Speaker 1: Hi guys, it's your I Do Part two celebrity mentor
Speaker 1: Jen Fessler, and today I am so excited because I
Speaker 1: get to share the mic with a legend an icon
Speaker 1: in reality TV. She's in her I Do Part two
Speaker 1: era and I cannot wait to dive in with her today.
Speaker 1: You guys know her from the Real Housewives of New York.
Speaker 1: She's the author of Life on the Ramona Coaster. It
Speaker 1: is Ramona Singer.
Speaker 2: Hi, Jen, I am so excited. I am so excited.
Speaker 1: I so Ramona and I just for the listeners, we
Speaker 1: go back a little ways, right, we know each other
Speaker 1: for a bit.
Speaker 2: Well. I love the fact that you make these great
Speaker 2: comfortable shoes. Yes, major, f major, thank you. I actually
Speaker 2: got it right. Yeah, I really want to get something right.
Speaker 2: I know the name.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, we know that you get a lot right.
Speaker 1: But you guys, I just quickly we want to just
Speaker 1: let you know, Ramona and our listeners. I've been a
Speaker 1: fan for so many years. It is and I know
Speaker 1: we've met before, but this is quite the thrill. So
Speaker 1: you guys, let's let's talk to Romona about everything Part two.
Speaker 1: But I hope we can just kind of start with
Speaker 1: Part one, okay, whatever you like to gym. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I would love to talk for the audience who doesn't
Speaker 1: know about you, know, your love and relationship backstory. Can
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit about how you and
Speaker 1: your ex husband Mario met, how long you guys were married.
Speaker 1: I mean, so many people followed you on the show.
Speaker 1: What a gorgeous couple. But just tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about how you guys met and how it all started.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's say that was probably what I
Speaker 2: met him. Let's say we were married in nineteen ninety two,
Speaker 2: so I met him in the late eighties, and that
Speaker 2: was when you could meet men. Okay, I know today
Speaker 2: everyone has a problem meeting men. Then you'd meet men
Speaker 2: like drop fruit, hanging fruit at the gym because no
Speaker 2: one was wearing that hair pod. The vertical club. The
Speaker 2: vertical club, hell, you've got effect. Every boyfriend I had
Speaker 2: was in the vertical club. And the wildest thing is
Speaker 2: wherever I went to i'd be an aspen a guy
Speaker 2: say me, you're from the vertical club, right, I've been
Speaker 2: trying to talk to you for the past like three months.
Speaker 2: You never look at me. And anyway, that's how I
Speaker 2: met my ex husband. You met him at the vertical club? Yes,
Speaker 2: but about how good am I? Yeah? Babe?
Speaker 1: God?
Speaker 2: But outside the vertical club. So I'm at the hot
Speaker 2: restaurant called chowd Bella. It was like kitchen, it was
Speaker 2: like the popular place. And he was standing next to
Speaker 2: me and I see this good looking guy and he
Speaker 2: looks at me and he says, you work out at
Speaker 2: the vertical club, don't you. I go, yeah, he goes,
Speaker 2: and you wear that little black G string with the
Speaker 2: green ruffle. Everyone's wearing g strings then, but with like
Speaker 2: I had a little acid green ruffle, and at that
Speaker 2: caught his eye right my butt and then what he asked? Well,
Speaker 2: we then we went out, but I had just broken
Speaker 2: up with the guy I was engaged with, and the
Speaker 2: whole date I was talking about the Ring, the Ring,
Speaker 2: the Ring. Never talk about x's on your days. I
Speaker 2: know that. Now is the rule? Why it worked? No,
Speaker 2: it didn't because we broke up for a year. Wait,
Speaker 2: you and Mario broke up for a year. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then I got engaged to somebody else, So I only
Speaker 2: went out on one date.
Speaker 1: Hold on, so you went out with Mario?
Speaker 2: Okay? We had what? Okay with Wow, we had we
Speaker 2: had one. We had a date and and that was
Speaker 2: and then he was take me out that weekend, and
Speaker 2: it was a Saturday. He was, I'm gonna call you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you on my boat, take a change
Speaker 2: of clothing, and blah blah blah blah blah. So I'm
Speaker 2: waiting by the phone, and you know, we didn't have
Speaker 2: cell phones then, and it's like now eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock.
Speaker 2: I go, you know what, that asshole is probably with
Speaker 2: some other girl. You know, I'm calling him up. And
Speaker 2: I called him up, but he says, oh, I'm not
Speaker 2: feeling well and I'm just calling bullsh myself to him.
Speaker 2: And then a few days later he calls me on
Speaker 2: my answering machine and he says, Hey, it's Mario. Call me.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know what about Hey, it's Mario.
Speaker 2: I'm starting to get to see you. I'd like to
Speaker 2: see you again. And his version was like that girl
Speaker 2: never called me to check up on me if I
Speaker 2: was sick or not. So we never went out again,
Speaker 2: and I got engaged to somebody else, and I'd always
Speaker 2: see Mario at the gym and we'd flirt and he
Speaker 2: said we should go out. I go, I can't go
Speaker 2: out with you. I'm engaged and my fiance doesn't know you.
Speaker 2: And then the day I broke up with my fiance
Speaker 2: and I moved back into my apartment, the phone rang,
Speaker 2: I go, who could be calling me? No one knows
Speaker 2: i'm here. I just found out i'm here. And he said,
Speaker 2: it's Mario, and I think we should. You know, I'd
Speaker 2: like to see what your status is. And I go, funny,
Speaker 2: you should ask me. I just broke off my engagement.
Speaker 2: It's fine, let's go out. Oh my god, I said,
Speaker 2: I'm not ready to go out of this story.
Speaker 1: See, I'm sorry. I have this whole thing about playing
Speaker 1: a little hard to get I kind of. I mean,
Speaker 1: some people think don't play games. But like the way
Speaker 1: you just describe this, like you were not and these
Speaker 1: I know you listeners if you watch a show not
Speaker 1: they were a gorgeous couple. He's a tall, very handsome man.
Speaker 2: Yeah. People use a mistakeme as an older version of
Speaker 2: John Kennedy junior.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can see that. I can absolutely see that.
Speaker 1: So but you like you were you remoaned him, you
Speaker 1: were not kissing his ass.
Speaker 2: I love it. But then we went out and I
Speaker 2: broke up with him again, really yeah, And then we
Speaker 2: got back together again and we got engaged and married
Speaker 2: in twenty two years, right yeah, and we had a
Speaker 2: beautiful marriage until it wasn't. I would if I had
Speaker 2: to do it all over again, I would. You said
Speaker 2: that to me.
Speaker 1: You've said that to me, which I love, because I've
Speaker 1: made plenty of mistakes in my life and I think
Speaker 1: I would not enjoy doing them over again. But they
Speaker 1: got me to where I am now, so you know,
Speaker 1: worth it sort of. But anyway, okay, you guys were
Speaker 1: married twenty two years. Tell us a little bit about
Speaker 1: when you knew it was time to actually, you know,
Speaker 1: pull the plug.
Speaker 2: And well, I found out my ex was cheating on
Speaker 2: me with this horrible girl. But when I remember going
Speaker 2: to my therapist and he said, you have to realize
Speaker 2: this is before I know he's having an affair, that
Speaker 2: he's having a midlife crisis. And I started laughing. She was,
Speaker 2: don't laugh. This is a serious thing, and he was.
