Speaker 1: We walked along the beach. What a moment. Now he
Speaker 1: has my head is he kissed me. I want to
Speaker 1: spend my luck with you. I want you for my
Speaker 1: just been at the time, she said, not what you
Speaker 1: want me.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mops, Bad Choices, Episode thirty.
Speaker 1: Hey we made it. It's thirty, dirty flirty, thirty, thirty
Speaker 1: and thirty. We're thirty. We're podcasting and doing things. It's
Speaker 1: episode thirty.
Speaker 2: That could be.
Speaker 1: That could be our new intro music something like that.
Speaker 1: We need to intro.
Speaker 3: So I know, because technically.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I do not know what we
Speaker 1: speak of. Maybe not admit to mindous. You said you
Speaker 1: own know you bought it.
Speaker 3: I do, so it's yours. Anyway, they're stoned again. So
Speaker 3: we're recording this episode a little early because we are
Speaker 3: going out of town and stuff and so apologies if
Speaker 3: we're dated.
Speaker 1: Oh, we're gonna be a little dated.
Speaker 3: But because by the time this airs, we're gonna know
Speaker 3: if Brett Kavanall is honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the US Supreme Court, what do you what
Speaker 1: do you guess? Yes? That isn't Yeah, yeah, I agree, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm for stopping these white people First of all, Clarience
Speaker 2: got gone on black ass.
Speaker 1: They are definitely don't give a fuck. How many pussies?
Speaker 1: What's Clarence Claires? What's the face? He's in the clear.
Speaker 1: He's good. I mean it's not good. He's terrible.
Speaker 2: But I just know they're not going to recognize it
Speaker 2: as anything, as an injustice, and they're rarely like believing
Speaker 2: r now, So I know, hopefully if we're wrong, especially
Speaker 2: because that means who knows what he's what is he
Speaker 2: going to do once he gets on the Supreme Court?
Speaker 3: I mean overturned row versus way do a bunch of
Speaker 3: things for the immigration. So I don't know who knows,
Speaker 3: who knows? Maybe he'll surprise us, I don't know. All
Speaker 3: I know is when I saw his little screaming face
Speaker 3: getting all rouled up, something in me told.
Speaker 1: Me he did. My psychic intuition said he's guilty. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just think that, uh so many women gits abused,
Speaker 2: Like of all my friends, I can think of, like
Speaker 2: off top, like eight people have experienced in some form
Speaker 2: of fashion, some inappropriatingness from a guy, and you kind
Speaker 2: of like brush it off because that's what guys do.
Speaker 1: That's how men act like fucking savages. But that's just
Speaker 1: not true, and that's unacceptable. No, it's not. But it's
Speaker 1: even like when I was.
Speaker 3: Because so, guys, we're obviously talking about the sexual assault
Speaker 3: case of accusations against Brett Kavanaugh, who is up for
Speaker 3: to be Supreme Court justice, which is a lifelong appointment,
Speaker 3: and he is being accused by three women of sexual assault.
Speaker 2: One of which that happened in two in high school
Speaker 2: and one in college.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't no, one in high school, two in college.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that's the main reason people
Speaker 1: are dismissing it or just general people dismiss stuff like this.
Speaker 2: And she took a polygraph test that came out that
Speaker 2: she was not being dishonest, but they rejected it.
Speaker 3: They rejected it, and she also gave the notes. She
Speaker 3: gave permission to her therapist to release her notes, which
Speaker 3: she talked about this incident back in twenty twelve with
Speaker 3: her therapist.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks like you no, no, no. All In all,
Speaker 2: though we wanted to talk this along with Bilkosby's recent sentence,
Speaker 2: we wanted to talk about sexualbse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a serious topic, and it's something that I
Speaker 3: think so many women feel uncomfortable about talking about, or
Speaker 3: some women don't even realize they've experienced it, right, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, because you start to put the
Speaker 3: blame on yourself, like, oh, I asked for this, or.
Speaker 1: I like a real disease.
Speaker 2: You know we're here now, so now I have to right, No,
Speaker 2: I don't want to see your penis. You know, these
Speaker 2: are all in some form refreshing ways. You know, people
Speaker 2: overset their boundaries.
Speaker 1: Right, Never have I been like you will, look at
Speaker 1: this pussy, look at this?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Can you look at this? Can you imagine? No, I'm
Speaker 1: not going anywhere. Come on, I'm not going anywhere, like
Speaker 1: please come on, I mean not.
Speaker 3: So it's like demean men because I know men get
Speaker 3: sexually assaulted as well, which I know it's not funny.
Speaker 2: I know it's not funny. The sad part is men.
Speaker 2: All the guys I know that have been like molested.
Speaker 2: It's always I'm talking about men, like about well, you know,
Speaker 2: I know one guy I dated, he was molested for
Speaker 2: a long period time by his mother's boyfriend. That was
Speaker 2: a real place in molistation, but a lot of times
Speaker 2: I've talked to guys and I'm like, how over.
Speaker 1: You when you not share your virginity?
Speaker 2: They're like twelve, eleven, thirteen, I'm like, how old was
Speaker 2: the person who It's always an older woman or an
Speaker 2: older person at least a king who knows what they're doing.
Speaker 1: And I'm always like, yo, that's not funny. You got
Speaker 1: fucking rate.
Speaker 2: That's the lessation that is very disgusting. Even I for
Speaker 2: like seven, and I'm like, that's not cool.
Speaker 1: It's so true. It's so true, Like they don't mean.
Speaker 3: Multiple guys that have told me that they lost a
Speaker 3: virginity to like a much older, like a baby person,
Speaker 3: but they don't even view it as they're not when
Speaker 3: they're telling me. They're not telling me because they think
Speaker 3: they've been sexually assaulted. They're either like girl almost bragging
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought if you guys be like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I lost my virginity, it's like twenty year old. I
Speaker 1: was like thirteen.
Speaker 3: I was like, that's that's rape, that's yeah, or like
Speaker 3: a seventeen year old and I was twelve, Yeah, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like the babysitter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard crazy shit and it's like, yeah, dude,
Speaker 2: that that's you might need to heal from that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also a big thing about like experience something experiencing something
Speaker 5: like that when you're younger is sometimes you.
Speaker 2: You like you numb it out, like the trauma is
Speaker 2: so great that like your body makes it you think
Speaker 2: it's a dream or like they suppressed the memory because
Speaker 2: it's too traumatic to relive and you feel gale and
Speaker 2: you don't know how to communicate it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, seriously, I mean, I mean, I know, like I know,
Speaker 3: maybe not cases of sexual assault for me, but I've
Speaker 3: definitely like had moments of like where like something has
Speaker 3: triggered a memory for me where I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: is that And I'll be confused like was that a
Speaker 3: dream or was.
Speaker 1: That all right? My tripmen? Right real? I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: that was that was real?
Speaker 3: And like when that happens, it's just like you still
Speaker 3: don't because like even when I think about stuff like
Speaker 3: a memory that I have that I like I can't remember,
Speaker 3: I'm still not sure like what is real about it?
Speaker 1: And what is it not? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And because you're thinking about it, are you what is
Speaker 2: fabricated or what is memory?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: So I have my friend this topic came up with
Speaker 2: was talking to my friend on the phone tonight and
Speaker 2: she was saying that she when she was like little,
Speaker 2: like six five or six, she always wear of her
Speaker 2: neighbor's house. There was two little girls over there, but
Speaker 2: she never like she was always asking them and your
Speaker 2: dad's going to be home? Is your dad going to
Speaker 2: be home? And even her mom thought that was weird.
Speaker 2: Even if their mom thought it was weird, Like why
Speaker 2: do you keep asking that? She said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: So she said she.
