know right and what it worked. You
Speaker 1: can never convince me it wouldn't have. So he's still
Speaker 1: real sick. He's like, oh, the end is near, you know.
Speaker 1: So Young Gujong went to see Lynn Fo on his deathbed,
Speaker 1: basically like take one last look right at his at
Speaker 1: his bitter rival throughout life. And Lynn Foo's like, oh,
Speaker 1: my old friends, We've had our differences whatever about but
Speaker 1: I can count on you, can I to just make
Speaker 1: sure my name and my family are you can care
Speaker 1: of after I'm gone. I love this idea like we
Speaker 1: were but we were friends. I mean, I know we
Speaker 1: were trying to kill each other all the time, but
Speaker 1: it was we were just kidding around, right, I think
Speaker 1: how the game is played respect and a joker. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we need each other without one the other, couldn't you know?
Speaker 1: You get it? So I can count on you right
Speaker 1: to just like take care of ship after I'm gone,
Speaker 1: you know. And Yengo Jong is like, oh, yeah, buddy,
Speaker 1: don't you worry. I will make sure your name and
Speaker 1: your family are super taken care of. And Lynn Fu
Speaker 1: was probably like that kind of a weird way to
Speaker 1: put that, and then died in late I love that
Speaker 1: His final words were wait a minute, that with a
Speaker 1: different tone. It's not comforting. Well. Emperor one Song, of course,
Speaker 1: bestowed all kinds of honors on his guy, leland Fuf
Speaker 1: to his death. He gave him posthumous titles and awards
Speaker 1: and all this stuff. He ordered a grand funeral with
Speaker 1: imperial guards and all the fancy bells and whistles, big parade,
Speaker 1: Macy's Day, floats of leland Fou's family members floating down
Speaker 1: the streets, you know, marching bands, Mariah Carey, was there,
Speaker 1: just a whole big event. Anderson Cooper Cooper say, Andy Dick,
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's not. Definitely, no one would watch that.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to see that show. But Goojong went to
Speaker 1: the Emperor and said, hey, you know that leland Fou
Speaker 1: was part of both those rebellions, right as one song
Speaker 1: is like, okay, I've heard it all before, but I
Speaker 1: can't really believe you. I don't know this is true.
Speaker 1: And Goojong says, oh, well, actually I brought a second
Speaker 1: opinion with me, and he's got none other than on
Speaker 1: Lucien that he convinced to corroborate the stories on Lucien
Speaker 1: goes and he's like, yeah, leland Fu was trying to
Speaker 1: rebel against you say, and that's his adoptive son, that's
Speaker 1: his big teddy bear boy. So he's like, oh, if
Speaker 1: you say so, it's like, but are you really sure.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys both would have reason to speak
Speaker 1: against him. And Kong says, oh, well, I got a
Speaker 1: third opinion here, and he brings in one of leland
Speaker 1: Foo's sons in law, who pops up and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. Yeah, right. So before the funeral could happen,
Speaker 1: Joen Song ordered that leland Foo's casket be split open,
Speaker 1: all his honor jewels were stripped from his body, and
Speaker 1: he was transferred to a regular commoner's casket, just a
Speaker 1: pine box, and he was given a regular boring funeral. Damn. Now,
Speaker 1: everybody hated leland Fu. I mean everybody knew this guy
Speaker 1: was the absolute worst. But a lot of people knew
Speaker 1: that this was an outright lie, that Lindfu was not
Speaker 1: involved in any rebellion, and they kind of thought this
Speaker 1: was a pretty pretty dirty to do this to a
Speaker 1: dead man after he's gone yeah, kind of feels like
Speaker 1: he got what he deserved a little bit. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you never get in trouble for the crime
Speaker 1: you commit. It's always they get you something else, gets
Speaker 1: you for something else. But hey, they out camponed him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they shure did they shure did? So? Young
Speaker 1: Gujong took over Leland Foo's position. Of course, of course,
Speaker 1: kind of the point, but by this time Lu Shan
Speaker 1: had accumulated three frontier provinces under his command. He was
Speaker 1: the single most powerful general in the Chinese military, and
Speaker 1: even though he had teamed up with Yong Gujong against
Speaker 1: Leland Fu, they were actually bitter rivals. That was sort
Speaker 1: of like the enemy of my enemy as my friend
Speaker 1: kind of situation was very temporary. Alliance. Gujong knew his
Speaker 1: best place to attack Lu Shan was at court, so
Speaker 1: he talked a lot of shit, and in retaliation, Lu
Speaker 1: Shan kept building up his forces, building building. Gujan could
Speaker 1: see this started to get a little worried. He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: this guy's got a lot of folks. So in spring
Speaker 1: of seven fifty four, he pulled his favorite move. He
Speaker 1: went to Emperor's One Song and said, listen, I hate
Speaker 1: to say it about your teddy bear boy. But he's
Speaker 1: definitely trying to start a rebellion. And he told the
Speaker 1: emperor that if he summoned lu Shan to court, Lucian
Speaker 1: would not come. And I don't know if he thought
Speaker 1: this was true, because this is a big gamble, right.
