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Speaker 1: All right, let's get it. Buckle up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: subject Should I give up on my best friend? To

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I have been best friends with someone for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years. This relationship was strictly platonic for the this

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Speaker 1: period until I finally gave in year nineteen to become

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Speaker 1: more than just friends. After two years of this, I

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Speaker 1: realized that there will be no commitment on his part,

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Speaker 1: so I went ahead and explained to him that I

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Speaker 1: cannot continue with this relationship and I need some kind

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Speaker 1: of commitment. Even though he claims that he has been

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Speaker 1: with no one else. I thought after all these years

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Speaker 1: of being friends, we would have at least been engaged

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Speaker 1: by this time. Since I broke off the intimate relationship,

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Speaker 1: he keeps calling me and wants to be intimate. Wants

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Speaker 1: me to be intimate with him, to which I promptly

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Speaker 1: hang up and ignore him. I guess he did not

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Speaker 1: get it or understand what I said to him. The

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Speaker 1: issue is this, should I just give up being friends

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Speaker 1: with this man who has been my best friend for

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Speaker 1: so long? Or try to reason with him to get

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Speaker 1: him to understand me. P s. I am a woman,

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Speaker 1: all right. Uh, Dear my sister, you know, all this

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Speaker 1: stuff really should be discussed and worked out if you

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Speaker 1: guys are friends before you crossed that line. You know. Um,

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Speaker 1: you guys have been friends for eighteen years and on

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Speaker 1: the nineteenth you decide to to to give in to him.

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Speaker 1: But what do you guys talk about in those eighteen years.

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Speaker 1: I mean, after you do something like this, then you

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Speaker 1: really get to see how close you guys are as friends. Uh,

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Speaker 1: now you're friends would benefit Uh, he obviously, you know,

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Speaker 1: was saying whatever to you just to get you in

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Speaker 1: bed at the time, and he still wants to do that.

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Speaker 1: You know. I do applaud you, though, forgetting it finally

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Speaker 1: and realizing that there is no commitment here. Uh, it's just,

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Speaker 1: you know, a sexual relationship between you two. Um. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what happened to the friendship. Looks like it

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Speaker 1: just went out the door. I mean, you can try

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Speaker 1: to be friends with this guy if you want too,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think it's gonna work. I think you

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Speaker 1: crossed the line and you kind of messed it up,

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Speaker 1: and now he's only interested in, um, you know, being

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Speaker 1: your bed partner. So I mean, if I were you,

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Speaker 1: I just leave it alone. You know, maybe down the

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Speaker 1: road sometimes you guys can be friends again, just platonic

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Speaker 1: friends again. But right now, no, Steve Um, I kind

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Speaker 1: of have to disagree with you on this one, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: just because of a couple of things in this letter.

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Speaker 1: And then I have a little inside track on how

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Speaker 1: men think. You Remember the other day I said that

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Speaker 1: all wants me and think of you in terms of

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Speaker 1: just for sex. They normally don't graduate you to the

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Speaker 1: next level. You remember said that. Okay, all right, let's

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Speaker 1: keep that in man. Okay, now here's a deal. Uh.

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Speaker 1: This woman says she's been best friends with someone for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years strictly plutonic, until I finally gave in in

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Speaker 1: year number nineteen. That's the key to this whole letter,

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Speaker 1: year nineteen, which means eighteen years little hey hey was having,

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Speaker 1: you know, just keeping on that string, talking as friends,

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Speaker 1: and they probably formed a really good friendship over that

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Speaker 1: time because there was nothing more to it. But he

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Speaker 1: just kept on. Here's the only mistake that was made.

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Speaker 1: And I've said it a thousand times, and like Shirley said,

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Speaker 1: this is the part I agree, y'all been talking for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years. You didn't discuss this at all for eighteen years. Hell,

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Speaker 1: you're way beyond the ninety rute you were you in

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Speaker 1: the eight you had time to figure out everything. But

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Speaker 1: guess what, there's too many holes in this letter and

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Speaker 1: stuff you to act like don't know nothing about you.

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Speaker 1: Finally gave in in year nineteen to become more than friends.

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Speaker 1: After two years of this, I realized that there would

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Speaker 1: be no commitment. It took you two years to figure

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Speaker 1: out that would be no commitment. Well, in the two

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Speaker 1: years of sleeping with him, was a commitment of requirement?

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Speaker 1: Or did you just foolishly set yourself out there after

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Speaker 1: eighteen years of talking and just put yourself out there

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Speaker 1: and no commitment After eighteen years of talking to this guy,

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Speaker 1: this should have been nothing but a commitment from you

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Speaker 1: for this to even move to the next level. Hell,

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Speaker 1: you've become best friends. I really. I hear people say

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Speaker 1: it all the time. It's better to become friends with

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Speaker 1: the person then lovers. I hear that all the time.

