1
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,160
Speaker 1: Hi guys, it's your I Do Part two celebrity mentor

2
00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,200
Speaker 1: Jen Fessler, and today I am so excited because I

3
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,439
Speaker 1: get to share the mic with a legend an icon

4
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,640
Speaker 1: in reality TV. She's in her I Do Part two

5
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 1: era and I cannot wait to dive in with her today.

6
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,000
Speaker 1: You guys know her from the Real Housewives of New York.

7
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,199
Speaker 1: She's the author of Life on the Ramona Coaster. It

8
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,280
Speaker 1: is Ramona Singer.

9
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,360
Speaker 2: Hi, Jen, I am so excited. I am so excited.

10
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,720
Speaker 1: I so Ramona and I just for the listeners, we

11
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,000
Speaker 1: go back a little ways, right, we know each other

12
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:47,440
Speaker 1: for a bit.

13
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,400
Speaker 2: Well. I love the fact that you make these great

14
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,720
Speaker 2: comfortable shoes. Yes, major, f major, thank you. I actually

15
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,840
Speaker 2: got it right. Yeah, I really want to get something right.

16
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,480
Speaker 2: I know the name.

17
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,880
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, we know that you get a lot right.

18
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,760
Speaker 1: But you guys, I just quickly we want to just

19
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,160
Speaker 1: let you know, Ramona and our listeners. I've been a

20
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,760
Speaker 1: fan for so many years. It is and I know

21
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,800
Speaker 1: we've met before, but this is quite the thrill. So

22
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 1: you guys, let's let's talk to Romona about everything Part two.

23
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,280
Speaker 1: But I hope we can just kind of start with

24
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,600
Speaker 1: Part one, okay, whatever you like to gym. Okay, well,

25
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,200
Speaker 1: I would love to talk for the audience who doesn't

26
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,160
Speaker 1: know about you, know, your love and relationship backstory. Can

27
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit about how you and

28
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 1: your ex husband Mario met, how long you guys were married.

29
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,680
Speaker 1: I mean, so many people followed you on the show.

30
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 1: What a gorgeous couple. But just tell us a little

31
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,640
Speaker 1: bit about how you guys met and how it all started.

32
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,800
Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's say that was probably what I

33
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,200
Speaker 2: met him. Let's say we were married in nineteen ninety two,

34
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,240
Speaker 2: so I met him in the late eighties, and that

35
00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,320
Speaker 2: was when you could meet men. Okay, I know today

36
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,680
Speaker 2: everyone has a problem meeting men. Then you'd meet men

37
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,960
Speaker 2: like drop fruit, hanging fruit at the gym because no

38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 2: one was wearing that hair pod. The vertical club. The

39
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,000
Speaker 2: vertical club, hell, you've got effect. Every boyfriend I had

40
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,520
Speaker 2: was in the vertical club. And the wildest thing is

41
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,600
Speaker 2: wherever I went to i'd be an aspen a guy

42
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 2: say me, you're from the vertical club, right, I've been

43
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 2: trying to talk to you for the past like three months.

44
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,519
Speaker 2: You never look at me. And anyway, that's how I

45
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 2: met my ex husband. You met him at the vertical club? Yes,

46
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 2: but about how good am I? Yeah? Babe?

47
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:15,160
Speaker 1: God?

48
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 2: But outside the vertical club. So I'm at the hot

49
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:21,640
Speaker 2: restaurant called chowd Bella. It was like kitchen, it was

50
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,120
Speaker 2: like the popular place. And he was standing next to

51
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,679
Speaker 2: me and I see this good looking guy and he

52
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 2: looks at me and he says, you work out at

53
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,399
Speaker 2: the vertical club, don't you. I go, yeah, he goes,

54
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,120
Speaker 2: and you wear that little black G string with the

55
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:35,080
Speaker 2: green ruffle. Everyone's wearing g strings then, but with like

56
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,160
Speaker 2: I had a little acid green ruffle, and at that

57
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:44,120
Speaker 2: caught his eye right my butt and then what he asked? Well,

58
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 2: we then we went out, but I had just broken

59
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,000
Speaker 2: up with the guy I was engaged with, and the

60
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,079
Speaker 2: whole date I was talking about the Ring, the Ring,

61
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,600
Speaker 2: the Ring. Never talk about x's on your days. I

62
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,880
Speaker 2: know that. Now is the rule? Why it worked? No,

63
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,880
Speaker 2: it didn't because we broke up for a year. Wait,

64
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 2: you and Mario broke up for a year. Yeah, and

65
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,280
Speaker 2: then I got engaged to somebody else, So I only

66
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,119
Speaker 2: went out on one date.

67
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,640
Speaker 1: Hold on, so you went out with Mario?

68
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,160
Speaker 2: Okay? We had what? Okay with Wow, we had we

69
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:14,000
Speaker 2: had one. We had a date and and that was

70
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,560
Speaker 2: and then he was take me out that weekend, and

71
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,040
Speaker 2: it was a Saturday. He was, I'm gonna call you.

72
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you on my boat, take a change

73
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 2: of clothing, and blah blah blah blah blah. So I'm

74
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,519
Speaker 2: waiting by the phone, and you know, we didn't have

75
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,800
Speaker 2: cell phones then, and it's like now eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock.

76
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,400
Speaker 2: I go, you know what, that asshole is probably with

77
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 2: some other girl. You know, I'm calling him up. And

78
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,920
Speaker 2: I called him up, but he says, oh, I'm not

79
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,200
Speaker 2: feeling well and I'm just calling bullsh myself to him.

80
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,760
Speaker 2: And then a few days later he calls me on

81
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,160
Speaker 2: my answering machine and he says, Hey, it's Mario. Call me.

82
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know what about Hey, it's Mario.

83
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,120
Speaker 2: I'm starting to get to see you. I'd like to

84
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 2: see you again. And his version was like that girl

85
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 2: never called me to check up on me if I

86
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 2: was sick or not. So we never went out again,

87
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,960
Speaker 2: and I got engaged to somebody else, and I'd always

88
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 2: see Mario at the gym and we'd flirt and he

89
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,800
Speaker 2: said we should go out. I go, I can't go

90
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 2: out with you. I'm engaged and my fiance doesn't know you.

91
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 2: And then the day I broke up with my fiance

92
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,200
Speaker 2: and I moved back into my apartment, the phone rang,

93
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,120
Speaker 2: I go, who could be calling me? No one knows

94
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,720
Speaker 2: i'm here. I just found out i'm here. And he said,

95
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,080
Speaker 2: it's Mario, and I think we should. You know, I'd

96
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,119
Speaker 2: like to see what your status is. And I go, funny,

97
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 2: you should ask me. I just broke off my engagement.

98
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,400
Speaker 2: It's fine, let's go out. Oh my god, I said,

99
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,160
Speaker 2: I'm not ready to go out of this story.

100
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,160
Speaker 1: See, I'm sorry. I have this whole thing about playing

101
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,240
Speaker 1: a little hard to get I kind of. I mean,

102
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,680
Speaker 1: some people think don't play games. But like the way

103
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,039
Speaker 1: you just describe this, like you were not and these

104
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,080
Speaker 1: I know you listeners if you watch a show not

105
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,640
Speaker 1: they were a gorgeous couple. He's a tall, very handsome man.

106
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. People use a mistakeme as an older version of

107
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,680
Speaker 2: John Kennedy junior.

108
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,000
Speaker 1: Oh, I can see that. I can absolutely see that.

109
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,640
Speaker 1: So but you like you were you remoaned him, you

110
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,159
Speaker 1: were not kissing his ass.

111
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,479
Speaker 2: I love it. But then we went out and I

112
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,919
Speaker 2: broke up with him again, really yeah, And then we

113
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,960
Speaker 2: got back together again and we got engaged and married

114
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 2: in twenty two years, right yeah, and we had a

115
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,720
Speaker 2: beautiful marriage until it wasn't. I would if I had

116
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,440
Speaker 2: to do it all over again, I would. You said

117
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 2: that to me.