Speaker 1: But when Song sent Lu Shannon invite to the capital
Speaker 1: city of Chang'an and Lucian called Gung's bluff and did
Speaker 1: show up, he walks in, He's like, what's up, what's up?
Speaker 1: Why did you call me? What's going on here? I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta letters said, I'm supposed to come here quickly.
Speaker 1: What y'all need? Uh a rebellion? Excuse me me? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I have never in my life. I am
Speaker 1: heartbroken that anyone would suggest that that is. Don't you
Speaker 1: remember all the good times we had? Look at me.
Speaker 1: I'm just a dopey barbarian. I don't know nothing about
Speaker 1: no rebellion, and Song is like, that's it. I am
Speaker 1: sick of hearing all these rebellion rumors. I will never
Speaker 1: believe another accusation against my boy Lushan. He's the man,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to hear it. Don't even tell
Speaker 1: me this ship. Even when Sean's own son, the Crown
Speaker 1: Prince Lisa San, was a little worried about Lucian and
Speaker 1: all the power he was massing. I mean, after he
Speaker 1: was adopted, he amassed a force of two hundred thousand people,
Speaker 1: like he had. The army was basically his at this point.
Speaker 1: There was some imperial guards out there, but he ran
Speaker 1: the show. Yeah, so he's like, if he decided to,
Speaker 1: he could do it real quick. Yeah, for real, And
Speaker 1: why is he building that force in the first place.
Speaker 1: Song even considered making Lucian a chancellor during this visit,
Speaker 1: just to show him like, I'm sorry, I even accused you,
Speaker 1: but Goojong talked him out of at least doing that.
Speaker 1: When Lucian left the city, Chuen Song's Unich buddy galle
Speaker 1: Sha told him, you know, your boy was kind of
Speaker 1: grumpy when he left. I kind of wonder if maybe
Speaker 1: he heard about the chancellor thing and that you decided
Speaker 1: not to do it, and he's kind of mad about that.
Speaker 1: Piss Yeah, But at this point, Emperor's one Song seven
Speaker 1: hanging out with young Guife, and he left all control
Speaker 1: to his chancellors and his generals, right, So they're all
Speaker 1: stabbing each other in the back too much to do
Speaker 1: any good. Lucian even asked one song if he could
Speaker 1: replace all his Han Chinese generals with non Han guys.
