WEBVTT - “I HAVE ANGER ISSUES” 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:05.160 Let's talk to Chris. Who is this Chris? 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:05.960 Hi? 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:07.960 What's going on? 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:08.640 Hey? 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:09.040 Are you? 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:13.600 I'm good. I'm a gecko on the computer, Chris. It 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:19.160 says here that you've been getting angry very often, says 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:21.759 you have a short temper, and you want to know 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:23.640 why you've been getting angry easily? 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.240 Yeah, that that has been the case. A lot of 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.479 people have been pointing that out. And you know, just 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.760 after a certain situations or after a day, I'll think 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:39.519 back on it. I'll be like, maybe I maybe I 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:45.280 did overreacting, but I didn't used to be like that. 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:46.600 Just the thing. 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:52.559 Interesting, Okay, So what when you said that you're short tempered? 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:55.840 Now you get angry recently? Like what sorts of things 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:59.280 have been making you angry? 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:13.720 Like like the small things, like for example, like if 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:15.880 somebody were to ask me, like a really dumb question 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:20.320 when they could answer themselves, like without having to ask. 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:25.800 Me, give me an example of a question like that. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:31.480 I mean, I mean a good example I could give 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.880 you is like if I'm if I park right next 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.399 to the gas station after my car started beeping like 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.759 low gas, and you know, the person in the passenger 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.880 seat were asking me like, oh, we're getting gass like, yes, 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:44.040 you know, ship your luck. 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:48.840 Okay, interesting, but I mean, okay, so that and that 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.480 and something a little thing, a little thing like that 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:57.760 just gets at you and makes you man, Yes. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.720 But it's more like the accumulation of all those things 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:01.560 in like one day. 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:03.440 Yeah, okay, So that's what I was gonna say. Is 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:05.680 you know, I'm not a real therapist. I'm a gecko 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:10.520 guy on the internet who is insane. But my hypothesis 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:15.880 on this thing is that obviously you know, and you 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:22.880 know this, everyone knows you're not actually mad that your 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:27.720 friend asked you that question. Your anger is coming from 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:32.959 a different place or from a as you said, accumulation of 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:37.280 multiple things. And so I'm curious maybe we can get 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:42.440 there where this anger is being redirected from. Do you 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:48.119 have any ideas. 0:02:47.360 --> 0:03:00.960 That's a good point, hmm, I mean, I I would 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:01.880 have to think about that. 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.360 Tell tell me this, how is your how is your 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:08.480 life going? Just on a macro level. 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.280 I mean, in my opinion, I'm really just starting it 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:19.160 because after high school, which is like twenty twenty, you know, 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:24.960 beginning of COVID all that, that's when I kind of 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:28.760 became a homebody, you know, and I'm still kind of 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:35.200 used to that. And I took a break from college 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:41.240 and I'm just starting that off now too, So yeah, 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:42.960 pretty much just at the start of things. 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:47.560 Okay, So you at the start of things and you 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:53.400 said you took a break from college and now you're back. Yes, Okay, 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:54.600 how are you enjoying college? 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.400 I mean it's not too bad. I'm actually doing it 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.200 with my girlfriend, and she's the one that convinced me to, 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:06.080 you know, go back, give it a try, and you know, 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:09.440 after some talking, I'm trying to realize it probably is 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.280 the easiest way to my perior path. 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.600 Okay, how are things are going with your girlfriend? 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:21.000 I would say pretty good. I mean we've been together 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:26.400 for about a year and hast so yeah, I don't 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.560 see any problems with her, but I mean she is 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:31.279 one of the people that have pointed out that I 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:35.440 get pretty uh angry quick. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:39.440 Okay, all right, so things are going well with the girlfriends. 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:47.200 You're at the beginning of your your life path, as 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.120 you've said, are you do you? Are you? Are you 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:52.600 having feelings of excitement? Are you you know there's a 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:56.560 lot of potential energy with you right now? Are you 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:58.360 like excited about what's to come. 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:04.440 I definitely kind of have like a love of hate 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:08.520 relationship with it because I never liked school. You know, 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:11.760 that's one of the reasons why I took a break 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:16.040 in the first place. But like I said, it just 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.080 makes sense how it's the easiest way to what I 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.960 want to do. KA, So I'm just gonna give it 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:22.760 a try, give in my all. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:27.280 I guess, all right, So there's no anything going on 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:30.400 in your life that is like, at least from what 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.760 I'm gathering from what you're telling me, that is causing 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:37.039 you a lot of anger and frustration in a big way. 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:44.400 I mean, I guess, I mean, I guess maybe like 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:49.280 job wise, I could be fucking struggling a little bit. 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.800 That that's I have a few regrets with my job choices. 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:55.200 Why is that? 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:00.800 Because I mean, I want to say, a year ago, 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:03.440 I used to have like a really good job, like 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:09.160 really good, and I quit because I don't know, I 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:11.560 don't know why I quit, Like I should have just 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:15.680 dealt with with what was like happening, But you know, 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.160 I just got a I guess I got a little 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:20.400 too quick with it and I quit, sure, and I 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.599 regret it. I fund a job that good since I've had. 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:28.400 It, okay and disregret. Is it just like a passing 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:34.320 thing or is it? Is it a prevalent source of 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.640 anger in your day to day life. 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.960 I mean, I think about it frequently because it's like, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:45.839 right now, what I do is the job is I 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:47.960 kind of just help out my father with you know, 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:54.919 his job, and he pays me, and you know, that's 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.479 just how I get my money. I'm able to pay 0:06:56.560 --> 0:07:00.880 like most of my stuff like that, but before I 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.280 didn't really have to rely on you know, my dad 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:06.279 or anything too, Like if my bills come through, it's 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.240 just like, yeah, he he owes me money because like, 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.040 oh we did the work. But it just stucks having 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:12.800 to go up to him like hey, can you send 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.920 me the amount that I need and shit, or like 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:19.320 I need money to go out. It's like I know 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:25.120 I could probably just you know, I can always just 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.040 ask him because it's it's my money, he said, I 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:31.440 just have to. It's like whenever it's available. 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.720 It'll be there. But all right, so none of this stuff, 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:38.160 I mean, if it doesn't sound like any of these stuff, 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:40.440 I'm trying to poke around your brain and life and 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:44.280 find anything that could be like really frustrating you. But 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:47.120 it doesn't at least sound to me. I mean, sure, 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:48.920 you have this regret about your job, but you know 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.120 you're a human being. No human being has ever, you know, 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:59.160 lived with absolutely no regrets of anything ever. And it 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.840 doesn't sound like, at least to me from the limited 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:05.200 amount of information you've given me, that there is any 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:10.960 large pain points. So I'm wondering why you're still getting 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:16.680 upset at these little things, or like, what is triggering 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:20.040 you to have such like. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:29.160 Style right the best and honestly described like the the 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.080 you know, so I guess me things is like when 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:36.520 when something doesn't work how it's supposed to. Like if 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:39.520 if one day, if I wake up in my daytube 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:43.560 likes aren't working like this is just an example, then 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:45.880 I'll get mad at like I'll like sort some ship 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:50.120 and I would just ruin my morning. 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:57.640 Okay, interesting, you should read it. I'm gonna go. Can 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:04.000 I have permission to say some doucheese? Of course you 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:08.640 should read up on stoic philosophy. I'm not going to 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:10.760 sit here and pretend like I've read a whole bunch 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:15.040 of books on it. But I feel like, you know 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:20.280 the crux of it is, you know, accepting things that 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:25.160 you cannot control. See when you you have to. You 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:30.400 gotta understand when you wake up and you get upset 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:34.959 that your Bluetooth is not working, you are are wasting 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:42.560 precious energy toward absolutely nothing productive, like this thing happened, 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:47.520 and getting upset about it. It will not benefit you 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.840 in the slightest. It won't motivate you to do anything 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:56.120 about it. It is nothing but a pure waste of 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.760 your precious energy to get upset about your bluetooth not working. 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.560 And I think that it takes a little bit of time, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.319 Like you know, you could hear me say that and go, oh, yeah, 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:13.199 I guess you're right. But to really change your gut reaction, 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:18.440 you've got to train yourself to understand that, and you 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:21.520 have to do this in an intentional way. So tomorrow, 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.600 when you wake up and your Bluetooth doesn't work, your 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:29.720 gut reaction will be to get upset, and you have 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:36.480 to intervene and stop the gut reaction by saying to yourself, 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.679 this is a waste of energy. It's not going to 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.040 do anything. You know, I will just accept this and 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:46.720 move on with my day. And the more mornings that 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.280 you do that, when your Bluetooth isn't working or when 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:52.600 your friend asks you why you're getting gas, your gut 0:10:52.640 --> 0:11:00.319 reaction will slowly start to be replaced by that thought. 