Speaker 2: Later started having this dream that he'd come in the
Speaker 2: room and touch her because she was sleeping in the
Speaker 2: guest room, and her body would is like tense up
Speaker 2: and get really stiff.
Speaker 1: This is the dream she's having.
Speaker 2: But later in like when she was eighteen, she took
Speaker 2: a psychology class and they were talking about how as
Speaker 2: children we make things into dreams because we can't process
Speaker 2: the trauma. And at that moment she realized that shit
Speaker 2: wasn't a dream. This was what really happened, and her
Speaker 2: body she was just thinking it was a dream. She's like,
Speaker 2: I've never had that dream when I was at my house,
Speaker 2: only when I was there, So that's one way you know,
Speaker 2: like people are like subconsciously don't even realize these abuses
Speaker 2: happened and how it's affecting them. And then there's other
Speaker 2: things like you said how you didn't remember, and then
Speaker 2: like suddenly something I remember when I was little, When
Speaker 2: I was like sixteen, I was in Philly and we
Speaker 2: passed by like an old house my grandmother lived in,
Speaker 2: and my dad was like, I remember, your grandmother used
Speaker 2: to live there. And I looked at it, and as
Speaker 2: soon as he said that, I had this rushing memory
Speaker 2: of like the neighbor two doors down like touching me
Speaker 2: while we were playing house.
Speaker 1: He was older than me. I was probably like three
Speaker 1: or four, honestly, and he was he was older.
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know how much older, but like a
Speaker 3: teenager or I can't really really it matters.
Speaker 1: No, it's maybe like eleven or ten or something. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's pretty much's a lot older. Yeah, maybe it was
Speaker 1: nine or something. Matter he's three or four. I don't
Speaker 1: think I was like traumatized by it.
Speaker 2: But what did he do, like to like go in
Speaker 2: my pants and try to touch my pet?
Speaker 3: You know? Then I get confused because I mean I
Speaker 3: think a boy. It depends on how age he was.
Speaker 3: But a boy at a certain age doesn't even know,
Speaker 3: like they're both right, right, I'm not, But at the
Speaker 3: same time, if he was at that age, he should know.
Speaker 3: And that's even a big of a problem with parents.
Speaker 3: Aren't teaching the kids like you don't do that, you
Speaker 3: don't touch anybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I remember mom telling me, like, always in
Speaker 2: the bathroom, someone tends to hear you tell me. And
Speaker 2: I told her, and I like, I don't really remember
Speaker 2: happen with that. My grandmother must have said something to them.
Speaker 2: But at sixteen, I was like, am I tripping? So
Speaker 2: I asked my parents do you remember?
Speaker 1: Like it came out. I was like, do you remember?
Speaker 1: He's like, they asked me, do you remember that? And
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I do. I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: traumatized or anything by it.
Speaker 2: But the crazy part is is that had I not
Speaker 2: drove past that house at that moment, and I may
Speaker 2: not have.
Speaker 1: Ever really remembered that.
Speaker 2: Not really huge deal or anything, but just how your
Speaker 2: mind can be so tricky. Even I have a cousin
Speaker 2: and recently she's thirty two, and she was she smelled
Speaker 2: the scent and it started triggering these really dark memories
Speaker 2: of being like raped by a relative when she was
Speaker 2: like six years old, and then she started to play
Speaker 2: out other things in her mind where she was like
Speaker 2: she she she associated that with like with like, like
Speaker 2: like sex with love.
Speaker 1: So she tried to make her brother touch her.
Speaker 2: She tried to touch other people because even as a child,
Speaker 2: she she didn't understand.
Speaker 1: She didn't.
Speaker 2: You can't fully comprehend that. And it was someone she
Speaker 2: loved and a door.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she thought he was like giving her like affection
Speaker 3: appropriate effects, right, but six years old, raping a six
Speaker 3: year old?
Speaker 2: And the fourth the crazy thing is is that thirty
Speaker 2: in a growing up this is my close cousin. She
Speaker 2: was troubled, She got kicked out of schools a lot,
Speaker 2: she was she was angry. I'm we humped like and
Speaker 2: she even had asked him like me and me and
Speaker 2: her oh no, But I'm just saying, you know, she
Speaker 2: was hyper sexual, but she did never even understood why
Speaker 2: until she smelled this sense and it triggered all of
Speaker 2: these memories. And I'm like, fuck, can you imagine at
Speaker 2: thirty two years old suddenly.
Speaker 1: Everything you're like, oh oh yeah.
Speaker 2: And even she apologized to me about like things like
Speaker 2: when we're kids.
Speaker 1: I was like, we're both kids, Like we don't fucking know.
Speaker 2: She's like, no, it was wrong And I didn't even know,
Speaker 2: and obviously didn't know your drinking. But a lot of
Speaker 2: times that behavior stems from some where you learn that
Speaker 2: behavior from. But I'm just like I've always thought, like
Speaker 2: I'm a I know, I'm a very sexual person, hypersexual,
Speaker 2: and I'm probably that's probably like one of my vices.
Speaker 2: But I always was like, damn, I don't need to
Speaker 2: get like some type of hypnotherapy and see if there's
Speaker 2: anything else in there, because maybe this is the reason
Speaker 2: maybe something's wrong with me, because I just know how
Speaker 2: tricky the mind is.
Speaker 3: I think also like you might just be sexual. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I mean, I'm just trying to find like a
Speaker 3: good reason. But I think, but I mean, there are
Speaker 3: things that come up, you know, that can trigger you
Speaker 3: or influence you know, your level of importance on things,
Speaker 3: whether it's sex or whatever.
Speaker 1: It is, right, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: How we view sex, how we how we go about
Speaker 3: getting sex, like the kind of sex we like, right,
Speaker 3: you know, And that's another thing I talked about my
Speaker 3: weird porn fantasies wait, what were they?
Speaker 1: It's always like older, like being take advantage of. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2: Or maybe this is just my season right now when
Speaker 2: I'm meanto is that in a recent thing or it's
Speaker 2: more recent like the last year or two.
Speaker 1: I like bondage, So what does that say? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't think. I don't know if does
Speaker 1: have any correlation. Like to be tied up.
Speaker 3: I mean I like to watch it, and no one
Speaker 3: ever does it, even I've asked multiple people to kiss
Speaker 3: pissed I am how.
Speaker 1: Many times I gotta tell the nick of time me up?
Speaker 1: Isn't that a fantasy? Is it just my fantasy?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: You don't get anything out of it, so therefore it
Speaker 2: doesn't that okay? You would have well, I guess I think.
Speaker 2: Also I'm always afraid like someone's gonna judge me because
Speaker 2: of my fantasies.
Speaker 3: And then some people are scared to like tie a
Speaker 3: bitch up. Clearly, clearly I asked my ex to do
Speaker 3: this for like seven years. I would want to be
Speaker 3: tied up and gagged a little.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like tease me, show me your skills.
Speaker 3: I've been tied up and gagged and I was hot, hot, hot.
Speaker 3: I really like to fulfill fantasies to the off topic,
Speaker 3: which maybe not off topic because maybe why do I
Speaker 3: like to know? Because I'm sexual to it, which is
Speaker 3: totally natural.
Speaker 2: But this also goes back to like why as women
Speaker 2: we have to even question our sexuality?
Speaker 3: Did something happened to me and I oversexed? Because men
Speaker 3: just fuck all day and it's all They're not wondering.
Speaker 3: No one's asking them, Oh, they must have been raped?
Speaker 3: Were you molested? That's why you like to fuck so much?
Speaker 1: Right? But yeah, but we do experience more trauma than men.
Speaker 3: I think women experience more trauma than men on a
Speaker 3: daily basis, between getting cat called all day long to
Speaker 3: just like just just being demeaned all the time.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, even as questioning our five percent more than the
Speaker 2: next bitch sexuality goes to show that, like, as women
Speaker 2: were just held to a completely different accountability when we're
Speaker 2: when something happens to us and we're raped and we're fucking,
Speaker 2: you know, like the victim is like what was she wearing?