Speaker 1: Now to everyone else, that was a clear sign of
Speaker 1: building a rebellion, right, probably that weaponized xenophobia coming back
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. I mean, I'm I'm removing all the native
Speaker 1: Chinese generals here and I replaced them with people from
Speaker 1: outside China that I like, you have very no no
Speaker 1: reason to be loyal to you. Yeah. But when they
Speaker 1: tried to bring up their concerns to Jwin Song, he
Speaker 1: was just like, I don't want to hear it. La
Speaker 1: la la la la. Okay, buddy, my teddy bear boy,
Speaker 1: you do whatever you want. And young Gujong, who had
Speaker 1: been failing spectacularly lately, he was losing all kinds of
Speaker 1: military conflicts at various borders, probably a little worried about
Speaker 1: his own position, but he seemed to think that he
Speaker 1: could take lu Shan as long as he didn't have
Speaker 1: the emperor's backing right, So Gujan is like, I've got
Speaker 1: to drive a wedge between these two. So he tried
Speaker 1: to goad Lu Shan into starting his rebellion. Early while
Speaker 1: Lucian was at his home in another city, Gujong arrested
Speaker 1: and executed a bunch of his staff members at his
Speaker 1: mansion in the capitol. Were totally made up. Cristy, Yeah, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll go after your house. Okay, that's pretty dark, I mean,
Speaker 1: really piss you off, all worked up. Obviously, we have
Speaker 1: to skip over or so much of the power struggle
Speaker 1: between these two here because of a part of the
Speaker 1: ridiculous romance, you know what I'm saying. But but it
Speaker 1: is just chaotic watching Good Jong is so wrapped up
Speaker 1: in his own power struggle a lot like Leland Fu was,
Speaker 1: But he wasn't as good as Leland Fu. Ad maintaining
Speaker 1: all his plates that he had spinning in the air,
Speaker 1: and he had like decimated the economy, the military like
Speaker 1: all through his own gain. He just let things crumble
Speaker 1: all around him. And of course the emperor was completely
Speaker 1: checked out. It was just everybody. It was just a
Speaker 1: grab bag for power at this point. Everybody was just
Speaker 1: reaching in and taking whatever they could. There was no
Speaker 1: cohesion in the government or the military. Very few people
Speaker 1: were trying to hold it together, and most of them,
Speaker 1: you know, Good guys were all getting taken out um
Speaker 1: bye by these bad guys. So I was getting pretty
Speaker 1: ugly and finally in from a combination of factors, from
Speaker 1: the fact that the empire was weak, uh, from the
Speaker 1: fact maybe that he had been dismissed as a chancellor
Speaker 1: and he did hear about that and got insulted by it.
Speaker 1: But definitely because Gujong arrested all his people and had
Speaker 1: him executed. On Lucian started his rebellion beon. Lucian rebellion
Speaker 1: is considered one of the deadliest wars in history. Some
Speaker 1: estimates say that between thirteen and thirty six million people died.
Speaker 1: What It's hard to pin that number down. One of
Speaker 1: the reasons that it's such a broad spectrum is that
Speaker 1: because they're going off of census numbers before and after
Speaker 1: the war, So they think that part of the issue
Speaker 1: is that after the war, they the country was so
Speaker 1: broken that they just didn't have the money or the
Speaker 1: manpower to conduct an accurate census, so they might not
Speaker 1: have gotten a good count, so it might have seemed
Speaker 1: like more people died than did But either way, millions
Speaker 1: and millions of people. Yeah. Uh. Anyway, fast forwarding through
Speaker 1: a bunch of very fascinating military history for another podcast
Speaker 1: on Lucia, and eventually took the last defensive posts that
Speaker 1: sat before the capital city. It was called Tongue Pass,
Speaker 1: and he declared himself Emperor of the New Yen Dynasty.
Speaker 1: With the capital city of Chang'an soon to fall afterwards,
Speaker 1: the Emperor Young Guife, her cousin Yong gu Jong, the
Speaker 1: Unit Galicia, and the crown Prince Lisa Cheng all had
Speaker 1: to flee the city. They took their imperial guard. You
Speaker 1: know I mean, is the emperor fleeing the cities. They
Speaker 1: took all his tents and his tea service, and they
Speaker 1: got the hell out of there as fast as they
Speaker 1: slowly and comfortably could. But On Lushan was actually really sick,
Speaker 1: and though he had sent his forces to capture chang On,
Speaker 1: he stayed behind in lou Young. He was nearly blind,
Speaker 1: he had terrible ulcers. Who's paranoid and angry, so he
Speaker 1: flogged his sons and generals regularly. Eventually, one of his sons,
Speaker 1: who was fighting for succession, went into Lucian's room at
Speaker 1: night with a sword. Lucian heard him and started trying
Speaker 1: to reach for a sword that he kept under his bed,
Speaker 1: but he flailed around and he couldn't find it. His
Speaker 1: son sliced to Lucian's belly open, and Lucian shouted, quote
Speaker 1: a thief of my own household, and died on the road.
Speaker 1: Fleeing the capital. The imperial guards were getting restless. They
Speaker 1: hadn't eaten in dates, They had left behind their homes
Speaker 1: and their families. Now, I don't know what Young Gu
Speaker 1: Jong said that was the last straw for these guys.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that he's sitting there like eating a burrito,
Speaker 1: and really tough, aren't they. The soldiers are all starving,
Speaker 1: staring at him like this fucking guy, where did you
Speaker 1: get the barrito? And they all turned on him. Now again,
Speaker 1: already a lot of history with the young family here,
Speaker 1: but they saw these guys unto power. Everyone knew what
Speaker 1: Young Gujong had been doing, which was failing, which was
Speaker 1: helping himself, and also goading on Lushan into this war.
Speaker 1: So they blamed him. They said, you know this is
Speaker 1: all your fault, dude. You pushed Lushan into this rebellion.
Speaker 1: You ruined our military, you corrupted the government, and right
Speaker 1: there on the road they killed him, his son, and
Speaker 1: two of Young Guife's sisters. Then the soldiers surrounded the
Speaker 1: emperor's tent. Juan Song came out and he tried to
Speaker 1: chill everybody out, say you need to disperse. Everything's cool here.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you killed Young gu Jong, who cares as fine,
Speaker 1: Let's let's let bags and we'll just well, we'll talk
Speaker 1: about this tomorrow. But they wouldn't leave. They were demanding
Speaker 1: to execute Young Guife as well. They said, she's the
Speaker 1: one who brought her family in here, She's the one
Speaker 1: who gave her cousin that position that ruined the empire.
Speaker 1: She's at fault for all of this. I guess they
Speaker 1: couldn't be like you cut this lady. I guess they
Speaker 1: can do that. After a lot of debate and anger
Speaker 1: and sadness, Song realized that he was not going to
Speaker 1: be able to save her. He requested that rather than
Speaker 1: executing her right there, she be allowed to go to
Speaker 1: a Buddhist shrine and be ordered to commit suicide. They accepted,
Speaker 1: and the unit goal lee. She escorted her. He then
Speaker 1: reported back that she hanged herself from a tree outside
Speaker 1: a monastery with a silken rope given to her by
Speaker 1: the Emperor, our spirits belonged together, like these precious fragments.
Speaker 1: Sometime in earth or heaven, we shall meet again. And
Speaker 1: she sent these words by the Taoist to remind him
Speaker 1: of their midnight vow secret between them. On that seventh
Speaker 1: night of the Herd, Boy and the ever in the
Speaker 1: Silent Palace, we declared our dream was to fly together
Speaker 1: in the sky, two birds on the same wing, to
Speaker 1: grow together on the earth, two branches of one tree.
Speaker 1: Earth fades, heaven fades at the end of days, but
Speaker 1: everlasting sorrow in tears always crown. Prince Lisa Shung went
Speaker 1: to the city of lyn Wu and he declared himself
Speaker 1: Emperor Suzong without his father's knowledge. But when Emperor heard
Speaker 1: about this, he just abdicated the throne. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds like a good idea. Um. He did stay
Speaker 1: on as the retired Emperor, which was a very powerful position. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know. Plenty of politics ensued after that. The capital
Speaker 1: city was retaken and Lucian's sons, who had assumed his power,
Speaker 1: were defeated. But the time dynasty never rose to its
Speaker 1: glory again. Wow everlasting sorry, no, and he was he
Speaker 1: was sad for the rest of his life, very miserable.