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:01.840 Does that make sense? 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:09.760 Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense. So yeah, yeah I should, 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:11.680 that's for sure. 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:16.400 So next time you you just just do do this. 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:24.600 You know, your your anger and your frustration occasionally can 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.760 be a useful tool if it propels you into some 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:32.640 form of action that can be beneficial to the situation 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:39.640 you're in. But like most of the time, it's just 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:46.840 a complete and utter waste of your precious energy, you know, 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.880 because if you go around being fucking pissed off at 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:53.680 every single opportunity that you have to get pissed off, 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.240 you're're gonna be miserable. 0:11:58.240 --> 0:11:58.440 You know. 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:04.040 Like if you're there are these people who uh you know, uh, 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.880 like if I'm in the passenger car with somebody who 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.520 is like an angry driver and they're always beeping or 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:14.240 like somebody, let's say, cuts them off in traffic, and 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:17.160 then five minutes later they're still talking about the person 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:20.160 that cuts them off in traffic, It's like, what are 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.199 you doing? Just be like, oh fuck, that happens, and 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:26.440 then completely move on with your life. It's it's it's 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.280 not an effective way to be to get pissed off 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.680 at every opportunity that you have to get pissed off. 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:39.400 Yeah, yeah, honestly, that's That was a pretty good example 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.559 of like a few of my days. 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.280 Okay, is that a thing for you? You get pissed 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:49.920 off and like traffic, key car situations. 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:58.520 Yes, like absolutely, yes, yeah. 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:02.560 Man, just just try to recognize what your gut reaction 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.760 is to these situations, like get on the step ladder 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:10.080 and observe your own reactions and then put forth intentional 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:11.280 effort to change them. 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:17.360 Here, here's something funny that happened this one time. So, 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.640 like I said, I'm not a very good traffic person, 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.560 so I try to avoid that as much as possible. 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.240 My girl is like thirty mints away from me. Like 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.640 with traffic, it's an hour, but I don't mind it 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:35.400 at all. But usually I dropped off at like two 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.640 in the morning because that was after work. We used 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.559 to work at like a movie theater, and then I 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:42.960 would just go back home late at night. One day, 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:46.640 I dropped off early, and I forgot that the roads 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:51.000 would probably be you know full, but it was like whatever, 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:55.000 I get on the road and this one time, like 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:58.520 bumper the number traffic moving five months while on the highway, 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:03.400 and I said, you know what, it's okay, we'll get 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.560 home eventually. You know, it was a good day. We'll 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:10.560 just relaxed, sit back, listen to a podcasts. Right. Yeah, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.480 my car overheated because of how long hours in traffic 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.960 and I had to pull over and waited until like 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:24.240 twelve am to actually start getting home. 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.240 Yeah. 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.480 Then the one time I wasn't impatient. 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:32.720 And that pissed you off. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.560 Yes, like unbelievably. 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.880 Uh yeah, I mean, listen, it sounds like in that situation, 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:46.000 you did the best you could. But you'll get Listen, man, 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:51.440 you'll get to a point where you'll you'll you'll be like, 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.080 I mean, looking back on that now, I mean, that's 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:59.160 super funny that you were patient in this. It's funny. 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:02.680 It's funny. You see, it's funny. Now maybe next time 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:05.400 when it happens, you'll recognize that it's funny in the 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.760 moment and that'll help you in some way. 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:11.440 Yeah, hopefully. 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:17.440 No, that was definitely like, Chris, is there anything else 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:18.720 you want to say to the people of the computer 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:19.240 before we go. 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:24.160 Don't let the. 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.920 Small thing bother you, guys, It's not worth it. 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:28.480 Beautiful. 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.840 Yeah, have a good night, Geck did you. 