1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: Matthew Hussy on the show in a while. I saw 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: him walk down the hall lest you get him in here. Oh, 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: there he is, Hi, Matthew. That was a fast walk 4 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: down the hall. Welcome back to the show. It's so 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: nice to be back again. It's been literally years. It 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: really has. I mean, the pandemic kind of effed everything up, 7 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: didn't it? It? Really? Did it? Really? Did you? Did 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: you ever get COVID twice? I think you want it again. 9 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: The first time was fine, the second time was bad. 10 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: So I coughed so hard I broke a rib. I 11 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: kid you not. Oh my god, I know it's true. 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: It's a real thing. I'm so glad you're here. We 13 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: can talk about disease. Yeah, let's get into that again. Congratulations. 14 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:46,560 Speaker 1: I hear that you are getting married. I am in October. Yeah. 15 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: Did she know this? She knows, she knows as of 16 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: January last year. I think I proposed. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, 17 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: it's been it's been kind of a trippy experience for me. 18 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: I bet it it would be here. Here's my question. 19 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people are thinking this. We've 20 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: always had you on our show as a person who 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: helps us maneuver through and around relationships, but when you're 22 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: who helps you because relationships, they're not easy for anyone. 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: Relationships are a lot of work. Are you actually learning 24 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: more material for your yes, for your speeches? I mean 25 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 1: by being in a real life with a wonderful person. 26 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: I think I feel like the stuff I've been talking 27 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: about for a long time has been like a really 28 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: great pair of shoes that were too big for me 29 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: for a long time, and they, you know, they were 30 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: still a great pair of shoes. Everything I said was 31 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,199 Speaker 1: true and I believed in it wholeheartedly. But I'm still 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,400 Speaker 1: a person who's going through phases of life, and so 33 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: I think that I've grown into a lot of the 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: things that I've been saying for a long time. Do 35 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: you now now that you're in finally in a great 36 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: relationship with someone who's really wonderful do you sort of 37 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: go do you rethink some things that you thought were 38 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: true earlier and you're like, God, that was a bunch 39 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: of bs. I mean, really, you're learning. You're learning through 40 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: being in a real relationship. That's a good question, you know. 41 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: I think one of the one of the big things 42 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: that I continued to learn in every area of my 43 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: life is that if you live for the spikes in life, 44 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: you're you're in trouble, you know, if you if you're 45 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: always waiting for the next rush of some kind, and 46 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: if you're living for that, whether it's with food or 47 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: alcohol or porn, pawns saying for a friend, relationships, you know, 48 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: fun kind of exciting, wild like that, those encounters like 49 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: it's you're living for this, like you're living to be 50 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: at a level eleven, but then we all know you 51 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,839 Speaker 1: dropped down to like a four and then you kind 52 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 1: of are waiting for that next fix. And I think 53 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: that's true of everything in life. And I've for me, 54 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: what's beautiful about the relationship. I mean, it's a passionate relationship, 55 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: it's exciting, but it's it's not about the spikes anymore. 56 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: It's about a level of peace that I'm so grateful 57 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: for in my life because I've been in relationships where 58 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: I didn't have peace, where I was anxious all the time, 59 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: where I was miserable, but saying I was happy and 60 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: it just was it was hell. Now does she ever 61 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: say to you, yeah, this is a bunch of bollocks, Matthew. 62 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,679 Speaker 1: We did not put anything's coming out of your mouth, 63 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: forget it? Does she you know, does she ever say 64 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: that when I'm giving advice? Yeah, I'll go ahead. Yes, 65 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: I love that we can talk about her. Is that 66 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: she's not here? Right? Hey? But wait a minute, getting 67 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: back to the Spikes thing. This is a conversation we 68 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: had on our show several weeks ago. Yes, And you know, 69 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: science is telling us more and more and more that 70 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: as we reach for these levels of pleasure, we're really 71 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: kind of screwing ourselves a little bit. Yeah, we're killing 72 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: our dopamine because everything is so instant and we can 73 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: get gratified immediately, whether it's likes online or watching a 74 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: TV show from start to finish that you love. We've 75 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: really started to fry these dopamine receptors. And that applies 76 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: to everything in your life, including a relationship. It's so 77 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: so true, and I've I look at the areas of 78 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: my life where that's true these days, and I try to, like, 79 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: I delete Instagram when I'm not using it. This is 80 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: where you dropped to all of us. We nearly go 81 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: through five minutes. We'll get to that in a minute. 