Speaker 2: You know, what was her sexual history? What like what
Speaker 2: did she do to get to deserve this? And I
Speaker 2: think in even some one state, there's.
Speaker 1: Like a point.
Speaker 2: There's like a point of entry, like once the dick
Speaker 2: is in this reagina, then like even if you say no,
Speaker 2: you can't count at as rape. There's like a specific
Speaker 2: amount like point in which they dictate no, no, it
Speaker 2: is rape or you must continue, which is even quay.
Speaker 1: So if it's all the way in, then they can't
Speaker 1: corry rape.
Speaker 3: I just I just yeah, that's the funck. Who's there
Speaker 3: and how would they know? How who's there to measure?
Speaker 2: Like I guess just hearsay, But I'm just saying that's
Speaker 2: an actual lot I read it.
Speaker 3: Okay, so don't know that's insane. I mean I don't
Speaker 3: put it past America, Okay, well right, I mean obviously
Speaker 3: past America. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean even just.
Speaker 2: Super low minimal charges to pedophile, to fucking rapist, all
Speaker 2: these like it's just like, oh, bad boy, Johnny.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just not eagle. No, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: And I mean we'll probably never really know if what happened,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean with within this case in
Speaker 3: particular with Brett Kavanaugh or you know, clearly it didn't
Speaker 3: matter with Clarence Thomas. But that's what's so sad like too.
Speaker 3: You know, like this this woman doesn't have anything to
Speaker 3: gain from this. If anything, she's going to she's giving
Speaker 3: away a part of her life, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like people are she's she had to move because she
Speaker 3: was getting death threats from people who support him.
Speaker 6: H Like, you know, her job, her job probably you know,
Speaker 6: she probably compromised everything and compromise everything because but she's
Speaker 6: the victim, and she's the victim.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's she's like a doctor's and she's just
Speaker 2: like she's super educating college.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the doctor of psychology. She I think palout, she's
Speaker 3: a professor pado out. So I can't remember what college.
Speaker 2: At the hearing, the woman on the board or whatever said,
Speaker 2: how do you know it was him? And she was
Speaker 2: like just like how I know I'm here right now,
Speaker 2: I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1: And then she broke me down, way down. She was like,
Speaker 1: the hippocampus sends.
Speaker 2: A sense a vibration to the I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: but she told.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, she just told you how the
Speaker 1: brain work works. Take notes? What No, you had enough
Speaker 1: fish sheets? Did you eat your pasta? Oh? Yeah, she
Speaker 1: has some more. She eat some of Luna's fish sheets.
Speaker 1: Damn god, I want something fishies. I want donuts? Oh?
Speaker 1: Should we get I don't know what? What do they
Speaker 1: call it? All the Krispy Kreme? Why do they close
Speaker 1: donuts up so early? Don't they know? People? Hi? People
Speaker 1: want donuts? Oh my god, we should open a late
Speaker 1: night do That would be amazing. You know what I
Speaker 1: wanted to open when I live downtown. It's so stupid now.
Speaker 3: I wanted to open a delivery ice cream service where
Speaker 3: someone walks around like you don't how like they have
Speaker 3: the Mexicans, like the Mexican Like you want a donut car, yeah,
Speaker 3: like have the little cards and like yeah so I
Speaker 3: or like you know, they serve like the Mango and
Speaker 3: the bomb. But you would travel around downtown. It was
Speaker 3: specifically for downtown donuts.
Speaker 1: Ice cream. Oh if they travel.
Speaker 3: Around with ice cream and they scoop it at your door,
Speaker 3: doorfront ice cream.
Speaker 1: This is your idea, This is my idea. It's a genius.
Speaker 1: It's genius.
Speaker 2: I would I mean, I'm very similar to very so
Speaker 2: much an ice cream truck, except in downtown.
Speaker 1: People want door to door service at a moment. We
Speaker 1: live in it.
Speaker 3: We live in a town where we want. We have
Speaker 3: Postmates to go fucking grocery shopping for us. I'm really
Speaker 3: sorry we got high before this episode. Okay, our tangents
Speaker 3: on donuts and ice cream trucks and fissiness ideas are horrible.
Speaker 1: First of all, it is nine thirty eight. Where the
Speaker 1: fuck are we going to get some donuts from? I
Speaker 1: don't know, I was freaking.
Speaker 2: I just thought of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we must make them. No I can't. No, no,
Speaker 1: it was your idea. No, no, I'm bad. It's a
Speaker 1: bad idea.
Speaker 3: Anyway, back on dry background dry. Yeah, So I was
Speaker 3: actually when I when we were talking, we were talking
Speaker 3: about this topic, I was trying to.
Speaker 1: Remember.
Speaker 3: I don't have any specific memories of being molested when
Speaker 3: I was a child. I know, like my mom taught
Speaker 3: me very early too, like his name would to my
Speaker 3: mom's super paranoid about it.
Speaker 1: Like I remember having like a rash on my vagina when.
Speaker 3: I was like seven or like six, and I'm will
Speaker 3: be like, who touched you? Who tell me what's going on?
Speaker 3: Who's touching you? And I was like no, and there
Speaker 3: really was no one. I think it was like the
Speaker 3: soap was like irritating me. But definitely later on, Like
Speaker 3: I was telling to me, like I have this one
Speaker 3: incident and I'm like actually embarrassed even share it, Like
Speaker 3: I've never really shared this story with many people at
Speaker 3: all because I felt so gross and I felt like
Speaker 3: it was my fault.
Speaker 1: Like I like I felt like a hoe, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I felt like a whore.
Speaker 3: And he knew he was making me feel that way,
Speaker 3: so that he knew I wasn't gonna tell anyone.
Speaker 1: He's just manipulating. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So basically, like when I was like twenty or nineteen,
Speaker 3: I really wanted to sing, Like I was really like
Speaker 3: wanted to have this career in singing.
Speaker 1: I was writing a lot.
Speaker 3: I was interning at Geffen Records and Interscope, and there
Speaker 3: was this guy there and he was an A and
Speaker 3: R there and he befriended.
Speaker 1: Me and you know, found out I wanted to sing.
Speaker 3: He had a little crush on me, and I knew,
Speaker 3: but I was like whatever, you know, we're cool. And
Speaker 3: then he started inviting me to the studio. He was like,
Speaker 3: you should come to the studio. I was like, oh, ship,
Speaker 3: Like the I want at the studio, like I want
Speaker 3: to play all the heat that I had in my
Speaker 3: gard how and I went bay, this is my favorite one, bitch.
Speaker 3: So I played mysel my stuff and.
Speaker 1: He was, yeah, you need know you need more production.
Speaker 3: You need like let me help you, let some producers writers,
Speaker 3: you know, la la la la la.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh my God, like he really wants
Speaker 1: to help me. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: So we go into the studio a few times and
Speaker 3: we do like maybe like we like start.
Speaker 1: Things, don't finish them.
Speaker 3: You know. I'm really like focused, like trying to like
Speaker 3: show him that I'm like serious about this, you know.
Speaker 1: I think, like I don't know.
Speaker 3: How many times I went to the studio and this happened.
Speaker 3: But one night we were there and I remember like
Speaker 3: there was somebody there. The sound engineer guy was there
Speaker 3: and he was also there was like all this. So
Speaker 3: this guy was like helping me with vocals or something,
Speaker 3: and we're doing the song it was going to and
Speaker 3: then he was like, Eric could come in the back,
Speaker 3: come back in the back and talk to me. And
Speaker 3: I was like okay, and I thought it was weird,
Speaker 3: but I was like what e's And so we went
Speaker 3: back there and we're talking. He was like, you know
Speaker 3: how how serious are you about like this your career?