118
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,320
Speaker 1: You've said that to me, which I love, because I've

119
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,800
Speaker 1: made plenty of mistakes in my life and I think

120
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,760
Speaker 1: I would not enjoy doing them over again. But they

121
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: got me to where I am now, so you know,

122
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 1: worth it sort of. But anyway, okay, you guys were

123
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,799
Speaker 1: married twenty two years. Tell us a little bit about

124
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,039
Speaker 1: when you knew it was time to actually, you know,

125
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:21,839
Speaker 1: pull the plug.

126
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,520
Speaker 2: And well, I found out my ex was cheating on

127
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,640
Speaker 2: me with this horrible girl. But when I remember going

128
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 2: to my therapist and he said, you have to realize

129
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,640
Speaker 2: this is before I know he's having an affair, that

130
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,080
Speaker 2: he's having a midlife crisis. And I started laughing. She was,

131
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 2: don't laugh. This is a serious thing, and he was.

132
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,960
Speaker 2: And most of my friends thought as soon as I

133
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,359
Speaker 2: found out he was cheating on me, I'd be so

134
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 2: out the door, but I said, you know, you can't

135
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,039
Speaker 2: you can't really figure out what someone's going to do

136
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,919
Speaker 2: if you're not living in their shoes. And I believed

137
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,360
Speaker 2: in marriage. I believed in our relationship. I believed he

138
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,640
Speaker 2: was going through something, and I believe maybe we can

139
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,360
Speaker 2: work through this. And after one year of trying, I

140
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,280
Speaker 2: realized I couldn't make it work. Because I don't know

141
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,120
Speaker 2: if someone gave me this advice, but I think the

142
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,240
Speaker 2: best advice is you never leave a situation, whether it's

143
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:10,479
Speaker 2: a friendship, a lover, a job, anything you're doing until

144
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,800
Speaker 2: you're absolutely sure, because you die. I have to tell

145
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:13,960
Speaker 2: you that.

146
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,719
Speaker 1: It's very interesting because they say that you know it's

147
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 1: right to get divorced, when it just nothing matters. It

148
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,279
Speaker 1: doesn't matter about the money. You don't give a because

149
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,880
Speaker 1: divorce is hard. You don't care about the money, not

150
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,520
Speaker 1: that you certainly care about the kids, but you just

151
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,920
Speaker 1: feel like, listen, this is something that I absolutely have

152
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,440
Speaker 1: to do. It's such a trauma and I don't think

153
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 1: I've ever shared with you, Ramona, but I actually was separated.

154
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,560
Speaker 1: I also my husband also had an affair. We were

155
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,520
Speaker 1: separated for like a year and a half, and like you,

156
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:48,120
Speaker 1: I was you know, I was able to forgive him.

157
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,640
Speaker 1: I mean, we had this year and a half that

158
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,120
Speaker 1: was crazy, and I kind of made it up so

159
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,240
Speaker 1: to it like I.

160
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,640
Speaker 2: Was, I know, I get a few flings on your side, Yes,

161
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,279
Speaker 2: definitely so so, but but you know, it's hard. Divorce

162
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,320
Speaker 2: is a bit. It's like losing your arm. I felt

163
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,800
Speaker 2: like I was losing my arm. Yeah, you know. And

164
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,920
Speaker 2: when you're in a really good marriage after a while,

165
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,720
Speaker 2: it's like it's like a comfortable shoe, you know, it's

166
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,160
Speaker 2: just corrafortable and agree. I have no family, you know,

167
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,080
Speaker 2: And I remember he went he was pushing for the

168
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,560
Speaker 2: divorce really and I still, you know, and it was

169
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 2: just and then we tried to recommend it was it

170
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 2: was tough. It was the toughest thing, and I lost

171
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,200
Speaker 2: so much weight. I remember visiting my daughter at college.

172
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,760
Speaker 2: I wasn't telling her that he was having the affair

173
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,280
Speaker 2: then or anything, and she was, Mommy, what's wrong with you?

174
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,840
Speaker 2: I was emaciated, and I said, I have to flu,

175
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,480
Speaker 2: you know, And I was covering for him.

176
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow. I mean, it's so funny because I didn't

177
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,400
Speaker 1: tell my kids either until they were I mean, I

178
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,200
Speaker 1: never sat them down and told them, but they kind

179
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 1: of figured it out also because I went on Jersey

180
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,600
Speaker 1: and talked about it there. But before, I mean, they

181
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,080
Speaker 1: knew before that. But it's an interesting thing because I

182
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,520
Speaker 1: always wanted to protect them, you know, and they have

183
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 1: a great dad. He's wonderful and we're back together. So anyway, now.

184
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,679
Speaker 2: Now everyone was some good, really good advice. It doesn't

185
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 2: work well to hold onto anger on your ex. I

186
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,960
Speaker 2: remember when I was going to a therapist. I was

187
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,560
Speaker 2: convincing my daughter to make up with my ex husband

188
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,600
Speaker 2: because she went and forgive them. And my therapist said,

189
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,680
Speaker 2: who are you. No women do that. They're thrilled when

190
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,720
Speaker 2: their kids don't want to talk to their spouse, like,

191
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 2: oh no, she needs to have a relationship. And you know,

192
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:13,120
Speaker 2: it just creates angst and anger and aggravation, and you

193
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 2: know what, we're like best friends.

194
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 1: Now, you know. It's so it's just everything you're saying

195
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,480
Speaker 1: resonates with me. Again. I mean, I Jeff and I

196
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,320
Speaker 1: ended up getting back together, but I was so I

197
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 1: think part of it was because even when we were separated,

198
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 1: like my daughter would call and you know, try to

199
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,360
Speaker 1: bad mouth him. Daddy's doing this. I was like, honey,

200
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,600
Speaker 1: you dialed the wrong number. Don't call me to bad

201
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,719
Speaker 1: mouth Jeff Fessler. Okay, he's the bad and I think

202
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,120
Speaker 1: that was so great for them, so I think it's

203
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,920
Speaker 1: very important. Yeah, So, okay, I want to talk about

204
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 1: something called gray divorce. Have you heard of this? No?

205
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,199
Speaker 2: I really haven't, so please educate me.

206
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,480
Speaker 1: Okay, I hadn't heard of it either until very recently.

207
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:56,440
Speaker 1: Apparently couples are splitting up after long marriages. So like

208
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,800
Speaker 1: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, right, they were together for

209
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 1: like nineteen years, and of course, like everything else, they

210
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,960
Speaker 1: have to give a term to describe it or whatever

211
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,079
Speaker 1: saying to describe it. And it's a great divorce when

212
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,200
Speaker 1: you have a long term marriage and you get divorced,

213
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,600
Speaker 1: like after around fifty So apparently it's on the rise.

214
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,199
Speaker 1: And I don't know why that is.

215
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 2: Why would you think, well, your call, oh because they

216
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,360
Speaker 2: have gray hair?

217
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,439
Speaker 1: You mean, I know, which I actually it's kind of offensive, right, Okay,

218
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,120
Speaker 1: don't because that actually happens a lot of people get

219
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 1: divorced once the kids go to college, like you know,

220
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,640
Speaker 1: and that's actually what happened with my excuisband.

221
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,880
Speaker 2: Once my daughter's going to college, people start re examining

222
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,800
Speaker 2: the relationship. Do we have anything in common? I actually

223
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,800
Speaker 2: I had dinner with this woman who's a therapist, said,

224
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,120
Speaker 2: this couple came in. The man said, I'll stay married

225
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,600
Speaker 2: to you, but I want to be with other women.

226
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,439
Speaker 2: And she didn't want to leave the marriage and leave

227
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,560
Speaker 2: her life. And she says, okay, she accepted that. So people,

228
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,760
Speaker 2: I think we're all living longer. We're married longer.

229
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 1: So that's actually what Yeah, I mean, I've been reading

230
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,600
Speaker 1: about grade divorce and they say a lot. They talk

231
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,440
Speaker 1: a lot about the fact.

