1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the 2 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 1: Height and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, 5 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, 6 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and 7 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. 8 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go 9 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: get your tickets now if you want to come see 10 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: me perform. I will be on The High and Mighty 11 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: Tour every Christmas, Catherine, It's Christmas Day. 12 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 2: Merry Christmas, Chelsea. 13 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 3: So exciting. 14 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,479 Speaker 4: Jesus was born today or he died today. 15 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 2: He was born, so they say, I'm. 16 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: So excited about Christmas. Guys, I am such a holiday person. 17 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: I have a lot of gifts under my tree though, 18 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: because I have poopsies and woopsies and ooopsies coming my way, 19 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: so I've got to gift them all with their boyfriends. 20 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 1: Now they both have boyfriends, and the boyfriends have sleepovers. 21 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: So my house is turned into basically, I don't know, 22 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: I guess a sex house. 23 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 5: I mean, right, is it like it's obviously not separate bedrooms? 24 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 5: Is it leave the door correct? 25 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 1: No, I'm not, you know what. I just let everybody 26 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: do their thing. Everybody just I don't you know what. 27 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 2: I'm not the parent. 28 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 4: I don't make the rules. There are big girls whatever. 29 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: When at Chelsea's house, Yeah, yeah, come on over, have 30 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 1: a good time. By the way, I have like eight 31 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 1: people staying at my house for like three nights. 32 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 3: I don't know. 33 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 4: I don't have enough rooms, so people are going to 34 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 4: be sleeping with strangers. 35 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 2: I gotta tell you. Instead of an air mattress. 36 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 5: I don't know if you have these, but Coleman makes 37 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 5: cots that are actually very comfortable to sleep on. 38 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 2: I will send you a link. 39 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: Well, I mean I have the space, it's just that 40 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: people are gonna have to sleep in bunk beds that 41 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,799 Speaker 1: don't know each other and like I don't have as Yeah, 42 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: it's I always have bunk beds, always in every house, 43 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: smart in all of my homes. So who's our guest today? Oh, yes, 44 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: we have another. One of my favorite actors is on today. 45 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: She's an actor and a singer and a songwriter. She 46 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: has two new projects that you could catch her in, 47 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: the show Wayward with May Martin and her new movie 48 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: Goodbye June Wherein. They're both on Netflix. So please welcome 49 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: Tony Collette. And here we are with Tony Colette. Oh 50 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:41,399 Speaker 1: my god, one of my favorite people actresses. I love you, 51 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: and I hope you know how passionately I feel about 52 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: your I mean, listen, I'm not alone, so I can't 53 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: claim that I discovered you or I have some special 54 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: way to see you, because everybody loves you since we 55 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,959 Speaker 1: first found out about you. I think, Oh my god, 56 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: I know, I know. It's such a great introduction. 57 00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:58,399 Speaker 3: I guess I talk. 58 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: I can't sup poetically about you. And my introduction to 59 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: you was Muriel's Wedding, which of course is you know. 60 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: I mean I still quote that movie as along with 61 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: millions of other people. But in the past few years, 62 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: you have been churning shit out, sister. 63 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 3: You have been working your ass off. I've been lucky. Yeah, 64 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 3: yeah you are. 65 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nice to be working and it's nice to 66 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: be appreciated for the actor that you are. 67 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 3: Wow, that is an incredible introduction. Thank you so much, 68 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 3: far out. You're welcome. You're welcome, and you deserve it. Well. 69 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 3: I am a fan of yours also, as you know, 70 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 3: for those who don't know, we do DM each other 71 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 3: on Instagram. We have a kind of a funny little 72 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 3: friendship going on, and I'm so I actually thought we 73 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 3: were going to be together that of course you're in 74 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: Whistler because I've read your book and that's where you 75 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: like to be. But yeah, right back at you. I 76 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,119 Speaker 3: really really align with much of what you espouse. 77 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 4: Yes, we're both very political too. 78 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: We both are very much about posting and making sure 79 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: people know how we feel. So I of course respect 80 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: anyone who stands up for s so and I know 81 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: you do. And you've actually turned me on to a 82 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: couple of different Instagram accounts that I started following when 83 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: I saw your post about them. 84 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 3: So thank you for that. 85 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 5: Yes, and most recently you stood up for Paul Danoh 86 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 5: during this whole like weird. 87 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, what was that? 88 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 6: Was this? 89 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 1: Quitta Tarantino needs to shut the fuck up. What isn't 90 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: he already in trouble from a couple of years ago? 91 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 1: Like why is he feeling free about going after. 92 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 3: He's pretty weird? And also, Paul is incredibly talented and 93 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 3: the most beautiful person. Who does that? Where does it 94 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 3: come from? It's pretty confusing. Actually, what did you say 95 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 3: about Paul Dano? 96 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 7: Oh? 97 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 3: I just I just posted an image from that scene 98 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 3: that I have with him in Little Miss Sunshine, which 99 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 3: by the way, is twenty years old. There's an anniversary 100 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 3: screening at Sundance next month. Oh, that's so cool. That 101 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,160 Speaker 3: was a gret is a great movie, and he's wonderful 102 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 3: in it, And there's that moment where his character is 103 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 3: so passionate about becoming a pilot and then when he 104 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 3: realizes he can't realize that dream, he freaks out on 105 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 3: our road trip, pops out of the car, runs down 106 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 3: into a bit of a valiant, has a breakdown, and 107 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 3: I go down to try to communicate with him, and 108 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 3: it's completely heartbreaking, and he's wonderful. And all I did 109 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 3: was post that image from the scene, A pop, a 110 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 3: little crown on his head. Let's see it now. 111 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 2: He's an incredible actor. He's wonderful. 112 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 3: What was that movie that he did with Patricia? That 113 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 3: series he did with Patricia. 114 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 2: Escape from Dana Mora. 115 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 3: Oh God, should I be watching that? Yes? Oh my god. Yes, 116 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,799 Speaker 3: you need to see Paul Dano in that movie. 117 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 5: Okay, it's about he's an escape and there's like a 118 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 5: torrid like love affair, Like it's. 119 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 3: All spucked up. It's so good. 120 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 4: It's kind of reminds me of The Staircase, Tony. 121 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: Oh, actually it's as bucked up as the Staircase. 122 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 3: Oh, I know what your favorite scene is in the Staircase. 123 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,039 Speaker 3: You're referring to that. 124 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: I think that's how we first connected. Yeah, because I 125 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: posted a scene. What do you want to describe the scene? 126 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: Why don't you just say I would love you too. Actually, 127 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: let's take on it. This is a great scene in 128 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: The Staircase, you guys, which is based on a true story, right, 129 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: where Tony plays the wife and what's the actor's name 130 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: that plays your husband, Colin Firth? Colin Firth, Right, Colin 131 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: Firth is like accused of murdering his. 132 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 3: Or you know, it's it's up in the air. People 133 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:13,160 Speaker 3: don't know what happened. 134 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: You know, it could have been him, or it could 135 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: have been an attack by fucking birds. 136 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 3: So there's a scene in this movie. The retellvisible the 137 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 3: al attack for quite some time until I realized that 138 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 3: that talon mark changes when they actually grab onto what 139 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 3: they're aiming for. So it didn't quite match up with 140 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 3: that with that mark on the back of her head. 141 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 4: Yeah right, So wasn't a bunch of birds. It was 142 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 4: an owl. 143 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: She either she got attacked by an owl that led 144 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: to her death or her husband pushed her down the stairs. 145 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 3: So you decide just by listening to this podcast for 146 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 3: what happened. 147 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 1: But there's a scene in this movie where, first of all, 148 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 1: it's incredible. 149 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 3: I mean it's a series, not a great series, incredible 150 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 3: series by Antonio. 151 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,799 Speaker 1: There's a scene where Tony's in the kitchen, her characters 152 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: in the kitchen. 153 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 3: But so it's just cooking, just cooking it up and 154 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 3: being like, my husband has a gate tennes and he 155 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 3: wanders in and decides to just you know, whip my 156 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 3: pants down and have a good old felch. Yeah, that felch. 157 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 4: That's a new one for me. Yeah, it's a new 158 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 4: one for all of us. 159 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 3: I mean, I was so petrified about doing that, and 160 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 3: Paul Kate, my costumer, had to come in and like 161 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 3: pack the crack of my ass with like all kinds 162 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 3: of protective stuff so Colin didn't have to. 163 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: You know, actually eat ass, right, you know what? You 164 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: know what's so funny, It's like there, I don't know 165 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: of any other ass eating scene in any series that 166 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: I've ever seen, so I could because Patrick Schwarzenegger, another 167 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: person who's in this in this series, he and I 168 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: because he died when I posted that, because we're friends 169 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: and friends with their family, and he was just like, 170 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: oh my god, I go, it's just so out of 171 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: the blue, all of a sudden, there's an ass eating 172 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: scene in the middle of this, this drama about murder, 173 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: and you're it's very unexpected and shocking. 174 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 3: It was revealing about his character and what he was into, 175 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 3: and that, you know what the yes relationship and. 176 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: What your character was willing to accept in your relationship 177 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: as well. 178 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 3: We're welcome, I should say, yeah, I think she was 179 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 3: into it. 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, I didn't know that that was called felching. 181 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: I know, about boofing, but I didn't know about felching, 182 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: So now I know is it an as? Is that 183 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: an ausy slang or is that vernacular? 184 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: I think it's vernacular. But what's boofing? That's I would 185 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 3: for the same thing. Boofing is when you stick something 186 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 3: up somebody's butt and it's. 187 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 5: Just like like like alcohol or drugs, right usually. 188 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's like a popper or alcohol or drugs. 189 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: You can just like use your butt and it's called 190 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: a boof I only know this because I was at 191 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: a conference in Antarctica recently where I was on stage 192 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: talking about my love of psychedelics, and someone said, how 193 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: do you feel about boofing? 194 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,199 Speaker 3: You didn't know what it was like what I actually 195 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 3: had heard about it Antarctica. Had you been there before? 196 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 3: I really know? 197 00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 6: No? 198 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 3: Was it absolutely? Yeah? It was make you hot, just. 199 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: Like it made me want to stay there until this 200 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: administration is over. I was like, you know what they 201 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: said at this point? Yeah, they said, you're coming at 202 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: the best time. It's too it's light out for two months, 203 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: this is our summer. But it was majestic, tony, like 204 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: the icebergs when you when you're sailing like you're you're 205 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: on this vessel. Obviously you're going to through Antarctica from USHUEA. 206 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: We took this boat and you're going and they see 207 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: the first patch of icebergs in the distance. It's like 208 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: a scene out of Titanic where they see the iceberg, 209 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: but it's so massive. 210 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 3: It's like a land mass. You know. They're not like 211 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 3: just little icebergs. 212 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: There are those as well, but the first one that 213 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: you see when you pass like sixty latitude, Yeah, you're 214 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: just like and you're watching it for like a day 215 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: because you keep getting closer and closer and closer. 216 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 3: So it was pretty spectacular. How did you get invited there? 217 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 3: How does one get invited there? You have to be 218 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 3: a psychoedelic Another one of those, you know, silly little 219 00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 3: situations that I said to Bloody, wonderful, good for you. 220 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about a couple of things Tony. 221 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: For I didn't know that you were the first person 222 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,319 Speaker 1: on the BBC to have an orgasm. 223 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 3: What oh in wonder last I didn't know that either, 224 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 3: but they made a very big deal of that. Well 225 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 3: because it was the first one on was it first 226 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:25,319 Speaker 3: female or like left and right I'm sure a man 227 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 3: very proud of that. Wow, yeah, I forgot about that. Well, 228 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 3: how is any credit story? How can you be proud 229 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 3: of it if I just told you about it and 230 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 3: you didn't even know you were the first? Oh, I 231 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 3: just forgot about it. I didn't know about it. I 232 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 3: didn't I don't think of it every day. But yeah, 233 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: that show. Nick Payne's writing is incredible. He's kind of 234 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 3: a bit of a prolific playwright and dabbles in TV 235 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 3: and film, and he can write anything. Really. I just love. 236 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 3: What I love about his writing is that all the 237 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 3: space in between the words is so jam packed with 238 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: all kinds of information for you to mine. He's a beautiful, 239 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 3: beautiful writer. And that show was in incredibly liberating for 240 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 3: that character, potentially just for women in general. She was 241 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,319 Speaker 3: a woman who was discontented in her marriage and wanted 242 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 3: to explore things sexually outside of the marriage, and they 243 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 3: decide to open up their relationship and everything that goes 244 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 3: with it. It was really complex and beautiful. I loved it. 245 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 3: I really hoped we'd do another season, but it didn't 246 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 3: didn't quite fly. Maybe the female orgasm freak to the 247 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 3: audience out who knows. They probably weren't ready for that. 248 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: It takes about a thousand years after a male orgasm 249 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 1: for anyone to accept a female orgasm. 250 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, they exist. Sorry not sorry. 251 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: So you grew up in Australia, right, Yeah, in Sydney, 252 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: my favorite place. 253 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 3: That's my favorite harbor in the world because there is 254 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 3: very useful. Yeah, it's very pretty. Yeah, my kids and 255 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 3: we all got our voting licenses recently. It was wow, 256 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 3: brilliant cool and it felt so like freeing and adventurous. 257 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 3: Sometimes I do things and I'm doing it for a role, 258 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 3: and this was just like we want to do it, 259 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 3: and it was just the coolest. Yeah, can scoot around 260 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 3: the harbor now, Oh my god? How fun? And so 261 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 3: is your daughter leaving for school soon? She's she's actually 262 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 3: got the rest of you twelve to go, so yeah, 263 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 3: jish Yeah to that, she's might not. I'm kind of 264 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 3: She's incredibly creative and I'm I am supportive of anything 265 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 3: my kids want to do, and so I don't know 266 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 3: whether that's the trajectory she'll follow or aim for. You know, 267 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 3: all roads lead to Rome. At this point, it doesn't 268 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 3: seem to be for you have to be that, Yeah, Yeah, 269 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 3: I know what you're gonna say. 270 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: For you, I really do. Yeah, you love Rome, You're 271 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: always in Rome? 272 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well I worked there. I did a film called 273 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 3: Mafia Mama, which kind of was miss released. It was 274 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,079 Speaker 3: kind of a bummer because the film's bloody brilliant. It's 275 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 3: so funny and we had a ball making it. And 276 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 3: I mean, I'd always been to Italy. I think I 277 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 3: was actually talking to someone last night. The first time 278 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 3: I went there was on the Shaft press tour. It 279 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 3: was one of those big junk like press dos where 280 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 3: you go to all the countries and everything's late on 281 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 3: that just doesn't happen anymore. And then I married a 282 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 3: guy whose family was Italian, so we would be, you know, 283 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 3: in and out all over Italy. But then I got 284 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 3: to leave and work in Rome in twenty twenty two, 285 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 3: and absolutely I was like, this is my place, this 286 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 3: is where my greatest joy lives, and I just try 287 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 3: to get there as often as I can. I absolutely 288 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 3: love it. I've got a life there and friends and 289 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 3: oh isn't that so nice? Yeah? It really it very 290 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 3: much is. I'm so grateful for it. 291 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 1: I can totally relate. That's how I feel about Whistler 292 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,839 Speaker 1: and like me a America. I mean, I don't really 293 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 1: have a lot of friends in my Erica, which I 294 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: kind of like, I'm like, this is nice. And me 295 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 1: and myself with my thoughts, which I need more time with. 296 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: So you have two projects that we're talking about, because 297 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: one is A Way Word, which is a show that 298 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 1: just came out made my stars in also Mamue created. 299 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,319 Speaker 4: They are a great comedian. 300 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: They do a podcast, Handsome Pod with two friends of mine, 301 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: Tigg and Fortune. 302 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 4: Tell us about how you got involved in that project. 303 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 3: It was out of the blue. I just was told 304 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 3: about this script. It was sent to me. I read 305 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 3: and I was kind of blown away in a way. 306 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 3: Maybe it was under sold to me, but I was like, 307 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 3: this is actually really amazing, and so I was intrigued. 308 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 3: I didn't know where it was going, and it really 309 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 3: goes to places that you can't really assume at the beginning. 310 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 3: So I remember having a zoom with both May and 311 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 3: the other showrunner, Ryan, and I was just struck by 312 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 3: May's which is hilarious now that I know them, because 313 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 3: they just seemed so calm and clear and articulate, and 314 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 3: it's not like that at all. 315 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 2: Were they nervous to talk to you. 316 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 3: Apparently, Yes, yeah, when we're thick as these now, so 317 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 3: you know, it's cool. And actually there was another job 318 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 3: that came up at the same time, which was somewhat coveted, 319 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 3: and it became a bit of a dilemma. They were 320 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 3: both on Netflix, and I was like, oh, maybe we 321 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 3: can like work it out schedule wise, and that really 322 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 3: wasn't going to work, which I still don't understand. But 323 00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 3: I ended up doing Wayward and there's me like, Okay, 324 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 3: this is happening for a reason, show me what this is. 325 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 3: And it ended up being the most profound experience, really 326 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: really fun and really meaningful, Like it just was a 327 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 3: good time. A good time was had by all, like 328 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 3: a you know, a proper connected time with both the 329 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 3: cast and the crew and that cast of like you know, 330 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 3: multi generational cast, and just it was so brave. I 331 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: think May is this incredible unicorn who's creative in all 332 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 3: kinds of very impressive and admirable ways. And I'm really, really, 333 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 3: really so happy that I did it, and that I 334 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: know all of the people that I got to work with, 335 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 3: including May and Sarah Gadden. We're like the three Musketeers. 336 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,239 Speaker 3: Why do you think it was such a profound experience 337 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 3: because it dealt with a lot of really deep shit, 338 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 3: you know that isn't often addressed and done in a 339 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 3: way that kind of only May can do. May I mean, 340 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 3: I call them a unicorn. There's a singular kind of 341 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 3: very fascinating person there, and the show is highly original, 342 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 3: which is very unusual in twenty twenty five. 343 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious to know how you say yes to projects, 344 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: Like how do you discern which projects you're going to do? 345 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 3: Because I am assuming you get lots and lots of 346 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 3: offers and people want to work with you a lot. 347 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 3: So how do you. 348 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: Decide is it based on that material only or do 349 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: you factor in the other things like where it's shooting, 350 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: who's it for. 351 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 3: It's a combo, I have to say, But it has 352 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 3: to start with a material. It has to start with 353 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 3: kind of forgetting that you're reading a script, that you 354 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 3: get drawn into the story, and that it matters to 355 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 3: you beyond your own kind of career or what you 356 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 3: might be able to imbue it with. You know, it's 357 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 3: just about actually finding it fascinating and that there's some 358 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 3: meaning that I vibe with really, it's kind of that simple. 359 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 3: And then when everybody else starts to become impressive or not, 360 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 3: things can be clarified, but it's generally the script generally, Yeah, 361 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 3: right right, I. 362 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 4: Mean you've played every I mean that you're playing a 363 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 4: cult leader basically. 364 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 7: Yeah. 365 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 3: Fun, it's so much fun, which is fun. 366 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 1: And I was trying to think of, like, is there 367 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: a role that you haven't played yet that you are 368 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 1: dying to play, because you've really run the gamut. You've 369 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: had been in normal, healthy family looking vibes and then 370 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: very abnormal family vibesary I don't have. 371 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 4: Let me get get a snack for him, get a biscuit. 372 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 5: Well, while she's doing that, I wanted to ask your 373 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 5: character and wayward there. I mean, I'm curious where you 374 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:35,160 Speaker 5: channeled this performance from because your responses to people, I'm thinking, 375 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 5: if I'm another person in that conversation, whether it's like 376 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 5: a pause that's just too long, or the way you respond, 377 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 5: I'm like, I would be so uncomfortable, and I'm wondering 378 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,360 Speaker 5: how you channeled that. 379 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 3: At first, I really didn't quite know how to place her. 380 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 3: She's a woman of extremes, and the scripts were great 381 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 3: in that it wasn't clear where to play certain things 382 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,479 Speaker 3: like how big or how dark or how funny. There 383 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 3: were many options, like many choices to be made, which 384 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 3: is an absolute gift. So at first I kind of 385 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 3: was really embarrassing and if anyone ever sees it, but 386 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 3: I did a take which was like way too over 387 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 3: the top because I was just trying to figure out 388 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 3: where she sat in the scheme of things, and it 389 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 3: felt a little bit like, I don't know, like a 390 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 3: Marvel character, like an actual baddie, you know. 391 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 2: Sure. 392 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 3: And then we're working with a brilliant director Aeroslyn, who 393 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 3: actually worked with on this film called Dreamhorse, this tiny 394 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,880 Speaker 3: little Welsh film which is like the most moving, beautiful story, 395 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 3: and so he was directing it and just very quickly 396 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 3: kind of pulled me into the right area. It became 397 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 3: more and more delicious, just being able to play with 398 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 3: where she's fucking with people and how she enjoys unnerving 399 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 3: them and pushing them. But I mean, essentially it's about trauma, 400 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 3: and I'm a great believer of you don't deal with 401 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 3: this stuff, then you're kind of flying blind and it 402 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 3: is kind of a life that's wasted. I mean, you know, 403 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 3: we all have our own capabilities, but this woman was 404 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 3: forcing young kids into areas which were I mean, it's 405 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 3: very much considered malpractice. It was just like there was 406 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 3: no basis in anything good. It was just lots of 407 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 3: really great ideas but executed very very incorrectly and somewhat dangerously. 408 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 3: And I think the people involved were just lovely, you know. 409 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 3: And those Canadians, man, they're good, decent people. I know 410 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 3: they're still there aalzed. They're so civilized. My shoulders drop 411 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 3: when I get to Canada, and I know, yeah, it's 412 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 3: just so unwilling to help. 413 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: Everyone wants to help everybody when you do a scene 414 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: like that when you said, like, you know, your first 415 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: take was over the top and or whatever you were 416 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 1: trying to. 417 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 3: Place mortified by me? Now okay, sorry, sorry I turned up. 418 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 3: Let me go. Yeah, it feels like that. 419 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 4: Who is the person that identifies that? 420 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 6: Is it you? No? 421 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 3: Well? I ask, I'm like, have I fucked it? Am? 422 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,399 Speaker 3: I am? I? Way too? Have I? What am I doing? 423 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 3: Where am I pitching it? Somebody tell me something because 424 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,120 Speaker 3: I am lost. I'm very very collaborative, very open, very 425 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 3: happy to take you know, anything that will help from 426 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 3: anybody right. 427 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: Okay, So you also have a movie that I just watched. 428 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: It's called Goodbye June. You watched it, Yeah, of course, 429 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: of course, I do my homework. And it's a phenomenal 430 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: fucking cast of women. It's Keith Winslett, who is one 431 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 1: of my all time favorites as well, who also directs it. 432 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, she directs it. 433 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: I mean this is her directorial debut, right is yep, 434 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 1: very much, so very exciting. 