Speaker 3: Like how serious? Like what are you willing to do
Speaker 3: to like? And I was like, what are you not
Speaker 3: willing to do? He said how serious are you about it?
Speaker 3: And then I was like, you know, like I'm so serious,
Speaker 3: like you know, this is like my passion, my.
Speaker 1: Gol like da da da da da. Like he was
Speaker 1: asking all these questions. I thought like he was really
Speaker 1: interested in my story.
Speaker 3: And then he was like no, but like what are
Speaker 3: you willing to do to like have a career?
Speaker 1: And I didn't understand.
Speaker 3: I was still like trying to tell him, like everything
Speaker 3: I was willing to do vocal and he was like well,
Speaker 3: and then he used a refereuse a reference of an
Speaker 3: artist her name is Nicole Shu's and gir pussy Cat Dolls, and.
Speaker 1: He was like she was willing to do whatever it took.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what a piece of shit guy.
Speaker 3: And then what are you willing to do? And he
Speaker 3: just kept like positioning did say what she did? Yeah,
Speaker 3: basically said that she slept with Jimmy I mean to
Speaker 3: get her to get her to get her on the
Speaker 3: pussy at Dolls, which is probably bullshit. Maybe she did
Speaker 3: who knows, but she's actually really talented and beautiful.
Speaker 2: We fucking saw the very first reality competition she was on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, that made that made the pussy
Speaker 1: Cat Dolls? What the fuck was it called?
Speaker 3: She was on?
Speaker 1: To show you?
Speaker 3: Before that, I think, yeah, yeah, that one bitch was
Speaker 3: working either way, but anyway, So basically, he just like
Speaker 3: kept pressuring me, and like.
Speaker 1: Finally I understood what he was saying, and I was just.
Speaker 3: Like oh, and he was like, yeah, you know, you
Speaker 3: might have to do some things.
Speaker 1: And I was like I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's like, well, you're not serious, Like you're not really
Speaker 3: serious about this then, And I was just at that
Speaker 3: point in my life. That's why I was so like,
Speaker 3: I felt so shamed because I was like, am I
Speaker 3: this week? Am I this desperate? And I said okay,
Speaker 3: And we went to this hotel, this cheap ass hotel,
Speaker 3: and I just remember him getting taking his clothes off
Speaker 3: and he was just like overweight, hairy, shame on, older,
Speaker 3: much older than me too, he was probably like forty two,
Speaker 3: shame on that. And I remember exactly what he was doing,
Speaker 3: getting on top of me, and I just like like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, oh he just let me be over,
Speaker 3: Let it be over, Let it be over, and then
Speaker 3: it was over, and then it was over. And then
Speaker 3: afterwards I felt so disgusted with myself. I was like,
Speaker 3: how the fuck? What the fuck? But I like as
Speaker 3: as fucked up as I felt like, I felt like,
Speaker 3: this is what, you know what, I'm gonna do what
Speaker 3: I have to do. I'm gonna do what I have
Speaker 3: to do. I want this and like whatever. I found
Speaker 3: him a few times, fuck it whatever, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? And I did it again.
Speaker 1: And then after that second time, I like, I was
Speaker 1: I never I couldn't even talk to him anymore.
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't even and so I just
Speaker 3: I blamed myself for that and because I felt like.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're not You're not a child.
Speaker 2: You are the fucking thing is like nineteen twenty years Oh,
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I just I don't even feel
Speaker 2: like an adult right now.
Speaker 1: No. And he prayed on me, He prayed on he
Speaker 1: prayed on.
Speaker 3: All my shit, you know I do. I mean at
Speaker 3: that point in my life too, like I did, I
Speaker 3: was always seeking male attention and male validation, and I
Speaker 3: felt at that time that I didn't feel powerful. I
Speaker 3: felt like men were in better positions to help me to.
Speaker 2: Do and he used his position to manipulate you and
Speaker 2: a lot of twenty year olds a lot of I
Speaker 2: felt that. I felt like, like I don't want to
Speaker 2: say weak, but like there's so many times I wasn't like,
Speaker 2: get the fuck off me, I'm ready to go where.
Speaker 1: Now you know what I'm saying, Like you were like,
Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm a fucking with you. Also, there's a confidence.
Speaker 1: I don't know why is.
Speaker 3: That, but I also think, now i'm thinking about it,
Speaker 3: is that I also felt like, because of my issues
Speaker 3: and insecurities and my needs for male validation normally for
Speaker 3: male botchers, that I actually want to fuck.
Speaker 1: But the fact that I.
Speaker 3: Knew he wanted me, and I knew he thought I
Speaker 3: was so beautiful, Like there was something about that that
Speaker 3: I was like, fine, I'll let you have this.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's weird that you said that, because I.
Speaker 2: Can relate to that, and I don't think i've ever
Speaker 2: noticed that that feeling or thought in that moment until
Speaker 2: you've saying it. Now, like some strange, some strange satisfaction.
Speaker 1: That you have.
Speaker 3: You feel like you're in control, but you're not you're
Speaker 3: not because you're actually getting like taken advantage of.
Speaker 2: You're almost aware of it. You're using your like oh yeah,
Speaker 2: like it's me, yeah, to like downplay.
Speaker 3: I don't know how to describe what that is, but
Speaker 3: I'm sure some of the people are listening.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can relate to that. But or is that
Speaker 1: like to make yourself not feel I think too, maybe,
Speaker 1: But I don't know what it was. It was such
Speaker 1: a fucked up feeling.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't until like probably.
Speaker 1: Like a year or two later that I realized like
Speaker 1: I was taken advantage of.
Speaker 3: And and I realized that when I ran into him
Speaker 3: at a party like two years later, and I saw him,
Speaker 3: and I was like paralyzed, and like I felt like trauma, trauma,
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to I wanted to leave, and
Speaker 3: I didn't wanted to see me, and like I was
Speaker 3: trying to like avoid him at all costs, and like
Speaker 3: we didn't talk. I know he saw me, but I
Speaker 3: just was like he knew too. He knew because he
Speaker 3: didn't even tried to come.
Speaker 1: Over there and talk to me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And usually if you're all give with somebody, you leave
Speaker 2: someone good, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have no guilt, Yeah, but I couldn't.
Speaker 3: Like it's just it's one of those incidents like you
Speaker 3: just feel so like I felt shamed. I still feel ashamed,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean to talk about it because
Speaker 3: I know the woman that I am, and I know
Speaker 3: who I am now, and I know like even then,
Speaker 3: I knew I was capable of like come on, like
Speaker 3: I think back on that moment, America.
Speaker 1: Come on, like, yeah, me, I even had a conversation.
Speaker 2: I've done a lot of stupid, stupid shit, and it's
Speaker 2: a lot of it was like when being manipulated, not
Speaker 2: being like it just feeling strong, not feeling strong enough,
Speaker 2: not feeling strong enough.
Speaker 1: Honestly, that's really it.
Speaker 2: And it's like crazy that something still like your your
Speaker 2: body and like you're uncomfort your discomfort wouldn't be enough
Speaker 2: at any age to just be like nah, like well,
Speaker 2: I don't know that is tippy, Like why does it
Speaker 2: take thirty years for me twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty
Speaker 2: seven years to just be like no, like you don't
Speaker 2: mean like have confidence enough to.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that's crazy. I think what
Speaker 1: are we not telling our.
Speaker 2: Girls that it's that first of all men think it's
Speaker 2: okay because how many times also have you even like
Speaker 2: in high school or whatever, college shit last week, if
Speaker 2: you like, someone's trying you and trying you and trying
Speaker 2: you and trying you and trying and you're like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: No stop stop.