232
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,079
Speaker 2: That people there's sixties have hout. People in their seventies

233
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 2: are getting divorced together for thirty forty years correct, yep.

234
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,360
Speaker 1: So they say that like this, our demographic over fifty

235
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,319
Speaker 1: is actually calling it quits more often, like baby boomers

236
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,520
Speaker 1: and older adults like are three times more likely to

237
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,520
Speaker 1: be divorced than they were in the nineteen nineties. So

238
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a study by Bowling Green State University,

239
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,120
Speaker 1: and the trend of getting divorced after fifty has whatever

240
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,160
Speaker 1: been nicknamed gray divorce.

241
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,360
Speaker 2: But because the kids are probably I would imagine the

242
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,760
Speaker 2: statistic that they're saying that kids are in college. Yeah,

243
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,200
Speaker 2: and now people are you know, they're rethinking their life. Okay,

244
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,480
Speaker 2: my kids are in college, they're taken care of. Is

245
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,360
Speaker 2: this really what I want from my life? I also

246
00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:34,080
Speaker 2: thirty year.

247
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,000
Speaker 1: People, I know people are lily like having affairs and

248
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 1: they were like, well, I'm going to stay with him.

249
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,520
Speaker 1: That was always or I heard like friends of mine

250
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 1: who are whatever having an affair and the guy would say,

251
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for the kids to be in college

252
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,640
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna leave. There was a lot of that. Sure,

253
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,640
Speaker 1: lots of times it didn't happen, but yeah, I think

254
00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,600
Speaker 1: it's I think it's interesting. So what do you think

255
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:58,480
Speaker 1: is one thing that people don't anticipate about marriage? Like,

256
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,880
Speaker 1: you know, you and Mario, at least as a viewer,

257
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,320
Speaker 1: you just looked like the perfect couple.

258
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 2: Now, we were very male in love, that we were

259
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,559
Speaker 2: already divorced, and during COVID all my girlfriends would save me. Okay,

260
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,520
Speaker 2: you must have been making love to Mario. You must

261
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 2: have had sex with at least once, because our sexual

262
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,440
Speaker 2: energy was so intent. I mean you could see it,

263
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,840
Speaker 2: you could touch it, right, which just our chemistry was great.

264
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,200
Speaker 1: Right.

265
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,120
Speaker 2: But I think you know what people don't realize in marriage?

266
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 2: That you know, a lot of times they get married

267
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,000
Speaker 2: for the site, sexual attraction or whatever it may be.

268
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,640
Speaker 2: But it's really important. You have to have the same

269
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,640
Speaker 2: goals and morals in life. You have to think about

270
00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,600
Speaker 2: money the same way. You know, if someone's a big

271
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,319
Speaker 2: spender and you don't want to spend, that's going to

272
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 2: be a problem. You know, you have to have some

273
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:39,120
Speaker 2: similar philosophy with raising children. You have to have common values.

274
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,880
Speaker 2: If you don't have common values, it's gonna really you know.

275
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,599
Speaker 1: I always say that because although it doesn't seem like

276
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,960
Speaker 1: it with you and Mario, but I feel like so

277
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,600
Speaker 1: often the spark that people talk about, right, that initial

278
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,480
Speaker 1: attraction and.

279
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,920
Speaker 2: Sparks, it never went away. If yeah, well in vary.

280
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,439
Speaker 1: I mean, at least from what I know and the

281
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 1: people I've spoke to you, that's very unusual.

282
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,360
Speaker 2: My therapist told me that when first this is before

283
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,199
Speaker 2: you even do that unfair. I questioned my marriage when

284
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,640
Speaker 2: my mother died, and she says, you know, I was

285
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,439
Speaker 2: only in my I think I was in my early

286
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,240
Speaker 2: for fifty cent maybe late forties, and that you're thinking

287
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 2: about your life and your marriage because your mother died.

288
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,760
Speaker 2: He thking about earlier she goes, tell me about your

289
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,320
Speaker 2: sex life. Igo, We have a great sex life. We

290
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,160
Speaker 2: make love like three four times in weekses, are you

291
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,800
Speaker 2: kidding me? Just most couples. I stop after two three years,

292
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 2: I go, are you kidding me? So all of a sudden,

293
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,840
Speaker 2: this because I love sex, I love making less, I said, Okay,

294
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,880
Speaker 2: I'm sticking with this guy.

295
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Well, I honestly like I think that the

296
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,120
Speaker 1: part you when you were talking about having common values

297
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 1: as well, that's so important. Do you feel like you're

298
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,320
Speaker 1: the common values you had with Mario changed? I mean,

299
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,240
Speaker 1: obviously the attraction, the physical attraction didn't.

300
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,040
Speaker 2: But my ex husban I don't really talk about him much.

301
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,760
Speaker 2: He first of all, he gets very depressed. And when

302
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,959
Speaker 2: he gets depressed, he gets a bedridden and that's very

303
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,600
Speaker 2: difficult to handle and hard. I'm a very positive person.

304
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,000
Speaker 2: I look at the glasses half full, this is half empty.

305
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,600
Speaker 1: So he had like clinical depression.

306
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,640
Speaker 2: So I would have to always like I didn't know

307
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,120
Speaker 2: when he's coming through the door, is gonna be happy

308
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,360
Speaker 2: or sad, you know, And that was a lot of

309
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,480
Speaker 2: pressure on me, Like I had to just always keep

310
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,720
Speaker 2: him happy. That was tough that, you know, And that

311
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,920
Speaker 2: happened in our later years of our marriage, not in

312
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:04,400
Speaker 2: the beginning.

313
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,080
Speaker 1: It sounds like though even at the end it wasn't you.

314
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,160
Speaker 1: You describe it at least as it really wasn't you,

315
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,920
Speaker 1: like you would have gone on like that, you know,

316
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: no act.

317
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,319
Speaker 2: And he wasn't happy with his career. He never liked

318
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 2: his career when we were he had his own company,

319
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 2: and when he when I was first marriage, so I said, listen,

320
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,320
Speaker 2: if you don't like what you do, do something else.

321
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,440
Speaker 2: And then his business was failing and he goes, look,

322
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,800
Speaker 2: all our friends are so successful, and you know, look

323
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,080
Speaker 2: at me. And I said, so do something else. He's like,

324
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,200
Speaker 2: I said, well, you know you like cars, so why

325
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 2: don't you like buy old cars, refurbish them and and

326
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 2: do it. And he's like, well, I don't know how

327
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,559
Speaker 2: to do it. We'll just figure it out, because that's

328
00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:38,880
Speaker 2: what I read you, right, because well, I'm not like you.

329
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,760
Speaker 2: I don't know how to reinvent myself. So right, he

330
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,520
Speaker 2: just wanted to just pack his bags and move to

331
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,520
Speaker 2: Florida permanently. And I go, I'm not moving to Florida

332
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 2: perman This is.

333
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:45,880
Speaker 1: Why when you're on the show.

334
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, he wanted to just like just.

335
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 1: Didn't like doing the show.

336
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 2: By the way, he liked it in the beginning, and

337
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 2: then he didn't like when I got all the attention.

338
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,240
Speaker 2: You know, in the beginning, he'd be the one to

339
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,960
Speaker 2: take the photo because I never was like one to

340
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,240
Speaker 2: like photos. I don't, you know, people get the world idea.

341
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,800
Speaker 2: They Okay, I loved doing the show because number one,

342
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:05,440
Speaker 2: I had fun doing it. I enjoyed doing it. I

343
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 2: was good at it, and I enjoyed making the money,

344
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 2: and it was like something different for me. Yes, what

345
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,520
Speaker 2: I did like, which is like kind of a paradox.

346
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,800
Speaker 2: I didn't like the attention. I didn't like being written

347
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 2: up in the press. I never wanted to sit at

348
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,160
Speaker 2: the front of the restaurant people come over to me

349
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 2: and give me all that a duration. I didn't like, Wow,

350
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,720
Speaker 2: are you guys? I mean this made me uncomfortable, so

351
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 2: made very I know.