435 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 3: She's in it. 436 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: Andrea Riseborough, who's fucking awesome, is in it, and Helen 437 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 1: Mirren is in it. 438 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 3: Dame Helen Mirren, I said, Andrews a firecracker. She's got 439 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 3: some of the best lines in the movies, like if 440 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 3: you don't stop clicking that fucking pen, I'm going to 441 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:48,960 Speaker 3: punch that cock off your body. Like she's so angry. Oh, 442 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 3: but there's so much hurt underneath it, which is the 443 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,359 Speaker 3: great thing about the writing all the characters. It's so 444 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 3: funny because you know, you grow up under the same 445 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 3: roof and you have the same experiences, and then you 446 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 3: just turn out so so differently to each other. Siblings 447 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 3: are just so diverse and have these similar experiences, but 448 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 3: just like they're so different, so I play the kind 449 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 3: of woo woo. I guess I felt like potentially I 450 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 3: was roped into being a third parent because I was 451 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: the eldest child. Everything felt too en mesh. So I 452 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 3: just move away, and I'm this journeying woman on a 453 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,160 Speaker 3: kind of you know, an experience of searching out, seeking 454 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 3: things and trying to become one with the cosmos. Constantly 455 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 3: wears crystals in her bra and has an alternative lifestyle 456 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 3: and is into that kind of thing, which I love 457 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 3: because I just appreciate people who have the guts to 458 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 3: just basically be themselves and live an authentic life. It 459 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 3: makes my stomach feel relaxed, because when you have a 460 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 3: guessing game with people, it's two anxiety inducing. So I 461 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 3: absolutely love my character so colorful. I hated taking her 462 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,679 Speaker 3: costume off at the end. I didn't want to let go, 463 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 3: and I just didn't want to let go of it 464 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 3: because it was an amazing experience. So Andrew's character is 465 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 3: really really fucking angry at Kate Winslet's character. They were 466 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 3: really tight Kate. All she did as Julia was grow 467 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 3: up and leave home, and Andrea felt abandoned and has 468 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 3: been carrying around all kinds of resentment ever since. And 469 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 3: then Johnny Flynn, the wonderful Johnny Flynn, who plays our 470 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 3: younger brother, the baby in the family, Connor still lives 471 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 3: at home, kind of can't get his shit together, you know, 472 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,199 Speaker 3: low self esteem, not much confidence, a bit like, you know, 473 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 3: just can't get going in life. And then Helen Miren 474 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 3: plays the matriarch of the family, our beautiful mother who 475 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 3: is nearing her death, and we all come together to 476 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 3: help her move into this next state of existence, the 477 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 3: ultimate change, the big transition. Our dad is played by 478 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 3: the wonderful Timothy's Ball and man, it was just the best. 479 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 3: Kate is an incredible director. I don't I didn't ever 480 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 3: doubt it. First of all, let me say I had 481 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 3: always wanted to work with her. You do interviews and 482 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,239 Speaker 3: always get asked who's the top of your bucketst who 483 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 3: would you want to work with? And I always said 484 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 3: Kate because I just find that her choices are incredible. 485 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 3: You don't see her. It's completely honest, and she has 486 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 3: such integrity, and she's so grounded and real, and I 487 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 3: felt like I knew her. We had this mutual friend. 488 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 3: And now honestly I feel like she's my sister, like 489 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,199 Speaker 3: we were always meant to be in this kind of 490 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 3: familial kind of relationship with each other. I absolutely adore 491 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 3: her and she created the most incredible atmosphere on set. 492 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 3: It was just so freeing and full of trust, and 493 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,200 Speaker 3: it felt so safe. I mean, they're navigating possibly, well 494 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 3: maybe one of the most challenging experiences that we actually 495 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 3: all will face, and it's you know, there are some 496 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 3: really big, vulnerable scenes, and it just felt like we 497 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 3: could try anything, and we all gave it our all. 498 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 3: It was a very very special experience that none of 499 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 3: us wanted to let go. And we're still like on 500 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 3: a family chat. You know, most of us are in 501 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 3: New York here and we don't we don't want to 502 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 3: say goodbye as the movie goes off into the world. 503 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 3: But it's a beautiful story about family and yes it's 504 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 3: about loss, and yes you will definitely need your Kleenex, 505 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 3: but you will laugh as well. It's so relatable and 506 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 3: you know, there are some zingers in there. It's it's 507 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 3: a it's an uplifting, kind of heartwarming, life affirming story. 508 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 3: It's very very special. 509 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 1: It is it's funny what you say about you know, 510 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 1: growing up and having a different experience. I know, there's 511 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: Gabor Mattee or. 512 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love him, He's incredible. 513 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: He always talks about that because I always look at 514 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 1: because I'm one of sex. 515 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 3: I always look like my god, waity fool. Sorry, young 516 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 3: of course you're the baby. I'm the eldest. Very different 517 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 3: experience of how many tony only three? Only three? 518 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: But it runs in threes, like if you've read have 519 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,480 Speaker 1: you read birth order or the sibling effect or birth order? 520 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 3: No, but I do subscribe to those ideas. Yeah, I 521 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 3: will read them. Actually, it goes in threes. 522 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 1: It's like oldest, middle, youngest, and then repeat, repeat, repeat 523 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: with that, it's a. 524 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 3: Sandwich, right, sandwich, sandwich sandwich. 525 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 1: Because I'm always like, listen, there's nobody else in the 526 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: world that knows what happened in our house besides my 527 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters, and we're all like yeah, like we 528 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: make a reference and we're like, yeah, we didn't get picked. 529 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,959 Speaker 4: Up on time either. Our car our house was embarrassing. 530 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,919 Speaker 1: My dad had used cars strewn throughout the driveway. My 531 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 1: mom never went to any like public facing school, Like 532 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: she wouldn't come to a play or a softball game 533 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: or a conference. 534 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 4: She just couldn't handle the other parents. 535 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 3: She's probably just overwhelmed and exhausted having had six children. 536 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,239 Speaker 3: I think I'm going to take a bath while you're 537 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 3: all out. She need some lexapro, I think, and she 538 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 3: forgot to get it. So I think that was the 539 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 3: main ingredient. But it is interesting watching this movie. 540 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 1: Goodbye Junia was very much about family dynamics and very 541 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: relatable to anybody who has brothers or sisters, especially during 542 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: that time, because the everyone has a different reaction to 543 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: what's going on, and some people can deal with the 544 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: reality of the situation, whereas others are in complete denial 545 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,359 Speaker 1: of the situation. 546 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody handles grief differently. There are no rules, and 547 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 3: actually I think it's something that should teach in school. 548 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 3: We don't know how to do it, and it's going 549 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 3: to happen to all of us, you know, chaos. Family 550 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 3: is chaos at times, and it's gorgeously so. And there 551 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 3: are just these very real moments that are fucking completely heartbreaking. 552 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 3: And if I'm here in London, I couldn't. I've seen 553 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 3: the movie. I was there. I know what's happening. I 554 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 3: was the last person to leave the cinema. I was 555 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 3: like racked. My body was convulsing. I was crying so much. 556 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,120 Speaker 3: It just is very very powerful for a very intimate, 557 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 3: very quick shoot, very kind of probably on the page 558 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 3: seemed like a small story, but it's dealing with the 559 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 3: biggest thing death, life, life and death and love and 560 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 3: family like all of it. It's all of it. 561 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: I remember that his reaction in this movie reminded me 562 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: when my mom passed away. 563 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 3: My dad. We were all in the room. 564 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: We were in a hospice and my dad was sitting 565 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 1: there and you know, we knew her she had passed, 566 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: and like we're all just kind of together, and my 567 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: dad said, I got to go show a car to 568 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: a client, like some some random and like we all 569 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 1: looked up at him and we just had no reaction. 