Speaker 2: And most of my friends thought as soon as I
Speaker 2: found out he was cheating on me, I'd be so
Speaker 2: out the door, but I said, you know, you can't
Speaker 2: you can't really figure out what someone's going to do
Speaker 2: if you're not living in their shoes. And I believed
Speaker 2: in marriage. I believed in our relationship. I believed he
Speaker 2: was going through something, and I believe maybe we can
Speaker 2: work through this. And after one year of trying, I
Speaker 2: realized I couldn't make it work. Because I don't know
Speaker 2: if someone gave me this advice, but I think the
Speaker 2: best advice is you never leave a situation, whether it's
Speaker 2: a friendship, a lover, a job, anything you're doing until
Speaker 2: you're absolutely sure, because you die. I have to tell
Speaker 2: you that.
Speaker 1: It's very interesting because they say that you know it's
Speaker 1: right to get divorced, when it just nothing matters. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter about the money. You don't give a because
Speaker 1: divorce is hard. You don't care about the money, not
Speaker 1: that you certainly care about the kids, but you just
Speaker 1: feel like, listen, this is something that I absolutely have
Speaker 1: to do. It's such a trauma and I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever shared with you, Ramona, but I actually was separated.
Speaker 1: I also my husband also had an affair. We were
Speaker 1: separated for like a year and a half, and like you,
Speaker 1: I was you know, I was able to forgive him.
Speaker 1: I mean, we had this year and a half that
Speaker 1: was crazy, and I kind of made it up so
Speaker 1: to it like I.
Speaker 2: Was, I know, I get a few flings on your side, Yes,
Speaker 2: definitely so so, but but you know, it's hard. Divorce
Speaker 2: is a bit. It's like losing your arm. I felt
Speaker 2: like I was losing my arm. Yeah, you know. And
Speaker 2: when you're in a really good marriage after a while,
Speaker 2: it's like it's like a comfortable shoe, you know, it's
Speaker 2: just corrafortable and agree. I have no family, you know,
Speaker 2: And I remember he went he was pushing for the
Speaker 2: divorce really and I still, you know, and it was
Speaker 2: just and then we tried to recommend it was it
Speaker 2: was tough. It was the toughest thing, and I lost
Speaker 2: so much weight. I remember visiting my daughter at college.
Speaker 2: I wasn't telling her that he was having the affair
Speaker 2: then or anything, and she was, Mommy, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: I was emaciated, and I said, I have to flu,
Speaker 2: you know, And I was covering for him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow. I mean, it's so funny because I didn't
Speaker 1: tell my kids either until they were I mean, I
Speaker 1: never sat them down and told them, but they kind
Speaker 1: of figured it out also because I went on Jersey
Speaker 1: and talked about it there. But before, I mean, they
Speaker 1: knew before that. But it's an interesting thing because I
Speaker 1: always wanted to protect them, you know, and they have
Speaker 1: a great dad. He's wonderful and we're back together. So anyway, now.
Speaker 2: Now everyone was some good, really good advice. It doesn't
Speaker 2: work well to hold onto anger on your ex. I
Speaker 2: remember when I was going to a therapist. I was
Speaker 2: convincing my daughter to make up with my ex husband
Speaker 2: because she went and forgive them. And my therapist said,
Speaker 2: who are you. No women do that. They're thrilled when
Speaker 2: their kids don't want to talk to their spouse, like,
Speaker 2: oh no, she needs to have a relationship. And you know,
Speaker 2: it just creates angst and anger and aggravation, and you
Speaker 2: know what, we're like best friends.
Speaker 1: Now, you know. It's so it's just everything you're saying
Speaker 1: resonates with me. Again. I mean, I Jeff and I
Speaker 1: ended up getting back together, but I was so I
Speaker 1: think part of it was because even when we were separated,
Speaker 1: like my daughter would call and you know, try to
Speaker 1: bad mouth him. Daddy's doing this. I was like, honey,
Speaker 1: you dialed the wrong number. Don't call me to bad
Speaker 1: mouth Jeff Fessler. Okay, he's the bad and I think
Speaker 1: that was so great for them, so I think it's
Speaker 1: very important. Yeah, So, okay, I want to talk about
Speaker 1: something called gray divorce. Have you heard of this? No?
Speaker 2: I really haven't, so please educate me.
Speaker 1: Okay, I hadn't heard of it either until very recently.
Speaker 1: Apparently couples are splitting up after long marriages. So like
Speaker 1: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, right, they were together for
Speaker 1: like nineteen years, and of course, like everything else, they
Speaker 1: have to give a term to describe it or whatever
Speaker 1: saying to describe it. And it's a great divorce when
Speaker 1: you have a long term marriage and you get divorced,
Speaker 1: like after around fifty So apparently it's on the rise.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why that is.
Speaker 2: Why would you think, well, your call, oh because they
Speaker 2: have gray hair?
Speaker 1: You mean, I know, which I actually it's kind of offensive, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: don't because that actually happens a lot of people get
Speaker 1: divorced once the kids go to college, like you know,
Speaker 1: and that's actually what happened with my excuisband.
Speaker 2: Once my daughter's going to college, people start re examining
Speaker 2: the relationship. Do we have anything in common? I actually
Speaker 2: I had dinner with this woman who's a therapist, said,
Speaker 2: this couple came in. The man said, I'll stay married
Speaker 2: to you, but I want to be with other women.
Speaker 2: And she didn't want to leave the marriage and leave
Speaker 2: her life. And she says, okay, she accepted that. So people,
Speaker 2: I think we're all living longer. We're married longer.
Speaker 1: So that's actually what Yeah, I mean, I've been reading
Speaker 1: about grade divorce and they say a lot. They talk
Speaker 1: a lot about the fact.
Speaker 2: That people there's sixties have hout. People in their seventies
Speaker 2: are getting divorced together for thirty forty years correct, yep.
Speaker 1: So they say that like this, our demographic over fifty
Speaker 1: is actually calling it quits more often, like baby boomers
Speaker 1: and older adults like are three times more likely to
Speaker 1: be divorced than they were in the nineteen nineties. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a study by Bowling Green State University,
Speaker 1: and the trend of getting divorced after fifty has whatever
Speaker 1: been nicknamed gray divorce.
Speaker 2: But because the kids are probably I would imagine the
Speaker 2: statistic that they're saying that kids are in college. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and now people are you know, they're rethinking their life. Okay,
Speaker 2: my kids are in college, they're taken care of. Is
Speaker 2: this really what I want from my life? I also
Speaker 2: thirty year.
Speaker 1: People, I know people are lily like having affairs and
Speaker 1: they were like, well, I'm going to stay with him.
Speaker 1: That was always or I heard like friends of mine
Speaker 1: who are whatever having an affair and the guy would say,
Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for the kids to be in college
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna leave. There was a lot of that. Sure,
Speaker 1: lots of times it didn't happen, but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's I think it's interesting. So what do you think
Speaker 1: is one thing that people don't anticipate about marriage? Like,
Speaker 1: you know, you and Mario, at least as a viewer,
Speaker 1: you just looked like the perfect couple.
Speaker 2: Now, we were very male in love, that we were
Speaker 2: already divorced, and during COVID all my girlfriends would save me. Okay,
Speaker 2: you must have been making love to Mario. You must
Speaker 2: have had sex with at least once, because our sexual
Speaker 2: energy was so intent. I mean you could see it,
Speaker 2: you could touch it, right, which just our chemistry was great.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: But I think you know what people don't realize in marriage?
Speaker 2: That you know, a lot of times they get married
Speaker 2: for the site, sexual attraction or whatever it may be.
Speaker 2: But it's really important. You have to have the same
Speaker 2: goals and morals in life. You have to think about
Speaker 2: money the same way. You know, if someone's a big
Speaker 2: spender and you don't want to spend, that's going to
Speaker 2: be a problem. You know, you have to have some
Speaker 2: similar philosophy with raising children. You have to have common values.
Speaker 2: If you don't have common values, it's gonna really you know.
Speaker 1: I always say that because although it doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: it with you and Mario, but I feel like so
Speaker 1: often the spark that people talk about, right, that initial
Speaker 1: attraction and.
Speaker 2: Sparks, it never went away. If yeah, well in vary.
Speaker 1: I mean, at least from what I know and the
Speaker 1: people I've spoke to you, that's very unusual.
Speaker 2: My therapist told me that when first this is before
Speaker 2: you even do that unfair. I questioned my marriage when
Speaker 2: my mother died, and she says, you know, I was
Speaker 2: only in my I think I was in my early
Speaker 2: for fifty cent maybe late forties, and that you're thinking
Speaker 2: about your life and your marriage because your mother died.
Speaker 2: He thking about earlier she goes, tell me about your
Speaker 2: sex life. Igo, We have a great sex life. We
Speaker 2: make love like three four times in weekses, are you
Speaker 2: kidding me? Just most couples. I stop after two three years,
Speaker 2: I go, are you kidding me? So all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: this because I love sex, I love making less, I said, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm sticking with this guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Well, I honestly like I think that the
Speaker 1: part you when you were talking about having common values
Speaker 1: as well, that's so important. Do you feel like you're
Speaker 1: the common values you had with Mario changed? I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously the attraction, the physical attraction didn't.
Speaker 2: But my ex husban I don't really talk about him much.
Speaker 2: He first of all, he gets very depressed. And when
Speaker 2: he gets depressed, he gets a bedridden and that's very
Speaker 2: difficult to handle and hard. I'm a very positive person.
Speaker 2: I look at the glasses half full, this is half empty.
Speaker 1: So he had like clinical depression.
Speaker 2: So I would have to always like I didn't know
Speaker 2: when he's coming through the door, is gonna be happy
Speaker 2: or sad, you know, And that was a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure on me, Like I had to just always keep
Speaker 2: him happy. That was tough that, you know, And that
Speaker 2: happened in our later years of our marriage, not in
Speaker 2: the beginning.
Speaker 1: It sounds like though even at the end it wasn't you.
Speaker 1: You describe it at least as it really wasn't you,
Speaker 1: like you would have gone on like that, you know,
Speaker 1: no act.
Speaker 2: And he wasn't happy with his career. He never liked
Speaker 2: his career when we were he had his own company,
Speaker 2: and when he when I was first marriage, so I said, listen,
Speaker 2: if you don't like what you do, do something else.
Speaker 2: And then his business was failing and he goes, look,
Speaker 2: all our friends are so successful, and you know, look
Speaker 2: at me. And I said, so do something else. He's like,
Speaker 2: I said, well, you know you like cars, so why
Speaker 2: don't you like buy old cars, refurbish them and and
Speaker 2: do it. And he's like, well, I don't know how
Speaker 2: to do it. We'll just figure it out, because that's
Speaker 2: what I read you, right, because well, I'm not like you.
Speaker 2: I don't know how to reinvent myself. So right, he
Speaker 2: just wanted to just pack his bags and move to
Speaker 2: Florida permanently. And I go, I'm not moving to Florida
Speaker 2: perman This is.
Speaker 1: Why when you're on the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, he wanted to just like just.
Speaker 1: Didn't like doing the show.
Speaker 2: By the way, he liked it in the beginning, and
Speaker 2: then he didn't like when I got all the attention.
Speaker 2: You know, in the beginning, he'd be the one to
Speaker 2: take the photo because I never was like one to
Speaker 2: like photos. I don't, you know, people get the world idea.
Speaker 2: They Okay, I loved doing the show because number one,
Speaker 2: I had fun doing it. I enjoyed doing it. I
Speaker 2: was good at it, and I enjoyed making the money,
Speaker 2: and it was like something different for me. Yes, what
Speaker 2: I did like, which is like kind of a paradox.
Speaker 2: I didn't like the attention. I didn't like being written
Speaker 2: up in the press. I never wanted to sit at
Speaker 2: the front of the restaurant people come over to me
Speaker 2: and give me all that a duration. I didn't like, Wow,
Speaker 2: are you guys? I mean this made me uncomfortable, so
Speaker 2: made very I know.
Speaker 1: You, guys, our listeners, if you're surprised to hear that,
Speaker 1: but I am very surprised to hear that because your personality,
Speaker 1: you're such an extrovert, and at least on the show,
Speaker 1: you were always at the center of everything you have.
Speaker 1: You're certainly not a shrinking violence.
Speaker 2: No, I'm very sorry. People are everything to me, right,
Speaker 2: but I don't like strangers interrupting my conversation with you.
Speaker 2: And I remember before people did selfies. I remember going
Speaker 2: to the wine festival in Newport in Nantucket and these
Speaker 2: people come over. Can I take a phone? They go,
Speaker 2: I don't like to take it again, I don't like
Speaker 2: the funk. Can we take it? And then, thank God
Speaker 2: for selfies? Just take a quick selfie or I'd be
Speaker 2: in a restaurant. I'd be gracious to take one photo.
Speaker 2: Then twenty people come over. And I like my life
Speaker 2: apart me. Even my ex husband said, you know, we
Speaker 2: have a life with the TV. We have our life
Speaker 2: apart my friends. Never changed. I was never you know,
Speaker 2: I'm very consistent to who I am. I looked at
Speaker 2: as a separate life and as a business and I didn't,
Speaker 2: you know, and some people like, I'll tell her right,
Speaker 2: she knows it, like jill' zarren, she would. She didn't
Speaker 2: know how to divide the two her. Her her social
Speaker 2: life was her her TV life. She got to separate
Speaker 2: the two, right. I had a total separation. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: my church.
Speaker 1: And state like church and state. Let's get back to
Speaker 1: the whole second part of your second right. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: first tell me what you learned about yourself going through divorce,
Speaker 1: because we are going to get to our part too.
Speaker 1: But going through it, do you feel like you discovered
Speaker 1: things about yourself? Did you find it in her strength?
Speaker 1: Did you feel like.
Speaker 2: It was very It was the toughest time of my life.
Speaker 2: I remember like people would like write to me, how
Speaker 2: you're getting through this, and I say, you just take
Speaker 2: it one step at a time. I would just make
Speaker 2: sure i'd wake up in the morning, put my sneakers on,
Speaker 2: put some you know, workout clothes on, and I go
Speaker 2: out and just take a walk, get out in that
Speaker 2: fresh air and just do something physical, because that's good
Speaker 2: for your mind. I would I would meditate positive things.
Speaker 2: I love this Polynesian Spa. It's a tape and well
Speaker 2: I know what you call it now, a CD. You can
Speaker 2: get on spot You can get it on Spotify. Right,
Speaker 2: it's the sound of waves and music, no.
Speaker 1: Words, let me write it down Polynesian spot No, it's incredible.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually I use it a lot. When my ex
Speaker 2: husband was very depressed. My girlfriend's lay down light a
Speaker 2: candle and it would just help lighten me up because
Speaker 2: I'm a person where I take the energy from people.
Speaker 2: That's why I like being social, That's why I like
Speaker 2: having friends.
Speaker 1: I call it you're an mpath. You're an mpath sort
Speaker 1: of like in other words, isn't that right? Where you
Speaker 1: take somebody else's energy.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I get energy. I give them energy too.
