WEBVTT - #Ask A Black Friend

0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so let's ask the black friend. Question comes from

0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:17.239
<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners UM on our Instagram page. It says,

0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Hey A J and Tam Bam, I do have a

0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:22.759
<v Speaker 1>question for ask a black friend. What is the etiquette

0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:26.960
<v Speaker 1>of a white person entering a black space. I'm a

0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:30.160
<v Speaker 1>white chick from Chicago living in New Orleans, and black

0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:33.360
<v Speaker 1>people here and make the city vibrant, colorful, and full

0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:36.440
<v Speaker 1>of magic. It's a magical place it is. I love

0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:41.280
<v Speaker 1>the second line parades that happen here, and often it's

0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.560
<v Speaker 1>predominantly black. Anyone can jump in at any time, and

0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.960
<v Speaker 1>I do, but I feel self conscious, like am I

0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:52.320
<v Speaker 1>invading this space which signifies so much more for black

0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.800
<v Speaker 1>culture than my own? Or if I'm in a bar

0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:58.880
<v Speaker 1>scene and it's clearly mostly black people, but I would

0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.880
<v Speaker 1>like to check it out. What's the best rapport? What

0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:07.080
<v Speaker 1>are things to think about slash consider when joining in

0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.080
<v Speaker 1>on the festivities if I should be joining them at all?

0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.600
<v Speaker 1>You ladies rock and you've brought me such helpful info

0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.319
<v Speaker 1>and great laughter as a single lady trying to make

0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:20.800
<v Speaker 1>it in this crazy, crazy world. And I did thank

0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.280
<v Speaker 1>you for her question, UM, and I didn't ask her

0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.320
<v Speaker 1>a question. Also, um, because my thing is black people

0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:34.320
<v Speaker 1>we are usually like pretty inviting, and it's a problem

0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:38.080
<v Speaker 1>that is one of our problems because we are so

0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:42.600
<v Speaker 1>inviting and inclusive, we want to make sure everybody feels welcome.

0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.039
<v Speaker 1>I think the problem she feels is more of an

0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.760
<v Speaker 1>insecurity on her end that no black person can assist with.

0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:52.720
<v Speaker 1>I can't make you feel any more comfortable than I'm

0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:57.520
<v Speaker 1>already making you feel. To be like, you here, you

0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.840
<v Speaker 1>already here. Now, you gotta read the room. In my

0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:05.120
<v Speaker 1>you read the room because we are environment but not always.

0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:09.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, there are terms where you might be the

0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.080
<v Speaker 1>odd man out and people looking at you like what

0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:16.120
<v Speaker 1>the fuck you know? So you just gotta read. Read

0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.320
<v Speaker 1>the room, read the environment, and you know you can

0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.480
<v Speaker 1>feel the energy if you're welcome or not. It's the

0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:24.079
<v Speaker 1>same thing with black people going into these are whites

0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:26.760
<v Speaker 1>only pies, you know, like, you gotta read the room.

0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.959
<v Speaker 1>You need to look. And we ain't about to stick

0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:31.920
<v Speaker 1>around and try to make y'all like us either. We're

0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.200
<v Speaker 1>gonna do it our face, write the funk up out

0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:38.359
<v Speaker 1>of there. But white people are punkerers, Okay. They just

0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.679
<v Speaker 1>start and they teach their children from young that y'all

0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:43.560
<v Speaker 1>running this ship. I can go any place y'all want

0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:46.600
<v Speaker 1>to go. And that's how didn't show up in the world. Right.

0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.080
<v Speaker 1>But black people, we know we ain't staying someplace we

0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.080
<v Speaker 1>didn't want it. If I walk into a restaurant and

0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:53.240
<v Speaker 1>I'll see no black fans, I'm like, should we should

0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:58.120
<v Speaker 1>we be eating here? Yeah? Read the room. That's my mess,

0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, tipping culy though we are inviting and we

0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:05.440
<v Speaker 1>are in. When we see white people dancing to black music,

0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:07.840
<v Speaker 1>it's entertaining for us. I ain't gonna lie. It's always

0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:10.079
<v Speaker 1>a good time to see, like, you know, white people

0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:14.480
<v Speaker 1>enjoying black shit. So I mean, just to enjoying yourself, right,

0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.960
<v Speaker 1>That's what I told usaid, be yourself, And I said,

0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:20.720
<v Speaker 1>have you actually had any issues in predominantly black spaces?

0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I said, we can't help you feel less self conscious.