570 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 1: We were like okay, okay. And then he goes and 571 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: I need a suit for the funeral, and so can 572 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,439 Speaker 1: one of you do something? And we're like yeah, And 573 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: then he laughed, and I was like, I wonder what 574 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 1: happens to him when he gets in his car. And 575 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,400 Speaker 1: then my sister's like, he's not our problem right now. 576 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: But it's so true that men's and women's reactions to 577 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: things are so it can be so surprising, but then 578 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: once you see it, you understand the. 579 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 3: All process things differently, and there needs to be room 580 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 3: for that, and maybe there needs to be a bigger, 581 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,439 Speaker 3: more accepting conversation around it, because in the West we 582 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 3: don't really We kind of shy away from it, almost 583 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 3: as if it's to be like, oh no, that's you know, 584 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,719 Speaker 3: pretending it's not gonna happen. It's gonna happen. Can't get 585 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 3: out alive. Maybe this is a healing film. Maybe it'll 586 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 3: start great conversations about being more And actually, when I 587 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 3: was younger, I was really angry at life. I was 588 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 3: I was like, this is a this is a fucking 589 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 3: mean joke. What is going on? What are we doing here? 590 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,679 Speaker 3: And it took a very long time for me to 591 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,439 Speaker 3: accept and appreciate the mystery of life. But I think 592 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 3: once you have the context of life, you appreciate it more. 593 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 3: I don't know, it helped me live more fully or something. 594 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 3: I don't know. And what do you think gave you 595 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 3: the context of life? Life itself? I think you get 596 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 3: given everything you need eventually. I like that, I know 597 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 3: you did that show. Who do you think you are right? Oh, yes, 598 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 3: I did. Yeah, I did that show too. How you 599 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 3: when did you do it? Oh years ago? Probably fifteen 600 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 3: years ago? Oh wow, okay, yeah, yeah I did in 601 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 3: Australia obviously that's where I'm from, and I was like, oh, 602 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 3: this is amazing. It's going to go back generations. It 603 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 3: went to my grandparents, like two generations. Well you are 604 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 3: from Australia, so but it's colonized. I mean, we're Irish 605 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 3: and apparently you know, there was a big journey to 606 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 3: get there. But it was incredibly moving. It was just 607 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 3: not what I expected. You know, It's like there's a 608 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 3: lot of trauma in there. Yeah. 609 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 5: Were there any surprises, Well, my dad's dad is not 610 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 5: who was told he was. 611 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 6: Oh oh wow. 612 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 3: My dad did a a a DNA test with his 613 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 3: brother who was alive at the time, and found out 614 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 3: that his dad was not his dad, which he'd always 615 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 3: kind of questioned. We still don't know for sure who 616 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 3: my Nuan had a fling with, but I kind of 617 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,479 Speaker 3: felt really impressed with her too. Yeah. She just clearly 618 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 3: wasn't happy and found happiness elsewhere. And my dad and 619 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 3: I are alive because of that. I am your her joy. 620 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,719 Speaker 3: You know, it's a good way to look at it. 621 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,479 Speaker 3: I'm sure it's way more complicated than that, but that's okay. 622 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 3: It's nice. Every story is the love story at some point, 623 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:34,960 Speaker 3: I agree. 624 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,479 Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a break and then we're 625 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 4: gonna come back with callers. 626 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 3: We have people calling you. 627 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: I'm so excited about this. Okay, right back with Tony Collatt. 628 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: Cheers and we're back with Tony Colat. 629 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 4: Okay, Catherine, what do we have going on today? 630 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 5: Well, our first question comes from Rachel, and I thought 631 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 5: you might have some insight into this, having gone through 632 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 5: the preteen ages with a couple of year kids. So 633 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 5: she says, dear Chelsea, I'm an American living in Mexico. 634 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 5: Not those idiots who move here to avoid paying taxes 635 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 5: or create travel Mexico tiktoks. I moved here over ten 636 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 5: years ago to work at an NGO that helps low 637 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 5: income families actually leave poverty. 638 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 3: Incredible person right there. 639 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 5: Anyway, about three months into living here, I met my 640 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 5: husband and now we have two kids, an eleven year 641 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 5: old girl and a five year old boy. 642 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 2: The eleven year old is. 643 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 5: From a previous relationship. Quite the telenovella, which is a 644 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 5: whole other story. But I have been in her life 645 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 5: since she was three months old. His daughter and I 646 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 5: have always been very close, but since my son was 647 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 5: born five years ago, I feel like our relationship has 648 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 5: drastically changed. She's becoming a tween slash preteen, and I 649 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 5: know what comes with the territory, but this feels different. 650 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 2: She hardly talks to me anymore. 651 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 5: Even if I ask her questions, she will give me 652 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 5: a very short answer or just shrug. 653 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 2: She's so different with her father. 654 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 5: She's a daddy's girl, so I don't take it personally, 655 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 5: But when he asks the exact same questions, she tells 656 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 5: him everything. I can't help but think she just doesn't 657 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 5: want anything to do with me. I've tried asking her 658 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 5: if she's mad at me or thinking about something else, 659 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 5: and she just brushes it off. I don't know what 660 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 5: to do anymore. My husband hardly helps, saying it's just 661 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 5: a phase. Am I the wicked stepmother that she doesn't 662 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 5: want in her life? Should I just blame it all 663 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 5: on teenage hormones? What do you think I should do 664 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 5: to keep the closeness we used to have? Asta Luego Rachel. 665 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 3: Oh, I can completely understand that concern specially if it's 666 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 3: been close. Are you Rachel right there? Yeah, Hello, Hi, 667 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 3: so nice to meet you. That's too How long has 668 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 3: this been going on? Sorry? I did was that in 669 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 3: the letter? 670 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 7: So when she was born we had the very close connection, 671 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 7: and then my son was born five years ago, he's 672 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 7: five years old now she's eleven, and that connection kind 673 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 7: of dwindled, like because I think my son was born, 674 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 7: she kind of felt that my motherhood kind of went 675 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,720 Speaker 7: to him more than her, and so it's just kind 676 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 7: of been rocky. 677 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,440 Speaker 3: I don't think this is an uncommon story. I'm just 678 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 3: gonna say that, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think when another 679 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 3: sibling comes along, it's inevitable in a need to give 680 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 3: that new person so much more attention, and yeah, the 681 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 3: existing child can feel somewhat abandoned, right, So you're everything 682 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 3: to them and they get all your attention, and then 683 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 3: there's a split focus. I kind of attend to agree 684 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,800 Speaker 3: with your partner. Life keeps changing, and I think potentially 685 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 3: it really is a phase, and you can help her 686 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,640 Speaker 3: feel safe in the connection again and maybe have someone 687 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 3: on one time together and it will continue to change. 688 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 3: There are so many phases. Yeah, yeah, I. 689 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 4: Have a question. Is she is her mother in the picture? 690 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? I was gonna ask that too. 691 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 7: Yeah, so her mom lives like five minutes from us. 692 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 7: We have a really good relationship, and so that's kind 693 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 7: of it too, Like I don't want to kind of 694 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 7: force her to call me mom or do those things, 695 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 7: you know, I don't want that to be an issue. 696 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 7: But I also, like there is one thing I was 697 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 7: telling Katherine in the pre interview, like we had a 698 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 7: Mother's Day event at her school, and all of the 699 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 7: kids like wrote their mom's name on her heart and 700 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 7: they like threw it up when they were singing, and 701 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 7: she wrote her mom's name obviously because it's her mom. 702 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 7: But I was hoping like maybe she would turn the 703 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,840 Speaker 7: card and have my name on it. And it didn't, 704 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 7: and it was like kind of it was hurt. But 705 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 7: I'm not going to tell her that because those are 706 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 7: my emotions, you know. 707 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 3: No, no, don't put that stuff on her. 708 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,840 Speaker 1: She's eleven years old, so her emotions are just like 709 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 1: not they're not that sophisticated. She's like coming from like 710 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:29,280 Speaker 1: you know, fear based and like, so she doesn't have 711 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 1: abandonment issues, which is why I asked if her mom 712 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 1: was in the picture. So one more question is she 713 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 1: what's her relationship like with your five year old? 714 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 7: They're great, Like, they get along super well. She's very 715 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 7: caring for him, kind of like that older sibling who 716 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 7: always wants to make sure he's okay. 717 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:45,959 Speaker 2: So they have a great relationship. 