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:36.320 Call on Chris every night? But just just to really, 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.440 just to clarify, just to just to clarify, I've probably 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:43.080 I bought a book on Stoic philosophy, and I probably 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:52.160 read twenty five pages of it. And that's about how 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:57.600 much I've read. Just because I's it's really important to 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:01.240 me that I don't create a false narrative of who 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:05.280 I am that involves me being a guy who reads 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:11.720 a lot of books. I've probably read four books over 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.800 the course of my entire existence. I just want to 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:20.720 clear that up. Hello. Hello, is this Landon? 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:22.320 Yes? It is. 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:23.720 What's going on with you? Landon? 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:26.600 I am currently in my house playing Halo. 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.920 You are currently in your house playing Halo, Yes. 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:33.960 The useless studio game, And I want to talk to 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.000 you about how I well, I don't think it's a 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:40.120 fact that around five billion years the Sun is going 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:44.360 to blow up and the Earth is absolutely in the radius, 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:48.480 and the Earth will be unhabitable and the humanity, if 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:50.480 it's still on Earth, will be dead by then. 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.880 Yeah, Yeah, it says here that you have a fear 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:58.280 that the sun will eventually blow up the earth long 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:06.320 after you're dead. Yeah, okay, so why why does that 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.240 scare you? The sun blowing up the earth? 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:12.359 Whoa, you know, it's been around for a while, but 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:17.400 not for that long compared to the life of the Earth. 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:22.280 We're fucking useless. But all the progress we've made as 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:26.359 a species, all we've developed, we'll kind of always be 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:27.640 taken away from us. 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:32.720 And I don't know, it doesn't really leave a nice 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:36.439 taste in my mouth. I know it's inevitable, but maybe 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.480 we'd be far off into the stars by then, or. 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:43.639 Maybe what would be extinct, and that'd be okay with 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.360 either way, because it would never really affect my personal 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:50.000 life because I've probably only lived to like nine year 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:51.000 eighty or something. 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:52.520 But it's just fugere thought. 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:56.760 Yeah, yeah, I find it and I always find it interesting. 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:03.520 And you know, someone like yourself, you know that you're 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:07.080 going to be long dead after this happens, but it's 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:22.080 still is affecting you emotionally. Yeah, how much of a 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.640 thing is this for you? Is this something you think 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:29.080 about very often? Oh? 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.560 You live every day and sometimes it's a nice thing, 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.560 like life is kind of pointless, so I should have sue. 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:41.000 It makes me happy, but sometimes it's kind of a 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:43.960 sad thing. It just kind of shows how time will 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:48.240 won't last forever. And I have pretty big plans for 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.400 my life and I feel confident enough to achieve them, 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:55.399 like I want to make music express my heart and 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:59.800 all that, but sometimes I think won't really be worth anything, because, 0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:08.400 for example, wundesses are a progress as humanity interesting. 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:14.440 So you kind of touched on this about how there's many, 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:19.879 many different ways to look at this fact that the 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.960 sun will explode and all of humanity will be destroyed, 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:29.399 which is as you said, Oh, since that's gonna happen, 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.200 I should just take advantage of it and do whatever 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.000 I want and be happy. Or you can look at 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:40.520 it from a depressing Oh nothing is matters, Why do anything. 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:44.080 That's the two choices. Nothing matters, Let's go do everything. 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:48.360 Nothing matters, Let's do nothing. And at a certain point 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:51.560 you know that this is an objective fact, but how 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.160 you respond it's an objective fact that you can't control, 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.240 but you can respond. You can control how you respond 0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:00.199 to it, which you kind of touched on already. So 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:06.680 do you find yourself being pulled in either direction depending 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:09.080 on the day, Like some days you wake up and 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:12.359 your nihilism is like, well, shit, nothing matters, let's go 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:17.119 make a crazy song, let's go talk to a stranger 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:19.840 at the park, you know, or or do you go 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:25.080 nothing matters, I'm just gonna fall asleep and not even 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:27.679 exert effort towards anything. Do you do you find yourself 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:31.880 being torn by those two thought processes? 0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:36.719 Oh yeah, all the time. I'm very on and off. 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:40.840 Yeah. Yeah. 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:44.040 Sometimes I think maybe it's like the intelligent thing to 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:48.240 just not really care and not give up this kind 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:53.639 of become epithet because what I think that's just say never, baila, 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:56.600 is maybe it's smart to accept it and maybe a 0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:59.600 gain this confidence of oh I can do whatever I want. 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:02.120 I'll give me some false hope or something. 