1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:24,075 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio Now. 2 00:00:24,115 --> 00:00:26,475 Speaker 1: I don't want to leave the incorrect impression that I 3 00:00:26,515 --> 00:00:30,395 Speaker 1: am opposed to this. But Trump is talking about his 4 00:00:30,475 --> 00:00:34,235 Speaker 1: own mortality, or his own career mortality, or going to 5 00:00:34,315 --> 00:00:39,795 Speaker 1: heaven or all of the above again. At the same time, 6 00:00:40,635 --> 00:00:44,635 Speaker 1: he's talking about declaring insurrections and jailing more political opponents 7 00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:46,955 Speaker 1: like Mayor Johnson and Governor Pritzker and any one of 8 00:00:46,995 --> 00:00:49,675 Speaker 1: a dozen judges, including at least one he appointed. Not 9 00:00:49,835 --> 00:00:53,355 Speaker 1: prosecuting them this time, just jailing them. And as if 10 00:00:53,355 --> 00:00:56,875 Speaker 1: it could get any worse, he specifically segued from the 11 00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:59,475 Speaker 1: issue of wanting to prove to God that he's been 12 00:00:59,555 --> 00:01:04,915 Speaker 1: good to how great all those missiles are at his 13 00:01:05,115 --> 00:01:11,275 Speaker 1: naval base. Honestly, I don't know why the few remaining 14 00:01:11,355 --> 00:01:16,315 Speaker 1: news organizations do not have entire departments devoted to analysis 15 00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:22,195 Speaker 1: about which heart of Trump's insanity is in charge today. 16 00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:24,395 Speaker 2: It'll be very hard to be a good country. You know, 17 00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:27,475 Speaker 2: there's no reason to be good. I want to be 18 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,715 Speaker 2: good because you want to prove to God that you're good, 19 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:33,435 Speaker 2: so you go to that next step, right, So that's 20 00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:35,915 Speaker 2: very important to me. I think it's really very important. 21 00:01:35,955 --> 00:01:40,355 Speaker 2: And yesterday was amazing. We went out, we went to 22 00:01:40,515 --> 00:01:43,675 Speaker 2: the naval base, largest in the world actually, and I 23 00:01:43,715 --> 00:01:45,835 Speaker 2: saw things that were incredible, the level. 24 00:01:45,555 --> 00:01:46,875 Speaker 1: Of uh. 25 00:01:48,315 --> 00:01:49,755 Speaker 2: I don't want to use the word weapons, but. 26 00:01:49,795 --> 00:01:56,915 Speaker 1: They are weapons. The missiles are flying. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Quote 27 00:01:57,035 --> 00:02:00,435 Speaker 1: Chicago mayor should be in jail for failing to protect 28 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:07,955 Speaker 1: ice officers. Governor Pritzker also unquote. You could read that 29 00:02:08,035 --> 00:02:10,875 Speaker 1: as saying that the Chicago mayor should be in jail 30 00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:13,395 Speaker 1: for failing to protect Governor Pritzker, but I don't think 31 00:02:13,435 --> 00:02:17,995 Speaker 1: that's what Trump meant. Then again, who knows you? And 32 00:02:18,035 --> 00:02:20,595 Speaker 1: I know it should be Trump in jail because he's 33 00:02:20,635 --> 00:02:24,235 Speaker 1: not only broken laws, he's nearly collected the complete set 34 00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:27,795 Speaker 1: of broken laws already, to say nothing of him being 35 00:02:27,835 --> 00:02:31,035 Speaker 1: in some kind of psychiatric facility, because whatever is wrong 36 00:02:31,075 --> 00:02:34,915 Speaker 1: with him, it's going faster to say nothing of his 37 00:02:35,035 --> 00:02:39,075 Speaker 1: ren Field Stephen Miller, who talk about having news departments 38 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:42,555 Speaker 1: devoted to studying what's wrong with him Today Stephen Miller 39 00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:47,035 Speaker 1: is manipulating Trump's untetheredness to reality and convincing Trump there 40 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:50,675 Speaker 1: really are insurrections. Then that Cash Pittzel isn't crazy when 41 00:02:50,675 --> 00:02:54,195 Speaker 1: he says five percent of Chicago residents are active gang members, 42 00:02:54,515 --> 00:03:00,355 Speaker 1: and Trump has long been one of those. Does what 43 00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:03,515 Speaker 1: the last person to talk to him tells him? People. 44 00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:07,835 Speaker 1: Miller has refined this into a self fulfilling prophecy machine. 45 00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:12,755 Speaker 1: Tell Trump there is an insurrection in Portland. No, no, Chicago, 46 00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:16,435 Speaker 1: Chicago turns out is easier right now. Tell him there's 47 00:03:17,075 --> 00:03:21,155 Speaker 1: ice agents imperiled. Get him to send troops to Chicago. 48 00:03:22,715 --> 00:03:25,475 Speaker 1: What troops? Who knows which ones are the worst, the 49 00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:29,635 Speaker 1: most paranoid, the least traceable. Get the troops to try 50 00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:34,115 Speaker 1: to provoke Chicago residents, and if they succeed, show that 51 00:03:34,235 --> 00:03:36,995 Speaker 1: to Trump on Fox News and get him to declare 52 00:03:37,035 --> 00:03:40,715 Speaker 1: whatever the residents do to be an insurrection, and poof, 53 00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:45,115 Speaker 1: Steven Miller has just fabricated an insurrection out of nothing 54 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:50,155 Speaker 1: in Chicago. This formula is how they get Trump to 55 00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:55,235 Speaker 1: do anything. Really, the whole mechanism of jailing his opponents 56 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,875 Speaker 1: has never been clearer than right now. You keep firing 57 00:03:57,955 --> 00:04:02,795 Speaker 1: prosecutors until somebody, the one who won Miss Uncongeniality in 58 00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:06,395 Speaker 1: the Beauty pageant is willing to the documents and bang 59 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,835 Speaker 1: James Comy is indicted, and you can say, see, mister President, 60 00:04:10,035 --> 00:04:14,635 Speaker 1: he's been indicted. It's on Fox News. Even though ABC 61 00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:18,395 Speaker 1: reported yesterday that Trump's main government witness will testify that 62 00:04:18,515 --> 00:04:22,715 Speaker 1: Komy told him not to leak to the media, and 63 00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:26,035 Speaker 1: this witness will almost certainly be branded a hostile witness. 64 00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:29,475 Speaker 1: And the motion to dismiss will be filed by Komy's 65 00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:32,915 Speaker 1: defense by a week from next Monday, the twentieth, as 66 00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:37,755 Speaker 1: will the motion to unseat the fraudulently appointed HAIRD prosecutor. 67 00:04:38,395 --> 00:04:40,915 Speaker 1: And the judge yesterday said, no, we're not slow tracking 68 00:04:40,955 --> 00:04:43,515 Speaker 1: this process just so you can keep telling Trump. Look, 69 00:04:43,555 --> 00:04:48,035 Speaker 1: the Komy trials now three months long. Your damn indictment 70 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:53,635 Speaker 1: was a page and a half. What Miller and Patel 71 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:59,195 Speaker 1: and Pam Bondi do. And once again my judgment was 72 00:04:59,315 --> 00:05:01,875 Speaker 1: proved correct. From two thousand and six, I think it 73 00:05:01,995 --> 00:05:05,515 Speaker 1: was when Pam Bondy hit on me outside men's room 74 00:05:05,835 --> 00:05:10,675 Speaker 1: in the PBS station in Tampa. I think I said, dere, 75 00:05:11,355 --> 00:05:14,235 Speaker 1: I'm just getting in the car. I gotta go to 76 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:22,715 Speaker 1: the airport to go to the moon. Anyway, what they 77 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:25,715 Speaker 1: all do when the judge rules in favor of the 78 00:05:25,755 --> 00:05:28,795 Speaker 1: motion to dismiss the indictment of James Comy. I'm not sure. 79 00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:33,435 Speaker 1: Maybe just pull Trump's TVs out of the wall. I've 80 00:05:33,435 --> 00:05:35,315 Speaker 1: never understood why they didn't just set up their own 81 00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:37,795 Speaker 1: version of Fox News in the White House basement or 82 00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:41,715 Speaker 1: something and Taylor twenty four hours of programming just to him. 83 00:05:42,755 --> 00:05:45,915 Speaker 1: I mean, Laura Ingram would work there instead in a heartbeat. 