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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's strongly denying that he spread

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Speaker 1: the online rumor Prince Harry only wears SpongeBob underwear.

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Speaker 2: I hope that's true. I mean he's probably got some

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Speaker 2: Donald Duck and Dibbity Dog under reason there too.

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Speaker 1: Oh come on, look, it's the official stance of Laser Stories,

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Speaker 1: the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

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Speaker 1: Those other fruit of the dunes just don't. This first

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Speaker 1: laser story is out of Oakland. An officer was in

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Speaker 1: a grocery store parking lot when he saw a Honda

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Speaker 1: Civic backing into a spot with a temporary rear plate

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Speaker 1: and no front plate. He ran a records check and

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Speaker 1: found the vehicle had been reported stolen.

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Speaker 2: Here we go.

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Speaker 1: The cops marched into the grocery store, found the driver,

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Speaker 1: Joe Shastain, and asked him if he could empty his pockets.

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Speaker 1: A quick search found several stolen credit cards, a fraudulent

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Speaker 1: check in driver's license, all in his pockets, and mailbox keys.

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Speaker 1: But it was the to do list that peaked the

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Speaker 1: officer's interest because the list read one laundry. Two, talk

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Speaker 1: to kids, Three, get some money, and four boost get it.

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Speaker 1: And if you weren't aware, boost is slang for stealing

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Speaker 1: or shoplifting.

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Speaker 2: But his kids were above that on the to do list.

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Speaker 2: His kids kids, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And at that point, Joe tried to awkwardly remove a

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Speaker 1: few grocery items out of his jacket, but the damage

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Speaker 1: was already done and he was arrested.

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Speaker 2: Didn't he say, but look at that. One's not checked

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Speaker 2: off yet. He was booked on multiple charges.

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Speaker 1: But good news, he did get his to do list

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Speaker 1: done because he called his children.

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Speaker 2: With his one phone call from Jack, we're happy to

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Speaker 2: be wrong. Yeah, good job, Joe.

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Speaker 1: This next lazer stories out of toilet Town. No one

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Speaker 1: wants to be interrupted or rushed when they're using the restroom.

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Speaker 1: But we've all been sitting on the commode one time

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Speaker 1: or another and heard a rap at the door. Well.

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Speaker 1: Popular online lifestyle blog just asked the internet, when someone

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Speaker 1: knocks on the bathroom door while you're using it.

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Speaker 2: What do you say? Oh?

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Speaker 1: The most popular answer was shouting, someone's in here?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh man, yes, in the third person, you're the

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Speaker 2: one toilet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Other responses were occupied, I'm almost done, or I'll be

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Speaker 1: out in a minute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's mine. There we go someone, Hey, what's your

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Speaker 2: favorite color? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And then my kids go, okay, we're gonna count to

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Speaker 1: sixty seconds, and you're not exactly sixty seconds, and.

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Speaker 2: You lied and that wasn't a minute. Me sorry, kids,

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Someone noted that in Japan, you're apparently supposed to knock

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Speaker 1: back if someone knocks on the bathroom. It's the silent

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Speaker 1: courtesy of their culture. Just drop a beat on the

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Speaker 1: bathroom door.

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Speaker 2: Spring.

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Speaker 1: But maybe the funniest responses they received in the survey include,

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Speaker 1: come back with a warrant.

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Speaker 2: That's a funny response.

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Speaker 1: I'm with a client, just finishing up the paperwork, and

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Speaker 1: what's the password. Another person said that they don't say anything,

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Speaker 1: they just scream.

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Speaker 2: That will clear the line.

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Speaker 1: That alone, This next Lazer story is out of celebrity corners.

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Speaker 1: Nicholas Cage has lived in Las Vegas for fourteen years

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Speaker 1: and off and on for three years before that, but

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Speaker 1: in a recent interview with The Wall Street Journal, Nick

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Speaker 1: says he does not put the sin in sin city.

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Speaker 1: What is it?

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Speaker 2: Okay? What does he do? Then?