Speaker 2: They keeps rubbing on your back, fucking keeps rubbing and
Speaker 2: keeps touching you and try and try and touch you
Speaker 2: for trying, try and trying, try and.
Speaker 1: Be like no no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: And at some point you're like, fucking yeah, and it's
Speaker 2: definitely happened to me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, even that is like, no, dude, no,
Speaker 1: do you.
Speaker 2: Lack that much self control? But even that is a
Speaker 2: violation of your you know, well, I feel like.
Speaker 3: The word no has been changed so many times, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean? I feel like no can Sometimes
Speaker 3: it just feels like, oh, this is what she wants.
Speaker 1: She's trying to like.
Speaker 3: She's trying to let a hundred know, she's trying to
Speaker 3: like make beg for it, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: She's trying to make me beg for it. Or you know,
Speaker 3: they just don't know turns them on because they you know,
Speaker 3: they want to convince you, and they want to show
Speaker 3: you their dick or whatever that they can do it,
Speaker 3: and like you're gonna like this.
Speaker 1: Dick, you know what I mean? Dude, when I have
Speaker 1: a son, we don't play those type of games. It's
Speaker 1: just no turn turnover, leave immediately. Yeah, like that's yeah.
Speaker 2: Like first of all, you don't need any you don't
Speaker 2: need no pussy that bad. And second you're a girl,
Speaker 2: like you're a respectful, self controlled.
Speaker 1: Man and no it means no. And you have a
Speaker 1: mother and aunts and sisters.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're all messages that like boys need to
Speaker 2: know because what.
Speaker 3: In the fuck I mean even just like not even
Speaker 3: like like yeah the no, no, no, no, no of course,
Speaker 3: but like then there's moments where like you're having sex,
Speaker 3: you you initiates, maybe you initiated sex, okay, and then
Speaker 3: you start having sex and then you have sex and
Speaker 3: then you're like, wait, I don't really want to do this,
Speaker 3: but you just let it happen because it's easier. It's
Speaker 3: like you don't want embarrass them, you don't want to
Speaker 3: make it a thing, you don't want to be you
Speaker 3: just you know you're already here. You brought this on
Speaker 3: because you led him to believe you wanted this, you know,
Speaker 3: all those feelings that like we shouldn't have that, we
Speaker 3: should just be like, you know what, I don't want
Speaker 3: to do this.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, get off, thank you, have a good day,
Speaker 1: like or we could just chill again, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: You have no idea how many times I've been situations
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, And just like.
Speaker 3: And I can count on one hand how many times
Speaker 3: I've said get off, Yeah, I'm good. I've maybe, like
Speaker 3: I don't know how like probably twice. Yeah, out of
Speaker 3: all the times that I was like, I'm not really
Speaker 3: into this, right, even like having sex with like an
Speaker 3: ex boyfriend, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I'm even having sex.
Speaker 3: And and that's even more confusing because you're like, this
Speaker 3: is my boyfriend. We do this all the time. It's
Speaker 3: not like this is the first time. But like I
Speaker 3: don't want to have sex.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And that's happened to me, and I'm in a relationship
Speaker 2: and we're in an argument, and in my mind, I
Speaker 2: was like, this is weird, Like in my like I
Speaker 2: felt weird even repeating it to someone else, because like,
Speaker 2: this doesn't even sound doesn't even sound right. But if
Speaker 2: I fucking say no at any point in a relationship,
Speaker 2: married whatever, no, no, no, right, yeah, women definitely get
Speaker 2: brushed under the rug. I think that's why a lot
Speaker 2: of time times we feel guilt. We feel like it's
Speaker 2: our fault because everything like sex, women being like overly
Speaker 2: sexual a is not accepted, And then I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's just all a.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I just I think about, like, okay,
Speaker 3: how do I and because society, you can you can
Speaker 3: only teach your kids so much, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: because society also influences all these thoughts too, like what
Speaker 3: do I need to teach Iri to be strong enough
Speaker 3: to like, first of all, well, we need to be
Speaker 3: able to talk about sex with.
Speaker 1: Our kids, openly, openly about.
Speaker 3: It and not like just avoid the subject so they
Speaker 3: can kind of figure out limits on their own, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like we have to discuss it
Speaker 3: with them, because I mean, it wasn't discussed with me.
Speaker 1: I mean obviously my mom was like, no.
Speaker 3: One talks to your touches, your vagina, but she wasn't like,
Speaker 3: and you know what, I guess that if you're having
Speaker 3: sex and you don't want to have sex, you can
Speaker 3: say no, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, like when she
Speaker 3: found out I had These are things like when you
Speaker 3: find out your child still starting to have sex. These
Speaker 3: are the conversations you need to have with them, as
Speaker 3: uncomfortable as they probably are, they need to.
Speaker 2: Hear you didn't do it so much that they get comfortable.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel like we should have such an
Speaker 2: open dialogue. I mean, I know everything doesn't happened, how
Speaker 2: you whatever, but yeah, like this is going to be
Speaker 2: something we've discussed from like eleven on, because these are
Speaker 2: not to encourage it, but like you have the power.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's true, because how do you prevent that?
Speaker 1: Like just oh my god, it's so scary, it's terrifying.
Speaker 2: Even oh yeah, even to like we were both discussing.
Speaker 2: Like when I was like fifteen sixteen, there was a
Speaker 2: dude who knew how old we were, took us to
Speaker 2: the club, got me shit face drunk, like super drunk,
Speaker 2: to the point right black dot.
Speaker 1: I thought that I thought you slipped something in my drink,
Speaker 1: but like I know, I just block up when.
Speaker 2: I drink a lot of drink a lot, or maybe
Speaker 2: he did, I don't fucking know. I was sixteen years old,
Speaker 2: but like he was, he had to be shit in
Speaker 2: his thirties and who the fuck wants to hang out
Speaker 2: with the bitch in high school? And literally like who
Speaker 2: wants to fuck with like Loki pasted out bitch because
Speaker 2: like if I.
Speaker 1: Don't remember, you know what I mean? And because it's
Speaker 1: a whole Yeah, it's just immediate.
Speaker 2: Well maybe it is like that too, people like that,
Speaker 2: and so later we stay friends up until recently. And
Speaker 2: his girlfriend now was like twenty nineteen twenty when you
Speaker 2: met here, dumb and also like he would tell me
Speaker 2: that he likes like teen porn and now like I
Speaker 2: didn't want to like.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, oh, this is your thing. People prey
Speaker 1: on easily.
Speaker 2: They don't want to deal with women because they know
Speaker 2: they're not up to par for like girl woman, So
Speaker 2: they actually prey on like young.
Speaker 3: Yeah, women that are just learning about sex and what's normal,
Speaker 3: what's normal for sex and what isn't and they normalize
Speaker 3: a normal behavior right early.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, So there's just so many, so many levels to it,
Speaker 7: I know, And it's crazy because ninety percent of the
Speaker 7: time statistically it's someone that you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why you have to be careful, Like with
Speaker 3: family with you know, even when we had that talk
Speaker 3: with Jessica when she came on and she was talking
Speaker 3: about like talking about sex with your kids, like and
Speaker 3: she I remember she talked about that percent usually someone
Speaker 3: within your family like that, even.
Speaker 1: Aunts and uncles, they shouldn't be changing your kid. You
Speaker 1: just don't know. You just never know.
Speaker 3: And I was like, and at first I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I don't want to live in a world where like
Speaker 3: I just think I'm accused, Like I always think someone
Speaker 3: is going to be harmicy.
Speaker 2: But to eliminate it by only you the only deals
Speaker 2: that you and the dad, Yeah, eliminated And then like, yeah,
Speaker 2: your parents they raise you, how the unlikely but didn't.