84 00:05:45,955 --> 00:05:49,395 Speaker 1: I mean for the same money, maybe less. Only one 85 00:05:49,435 --> 00:05:51,435 Speaker 1: demand would, which would be that you'd have to give 86 00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:55,915 Speaker 1: Laura three hours instead of one. I guess they don't 87 00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,155 Speaker 1: need a fake Fox News of their own when they 88 00:05:58,155 --> 00:06:01,035 Speaker 1: have the fake Fox News that Rupert Murdoch gives them 89 00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:04,115 Speaker 1: for free. Although they are always running the risks, something 90 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:06,155 Speaker 1: will happen to the real world that Fox will have 91 00:06:06,275 --> 00:06:09,835 Speaker 1: to report anyway, and Trump will see it, which is 92 00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:12,755 Speaker 1: why you will still see these spasms of rage by 93 00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:17,795 Speaker 1: him against Fox. Still, it's largely a good and efficient system, 94 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:21,235 Speaker 1: and it's not very much larger nor more original in 95 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:24,315 Speaker 1: scope than the means by which the Maga cult itself 96 00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:27,635 Speaker 1: is manipulated. Decide what you want the outcome to be, 97 00:06:28,515 --> 00:06:32,435 Speaker 1: create a phony news narrative that supports it, especially if 98 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:36,115 Speaker 1: you can work in paranoia and racism and disguise them 99 00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:40,555 Speaker 1: as something else. Have some faithful maga Republicans say it 100 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:43,715 Speaker 1: while a fax camera is on him or on her. 101 00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:47,635 Speaker 1: Put that on Fox. Trump sees it, the cult sees it. 102 00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:54,195 Speaker 1: It becomes their reality. There are pitfalls. What do you 103 00:06:54,195 --> 00:06:57,955 Speaker 1: do when Fox lies and CNN or the Washington Post 104 00:06:57,995 --> 00:07:01,435 Speaker 1: tell the truth? Well, sir, you buy CNN and the 105 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:05,435 Speaker 1: Washington Post and you convert them to maga parrots. Yeah, 106 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:09,995 Speaker 1: all that. What do you do about CBS News? Oh, 107 00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:12,235 Speaker 1: you buy CBS News and you convert it, and you 108 00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:16,115 Speaker 1: put an actual parrot named Barry Weiss in charge, which 109 00:07:16,115 --> 00:07:19,235 Speaker 1: I will get to at length in a moment with 110 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:25,995 Speaker 1: the mystery of the broken number three CBS pencils story. Anyway, 111 00:07:25,995 --> 00:07:28,995 Speaker 1: when the process creates an uncomfortable clash for one of 112 00:07:29,035 --> 00:07:35,235 Speaker 1: Trump's slaves, like Speaker Mike Tiny Johnson, between Trump reality 113 00:07:35,235 --> 00:07:40,275 Speaker 1: and reality reality, Johnson can then just employ the universal solvent, 114 00:07:40,355 --> 00:07:43,515 Speaker 1: the three monkeys process. I didn't see it, I didn't 115 00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:47,875 Speaker 1: hear it. I didn't say it. Should Mayor Johnson of 116 00:07:47,995 --> 00:07:51,635 Speaker 1: Chicago and Governor Pritzker of Illinois be in prison? Speaker Johnson, 117 00:07:53,275 --> 00:08:01,275 Speaker 1: Mayor of Should they be in prison? Should the mayor 118 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,755 Speaker 1: of Chicago and the governor of Illinois be in prison. 119 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,155 Speaker 1: I'm not the attorney general. I'm the Speaker of the House, 120 00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,075 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to manage the chaos here. I'm not 121 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,715 Speaker 1: following the day to day on that sure, Trump's invading cities, 122 00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:17,755 Speaker 1: threatening elected officials, and like every eleventh of those officials 123 00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:22,515 Speaker 1: is somebody Trump once appointed or favored or defended. You 124 00:08:22,595 --> 00:08:26,115 Speaker 1: remember Mike Pence, don't you, Mike Johnson? What are you 125 00:08:26,115 --> 00:08:28,235 Speaker 1: going to do on that day when you were Mike Pence? 126 00:08:29,315 --> 00:08:33,075 Speaker 1: But you're not following the day to day. We're all 127 00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:38,515 Speaker 1: day to day, Mike Johnson. Mike, of course, then proceeded 128 00:08:38,515 --> 00:08:40,635 Speaker 1: to go into the details of the day to day, 129 00:08:40,635 --> 00:08:44,915 Speaker 1: because like everything else, it's bullshit multiplied by stupidity. And unfortunately, 130 00:08:44,955 --> 00:08:47,995 Speaker 1: most of our Trump infested nation either doesn't understand or 131 00:08:48,035 --> 00:08:50,595 Speaker 1: doesn't know about it. And then there's that tiny sliver 132 00:08:50,675 --> 00:08:54,475 Speaker 1: that actually supports it, which looks sometimes like a majority, 133 00:08:54,515 --> 00:08:59,395 Speaker 1: because we forget the majority actually has no idea about this, 134 00:08:59,475 --> 00:09:01,955 Speaker 1: because it's got nothing to do with entertainment news or 135 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:05,195 Speaker 1: sports news. Oh, Ronaldo is worth a billion dollars, Yes, 136 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,555 Speaker 1: I know who he is. Why do I care how 137 00:09:07,595 --> 00:09:10,555 Speaker 1: much money he has, Why don't you do a segment 138 00:09:10,755 --> 00:09:13,435 Speaker 1: on instead, whether or not at forty he's still any 139 00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:18,115 Speaker 1: good at the soccer. Mike Johnson actually blew that one. 140 00:09:18,155 --> 00:09:20,275 Speaker 1: Mike Johnson should have said, I'm not following the day 141 00:09:20,355 --> 00:09:23,555 Speaker 1: to day. In fact, this morning I spent in retreat praying, 142 00:09:23,835 --> 00:09:25,915 Speaker 1: and I took a vow of silence and a vow 143 00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:29,435 Speaker 1: to not follow the day to day. Amen, thank you Jesus. 144 00:09:29,475 --> 00:09:36,955 Speaker 1: The missiles are flying. Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The idea that they 145 00:09:37,115 --> 00:09:41,915 Speaker 1: all know Trump's nuts and they believe they have simply 146 00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:44,755 Speaker 1: learned to ride that wave and not drown is in 147 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:52,315 Speaker 1: fact part of the Trump origin story. In February twenty seventeen, 148 00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:58,195 Speaker 1: I looked it up February thirteenth, twenty seventeen. I was, 149 00:09:58,635 --> 00:10:02,755 Speaker 1: if you can imagine this, one of three guests in 150 00:10:02,795 --> 00:10:06,555 Speaker 1: the Bloomberg building here in Funds City on the Charlie 151 00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:11,835 Speaker 1: Rose Show, which used to run on PBS and Bloomberg 152 00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:16,115 Speaker 1: before Charlie's little problem with knowing where his pants and 153 00:10:16,355 --> 00:10:19,435 Speaker 1: hands were at a given moment. When that cropped up, 154 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:25,395 Speaker 1: there was a guest host, Judd Apatow, and this lineup, 155 00:10:26,035 --> 00:10:29,275 Speaker 1: if you can imagine Republican strategist Ed Rollins, with whom 156 00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:33,155 Speaker 1: I had shared grudging respect and a glimmer of like 157 00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:37,515 Speaker 1: for about twenty years by that point, and Maggie Haberman, 158 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:43,315 Speaker 1: for God's sake and me Rollins and Apatow took me seriously. 