Speaker 2: I mean, my friend's like, what do you mean you
Speaker 2: can't come to this lunch? What do you mean you
Speaker 2: can't come to the slide? You bring the energy, but
Speaker 2: I bring the energy because they give me the energy
Speaker 2: to give them the energy, right, you know, right? I
Speaker 2: mean my therapist say, well, who cares if your husband's depressed,
Speaker 2: just go to another room. But no, he's sucking the
Speaker 2: energy out of me. He's making me depress because he's depressed.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: See, that was the sort of the opposite. So I
Speaker 1: think Jeff and I we lost that spark, but we
Speaker 1: always had the other parts of our marriage, the parts
Speaker 1: that you were describing in terms of similar values and
Speaker 1: like we were just best friends. It was always easy
Speaker 1: with him and it still is to this very natural. Yes,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you guys were so attracted to each other,
Speaker 1: but there was that sort of chaos.
Speaker 2: Well, he wanted to know as we wanted the same
Speaker 2: things in the beginning, you know, with the New York City,
Speaker 2: a beautiful apartment, the Southampton house, social actifications. But then
Speaker 2: as he was nearing sixty, he really hated what he
Speaker 2: was doing and he wasn't feeling good about himself. You know,
Speaker 2: you can't love someone unless you love yourself first. You
Speaker 2: can't feel good about somebody else unless you feel good
Speaker 2: about himself. He wasn't feeling good about himself, and he
Speaker 2: just wanted to escape and just move to Florida, right,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm too young to pack it.
Speaker 1: I save a lot of lot of bidlife crisis men
Speaker 1: have the uh, let's move to Florida thing for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: But anyway, all right, what advice Ramona, would you give
Speaker 1: to someone listening who is just like in the thick
Speaker 1: of it, in the hard part of divorce, is there
Speaker 1: anything that you could.
Speaker 2: Get it over as fast as you can? I know
Speaker 2: I actually had to give my ex husband more money
Speaker 2: than I should have, but I didn't give a shit
Speaker 2: because you know, so what's an extra half a million million?
Speaker 2: You know it sounds. Your mental health is most important,
Speaker 2: because if you drag it out and fight. I mean,
Speaker 2: I remember his mother gives me some really gorgeous, gorgeous
Speaker 2: Buccilotti jewelry, and all of a sudden he wanted it
Speaker 2: all back again. And my doors said, who cares about
Speaker 2: the jewelry? I don't just just give it? But who
Speaker 2: would ask for that back? Oh? He was just crazy.
Speaker 2: So the point is you just have to just just
Speaker 2: end it fast. It's like cut off the band aid,
Speaker 2: you know, because it can you know, otherwise it can
Speaker 2: go on for years and months, and the lawyers just
Speaker 2: make all the money. So you're better off just cutting
Speaker 2: it and making a quick settlement and just move I mean,
Speaker 2: once we decided to get divorced, we got divorced in
Speaker 2: thirty days.
Speaker 1: Come on, yeah, thirty days. Wow, you guys really didn't
Speaker 1: you had?
Speaker 2: We just wanted to move on. We want to waste
Speaker 2: the money, spend hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars
Speaker 2: on the line.
Speaker 1: I just split everything up so quickly. No prenup, I
Speaker 1: assume no, no, right, how did you do that? Well?
Speaker 2: Listen, I gave up the building. He sold the building
Speaker 2: for a million and a half dollars. I was supposed
Speaker 2: to get half of that, but I gave it up
Speaker 2: a lot of money to give up. I find more
Speaker 2: money in his checking it in his savings than I did,
Speaker 2: because I paid all cash for the house in the
Speaker 2: Hamptons and paid up the mortgage. But he still was
Speaker 2: just don't out. I just said, I don't care, I
Speaker 2: don't care. You got to move on. You have to
Speaker 2: move on.
Speaker 1: I think it's great advice. I don't know how many
Speaker 1: of our listeners will take it, because his money is
Speaker 1: a thing.
Speaker 2: But yeah, well, you know, as women, we should always
Speaker 2: have some kind of business on the side. I mean,
Speaker 2: I always tell my daughter. My mother taught me, you
Speaker 2: know what, you can marry someone who is just okay,
Speaker 2: or someone richly. If you make your own money, you
Speaker 2: can marry just some one who's okay.
Speaker 1: My grandmother, you said it, I'll be independent because back
Speaker 1: in her day, you know, she all they did was
Speaker 1: not all they did. It was a lot, but they
Speaker 1: raised the kids. Dinner on the table. She used to say,
Speaker 1: a meat, potato, and vegetable, how to be on the
Speaker 1: table by the time he got home the cleaning. And
Speaker 1: she was such a brilliant woman, my grandmother, but she
Speaker 1: didn't have means, you know. And I think that that
Speaker 1: is the advice that I give my daughter as well.
Speaker 1: You have to have some independence, whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: then look at you differently.
Speaker 2: And that's what I want told me because my mother
Speaker 2: was abused physically and mentally my dad. I go, why
Speaker 2: are you with him? Because I don't you know, I
Speaker 2: had you. I never went to college. I had you
Speaker 2: when I was nineteen. And what am I gonna do?
Speaker 2: There was no domestic aview centers. He threatened to quit
Speaker 2: his job, he threatened to killer, he threatened all these
Speaker 2: Just promise me, get your education, make your own money.
Speaker 2: God forbid. Your marriage doesn't work out, you have the
Speaker 2: means to leave. You have financial secure A lot of
Speaker 2: them don't have that. The men control all the money.
Speaker 2: You can't let the man control of the money. I
Speaker 2: have to have money in your own account. Yes, you know,
Speaker 2: their destitute without the guy. And that is a bad
Speaker 2: place to be because then the man can take psychologically, takes
Speaker 2: advantage of you. If he knows that you're you're that
Speaker 2: you're you're in control of yourself financially a little bit.
Speaker 2: He's not going to be so quick to do nasty
Speaker 2: things to you.
Speaker 1: You know though i's psychologically I see sometimes all men
Speaker 1: are like that. No, of course not, but I see
Speaker 1: sometimes friends of mine who are going through divorce, who
Speaker 1: have been through divorce, and the men are like, you're
Speaker 1: going to if you don't agree to everything I say
Speaker 1: right now, I'm going to leave you with nothing, Like
Speaker 1: this is what it's going to be. I'm going to
Speaker 1: divide it up. And if you don't want to go
Speaker 1: along with me, and you want to try to get
Speaker 1: a lawyer and do your whole, and I always say like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: Like he's not God. There's something called the law, right
Speaker 1: and there's going You're not going to end up with
Speaker 1: nothing just because he is telling you that you are.
Speaker 1: So I mean, you know, I hate the idea that
Speaker 1: I know a lot of women, a lot of friends
Speaker 1: of mine who were just so scared and agreed to
Speaker 1: things maybe they wouldn't have if they hadn't had that fear.
Speaker 1: They're absolutely right, right, So you know, we both experienced
Speaker 1: in fidelity. But was it hard for you after that,
Speaker 1: after Mario hadn't been faithful to trust guys to get
Speaker 1: out there and start dating, Like, are you overly cautious now?
Speaker 1: Is it hard for you still to.
Speaker 2: Try when we first when we first got divorced, I
Speaker 2: really was. I also say to women, you have to
Speaker 2: have a powerhouse of friends. And I my girlfriend said,
Speaker 2: I can't believe all these women who are married or
Speaker 2: inviting you to their house. I got divorced and a
Speaker 2: woman would invite me to their house with her husband,
Speaker 2: and my friends just rallied around me, my fifty girlfriends,
Speaker 2: and they did with their husbands, and I would see
Speaker 2: them every weekend, and sometimes both people, ten people, ten
Speaker 2: people invite me to dinner. Go guess what I'm having
Speaker 2: all twenty of you to my house for dinner. And
Speaker 2: then I hung out a lot with my gay friends
Speaker 2: and developed more gay friends because at that point I
Speaker 2: didn't want to be with a man because I didn't
Speaker 2: want him to try to kiss me or touch me.
Speaker 2: And I felt very safe with male men that were
Speaker 2: gays because they would give me that you know, attention
Speaker 2: that we like from a man, but they're not going
Speaker 2: to do anything. And I just kind of buried myself
Speaker 2: with close friends. And then after two years I started,
Speaker 2: you know, well, actually I did date a little bit
Speaker 2: in between I did. I Actually I met this one
Speaker 2: man right away that actually forced me getting away from Mario,
Speaker 2: because Mario would always kind of get me back in.
Speaker 2: And I remember one time he came knocking. He had
Speaker 2: been away for a few months, and he knocked at
Speaker 2: the door, Honey, I'm home, just like that, Honey, I'm
Speaker 2: home like what, like in a normal voice, and I'm
Speaker 2: getting ready to go on a first date with the
Speaker 2: guy who I fell mad in love with. But unfortunately
Speaker 2: he died eight months later. But he helped me get
Speaker 2: out of my marriage. He signed a three million dollar
Speaker 2: more Coast signed a three million dollar mortgage for me,
Speaker 2: which enabled me to keep both homes, the Southampton house
Speaker 2: and the New York City apartment.
Speaker 1: So thank you was an how did you meet him?
Speaker 2: A setup? Set up, and he was like, you know
Speaker 2: what you got to get out of this divorce? While
Speaker 2: I said, you know, he said, he's going to stay
Speaker 2: in this apartment until I leave. Oh, because that's what
Speaker 2: he was doing. Always do a global settlement, Ladies don't
Speaker 2: do bit fractured because oh, well, let's just sell the
Speaker 2: apartment first and they'll figure everything else at first out later. No, no,
Speaker 2: it has to be a global settlement. I never heard
Speaker 2: that term. When you well, a global settlement everything you
Speaker 2: sell everything, right, you know, your your keyos, your investments,
Speaker 2: your homes, your properties, whatever it may be. Oh, everything
Speaker 2: has to be done at one time. He won like
Speaker 2: just sell the apartment first. He was so anxious to
Speaker 2: sell something and have money, you know. Wo right, So
Speaker 2: point is this man signed for this, and I mean,
Speaker 2: obviously I was paying for I didn't need him to
Speaker 2: sign it. But I didn't really show it enough, even
Speaker 2: though you know, unfortunately you could have millions in the bank,
Speaker 2: but if you're not showing huge money and earnings, they're
Speaker 2: not going to get that right, right. So that really
Speaker 2: saved me and got me away from Mari and broke
Speaker 2: the cycle.
Speaker 1: Wow, And you felt like in terms of intimacy, it
Speaker 1: sounds like this guy was such a gem.
Speaker 2: And because Marie and I are such a strong attraction,
Speaker 2: you have no idea. We just couldn't stay away from
Speaker 2: each other. We'd go away, come back, go away, come back.
Speaker 2: It was like a vicious cycle that wasn't healthy for me,
Speaker 2: and this man was I think he was really sent
Speaker 2: from God and or no for my angel I have
Speaker 2: an angel above it who really watches over me and
Speaker 2: pulled me away from that horrible cycle. And that's what
Speaker 2: broke my cycle and got me divorce. I met him
Speaker 2: like in April, and I was divorced by by the end.
Speaker 1: First name Mark, shout out Mark. Yeah, I love Mark. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you lost him, all right.
Speaker 2: So so then after that, yeah, I met and I
Speaker 2: was set with another guy that I went at with
Speaker 2: for a few months, but then he wanted me to
Speaker 2: have a baby. God. He wanted to surrogate the hell,
Speaker 2: and I said, my daughter just went to college. There's
Speaker 2: no way how much work a child is. I am
Speaker 2: not having a baby. So we broke up. And then
Speaker 2: my girlfriend said, listen, what are you do when you
Speaker 2: were married for over twenty years? You had two boyfriends
Speaker 2: back to back. I have some fun. So then I
Speaker 2: had two relationships with men that were basically twenty years
Speaker 2: younger than make nice. Yeah it was fun.
Speaker 1: And so okay, And I know you said at the
Speaker 1: beginning of this you enjoy sex. You like sex, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, ps everyone out there listening, that doesn't
Speaker 1: go away just because you get older. I hate that shit.
Speaker 1: I want people to see that I can't say that's
Speaker 1: the same for me, but you know, I'm a little jealous. Really, Yeah,
Speaker 1: look at how you're looking at me. Do you want
Speaker 1: to have sex with me? I going down the living pod,
Speaker 1: I did very flirtatiously.
Speaker 2: Wait, Ramona, I can't believe that is it? Just is it?
Speaker 1: Can I you don't have to answer this, but I mean,
Speaker 1: for me, not as much. And I think a lot
Speaker 1: of that is the hormones.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, I've always had a very high sex drive,
Speaker 2: and then lately I've done working with a doctor and
Speaker 2: he's giving me tostosterone and estrogen, right, And I don't
Speaker 2: think that's an increase the pellets, yeah, the pellets, yeah,
Speaker 2: but I don't think it increased my sex drive. I
Speaker 2: did it more for like you know, when you get older,
Speaker 2: women get like a vaginal dryness, yes, and your your
Speaker 2: walls kind of course, and an intercourse can be painful us.
Speaker 2: So I kind of did it for that, right, and
Speaker 2: just to be more helps having that testosterone, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I can sleep through the night. Yeah, he's
Speaker 2: more energy, but I already had a lot of energy. Yes,
Speaker 2: I already had the high sex drive. So basically it
Speaker 2: makes me sleep through the night. It's like a easier sex,
Speaker 2: not as pain all of that, right, because I used
Speaker 2: to do the other thing. It's called the Mona Lisa.
Speaker 2: It's a laser they put in vaginally how rejuvenate your
Speaker 2: because laser is the best thing. I mean. One of
Speaker 2: the reason why I look good is I go to
Speaker 2: lazy sob and hold on.
Speaker 1: I write it down.
Speaker 2: Hold on, I'm getting a lot too. And oh six,
Speaker 2: oh lady, lay write.
Speaker 1: It down the umber room today do you think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to call him for me. Yeah, get me
Speaker 1: in today.
Speaker 2: I'll get you in. Okay, Okay, So he does like
Speaker 2: clear and brilliance. So I do it every four months,
Speaker 2: three times a year, and it makes sure actually builds
Speaker 2: college and makes your poor smaller and it gives you.
Speaker 1: Just so listeners, You guys know, I'm staring at this woman.
Speaker 1: And of course I, Ramon, I see you. Obviously i've
Speaker 1: met we've met before on social media. But you always
Speaker 1: assume with social media that there's some kind of a filter.
Speaker 2: And I don't use filters. I don't even know how
Speaker 2: to use it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So and Ramona, guys, I'm not getting paid for this.
Speaker 1: You look un thank you believable.
Speaker 2: I mean, I cannot is that where that forty five
Speaker 2: year old tried to pick me up the other day? Okay, well,
Speaker 2: here's forty and he thought I was forty five. I
Speaker 2: always trying to pick him up for my daughter, who's thirty.
Speaker 2: He's forty and he goes, what what I thought you
Speaker 2: were forty five? It's true, it's on. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: So when we're off air, you're gonna have to make
Speaker 1: a list for me of every single thing that you do.
Speaker 1: All right, so you know, tell us where though now?
Speaker 1: And I think you had didn't you have a boyfriend
Speaker 1: for a while. I don't know exactly, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I really talk about my boys and let's not
Speaker 1: talk about now.
Speaker 2: But I like relationships. I one on one person. I
Speaker 2: don't like random sex. Okay, that's not who I am.
Speaker 2: I'd rather use my hand, right pair enough, Yeah, there
Speaker 2: are my likes relationships. I'm into relationships.
Speaker 1: Okay. So where do you find quality men.
Speaker 2: In non dating apps? That's for sure? Really? And not
Speaker 2: with matchmakers, that's for sure. Why I just meet them
Speaker 2: out socially?
Speaker 1: Really, like what spots in New York?
Speaker 2: Pardon?
Speaker 1: Like? What kind of spots do you go to in
Speaker 1: New York? Where would you tell our New York listeners
Speaker 1: to go? Well, I mean where to go?
Speaker 2: It's just any you know. Okay. The important thing is
Speaker 2: number one, you got to put your phone away. Okay,
Speaker 2: if you're in a restaurant or wherever you are a party,
Speaker 2: you can't have your phone looking at your phone. I
Speaker 2: who's going to talk to you looking at a phone?
Speaker 1: Okay? Agreed?
Speaker 2: You have to make eye contact, you see. Just walk
Speaker 2: into a room and smile. Okay, Look if I walk
Speaker 2: into a room.
Speaker 1: I'm like this or welcome room like this, and on
Speaker 1: your phone with your head and your phone.
Speaker 2: Oh are you gonna talk to? Who? You gonna look at?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: You make eye contact? And then when you go to
Speaker 2: a restaurant with a girlfriend, don't go out with six
Speaker 2: girls or five girls. That's like a pack. No guys
Speaker 2: going to approach you as a pack. Okay, they're too intimidated. Yep. Okay,
Speaker 2: So you got with one girl and then you sit
Speaker 2: at the bar and you order an appetizer and a drink,
Speaker 2: and you know, and you make eye contact. I mean,
Speaker 2: I advise girls get there earlier, get their twenty minutes earlier.
Speaker 2: Oh my girlfriends say, you can sit so long right
Speaker 2: next to you the bar. Love that, yep. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: just just beout the vibe, just openness and just make
Speaker 2: a comment like the way I got these other guys
Speaker 2: talking to me at this party. They're all tall. I said,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess you're height. I think you're six flog goes.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're right to go and your six
Speaker 2: fike goes, You're right. And that's sorted a whole conversation.
Speaker 2: You just try to pick something from the air that's
Speaker 2: just you know, is natural. Love it like we do
Speaker 2: on reality TV.
Speaker 1: Like we do on reality everything out in right reality
Speaker 1: TV is natural. So anyway, so what about a first date?
Speaker 1: So now you've hooked the guy and he asks you out,
Speaker 1: how do you get it? What do you think in
Speaker 1: terms of like if you ever First of all, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine a guy ever not asking you out on
Speaker 1: a second date. I don't know if that's ever happened
Speaker 1: to you. But although you said Mario first, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But how do you hook them on the first date
Speaker 1: if you're interested? Obviously?
Speaker 2: Well, I just think, well, first of all, I think
Speaker 2: with women, you can't put press when you're going out
Speaker 2: on a date. Don't look at it as a date. Okay,
Speaker 2: look at you're going out to meet someone to have
Speaker 2: a good time. Yep, you need to be relaxed. Okay,
Speaker 2: you have to be relaxed, and whether you hit it
Speaker 2: off or not, maybe he can become a friend, maybe
Speaker 2: he knows someone. So just go out with a very
Speaker 2: natural I feeling that you just want to get to
Speaker 2: know somebody.
Speaker 1: I say that to everyone all the time. I actually,
Speaker 1: by the way, I ran a dating service a million
Speaker 1: years ago as the director.
Speaker 2: I remember it's just lunch. Oh yes, yeah, I fixed
Speaker 2: up professionals on mondays.
Speaker 1: Yes that's a good I know I was director for
Speaker 1: a while. But I say this all all the time,
Speaker 1: especially like with the apps. If people are not you
Speaker 1: and not going out and meeting people that way and
Speaker 1: they want to do the apps, do not look at
Speaker 1: it like it's gonna Oh this is it. This is
Speaker 1: so important. I'm gonna go meet this guy, and there
Speaker 1: has to be a You're not going You're probably not
Speaker 1: going to it's probably not going to happen. This is
Speaker 1: probably not your husband. So you go out just to
Speaker 1: have a good time. You're meeting someone new, you're shooting.
Speaker 1: Maybe he knows someone, maybe you or not occasionally whatever,
Speaker 1: maybe there is a spark. But like, it's not worthless
Speaker 1: if you don't love each other, if there's not attraction, right,
Speaker 1: you're at all averages.
Speaker 2: It's a little average. I mean I was in sales. Okay,
Speaker 2: the more people you call, the more the more people
Speaker 2: come in for the appointment, the more people get the appointment,
Speaker 2: the more people would write an order for your company.
Speaker 2: It's a law of averages.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna have to give us a lead. One
Speaker 1: place in New York, though, because I know that my
Speaker 1: listeners are gonna want to know where to go. Just one.
Speaker 2: It's just just go in your.
Speaker 1: Like, are you right? But do you go? Do you
Speaker 1: sign up for classes? Are you doing yacht clubs? I
Speaker 1: mean anything?
Speaker 2: No, I want to do golf in tennis, okay, do
Speaker 2: you meet guys that way? Tennis not so much, but golf, Yes,
Speaker 2: you can meet men in golf. Golf is good. Okay,
Speaker 2: I say, girls get out there and just take lessons
Speaker 2: with the pro and you know, because men are out there.
Speaker 1: But there were places in New York. I remember back
Speaker 1: in the day like you used to go to Beacha.
Speaker 1: Remember beach A. Yeah, I sit at the bar there. Well,
Speaker 1: my girlfriends go to Avra a lot.
Speaker 2: Ava is a big place, has a lot of locations, okay,
Speaker 2: and it's you know they have big bars. Yes, Ava
Speaker 2: by Rockefeller Center. You have Avro on sixtieth Street. Is
Speaker 2: Ava that just opened on uh I think tenth Avenue.
Speaker 1: Great food you guys have.
Speaker 2: So Avra is very social. People like they're there to
Speaker 2: talk and mingle because they have huge bars. Any place
Speaker 2: as a huge bar is a place to go to.
Speaker 2: Remember the Agency bar, didn't you guys used to go
Speaker 2: to the Regency. I still go there, you do. And
Speaker 2: then you have Uptown if you like, you know, like
Speaker 2: I'm an Uptown girl. You have the crowded bar at Ilios.
Speaker 2: You know a lot of men go there.
Speaker 1: I love it there.
Speaker 2: Steak places are great to go to because theen like steak.
Speaker 1: Okay, I just know what the listeners are gonna want
Speaker 1: to know. So sorry I had to press you on
Speaker 1: that one. So all right. So have you ever Ramona
Speaker 1: been ghosted? I can't even imagine that, but.
Speaker 2: Oh that means when you.