352
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,640
Speaker 1: You, guys, our listeners, if you're surprised to hear that,

353
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,000
Speaker 1: but I am very surprised to hear that because your personality,

354
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,840
Speaker 1: you're such an extrovert, and at least on the show,

355
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,440
Speaker 1: you were always at the center of everything you have.

356
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,160
Speaker 1: You're certainly not a shrinking violence.

357
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,360
Speaker 2: No, I'm very sorry. People are everything to me, right,

358
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 2: but I don't like strangers interrupting my conversation with you.

359
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,840
Speaker 2: And I remember before people did selfies. I remember going

360
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 2: to the wine festival in Newport in Nantucket and these

361
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,680
Speaker 2: people come over. Can I take a phone? They go,

362
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:52,840
Speaker 2: I don't like to take it again, I don't like

363
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,480
Speaker 2: the funk. Can we take it? And then, thank God

364
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 2: for selfies? Just take a quick selfie or I'd be

365
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,720
Speaker 2: in a restaurant. I'd be gracious to take one photo.

366
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 2: Then twenty people come over. And I like my life

367
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,400
Speaker 2: apart me. Even my ex husband said, you know, we

368
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 2: have a life with the TV. We have our life

369
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 2: apart my friends. Never changed. I was never you know,

370
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 2: I'm very consistent to who I am. I looked at

371
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 2: as a separate life and as a business and I didn't,

372
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 2: you know, and some people like, I'll tell her right,

373
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,080
Speaker 2: she knows it, like jill' zarren, she would. She didn't

374
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 2: know how to divide the two her. Her her social

375
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,400
Speaker 2: life was her her TV life. She got to separate

376
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,640
Speaker 2: the two, right. I had a total separation. Yeah, yeah,

377
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 2: my church.

378
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: And state like church and state. Let's get back to

379
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 1: the whole second part of your second right. Okay, Well,

380
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 1: first tell me what you learned about yourself going through divorce,

381
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 1: because we are going to get to our part too.

382
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,800
Speaker 1: But going through it, do you feel like you discovered

383
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 1: things about yourself? Did you find it in her strength?

384
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:55,600
Speaker 1: Did you feel like.

385
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,560
Speaker 2: It was very It was the toughest time of my life.

386
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 2: I remember like people would like write to me, how

387
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,840
Speaker 2: you're getting through this, and I say, you just take

388
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 2: it one step at a time. I would just make

389
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,320
Speaker 2: sure i'd wake up in the morning, put my sneakers on,

390
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 2: put some you know, workout clothes on, and I go

391
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 2: out and just take a walk, get out in that

392
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 2: fresh air and just do something physical, because that's good

393
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 2: for your mind. I would I would meditate positive things.

394
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 2: I love this Polynesian Spa. It's a tape and well

395
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 2: I know what you call it now, a CD. You can

396
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: get on spot You can get it on Spotify. Right,

397
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 2: it's the sound of waves and music, no.

398
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 1: Words, let me write it down Polynesian spot No, it's incredible.

399
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:29,880
Speaker 1: I love that.

400
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually I use it a lot. When my ex

401
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 2: husband was very depressed. My girlfriend's lay down light a

402
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,400
Speaker 2: candle and it would just help lighten me up because

403
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,080
Speaker 2: I'm a person where I take the energy from people.

404
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,280
Speaker 2: That's why I like being social, That's why I like

405
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: having friends.

406
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 1: I call it you're an mpath. You're an mpath sort

407
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 1: of like in other words, isn't that right? Where you

408
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 1: take somebody else's energy.

409
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 2: I don't know, I get energy. I give them energy too.

410
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 2: I mean, my friend's like, what do you mean you

411
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 2: can't come to this lunch? What do you mean you

412
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 2: can't come to the slide? You bring the energy, but

413
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 2: I bring the energy because they give me the energy

414
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 2: to give them the energy, right, you know, right? I

415
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 2: mean my therapist say, well, who cares if your husband's depressed,

416
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 2: just go to another room. But no, he's sucking the

417
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,479
Speaker 2: energy out of me. He's making me depress because he's depressed.

418
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:09,719
Speaker 2: You know.

419
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,119
Speaker 1: See, that was the sort of the opposite. So I

420
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 1: think Jeff and I we lost that spark, but we

421
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 1: always had the other parts of our marriage, the parts

422
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 1: that you were describing in terms of similar values and

423
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,880
Speaker 1: like we were just best friends. It was always easy

424
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 1: with him and it still is to this very natural. Yes,

425
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,359
Speaker 1: it sounds like you guys were so attracted to each other,

426
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 1: but there was that sort of chaos.

427
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,680
Speaker 2: Well, he wanted to know as we wanted the same

428
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 2: things in the beginning, you know, with the New York City,

429
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: a beautiful apartment, the Southampton house, social actifications. But then

430
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 2: as he was nearing sixty, he really hated what he

431
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 2: was doing and he wasn't feeling good about himself. You know,

432
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,639
Speaker 2: you can't love someone unless you love yourself first. You

433
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 2: can't feel good about somebody else unless you feel good

434
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 2: about himself. He wasn't feeling good about himself, and he

435
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 2: just wanted to escape and just move to Florida, right,

436
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm too young to pack it.

437
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,359
Speaker 1: I save a lot of lot of bidlife crisis men

438
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 1: have the uh, let's move to Florida thing for whatever reason.

439
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, all right, what advice Ramona, would you give

440
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 1: to someone listening who is just like in the thick

441
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,239
Speaker 1: of it, in the hard part of divorce, is there

442
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 1: anything that you could.

443
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 2: Get it over as fast as you can? I know

444
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,680
Speaker 2: I actually had to give my ex husband more money

445
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: than I should have, but I didn't give a shit

446
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 2: because you know, so what's an extra half a million million?

447
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: You know it sounds. Your mental health is most important,

448
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 2: because if you drag it out and fight. I mean,

449
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,440
Speaker 2: I remember his mother gives me some really gorgeous, gorgeous

450
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,679
Speaker 2: Buccilotti jewelry, and all of a sudden he wanted it

451
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 2: all back again. And my doors said, who cares about

452
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 2: the jewelry? I don't just just give it? But who

453
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 2: would ask for that back? Oh? He was just crazy.

454
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 2: So the point is you just have to just just

455
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 2: end it fast. It's like cut off the band aid,

456
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 2: you know, because it can you know, otherwise it can

457
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,439
Speaker 2: go on for years and months, and the lawyers just

458
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 2: make all the money. So you're better off just cutting

459
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,320
Speaker 2: it and making a quick settlement and just move I mean,

460
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 2: once we decided to get divorced, we got divorced in

461
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:55,879
Speaker 2: thirty days.

462
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: Come on, yeah, thirty days. Wow, you guys really didn't

463
00:18:59,640 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 1: you had?

464
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 2: We just wanted to move on. We want to waste

465
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 2: the money, spend hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars

466
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 2: on the line.

467
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: I just split everything up so quickly. No prenup, I

468
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: assume no, no, right, how did you do that? Well?

469
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: Listen, I gave up the building. He sold the building

470
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 2: for a million and a half dollars. I was supposed

471
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 2: to get half of that, but I gave it up

472
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,960
Speaker 2: a lot of money to give up. I find more

473
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: money in his checking it in his savings than I did,

474
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: because I paid all cash for the house in the

475
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 2: Hamptons and paid up the mortgage. But he still was

476
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 2: just don't out. I just said, I don't care, I

477
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 2: don't care. You got to move on. You have to

478
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 2: move on.

479
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,479
Speaker 1: I think it's great advice. I don't know how many

480
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: of our listeners will take it, because his money is

481
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: a thing.

482
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 2: But yeah, well, you know, as women, we should always

483
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 2: have some kind of business on the side. I mean,

484
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,199
Speaker 2: I always tell my daughter. My mother taught me, you

485
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 2: know what, you can marry someone who is just okay,

486
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 2: or someone richly. If you make your own money, you

487
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 2: can marry just some one who's okay.