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Speaker 1: Nick says he cultivates his creativity and imagination by quote

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Speaker 1: putting yourself in the middle of Vegas and saying no,

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Speaker 1: no to that whiskey on the rocks, no to that

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Speaker 1: scrip club, and no to that casino.

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Speaker 2: What's that? I just don't buy it with Nicholas Cage

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Speaker 2: for some reason?

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Speaker 1: Does anyone else?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're after far shrip club. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Nick finished up by saying, just be completely dry with everything.

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Speaker 1: I mean everything, including intimacy.

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Speaker 2: Wow, well that's not hard. I mean he's an old man,

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Speaker 2: so it makes sense. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Interestingly enough, he was doing an interview promoting his new

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Speaker 1: serial killer movie and he said he based the lead

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Speaker 1: role partly on his mom.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to do a wellness check on Nick.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of hacks and dupes

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Speaker 1: and shortcuts.

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Speaker 2: Oh mine, let's go.

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Speaker 1: A recent news report on a national TV broadcast is

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Speaker 1: making the rounds because a reporter found insider hacks that

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Speaker 1: cust aren't supposed.

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Speaker 2: To know about.

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Speaker 1: Tell us, maybe the most helpful hack came from a

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Speaker 1: few people in customer service. Apparently, if you call a

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Speaker 1: company and a bot answers just drop a few f bombs.

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Speaker 1: Why Why? Because the system, hears you as an angry

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Speaker 1: customer and tries to get you to the yours.

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Speaker 2: So let's escalate this. Yeah yeah, if you do that

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Speaker 2: work for me.

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Speaker 1: Apparently they'll like immediately put a human on the phone.

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Speaker 1: And then you immediately feel guilty because you're like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if they heard that or not.

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Speaker 2: I didn't mean to be directed towards that.

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Speaker 1: Well that one think you in You're like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. That one's supposed to save you time.

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Speaker 1: Now here's a few more industry hacks that the news

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Speaker 1: reports say could also save you money. Number five, if

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Speaker 1: you offer to pay your therapists in cash, they might

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Speaker 1: cut you a deal.

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Speaker 2: No way you can do it? If that sounds so sketchy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm see my therapist. Can I worked twenty bucks? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: if your therapist is willing to accept cash, I don't

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Speaker 2: know how you sh she said, no, can we just

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Speaker 2: do this?

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Speaker 1: Number four, don't use big websites to buy flowers. It's

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Speaker 1: cheaper if you call a local florist and just tell

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Speaker 1: them what you want, and they look so much better

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Speaker 1: that they don't come in like one of those boxes,

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Speaker 1: you know, like they just look good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're talking about your Mother's Day gift recently, gotcha?

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Speaker 2: I will say, sometimes it is easier to send than

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Speaker 2: like big Box.

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Speaker 1: Then number three, you want a bigger college scholarship, just

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Speaker 1: ask what a high school teacher said. Several students got

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Speaker 1: between ten and twenty thousand dollars more this year just

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Speaker 1: by writing to the school before committing and claiming another

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Speaker 1: school was offering them more money.

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Speaker 2: It's always a really cood.

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Speaker 1: You gotta be a smart kid to do that, though,

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Speaker 1: jen Z is so much better at negotiation than my

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Speaker 1: generation ever was. Number two, get a car loan before

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Speaker 1: you buy. You'll almost always get a better rate if

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Speaker 1: you go directly through a financing company. And finally, maybe

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Speaker 1: the one that's the darkest on this list, you can

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Speaker 1: rent a nice casket for a funeral and then bury

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Speaker 1: the person in a cheaper one.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you don't buy the casket up front. That's that.

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Speaker 2: It's actually good advice. Gramps isn't gonna care. He's long gone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 2: Just pour me into a wine bottle.

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Speaker 1: Figure it out. Yeah, I know this guy's final request.

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Speaker 1: He wants to be faced down, shell off so that

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Speaker 1: the whole world can see as Little Green took I

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Speaker 1: see he didn't do all those glute.

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Speaker 2: Workouts for nothing.

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Speaker 1: And that's now I means Blazer Stroys has come to

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Speaker 1: an end of the day. We'll do it again, same

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Speaker 1: time on Friday

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Speaker 2: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning,