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Speaker 1: Have you ever dealt with a toxic baby mama? So

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Speaker 1: we don't call us up right now? Ay eight three

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Speaker 1: four three one O six one eight three four three

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Speaker 1: one o six one ask the question because one of

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Speaker 1: our listeners needs your advice because they're dealing with a

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Speaker 1: toxic baby mama. It's the same thing anyway, Laura, what's up? Hey,

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Speaker 1: you told our producers that you want to ask our

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Speaker 1: audience for help. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: So I've been dating this guy and everything's been great,

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Speaker 2: except he has a toxic baby mama.

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Speaker 1: Well, how is she toxic?

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Speaker 2: She?

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Speaker 1: I know, she's.

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Speaker 2: Checking me out for sure, and like she's always disrupting things,

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Speaker 2: like we'll be out and she'll be texting him for nonsense,

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Speaker 2: like nothing important, you know, and it's just like too much.

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Speaker 1: She has feelings for himself, probably.

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Speaker 2: You know, but they're broken up, like get over it,

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Speaker 2: you know, he's moved on. I don't know. I just

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Speaker 2: feel like she's making things difficult. I mean, he's fantastic,

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Speaker 2: but like I just don't know what to do. I mean,

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Speaker 2: should I end it? Because I feel like she's never

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Speaker 2: going to go away.

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Speaker 1: Talking to one of our listeners, Laura who just called up,

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Speaker 1: and she's wondering if she should break up with her

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Speaker 1: new boyfriend because he has a toxic baby mama. Have

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Speaker 1: you dealt with this before or are you a toxic

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Speaker 1: baby mama? Call us up, give us some advice. Eight

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Speaker 1: eight eight three four three one O six one eight

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Speaker 1: eight eight three four three one oh six one, Laura,

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Speaker 1: how old are is? Kids? Five? Five? So if you

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Speaker 1: were to continue a relationship with this dude with the

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Speaker 1: toxic baby mama, you're looking at potentially thirteen years of

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Speaker 1: dealing with the toxic baby mama. I mean, I think

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Speaker 1: she's going to be in the lift forever.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I guess you're right, But I mean I

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Speaker 3: know you at eighteen and then whatever. But that's so

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Speaker 3: hard because you want to hope that like he can

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Speaker 3: separate it. You shouldn't actually have to have any contact

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Speaker 3: with her unless you know, things got serious and you

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Speaker 3: were taking care of their kid.

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Speaker 1: But leading up to that, that shouldn't be a thing.

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Speaker 1: But that's a fair question. I bet you that some

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Speaker 1: of our listeners have been in similar situations. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: guarantee it. Call us eight eight three four three one

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Speaker 1: O six one text in four one O six one

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Speaker 1: do you have any advice for Laura. She's wondering if

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Speaker 1: she's just stop saying a dude she really likes because

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Speaker 1: he has a toxic baby mama, it's just fun to

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Speaker 1: say toxic baby mama. That should be a song. If

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Speaker 1: there's not a song called toxic baby Mama, there should be.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 3: I hear another one is on its way by Booby Nina.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever dealt with this?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've been through a similar situation. This is

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Speaker 3: a really long time ago with somebody that I was

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Speaker 3: dating in New York. He had a baby mom who

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Speaker 3: clearly couldn't let him go, and ultimately he ended up

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Speaker 3: going back to her. So that would also be my question,

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Speaker 3: what is the relationship outside the toxicity, Like did they

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Speaker 3: spend time together? So I don't know what it is

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Speaker 3: about some people. I don't want to generalize, but some people,

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Speaker 3: when they break up with someone they have a child with,

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Speaker 3: they think it's okay to go back and just like

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Speaker 3: hook up whenever because you're not adding a new number.

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Speaker 1: It's just it cancels each other out or something. I

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Speaker 1: mean I look at it like it's like if you

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Speaker 1: go on vacation to certain places, right and if you

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Speaker 1: go on vacation to the same spot a bunch, it's

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Speaker 1: like no longer really a vacation. So it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like you're just going back to old territory for a minute.