82 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: But no, no, you're right. For you. Instagram is like 83 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: it's like instant, you know, scrolling and seeing things like food, 84 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: porn and whatever. You you know, I'm sure you followed 85 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: some nasty nasty. I just realized I never came away 86 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: from Instagram feeling better. I always came away feeling less. 87 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: You know what, that's a that's interesting. See I only 88 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: look at puppies in Italian food and guys with their 89 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: shirts on sure, squirrel, squirrel even but even the stuff 90 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: like that, that's just I find myself looking at and going, well, 91 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: this is all innocent. I still it just is like this, 92 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: I've realized I've been hijacked, and I'm an hour later, 93 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing? Where am I right now? True? 94 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: And at that point I just realize that I have 95 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 1: no control over this, and so I just I delete it. 96 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 1: And every time I need to post something, I re 97 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: upload it, post and then delete it again. Yeah. Yeah, 98 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: you have a little game in your head. Yeah. I 99 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: can't do it. I can't trust myself with it. Congratulations, 100 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: you look you look happier than I've ever seen you. 101 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: Just saying thank you. I really feel that, I really 102 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: feel that I can tell let's make out. Now is 103 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: the time. It's really great for me. She is. Audrey 104 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: has no context for you. Her name is Audrey. I 105 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: was trying to you, can I she was terrified that 106 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: you were going to bring her on, and you still might. 107 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I would never do that, but she she 108 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: has no context for you whatsoever other than me saying 109 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: how much I love you. So it's really fun to 110 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 1: watch her facial expressions as she realizes in real time 111 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: who you are. Well, I'm so honored that you you 112 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 1: trusted us to beautiful Aubrey, and I would trust I'm shocked. 113 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: I'm shocked that you would have the audacity to expose 114 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: her to something so awful to us. Hey, by the way, Matthew, 115 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: I know people love to talk to you and ask 116 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: you questions about what they're going through in life and 117 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: maybe see what your take is. Uh. Feel free to 118 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: call eight hundred two four two zero one hundred and 119 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: by the way, a free ninety minute live training called 120 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: Dating with Results on February fifteenth for people who want 121 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: to find love in twenty twenty three but are sick 122 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: and tired of dating. Dating is a whole new world, now, 123 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: isn't it. Yeah. If you want to register for free, 124 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: go to Dating with Results dot com I'll give you 125 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 1: that address again in a little while. No, why a 126 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: ninety minute live training session called dating with a Result? 127 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: Why what what are you seeing out there that requires 128 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 1: you to do this? I'm seeing and I've seen this 129 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: for years, but it hasn't gotten any better. Is people 130 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: who really want one thing, they really want a relationship, 131 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: They want to be intentional about their love life. They 132 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: want to meet someone amazing and build with that person, 133 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: and then they do the exact opposite things like that 134 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: will get them that. I mean, look, let me give 135 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: you an example. I will you joked about Audrey kind 136 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: of saying I like laughing at the advice. The truth is, 137 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: she doesn't laugh at the advice, but she contributes to 138 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: it with the things that she has done in the 139 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: time that we've known each other. And one of the 140 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,239 Speaker 1: reasons that me and Audrey ended up together is because 141 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: she didn't do those things like, for example, when in 142 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: early in our relationship, I was I was kind of 143 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: the mess, not her. I was the one who I've 144 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: We met in London, I flew back to la we'd 145 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: had this amazing thing for a few weeks. We then 146 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: met in New York and that was wonderful for a 147 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: few days. I then went back to LA and I 148 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: did the classic thing of I wasn't being intentional about it. 149 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to take it somewhere and make it 150 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: work as a relationship. I was like, I don't want 151 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: to do the long distance thing. But I didn't stop 152 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: reaching out to her. I would kind of casual. I 153 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: would reach out every few days, increasingly with longer periods 154 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: of time in between those texts, and say something inane 155 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: like I miss you or thinking of you. You're bread 156 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: crumbing her? Yeah, And she then sent me a message 157 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: in response that said I think I said I miss 158 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: you one of these times. And she said, I don't 159 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: really know what to say when you send me a 160 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: message like that. To be honest with you, it hasn't 161 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: felt like we've been close for a while now, and 162 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: rightly or wrongly, messages like this just come across like 163 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: a bid for attention. Yes, I love you for that, Well, okay, fabulous, 164 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: and well, no, hold on a second, what happened here? 165 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: You're supposed to be here giving us advice. I feel 166 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: like we should hug you. I feel like we should 167 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: get you drunk or stone or do some blow or 168 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: something something to lift you up ecstasy. I fold, like 169 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,719 Speaker 1: we should go dancing, like lift up your spirit. No. I. 170 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: So it was. It was beautiful because it really put 171 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: an end immediately to a pattern that could have persisted, 172 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: and often between people does persist for a long time. 173 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 1: So you know, you what you now can do, what 174 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: you can now say with license is hey, I see 175 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,679 Speaker 1: you are going through this. I was just going through 176 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: the same thing, and here's what got me out of it. Yeah. 177 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: I think this adds to your credibility because you're a 178 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: real person talking about it here. Yeah. Well I'm not. 179 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: I haven't helped anyone else except for yourself. No, I 180 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: you know, for me, I think that I think people 181 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: have most There are some truly bad people, and there 182 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: are people that just seem to have it all worked 183 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: out and do the right things all the time. And 184 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: then there's this huge swath of people in the middle 185 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: where we all are, certainly where I was, where you're 186 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: sort of swing voter as far as you know good 187 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: and bad is concerned. And I think you come across 188 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: people who force you to raise your standard by the 189 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: standards they have for themselves. That's it. That's it. I 190 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: am who I am because of who I am with you? 191 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: And what a what a beautiful thing to say about 192 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: someone's look you decide? Why are you going to no? I? 193 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: So this is a question I think for a lot 194 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: of people who are dating. Where is the line between 195 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: being very honest and true and intentional with how you 196 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: feel versus being a little thirsty and coming off as 197 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: desperate by saying and I'm not saying this about you, 198 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: but I miss you too soon, even if you mean it. 199 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: You know, how do you walk that line anymore? It's 200 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 1: a dance, It's a game, right, it seems like it. 201 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: I think you have to be well. I think you 202 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: have to be honest with yourself because we all feel 203 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: things in early dating that are very intense. But it 204 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: doesn't make it a good idea to say those things 205 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: because you don't even know if they're real yet, Like 206 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: we're all prone to that. I think you know this 207 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: term love bombing that's big in dating now, This idea 208 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: that someone comes along they lavish you with praise and 209 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 1: attention and all these big grand gestures, and it makes 210 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: you fall in love with them really fast because they're 211 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: coming on so strong, and it feels good that they're 212 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: coming on that strong, but it's also there's something a 213 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: little suspect about it, and you have to be careful. 214 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: And the reason you have to be careful is love bombing. 215 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: Either on the extreme end of the spectrum suggests a 216 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: kind of narcissism, but even on the benign end, it's 217 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:50,599 Speaker 1: someone with really poor impulse control, yes, and addictive personality. 218 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: I'm sure triggered because that's me. Yeah. Well no, you 219 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: know what, can we all just because we're living in 220 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: a world full of static in fright and whatever, and 221 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 1: sometimes we jump, we jump the gun, we go too fast, 222 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 1: we say things just to try to like reel them in. Well, 223 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: that's exactly right. That's the problem. We're so busy trying 224 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: to get something that we don't think about what the 225 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: concerts of consequences of that are. And we also forget 226 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: that we don't know this person. You just had the 227 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: most magical first date in the world, and you think 228 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 1: so much of this person and this could be it. 229 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: And you've literally spent two hours with someone you have 230 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,959 Speaker 1: no idea who they are. You don't know who they are. 231 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: When someone in your family gets sick, you don't know 232 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: who they are when you show something that you're shameful 233 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: about that you think someone's going to reject you for 234 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: you don't know, like you just don't know. Character can 235 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: only be measured as the average of someone's actions over time. 236 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 1: It cannot be gleaned from a couple of hours with 237 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: someone beautifully, So can I ask what you roll back 238 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: to that text message to Charlie after she said that 239 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,079 Speaker 1: I saw, No, I don't. I can't say that there 240 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: was anything I said that was as poetic and wonderful 241 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: was what she said. I think I sort of sauntered off, 242 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: and when I think, did you actually think about it though? 243 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: Did you give it thought? Oh? But it stopped. Look, 244 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: it didn't make me suddenly go I must have a 245 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: relationship with you right now. What it made me do 246 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: is realize, oh, I can't do this with this person. 247 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 1: And so I stopped that nonsense like I was immediately 248 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 1: just stopped in my tracks. Good. And I've realized if 249 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 1: I go back to this person, it has to be 250 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: with some intent because this will not be tolerated here, 251 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: which is exactly what you want. As we take a break, 252 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: and we must, we'll be back with your questions, and 253 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: we also have a live issue going on in Jacksonville, Florida. 254 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: We have to give. I know that the story you 255 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: just told is resonating with someone right now, and they're going, hum, 256 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: let me rethink how I'm communicating with this person. I 257 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: owe it to them, but you owe it to yourself. 258 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: You owe it to yourself to have solid intention and 259 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: being aware of where are you going with this crazy 260 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 1: conversation you're having not only with them, but in your 261 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: own head right and not exactly that and not appropriating 262 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: their excuse. I see this a lot, you know, when 263 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: you hear someone, you see two people who are dating, 264 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: and it could go either way round. But he may 265 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: say to her, you know, I'm just in a stage 266 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: of my life. I'm just I'm just having fun, just 267 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: seeing where it's going. And then when her friends ask her, 268 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: how's it going with this guy that you're really excited 269 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: about that you're seeing, she goes, you know, we're just 270 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: having fun and seeing where it's going and just seeing 271 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, he's en triloquising her right now, 272 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: Like this is not her. She wouldn't say something like 273 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: this normally, but she's appropriated his excuse because it's easier 274 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: than feeling rejected that someone doesn't want the same things 275 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: as you want. Right Meanwhile, she's got a pinter sport 276 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: of their wedding. By the way, the word of the 277 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: day has been triloquising. I've got to take a break. 278 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: Calls on the way more with Matthew and you if 279 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: you want to call eight hundred two four two zero 280 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: one hundred, text if you wish at fifty five one hundred. 281 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: The whole show really is on a slippery slur now, 282 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 1: mister ran In the Morning Showndy's homestyle French toast sticks 283 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: are so good. Some are saying they're better than your 284 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: own mom's French toast. Perfectly crispy on the outside, perfectly 285 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: fluffy on the inside, perfectly perfect in every way. Try 286 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: Wendy's homestyle French toast sticks today and see if they're 287 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: better than your mom's fat. Radio show Morning radio Show, 288 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: I'm the best. I'm the best on the radio. Ever, 289 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: like you connect around now say the same thing. Take 290 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 1: chaste faith. They all want the naked mister thing that 291 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: what's running throughty spaces make way for a car. In 292 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: the Morning Show Here with Matthew Hussey, Olivia You've been 293 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: in a relationship for seven months and you ask us 294 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: this question, is it too early to tell my boyfriend 295 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: and that I love him? That's a hard one to 296 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: answer because we don't know what you guys have been through. Olivia, 297 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: how are you? By the way, you're feeling good? Hi? 298 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel if I'm going to pass out. 299 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: I have to pull over on the side of the road. Please, no, 300 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: you drive eighty miles an hour and pass out. That's 301 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: what I do. Hey. I say hi to Matthew and 302 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 1: say hi to Olivia. Hello, Hi, Olivia, Hi, Hi? Are 303 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: you good? Good? I'm excited to talk to you. So 304 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: I've been dating my boyfriend for about seven months now. 305 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: He's like super slow with the whole process. It took 306 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: him like a while for him to be like, Okay, 307 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 1: you're my girlfriend, which is like really silly, But I 308 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: guess it's kind of what you were talking about before. 309 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: Where's that line where you kind of like scared them 310 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: off a little bit? When is it too early to 311 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: tell somebody that you love them? I think you almost 312 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: have to start with what you want, Olivia, Like what 313 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 1: part of your what stage of your life are you in? 314 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: What are you looking for right now, what do you 315 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: want to build? I mean a relationship where I have 316 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 1: a partner and you know, we're living together and taking 317 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: all those next steps. I'm not looking for something casual 318 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: which he knows and can I ask how old are you? 319 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,719 Speaker 1: Twenty eight? So you want to start building something with someone, 320 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: That's an important thing to for you to recognize straight away, 321 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: because that's there's therefore a culture that you want to create. 322 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: And most of us go into our lives if we're 323 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,400 Speaker 1: not careful, if we haven't decided the culture we want 324 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: for our lives, we just end up becoming part of 325 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 1: the culture of whatever it is we come into contact with. 326 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 1: A Mitch Album said, if you don't that so many 327 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: people don't like the dating culture out there right now. 328 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: There's a wonderful Mitch Album line which is, if you 329 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 1: don't like the culture, you have to be brave enough 330 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: to create your own. And so you're kind of it's 331 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: almost like you're you're worried about the culture that he's 332 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: bringing to the relationship, which is one of I'm I 333 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 1: don't want to say we're in a relationship. I'm not 334 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 1: someone who jumps into saying I love you. And you're 335 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: not worried enough about your own culture, which is I'm 336 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,719 Speaker 1: actually looking to build something here. So I think you 337 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: can say to this person, I look, I'm having an 338 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: amazing time with you. I love that we're in a relationship. 339 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: I want to feel like we are moving forward and 340 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: there's a progression here. It doesn't have to be all 341 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: at once, but I want to feel like there's a progression. 