Speaker 1: Somebody just didn't call you back.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Of course you don't think of course.
Speaker 2: No, no, I know this one guy. I mean actually
Speaker 2: I was thinking of this one guy recently. He's a
Speaker 2: really fun guy, nice guy, and I know he said like, Okay,
Speaker 2: let's go to dinner Sunday night, and I go okay,
Speaker 2: And then I remember I said to Okay, so what
Speaker 2: time are we going to dinner? And then he never
Speaker 2: answered back. But then the next week he called me
Speaker 2: and then we're still we're still friendly. We're just friends.
Speaker 2: We go out as friends, not like you know, there's
Speaker 2: nothing romantic there.
Speaker 1: So Gauys, I think that's so much about the fact
Speaker 1: because that you're fun like, I don't even even if
Speaker 1: the guy did'n't necessarily think that you're the one. Of
Speaker 1: course he's gonna want to go out with you again,
Speaker 1: because it's sort of what you said. You're just a
Speaker 1: positive force.
Speaker 2: You're funny, you're fun you know, ask a lot of questions,
Speaker 2: you know, don't talk. I mean I do talk a lot,
Speaker 2: but you have to ask the person with questions. People
Speaker 2: love talking about themselves, so you know, ask them some questions,
Speaker 2: you know, and be interested in them and getting to
Speaker 2: know them and It's just a good tool to use,
Speaker 2: you know, in life, to get you know, to listen
Speaker 2: to people.
Speaker 1: Agreed. It's a huge I think that's huge, actually, and
Speaker 1: I think that that's underrated. So, you know, on a
Speaker 1: first date or set, whatever it is, I think that's
Speaker 1: key because I think a lot of women, out of nervousness,
Speaker 1: maybe men too, will just start talking talking, talking about
Speaker 1: themselves as opposed to asking the questions and listening. All right,
Speaker 1: let's talk a little bit about beautiful Avery. What look
Speaker 1: at your face? Just lit up?
Speaker 2: I love my girls, I know. I was so excited.
Speaker 2: I'm leaving tomorrow for a wedding in Mexico. She's a
Speaker 2: bridesmaid of this girl who actually stayed with me during COVID.
Speaker 2: I took her in because her mom was stuck in
Speaker 2: New Jersey with her mother grandmother. Her dad was stuck
Speaker 2: in San Diego couldn't like, you know, fly because of
Speaker 2: his health issues. So she was all alone in this
Speaker 2: big apartment condo in Boca on the ocean, and I
Speaker 2: just took her in as my daughter, and she was
Speaker 2: with us for three months. Love it.
Speaker 1: So she's getting married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be with Avery and Avery has this
Speaker 2: fabulous business called Batch BAC.
Speaker 1: I was there at the Boss. I saw you there
Speaker 1: because I was there at the launch of that Batch Boss.
Speaker 1: That was me.
Speaker 2: She's so proud of her. She's some people, you know,
Speaker 2: like major people and bachelor bachelor's and now she's doing
Speaker 2: major birthday parcess your thirtieth birthday, you're fortieth or thirty fifth,
Speaker 2: or you know, girls, trip guys, guys.
Speaker 1: She helps. So Avery's company planned the party, planned the
Speaker 1: bachelorette party right right.
Speaker 2: But what she does is it's like soup to nuts
Speaker 2: because the big thing is to say, it's the money.
Speaker 2: You may have a budget that you can afford a
Speaker 2: thousand night. I may have a bunche of only two
Speaker 2: inndred night. So she'll say, what are you comfortable spending?
Speaker 2: So she takes salary. Yeah, So it's that way. She
Speaker 2: stands out a question here, what are you comfortable spending
Speaker 2: a night? Because you know everyone has different budgets and
Speaker 2: that's a sensitive question now. And then she collects the
Speaker 2: money and then she'll and she doesn't charge that much.
Speaker 2: I think she'd be charging more. But then and then
Speaker 2: but it's whatever she charges, it's worth it because she
Speaker 2: gets discounted all the hotels and the clubs, and it
Speaker 2: really does. And she gets not to stop fun. So
Speaker 2: she'll create the theme tonight's Scream with Envy, tomorrow's Pink
Speaker 2: with Passion Leopard night. She'll have all the services, all
Speaker 2: the swag, all the decor. She'll arrange the yacht or
Speaker 2: she'll say, okay, you you know the bride wants you smart.
Speaker 2: It's the yacht. But you know what, it's not in
Speaker 2: the budget for these girls. So you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: have your future husband pay, or your parents pay, or
Speaker 2: who's someone pay, but they can't. We can't put it
Speaker 2: in the budget. Right And then I know, I always
Speaker 2: I never experienced what she did until she had her
Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday party and rented the largest least the largest
Speaker 2: villa Intulom, which she does for bachelor and bachelor of parties.
Speaker 2: And I saw her in action, and you know, the
Speaker 2: drivers were there, and then the itinerary was there for
Speaker 2: every day, and there's the chefs and the bartenders and
Speaker 2: the food and she stocks the refrigerator from his favorite
Speaker 2: drinks and food and it.
Speaker 1: Was just an listen, listen, I when my daughter gets married,
Speaker 1: and I always say, fifty years from now, please, I'll
Speaker 1: be calling Avery. But the thing is, I want to know,
Speaker 1: in terms of you and Avery, what advice do you
Speaker 1: give her? So is she I don't know if she's
Speaker 1: single or not. Right now she's single, she's thirty, is single? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I always say to both my kids, I don't
Speaker 1: want them to get married until after thirty. That's was
Speaker 1: always my right for whatever reason. I just feel like,
Speaker 1: live and learn and get all of that out of
Speaker 1: your system and being single. But what advice do you
Speaker 1: give to Avery? You've been through it, so.
Speaker 2: Advance starts dating? I mean yeah, as far as looking
Speaker 2: for a guy, as far as she's very fussy, she
Speaker 2: knows exactly what she's looking for. Remember one time, because Mom,
Speaker 2: what'd you think of the guy I brought home? On paper?
Speaker 2: He looks great, right, but in person he's boring. I go,
Speaker 2: you're right, he was boring. I mean really handsome, graduated
Speaker 2: from a top college, top job, blah blah blah blah, tall,
Speaker 2: good looking, polite, but very like flat like flat.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So she knows exactly what she wants and she's gonna
Speaker 2: get what she wants.
Speaker 1: So do you give her anything specific? In terms of
Speaker 1: I still.
Speaker 2: Don't go out with so many girl And she said, oh, Mom,
Speaker 2: the other night, I followed your advice. I said, at
Speaker 2: the bar ordered food with my girlfriend with these guys
Speaker 2: next to us. We all went out after we did
Speaker 2: something else. After that we saw on the next day
Speaker 2: we all went out as a group. So she says,
Speaker 2: you're kind of right, mom, But she loves her girlfriends
Speaker 2: even more than I do. So she has just girlfriends
Speaker 2: all over, she said, she brought she has so many girlfriends.
Speaker 1: You don't tell her, like, listen a guy like this
Speaker 1: and no, like if he because I've done that to
Speaker 1: both my kids, right, like, like these are the things
Speaker 1: to watch out for.
Speaker 2: Well, I say to her, if a man doesn't like
Speaker 2: his mother, he's not he doesn't like women, So make
Speaker 2: sure he loves his mother unless.
Speaker 1: You're important, interesting, interesting, And.