Speaker 1: It's sad too that he starts out so strong. He
Speaker 1: could have left this legacy of like this golden era
Speaker 1: and all this wonderful power and prosperity, and instead his
Speaker 1: legacy is his everlasting regret. He was doing a good
Speaker 1: job at the beginning there. We talked in the previous episode,
Speaker 1: probably largely because of Emperors Wong, who was his wife,
Speaker 1: and they seem to be really solid together. I mean,
Speaker 1: they got married before he was in power. But I
Speaker 1: think he just let it get to his head. He
Speaker 1: was one of these guys who was like, you can't
Speaker 1: be jealous of me. I'm allowed to I'm allowed to
Speaker 1: mess around with whoever I want and do what I
Speaker 1: want um and then yeah, I mean again. And also
Speaker 1: he just had all these people in his ear all
Speaker 1: the time, especially especially when someone's trying to not be
Speaker 1: a corrupt ruler. I feel like that's when the corrupt
Speaker 1: people come in and they're like, now's my time, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I can I got a blank canvas here to
Speaker 1: work with. Kind of it does seem that way a
Speaker 1: lot of the time, at least since you know, I
Speaker 1: guess in history too, but especially in fiction, and they're like, yes,
Speaker 1: righteous man can be led by the nose. As long
Speaker 1: as he feels like he's doing a moral or ethical thing,
Speaker 1: you can really get him to do some crazy shit. Interestingly,
Speaker 1: of course, we see that young Guife was led to
Speaker 1: a temple and then hanged herself. Galleicia the Eunuch told
Speaker 1: us so, right, right, Well, there is a Japanese myth
Speaker 1: that she actually escaped to Japan and lived there the
Speaker 1: rest of her days, happy and singing a song curvy
Speaker 1: and hut Derby and hut. Yeah, so that'd be nice.
Speaker 1: I like that, that would be nice. It feels wrong too,
Speaker 1: for her to take all the blame. Oh no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean there's one thing that she you know, she
Speaker 1: was definitely working an angle. She definitely was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll marry this old man to become the most powerful
Speaker 1: woman in the kingdom. But of course she did. Of course,
Speaker 1: she was looking out for her fam so she doesn't
Speaker 1: seem as conniving as wou like, not as planning and plotting.
Speaker 1: I think she was more just like, let me let
Speaker 1: me get my families, some nice houses and some nice jobs,
Speaker 1: and less like let me convince you to kill your
Speaker 1: own kids that mine can be the like. You know,
Speaker 1: she wasn't. Yeah, you're right, she wasn't as conniving, she
Speaker 1: wasn't as evil. She's probably more like one day I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be older and I'm not gonna be cute anymore,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna drop me like a hot brick. So
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna try to get what I can get
Speaker 1: while I can't. I could see that Solis hope she
Speaker 1: got out. Um. You know. There's various versions of the story.
Speaker 1: Others are that Galicia brought her body back. Um. Others
Speaker 1: say that after two months, the emperor sent men back
Speaker 1: to collect her body and it wasn't there, so he
Speaker 1: just built a temple in her memory. Um. So you know,
Speaker 1: hard to say. She might have gotten a way. That's
Speaker 1: what I would do. I would be like, yes, Galicia,
Speaker 1: take me somewhere where I can hang myself far away
Speaker 1: from here right by. Galicia would be like, you know,
Speaker 1: we can just he was always liked her, you know,
Speaker 1: send you over to Fiji. Yeah, here's fifty bucks. You know,
Speaker 1: good luck out there, more than Madonna had when she
Speaker 1: shut up in New York. Okay, and look what she
Speaker 1: did I don't know if i'd call Madonna thick queen. No, No,
Speaker 1: she's not. Who's so good. She's like the Lizzo of
Speaker 1: her time. Young we fake. Yeah, she's a little bit.
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. Um, yeah, it is cool. It's a
Speaker 1: tragic love story. It is tragic love story. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a bunch of people being dumb. I'm
Speaker 1: just mad at the Emperor's one song. I feel like
Speaker 1: he made bad decisions a lot of the time. Dick
Speaker 1: control him in a really stupid way. Is Dick and
Speaker 1: all the dicks around him and all the dicks around him? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like so annoying and and of course destructive
Speaker 1: when you have a ruler who does not seem to
Speaker 1: care about the responsibility of you know, you're supposed to
Speaker 1: care about a whole country. It's not just about you.