718 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 3: It's really interesting. She has a great relationship with her 719 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 3: biological mother and the younger kid. Sometimes they feel they 720 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 3: can express all the shitty, crappy feelings and project it 721 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 3: onto the person they actually feel the same. 722 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,960 Speaker 2: Tweet, Yeah, that is true. 723 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,720 Speaker 4: She is she disrespectful to you or just distant? 724 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 7: No, just distant. And it's like sometimes I've talked to 725 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 7: her mom about it, and her mom's like, she does 726 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 7: it to me too. Sometimes she's just like see see. 727 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,319 Speaker 7: And I think because we have her part time when 728 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,799 Speaker 7: she's with us, she wants to spend as much time 729 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,200 Speaker 7: as she can with her dad, which makes sense. But 730 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,879 Speaker 7: I think I need to kind of squeeze in there 731 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 7: and be like, Okay, can I have a day or 732 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 7: two so that her and I can come back and 733 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 7: connect and do stuff together. 734 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: I would say also like back off a little bit 735 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,239 Speaker 1: and let her come to you a little bit more, 736 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 1: but definitely exploit the. 737 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 4: Relationship between your son and her. 738 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: Make sure that that's a primary focus, so that she 739 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: constantly feels needed you know what I mean, and feels 740 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:47,919 Speaker 1: purposeful in your mind. Like she's probably starting to get 741 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,560 Speaker 1: to an age where she's like, oh, you know, I 742 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: can understand her feeling competitive with a five year old, 743 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: but she's not taking it out on him, and to 744 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 1: take it out on you is a little strange. So 745 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,399 Speaker 1: you should be available to her, like always make sure. 746 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: But sometimes when people push you away, it's like give 747 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: them double space, not to be childlike or act immature, 748 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 1: but as it's like, oh, she needs a little space 749 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 1: right now, let her have her space because it's an 750 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,280 Speaker 1: age thing. She's gonna come back around when she needs 751 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 1: something from you, or she needs advice that maybe she 752 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 1: can't go to her mother for or something. You know, 753 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: something's gonna happen where she is going to need you. 754 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: But I know, definitely when kids that age are going 755 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: through that emotion that like changing and they're coming into 756 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,239 Speaker 1: their hormones and puberty and all of that shit. 757 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,920 Speaker 3: You can't just don't how effective that is. It's big. Yes, 758 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,959 Speaker 3: these really do change for them. This like the whole 759 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 3: world is like a like a moving you know. 760 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 4: Yes, so your job is to really just not take 761 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:43,080 Speaker 4: it personally. 762 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,800 Speaker 1: Like you're an adult and you're the adult in the situation, 763 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 1: so you need to take it not personally like, oh, 764 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: she's not into me for this period of time in 765 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 1: her life. It is a phase. It's always a phase. 766 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 1: Everything in life is a phase. There's nothing permanent. 767 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,320 Speaker 3: But yeah, just give her extra space and be mindful 768 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,000 Speaker 3: of the case. It's relationship. It's important that she you know, 769 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,399 Speaker 3: she's the big sister. She's the one that can make 770 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,760 Speaker 3: decisions when you're not around, you know, kind of putting 771 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,799 Speaker 3: some responsibility into her hands so she feels really purposeful 772 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 3: within the family unit. 773 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 7: Okay, No, that's great advice. No, thank you so much. 774 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, great, thanks for taking my question. 775 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,799 Speaker 7: You guys, it was great to meet you. 776 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: Love make love lady, see soon, take care bye bye. 777 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:27,800 Speaker 3: That was cute. 778 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 2: I know she's such a cutie. 779 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 3: That was sweet. Yeah, it's so nice. 780 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 1: You know, mothers trying to be better mothers, and stepmother 781 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 1: is trying to be better mothers. I'm out here and 782 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: trying not to get any children. More children in my life, 783 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,320 Speaker 1: So magnet. 784 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 3: There's the reason. The more you say no, the more 785 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 3: they want you. That's very interesting. Yeah, she I mean 786 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 3: the fact that she's so mindful and caring and wants 787 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 3: to make it grite is beautiful. 788 00:36:55,080 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 5: That's not wicked stepmother energy. She's Yeah, so is Noah. 789 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 5: And he says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Noah and 790 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,879 Speaker 5: I'm nineteen years old. I'm not going to say I'm gay, 791 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,360 Speaker 5: because you already know that since I listened to this podcast. 792 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 5: You are a badass. I live in a mid sized 793 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 5: town in Maryland. I'm currently a college student studying for 794 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,680 Speaker 5: a Bachelor of Fine Arts and Acting. I have dreams 795 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,120 Speaker 5: of becoming an actor, and I've always seen myself living 796 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,920 Speaker 5: in Los Angeles. The problem is I have an incredibly 797 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,800 Speaker 5: close knit family with three younger siblings and two parents 798 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 5: who am very close to I'm a homebody and I've 799 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 5: never really liked to leave home or even sleep away 800 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 5: or really do anything on my own. So my question 801 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 5: for you is how do I prepare to make such 802 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 5: a big move to another coast to fulfill my dreams. 803 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 5: I still have a couple more years of college, so 804 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 5: this isn't an issue that's urgent, But how do I 805 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 5: become independent, self reliant and okay to live so far 806 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 5: away from people I love so much? 807 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,600 Speaker 3: Love noah, Oh, how bloody wonderful that you love your 808 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 3: family so much and there's that connection and support and 809 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,840 Speaker 3: that you feel completely cozy with them. A lot of 810 00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,720 Speaker 3: people want to get. 811 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,840 Speaker 6: Out, thank you, thank you very much. 812 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: I left home at nineteen because I just couldn't wait 813 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: to get the fuck out of there. 814 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 4: So my situation is different. I was the youngest, you're 815 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:09,280 Speaker 4: the oldest. 816 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: There's a sense of responsibility that you feel that I 817 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: did not feel. But my drive to become, like wanting 818 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,080 Speaker 1: to start my adult life and become whatever it was 819 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,879 Speaker 1: I was going to become, was paramount to that. So 820 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,239 Speaker 1: it's like you kind of have to you know, A, 821 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: you're not leaving your family. You're not You're never going 822 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 1: to leave your family. They're here for good. They're locked in. 823 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 1: So it's just about setting up a life where you 824 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,919 Speaker 1: are going to be back and visiting them and coming back. 825 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 1: If you really are passionate about going after this dream 826 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 1: of yours, it sounds like you are. I mean, you're 827 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,359 Speaker 1: getting an education for it. Then you have to kind 828 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: of know that, like there's you know, you're going to 829 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,319 Speaker 1: come back for the holidays. They're going to come visit 830 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 1: you in California. That's going to be exciting for the family. 831 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 1: And you can stay in touch in a million zillion 832 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: ways right now, you know, on face times and social media. 833 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 3: Oh, it's much hazier now, so so much, so much easier. 834 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: So it's like, look at it not as a dread, 835 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,880 Speaker 1: but as like an adventure, you know, like flip the 836 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 1: script and be like, this is the beginning of this 837 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 1: part of my life, and these are the sacrifices I 838 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: have to make. You move to La, You're going to 839 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: meet people, You're going to have exciting things happen there 840 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 1: immediately because it's so new to you, and you just 841 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 1: kind of have to get to a place where you're 842 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: ready to make that transition. You don't have to do 843 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 1: it tomorrow, but you know, if you want to chase 844 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: your dreams, you kind of have to start chasing them. 845 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, And there is something that happens when you go 846 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 5: to you know, somewhere where you're in a creative career, 847 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,759 Speaker 5: especially on one of the coasts, where you will find 848 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:36,720 Speaker 5: your chosen family. 849 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:37,720 Speaker 2: It takes a little doing. 850 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,040 Speaker 5: It takes like getting out there and meeting new people 851 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 5: and taking classes and you know, getting involved in things. 