159 00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:47,955 Speaker 1: Haberman was condescending and dents I mentioned several times during 160 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,435 Speaker 1: the taping that we were all kind of missing the 161 00:10:50,435 --> 00:10:54,155 Speaker 1: big picture, that all the analysis of what Trump had 162 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,235 Speaker 1: done was discounting this fact that there had been nothing 163 00:10:57,315 --> 00:10:59,675 Speaker 1: in Trump's first three or four weeks in office that 164 00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:03,795 Speaker 1: contradicted the idea that he was crazy. And I made 165 00:11:03,795 --> 00:11:05,875 Speaker 1: a few references to the piece that I read here 166 00:11:05,955 --> 00:11:09,235 Speaker 1: last week, which had been written the year before. Could 167 00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:12,435 Speaker 1: Trump pass a sanity test? Well? As we finished this 168 00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:16,275 Speaker 1: surprisingly informative and non violent show, even though Maggie Haberman 169 00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:19,555 Speaker 1: was there and cameras were powered down and Mike's put away, 170 00:11:19,995 --> 00:11:23,115 Speaker 1: Ed Rollins extended his hand and smiled and it looked sincere, 171 00:11:23,675 --> 00:11:26,075 Speaker 1: and he said he always enjoyed our conversations, even though 172 00:11:26,075 --> 00:11:29,595 Speaker 1: he often thought I was crazy. He then laughed and said, 173 00:11:30,155 --> 00:11:33,955 Speaker 1: but you know about crazy about your Trump sanity test. 174 00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:40,035 Speaker 1: There was a long pause, and then Ed Rollins said, 175 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:48,435 Speaker 1: you know, he is crazy. Ed Rollins gathered his belongings 176 00:11:48,435 --> 00:11:52,875 Speaker 1: and made for the studio exit door. Of course he's crazy, Keith, 177 00:11:54,075 --> 00:12:17,955 Speaker 1: I don't know why you need a test. Every once 178 00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:21,475 Speaker 1: in a while, the degradation and deterioration of American society 179 00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:25,035 Speaker 1: and particularly American journalism just sort of seeps into the 180 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:28,315 Speaker 1: background and we stop looking at how remarkable it actually is. 181 00:12:29,075 --> 00:12:31,355 Speaker 1: At any other point in our history, if the daughter 182 00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,675 Speaker 1: in law of the President of the United States had 183 00:12:34,715 --> 00:12:39,635 Speaker 1: her own nominal news show on a cable news channel, 184 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,755 Speaker 1: it would be a scandal of unbelievable proportions, even if 185 00:12:43,755 --> 00:12:48,675 Speaker 1: she were qualified. Lara Trump is qualified in the sense 186 00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:51,835 Speaker 1: that she's almost as stupid as a native born Trump, 187 00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:56,435 Speaker 1: but we no longer notice these things. I was thinking 188 00:12:56,435 --> 00:13:00,955 Speaker 1: of Lara Trump because she is wonderfully incompetent, even in 189 00:13:01,035 --> 00:13:06,395 Speaker 1: her role as propagandist on Fox News, lobbing softballs at 190 00:13:06,435 --> 00:13:09,595 Speaker 1: people who are barely able to answer softballs. On behalf 191 00:13:09,635 --> 00:13:12,395 Speaker 1: of her father in law. She is both the question 192 00:13:12,915 --> 00:13:16,115 Speaker 1: and the answer. But I was thinking about her because 193 00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,715 Speaker 1: I was trying to find somebody in my mind who 194 00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:23,755 Speaker 1: would be worse than Barry Weiss. To run CBS News. 195 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,555 Speaker 1: Barry Weiss, if you don't know who she is, has 196 00:13:27,675 --> 00:13:33,155 Speaker 1: failed upwards from being the naivete and dumbing down editor 197 00:13:33,235 --> 00:13:39,115 Speaker 1: of New York Times Opinions. She was encouraged to leave 198 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:41,955 Speaker 1: and left and formed a new place called the Free Press, 199 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:44,155 Speaker 1: which is, of course, like everything else with a name 200 00:13:44,235 --> 00:13:47,395 Speaker 1: on it in media today, it is the exact opposite 201 00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:49,395 Speaker 1: of its title. It is not the free Press. It 202 00:13:49,475 --> 00:13:52,315 Speaker 1: is not free. There's nothing to do with freedom of 203 00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:55,715 Speaker 1: the press in it. It is just another rationalization for 204 00:13:55,835 --> 00:14:00,275 Speaker 1: fascism blog and for some reason, because it has been 205 00:14:00,355 --> 00:14:04,555 Speaker 1: dumbed down, it is essentially a substack for idiots. It 206 00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:06,835 Speaker 1: was worth one hundred and fifty million dollars to the 207 00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:11,075 Speaker 1: Ellison people, partially because they are still trying to curry 208 00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:14,955 Speaker 1: favor with Trump, and this was another way of lifting 209 00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:18,595 Speaker 1: up fascists who don't get enough help in this society. 210 00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:21,675 Speaker 1: As you know, there is no oppressed group in this 211 00:14:21,755 --> 00:14:28,595 Speaker 1: country today like fascists, except short, unappealing fascists. They are 212 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:32,755 Speaker 1: even in worse positions than regular fascists. So in any event, 213 00:14:32,795 --> 00:14:35,075 Speaker 1: Barry Weiss was bought out for about one hundred and 214 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:38,275 Speaker 1: fifty million dollars that's one of the reports of her 215 00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:42,195 Speaker 1: free press site. And as part of the deal, she 216 00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:44,235 Speaker 1: was put in charge of CBS News. And I was 217 00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:47,275 Speaker 1: just thinking, would Lara Trump be worse or better for 218 00:14:47,355 --> 00:14:51,555 Speaker 1: CBS News. Well, Lara Trump has now about a year's 219 00:14:51,555 --> 00:14:54,795 Speaker 1: worth of experience in television, so she'd be better qualified 220 00:14:54,795 --> 00:15:00,875 Speaker 1: than Barry Wise. We are watching once again those organizations 221 00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:03,075 Speaker 1: in the news when they are needed the most in 222 00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:07,715 Speaker 1: the history of this country, not only failing but voluntarily 223 00:15:07,915 --> 00:15:14,475 Speaker 1: jumping off cliffs. Here's the first step. You build up 224 00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:19,275 Speaker 1: a center and left intelligence audience that has come to 225 00:15:19,355 --> 00:15:22,715 Speaker 1: depend upon you over the decades, as The Washington Post did, 226 00:15:23,115 --> 00:15:26,915 Speaker 1: as CNN did. You make no bones about the fact 227 00:15:26,955 --> 00:15:30,235 Speaker 1: that the thing probably does tend to lean a little 228 00:15:30,235 --> 00:15:34,875 Speaker 1: bit liberal, because well, facts, as they say, do lean 229 00:15:34,995 --> 00:15:41,115 Speaker 1: a little bit liberal, but money leans in both directions, 230 00:15:41,155 --> 00:15:46,755 Speaker 1: and especially leans on liberals. And so no matter the 231 00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:49,435 Speaker 1: news organization or its origins, or its history or its 232 00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:51,715 Speaker 1: importance at the moment, if it can be sold, it 233 00:15:51,755 --> 00:15:54,355 Speaker 1: will be sold, and usually to the wrong person, even 234 00:15:54,395 --> 00:15:56,195 Speaker 1: to a person who does the right thing at first 235 00:15:56,195 --> 00:16:00,115 Speaker 1: and then figures, oh no, this is hurting my other products. 236 00:16:00,635 --> 00:16:04,635 Speaker 1: And also it's encouraging Trump to blackmail me. Hi, Jeff 237 00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:08,715 Speaker 1: Bezos talking to you. Bezos apparently got away with it 238 00:16:08,715 --> 00:16:11,475 Speaker 1: the first time he announced that he was being blackmailed 239 00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:13,835 Speaker 1: and he wasn't going to subject himself to it or 240 00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:17,155 Speaker 1: his now ex wife. And he stood up nobly in 241 00:16:17,155 --> 00:16:20,155 Speaker 1: the Washington Post. Was there to say that democracy dies 242 00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:22,155 Speaker 1: in darkness, and it was going to shine the light. 243 00:16:22,195 --> 00:16:24,315 Speaker 1: And then something else happened, and we don't know what 244 00:16:24,395 --> 00:16:26,875 Speaker 1: it is. But then he got married to Lauren Sanchez, 245 00:16:26,915 --> 00:16:30,755 Speaker 1: and all the fascists came to the wedding, and the 246 00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:33,435 Speaker 1: next thing you know, the Washington Post is throwing all 247 00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:36,195 Speaker 1: of its traditions and all of its readers out the 248 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:40,355 Speaker 1: effing window. There is a report from the invaluable and 249 00:16:40,435 --> 00:16:45,755 Speaker 1: irreplaceable Oliver Darcy of status, formerly of CNN, who is 250 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:47,955 Speaker 1: so important that I would expect him to be bought 251 00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:53,155 Speaker 1: by an Ellison anytime now, about more changes at the 252 00:16:53,275 --> 00:16:56,915 Speaker 1: Washington Post this week. Benji sorrowin the editor he reports 253 00:16:57,035 --> 00:16:59,155 Speaker 1: is gone. Benji used to work with me. He was 254 00:16:59,195 --> 00:17:03,675 Speaker 1: on countdown and several other people, according to people familiar 255 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:06,115 Speaker 1: with the matter, are out. Contractors were not spared. He 256 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,435 Speaker 1: says the legendary journalist Mark Fisher is out, who'd been 257 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:12,995 Speaker 1: with the Post for nearly four decades. The Pulitzer Prize 258 00:17:13,035 --> 00:17:15,555 Speaker 1: winner David Hoffman has gone. Jack Schaefer, who I know 259 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,875 Speaker 1: the media critic, is gone, and the economic columnist Heather 260 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:23,675 Speaker 1: Long all out at the Washington Post. This while the 261 00:17:23,795 --> 00:17:27,235 Speaker 1: aforementioned Barry Weiss is taking over CBS News. Actually it's 262 00:17:27,315 --> 00:17:30,315 Speaker 1: Larry Ellison and my old friend Jeff Shell, who having 263 00:17:30,395 --> 00:17:34,915 Speaker 1: been basically career ended at NBC by Oh, Jeff Shell 264 00:17:35,475 --> 00:17:38,355 Speaker 1: got another chance and now we'll do whatever the fascist wants. 