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Speaker 3: Or you can put it that way too, And I

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Speaker 3: guess I guess it makes more sense. And not to

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Speaker 3: freak you out, Laura, you know, it's just another angle

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Speaker 3: to look at with what this relationship is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, I can kind of tell

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Speaker 2: that she's trying to get back with him because she'll

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Speaker 2: set up things like for him to help with stuff,

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Speaker 2: and like it's not necessary for him to help, and

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Speaker 2: she just is trying to keep in contact with him

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Speaker 2: and see him any way she can, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it's one of those situations like hey, can you

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Speaker 1: come help me move a couch because I don't have

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Speaker 1: anybody to help, and then you show up and it's like, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 1: all my clothes were in the laundry. So I'm exactly.

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Speaker 3: So you do feel like your boyfriend's toxic baby mama

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Speaker 3: is trying to get rid of you.

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Speaker 2: I think she is trying to get back in. She

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Speaker 2: probably realizes she lost a good thing, and you know,

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Speaker 2: now she's trying to get it back.

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Speaker 1: But all right, call us up eight and eight, three, four,

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Speaker 1: three one, o six one text in four one or

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Speaker 1: six one. Do you have any advice for Laura. She's

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out if she stops seeing a dude

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Speaker 1: that she really likes because he has a toxic baby mama.

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Speaker 5: Kevin, So, you know, I've had kind of a friend.

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Speaker 5: I think it's kind of been in like a similar

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Speaker 5: situation here and like ultimately, like it ended up working out.

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Speaker 5: So I think it's like something that you know, she

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Speaker 5: should stick with.

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Speaker 6: You know, eventually the baby mom's going to just kind

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Speaker 6: of like she'll be around still, but she'll just kind of,

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Speaker 6: you know, be eased out of it, or you know,

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Speaker 6: it's almost just transactional, you know, because of the shared child.

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Speaker 3: Did your friend do anything specific to like create boundaries

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Speaker 3: or did your friend just kind of start like flapping

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Speaker 3: her what do you call it, just swatting her away,

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Speaker 3: like applying, you know, minded her own business.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean like ultimately you just you know, aimed

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Speaker 5: his focus on you know, the girl he was dating

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Speaker 5: at the time and just kind of, you know, it

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Speaker 5: kind of fizzled, you know, the the.

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Speaker 6: Baby mama kind of just like fizzled out. You only

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Speaker 6: saw her when the kid was getting dropped off or whatever.

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Speaker 6: I mean, there was kind of like a crazy moment

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Speaker 6: with the baby mama where she, you know, was like

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Speaker 6: following him. You know, they just called the cops center

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Speaker 6: that one day, and you know, I think it was

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Speaker 6: fine after that. So like I think she should, you know,

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Speaker 6: continue to date this guy and the baby mama acts

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Speaker 6: up or whatever, just call the cops on her and

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Speaker 6: get her scared, and you know that should take care

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Speaker 6: of the problem.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's one way to handle it. Thank Kevin. Thanks Kevin.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, there you go, Laura. That's your first piece

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Speaker 1: of advice. If you have some advice for Laura on

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Speaker 1: the situation with the toxic baby mama, call us eight

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Speaker 1: eight eight three four three one six one eight eight

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Speaker 1: eight three four three one oh six one. Text in

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Speaker 1: at four one o six one will take your calls next.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you have a story about the cops

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Speaker 3: getting involved, you can go ahead and share that to you.

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Speaker 1: Better Red Flag call us eight eight three four six one.

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Speaker 1: Phone lines are packed with listeners who have dealt with

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Speaker 1: a toxic baby mama.

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Speaker 3: That's it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 5: For calling.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for calling one of our listeners. Laura needs

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Speaker 1: some advice. If you were listening just a few minutes ago,

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Speaker 1: she called up and asked us a question of how

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Speaker 1: you deal with the toxic baby mama.