488
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: My grandmother, you said it, I'll be independent because back

489
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 1: in her day, you know, she all they did was

490
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: not all they did. It was a lot, but they

491
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: raised the kids. Dinner on the table. She used to say,

492
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 1: a meat, potato, and vegetable, how to be on the

493
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: table by the time he got home the cleaning. And

494
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: she was such a brilliant woman, my grandmother, but she

495
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,199
Speaker 1: didn't have means, you know. And I think that that

496
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: is the advice that I give my daughter as well.

497
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 1: You have to have some independence, whatever it is, and

498
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 1: then look at you differently.

499
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 2: And that's what I want told me because my mother

500
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 2: was abused physically and mentally my dad. I go, why

501
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 2: are you with him? Because I don't you know, I

502
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 2: had you. I never went to college. I had you

503
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 2: when I was nineteen. And what am I gonna do?

504
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: There was no domestic aview centers. He threatened to quit

505
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 2: his job, he threatened to killer, he threatened all these

506
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,120
Speaker 2: Just promise me, get your education, make your own money.

507
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: God forbid. Your marriage doesn't work out, you have the

508
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,639
Speaker 2: means to leave. You have financial secure A lot of

509
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 2: them don't have that. The men control all the money.

510
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 2: You can't let the man control of the money. I

511
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 2: have to have money in your own account. Yes, you know,

512
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,160
Speaker 2: their destitute without the guy. And that is a bad

513
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 2: place to be because then the man can take psychologically, takes

514
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 2: advantage of you. If he knows that you're you're that

515
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: you're you're in control of yourself financially a little bit.

516
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,159
Speaker 2: He's not going to be so quick to do nasty

517
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 2: things to you.

518
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: You know though i's psychologically I see sometimes all men

519
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: are like that. No, of course not, but I see

520
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 1: sometimes friends of mine who are going through divorce, who

521
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: have been through divorce, and the men are like, you're

522
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: going to if you don't agree to everything I say

523
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 1: right now, I'm going to leave you with nothing, Like

524
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: this is what it's going to be. I'm going to

525
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: divide it up. And if you don't want to go

526
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: along with me, and you want to try to get

527
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 1: a lawyer and do your whole, and I always say like, no, no, no, no,

528
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: Like he's not God. There's something called the law, right

529
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 1: and there's going You're not going to end up with

530
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 1: nothing just because he is telling you that you are.

531
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 1: So I mean, you know, I hate the idea that

532
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 1: I know a lot of women, a lot of friends

533
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: of mine who were just so scared and agreed to

534
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: things maybe they wouldn't have if they hadn't had that fear.

535
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 1: They're absolutely right, right, So you know, we both experienced

536
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: in fidelity. But was it hard for you after that,

537
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: after Mario hadn't been faithful to trust guys to get

538
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: out there and start dating, Like, are you overly cautious now?

539
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: Is it hard for you still to.

540
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 2: Try when we first when we first got divorced, I

541
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: really was. I also say to women, you have to

542
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 2: have a powerhouse of friends. And I my girlfriend said,

543
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 2: I can't believe all these women who are married or

544
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 2: inviting you to their house. I got divorced and a

545
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 2: woman would invite me to their house with her husband,

546
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 2: and my friends just rallied around me, my fifty girlfriends,

547
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 2: and they did with their husbands, and I would see

548
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 2: them every weekend, and sometimes both people, ten people, ten

549
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 2: people invite me to dinner. Go guess what I'm having

550
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: all twenty of you to my house for dinner. And

551
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,920
Speaker 2: then I hung out a lot with my gay friends

552
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 2: and developed more gay friends because at that point I

553
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 2: didn't want to be with a man because I didn't

554
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 2: want him to try to kiss me or touch me.

555
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 2: And I felt very safe with male men that were

556
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 2: gays because they would give me that you know, attention

557
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 2: that we like from a man, but they're not going

558
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 2: to do anything. And I just kind of buried myself

559
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: with close friends. And then after two years I started,

560
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 2: you know, well, actually I did date a little bit

561
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 2: in between I did. I Actually I met this one

562
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 2: man right away that actually forced me getting away from Mario,

563
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 2: because Mario would always kind of get me back in.

564
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: And I remember one time he came knocking. He had

565
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: been away for a few months, and he knocked at

566
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 2: the door, Honey, I'm home, just like that, Honey, I'm

567
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 2: home like what, like in a normal voice, and I'm

568
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 2: getting ready to go on a first date with the

569
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 2: guy who I fell mad in love with. But unfortunately

570
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: he died eight months later. But he helped me get

571
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 2: out of my marriage. He signed a three million dollar

572
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 2: more Coast signed a three million dollar mortgage for me,

573
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 2: which enabled me to keep both homes, the Southampton house

574
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 2: and the New York City apartment.

575
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: So thank you was an how did you meet him?

576
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 2: A setup? Set up, and he was like, you know

577
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 2: what you got to get out of this divorce? While

578
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: I said, you know, he said, he's going to stay

579
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: in this apartment until I leave. Oh, because that's what

580
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,400
Speaker 2: he was doing. Always do a global settlement, Ladies don't

581
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 2: do bit fractured because oh, well, let's just sell the

582
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 2: apartment first and they'll figure everything else at first out later. No, no,

583
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 2: it has to be a global settlement. I never heard

584
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 2: that term. When you well, a global settlement everything you

585
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: sell everything, right, you know, your your keyos, your investments,

586
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 2: your homes, your properties, whatever it may be. Oh, everything

587
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 2: has to be done at one time. He won like

588
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 2: just sell the apartment first. He was so anxious to

589
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 2: sell something and have money, you know. Wo right, So

590
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: point is this man signed for this, and I mean,

591
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: obviously I was paying for I didn't need him to

592
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 2: sign it. But I didn't really show it enough, even

593
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 2: though you know, unfortunately you could have millions in the bank,

594
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,920
Speaker 2: but if you're not showing huge money and earnings, they're

595
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 2: not going to get that right, right. So that really

596
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 2: saved me and got me away from Mari and broke

597
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 2: the cycle.

598
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: Wow, And you felt like in terms of intimacy, it

599
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 1: sounds like this guy was such a gem.

600
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 2: And because Marie and I are such a strong attraction,

601
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 2: you have no idea. We just couldn't stay away from

602
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 2: each other. We'd go away, come back, go away, come back.

603
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 2: It was like a vicious cycle that wasn't healthy for me,

604
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: and this man was I think he was really sent

605
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 2: from God and or no for my angel I have

606
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 2: an angel above it who really watches over me and

607
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 2: pulled me away from that horrible cycle. And that's what

608
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 2: broke my cycle and got me divorce. I met him

609
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 2: like in April, and I was divorced by by the end.

610
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: First name Mark, shout out Mark. Yeah, I love Mark. Yeah,

611
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you lost him, all right.

612
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 2: So so then after that, yeah, I met and I

613
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 2: was set with another guy that I went at with

614
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: for a few months, but then he wanted me to

615
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: have a baby. God. He wanted to surrogate the hell,

616
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: and I said, my daughter just went to college. There's

617
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,239
Speaker 2: no way how much work a child is. I am

618
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 2: not having a baby. So we broke up. And then

619
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: my girlfriend said, listen, what are you do when you

620
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,719
Speaker 2: were married for over twenty years? You had two boyfriends

621
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 2: back to back. I have some fun. So then I

622
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 2: had two relationships with men that were basically twenty years

623
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: younger than make nice. Yeah it was fun.

624
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: And so okay, And I know you said at the

625
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 1: beginning of this you enjoy sex. You like sex, which,

626
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: by the way, ps everyone out there listening, that doesn't

627
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: go away just because you get older. I hate that shit.

628
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: I want people to see that I can't say that's

629
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: the same for me, but you know, I'm a little jealous. Really, Yeah,

630
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: look at how you're looking at me. Do you want

631
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: to have sex with me? I going down the living pod,

632
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: I did very flirtatiously.

633
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 2: Wait, Ramona, I can't believe that is it? Just is it?