342 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 1: And I'm the kind of person that if I feel strongly, 343 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,479 Speaker 1: I want to say it, and there's you know, I 344 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: want to tell you I love you, but I'm also 345 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 1: feeling resistance from you on your side. Are you in 346 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 1: a position where you feel comfortable saying that. That is 347 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 1: a very good point, But what's stopping stopping you from 348 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: saying that, Olivia, That's what I'm curious about. I guess 349 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,160 Speaker 1: it's just scaling him away and having him pull back, 350 00:18:54,320 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: because that right there, that's the issue that fear seven 351 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: months in, which is not a short amount of time. 352 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: It's I'm not saying you have to be getting married 353 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 1: right now, but it's not a short amount of time 354 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 1: to know that you really feel that way about each other. 355 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: So at that point you have to be more worried 356 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: about what your north star is than scaring off the 357 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: wrong person, because the wrong person, by definition, is someone 358 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 1: who doesn't have the same vision as you do. You 359 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: understand that you can't someone can't have a different vision 360 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 1: from you and be the right person. We have this 361 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: misconception in life that if I really like someone, they're 362 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 1: the right person. That's not true. You have to someone 363 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: who's right is someone who actually shares your vision for 364 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: what they want. They can't. That's why whenever someone says 365 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 1: someone got someone dumped me, someone broke my heart, but 366 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: they're the love of my life, they're not. You may 367 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 1: feel you're in love with them, but you can't be 368 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: in love at someone, and if they've decided they don't 369 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: want you, then they're not the love of your life. 370 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: If they just feel like that, you couldn't be disappointed 371 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: they weren't the one, but you can't grieve as if 372 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: they were the one. Does that make sense, Olivia, You've 373 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,199 Speaker 1: gotta be less worried about scaring this person off and 374 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: more worried about what you actually want. What's the culture 375 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: I want? I want to relate. I'm Olivia, and I 376 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: want a relationship where I can actually express myself. I 377 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: want a relationship where I can actually say things that 378 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: I say. I love you because I'm an affectionate person, 379 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: because that's what I like. I want a relationship or 380 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 1: I can walk down the street holding hands with you. 381 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 1: Because I'm a tactile person. I'm not going to continue 382 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: to try to please someone all the time and pander 383 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 1: to their culture if their culture makes them incompatible with me. 384 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 1: Preach yes. And I think it's important too. You know 385 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,680 Speaker 1: you always say not you, but in general, people say, 386 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 1: don't get into a relationship with the intention to change somebody, 387 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,159 Speaker 1: and also don't change yourself too much to try and 388 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: cater to a person who doesn't like you for who 389 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: you are. Olivia, you know you call it wondering how 390 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: to deal with this guy? Now, it's all about how 391 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 1: you deal with you. Is that exactly what you think 392 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 1: you should have? I could, I'll be honest. There's a 393 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,640 Speaker 1: lot of people, including myself, we should all be listening 394 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: to this advice. It's very good advice. What do you think? Yeah, 395 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 1: I think I think all of that is completely true. 396 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: But I think the problem is is that I know 397 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: that feels the same way I can feel it. He 398 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 1: just doesn't say it because he's not that he doesn't 399 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: express his feelings verbally the way that I do. So 400 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: it's not even so much that I'm trying to change him, 401 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: because I know that we're on the same page, and 402 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 1: I feel that we're on the same page. I just 403 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 1: I guess it's like I don't want to say it first. 404 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 1: How long is that? How long are you gonna be 405 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 1: okay with that? I don't know. Can you look at 406 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: the calendar and tell me what date later this year? 407 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: Are you going to say? Well? No, you know, I 408 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: don't know. But you know, I think that the advice 409 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 1: that in the conversation you just had with Matthew or 410 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 1: from him is actually very it's really great advice, and 411 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,200 Speaker 1: we want all the great things for you, Olivia. Now 412 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 1: you have to get off the phone and go figure 413 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: it out for yourself. This is when the scary part 414 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 1: start starts. Right now. Ready, you can do it. You 415 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:06,120 Speaker 1: deserve you deserve it. Always remember that. Okay, yes, thank 416 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:07,639 Speaker 1: you so much. I think I'm just gonna say it, 417 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, Olivia. You good for you. By 418 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 1: the way, and something I noticed about Matthew, you don't 419 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: bite your nails anymore. Why did you have to throw 420 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 1: in any moore to say you used to bite your nails, 421 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 1: but now they're not manicured. Maybe it's because I'm happier. 422 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: Maybe the anxiety is left. You figured out there's really 423 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,880 Speaker 1: not a lot of nutritional value and fingernails. Hey, Froggy, 424 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: where's Lisa? Where's Lisa? I think she's at the appointment 425 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: that caused said disagreement. Okay, what do you mean? Okay, 426 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 1: what happened? I don't think Matthew should be helping a 427 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 1: relationship when only one of you is here, you know, 428 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: you know what, because actually I'm asking for helping this case. 429 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: I'm not blaming Lisa. Okay, go, So what happened is 430 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 1: yesterday Lisa told me she had a busy day today 431 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,880 Speaker 1: and she did go down to Lissa things she had 432 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: to do, and one of them was go to the 433 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: doctor this morning. That's all I heard she was going 434 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: to the doctor this morning. So when she woke up, 435 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: I just said, hey, I know you have a lot 436 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 1: going on today and you get to go to the doctor. 