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:07.200 Hm. So you have a fear that if you feed 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:13.040 the side of yourself that is optimistic about these these 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:16.720 nihilistic facts, that you're just giving yourself false hope. 0:21:19.400 --> 0:21:22.880 Yeah, because you know, I have pretty, like I said, 0:21:23.000 --> 0:21:25.800 big goals, but I think it's okay to get myself grounded. 0:21:26.520 --> 0:21:28.320 You know, I can go a little extreme with the 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:29.160 grounding and. 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:34.080 Be like, what's the point, Let's get into these goals. 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:34.920 With these goals. 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:43.240 From a young age, I've always been very like, I'm 0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:47.719 a talented with visual things. I'm a bit of an artist, 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:52.080 but I also want to express like feelings and emotion 0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:56.120 and concepts through music and kind of mix the two together, 0:21:57.080 --> 0:22:00.800 like make music with backs to worry for a music 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:05.640 video it's quite arts, or mixed to movies or something, 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.440 and just really express myself and try to get across 0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:13.640 these weird feelings. I sometimes I'm afraid that nobody else, whoever, 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:16.679 experience like you know, I'll be like listening to this 0:22:16.760 --> 0:22:19.480 piece of music and I'll be like, huh does them 0:22:19.560 --> 0:22:21.760 I always feel the way I do right now when 0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:23.760 I listen to this, because it makes you feel like 0:22:23.920 --> 0:22:27.240 very warm and nosthology if we're happy or sad or 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:30.800 romantic or whatever, you know, and it's like there's all 0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:33.320 this stuff, and it's like, what's the point. Maybe it's 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:36.040 okay just to keep all to myself and I have 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:39.800 my own self satisfaction, or maybe others do you want 0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:43.440 to experience my thoughts? And you know, soaking art or. 0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:50.160 Whoever, well that is kind of and let's let's get 0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:53.080 douchey in here. That is kind of what an artist 0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:58.800 is is you're taking your perspective on a thing and 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:04.600 you're sharing it with others confidently in the form of 0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:08.760 a painting, a song, lyric, a poem, a fart, whatever 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:13.960 it is. And I think that that's a worthwhile pursuit 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:19.720 in the face of, oh, all of technology, check what 0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:21.119 the fuck am I talking about, In the face of 0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:23.280 all of humanity is going to be destroyed by the 0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:30.520 sun one day. The optimistic thing would be to go, hey, 0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:33.640 all these things that I'm doing, I'll just do them 0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:37.280 for the sake of them them itself. I'm doing it 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:40.840 for the sake of it, not to leave a lasting legacy, 0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:43.800 not to get people to think that I'm a genius, 0:23:44.280 --> 0:23:47.560 but just for the sake of doing the thing. 0:23:47.600 --> 0:23:57.679 In the moment, I see ye, and I think you 0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:57.920 know that. 0:23:58.000 --> 0:23:59.879 I think you already you already know this. It sounds 0:23:59.880 --> 0:24:03.399 like you've thought about all this shit already. But the 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:10.639 the the the when you're fighting between the pessimistic and 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:13.960 the optimistic viewpoint on these uh, you know this whole 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:15.840 o the sun is going to explode, Nothing will matter 0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:20.720 it's it all depends on which wolf you feed, you know, like, 0:24:20.960 --> 0:24:23.760 which of these two are you going to feed into? 0:24:24.000 --> 0:24:28.120 And I think if you really are smart, you would 0:24:28.119 --> 0:24:32.960 feed the optimistic one because maybe is always going to 0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:37.040 lead to more than a no. The no is is nothing. 0:24:37.040 --> 0:24:40.560 There's nothing there, and you could go, oh, I'm super smart, 0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.239 so I'm just gonna not care about anything. But if 0:24:43.280 --> 0:24:46.400 you're really smart, you'll pick the maybe because that has 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:51.680 the more potential for things to happen. So so if 0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:54.359 I were you and I was was battling between these 0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:58.280 two perspectives, I would feed the one with the most potential, 0:24:58.800 --> 0:25:02.159 and that's the one that's okay, nothing matters. Let me 0:25:02.240 --> 0:25:05.640 go write a fucking song about bears. 0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.080 Yeah, I see. And in the past of how this 0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:13.720 plan where I use my creativity. So I'm into a 0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:16.960 lot more darker kind of alt music, other Big Face, 0:25:17.080 --> 0:25:20.200 Tiffy all that stuff. But I'm really into like eighties 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:23.119 goth and usually as like a darker tone. So I 0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:26.080 want to use my creativity and take advantage of that 0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:30.000 and be happy make music, but sing about these like darker, 0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:33.800 more pessimistic topics to kind of give some food you thought, 0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:36.520 you know, and you know, I'm pretty content with that idea. 0:25:36.760 --> 0:25:39.160 I don't really know if I should, but you're telling 0:25:39.200 --> 0:25:41.000 me I should, So I'm only take that to you'all. 0:25:41.000 --> 0:25:41.160 Heart. 0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:50.200 What's your name again? Landon? Yeah? You know what, man, 0:25:50.440 --> 0:25:53.760 I I like thinking about this kind of stuff because 0:25:53.760 --> 0:25:56.760 it is true, and it's interesting to me because I'm 0:25:56.840 --> 0:26:00.280 I'm I think I'm self centered in the sense that 0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:04.080 I truly could give a fuck about what happens, you know, 0:26:04.160 --> 0:26:07.359 to the universe. Uh, you know, there's all this talk 0:26:07.400 --> 0:26:09.679 about here's what I'm gonna get, you know, flamed, but 0:26:09.800 --> 0:26:12.600 there's let's talk about class and this is being I'm 0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:15.640 half kidding, but it's funny to me, Like, I know, 0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:19.119 if society falls and the sun explodes and the Earth explodes, 0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:23.000