852 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,280 Speaker 5: But you will find a family that feels very close 853 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 5: to you. 854 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 3: We all find that tribe. Yeah. 855 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: Absolutely, you left home early because you went to school early, right, 856 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,240 Speaker 1: you didn't even finish school, Tony. 857 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,200 Speaker 3: I started acting in high school, Yeah, I did. I did. 858 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,800 Speaker 3: I'm just kind of started at singing. I did a musical, 859 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,719 Speaker 3: and then the teachers encouraged me to go to like 860 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,080 Speaker 3: a youth theater group. So slowly my world started to open. 861 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,480 Speaker 3: But I mean I wasn't prepared when I did Maurieal's Wedding, 862 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,879 Speaker 3: which was only my second film. And I don't come 863 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,160 Speaker 3: from like they are creative in their own way. But 864 00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:19,760 Speaker 3: everyone's got like, you know, what would be considered regular jobs. 865 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 6: You know. 866 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,800 Speaker 3: I'm kind of like my dad's like, this is a miracle. 867 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:26,319 Speaker 3: Then everyone's still pinching themselves at it ever happened, and 868 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,759 Speaker 3: there is some kind of I also felt a bit 869 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 3: guilty for having these incredible experiences, and I was constantly 870 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 3: on the phone to my family, you know, trying to 871 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,879 Speaker 3: share the experiences I was having. I think, ultimately, what 872 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,359 Speaker 3: you come to realize at some point is that you 873 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 3: are allowed to have your own life and your own experiences. 874 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 3: And if you are passionate about acting and actually have 875 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,800 Speaker 3: that talent and that fire in you, it won't go away. 876 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 3: You just have to follow it. You have to honor it, 877 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,839 Speaker 3: because that's the bread crumb on your path that's going 878 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 3: to lead to all kinds of growth and everything opening. 879 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,319 Speaker 3: And it is very much in a venture, and it's 880 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 3: inevitable that you're going to meet new people because you 881 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 3: have to put yourself into I love traveling. I think 882 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,359 Speaker 3: it's the best way to learn. You are put in 883 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 3: situations that are completely unfamiliar. It makes you grow, it 884 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,799 Speaker 3: makes you open up. And if you're doing classes, you'll 885 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,000 Speaker 3: meet like minded people and creative people. They are just 886 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 3: more They are open, right, They just want to connecting 887 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 3: ways that somebody in an office may not. I'm not generalizing, 888 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 3: trying not to generalize, but there's just an openness to 889 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:29,600 Speaker 3: that field. So I think, you know, allow yourself to 890 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 3: follow the passion. I think really that's all all of 891 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 3: us can do in life that will lead you to 892 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,960 Speaker 3: the right place, that will bring you to the good. Yeah, 893 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 3: when you know what you want to do. That is 894 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,480 Speaker 3: the biggest gift. 895 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how many people you've talked 896 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,080 Speaker 1: to that don't know what they want to do. 897 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,320 Speaker 3: But we have a lot of people. 898 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,560 Speaker 1: Call under the podcast that have no idea what their 899 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,960 Speaker 1: passion is and they're looking to find it. So that's 900 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,080 Speaker 1: already you're already ahead of the game by knowing. 901 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,359 Speaker 6: Thank you, thank you. 902 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,480 Speaker 3: I's so very okay, great, have you got plans? Where 903 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 3: are you sitting right now with venturing out into the 904 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:01,400 Speaker 3: world away from Maryland? 905 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:02,680 Speaker 6: Good? 906 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:07,840 Speaker 8: I mean, I've always dreamed of going with kind of 907 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,200 Speaker 8: far away and being on my own. 908 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 6: But I've always been someone who just is so I'm 909 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:14,640 Speaker 6: so close to. 910 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,719 Speaker 3: My mom and it even it won't change, it won't change, 911 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 3: You'll get closer. Actually, distance makes her grow fonder, And 912 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,600 Speaker 3: that's true. Like, you know, I used to hate my parents, 913 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,799 Speaker 3: and then I went away and moved to California, and 914 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,440 Speaker 3: then the next Christmas, I'm like, I think I love 915 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 3: you guys again. I'll call back. 916 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,480 Speaker 4: I just needed a break, you know what I mean. 917 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,839 Speaker 1: So imagine if you already have a strong relationship, it's 918 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,000 Speaker 1: only going to get stronger and and enhance. 919 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,840 Speaker 6: More exactly exactly. 920 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,879 Speaker 8: I think The other thing that is a little hard 921 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,920 Speaker 8: for me is that my my youngest sister is she's five, 922 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 8: and I just she just started in kindergarten and it's 923 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,239 Speaker 8: a little hard for her, just like it was hard 924 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 8: for me to leave. And so I'm like such a 925 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,600 Speaker 8: part of her experience and wanting to And I know, obviously, 926 00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 8: like you said, Chelsea, FaceTime is so amazing, but I 927 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 8: still just feel a little like I I want to 928 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:05,480 Speaker 8: be here for everything, but. 929 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 3: The day to day. Such a sweetheart, You're set. I 930 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,239 Speaker 3: appreciate that, darling boy. Yeah, you're you're gonna have the 931 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,160 Speaker 3: timing your bloody life, and you're gonna be a great 932 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,520 Speaker 3: role model for her to get out and do the 933 00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 3: same exactly. 934 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:19,760 Speaker 2: You're gonna be the cool older brother. 935 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 5: She can come visit, like maybe even before too long, 936 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,760 Speaker 5: my my nieces and nephew started visiting even by themselves 937 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,200 Speaker 5: when they were like seven or eight, you know. 938 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 3: So, and if you live near Disneyland, all the better. 939 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,840 Speaker 6: Exactly right, exactly exactly, good. 940 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,600 Speaker 3: Luck with this career, this burning passion. Don't let that 941 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:43,600 Speaker 3: flame go for it. Thank you so much, total pleasure. 942 00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,279 Speaker 6: Well, I will tell us you you're the best. Thank 943 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:45,799 Speaker 6: you so much. 944 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 3: Bye, you are the best. By good luck. 945 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,960 Speaker 4: He had such a distinctive voice. I was like, right. 946 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. Good voice from. 947 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,600 Speaker 3: Sounded like that. Last week I was doing all these 948 00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,080 Speaker 3: radio in London to seek. I sounded actually like a 949 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,160 Speaker 3: drag queen. I love that sound. I do too. 950 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,120 Speaker 4: I'm kind and I have come back. I love it. 951 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:06,879 Speaker 4: I love that. 952 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,040 Speaker 3: I love that voice. I wanted to have it all 953 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:09,520 Speaker 3: the time. 954 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,480 Speaker 1: Sometimes you get to like I get too high or chirpy, 955 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: and sometimes I hear myself, I'm like, why are you screaming? 956 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 3: You know, because you're excited. 957 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 4: It's okay, I know, I get too excited. 958 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:19,800 Speaker 3: I think need to be excitable. 959 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,840 Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and we'll come back with 960 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,879 Speaker 1: one more and then we'll wrap up with Tony. 961 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:29,759 Speaker 3: Okay, we'll take a break. We'll be right back and 962 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,040 Speaker 3: we're bound about to. 963 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:37,080 Speaker 1: Yay, let's do one more, Catherine, Yeah, all right, Well 964 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,040 Speaker 1: this comes from Izzy and this is just an email, 965 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,440 Speaker 1: so Izzy says, dear Chelsea. 966 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,080 Speaker 5: First of all, thanks to you and Catherine for all 967 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:45,960 Speaker 5: your great advice. 968 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,439 Speaker 2: You're like the cool older cousin. I get advice from 969 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 2: way more than my actual family. 970 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 5: And let's just say I made a big life decision recently, 971 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 5: which was easier just. 972 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,880 Speaker 2: Imagining the advice you would give. Here's my issue. 973 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,040 Speaker 5: I'm forty three. I'm the oldest of four siblings. My 974 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,680 Speaker 5: youngest sister is in her mid thirties. My siblings are 975 00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,719 Speaker 5: all very close and we accept each other for who 976 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,759 Speaker 5: we are. That being said, there's a specific issue that 977 00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,640 Speaker 5: has really started getting on my nerves. My youngest sister 978 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:14,160 Speaker 5: almost never says thank you, from little things like buying 979 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,759 Speaker 5: her dinner to not texting me to say thank you 980 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 5: when a gift for her kid arrives. She loves kind 981 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,839 Speaker 5: of far away from me. Usually it's easy to let 982 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,080 Speaker 5: it go, but recently I made what I felt was 983 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 5: a generous purchase for her, just because I make more 984 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,960 Speaker 5: than her. But I didn't get so much as a 985 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,680 Speaker 5: thank you. I know it's not her problem how I feel, 986 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 5: but I felt like it was just expected when what 987 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 5: I felt with what I did was above and beyond. 