265 00:17:39,715 --> 00:17:42,155 Speaker 1: He is now running CBS News along with the Ellisons 266 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:46,275 Speaker 1: and Barry Weiss, who I believe has the following experience 267 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:50,075 Speaker 1: in television. She's managed to turn a set on once. 268 00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:56,755 Speaker 1: And the statement from Larry Ellison going into this debacle 269 00:17:56,795 --> 00:17:59,315 Speaker 1: in which CBS News will be what remains of it 270 00:17:59,435 --> 00:18:03,755 Speaker 1: totally dismantled and destroyed, and everybody who works there forever 271 00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:07,195 Speaker 1: have this stink of being in at the end in 272 00:18:07,235 --> 00:18:10,435 Speaker 1: which the place was killed from the inside deliberately so 273 00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:13,115 Speaker 1: that it would be silenced. Not that CBS News is 274 00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:15,955 Speaker 1: the leader in anything, but it is part of the firmament, 275 00:18:16,275 --> 00:18:20,835 Speaker 1: part of that remaining now porous c through skeleton of 276 00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:25,155 Speaker 1: American journalism. It's also its value, like in some respects 277 00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:28,075 Speaker 1: recently the Washington Post is more symbolic than anything else. 278 00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:33,835 Speaker 1: It's as if the Democratic Congressional Committee were now run 279 00:18:33,915 --> 00:18:41,355 Speaker 1: by Hawlly of Missouri. Well, he looks better in the 280 00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:43,635 Speaker 1: pictures we name. I know he's not a Democrat, but 281 00:18:43,635 --> 00:18:48,635 Speaker 1: he's really good. Larry Ellison, who made money in tech, 282 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,635 Speaker 1: did a Wall Street Journal interview Monday in which he said, quote, 283 00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:55,955 Speaker 1: we want CBS to speak to that seventy percent of 284 00:18:55,995 --> 00:18:58,915 Speaker 1: the audience that would really define themselves at center left 285 00:18:59,195 --> 00:19:05,035 Speaker 1: to center right. Wow, you do see nobody ever thought 286 00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:07,715 Speaker 1: about that, trying to maximize the audience. Nobody in American 287 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:12,195 Speaker 1: media ever thought once about trying to maximize the audience. Well, 288 00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:15,995 Speaker 1: what a genius Larry Ellison is. He's going to go 289 00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:19,795 Speaker 1: for a larger audience. Reminds me of the Bob and 290 00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,435 Speaker 1: Ray character from their political sketch. The guy's running for 291 00:19:22,475 --> 00:19:24,835 Speaker 1: president and they said, which party of these nomination you're 292 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:27,115 Speaker 1: going for? And he went, I figured out a mistake 293 00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:29,635 Speaker 1: that they've all made. I'm going for both of them. 294 00:19:29,915 --> 00:19:33,315 Speaker 1: That way I can get all the votes we want 295 00:19:33,395 --> 00:19:35,595 Speaker 1: CBS to speak to that seventy percent of the audience 296 00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:38,595 Speaker 1: that would really define themselves at setter left to Setter right. 297 00:19:38,995 --> 00:19:42,155 Speaker 1: Mister Ellison, I understand you don't know any of this 298 00:19:42,275 --> 00:19:45,835 Speaker 1: because you've spent the last couple of decades simply counting money. 299 00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:49,435 Speaker 1: And if you're willing to spend your entire life dealing 300 00:19:49,475 --> 00:19:52,115 Speaker 1: with money, you can make all the money in the 301 00:19:52,115 --> 00:19:54,675 Speaker 1: world and miss everything else that happens in it, like 302 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:57,875 Speaker 1: the fact that all those people at Ceter left no 303 00:19:57,955 --> 00:20:00,115 Speaker 1: longer want to talk to all those people at Ceter 304 00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:03,475 Speaker 1: right and vice versa. And more importantly, they do not respect, 305 00:20:03,515 --> 00:20:06,995 Speaker 1: nor understand nor eve acknowledge the existence of the other 306 00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:13,515 Speaker 1: sides institutions like CBS News, like The Washington Post, like CNN. 307 00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:18,075 Speaker 1: So what Ellison is doing at CBS with Barry Weiss 308 00:20:19,795 --> 00:20:24,275 Speaker 1: is to replace everything that exists in the history of 309 00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:28,555 Speaker 1: CBS News, from Edward R. Murrow to Dan Rather to 310 00:20:28,755 --> 00:20:35,475 Speaker 1: Katie Kirk. For God's sakes, everything in that entire roster, good, bad, 311 00:20:35,515 --> 00:20:40,115 Speaker 1: and okay will be replaced by right wing sewer droppings 312 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:44,675 Speaker 1: like Barry Weise, and then just magically assume because you 313 00:20:44,755 --> 00:20:48,395 Speaker 1: have dumbed it down and made it available to right 314 00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:50,755 Speaker 1: wing and center right people that they will now start 315 00:20:50,795 --> 00:20:53,075 Speaker 1: watching it too. I mean, where are those left wing 316 00:20:53,075 --> 00:20:54,715 Speaker 1: people going to go. It's not like there are other 317 00:20:54,835 --> 00:21:01,755 Speaker 1: news networks. CNN did this and self destructed. The ratings 318 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:06,915 Speaker 1: at CNN were competitive with MSNBC three years ago. Then 319 00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:13,555 Speaker 1: we all got licked. Chris licked as this podcast began, 320 00:21:13,715 --> 00:21:16,835 Speaker 1: so too did his reign of terror inside CNN. We 321 00:21:16,915 --> 00:21:20,235 Speaker 1: saw what happened. Everybody thought what a failure that was. 322 00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:22,355 Speaker 1: Now it was a total success. They brought him in 323 00:21:22,395 --> 00:21:25,675 Speaker 1: there to do that, to discredit everything that CNN did, 324 00:21:25,835 --> 00:21:29,155 Speaker 1: to destroy everything that worked well, to take people off 325 00:21:29,195 --> 00:21:32,715 Speaker 1: the air who were functioning in unusual positions because they 326 00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:35,395 Speaker 1: were kind of protected, like Don Lemon, who had a 327 00:21:35,435 --> 00:21:39,475 Speaker 1: purpose in this media ferment and who they immediately put 328 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:41,515 Speaker 1: in a position where he could not be comfortable with 329 00:21:41,555 --> 00:21:43,875 Speaker 1: the people he was working with. Is that Don Lemon's 330 00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,035 Speaker 1: fault on a personal basis, Yes, But anybody who would 331 00:21:47,035 --> 00:21:49,075 Speaker 1: look at that situation and say, we're getting our money's 332 00:21:49,115 --> 00:21:51,035 Speaker 1: worth out of Don Lemon, let's move him into a 333 00:21:51,075 --> 00:21:53,715 Speaker 1: position where we can't possibly get thirty five cents out 334 00:21:53,715 --> 00:21:59,475 Speaker 1: of him, it's their fault. Then CNN did it, The 335 00:21:59,555 --> 00:22:03,275 Speaker 1: Washington Post did it, million and a half cancelations, something 336 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:06,755 Speaker 1: like that in subscriptions and NOWBS under Barry Weiss, the 337 00:22:06,795 --> 00:22:11,275 Speaker 1: former naivete and dumbing down editor from New York Times Opinions, 338 00:22:13,435 --> 00:22:15,835 Speaker 1: a quote that The New York Times a little too 339 