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Speaker 2: I've been dating this guy and anything's been great, except

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Speaker 2: he has a toxic baby mama.

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Speaker 1: So she asked if our listeners could help her out.

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Speaker 1: Call us up eight eight eight three four three one

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Speaker 1: six one eight eight eight three four three one o

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Speaker 1: six one. Hey Dakota, Yes, So are you a toxic

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Speaker 1: baby mama or have you dealt with talking about.

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Speaker 4: No? Definitely, I would say that it's going to ease out,

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Speaker 4: Like I, my husband has had a toxic baby mom.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and how'd that and what happened? How'd that situation go?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So I was actually friends with her before I was

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Speaker 4: married to my husband, and it was just it was

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Speaker 4: it was not good. It was very toxic. It was

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Speaker 4: just very drama. And then I eventually just stopped saying

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Speaker 4: anything like I just stopped budding my this in it's

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Speaker 4: not my place, and then boom, she just kind of

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Speaker 4: rolled with the punches And now I wouldn't consider as friends. Definitely,

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Speaker 4: we're co parents and if something along with the kids, cool,

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Speaker 4: If not, we don't talk. You know, it's just that

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Speaker 4: simple way it will ease out.

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Speaker 3: So you think that Laura should keep dating this guy

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Speaker 3: and just deal with the toxicity until it burns out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it will burn out.

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Speaker 1: Okay, definitely. Yeah. Maybe.

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Speaker 7: I mean it's years.

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Speaker 4: I've been with my husband for seven years. I would

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Speaker 4: say in the last two and a half it has

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Speaker 4: died down to where it's very that's cool.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So five years Laura, and then maybe it'll be better.

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Speaker 1: So call up with some advice for our listener Laura,

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Speaker 1: who's in a spot where she's trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: if she should keep dating this guy that she says

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Speaker 1: is awesome. It's just he has a toxic baby. Mom.

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Speaker 1: We got to text in a lot of a few

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Speaker 1: texts actually that say fighter. That's probably that's definitely an urge. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's definitely something you want to do, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think that would help. That might make the situation a

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Speaker 1: little more toxic. Hello Amber, Yeah, so what advice would

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Speaker 1: you have for our listener Laura, who is wondering if

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Speaker 1: she should break up with this dude or keep dating him.

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Speaker 1: When he's got a toxic baby mom.

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Speaker 8: I would say she should rowp him. I actually just

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Speaker 8: got out of a relationship with a guy that had

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Speaker 8: an ex wife that was just kind of controlling the life.

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Speaker 8: Like I couldn't even be around him when their son

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Speaker 8: was there, just because you want to change the full

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Speaker 8: And yeah, and we were together for a year, and

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Speaker 8: like he's like, wait till a year and then he

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Speaker 8: can meet the sun and hang out with the sun.

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Speaker 8: And then the year came and nothing changed. Wow, And

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Speaker 8: you know, he wasn't willing to make any boundaries with

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Speaker 8: her at all. So I would say that she should

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Speaker 8: have a conversation with him and just kind of find

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Speaker 8: out if he's willing to like, if he's willing to

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Speaker 8: stand up to her and is not, then I think

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Speaker 8: you should just move on because there's lots of more

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Speaker 8: There's lots of people out there that would, you know,

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Speaker 8: do better.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting how that'll happen. You know, people will break up,

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Speaker 1: and especially if they were in a relationship that was controlling,

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Speaker 1: the person who was the controlling one will still try

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Speaker 1: to control them if they if they have contact, right,

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Speaker 1: if they have a kid, they'll still try to do

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Speaker 1: things to exert some power and control over them if

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Speaker 1: they start dating somebody new, they want to intervene in

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Speaker 1: their dating life and stuff like that, and that's terrible

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Speaker 1: to do because you're not together anymore. Let them make

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Speaker 1: their own decisions.