437 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,239 Speaker 1: You got this year that and she goes, what am 438 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,239 Speaker 1: I going to the doctor? Four? And I didn't know. 439 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,199 Speaker 1: I had no idea. She didn't tell me, but I 440 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 1: don't know, and so she's like, it bothers me when 441 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 1: I tell you all the things I have to do 442 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,640 Speaker 1: that you only take bits and pieces, And she's very right, 443 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: I do. I only I took doctor zoom call and 444 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,400 Speaker 1: she had to take one of our dogs somewhere. I'm 445 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 1: not listening for the details. How can I change that 446 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,119 Speaker 1: to where I hear more of what she's saying in 447 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: process it not just take the bits and pieces. Such 448 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:40,400 Speaker 1: a good question. And it's funny because I'm literally looking 449 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 1: at Audrey, who's giving me a look right now as 450 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: if to say, that's exactly you. It is. It's a 451 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of us, it's for sure. I think the things 452 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: it brings to mind for me, when is she saying 453 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 1: all of these things to you? Because I think when 454 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 1: someone says those things to us and we're kind of 455 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 1: in the middle of something, it we're not tuned into it. 456 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: We're then multitasking and we're not hearing everything that they're saying, 457 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: so we're not intentional about listening, and they've kind of 458 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: chosen a random moment to dump all of this information 459 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,159 Speaker 1: on us. And then it's frustration that if you. You know, 460 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 1: it's almost that the messages, if you love me more, 461 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: you would hear everything that I'm saying. But I think 462 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 1: a big part of it is almost like a strategy thing. 463 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: It's how can firstly, how can I show you that 464 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 1: my not hearing everything you said has nothing to do 465 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,919 Speaker 1: with how much I love you? Right? We are different 466 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: in that respect, like we are You're detail oriented in 467 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 1: this way and I'm not. This is like there's a 468 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 1: lot of information there, and my brain captures the important 469 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: parts or what it thinks is important, and doesn't remember 470 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:52,640 Speaker 1: the rest. So I think decoupling the not hearing everything 471 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: from being about love is important. But I think then 472 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: on the other side, it's what I try to do, 473 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: and I'm not This is not me preaching because I'm 474 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 1: no expert here, and Audrey will tell you that. But 475 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: what I try to do is say to Audrey, like, 476 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: if you if I'm in the middle of an email 477 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: or something and you start telling me things, I'm absolutely 478 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: not going to hear what you have to say, well, faithful, hateful. 479 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: But what I would say is if I'll almost be 480 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: more intentional about it and be like, Okay, I'm going 481 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,959 Speaker 1: to stop what I'm doing right now and listen to everything, 482 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: but I'll also communicate to her, you know, if I'm 483 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: in the middle of something like, I need to be 484 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: able to just focus on this and then I'll sit 485 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: and give you my full attention. So I try and 486 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 1: just demarcate these things a little more. When I got 487 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: out of that, I wasn't listening. When I got out 488 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 1: of that was truly it's foundation at its core, it's 489 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 1: you know, I love you, but I don't always hear 490 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 1: everything you say. But I'm not saying it's not important. 491 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 1: It is important. Now what is it you want me 492 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: to know and start over? I think you're okay. She 493 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: you know she puts up with a lot with you. Yeah. No, no, 494 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 1: as you do with her. No, no, no, yes, you all? 495 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 1: What'd you say? Twenty one? Where is this right here? Hello? Tracy? Hi, 496 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: Hello lady, Hello lady. Last time Matthew was here, he 497 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 1: gave advice on ending a relationship and you did. Are 498 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 1: you saying this is some of the best advice you 499 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 1: ever received from Matthew Hussey? Is this true? Absolutely? Yes? 500 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: It was definitely before before pandemic? Is what you said? 501 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: Talk about? Hello? Yeah, your phone is messed up. Okay, 502 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 1: go ahead, hello, I don't want that to happen. Sorry. Um. 503 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: So it was before the pandemic and the caller called 504 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: in and they were pretty much ignoring the red flags 505 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: the whole time, and then just the way that Matthew 506 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 1: described it, it it was just another way where I was 507 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: ignoring the red flags and my relationships and legit, that 508 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: night I broke it up with my boyfriend and it 509 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 1: was the best advice. Yeah, there was sad, sad moments, 510 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: but it was it was great. I don't know, I 511 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,959 Speaker 1: don't know how to explain it, Matthews, breaking up relationships. 512 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:14,199 Speaker 1: Look at you breaking up relationships. Happy when that happens, 513 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 1: as I am when someone finds love as a result 514 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 1: of what I do, because that's it can be genuinely 515 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,639 Speaker 1: life saving. When someone leaves the wrong relationship, you've got 516 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 1: your time back, and that's the thing you can never 517 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: get back. So the Tracy, what was the red flag 518 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 1: that you could have ignored but at that point stopped ignoring. Well, 519 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,879 Speaker 1: we were both you could. I could tell he was 520 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,120 Speaker 1: unhappy and that was making me sad and unhappy. But 521 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: we I don't know, I just didn't want to like 522 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: lose that connection. So that's where I just kept ignoring 523 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,719 Speaker 1: that he wasn't truly happy. And then finally I was like, 524 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: you know what, you want to leave Wisconsin. Sorry it's 525 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 1: a fun stay, but it's not fun for some people. Um. 526 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 1: And I was like, you can leave, this is really 527 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: what you want. And he thought about it and was like, 528 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm I'm moving and I just don't 529 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 1: want to live here anymore. And that's where we ended relationship. 530 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: And that's how it ended. And we were together for 531 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: five years. So what a great moment that was for 532 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:10,280 Speaker 1: you and for him, And let's be honest, good for you, Tracy. 533 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 1: So where are you now? Thank you? And Wisconsin of course, 534 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: But but other than that, where are you? As for 535 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 1: as relationships go or does it matter? I am in 536 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: a new relationship. We've been together for to a little 537 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: over two years, and um, it's a long distance relationship 538 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,199 Speaker 1: where he's failing over the border, but I'm soil with 539 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: Saxon and we see each other in person one or 540 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: two times a week depending on our kids schedule, but 541 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: otherwise we talk every day and FaceTime. We make it 542 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: work and we're both actually really happy. Good for you. 543 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: By the way, Wisconsin is called and their new state 544 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: motto is Wisconsin fun for some people. Tracy, It's an 545 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: honor to speak with you and thank you. Thank you 546 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: for doing the reach around with thank you. All right, thanks? 547 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: What have you on the phone. I'll be in New 548 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: York in April. Any fun restaurants to go to. I'm 549 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: trying to like no, no, no New York our city 550 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 1: motto of New York where there are really no fun restaurants. 551 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: Carmines is great. Go to Carmines. Promised me you will, okay, okay, 552 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 1: all right, Tracy, It's an honor to talk to you. 553 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: There you go, by the way. Uh. February fifteenth, the 554 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: day after Valentine's Day, What an appropriate day for Matthew 555 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 1: to do this live training called Dating with Results Finding 556 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: Love in twenty twenty three, the day after Valentine's Day. 557 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: People will be crying at your Matthew it. Yeah, but 558 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: it's free, did you It's true? It's complimentary. The word 559 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 1: free is cheap and tawdry. If you go to Dating 560 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: with the Results dot com, that's Dating with Results dot Com. 561 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,160 Speaker 1: Sign it up and you can get ninety minutes of 562 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: this big honk of man right here, Matthew Hussey, one 563 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 1: more call and then all our lives. Hello, Jen, alright, 564 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: good morning, welcome to the show. You're you're in the 565 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: hot seat. Only ten and a half million people listening, 566 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 1: So let's get to it. Uh, Jen, I don't know 567 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,240 Speaker 1: why I said that. Jen's currently in a relationship high However, 568 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: early on in the relationship, your partner was deceitful, disrespectful 569 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: and inappropriate, and he was quite a turd. Uh. But 570 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: you went to counseling, but things don't seem to be improving. 571 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: This is how many years in, We're about two and 572 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: a half years in, quite a long time. You don't 573 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: trust him, I don't. I don't know. I'm going to 574 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: say genuinely. No, Um, we don't need Matthew for this. Yeah, yeah, 575 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: well no, but something's keeping you in and that's what 576 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: you need to kind of uncover. What do you think, Matthew, Well, Jen, 577 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: if you're honest with yourself objectively, have the things that 578 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: bothered you at that time, the traits that you saw 579 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 1: in him that you didn't like, that were disrespectful, deceitful, 580 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: has that genuinely changed or was there just a kind 581 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 1: of he was well behaved for a bit and now 582 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: you're starting to see some of those things re emerging. 583 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: Has there been a permanent change in the relationship. Yes, 584 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: it'll be good for a while, and then it was 585 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: that's a problem. That's the problem. Yeah, because you're after 586 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 1: you've been betrayed. The thing that has to change is 587 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: the traits and the bat You have to really believe 588 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 1: that someone has had a shift in the way that 589 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,959 Speaker 1: they think and behave in the relationship, and that has 590 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: to be something that is a permanent one. If you 591 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: see it oscillating and you're like, well this he keeps 592 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: going back to the same traits, then he hasn't He's 593 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 1: only changed to get his needs met. He hasn't changed 594 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 1: because he genuinely believes in the changes he's making. You 595 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 1: can't if he's just changing that stuff to please you 596 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,719 Speaker 1: instead of realizing, oh, I don't like the person I 597 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: was then, and I'm genuinely going to do the work 598 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: to change those things. Whether it's with a therapist, a coach, 599 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: or by myself. I'm going to do that work, which, 600 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: by the way, is really really hard work to do changes. 