Speaker 2: I tell her she's like me. We like to take
Speaker 2: control when you go out in a daycare, let the
Speaker 2: man take control. Can you be a little more softer,
Speaker 2: like let them order say okay, you know I'm gona
Speaker 2: have this for my meal, and him ordering, Can you
Speaker 2: order me a glass of weight wine please? I mean,
Speaker 2: men like to feel like men. You know, can you
Speaker 2: help me with this? Please? You know, let them feel
Speaker 2: like a man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just curious you want to get married again?
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I know you're living your best life.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I like being in a relationship.
Speaker 2: I like being monogamous. I don't know. That's a very
Speaker 2: interesting question. I don't know how to answer that. I
Speaker 2: say never, say never. So who need to be open
Speaker 2: to it? Who knows? Okay?
Speaker 1: All right, it's a really good place to be where
Speaker 1: you don't feel that you have to get married or
Speaker 1: need to get married, right.
Speaker 2: I mean I already I'm financially independent. Yep, I already
Speaker 2: have my children my child right, so there's no need
Speaker 2: for me to get married.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Would I like to have a life partner? I'd rather say,
Speaker 2: like a life partner? How's that? A life partner? Love it?
Speaker 1: It's like being married without being married, right, Goldiehan and
Speaker 1: it committed relationship absolutely right.
Speaker 2: I'm like a Goldie hon you really are? I always
Speaker 2: commier myself more to commit Aaron DZ.
Speaker 1: All right, So I can't help, but I have to
Speaker 1: ask you a little bit about reality TV. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to ask you about a Rony reboot, because I
Speaker 1: feel like everyone asks you about that, But would you
Speaker 1: go back to reality TV for short stints?
Speaker 2: Like I would not want a film for four months
Speaker 2: straight because I love my life and I think that's
Speaker 2: one of the reasons why I look good because I'm
Speaker 2: not stressed. No one realizes how difficult reality TV is.
Speaker 2: It takes a lot of stress. Yeah, because because I'm
Speaker 2: so unfiltered and I'm so open with my face expressions,
Speaker 2: I'm always being I was always being attacked because you know,
Speaker 2: attack ramone and you'll get more screen time and you'll
Speaker 2: get a reaction. So it's very It was very stressful.
Speaker 2: It really wasn't being in the press getting negativity from
Speaker 2: the press that wasn't true. That was very painful to me.
Speaker 2: So now I look good because I'm really happy. I
Speaker 2: have no stress. So I would love to do something
Speaker 2: like a two week gig, a three week gig, maybe Traders,
Speaker 2: maybe something else. I don't know, but like a short gig.
Speaker 2: You know, I love I did the Ultimate Girls Trip
Speaker 2: that was like perfect five days, four days. That was wonderful.
Speaker 1: I see it one hundred percent. I see you doing
Speaker 1: all of that trade like any kind of a spinoff,
Speaker 1: Ultimate Girls Trip. All right, what about the Love Hotel?
Speaker 1: What is it the Love Hotel, the One oh No,
Speaker 1: or the Golden Bachelorette, any of that.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the then you force. I don't know, because
Speaker 2: that forces you to be with men, to have a
Speaker 2: relationship with and you have to start maybe kissing them,
Speaker 2: And I don't know, And I don't think that's for me.
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, they never asked. I can't believe they never
Speaker 1: asked you to do Love Hotel.
Speaker 2: Huh, that's not they know. It's not for me, you know,
Speaker 2: for you it's a great show. Yes, I think Delanne
Speaker 2: did do it, and she's just great out of it.
Speaker 2: It's just not for me.
Speaker 1: Right, Is there anything in the works in terms of anything?
Speaker 1: You never know, You never know. That's my coy girl. So,
Speaker 1: speaking of Ronnie, I did hear also that there's a
Speaker 1: group chat that goes on you guys still have.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're all we're genuine friends. Right, who's in it?
Speaker 1: Who's not?
Speaker 2: We're all in it all.
Speaker 1: Does Bethany in it? I mean, well, no, of course
Speaker 1: Bethany obviously not.
Speaker 2: Come. Yes, yes, Bethany's her own her own island very well. Said,
Speaker 2: I mean, Bethany's a lovely girl, but she likes doing Bethany.
Speaker 1: I think she's a lovely girl.
Speaker 2: Really, what do you want me to say?
Speaker 1: I don't know she can say she can she's a
Speaker 1: lovely okayends on the day.
Speaker 2: I say she's like a cat. You don't know if
Speaker 2: she's gonna scratch your eyes out of prep next to you,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to get that closed anyway, Like
Speaker 1: who's who's the of all your former cast members, who's
Speaker 1: the last one you spoke to? Because I know people
Speaker 1: want to know this.
Speaker 2: Well, No, I speak to Luyne a lot. Lewayne and
Speaker 2: I are closed because she lives in the Hampton. She
Speaker 2: lives in New York. You know, she lives in my
Speaker 2: daughter's building. Oh okay, and that's two blocks from me.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of remember I dropped off shoes at
Speaker 1: you're building? Yes, right, yeah? Yeah? What else can you
Speaker 1: tell our listeners? My friend is there. In terms of advice,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you guys whatever Ramona's doing.
Speaker 2: Oh, finances, because no one knows about finance. This is
Speaker 2: actually on my way over. I'm with someone who helps
Speaker 2: me out with my social media and other things. And
Speaker 2: he said, I don't know what to do with my money. Oh,
Speaker 2: you're young. Put it in the SP five hundreds. All
Speaker 2: you have to do. Put it with Fidelity. They don't
Speaker 2: have any fees. Said, or if you want to do
Speaker 2: something a little riskier, take the top five stocks they
Speaker 2: made like they like in the past five years. They
Speaker 2: went from like if you put ten thousand and they
Speaker 2: went to like two hundred thousand. That's riskier. Or I
Speaker 2: would do half half in the top seven stocks and
Speaker 2: half in the S and P five hundred and put
Speaker 2: in Fidelity. And you're dous right. Every month put in
Speaker 2: two hundred, one hundred, three hundred, because that's what you
Speaker 2: need to do.
Speaker 1: Write it down. I'm telling you guys, whatever Ramona's doing,
Speaker 1: she is doing it right. I have a last question
Speaker 1: for you. Do you ever think of changing your last name? No, well,
Speaker 1: your Ramona sing her. I feel like you're an icon, so.
Speaker 2: There's no reason. I know a lot of women after
Speaker 2: they get divorced, they put their name back to the
Speaker 2: maiden name, but no, it switched work. Yeah, and also
Speaker 2: I have my maiden name name, so my name is Ramona.
Speaker 1: Missour singer. Okay, yeah, I can't. I'm glad that you
Speaker 1: never did. I feel like it kind of goes well.
Speaker 2: Ramona's singer versus Ramona Massaur ramota singer sounds better.
Speaker 1: Agreed, I was Jennifer Gutterman, which I just hated. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like that horrible gutterface although j terrible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like fesslor much. Anyway, Thank you so much, thank
Speaker 1: you coming in. We love you, we adore you. Please
Speaker 1: come back absolutely, because you have a lot of good advice.
Speaker 1: I feel like we've only sort of scraped stretched the surface. Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, guys, So Romona, it's just it's been a blast.
Speaker 1: You are thriving, and we're so happy.
Speaker 2: To hear it.
Speaker 1: As anybody out there started dating again but not having
Speaker 1: much luck. We are here to help you, guys, so
Speaker 1: call or email us. All the info is in the
Speaker 1: show notes, follow us on socials, make sure your rate
Speaker 1: and review the podcast I do Part two and iHeart
Speaker 1: podcasts where falling in love is the main objective.