00:22:15,915 --> 00:22:20,235 Speaker 1: late used in its profile of mis Weiss. As she 340 00:22:20,555 --> 00:22:24,875 Speaker 1: ascended to the throne at CBS News, she told the 341 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:29,995 Speaker 1: Federalist Society, the influential conservative legal group, you know, like 342 00:22:30,035 --> 00:22:33,635 Speaker 1: the way the Luftwaffa was influential, she told them. According 343 00:22:33,635 --> 00:22:37,635 Speaker 1: to The Times in twenty twenty three, ms Weiss, who 344 00:22:37,715 --> 00:22:39,955 Speaker 1: is married to a woman, quote, I know that there 345 00:22:39,995 --> 00:22:42,195 Speaker 1: are some people in this room who don't believe that 346 00:22:42,275 --> 00:22:46,275 Speaker 1: my marriage should have been legal. And that's okay because 347 00:22:46,955 --> 00:22:53,635 Speaker 1: we're all Americans who want lower taxes. Sure you don't 348 00:22:53,675 --> 00:22:56,315 Speaker 1: have to respect my human rights as long as we 349 00:22:56,435 --> 00:23:01,475 Speaker 1: all keep more money. This is the creature now running 350 00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:07,115 Speaker 1: CBS News as editor in chief. Sure we'll send these 351 00:23:07,155 --> 00:23:11,755 Speaker 1: people to prison camps. Sure we'll raid their homes and 352 00:23:11,955 --> 00:23:17,115 Speaker 1: march their children naked into vans while pretending we are 353 00:23:17,115 --> 00:23:21,435 Speaker 1: opposed to pedophilia. Sure we'll do that as long as 354 00:23:21,475 --> 00:23:25,075 Speaker 1: our taxes come down. That's my job as the editor 355 00:23:25,115 --> 00:23:30,595 Speaker 1: in chief of CBS News because I've got my marriage 356 00:23:30,595 --> 00:23:33,355 Speaker 1: and it's okay, and you guys are going to leave 357 00:23:33,355 --> 00:23:37,635 Speaker 1: me alone because I'm doing your bidding here. I believe, 358 00:23:38,235 --> 00:23:40,595 Speaker 1: if you look carefully, Ms Weiss, the deal you have 359 00:23:40,715 --> 00:23:43,795 Speaker 1: made is not with CBS News and the Allisons, but 360 00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:48,075 Speaker 1: with the devil. I close from something that Oliver Darcy 361 00:23:48,155 --> 00:23:50,475 Speaker 1: again wrote, and sometimes I feel as if I should 362 00:23:50,515 --> 00:23:54,315 Speaker 1: just read his piece, his newsletter when it comes to 363 00:23:54,355 --> 00:23:58,675 Speaker 1: the media. I'm quoting him, quoting Max Tanney from Semaphore. 364 00:23:59,035 --> 00:24:02,755 Speaker 1: Barry Weiss met apparently with the employees of CBS News 365 00:24:03,315 --> 00:24:05,435 Speaker 1: as they sat there trying to figure out what else 366 00:24:05,435 --> 00:24:07,235 Speaker 1: they could do for a living, or at least where 367 00:24:07,235 --> 00:24:10,195 Speaker 1: else they could do it, and her last line to them. 368 00:24:10,275 --> 00:24:13,715 Speaker 1: Her exhortation to them was, according to Tanny of Semaphore, 369 00:24:15,795 --> 00:24:20,915 Speaker 1: let's do the fucking news. Unquote the line, as mister 370 00:24:21,035 --> 00:24:24,115 Speaker 1: Darcy writes, seemingly intended as a hip rally and cry 371 00:24:24,355 --> 00:24:28,555 Speaker 1: hit the wrong note, you think, instead, leaving a number 372 00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:33,835 Speaker 1: of staffers cringing as the independents justin Barragona reported, One 373 00:24:33,915 --> 00:24:38,435 Speaker 1: CBS staffer told our Natalie Koratch that they actually laughed 374 00:24:38,475 --> 00:24:43,635 Speaker 1: at the remark. Suffice to say, if Weiss wants to 375 00:24:43,675 --> 00:24:45,835 Speaker 1: actually win over the hearts and minds of the staffers, 376 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:48,555 Speaker 1: she now leads, she's going to need to do a 377 00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:52,115 Speaker 1: lot better than that. Well, that's almost unnecessary. She told 378 00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:55,195 Speaker 1: the people at CBS News, the people who have helped 379 00:24:55,395 --> 00:24:59,955 Speaker 1: to maintain CBS News in an environment that is anti news, 380 00:25:00,275 --> 00:25:08,595 Speaker 1: anti intelligence, anti washing your clothes, anti not smelling like conservatives, 381 00:25:10,355 --> 00:25:13,075 Speaker 1: they have kept this place together, and she's telling them, 382 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:18,035 Speaker 1: let's do the fucking news. As if you have ever 383 00:25:18,115 --> 00:25:23,475 Speaker 1: done anything connected to news in your life, you immoral, 384 00:25:24,635 --> 00:25:31,875 Speaker 1: total loser Barry Weiss. But some things never change. The 385 00:25:31,955 --> 00:25:34,875 Speaker 1: last time I worked for CBS and CBS News was 386 00:25:34,955 --> 00:25:38,715 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety one. I was the lame duck sports director 387 00:25:38,795 --> 00:25:42,075 Speaker 1: of Channel two case CBS in Los Angeles owned and 388 00:25:42,195 --> 00:25:46,435 Speaker 1: operated station. Our sports cast usually finished second in the ratings, 389 00:25:46,435 --> 00:25:48,555 Speaker 1: but the newscast finished third, and they were paying me 390 00:25:49,075 --> 00:25:51,435 Speaker 1: quite a lot of money, and they had an option 391 00:25:51,515 --> 00:25:53,395 Speaker 1: for another two years of quite a lot of money, 392 00:25:53,435 --> 00:25:56,115 Speaker 1: about five hundred thousand dollars a year. And they had 393 00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,275 Speaker 1: a newscaster who wasn't very good at it who they 394 00:25:58,355 --> 00:26:01,275 Speaker 1: thought they could make back into the sportscaster and thus 395 00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:03,915 Speaker 1: just eliminate my position, not just get rid of me 396 00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:07,555 Speaker 1: and get somebody, but literally zero out the cost of 397 00:26:07,635 --> 00:26:12,595 Speaker 1: Keith Oulverman save five hundred thousand dollars. In their position, 398 00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:15,075 Speaker 1: I probably would have not picked up the option too, 399 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,395 Speaker 1: I had been notified of this, but because it was CBS, 400 00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:22,515 Speaker 1: and because I actually am a professional and always have been, 401 00:26:22,955 --> 00:26:26,395 Speaker 1: and I've always been in this position trusted to stay 402 00:26:26,435 --> 00:26:28,955 Speaker 1: on even after my employers have told me, now we're 403 00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:31,915 Speaker 1: going to fire you in three months, we'd like you 404 00:26:31,955 --> 00:26:34,555 Speaker 1: to continue to do things. I stayed at CBS and 405 00:26:34,595 --> 00:26:37,155 Speaker 1: among other things. There was a day in late nineteen 406 00:26:37,235 --> 00:26:39,635 Speaker 1: ninety one when I had already been a lame duck 407 00:26:39,675 --> 00:26:42,595 Speaker 1: and had already I think, negotiated a deal to go 408 00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,755 Speaker 1: to ESPN. In the beginning of the new year of 409 00:26:44,795 --> 00:26:49,275 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety two, I went to the Los Angeles Forum, 410 00:26:49,315 --> 00:26:52,195 Speaker 1: the then home of the LA Lakers, and anchored from 411 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:56,075 Speaker 1: the field in a space that was the smallest place 412 00:26:56,115 --> 00:27:00,155 Speaker 1: I've ever actually anchored from Magic Johnson's news conference in 413 00:27:00,195 --> 00:27:04,235 Speaker 1: which he announced he had HIV. And nothing can permit 414 00:27:04,315 --> 00:27:06,595 Speaker 1: me to explain to you what that was like, because 415 00:27:06,635 --> 00:27:09,115 Speaker 1: that was presumed at that point by everybody in that 416 00:27:09,235 --> 00:27:14,715 Speaker 1: room except Magic Johnson, to be a death sentence. If 417 00:27:14,715 --> 00:27:17,475 Speaker 1: you look at the videotapes of every station and everybody 418 00:27:17,515 --> 00:27:19,875 Speaker 1: on the air and everybody they interviewed, we're all white 419 00:27:19,915 --> 00:27:22,395 Speaker 1: as sheets, and it's not some sort of interference with 420 00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:27,715 Speaker 1: the signal from the basement of the LA Forum. It 421 00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:30,915 Speaker 1: was a death sentence, except he didn't make so, and 422 00:27:30,955 --> 00:27:33,755 Speaker 1: he was right and we were all wrong. And now, 423 00:27:34,035 --> 00:27:36,635 Speaker 1: just on top of everything else, God bless him. He 424 00:27:36,675 --> 00:27:39,515 Speaker 1: owns the entire town of Los Angeles, he owns half 425 00:27:39,555 --> 00:27:44,355 Speaker 1: the Dodgers, he owns every theater in Los Angeles. Bless him. 426 00:27:44,435 --> 00:27:48,715 Speaker 1: I always like Buck. I called him that because he said, 427 00:27:48,755 --> 00:27:53,195 Speaker 1: call me Buck. My friends call me Buck. Okay, So 428 00:27:53,315 --> 00:27:56,395 Speaker 1: now I'm the Lane Duck Sports director and the station's 429 00:27:56,395 --> 00:27:58,915 Speaker 1: in third place again, and it's kind of a golden 430 00:27:58,955 --> 00:28:00,555 Speaker 1: time for me. It was the time I enjoyed the 431 00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:03,195 Speaker 1: job the most because there really wasn't anything I could 432 00:28:03,195 --> 00:28:05,675 Speaker 1: screw up, and so if there were any restraints on 433 00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:08,915 Speaker 1: what I was saying on the CBS Channel two Action 434 00:28:09,075 --> 00:28:12,275 Speaker 1: News in Los Angeles, they all went away. I just said, 435 00:28:12,275 --> 00:28:16,635 Speaker 1: what I felt, and so I'm called into a meeting 436 00:28:16,715 --> 00:28:18,995 Speaker 1: in the news director's office. Now, this was I think 437 00:28:19,075 --> 00:28:22,595 Speaker 1: the fourth news director who I worked for at CBS 438 00:28:22,715 --> 00:28:25,315 Speaker 1: in LA and his name was Jose Rios, and he 439 00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:29,035 Speaker 1: was a very successful news director, though not at Channel two. Then. 440 00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:31,235 Speaker 1: He had just been promoted from managing editor of the 441 00:28:31,275 --> 00:28:34,115 Speaker 1: newscast after the last guy had been marched out because 442 00:28:34,155 --> 00:28:38,355 Speaker 1: he was not all there in the office. I believe 443 00:28:38,395 --> 00:28:41,555 Speaker 1: they'd had something like fifteen news directors in eighteen years. 