Speaker 2: She also tell us about a case where the grandpa
Speaker 2: was touching the little boy mm hmm, and he was like,
Speaker 2: in diapers.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: So it's just yeah, and also go with your gut,
Speaker 2: because how do you feel like a lot of times, dude,
Speaker 2: it's in your gut, like you know, if something feels off,
Speaker 2: you know, something feels like comfortable and anything. If you
Speaker 2: don't know, you have that thought even one time, trust it.
Speaker 2: Don't take any chances with your fucking kids.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: It scares me.
Speaker 1: Of course, of course it's scary. I mean, you know what. Also,
Speaker 1: though I think I talked about this too, it's like
Speaker 1: I feel like.
Speaker 3: I feel like the like the because of the situation
Speaker 3: that I went through with my baby daddy and him
Speaker 3: being falsely accused of rape, like my perspective change. Like
Speaker 3: I've talked about this before, like he was a false
Speaker 3: accused of rape and the woman was lying.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And it's like when those situations happen, it gives ammunition
Speaker 3: to people like President Trump or like you know, these
Speaker 3: people that don't want to believe women, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: And it shouldn't take like just.
Speaker 2: A couple of liars, but like, see, you're all lying,
Speaker 2: you're all fabricating the truth.
Speaker 3: No, but because of that, that's where that that's where,
Speaker 3: that's where it's where the seed is grown out of you.
Speaker 1: Like I can't even believe that president our president. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't even call him President Trump, but he is
Speaker 1: our president.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, he has spoken out about the situation and saying like, oh,
Speaker 3: like all these lies and all of this and all
Speaker 3: of that and everything is created by the Democrats, and
Speaker 3: like all these got dam accusations ain't all lies.
Speaker 1: Bruh.
Speaker 3: It's like saying Bill Cosby, Uh, Bill Cosby's shit was
Speaker 3: all a lie. Like forty how many people came out
Speaker 3: was like crazy, forty thirty forty people came out Like
Speaker 3: at that point, one.
Speaker 1: Of somebody's not lying, somebody's selling the truth, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Do you talk about his sentence and
Speaker 1: his quarters? No? Yeah, so Bill Cosby was sentenced to
Speaker 1: three to ten years. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: have seen his mug shot, but sh is it's really creepy.
Speaker 1: It's sad.
Speaker 3: It's very sad and creepy. I mean, that's I don't
Speaker 3: know should have be said.
Speaker 1: Is it a limit? Kay? I'm trying to say as
Speaker 1: I'm smoking, I'm like an ash limit to go to jail.
Speaker 3: No, like a sad statutory rape, no sagitation, a limited
Speaker 3: statitute of womens.
Speaker 1: Yeah's limits of statutution. Oh my god, that's for fucking mind.
Speaker 3: A limit like there's like a time limit up until
Speaker 3: you can, like you know, be a quarter crime. Quarter
Speaker 3: crime that's only in rape. There's no limit of statute,
Speaker 3: limit of stuf altitude.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god, in murder is no, only only
Speaker 1: certain things? Why why rape? Because they don't give up?
Speaker 1: Because women, because women are the ones that usually getting rade,
Speaker 1: but they don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: They want to like, all right, you know, women, you
Speaker 3: have up until you have twenty years to talk about this.
Speaker 1: No, you've got twenty four hours if you don't report it.
Speaker 1: We don't get DNA. Yeah that's true, but no, you
Speaker 1: don't get the rape. Kate, you're dead. I can't believe. Well,
Speaker 1: I can't remember what the what is the How many
Speaker 1: years is it? Is it like three? Ten? You said?
Speaker 1: That's first of all, I don't know how many years
Speaker 1: do you have to report a rape?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Isn't it fifteen or ten?
Speaker 3: It's like fifteen, that's it has to be fifteen, Because
Speaker 3: I think, how long do you have to report a rape?
Speaker 1: Siri? Siri? How long do you have to report a
Speaker 1: rape which has happened? It sounds like talking with someone
Speaker 1: might help. The National Sexual Assault Hopline website.
Speaker 2: Offers content, Oh you did no, go back in there,
Speaker 2: it's not in here.
Speaker 1: Go look in there, close it down.
Speaker 4: You racey better see it, Lynette relaxed, calm down?
Speaker 1: How long was that like that? I just noticed. It
Speaker 1: doesn't fuck did sire answer? No, it's here's a number.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's fifteen years Okay, you might be right.
Speaker 1: It's because I mean the still Cosby should happened a
Speaker 1: while ago.
Speaker 3: I mean there were ones from way back in the day,
Speaker 3: but this was like one of I think this was
Speaker 3: the most recent.
Speaker 1: One, and that's why he got Yeah what you made? Wait?
Speaker 2: So okay, fifteen years ago he was he was useful
Speaker 2: enough to drug a bitch.
Speaker 1: And yeah, for sure, what wait? What are his quarters?
Speaker 2: He so he's in a single cell seven by thirteen
Speaker 2: feet ten foot ceiling.
Speaker 3: He can he has he can buy a tvablet, tablet
Speaker 3: and books, a radio, books, a radio, and a tablet
Speaker 3: for texting.
Speaker 1: Oh, to do emails, to do emails, so he can
Speaker 1: basically talk to whoever he wants all day long. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. I mean a tablet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it's just like a limited limited edition
Speaker 2: jail tablet.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh, and he's right by the infirmary, just in case
Speaker 2: anyone was concerned.
Speaker 1: But he might go into popular general population in ten days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you think they're going to do to it.
Speaker 1: He's probably gonna be the king.
Speaker 2: Of that fu.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: Also in the article we read, they said they've been
Speaker 2: calling him OG, which stands for original gangster. Don't ask
Speaker 2: us our source, but that's what the article said.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean fuck.
Speaker 2: The thing is I don't really feel bad for him
Speaker 2: because he looks.
Speaker 1: Like a pretty uncle. Who I know you did that ship,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I didn't get me away with ship.
Speaker 1: They've made an example, lot of billy example. I have
Speaker 1: to be an old black man. Why couldn't they guy
Speaker 1: like get someone? Well that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: He needed to get got, but I'm just saying that
Speaker 3: I couldn't. The first example been like, what's the guy?
Speaker 3: Everybody's going crazy? Oh Harvey Wine ste Yeah, well he's
Speaker 3: definitely going down. He better, he better go down because
Speaker 3: this ship is all recent. So many people are coming
Speaker 3: like people who are now yeah actively acting.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, nigga, you know what you did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Stevie's a creepy What are we doing.
Speaker 1: To raise creepy people is a question. Creepy men, creepy man.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's creepy woman too. We don't know. Of course
Speaker 1: there are there's a creepy women that molest girls, boys creepy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what's happening that it's just that, okay, which
Speaker 2: is the whole different thing. Because I sat next to
Speaker 2: this Oh my god, I wish I could find her
Speaker 2: name was I should look her up. I met this girl,
Speaker 2: Sarah I think her names stare on a plane. She
Speaker 2: works for Ashton Kutcher's nonprofit, which is like aimed geared
Speaker 2: towards finding people who like who make child porn and
Speaker 2: like do sex trafficking I think the United States globally,
Speaker 2: and she makes the actual program to like to find
Speaker 2: out the actual location or some shit. Anyway, we start
Speaker 2: discussing it on the plane and she basically says that
Speaker 2: it is somewhat like a mental illness, and the fucked
Speaker 2: up part is that because it's such a taboo thing,
Speaker 2: people aren't comfortable teenagers whatever, people aren't comfortable to come
Speaker 2: out and say I'm having these thoughts of children, blah
Speaker 2: blah blah, this way, I need help. And I think
Speaker 2: if you tell a therapist, they have to report you
Speaker 2: or something like that. So she's saying the problem is
Speaker 2: that there is no dialogue for people who have this
Speaker 2: illness because it is actually an illness, there has to
Speaker 2: first be like a place for them to feel like
Speaker 2: to say, be aware of it and tell someone to
Speaker 2: get help and not feel like.