0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:26.880
<v Speaker 1>You may need to explore why it is you're feeling

0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:30.960
<v Speaker 1>that way, um, as it's in an internal issue because

0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:34.320
<v Speaker 1>black people are oftentimes more than inviting. That's what I

0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:37.400
<v Speaker 1>said to her, and she was like, you know, truthfully, um,

0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.240
<v Speaker 1>I've been in a lot of black spaces and it

0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:43.680
<v Speaker 1>felt so welcomed and even enjoyed being the only white person.

0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.200
<v Speaker 1>But then a friend, then a white friend of mine,

0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.480
<v Speaker 1>said they went and go into a specific bar mostly

0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:52.680
<v Speaker 1>black folks hang there without being there with a black friend.

0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:58.240
<v Speaker 1>This friend self considers himself progressive, a progressive white guy

0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.640
<v Speaker 1>from the Bay Area. I thought it was weird he

0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.600
<v Speaker 1>said that, but when I started doubting, But then she

0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.560
<v Speaker 1>started doubting herself. Is what she's saying, um, and then

0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:10.160
<v Speaker 1>she just thinks us. So the parades and stuff like that,

0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.400
<v Speaker 1>that is a big cultural thing in New Orleans, and

0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:16.280
<v Speaker 1>I wish that other groups of black people in America

0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.400
<v Speaker 1>would have held onto their culture in the way that

0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.640
<v Speaker 1>people in New Orleans do. I have treat my lineage back.

0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Charleston is a place where people have held on Yeah,

0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:28.400
<v Speaker 1>but I'm talking about the parades, like we do parades

0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.159
<v Speaker 1>and stuff, but like wearing the feathers and all indigenous things,

0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.279
<v Speaker 1>like a lot of that has been lost there, you

0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.599
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying. But we are essentially the same people,

0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.680
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. So I understand like her

0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:41.640
<v Speaker 1>jumping in the parades and stuff like that, but if

0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.840
<v Speaker 1>they are allowing that down there like it, have fun,

0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.359
<v Speaker 1>do it yeah, but I agree with your friend in

0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:49.200
<v Speaker 1>a little way, like I'm just going in the black

0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:52.960
<v Speaker 1>places just thinking sweet, because it ain't always sweet, you know,

0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:56.280
<v Speaker 1>like so like it's it's black places, I won't go

0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.839
<v Speaker 1>without a big guy. No that no the place. So

0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.479
<v Speaker 1>let me tell you one thing I do know is

0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:08.000
<v Speaker 1>white people are safe in America. Safe, safer, They are

0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:12.320
<v Speaker 1>safer mm hmm. They're more more safe than a lot

0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:16.920
<v Speaker 1>of us. Yeah. So yeah, I mean it's just that's

0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.360
<v Speaker 1>an internal issue and I don't know how to really assist,

0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:21.120
<v Speaker 1>but I think we give some pretty good pointers on

0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:26.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, just be yourself, queen the room, read the room,

0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:31.240
<v Speaker 1>chill out. But yeah, that that thing, and sometimes take

0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:35.279
<v Speaker 1>your black friend with you. Get some black friends, or

0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.400
<v Speaker 1>get some black friends, how about that. Listen, we all

0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.200
<v Speaker 1>may have been one color at some point, right, but

0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:46.279
<v Speaker 1>for whatever reason, we're starting to uh uh incarnate back

0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.320
<v Speaker 1>hair different colors. Yeah, because you could have been a

0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:54.640
<v Speaker 1>white lady before. Yeah, I think so. Uh I think

0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:58.200
<v Speaker 1>I was a white man. Oh but just like the

0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.520
<v Speaker 1>Earth is coming back together, you know, there used to

0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.200
<v Speaker 1>be like one solid mask in his in his coming

0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.279
<v Speaker 1>back together, we're gonna be all one color eventually not

0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.040
<v Speaker 1>we probably won't see it in this time. You're saying that,

0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:13.880
<v Speaker 1>and that's what they're scared about them, that's what they're

0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:18.080
<v Speaker 1>scared about for real. But anyway, look, that's another show too.

0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:25.839
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for your question, girl, Yes and yes, what

0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.560
<v Speaker 1>a dumb bitch stories that? So listen, we're gonna talk

0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:30.479
<v Speaker 1>about Cuff of season next week because we're kind of

0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:33.520
<v Speaker 1>late anyway, because Cuff of season already started. But so

0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:35.279
<v Speaker 1>you mean to tell me all y'all coughed up in

0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:37.880
<v Speaker 1>successful good relationships. Me ain't got a dumb this story.

0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.200
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know how long, but I know y'all

0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.840
<v Speaker 1>out there still dumb bitching it. Um,