444 00:28:41,835 --> 00:28:44,395 Speaker 1: And the woman who served as the assistant to all 445 00:28:44,435 --> 00:28:46,475 Speaker 1: of them said one of them used to sit in 446 00:28:46,515 --> 00:28:50,235 Speaker 1: the closet in the news director's office without his pants on. 447 00:28:52,435 --> 00:28:55,195 Speaker 1: I said, how long did he last? And she just 448 00:28:55,355 --> 00:28:57,995 Speaker 1: laughed at me. I did not realize that I had 449 00:28:58,035 --> 00:29:00,875 Speaker 1: produced a double entendre. So this is the office we're in. 450 00:29:00,915 --> 00:29:03,795 Speaker 1: It had been the control room years and years earlier. 451 00:29:03,835 --> 00:29:07,035 Speaker 1: So it was a giant office, beautifully appointed by the 452 00:29:07,075 --> 00:29:10,075 Speaker 1: news director who hired me there. And now two news 453 00:29:10,075 --> 00:29:13,275 Speaker 1: directors later, the guy who's sort of overseeing the waning 454 00:29:13,315 --> 00:29:16,115 Speaker 1: weeks of the Keith Olberman experience has got all of 455 00:29:16,195 --> 00:29:18,235 Speaker 1: us in the newsroom. The ratings have come out. We're 456 00:29:18,235 --> 00:29:21,275 Speaker 1: even further in third place behind NBC and ABC than 457 00:29:21,315 --> 00:29:24,035 Speaker 1: we have before. The station has been in third place 458 00:29:24,035 --> 00:29:26,715 Speaker 1: for sixteen years, ever since the suits in New York 459 00:29:26,715 --> 00:29:30,235 Speaker 1: decided that winning every ratings book between nineteen fifty four 460 00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:33,395 Speaker 1: and nineteen seventy five was insufficient, and when they finished 461 00:29:33,795 --> 00:29:37,675 Speaker 1: tied for second or tied for first in the spring 462 00:29:37,715 --> 00:29:40,475 Speaker 1: of nineteen seventy five, at just eleven o'clock, they wanted 463 00:29:40,515 --> 00:29:42,515 Speaker 1: six and they were tied for first at eleven. They 464 00:29:42,515 --> 00:29:45,555 Speaker 1: had to fire all the anchors, who all then dispersed 465 00:29:45,595 --> 00:29:48,315 Speaker 1: to the other stations, and all of their viewers went 466 00:29:48,355 --> 00:29:50,555 Speaker 1: with them, because that's what happens when you get rid 467 00:29:50,595 --> 00:29:52,915 Speaker 1: of the people that people are used to watching, as 468 00:29:52,955 --> 00:29:58,555 Speaker 1: Barry Weiss will soon discover, and the Ellisons and Jeff Schell. 469 00:29:58,715 --> 00:30:00,955 Speaker 1: So this is nineteen ninety one. This is before these 470 00:30:00,955 --> 00:30:04,235 Speaker 1: decisions were based on what you felt politically. This was 471 00:30:04,275 --> 00:30:07,155 Speaker 1: simply a matter of what the ratings looked like and 472 00:30:07,195 --> 00:30:09,035 Speaker 1: how much money you were paying for the ratings, and 473 00:30:09,075 --> 00:30:11,395 Speaker 1: whether or not they could get the ratings with somebody cheaper. 474 00:30:12,275 --> 00:30:15,675 Speaker 1: So I'm sitting in this meeting and at the beginning 475 00:30:15,715 --> 00:30:19,475 Speaker 1: of it, the assistant to Jose Rios and as I said, 476 00:30:19,515 --> 00:30:21,275 Speaker 1: he went on to a very successful career as the 477 00:30:21,315 --> 00:30:24,715 Speaker 1: news director at Channel eleven, and I loved working with him. 478 00:30:24,835 --> 00:30:27,275 Speaker 1: This is not about him. Somebody told him to do this. 479 00:30:28,275 --> 00:30:31,675 Speaker 1: He came in and decided to do one of these. 480 00:30:32,635 --> 00:30:34,995 Speaker 1: I was flashed back to the movie The Natural, in 481 00:30:35,035 --> 00:30:38,795 Speaker 1: which a hypnotherapist is brought in to try to convince 482 00:30:38,955 --> 00:30:43,355 Speaker 1: Robert Redford's baseball team that losing is a disease as 483 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:48,515 Speaker 1: contagious as bubonic plague, that kind of thing. We did 484 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:51,955 Speaker 1: a little exercise in trying to break the third place habit, 485 00:30:52,555 --> 00:30:56,475 Speaker 1: and so what he did, Jose's assistant, I believe her 486 00:30:56,555 --> 00:31:02,035 Speaker 1: name was Sherry Friese, handed us all number three pencils. Pencils, 487 00:31:02,315 --> 00:31:05,595 Speaker 1: not number two pencils, but number three pencil They had 488 00:31:05,675 --> 00:31:09,475 Speaker 1: boxes and boxes of these things, and they handed them 489 00:31:09,475 --> 00:31:13,075 Speaker 1: to everybody in the room, probably seventy to one hundred staffers, 490 00:31:13,435 --> 00:31:18,315 Speaker 1: and on que we were all supposed to break the 491 00:31:18,355 --> 00:31:22,715 Speaker 1: pencil when Jose said three two one, we were supposed 492 00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:27,555 Speaker 1: to snap the pencils in half and break the number 493 00:31:29,275 --> 00:31:36,155 Speaker 1: three habit. You get it. I believe I was the 494 00:31:36,155 --> 00:31:38,195 Speaker 1: only person in that room who knew they would not 495 00:31:38,275 --> 00:31:41,675 Speaker 1: be working there for certain in six or seven weeks time. 496 00:31:41,875 --> 00:31:45,195 Speaker 1: And so guess what, I didn't break the pencil, and 497 00:31:45,275 --> 00:31:49,475 Speaker 1: people looked at me like I had just destroyed the magic. 498 00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:53,475 Speaker 1: You didn't break the pencil, and I went, my pencil 499 00:31:54,795 --> 00:32:01,115 Speaker 1: is just fine. Thank you very much to Chas. Change 500 00:32:01,275 --> 00:32:10,275 Speaker 1: to slemm shows quote, let's do the fucking news to 501 00:32:10,435 --> 00:32:15,555 Speaker 1: professionals from an utter amateur. Let's do the effing news, 502 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:21,355 Speaker 1: because I guess CBS no longer has a whole big 503 00:32:21,395 --> 00:32:28,555 Speaker 1: supply of number three pencils. Also of interest here, the 504 00:32:28,635 --> 00:32:34,555 Speaker 1: bad Bunny blowback has reached congress Woman Barney Rubble. Marjorie's 505 00:32:34,555 --> 00:32:40,155 Speaker 1: stupid Green wants to make English the official language in 506 00:32:40,235 --> 00:32:44,555 Speaker 1: response to Bad Bunny being selected to perform at the 507 00:32:44,635 --> 00:32:50,155 Speaker 1: Super Bowl. Which English the official language, I guess means 508 00:32:51,195 --> 00:32:53,875 Speaker 1: Marjorie Taylor Green is no longer allowed to talk ever again, 509 00:32:53,955 --> 00:32:58,675 Speaker 1: because whatever that is she's speaking, it ain't English. That's next. 510 00:32:58,995 --> 00:33:03,035 Speaker 1: This is countdown, George Crowing. Pleasure to have you here, 511 00:33:03,075 --> 00:33:05,075 Speaker 1: Thank you. This is the best news show. However, I 512 00:33:05,115 --> 00:33:07,155 Speaker 1: told that to one of your producers, and I want 513 00:33:07,195 --> 00:33:09,675 Speaker 1: you to know that I've seen them all and it's 514 00:33:09,835 --> 00:33:12,355 Speaker 1: just for especially the first thirty five minutes. Thank you. 515 00:33:12,515 --> 00:33:15,395 Speaker 1: It's just unparalleled. I got bad news between you and I. 516 00:33:15,435 --> 00:33:17,835 Speaker 1: We got six minutes to completely strom that in the back. Yeah, 517 00:33:17,875 --> 00:33:43,955 Speaker 1: that's good. Thank you George from wherever you are. I 518 00:33:43,995 --> 00:33:47,955 Speaker 1: needed that today. Still ahead on this editional countdown. I 519 00:33:47,955 --> 00:33:52,155 Speaker 1: haven't done Thurber in a while. Thursdays with Thurber, and 520 00:33:52,235 --> 00:33:54,515 Speaker 1: I want to go back to the piece that most 521 00:33:54,555 --> 00:33:59,115 Speaker 1: bizarrely gives me the most comforting times like these, which 522 00:33:59,155 --> 00:34:00,795 Speaker 1: turn out pretty much to be twenty four to seven 523 00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:05,595 Speaker 1: at the moment, a box to hide in. Next first, 524 00:34:05,635 --> 00:34:07,515 Speaker 1: believe it or not, there's still more new idiots to 525 00:34:07,555 --> 00:34:09,475 Speaker 1: talk about. The roundup of the miss Greens, morons and 526 00:34:09,555 --> 00:34:14,155 Speaker 1: Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's other worst persons 527 00:34:14,755 --> 00:34:18,635 Speaker 1: in the world. The runner up worse Texas Attorney General 528 00:34:19,075 --> 00:34:27,435 Speaker 1: Ken Paxton, the cockroach of the judiciary breaking. I'm launching 529 00:34:27,635 --> 00:34:34,035 Speaker 1: undercover operations to infiltrate and uproot leftist terror cells in Textas. 530 00:34:34,995 --> 00:34:38,795 Speaker 1: Leftist political terrorism is a clear and present danger. I 531 00:34:38,795 --> 00:34:43,315 Speaker 1: should have pronounced it in Texan. Leftist political terrorism a 532 00:34:43,635 --> 00:34:47,635 Speaker 1: clear present dinger. There can be no compromise with those 533 00:34:47,635 --> 00:34:53,355 Speaker 1: who want us dead. Well, Number one, that's your wife. 534 00:34:53,395 --> 00:34:56,875 Speaker 1: You're talking about right, those who want you dead because 535 00:34:56,915 --> 00:35:01,275 Speaker 1: this is undercover operations? Is this going to be different, Ken, 536 00:35:01,395 --> 00:35:04,515 Speaker 1: from what you normally do? I mean you're normally you're 537 00:35:04,755 --> 00:35:09,075 Speaker 1: undercover operations result in your wife suing you for divorce. 538 00:35:12,475 --> 00:35:16,995 Speaker 1: Keep your eye on the prize, Ken, Runner up everybody's 539 00:35:16,995 --> 00:35:23,355 Speaker 1: favorite Congressman from the CTE district, Derek van Orden. He 540 00:35:23,475 --> 00:35:26,515 Speaker 1: uses a bad word in here and also shows some 541 00:35:26,635 --> 00:35:30,395 Speaker 1: serious brain damage, so stand well back from your listening device. 542 00:35:31,435 --> 00:35:34,235 Speaker 1: Civix one oh one. The Senate requires sixty votes to 543 00:35:34,275 --> 00:35:36,715 Speaker 1: pass a bill. There are only fifty three Republicans in 544 00:35:36,755 --> 00:35:39,195 Speaker 1: the Senate. That means seven Democrats would have to vote 545 00:35:39,195 --> 00:35:41,235 Speaker 1: for the bill, or six could vote for it and 546 00:35:41,355 --> 00:35:44,515 Speaker 1: jd Vance would cast the tiebreaker. Follow me for more 547 00:35:44,555 --> 00:35:50,155 Speaker 1: shit you should have learned in fourth grade. Well, evidently 548 00:35:50,155 --> 00:35:54,235 Speaker 1: Derek dropped out in the third grade. That's sixty. That's 549 00:35:54,315 --> 00:36:00,795 Speaker 1: only for cloture. Cloture votes no, not cloak not closure 550 00:36:02,275 --> 00:36:06,195 Speaker 1: c L O t U R E. Should I spell 551 00:36:06,235 --> 00:36:12,355 Speaker 1: it for you? Things like nominations, budget reconciliations, house rules, 552 00:36:12,755 --> 00:36:15,995 Speaker 1: house rules changes. The meat and potatoes of the Senate 553 00:36:16,395 --> 00:36:21,835 Speaker 1: still simple majority fifty one forty nine or fifty one 554 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:24,155 Speaker 1: to fifty. That's why the vice president can break a 555 00:36:24,195 --> 00:36:27,315 Speaker 1: fifty to fifty tie deck. Only there isn't one at 556 00:36:27,315 --> 00:36:30,955 Speaker 1: the moment, so no vance can't vote to create a 557 00:36:31,035 --> 00:36:39,835 Speaker 1: sixtieth vote. See how this works now, Civics one oh one. 558 00:36:40,675 --> 00:36:44,355 Speaker 1: My god, he failed the course to get into Civics 559 00:36:44,395 --> 00:36:49,115 Speaker 1: one oh one. Honestly, congressman, I'm confident there is a 560 00:36:49,275 --> 00:36:53,475 Speaker 1: walk in clinic somewhere in Wisconsin where they can take 561 00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:57,235 Speaker 1: you right now and scan your brain and see if 562 00:36:57,235 --> 00:37:01,635 Speaker 1: whatever it is is reversible. It could easily be the 563 00:37:01,715 --> 00:37:08,795 Speaker 1: onset of something serious. Your brain does not work correctly. Please, 564 00:37:12,395 --> 00:37:16,115 Speaker 1: here's the frightening reality. There's somebody in Congress worse than him. 565 00:37:16,595 --> 00:37:22,195 Speaker 1: Our winner, Marjorie Stupid Green, never mind the fact that 566 00:37:22,275 --> 00:37:26,115 Speaker 1: she figured out that Obamacare is necessary to keep the 567 00:37:26,235 --> 00:37:31,235 Speaker 1: cost of her own families medical premiums from doubling, has 568 00:37:31,355 --> 00:37:37,915 Speaker 1: just one burst of intelligence in a sea of gurgling crap. 569 00:37:39,515 --> 00:37:42,555 Speaker 1: Bad Bunny says America has four months to learn Spanish 570 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:47,835 Speaker 1: before his perverse, unwonted performance at Super Bowl halftime. By 571 00:37:47,835 --> 00:37:52,555 Speaker 1: the way, speaker Johnson wants Lee Greenwood to perform Lee 572 00:37:52,635 --> 00:37:56,795 Speaker 1: Greenwood one hit Wonder eighty three years old. Ninety nine 573 00:37:56,835 --> 00:37:58,795 Speaker 1: percent of the country has no idea who he is 574 00:38:00,115 --> 00:38:03,355 Speaker 1: or that he's alive. Bad Bunny says America has four 575 00:38:03,395 --> 00:38:06,555 Speaker 1: months to learn Spanish before perverse unwanted performance at the 576 00:38:06,555 --> 00:38:09,435 Speaker 1: Super Bowl half time. It would be a good time 577 00:38:09,475 --> 00:38:12,635 Speaker 1: to pass my bill to make English the official language 578 00:38:12,675 --> 00:38:15,995 Speaker 1: of America. And the NFL needs to stop having demonic 579 00:38:16,075 --> 00:38:20,195 Speaker 1: sexual performances during its halftime shows. I know, madam, we 580 00:38:20,275 --> 00:38:23,275 Speaker 1: need to leave the demonic sexual performances to you in 581 00:38:23,315 --> 00:38:28,355 Speaker 1: the privacy of your own gym. But Marjorie Taylor Green, 582 00:38:28,435 --> 00:38:32,275 Speaker 1: you want to make English the official language. When you 583 00:38:32,355 --> 00:38:38,155 Speaker 1: said that we were being pushed around by the Gaspacho police, 584 00:38:39,435 --> 00:38:43,515 Speaker 1: when you said rights were being fragrantly violated, when you 585 00:38:43,595 --> 00:38:49,715 Speaker 1: insisted that something was like a peachtree dish, Marge, if 586 00:38:49,715 --> 00:38:52,835 Speaker 1: you make English the official language, you'll have to go 587 00:38:52,915 --> 00:38:56,195 Speaker 1: to jail because that's not what you're speaking. Dim bulb 588 00:38:57,795 --> 00:39:03,755 Speaker 1: Marjorie Taylor. She fails English and Van Orden fails fourth 589 00:39:03,755 --> 00:39:10,955 Speaker 1: grade social study. He's Green. Today's other worst person been 590 00:39:11,035 --> 00:39:30,075 Speaker 1: the Gyspatcho Police. It's been a long week, and every 591 00:39:30,115 --> 00:39:33,635 Speaker 1: time I find myself thinking it's been a long week, 592 00:39:34,475 --> 00:39:36,835 Speaker 1: I like to turn to my book of James Thurber, 593 00:39:37,115 --> 00:39:39,075 Speaker 1: and it's Fridays with Thurber. And it's been a few 594 00:39:39,155 --> 00:39:42,235 Speaker 1: fridays since I've done any James Thurber. And so let's 595 00:39:42,275 --> 00:39:45,075 Speaker 1: start at the beginning. As I've mentioned many times, I 596 00:39:45,195 --> 00:39:48,315 Speaker 1: read this story first aloud in a class in college 597 00:39:48,355 --> 00:39:50,595 Speaker 1: in nineteen seventy nine, and a friend of mine came 598 00:39:50,675 --> 00:39:53,075 Speaker 1: up to me and said, you should forget that sportscasting thing. 599 00:39:53,315 --> 00:39:56,635 Speaker 1: You should read Thurber for a living, And I said, yeah, 600 00:39:56,675 --> 00:40:03,315 Speaker 1: that'll ever happen. This is, for some reason, salvation for me, Catharsis, 601 00:40:03,355 --> 00:40:06,235 Speaker 1: and every other emotion that is appropriate after it has 602 00:40:06,275 --> 00:40:13,355 Speaker 1: been a long week. A Box to Hide In by 603 00:40:13,435 --> 00:40:19,995 Speaker 1: James Thurber. I waited till the large woman with the 604 00:40:20,075 --> 00:40:25,195 Speaker 1: awful hat took up her sack of groceries and went out, 605 00:40:25,595 --> 00:40:28,995 Speaker 1: peering at the tomatoes and the lettuce on her way. 606 00:40:30,075 --> 00:40:33,995 Speaker 1: The clerk asked me what mine was. Have you got 607 00:40:34,035 --> 00:40:37,795 Speaker 1: a box, I asked, A large box. I want a 608 00:40:37,835 --> 00:40:43,275 Speaker 1: box to hide in. You want a box, he asked, 609 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,715 Speaker 1: I want a box to hide in. I said, what 610 00:40:46,755 --> 00:40:48,875 Speaker 1: do you mean? He said, you mean a big box? 611 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,515 Speaker 1: I said, I meant a big box big enough to 612 00:40:52,555 --> 00:40:55,795 Speaker 1: hold me. I haven't got any boxes, he said, only 613 00:40:55,875 --> 00:41:01,075 Speaker 1: cottons that cans come in. I tried several other groceries 614 00:41:01,115 --> 00:41:02,915 Speaker 1: and none of them had a box big enough for 615 00:41:02,995 --> 00:41:05,995 Speaker 1: me to hide in. There was nothing for it but 616 00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:11,355 Speaker 1: to face life out. I didn't feel strong, and I'd 617 00:41:11,355 --> 00:41:15,035 Speaker 1: had this overpowering desire to hide in a box for 618 00:41:15,115 --> 00:41:20,155 Speaker 1: a long time. Well, what do you mean you want 619 00:41:20,155 --> 00:41:23,995 Speaker 1: to hide in this box, one grocer asked me. It's 620 00:41:24,115 --> 00:41:28,195 Speaker 1: a form of escape. I told him, hiding in a box. 621 00:41:28,755 --> 00:41:33,475 Speaker 1: It circumscribes your worries in the range of your anguish. 