Speaker 1: I know, you get a lot of trappings and a
Speaker 1: lot of people kissing your ass, But you know, if
Speaker 1: you don't feel the weight of like, I could impoverish
Speaker 1: this whole nation. People will die if I make the
Speaker 1: wrong decision. If you don't have that in your brain
Speaker 1: at all, look what happens. You have an entire prosperous,
Speaker 1: stable country, broken into pieces by the end of his life.
Speaker 1: It's the trick where you know, sometimes you say I
Speaker 1: often think this myself, like the best rulers are people
Speaker 1: who don't want to be rulers. Um. But that's not
Speaker 1: really true because a lot of the times people who
Speaker 1: don't want to be rulers don't do their job and
Speaker 1: they just chill and they just absorb all the pleasures
Speaker 1: and none of the responsibilities. So you really just need
Speaker 1: someone who like wants to be a ruler, but doesn't
Speaker 1: want the perks, Like I like living a boring life
Speaker 1: in a in a in a loft apartment somewhere. I
Speaker 1: don't care about all the money and sex and drugs. Um.
Speaker 1: So if you're out there finding that guy, because I
Speaker 1: think the problem is you might feel that way and
Speaker 1: then you do get them and you start to be like, well,
Speaker 1: this is nice, so I'm used to this now I
Speaker 1: want more of that. You know, it's such an easy
Speaker 1: slope to fall down. I know I've quoted this on
Speaker 1: the show before. My grandfather had a saying and I
Speaker 1: agree with him, and it was what the world really
Speaker 1: needs is a benevolent dictator. But I just don't have
Speaker 1: the time. That's how I feel. Oh man, I'm too busy.
Speaker 1: But I love this story. It's I love this drama.
Speaker 1: I love the royal family shenanigans. Every time we get
Speaker 1: into these, it's so chaotic, it's so I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: we reduced this down to like four or five characters
Speaker 1: if you go to these sources, these books, a lot
Speaker 1: of Wikipedia because a lot of these translations, you know,
Speaker 1: are hard to find. But there's just hundreds of people
Speaker 1: all scheming against each other. I mean, Leland Fu had
Speaker 1: like nine or twelve guys all working for him doing things,
Speaker 1: and they're all getting exposed and killed and overpowering each
Speaker 1: other and stabbing each other in the back. It's chaos.
Speaker 1: I love it again. Need a big TV show out
Speaker 1: of this so we can really get the full scale.
Speaker 1: Or I guess you could read a book, but but
Speaker 1: I want to see it. It seems like maybe like
Speaker 1: a Korean soap opera because it will go on for
Speaker 1: like three episodes. Yeah, this could use. You would need it,
Speaker 1: and you would need it for sure. And the poetry
Speaker 1: was pretty too. Oh I love this poem. Um, it's
Speaker 1: hard to find, like one big, long stretch of this
Speaker 1: poem translated, but you can find pieces of it all
Speaker 1: over um and it's very beautiful. Yeah, you know, we
Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed this story too. You'll have to let
Speaker 1: us know. We just love hearing from you. So if
Speaker 1: you have any comments or question Jen's or anything you
Speaker 1: want to share with us about your favorite birthday, way
Speaker 1: to celebrate your birthday, or if you just want to
Speaker 1: wish Eli happy birthday, please reach out. Our email is
Speaker 1: ridic Romance at gmail dot com. That's right. You can
Speaker 1: find us on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Oh great,
Speaker 1: it's Eli. I'm at Danamite Boom and the show is
Speaker 1: at ridic Romance and we love you for spending your
Speaker 1: time with us. Yep. Absolutely don't forget to leave a
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts and that will be your invitation
Speaker 1: of my birthday party. We'll see you then catch you
Speaker 1: up the next episode. So long, friends, it's time to go.
Speaker 1: Thanks so listening to our show tell your friends names
Speaker 1: Uncle Sandance. To listen to a show ridiculous role means