WEBVTT - Bonus: Listener Stories, Episode 13

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<v Speaker 1>Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This January,

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<v Speaker 1>Danny's taking Family Secrets on the Road. To get your tickets,

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<v Speaker 1>visit Danny Shapiro dot com. I'm Danny Shapiro and this

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<v Speaker 1>is Family Secrets, the secrets that are kept from us,

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<v Speaker 1>the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we

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<v Speaker 1>keep from ourselves. I've heard from so many about your

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<v Speaker 1>own family secrets and realize that what we are creating

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<v Speaker 1>for each other on this podcast is a community, a

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<v Speaker 1>community for those who are looking for a safe and

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<v Speaker 1>supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end, we've created

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<v Speaker 1>a number for listeners to call in to record stories

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<v Speaker 1>to share here in this space. This week, I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>to share a few of those stories from our community.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, Hi, I have loved listening to this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast in it to really helped me process information that

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<v Speaker 1>I learned about a year ago. I had done a

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<v Speaker 1>DNA test to see my mother had always said that

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<v Speaker 1>we were partner of amannequin, but never really would talk

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<v Speaker 1>much about it, so I was just curious. So my

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<v Speaker 1>DNA came back and I didn't have any Native Americans.

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<v Speaker 1>No big deal. Um, I didn't see a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>family connections. But then I knew as d N a

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<v Speaker 1>knowledge approach, they're more able to specify where you come from.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just thought maybe some of the people that

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<v Speaker 1>I was connected to that was just a guess on

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<v Speaker 1>their part. And I had written to some people who

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<v Speaker 1>wrote me and asked like, do you know how you're

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<v Speaker 1>related to me? We have these names, and I had

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<v Speaker 1>written back and said, I don't have any names like

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<v Speaker 1>that in my family. Jumped forward three years later, Um,

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<v Speaker 1>I got my husband a DNA test and he was

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<v Speaker 1>looking at all his great family connections. And I went

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<v Speaker 1>back and read a response that I had gotten and

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<v Speaker 1>it said, okay, so just hear me and look at

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<v Speaker 1>your connections. I bet that if you look, you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to have this person, this person, and this person as

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<v Speaker 1>a connection. And that's my mother and my aunt and

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<v Speaker 1>someone else. So anyway, lots of going back and forth

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<v Speaker 1>with this person. I had no idea that he was

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<v Speaker 1>trying to let me figure things out that I had

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<v Speaker 1>a different biological father. I was fifty years old and

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<v Speaker 1>my father that raised me is already gone, and I

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<v Speaker 1>guess he had just gone in the year before. And

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<v Speaker 1>then the man that's my biological father was dead as well. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>my mother and father got divorced when I was four

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<v Speaker 1>when she was caught having an affair, and that person

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<v Speaker 1>she was having an affair with when I was four

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<v Speaker 1>is the man that is my father, So their affair

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<v Speaker 1>had been going on a long time. He died and

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<v Speaker 1>the other man died so married to the woman that

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<v Speaker 1>he was married to when I was conceived. He had

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<v Speaker 1>two older children with that wife and a daughter that

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<v Speaker 1>was put up for adoption when he was in high school.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's how they found that connection of these two people.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't know that we're joined genetically to them. So

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<v Speaker 1>now I'm training with how to approach my mother and

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<v Speaker 1>asked her about this and what he knew. And so

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<v Speaker 1>this hearing different people's stories has really helped me realize

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<v Speaker 1>that it's okay for me to be able to ask,

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<v Speaker 1>here's my family's secret. When I was about seven or

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<v Speaker 1>eight years old, I found a document when I was

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<v Speaker 1>in my mom's stewey and it was a document about

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<v Speaker 1>my dad. Found out that before they had gotten married,

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<v Speaker 1>he had gone to prison for robbing a bank. I

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<v Speaker 1>never was told about this, and up until the day

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<v Speaker 1>my dad died. He never told me. It was a

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<v Speaker 1>secret HEAT kept from me, and he kept it from

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<v Speaker 1>my brother until my brother was old enough. I guess

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<v Speaker 1>that he felt he could tell them, but it was

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<v Speaker 1>a big, you know thing, I guess for him. And

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<v Speaker 1>then later on in life, I decided to research his

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<v Speaker 1>name thanks to the Internet and found out she had

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<v Speaker 1>a huge criminal background in history that he was from

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<v Speaker 1>the time he was a teenager, he was in an

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<v Speaker 1>avid jail. My family's secret is actually pretty much just mine.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I'm keeping it from my family. Uh. When

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<v Speaker 1>I was younger, I was lected over a long period

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<v Speaker 1>of time by a neighbor of mind, uh, a kid

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<v Speaker 1>who was probably six or seven years older than it was.

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<v Speaker 1>So uh, it's kind of a gad situation where I

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<v Speaker 1>was still kid and I didn't tell anyone. No one

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<v Speaker 1>knew to this day, most of my family doesn't know. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, it was one of those things where people

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<v Speaker 1>disagree with this concept. But a repressed memory is something

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<v Speaker 1>that comes back your body forgets it's too traumatic. Your

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<v Speaker 1>body forgets it and it can come back later in

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<v Speaker 1>line with your body is in a place of safe

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<v Speaker 1>or in your trauma. As Buss UH. And I lived

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<v Speaker 1>in a different country and worked with a really hard

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<v Speaker 1>group of refugees situations, and in some traumatic womans fact

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<v Speaker 1>that came back to me and I realized what was

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<v Speaker 1>going on and what had happened, and I went through

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<v Speaker 1>I came back to the States and when there's some

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<v Speaker 1>intensive counseling and got the truth of it actually out

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<v Speaker 1>of my mind. And my family still doesn't know except

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<v Speaker 1>for my mom Um two is a truly wonderful woman,

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<v Speaker 1>but UH can kind of get towards my use of

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<v Speaker 1>tendencies when she cares so deeply. She wants to get

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<v Speaker 1>information from you to help, but it goes about in

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<v Speaker 1>a way that's just not not conducive for healing. UH.

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<v Speaker 1>And in a weak moment where I wasn't really ready to,

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<v Speaker 1>I ended up telling her. I ended up already get out.

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<v Speaker 1>It just came out of my body. So she knows.

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<v Speaker 1>And I told her once and she didn't handle it well.

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<v Speaker 1>It was her fault. Unless blame her. They never talked

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<v Speaker 1>about it again after that, just because she broke down.

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<v Speaker 1>It wasn't as we wasn't ready and I could tell

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<v Speaker 1>but to this day and none of the rest of

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<v Speaker 1>my family knows except for my mom, and we just

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<v Speaker 1>pretend like it never happened. So that's my story. If

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<v Speaker 1>you'd like to share your story, call one eight eight

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<v Speaker 1>eight Secret zero and record your story. We won't be

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<v Speaker 1>able to run all the stories, but we do want

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<v Speaker 1>to shine a light on as many as we can.

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<v Speaker 1>The number again is one eight eight secret and then

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<v Speaker 1>the numeral zero. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

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<v Speaker 1>favorite shows.