634
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: Can I you don't have to answer this, but I mean,

635
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 1: for me, not as much. And I think a lot

636
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: of that is the hormones.

637
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: Well, okay, I've always had a very high sex drive,

638
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 2: and then lately I've done working with a doctor and

639
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: he's giving me tostosterone and estrogen, right, And I don't

640
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: think that's an increase the pellets, yeah, the pellets, yeah,

641
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: but I don't think it increased my sex drive. I

642
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: did it more for like you know, when you get older,

643
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: women get like a vaginal dryness, yes, and your your

644
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 2: walls kind of course, and an intercourse can be painful us.

645
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 2: So I kind of did it for that, right, and

646
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 2: just to be more helps having that testosterone, right, Yeah,

647
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 2: I mean I can sleep through the night. Yeah, he's

648
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 2: more energy, but I already had a lot of energy. Yes,

649
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 2: I already had the high sex drive. So basically it

650
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: makes me sleep through the night. It's like a easier sex,

651
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,959
Speaker 2: not as pain all of that, right, because I used

652
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 2: to do the other thing. It's called the Mona Lisa.

653
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 2: It's a laser they put in vaginally how rejuvenate your

654
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 2: because laser is the best thing. I mean. One of

655
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 2: the reason why I look good is I go to

656
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 2: lazy sob and hold on.

657
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: I write it down.

658
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 2: Hold on, I'm getting a lot too. And oh six,

659
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 2: oh lady, lay write.

660
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: It down the umber room today do you think, Yeah,

661
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: you have to call him for me. Yeah, get me

662
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: in today.

663
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 2: I'll get you in. Okay, Okay, So he does like

664
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,439
Speaker 2: clear and brilliance. So I do it every four months,

665
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 2: three times a year, and it makes sure actually builds

666
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 2: college and makes your poor smaller and it gives you.

667
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: Just so listeners, You guys know, I'm staring at this woman.

668
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 1: And of course I, Ramon, I see you. Obviously i've

669
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: met we've met before on social media. But you always

670
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: assume with social media that there's some kind of a filter.

671
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 2: And I don't use filters. I don't even know how

672
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 2: to use it.

673
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: Okay, So and Ramona, guys, I'm not getting paid for this.

674
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: You look un thank you believable.

675
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I cannot is that where that forty five

676
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: year old tried to pick me up the other day? Okay, well,

677
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: here's forty and he thought I was forty five. I

678
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 2: always trying to pick him up for my daughter, who's thirty.

679
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: He's forty and he goes, what what I thought you

680
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: were forty five? It's true, it's on. It's unbelievable.

681
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: So when we're off air, you're gonna have to make

682
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: a list for me of every single thing that you do.

683
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: All right, so you know, tell us where though now?

684
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: And I think you had didn't you have a boyfriend

685
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: for a while. I don't know exactly, but I feel

686
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 1: like I really talk about my boys and let's not

687
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: talk about now.

688
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 2: But I like relationships. I one on one person. I

689
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 2: don't like random sex. Okay, that's not who I am.

690
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: I'd rather use my hand, right pair enough, Yeah, there

691
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 2: are my likes relationships. I'm into relationships.

692
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: Okay. So where do you find quality men.

693
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 2: In non dating apps? That's for sure? Really? And not

694
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 2: with matchmakers, that's for sure. Why I just meet them

695
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 2: out socially?

696
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 1: Really, like what spots in New York?

697
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 2: Pardon?

698
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: Like? What kind of spots do you go to in

699
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: New York? Where would you tell our New York listeners

700
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: to go? Well, I mean where to go?

701
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 2: It's just any you know. Okay. The important thing is

702
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 2: number one, you got to put your phone away. Okay,

703
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 2: if you're in a restaurant or wherever you are a party,

704
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 2: you can't have your phone looking at your phone. I

705
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 2: who's going to talk to you looking at a phone?

706
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 1: Okay? Agreed?

707
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 2: You have to make eye contact, you see. Just walk

708
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: into a room and smile. Okay, Look if I walk

709
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: into a room.

710
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: I'm like this or welcome room like this, and on

711
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 1: your phone with your head and your phone.

712
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: Oh are you gonna talk to? Who? You gonna look at?

713
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: Right?

714
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 2: You make eye contact? And then when you go to

715
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 2: a restaurant with a girlfriend, don't go out with six

716
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: girls or five girls. That's like a pack. No guys

717
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 2: going to approach you as a pack. Okay, they're too intimidated. Yep. Okay,

718
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 2: So you got with one girl and then you sit

719
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 2: at the bar and you order an appetizer and a drink,

720
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: and you know, and you make eye contact. I mean,

721
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 2: I advise girls get there earlier, get their twenty minutes earlier.

722
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: Oh my girlfriends say, you can sit so long right

723
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 2: next to you the bar. Love that, yep. Yeah, and

724
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 2: just just beout the vibe, just openness and just make

725
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: a comment like the way I got these other guys

726
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: talking to me at this party. They're all tall. I said,

727
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess you're height. I think you're six flog goes.

728
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're right to go and your six

729
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 2: fike goes, You're right. And that's sorted a whole conversation.

730
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: You just try to pick something from the air that's

731
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: just you know, is natural. Love it like we do

732
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: on reality TV.

733
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: Like we do on reality everything out in right reality

734
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: TV is natural. So anyway, so what about a first date?

735
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: So now you've hooked the guy and he asks you out,

736
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: how do you get it? What do you think in

737
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: terms of like if you ever First of all, I

738
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: can't imagine a guy ever not asking you out on

739
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: a second date. I don't know if that's ever happened

740
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: to you. But although you said Mario first, I don't know.

741
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: But how do you hook them on the first date

742
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: if you're interested? Obviously?

743
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 2: Well, I just think, well, first of all, I think

744
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 2: with women, you can't put press when you're going out

745
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 2: on a date. Don't look at it as a date. Okay,

746
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 2: look at you're going out to meet someone to have

747
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 2: a good time. Yep, you need to be relaxed. Okay,

748
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: you have to be relaxed, and whether you hit it

749
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 2: off or not, maybe he can become a friend, maybe

750
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 2: he knows someone. So just go out with a very

751
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 2: natural I feeling that you just want to get to

752
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: know somebody.

753
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: I say that to everyone all the time. I actually,

754
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: by the way, I ran a dating service a million

755
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: years ago as the director.

756
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: I remember it's just lunch. Oh yes, yeah, I fixed

757
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 2: up professionals on mondays.

758
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: Yes that's a good I know I was director for

759
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: a while. But I say this all all the time,

760
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: especially like with the apps. If people are not you

761
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: and not going out and meeting people that way and

762
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: they want to do the apps, do not look at

763
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: it like it's gonna Oh this is it. This is

764
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: so important. I'm gonna go meet this guy, and there

765
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 1: has to be a You're not going You're probably not

766
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: going to it's probably not going to happen. This is

767
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: probably not your husband. So you go out just to

768
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: have a good time. You're meeting someone new, you're shooting.

769
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: Maybe he knows someone, maybe you or not occasionally whatever,

770
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: maybe there is a spark. But like, it's not worthless

771
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: if you don't love each other, if there's not attraction, right,

772
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:48,719
Speaker 1: you're at all averages.

773
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: It's a little average. I mean I was in sales. Okay,

774
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 2: the more people you call, the more the more people

775
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: come in for the appointment, the more people get the appointment,

776
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 2: the more people would write an order for your company.

777
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: It's a law of averages.

778
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,239
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna have to give us a lead. One

779
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: place in New York, though, because I know that my

780
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: listeners are gonna want to know where to go. Just one.

781
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: It's just just go in your.

782
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: Like, are you right? But do you go? Do you

783
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: sign up for classes? Are you doing yacht clubs? I

784
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: mean anything?

785
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: No, I want to do golf in tennis, okay, do

786
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 2: you meet guys that way? Tennis not so much, but golf, Yes,

787
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: you can meet men in golf. Golf is good. Okay,

788
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: I say, girls get out there and just take lessons

789
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 2: with the pro and you know, because men are out there.

790
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: But there were places in New York. I remember back

791
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: in the day like you used to go to Beacha.

792
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: Remember beach A. Yeah, I sit at the bar there. Well,

793
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: my girlfriends go to Avra a lot.

794
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 2: Ava is a big place, has a lot of locations, okay,

795
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: and it's you know they have big bars. Yes, Ava

796
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 2: by Rockefeller Center. You have Avro on sixtieth Street. Is

797
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 2: Ava that just opened on uh I think tenth Avenue.

798
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: Great food you guys have.

799
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 2: So Avra is very social. People like they're there to

800
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 2: talk and mingle because they have huge bars. Any place

801
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 2: as a huge bar is a place to go to.

802
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 2: Remember the Agency bar, didn't you guys used to go

803
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 2: to the Regency. I still go there, you do. And

804
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: then you have Uptown if you like, you know, like

805
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 2: I'm an Uptown girl. You have the crowded bar at Ilios.

806
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 2: You know a lot of men go there.

807
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: I love it there.

808
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 2: Steak places are great to go to because theen like steak.

809
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: Okay, I just know what the listeners are gonna want

810
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: to know. So sorry I had to press you on

811
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: that one. So all right. So have you ever Ramona

812
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: been ghosted? I can't even imagine that, but.

813
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: Oh that means when you.

814
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: Somebody just didn't call you back.

815
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think so.

816
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: Of course you don't think of course.

817
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 2: No, no, I know this one guy. I mean actually

818
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: I was thinking of this one guy recently. He's a

819
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 2: really fun guy, nice guy, and I know he said like, Okay,

820
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 2: let's go to dinner Sunday night, and I go okay,

821
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 2: And then I remember I said to Okay, so what

822
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 2: time are we going to dinner? And then he never

823
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: answered back. But then the next week he called me

824
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 2: and then we're still we're still friendly. We're just friends.

825
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: We go out as friends, not like you know, there's

826
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: nothing romantic there.

827
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: So Gauys, I think that's so much about the fact

828
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 1: because that you're fun like, I don't even even if

829
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 1: the guy did'n't necessarily think that you're the one. Of

830
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: course he's gonna want to go out with you again,

831
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: because it's sort of what you said. You're just a

832
00:32:58,800 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: positive force.

833
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: You're funny, you're fun you know, ask a lot of questions,

834
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: you know, don't talk. I mean I do talk a lot,

835
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 2: but you have to ask the person with questions. People

836
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 2: love talking about themselves, so you know, ask them some questions,

837
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: you know, and be interested in them and getting to

838
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 2: know them and It's just a good tool to use,

839
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: you know, in life, to get you know, to listen

840
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: to people.

841
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: Agreed. It's a huge I think that's huge, actually, and

842
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: I think that that's underrated. So, you know, on a

843
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: first date or set, whatever it is, I think that's

844
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: key because I think a lot of women, out of nervousness,

845
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 1: maybe men too, will just start talking talking, talking about

846
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 1: themselves as opposed to asking the questions and listening. All right,

847
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: let's talk a little bit about beautiful Avery. What look

848
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: at your face? Just lit up?

849
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 2: I love my girls, I know. I was so excited.

850
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: I'm leaving tomorrow for a wedding in Mexico. She's a

851
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 2: bridesmaid of this girl who actually stayed with me during COVID.

852
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 2: I took her in because her mom was stuck in

853
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 2: New Jersey with her mother grandmother. Her dad was stuck

854
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 2: in San Diego couldn't like, you know, fly because of

855
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 2: his health issues. So she was all alone in this

856
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: big apartment condo in Boca on the ocean, and I

857
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 2: just took her in as my daughter, and she was

858
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 2: with us for three months. Love it.

859
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: So she's getting married.

860
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be with Avery and Avery has this

861
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 2: fabulous business called Batch BAC.

862
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: I was there at the Boss. I saw you there

863
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: because I was there at the launch of that Batch Boss.

864
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: That was me.

865
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 2: She's so proud of her. She's some people, you know,

866
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 2: like major people and bachelor bachelor's and now she's doing

867
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 2: major birthday parcess your thirtieth birthday, you're fortieth or thirty fifth,

868
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 2: or you know, girls, trip guys, guys.

869
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: She helps. So Avery's company planned the party, planned the

870
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 1: bachelorette party right right.

871
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 2: But what she does is it's like soup to nuts

872
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 2: because the big thing is to say, it's the money.

873
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 2: You may have a budget that you can afford a

874
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: thousand night. I may have a bunche of only two

875
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: inndred night. So she'll say, what are you comfortable spending?

876
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: So she takes salary. Yeah, So it's that way. She

877
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: stands out a question here, what are you comfortable spending

878
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 2: a night? Because you know everyone has different budgets and

879
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 2: that's a sensitive question now. And then she collects the

880
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 2: money and then she'll and she doesn't charge that much.

881
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 2: I think she'd be charging more. But then and then

882
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: but it's whatever she charges, it's worth it because she

883
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 2: gets discounted all the hotels and the clubs, and it

884
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 2: really does. And she gets not to stop fun. So

885
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: she'll create the theme tonight's Scream with Envy, tomorrow's Pink

886
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 2: with Passion Leopard night. She'll have all the services, all

887
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 2: the swag, all the decor. She'll arrange the yacht or

888
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 2: she'll say, okay, you you know the bride wants you smart.

889
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 2: It's the yacht. But you know what, it's not in

890
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,320
Speaker 2: the budget for these girls. So you're gonna have to

891
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: have your future husband pay, or your parents pay, or

892
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 2: who's someone pay, but they can't. We can't put it

893
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 2: in the budget. Right And then I know, I always

894
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 2: I never experienced what she did until she had her

895
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday party and rented the largest least the largest

896
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: villa Intulom, which she does for bachelor and bachelor of parties.

897
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 2: And I saw her in action, and you know, the

898
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 2: drivers were there, and then the itinerary was there for

899
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: every day, and there's the chefs and the bartenders and

900
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 2: the food and she stocks the refrigerator from his favorite

901
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 2: drinks and food and it.

902
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: Was just an listen, listen, I when my daughter gets married,

903
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: and I always say, fifty years from now, please, I'll

904
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: be calling Avery. But the thing is, I want to know,

905
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: in terms of you and Avery, what advice do you

906
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:13,839
Speaker 1: give her? So is she I don't know if she's

907
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 1: single or not. Right now she's single, she's thirty, is single? Okay?

908
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 1: So I always say to both my kids, I don't

909
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 1: want them to get married until after thirty. That's was

910
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: always my right for whatever reason. I just feel like,

911
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: live and learn and get all of that out of

912
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 1: your system and being single. But what advice do you

913
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: give to Avery? You've been through it, so.

914
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 2: Advance starts dating? I mean yeah, as far as looking

915
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: for a guy, as far as she's very fussy, she

916
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 2: knows exactly what she's looking for. Remember one time, because Mom,

917
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 2: what'd you think of the guy I brought home? On paper?

918
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: He looks great, right, but in person he's boring. I go,

919
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 2: you're right, he was boring. I mean really handsome, graduated

920
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 2: from a top college, top job, blah blah blah blah, tall,

921
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 2: good looking, polite, but very like flat like flat.

922
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 1: Yeah.

923
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 2: So she knows exactly what she wants and she's gonna

924
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 2: get what she wants.

925
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 1: So do you give her anything specific? In terms of

926
00:36:58,480 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 1: I still.

927
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 2: Don't go out with so many girl And she said, oh, Mom,

928
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 2: the other night, I followed your advice. I said, at

929
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: the bar ordered food with my girlfriend with these guys

930
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: next to us. We all went out after we did

931
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: something else. After that we saw on the next day

932
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 2: we all went out as a group. So she says,

933
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 2: you're kind of right, mom, But she loves her girlfriends

934
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: even more than I do. So she has just girlfriends

935
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: all over, she said, she brought she has so many girlfriends.