622 00:41:34,155 --> 00:41:37,435 Speaker 1: You don't see people either. How the hell do you 623 00:41:37,475 --> 00:41:40,035 Speaker 1: eat when you're in this box? Asked the grocer. How 624 00:41:40,035 --> 00:41:42,795 Speaker 1: don't the hell do you get anything to eat? I 625 00:41:42,835 --> 00:41:45,115 Speaker 1: said I had never been in a box and didn't know, 626 00:41:45,195 --> 00:41:49,035 Speaker 1: but that that would take care of itself. Well, he said, finally, 627 00:41:49,715 --> 00:41:53,195 Speaker 1: I haven't got any boxes, only some pasteboard cartons that 628 00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:59,035 Speaker 1: cans come in. It was the same every place. I 629 00:41:59,115 --> 00:42:01,595 Speaker 1: gave up when it got dark and the groceries closed, 630 00:42:02,275 --> 00:42:05,395 Speaker 1: and hid in my room again. I turned out the 631 00:42:05,475 --> 00:42:08,515 Speaker 1: light and lay on the bed. You feel better when 632 00:42:08,555 --> 00:42:12,155 Speaker 1: it gets dark. I could have hit in a closet, 633 00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:17,955 Speaker 1: I suppose, but people are always opening doors. Somebody would 634 00:42:17,995 --> 00:42:21,195 Speaker 1: find you in a closet. They would be startled, and 635 00:42:21,235 --> 00:42:23,635 Speaker 1: you'd have to tell them why you're in the closet. 636 00:42:23,955 --> 00:42:27,395 Speaker 1: Nobody pays attention to a big box lying on the floor. 637 00:42:27,715 --> 00:42:31,915 Speaker 1: You could stay in it for days and nobody'd think 638 00:42:32,075 --> 00:42:38,715 Speaker 1: to look in it, not even the cleaning woman. My 639 00:42:38,995 --> 00:42:41,475 Speaker 1: cleaning woman came the next morning and woke me up, 640 00:42:41,795 --> 00:42:44,715 Speaker 1: and I was still feeling bad. I asked her if 641 00:42:44,755 --> 00:42:47,795 Speaker 1: she knew where I could get a large box. How 642 00:42:47,795 --> 00:42:51,555 Speaker 1: big a box you want, she asked, I want a 643 00:42:51,595 --> 00:42:54,115 Speaker 1: box big enough for me to get inside of, I said. 644 00:42:55,235 --> 00:42:59,635 Speaker 1: She looked at me with big, dim eyes. There's something 645 00:42:59,675 --> 00:43:03,515 Speaker 1: wrong with her glands. She's awful, but she has a 646 00:43:03,555 --> 00:43:08,235 Speaker 1: big heart, which makes it worse. She's unbearable. Her husband 647 00:43:08,315 --> 00:43:10,675 Speaker 1: is sick, and her children are sick, and she is 648 00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:13,155 Speaker 1: sick too. I got to thinking how pleasant it would 649 00:43:13,155 --> 00:43:15,115 Speaker 1: be if I were in a box now and didn't 650 00:43:15,115 --> 00:43:17,235 Speaker 1: have to see her. I'd be in a box right 651 00:43:17,235 --> 00:43:19,435 Speaker 1: there in the room, and she wouldn't know. I wondered 652 00:43:19,475 --> 00:43:23,115 Speaker 1: if you had a desire to bark or laugh when 653 00:43:23,155 --> 00:43:26,715 Speaker 1: someone who doesn't know walks by the box you were in. 654 00:43:28,635 --> 00:43:31,035 Speaker 1: Maybe she would have a spell with her heart. If 655 00:43:31,075 --> 00:43:35,515 Speaker 1: I did that would die right there. The officers and 656 00:43:35,555 --> 00:43:39,155 Speaker 1: the elevator man and mister Grammage would find us funny, 657 00:43:39,195 --> 00:43:41,915 Speaker 1: dog gone thing happened at the building last night. The 658 00:43:41,995 --> 00:43:44,155 Speaker 1: doorman would say to his wife, I led in this 659 00:43:44,195 --> 00:43:46,195 Speaker 1: woman to clean up tenf and she never come out. 660 00:43:46,235 --> 00:43:48,595 Speaker 1: See she's never in there more in an hour, but 661 00:43:48,675 --> 00:43:51,275 Speaker 1: she never come out. See. So when it got time 662 00:43:51,315 --> 00:43:53,195 Speaker 1: for me to go off duty, why, I says to Credit, 663 00:43:53,235 --> 00:43:55,035 Speaker 1: who was on the elevator, I says, what the hell 664 00:43:55,075 --> 00:43:58,115 Speaker 1: you suppose has happened to that woman cleans tenf? He 665 00:43:58,155 --> 00:44:00,475 Speaker 1: says he didn't know. He says he never seen her 666 00:44:00,475 --> 00:44:02,915 Speaker 1: after he took her up. So I spoke to mister 667 00:44:02,995 --> 00:44:06,875 Speaker 1: Grammage about it. Sorry to bother you, mister Grammage, I says, 668 00:44:07,315 --> 00:44:10,035 Speaker 1: but there's something funny about that woman cleans ten f. 669 00:44:10,835 --> 00:44:13,035 Speaker 1: So I told him. So he said we better have 670 00:44:13,075 --> 00:44:15,035 Speaker 1: a look, and we all three goes up and knuts 671 00:44:15,035 --> 00:44:17,715 Speaker 1: on the door and rings the bells, seeing nobody answers, 672 00:44:17,995 --> 00:44:20,035 Speaker 1: so he said we'd have to walk in. So Credit 673 00:44:20,115 --> 00:44:22,355 Speaker 1: opened the door and we walked in, and here was 674 00:44:22,395 --> 00:44:27,235 Speaker 1: this woman cleans the apartment dead as a herring on 675 00:44:27,315 --> 00:44:32,155 Speaker 1: the floor, and the gentleman that lives there was in 676 00:44:32,235 --> 00:44:38,715 Speaker 1: a box. The cleaning woman kept looking at me. It 677 00:44:38,835 --> 00:44:44,195 Speaker 1: was hard to realize she wasn't dead. It's a form 678 00:44:44,235 --> 00:44:51,555 Speaker 1: of escape, I murmured, wat say. She asked, Dully, you 679 00:44:51,595 --> 00:44:56,035 Speaker 1: don't know of any large packing boxes, do you? I asked, now, 680 00:44:56,155 --> 00:45:01,355 Speaker 1: I don't. She said, I haven't found one yet. But 681 00:45:01,475 --> 00:45:05,635 Speaker 1: I still have this overpowering urge to hide in a box. 682 00:45:07,155 --> 00:45:10,195 Speaker 1: Maybe it will go away, maybe I'll be all right, 683 00:45:11,715 --> 00:45:30,875 Speaker 1: Maybe it will get worse. It's hard to say. Forty 684 00:45:30,915 --> 00:45:37,795 Speaker 1: six years since I first read that in public, I 685 00:45:37,835 --> 00:45:39,795 Speaker 1: still didn't get any better at it. I've done all 686 00:45:39,835 --> 00:45:41,675 Speaker 1: the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. 687 00:45:41,675 --> 00:45:44,235 Speaker 1: Most of our Countdown music was arranged, produced, and performed 688 00:45:44,235 --> 00:45:47,435 Speaker 1: by Brian Ray and John Phillips Chanel. Our musical directors 689 00:45:47,435 --> 00:45:50,475 Speaker 1: have Countdown. It was produced by Tko Brothers. Mister Ray 690 00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:53,315 Speaker 1: was on the guitars, bass and drums. Mister Chanelle handled 691 00:45:53,355 --> 00:45:57,275 Speaker 1: orchestration and keyboards. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are 692 00:45:57,275 --> 00:46:00,475 Speaker 1: by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The 693 00:46:00,595 --> 00:46:04,435 Speaker 1: Olberman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis 694 00:46:04,515 --> 00:46:07,595 Speaker 1: is courtesy of ESPN, Inc. That's the sports music when 695 00:46:07,595 --> 00:46:10,715 Speaker 1: we do sports. Other music arranged and performed by the 696 00:46:10,715 --> 00:46:14,315 Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. My announcer today was my late 697 00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:19,035 Speaker 1: friend and inspiration, George Carlin. Everything else was, as always 698 00:46:19,795 --> 00:46:22,915 Speaker 1: my fault. That's countdown for today. Day two hundred and 699 00:46:22,955 --> 00:46:27,675 Speaker 1: sixty three of America held hostage again, but just twelve 700 00:46:27,795 --> 00:46:31,915 Speaker 1: hundred days, even twelve hundred until the scheduled end of 701 00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:34,955 Speaker 1: Trump's lame duck and lame brain term unless he is 702 00:46:34,995 --> 00:46:39,595 Speaker 1: removed sooner by MAGA and Jeffrey Epstein, or that pavement 703 00:46:39,715 --> 00:46:43,995 Speaker 1: patch on his hand, or some stuck escalator somewhere, or 704 00:46:43,995 --> 00:46:48,555 Speaker 1: the psychopathy test or Tailan Hall, or that judge guy 705 00:46:48,595 --> 00:46:51,315 Speaker 1: he doesn't like, or that judge girl or some Illinois 706 00:46:51,355 --> 00:46:58,595 Speaker 1: politician list lengthens, or the next scheduled countdown is Monday. 707 00:46:59,035 --> 00:47:01,795 Speaker 1: I'll warn you right here. I may take this off. 708 00:47:02,155 --> 00:47:04,635 Speaker 1: I don't know if you noticed a certain struggle recently, 709 00:47:04,835 --> 00:47:06,995 Speaker 1: but in addition to the fact that I'm having some 710 00:47:07,115 --> 00:47:11,195 Speaker 1: vision problems, it's not permanent. It's just as you don't 711 00:47:11,235 --> 00:47:13,075 Speaker 1: want to know what it is, but it's temporary. It's 712 00:47:13,115 --> 00:47:15,435 Speaker 1: just lasting longer than it should. In addition to that, 713 00:47:15,515 --> 00:47:17,835 Speaker 1: my back went out. It's like, oh my god, what 714 00:47:17,955 --> 00:47:19,795 Speaker 1: am I an old Yes? I am an old man. 715 00:47:21,555 --> 00:47:24,555 Speaker 1: Oh well, I may take the day off. We'll see. 716 00:47:24,755 --> 00:47:30,195 Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Monday. Maybe maybe not till 717 00:47:30,235 --> 00:47:34,675 Speaker 1: then or whenever. I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, 718 00:47:34,755 --> 00:48:06,435 Speaker 1: good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olreman is 719 00:48:06,475 --> 00:48:11,275 Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit 720 00:48:11,315 --> 00:48:15,955 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.