988 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,960 Speaker 5: She's always been the classic baby of the family. I 989 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,759 Speaker 5: know there's gratitude in her heart, and maybe her ADHD 990 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,239 Speaker 5: makes it harder to remember to say something, But I 991 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,279 Speaker 5: want to know from you, as somebody who's generous with 992 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,919 Speaker 5: her family, How would you handle this? Am I being 993 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 5: too nitpicky to sit down and use an eye statement 994 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,359 Speaker 5: and request just as simple thank you? 995 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 2: Would love to hear your take. 996 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:56,719 Speaker 3: Is he No? 997 00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,879 Speaker 1: I think that's general, Like it's funny if that here 998 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,600 Speaker 1: we go again with the same families. You know, same parents, 999 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,000 Speaker 1: you grow up in the same family, and you have 1000 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 1: different habits. 1001 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 3: But I think. 1002 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:10,640 Speaker 1: Please and thank you are major criteria that are necessary 1003 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,560 Speaker 1: for people. And that's your sister, so it shouldn't be 1004 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,520 Speaker 1: an issue to go, Hey, I've definitely said stuff to 1005 00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:19,319 Speaker 1: my family about saying please and thank you. 1006 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,200 Speaker 4: And it's not that you're doing it to get to 1007 00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:21,560 Speaker 4: thank you. 1008 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,040 Speaker 1: It's kind of just like good practice to thank people 1009 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,280 Speaker 1: for generous things or gifts, even small things. 1010 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:28,759 Speaker 3: It's nice to say thank you. 1011 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:29,719 Speaker 2: It's good manners. 1012 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 3: I totally agree. Yeah, And it sounds like that you'll 1013 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,319 Speaker 3: really have great relationships and this is just kind of 1014 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,560 Speaker 3: slowly been mounting within you. It's a fine line, right, 1015 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 3: because if you are a generous person, I think you 1016 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:49,799 Speaker 3: kind of have to give without expecting, without expecting anything back. 1017 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,560 Speaker 3: To be honest, giving is about giving. But I can 1018 00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,640 Speaker 3: understand that you might want to have some like you 1019 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,560 Speaker 3: don't also don't want to be taken advantage of, so 1020 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,440 Speaker 3: they might be a little boundary there that needs to 1021 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:06,400 Speaker 3: be set or clarified. Yeah, I think certainly reminder. 1022 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, this is something I would put in 1023 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,120 Speaker 1: writing rather than say to someone. But putting in writing 1024 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: alone just makes it feel heftier. But sometimes it gives 1025 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,520 Speaker 1: people more room to actually digest the information because it's 1026 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,759 Speaker 1: written down in a sweet little email, like if you 1027 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,759 Speaker 1: wrote her or center an email and said, Hey, you 1028 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,760 Speaker 1: know you're my sister. 1029 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 3: I love you. 1030 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,839 Speaker 1: I'm always going to be doing nice little things for you. 1031 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,839 Speaker 1: But I've noticed a couple of times where I've gone 1032 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,480 Speaker 1: out of my way for you and I haven't even 1033 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 1: gotten a thank you, And that kind of feels like, 1034 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,520 Speaker 1: either maybe you don't want things from me, and if 1035 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: it could. 1036 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,839 Speaker 3: Be that I was thinking that as well. Some people 1037 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,920 Speaker 3: that's uncomfortable with receiving no matter who it's from, right, 1038 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,879 Speaker 3: and so they don't know how to respond because it's 1039 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,279 Speaker 3: overwhelming to be spoiled in a way. I don't know 1040 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 3: what was given, did we talk about? 1041 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,719 Speaker 5: What was she didn't say. I think she's trying to 1042 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:53,719 Speaker 5: keep it anonymous. 1043 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:54,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. 1044 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,600 Speaker 1: But if you bring that up in the thing, if 1045 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,040 Speaker 1: you say that in your email, like listen, maybe I'm 1046 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,920 Speaker 1: going to stop. Yeah, maybe you don't want these things 1047 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,120 Speaker 1: for me. It puts it off of you and the 1048 00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:06,839 Speaker 1: thank you more and it gives her the opportunity because 1049 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,359 Speaker 1: maybe she doesn't want gives herm you, but it gives 1050 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,359 Speaker 1: her the opportunity to go, oh god, ay if she does, 1051 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,680 Speaker 1: she's gonna be like, no, I'm so sorry, I do 1052 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,319 Speaker 1: I don't even realize I'm. 1053 00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 3: Not SAYINGBABLY don't even realize it. I'm sure she does it. 1054 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1055 00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,440 Speaker 3: So she'll probably be mortified. 1056 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,799 Speaker 1: I definitely would say something. It's your sister. You can 1057 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:27,640 Speaker 1: say anything to your sister. You know, even if they 1058 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,399 Speaker 1: get mad, it's going to be okay in a couple 1059 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,480 Speaker 1: of days, you know, based on the close knit relationship 1060 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 1: you have. But definitely, I mean, these are manners people 1061 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,120 Speaker 1: need to have. Please and thank you are kind of 1062 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,160 Speaker 1: the two most important, you know, phrases in the English language. 1063 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,000 Speaker 3: To add to what you were saying, if you make 1064 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,080 Speaker 3: it more about making her feel comfortable and it's less 1065 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,279 Speaker 3: about how disgruntled do you feel and just like, I 1066 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:48,799 Speaker 3: just I don't want to overstep the mark. Is it 1067 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,400 Speaker 3: okay that I did that? You know, I just didn't 1068 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,560 Speaker 3: hear back like it's kind of down in a way, 1069 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 3: very generous way and making sure that they're okay with it. Yeah, yeah, 1070 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:58,920 Speaker 3: rather than feeling a bit jilted. 1071 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,879 Speaker 1: I know, I don't feel comfort we'll getting gifts. I'm 1072 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,000 Speaker 1: always just like, oh god, you know, like I don't 1073 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 1: know why. 1074 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:04,319 Speaker 3: I try and compliment me. 1075 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:11,480 Speaker 1: Right, Its exactly right, right, right, right right, but yes, 1076 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,400 Speaker 1: definitely say something and put it on the gift giving 1077 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 1: and we we sorted that problem out. 1078 00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:17,440 Speaker 3: Okay. 1079 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:22,400 Speaker 1: Well, you can see Tony's latest works on Netflix. Everything 1080 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,319 Speaker 1: she's doing on Netflix on Netflix right now, so I'm 1081 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,640 Speaker 1: sure there's going to be more to come. But Wayward 1082 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:30,320 Speaker 1: is the series that you should watch with May Martin 1083 00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:31,560 Speaker 1: who created. 1084 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:36,800 Speaker 3: Created, produced, stars in produce, started everything but directed. 1085 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:42,080 Speaker 1: And also make sure you check out Goodbye June, which 1086 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,719 Speaker 1: is beautiful film also on Netflix. Tony, thank you so 1087 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:49,600 Speaker 1: much for your time today, Absolutely hanging out with you, 1088 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: and I can't wait to do. 1089 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,840 Speaker 3: It in person. I really can't person what today is 1090 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 3: going to be, but I'm really happy to see you, 1091 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,239 Speaker 3: and I hope you have a beautiful holiday season up 1092 00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:00,000 Speaker 3: there in Whistler. And I just love what you do. 1093 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,879 Speaker 3: You make people feel great. How brilliant that people feel 1094 00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,719 Speaker 3: so comfortable and write into you about like these kind 1095 00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,040 Speaker 3: of personal dilemmas that they have that really says something 1096 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,319 Speaker 3: about you. Actually, Oh, thank you. I love doing it. 1097 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 3: I love it. 1098 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,160 Speaker 1: I love giving it unsolicited advice, so I may as 1099 00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:15,080 Speaker 1: well be solicited. 1100 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:16,440 Speaker 3: I kind of love it as well. I think I 1101 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,520 Speaker 3: see other people more clearly than I see myself. Well, actually, 1102 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,719 Speaker 3: I've grown into seeing myself more clearly, and so you. 1103 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,360 Speaker 1: But we all do. We all see everybody else like 1104 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,480 Speaker 1: it's everything's a mirror, right, Yeah? And who better to 1105 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,200 Speaker 1: give advice than someone that has nothing to do with 1106 00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:29,920 Speaker 1: your problems? 1107 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,799 Speaker 3: Totally objective yep. Yeah, this is a total pleasure. I'm 1108 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,799 Speaker 3: so happy to see you and so lovely to meet you, 1109 00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:40,279 Speaker 3: and thanks for having men and enjoy life. See you 1110 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,480 Speaker 3: twenty two. Happy holidays, Tony. 1111 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:48,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, likewise, enjoy yeah, hie. I just announced all my 1112 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,160 Speaker 1: tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I 1113 00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 1: will be touring from February through June, so go get 1114 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,640 Speaker 1: your tickets now. If you want good seats and you 1115 00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,719 Speaker 1: want to come see me perform, I will be on 1116 00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,120 Speaker 1: the whole h and mighty toour Do. 1117 00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:05,080 Speaker 5: You want advice from Chelsea, Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast 1118 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,399 Speaker 5: at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of Dear 1119 00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,359 Speaker 5: Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. 1120 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:12,759 Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is 1121 00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:17,080 Speaker 5: Edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine law 1122 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,480 Speaker 5: And be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler 1123 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:25,399 Speaker 5: dot com