936
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: You don't tell her, like, listen a guy like this

937
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: and no, like if he because I've done that to

938
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: both my kids, right, like, like these are the things

939
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: to watch out for.

940
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 2: Well, I say to her, if a man doesn't like

941
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 2: his mother, he's not he doesn't like women, So make

942
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 2: sure he loves his mother unless.

943
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: You're important, interesting, interesting, And.

944
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 2: I tell her she's like me. We like to take

945
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: control when you go out in a daycare, let the

946
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 2: man take control. Can you be a little more softer,

947
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 2: like let them order say okay, you know I'm gona

948
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 2: have this for my meal, and him ordering, Can you

949
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 2: order me a glass of weight wine please? I mean,

950
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 2: men like to feel like men. You know, can you

951
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 2: help me with this? Please? You know, let them feel

952
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 2: like a man.

953
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just curious you want to get married again?

954
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I know you're living your best life.

955
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I like being in a relationship.

956
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 2: I like being monogamous. I don't know. That's a very

957
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: interesting question. I don't know how to answer that. I

958
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 2: say never, say never. So who need to be open

959
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: to it? Who knows? Okay?

960
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: All right, it's a really good place to be where

961
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: you don't feel that you have to get married or

962
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: need to get married, right.

963
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 2: I mean I already I'm financially independent. Yep, I already

964
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: have my children my child right, so there's no need

965
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 2: for me to get married.

966
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: Right.

967
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 2: Would I like to have a life partner? I'd rather say,

968
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 2: like a life partner? How's that? A life partner? Love it?

969
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: It's like being married without being married, right, Goldiehan and

970
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 1: it committed relationship absolutely right.

971
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 2: I'm like a Goldie hon you really are? I always

972
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: commier myself more to commit Aaron DZ.

973
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: All right, So I can't help, but I have to

974
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: ask you a little bit about reality TV. I'm not

975
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: going to ask you about a Rony reboot, because I

976
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: feel like everyone asks you about that, But would you

977
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: go back to reality TV for short stints?

978
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: Like I would not want a film for four months

979
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: straight because I love my life and I think that's

980
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 2: one of the reasons why I look good because I'm

981
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: not stressed. No one realizes how difficult reality TV is.

982
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: It takes a lot of stress. Yeah, because because I'm

983
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 2: so unfiltered and I'm so open with my face expressions,

984
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 2: I'm always being I was always being attacked because you know,

985
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: attack ramone and you'll get more screen time and you'll

986
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 2: get a reaction. So it's very It was very stressful.

987
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: It really wasn't being in the press getting negativity from

988
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 2: the press that wasn't true. That was very painful to me.

989
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 2: So now I look good because I'm really happy. I

990
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 2: have no stress. So I would love to do something

991
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 2: like a two week gig, a three week gig, maybe Traders,

992
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 2: maybe something else. I don't know, but like a short gig.

993
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 2: You know, I love I did the Ultimate Girls Trip

994
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 2: that was like perfect five days, four days. That was wonderful.

995
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: I see it one hundred percent. I see you doing

996
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 1: all of that trade like any kind of a spinoff,

997
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 1: Ultimate Girls Trip. All right, what about the Love Hotel?

998
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: What is it the Love Hotel, the One oh No,

999
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 1: or the Golden Bachelorette, any of that.

1000
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: Well, that's the then you force. I don't know, because

1001
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: that forces you to be with men, to have a

1002
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 2: relationship with and you have to start maybe kissing them,

1003
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 2: And I don't know, And I don't think that's for me.

1004
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, they never asked. I can't believe they never

1005
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: asked you to do Love Hotel.

1006
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 2: Huh, that's not they know. It's not for me, you know,

1007
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: for you it's a great show. Yes, I think Delanne

1008
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: did do it, and she's just great out of it.

1009
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: It's just not for me.

1010
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: Right, Is there anything in the works in terms of anything?

1011
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: You never know, You never know. That's my coy girl. So,

1012
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: speaking of Ronnie, I did hear also that there's a

1013
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: group chat that goes on you guys still have.

1014
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're all we're genuine friends. Right, who's in it?

1015
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: Who's not?

1016
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 2: We're all in it all.

1017
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: Does Bethany in it? I mean, well, no, of course

1018
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 1: Bethany obviously not.

1019
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 2: Come. Yes, yes, Bethany's her own her own island very well. Said,

1020
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,320
Speaker 2: I mean, Bethany's a lovely girl, but she likes doing Bethany.

1021
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: I think she's a lovely girl.

1022
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 2: Really, what do you want me to say?

1023
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: I don't know she can say she can she's a

1024
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: lovely okayends on the day.

1025
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: I say she's like a cat. You don't know if

1026
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 2: she's gonna scratch your eyes out of prep next to you,

1027
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 2: you know.

1028
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to get that closed anyway, Like

1029
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 1: who's who's the of all your former cast members, who's

1030
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: the last one you spoke to? Because I know people

1031
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 1: want to know this.

1032
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 2: Well, No, I speak to Luyne a lot. Lewayne and

1033
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: I are closed because she lives in the Hampton. She

1034
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,320
Speaker 2: lives in New York. You know, she lives in my

1035
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 2: daughter's building. Oh okay, and that's two blocks from me.

1036
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 2: Oh that's right.

1037
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of remember I dropped off shoes at

1038
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: you're building? Yes, right, yeah? Yeah? What else can you

1039
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: tell our listeners? My friend is there. In terms of advice,

1040
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: I'm telling you guys whatever Ramona's doing.

1041
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 2: Oh, finances, because no one knows about finance. This is

1042
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 2: actually on my way over. I'm with someone who helps

1043
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: me out with my social media and other things. And

1044
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 2: he said, I don't know what to do with my money. Oh,

1045
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 2: you're young. Put it in the SP five hundreds. All

1046
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 2: you have to do. Put it with Fidelity. They don't

1047
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 2: have any fees. Said, or if you want to do

1048
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 2: something a little riskier, take the top five stocks they

1049
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 2: made like they like in the past five years. They

1050
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 2: went from like if you put ten thousand and they

1051
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 2: went to like two hundred thousand. That's riskier. Or I

1052
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 2: would do half half in the top seven stocks and

1053
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: half in the S and P five hundred and put

1054
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: in Fidelity. And you're dous right. Every month put in

1055
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 2: two hundred, one hundred, three hundred, because that's what you

1056
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 2: need to do.

1057
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: Write it down. I'm telling you guys, whatever Ramona's doing,

1058
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 1: she is doing it right. I have a last question

1059
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: for you. Do you ever think of changing your last name? No, well,

1060
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: your Ramona sing her. I feel like you're an icon, so.

1061
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 2: There's no reason. I know a lot of women after

1062
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 2: they get divorced, they put their name back to the

1063
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: maiden name, but no, it switched work. Yeah, and also

1064
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: I have my maiden name name, so my name is Ramona.

1065
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: Missour singer. Okay, yeah, I can't. I'm glad that you

1066
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 1: never did. I feel like it kind of goes well.

1067
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: Ramona's singer versus Ramona Massaur ramota singer sounds better.

1068
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: Agreed, I was Jennifer Gutterman, which I just hated. Oh yeah,

1069
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 1: I don't like that horrible gutterface although j terrible. Yeah,

1070
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 1: I like fesslor much. Anyway, Thank you so much, thank

1071
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: you coming in. We love you, we adore you. Please

1072
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 1: come back absolutely, because you have a lot of good advice.

1073
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: I feel like we've only sort of scraped stretched the surface. Yes,

1074
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,720
Speaker 1: all right, guys, So Romona, it's just it's been a blast.

1075
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: You are thriving, and we're so happy.

1076
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 2: To hear it.

1077
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 1: As anybody out there started dating again but not having

1078
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: much luck. We are here to help you, guys, so

1079
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 1: call or email us. All the info is in the

1080
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: show notes, follow us on socials, make sure your rate

1081
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: and review the podcast I do Part two and iHeart

1082
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: podcasts where falling in love is the main objective.