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Speaker 3: Well, especially when they weaponize the children exactly, And that

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Speaker 3: happens a lot, it.

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Speaker 1: Does, And it's so sad because the people that do

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Speaker 1: weaponize the kids. I've noticed when i've met those people,

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Speaker 1: those type of people, and I've met a few of them,

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Speaker 1: they seem like they're just all about their kids and

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Speaker 1: so interested in their well being, right, except it does

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Speaker 1: so much damage to children, Like it is horrible to

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Speaker 1: do that to a kid, horrible, But they have no

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Speaker 1: problem doing it, and they say they're looking out for

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Speaker 1: their kids well being. Well, you're causing them years and

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Speaker 1: years and years and years and years of trauma and

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Speaker 1: it's going to take a long time to heal from that,

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Speaker 1: if they even do know to heal from it. So

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Speaker 1: don't do that, right, keep it between the adults, keep

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Speaker 1: the kids out of it. It's hard. It's hard, though,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure in that situation to do that, but I've

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Speaker 1: seen it happen a lot. Oh yeah, are you tearing up?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes me sad. It is sad, and yeah

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Speaker 3: it is. It's very deeply emotional.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because people don't realize the type of damage that

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Speaker 1: it can do. And I don't even know if they.

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Speaker 1: I don't even blame some people necessarily, because you literally,

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Speaker 1: if you haven't looked into the amount of emotional and

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Speaker 1: just emotional damage that it can do on a mental level,

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Speaker 1: if you're not really like, mental health is my passion, really,

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Speaker 1: so like, if you haven't looked into it, you're ignorant.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean that as an insult, just don't know

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Speaker 1: the kind of damage that it can do. But even

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Speaker 1: weaponizing your kids a little bit, or talking trash about

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Speaker 1: the other parent to your kid does so much deep

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Speaker 1: damage you don't even understand how So don't do that

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Speaker 1: if you care about your kids. Calls up Aita eight

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Speaker 1: three four three one A sixty one. Our listener Laura

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Speaker 1: was asking should she continue dating this dude that she

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Speaker 1: really likes because he has a toxic baby mom. Hey Jackie, Hey,

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Speaker 1: good morning, good morning. So what advice do you have

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Speaker 1: for Laura?

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Speaker 7: I'm you know, I think he could sit with it.

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Speaker 7: But I also think that there's some sticky layers here

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Speaker 7: because of the child, and I don't know how old

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Speaker 7: they are or anything, but I think that it's important

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Speaker 7: to note. You know, obviously you hear about this man,

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Speaker 7: and that's really important, but he's also a package deal

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Speaker 7: with his kids, and if you have love for this

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Speaker 7: kid that you want to grow up with and share

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Speaker 7: a life with, I think that that's a very important

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Speaker 7: layer to consider and making this choice, not just considering

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Speaker 7: the baby mama, because I do believe that this child

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Speaker 7: is owed the opportunity to have a partnership with his

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Speaker 7: parents or a co parenting situation that's healthy. And you know,

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Speaker 7: if you can really see yourself with this man and

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Speaker 7: his child as a as a really great family, that

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Speaker 7: will happen in time. And I really think it has

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Speaker 7: to do with communication with a child's mom and dad

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Speaker 7: with you in the room, and creating a healthy partnership

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Speaker 7: for this kid, especially as you see yourself with this person.

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Speaker 7: It's a very important dynamic. And I don't know, just

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Speaker 7: something to consider because you clearly really care about this guy,

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Speaker 7: but he also has, you know, a kid to consider,

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Speaker 7: and that's just a you know, a layer that's scary

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Speaker 7: sometimes because I don't know, if you're a mom or

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Speaker 7: it's hard, that's good advice with it if you really

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Speaker 7: care about it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for the phone call, Jackie. That's great advice.

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Speaker 1: Appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: I mean it's a great point, Jackie Layers, because I mean,

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Speaker 3: all of these kind of situations are complicated.

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Speaker 1: It's just what are you willing to deal with exactly