Speaker 1: Is it an illness or is it trauma from their childhood?
Speaker 2: I guess like with this approach, it was an illness,
Speaker 2: but either way trauma or an illness. If that trauma
Speaker 2: has developed into use six shit, some sick shit, that shit.
Speaker 3: Fixed, I feel like we have a we have a
Speaker 3: way of making everything.
Speaker 1: Curable. When you're saying, what some shit is just like
Speaker 1: an illness or like.
Speaker 3: I think that I think that like should happen to
Speaker 3: people that definitely affects their life. You know, people have terrifying,
Speaker 3: horrible situations happened to them that you know, could potentially
Speaker 3: make them serial killers or rapists or whatever that may be.
Speaker 3: But I don't know if I would consider I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't think trauma is an illness, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? Because I think that's where that's like where
Speaker 3: it gets confusing, you know what I mean. Well, I
Speaker 3: think also that I think they are all there are
Speaker 3: people in this world that maybe you haven't experienced any
Speaker 3: trauma and they are still fucked up.
Speaker 2: Wait, okay, so you've seen Frankie and Alice. Yeah, that
Speaker 2: was that with Calgary. Yeah yeah, So it's this movie
Speaker 2: hal Iberi does and basically this relation amendous experience happened
Speaker 2: to her and she produces all these different personalities. She's
Speaker 2: a schizophrenic and doesn't recognize she's switching between these different
Speaker 2: personalities inside of her.
Speaker 1: And this is a true story, I know. So what
Speaker 1: I'm saying is if trauma, trauma can trigger.
Speaker 2: Trigger and you're like your cellular memory can be triggered
Speaker 2: so much that it does, it can be considered a
Speaker 2: mental illness. Even if it's inflicted, that's just trauma because
Speaker 2: just like we talked about, when shit happens to you
Speaker 2: as a kid, your body, your memory automatically does things
Speaker 2: that we may not even recognize, and it could and
Speaker 2: that I mean, I don't know if this is like
Speaker 2: behavioral behavioral traits, not saying that to the extreme that
Speaker 2: that's an illness, but I think it could be so
Speaker 2: severe that it becomes an illness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. Actually, you're right. You just convinced me,
Speaker 1: okays convinced it was based on the story.
Speaker 2: So I've come to the conclusion scientifically sold but also
Speaker 2: I really wanted to talk about too, the guilt that
Speaker 2: as victims when stuff happens to you, that you behold
Speaker 2: guilt and you're like, it's my fault.
Speaker 1: This happened because of X, Y and Z, and how
Speaker 1: important it is as we go into our adulthood.
Speaker 2: Even small things, big things, whatever, even things that you
Speaker 2: may have in some might consented to or didn't say
Speaker 2: anything and allowed the shit to happen. All of these
Speaker 2: things things we collectively need to be like, that's that
Speaker 2: I'm not letting this like this guilt and this this
Speaker 2: feelings that I didn't do enough like steer my whole life.
Speaker 2: I'm worthy, you know, and I can move forward and
Speaker 2: accept it and forgive myself and forgive that person in
Speaker 2: some way, shape or form or fashion, so you can
Speaker 2: release it and move forward and live at peace.
Speaker 3: You know. No, Yeah, I just had an equiphany when
Speaker 3: you were just saying all that. Sorry, I just realized
Speaker 3: that a lot of me and a lot of like,
Speaker 3: I think that situation with this guy that I had
Speaker 3: sex with and I didn't want to I think really well,
Speaker 3: A it steered me away from music for sure, Like
Speaker 3: I had so told you before, Like after that like
Speaker 3: I slowly kind of just stopped like wanting to do
Speaker 3: music anymore, Like I didn't want to. I felt like
Speaker 3: maybe I'm not good enough because the fact that he
Speaker 3: made me that he that I had to fuck him,
Speaker 3: or that he was suggesting that this is what had
Speaker 3: to be done, Like maybe I was just not that talented.
Speaker 1: So this is you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It really affected me and my confidence in like what
Speaker 3: I'm good at, you know, because especially because music had
Speaker 3: been so important to me and I felt like I
Speaker 3: was really good at it and it was like my
Speaker 3: whole life and then to find to put that in
Speaker 3: suddenly that was questioned.
Speaker 1: By an older person in power, and I believed it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And just how that can like shape the landscape of
Speaker 3: your life, Like who knows, maybe I would have like
Speaker 3: been more successful music had I just persevered and pushed
Speaker 3: through that and didn't let that situation like shape me
Speaker 3: in that way, right, And that's that's that's.
Speaker 1: Kind of scary. You're so probably so unimpressionable even that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You do think I could be fucking
Speaker 1: Britney Britney spears, bitch.
Speaker 2: You can't go with any bit more current than Britney
Speaker 2: gonna you want to do the next Britney Spears, baby, baby,
Speaker 2: that's gonna think. No one's gonna think your talents. I
Speaker 2: could notice Britney's talent. I could be something gone. I
Speaker 2: could have been launch all right, okay, all.
Speaker 6: Right, I.
Speaker 1: Can't be There's no limit. Wasn't it Britney pop? Because
Speaker 1: that'sn't you? Very differently I would write pops. But for me,
Speaker 1: I really wanted to do more. You know, you need
Speaker 1: to might have need to pull up those EPs for
Speaker 1: good girl. Don't make me pull them up making me
Speaker 1: the intro the intros to this episode. We need music.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, maybe I have like a really deep
Speaker 1: song I composed the beginning of this episode. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Oh my god, I have one. Can
Speaker 1: you called Seasons? Okay, I can't wait to hear it.
Speaker 1: You guys for a treat. Oh my god, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be so good.
Speaker 3: Anyway, anyway, that just like when you were talking about that,
Speaker 3: I was just like wow, Like I was kept thinking
Speaker 3: like how did that situation affect me? What did and
Speaker 3: how did I really feel after that happened? And I
Speaker 3: did I felt obviously like dirty, ashamed, but I also
Speaker 3: felt like I wasn't good enough.
Speaker 4: No no, no, no no.
Speaker 3: But I also felt like I wasn't good enough, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like I'm not worthy. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: I think I still carry that now. I think I
Speaker 3: already had that in me with my dad and like
Speaker 3: him not being around, But this was a different not
Speaker 3: good enough like my dad wasn't obviously thought.
Speaker 2: But sometimes when you're when you're used to receiving like
Speaker 2: a male attention in a certain way, we kind of continue.
Speaker 1: We kind of like it shows up in different forms. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it shows up in different forms because we're not realizing
Speaker 1: we're we're doing it because but it's almost like.
Speaker 3: Because like my dad, like for me, like my dad
Speaker 3: not being around and not choosing that to be in
Speaker 3: my life, I felt like not good enough to like
Speaker 3: for his love.
Speaker 1: Right with this, I felt like another man of power, not.
Speaker 3: A dead father figure, but maybe in some way, yeah,
Speaker 3: because he was guiding I wanted to guide me right,
Speaker 3: and then he wanted to have sex with me in
Speaker 3: order for that guidance to happen. So then like I
Speaker 3: felt like, well, maybe I'm what I'm providing. Like the
Speaker 3: music isn't good.
Speaker 1: Enough, right, So then that kind of correlated the other things.
Speaker 1: It's all correlated, you know, and it built upon it,
Speaker 1: and I think that's probably why I was.
Speaker 3: I've been very insecure in my life, not those not
Speaker 3: just those two situations, but they definitely for sure shaped
Speaker 3: a lot of things for me now that I'm thinking
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 1: Hey, you guys, guys enough, No, close close the door,
Speaker 1: close the door, close the door all the way. No, oh,
Speaker 1: don't hurt your fingers.