601 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 1: So there's a great quote by Jacob Ambroud that's consider 602 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 1: how hard it is to change yourself, and you'll realize 603 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: how foolish it is to think you can change somebody else. 604 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: Even everyone woke up on January first, I would say 605 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 1: ninety percent of people woke up thinking I want to 606 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 1: change something about my body. I want to go to 607 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: a gym or train or do something. And those are 608 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 1: people who are really motivated to do it. What percentage 609 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: of those ninety percent are still doing it now in 610 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: February very few? And those are people who want to change. 611 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: So when you now take a guy who's deceitful or inappropriate, 612 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 1: if he hasn't fundamentally decided he wants to change, then 613 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: he's never going to change. It won't be because you 614 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: want him to. If he changes periodically, it's because he's 615 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 1: not getting his needs met in the moments where you 616 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: don't trust him, and he knows. By temporarily making you 617 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 1: trust him again, he's getting his needs met again. And 618 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 1: then when you quiet down, so the changes he made 619 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: revert back to his default. So this is no longer 620 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: about him. This is about Jen. Yeah, this is about 621 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 1: you now. Once her guard's not up anymore, he reverts 622 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 1: right back to his own ways, does that bother you 623 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: to hear that? In my opinion anyway? And I'm by 624 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 1: no means my professional. It's all about you, now, Do 625 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: you do realize that? Right? Yeah? Absolutely, And that makes 626 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: a lot of sense because I think I was really trying, 627 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: you know, I tried for a while, and like I said, 628 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 1: we did go to therapy and the therapist actually terminated 629 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: the sessions herself because she said, this is not going anywhere. 630 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: So even yeah, even that spoke volumes. But no, I 631 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 1: appreciate you, you know, walking me through that, and it's 632 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: good to hear it from someone else's perspective. Yeah, I 633 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: think you. I think you already know the answer. And 634 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: when someone you're paying to help you stops wanting your money, 635 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: that's a fairly sure sign that they have decided there's 636 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 1: something really wrong about that situation. Hey, you know what 637 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: I want you to think about as we roll on 638 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: is I want you to look yourself in the mirror 639 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: and starts smiling and thinking about that moment that you're 640 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: going to be totally free from this and you're free 641 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: to fly anywhere you want, hang out with anyone you want, 642 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 1: make any decisions you want to make. You don't have 643 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: to worry about someone else. It's all about you. And 644 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 1: then when you can get to that place, then you're 645 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 1: free to go find that find remarkable love that's so true, 646 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 1: and Jen, that the feeling I want you to remember 647 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 1: if and when this ends, I want you to that. 648 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 1: I want you to connect to the piece you're going 649 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 1: to feel, because you're going to feel heartbroken on some 650 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 1: level and you're going to grieve the relationship. But what 651 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: you will have in your life that you'll initially won't 652 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 1: connect with because you'll be too much in pain, is 653 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: that Actually, what you've got now is a real state 654 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: of peace because you're no longer waking up every day 655 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: with that anxiety or that fear that the other shoe 656 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: is about to drop. And when you connect to how 657 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: good that piece feels, that's a beautiful place to be. Jen, 658 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: thanks for your call. Best of luck to you, and 659 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 1: thanks for listening to us. Thank you so much. I 660 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,520 Speaker 1: love you, guys. Thank you, thank you, No, thank you 661 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 1: for calling God. I wish I had that. I'm gonna 662 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 1: go him and divorce Alex. I'm excited about that moment. 663 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 1: I'm free. You've talked me into leaving my marriage. You're 664 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: the best. Oh boy, I just hope if I haven't 665 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 1: talked Audrey into leaving, I'm sure once Audrey met her, 666 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: she's pretty much done with you. Hey, um, it's so 667 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 1: great to see you again. I'll leave it at that. 668 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,399 Speaker 1: A free ninety minute live training with dating. It's called 669 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 1: Dating with Results. It's February fifteenth, the day after Valentine's Day. 670 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:02,359 Speaker 1: Finding love is a very very interesting, interesting challenge. If 671 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 1: you're sick and heart of dating, maybe you need a 672 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 1: perspective from someone like our friend Matthew Hussey. You can 673 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 1: register now for free at Dating with Results dot com. 674 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: It's so good to see you're my friend. Thank you 675 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: for having me. It's genuinely beautiful to see all of you. 676 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 1: There you go. I think I may go on the 677 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 1: back and play with myself in her hands. Matthew Hussey. 678 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 1: Just do a search. You'll learn much more about him. 679 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 1: We got to take the break back after this. Hey, 680 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,480 Speaker 1: it's Nicki Minaj. This is Rihanna. Hey, this is Lady Gaga. 681 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 1: You're listening to Elvis Duran and The Morning Show.