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Speaker 1: If you don't set your standards and requirements up in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, you can flip it around. I'll show you

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Speaker 1: how to do it. When we come back. But you

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Speaker 1: can flip it around. I thought, after all those years

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Speaker 1: of being friends, we could at least have been engaged

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Speaker 1: by this time. You thought you could be engaged. You

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Speaker 1: did not require that you be engaged, and and it

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Speaker 1: could be very true that he's been with no one else.

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Speaker 1: But you thought after all those years that we would

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Speaker 1: at least been engaged by now, that's what you thought.

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Speaker 1: That was never a requirement in the beginning. It's really

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Speaker 1: not too late for you or anybody else that finds

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Speaker 1: themselves in a situation like that. I will tell you

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Speaker 1: something that you can attempt to do when we come back,

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Speaker 1: and it'll work if he's feeling you and loving you. Now,

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Speaker 1: if he's not loving you, this response that I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: give you when I come back will not work. But

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Speaker 1: right now, let's go Steve with part two of your

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Speaker 1: response to today's Strawberry letter, Should I give up on

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Speaker 1: my best friend? Um? First of all, this woman was

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Speaker 1: in a plutonic relationship with this man for eighteen years

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Speaker 1: and then year nineteen, she says in the letter, until

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Speaker 1: I finally gave in year nineteen, became more than friends.

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Speaker 1: But after two years she realized that there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: no commitment on his part. So I explained to him

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Speaker 1: that I cannot continue with this relationship. I need some

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Speaker 1: kind of commitment, even though he claims he's been with

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Speaker 1: no one else all those years of being friends. Uh.

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Speaker 1: We She figured after all of this, she figured, all

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Speaker 1: those years of being friends, that we would at least

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Speaker 1: have been engaged by now. I've reminded her that if

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Speaker 1: you do not make the engagement a requirement. See, men,

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Speaker 1: let me let me share something with you. Women have

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Speaker 1: a dream of getting married one day. Most women, not all,

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Speaker 1: but most. Most women dream of their wedding day. They

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Speaker 1: prepare for it from the times their kids. Okay, a

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Speaker 1: man does not dream of his wedding day. A man

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Speaker 1: only dreams of the woman of his dreams. Do you

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Speaker 1: understand me? So see if we can get the woman

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Speaker 1: of our dreams without the wedding day? Hey, are we cool?

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Speaker 1: Get that through your head? Were cool? If you can

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Speaker 1: help us with our dreams, support us, give us that sweet,

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Speaker 1: sweet loving you giving us, you know, help us with

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Speaker 1: the bills, give us some kids. Were cool? We have

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Speaker 1: the woman of our dreams. We don't have to It's no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, no man dreams of his wedding day.

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Speaker 1: The wedding day is usually the dream of a woman.

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Speaker 1: Understand what I'm saying now. There are plenty of men

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Speaker 1: who will ask you to marry them, but these are

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Speaker 1: usually men who know that that's a requirement of yours.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really that men didn't, but I didn't. Look.

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Speaker 1: They've got bridle shops, they got bridle magazines, wedding planners, guys.

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Speaker 1: Guys have a tux sedo shop. And when we get

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Speaker 1: through with the tucks, we take it back. Come on, now,

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Speaker 1: women keep their dressing storage for years. Pick out the veils,

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Speaker 1: what color flutes, what the invitation is gonna look like? God,

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Speaker 1: don't give damn bout none of that. We just want

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Speaker 1: to girl, the day is your day. If you don't

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Speaker 1: make your day a priority, then it's not a priority

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Speaker 1: in our heart. We just won't you. And if we

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Speaker 1: can get you without all that, then we'll do it.

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Speaker 1: But if we know that that's a requirement to have you,

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Speaker 1: then bam, that's how we do it. So if you're

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Speaker 1: a relationship and it's been going on for a while

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Speaker 1: and you want to change the game, then you have

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Speaker 1: to change the requirements to play the game. And if

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Speaker 1: a god loves you and wants to continue to play

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Speaker 1: the game, then he'll give you what you want. You

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Speaker 1: have got to get what you want. So you're saying

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Speaker 1: there's a chance for her to be with this guy. Absolutely, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: there is a chance, but it has to be a requirement.

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Speaker 1: But see guess what. He keeps calling back asking for

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Speaker 1: the sex. But if she go back and just have

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Speaker 1: it without the requirement, being man, she's doing. She's taking

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Speaker 1: the right step. She just gotta stay to it. She's

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Speaker 1: taking the right step. She just had to stay to

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Speaker 1: it and set this guy down because they gotta be

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Speaker 1: of some age about right about now. You know, they've

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Speaker 1: got to be a little bit older than So make

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Speaker 1: your move and hold to it. And if he's loving you,

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Speaker 1: he'll do it. If he don't love you, he's not

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Speaker 1: gonna do it. All right, Steve, we gotta get out

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Speaker 1: of here. Email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter. At my Girl, Shirley, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show