Speaker 2: I think even like high school, like that's why I said,
Speaker 2: whether you consented or didn't consent?
Speaker 1: Is even like high things just just shit, like even
Speaker 1: stupid she did in high school? College? I I wild out,
Speaker 1: like wild out, and even now is the adult have
Speaker 1: to go back and be like, Okay, what the fuck
Speaker 1: was going on here?
Speaker 2: But and was it like a lack of male attention
Speaker 2: from when I was young? Am I just fucking wild
Speaker 2: and free and crazy? Did it just sound fun? But
Speaker 2: also like do I subconsciously still have guilt from those things?
Speaker 2: Do I still not feel worthy and deserving? And that's
Speaker 2: why like when someone says something to me specific a
Speaker 2: trigger or something, but there's like even that's why I
Speaker 2: feel like even if you've consented to some shit or
Speaker 2: you need, you have to realise all of that because
Speaker 2: like what, anything that happens yesterday is yesterday and everything
Speaker 2: else is just moving forward.
Speaker 1: So that's true, it's true, it's true. Anyway. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: do we have a question about email?
Speaker 4: Do? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I still I think I think I'm happy.
Speaker 3: We're in a place now where you know, we're at
Speaker 3: least supporting each other more, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I don't really think things are changing that much, but
Speaker 3: they're slowly starting to and hopefully, like.
Speaker 1: Women just need to.
Speaker 3: Get in power powerful positions and just shut the ship down,
Speaker 3: shut it down, you need, it's just right, just go
Speaker 3: to oundboxes when it's recent. Oh going, Oh, okay, So
Speaker 3: we had a question from someone in our email, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, you can.
Speaker 2: Email us Parental Advisory gm b C at gmail dot com. Again,
Speaker 2: that's Parental Advisory GMBC at gmail dot com. Feel free
Speaker 2: to email us asking us, invite, telling us some horries,
Speaker 2: just to say, hey.
Speaker 8: Girl, hey, you know, free shit if you're gonna be
Speaker 8: in the LA area. Okay, So this is our question
Speaker 8: from anonymous. I have an eight year old daughter, who's
Speaker 8: my best friend, and it's been a whirlwind, whirlwind and
Speaker 8: raising her as I became a mom at twenty Now
Speaker 8: that I'm twenty nine, the sing and single, I'm curious
Speaker 8: on advice on dating and putting yourself out there but
Speaker 8: being cautious about letting people into my space and protecting
Speaker 8: my peace. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That sounds like two conflicting things. Wait, how does she?
Speaker 3: How does she? Basically, how do you put yourself out
Speaker 3: there and dating, but also be cautious about letting people
Speaker 3: into your space and protecting your peace?
Speaker 1: Yea filter? The filter, the akna happens out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, But is it like, don't lie yourself,
Speaker 2: don't try to compromise too hard in your brain to yourself,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Don't ignore the red flags. You see a red flag,
Speaker 1: believe it.
Speaker 2: You know who you're really not that into. And when
Speaker 2: you see that, when people tell you who they are,
Speaker 2: believed them. I mean, there's basic boundaries when dating. You
Speaker 2: can put yourself out there. You go on dates, obviously,
Speaker 2: don't bring people back to your house, maybe drive your
Speaker 2: own car maybe or separately. Always obviously, you don't immediately
Speaker 2: like introduce anyone to your kids. No guys should ever
Speaker 2: be around your kids without you.
Speaker 1: Being there period. I mean I don't know, Like you
Speaker 1: just have to feel it out protecting your peace. I mean,
Speaker 1: if he starts disrupting it early on, no, it's just
Speaker 1: gonna get worse. Yeah, what I mean, if you.
Speaker 2: Feel this should mean there should be no disruption of
Speaker 2: peace in the first eight months, six to eight, like
Speaker 2: literally like forty six.
Speaker 3: And also take a look at the like why your
Speaker 3: past relationships haven't worked, and try to notice the trends
Speaker 3: and see if there are any similarities popping up in
Speaker 3: him that remind you of your ex because or something
Speaker 3: you don't want in your life or don't want to
Speaker 3: attracting your life. Because I've had to do that, I've
Speaker 3: had to sit back and be like what is it that?
Speaker 3: Like why am I I'm dating the same person but
Speaker 3: in different forms? Like there are very different but they
Speaker 3: share one quality, which is narcissism.
Speaker 1: Why do I love people that love themselves too?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, but they shut up in different forms, Like
Speaker 3: there's the nerd narcissist, then there's a thug narcissist. Then
Speaker 3: there's like the yoga narcissist.
Speaker 1: Right, you know, there was all different types of versions
Speaker 1: of that, and so you know, like for me in
Speaker 1: dating right now, because.
Speaker 3: I feel like I am like, i'm very I'm actually
Speaker 3: really hyper aware of that too. I'm like maybe too
Speaker 3: hyper probably be like, oh my.
Speaker 1: God, it's conceded. He's conceded. He's conceited, and he just
Speaker 1: like looks in the mirror something he like wiped the book.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you love yourself.
Speaker 3: Let that buggers say, there, no, no, But it's just
Speaker 3: something that I just look out for now. But also,
Speaker 3: like you if you put out good energy and you
Speaker 3: put out love and you're like in a place now
Speaker 3: where you feel like you said you're ready to date,
Speaker 3: and like you feel like mentally you're in a good place,
Speaker 3: like you'll start attracting good people, and you know, you
Speaker 3: just have to kind of like feel it out.
Speaker 1: You have to feel it out.
Speaker 3: Because I definitely am like now that I feel like
Speaker 3: in such a better place than I did a year
Speaker 3: or so ago. Like I'm attracting different types of men.
Speaker 3: They're still not perfect men, all of them, but they're
Speaker 3: different than anything I've ever attracted. And also I think
Speaker 3: I'm also in a different place want to be different
Speaker 3: also well, babe, Okay, come in here. She's an't ask
Speaker 3: for issues. We're gonna take a quick break, guys, br
Speaker 3: b anyway, okay, sorry about that.
Speaker 1: We're back.
Speaker 3: I think we answered her question. I think, yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: just you have to get out there. You know what,
Speaker 3: you're filtering until you encounter. Yeah, you gotta get out there,
Speaker 3: that's true. And then you gotta filter.
Speaker 1: And you're twenty nine and your kids are your kid
Speaker 1: is older, like, get out, you're lucky.
Speaker 3: Get on tender asa, Yeah, get on that ship tender
Speaker 3: and bumble not bumble, just get on Instagram because apparently
Speaker 3: these days just using the d ms.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I think.
Speaker 3: Me and Jamil are both really tired, and Hi, the
Speaker 3: kids won't leave the room, so we're gonna We're gonna
Speaker 3: to end it now. So thank you so much for
Speaker 3: joining us. If you haven't checked out our last episode,
Speaker 3: you definitely should. It's a London Brown. We talked about
Speaker 3: if men and women can actually be with patonic friends,
Speaker 3: which was an interesting discussion.
Speaker 1: Don't don't touch that lamp.
Speaker 3: And do you want to say bye? You guys over here? Okay,
Speaker 3: all right, bye, okay one two three?
Speaker 2: Bye?
Speaker 1: Okay, mom, bad.
Speaker 3: Choice. That's Whennie follow us A good moms underscore bad
Speaker 3: choices and we will see guys.
Speaker 1: We a bye f Savada.
Speaker 3: I'm like Baba.
Speaker 1: I'm not Bobiba, I'm not b Staa.
Speaker 3: I'm like to Baba.
Speaker 1: I'm going to make it an hour, Savva.
Speaker 3: You go Savada by agreeing without you, I'm in Helen.
Speaker 1: You're not a good A three without your perfect vision.
Speaker 1: It's not a good without your mother.