1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:05,160
Speaker 1: Let's talk to Chris. Who is this Chris?

2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:05,960
Speaker 2: Hi?

3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 1: What's going on?

4
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:08,640
Speaker 3: Hey?

5
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:09,040
Speaker 4: Are you?

6
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm a gecko on the computer, Chris. It

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:19,160
Speaker 1: says here that you've been getting angry very often, says

8
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,759
Speaker 1: you have a short temper, and you want to know

9
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,640
Speaker 1: why you've been getting angry easily?

10
00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:29,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, that that has been the case. A lot of

11
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,479
Speaker 5: people have been pointing that out. And you know, just

12
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,760
Speaker 5: after a certain situations or after a day, I'll think

13
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,519
Speaker 5: back on it. I'll be like, maybe I maybe I

14
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:45,280
Speaker 5: did overreacting, but I didn't used to be like that.

15
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:46,600
Speaker 5: Just the thing.

16
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,559
Speaker 1: Interesting, Okay, So what when you said that you're short tempered?

17
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,840
Speaker 1: Now you get angry recently? Like what sorts of things

18
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,280
Speaker 1: have been making you angry?

19
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:13,720
Speaker 5: Like like the small things, like for example, like if

20
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,880
Speaker 5: somebody were to ask me, like a really dumb question

21
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,320
Speaker 5: when they could answer themselves, like without having to ask.

22
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:25,800
Speaker 1: Me, give me an example of a question like that.

23
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,480
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean a good example I could give

24
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,880
Speaker 5: you is like if I'm if I park right next

25
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,399
Speaker 5: to the gas station after my car started beeping like

26
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,759
Speaker 5: low gas, and you know, the person in the passenger

27
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,880
Speaker 5: seat were asking me like, oh, we're getting gass like, yes,

28
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,040
Speaker 5: you know, ship your luck.

29
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,840
Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, but I mean, okay, so that and that

30
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,480
Speaker 1: and something a little thing, a little thing like that

31
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 1: just gets at you and makes you man, Yes.

32
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,720
Speaker 5: But it's more like the accumulation of all those things

33
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:01,560
Speaker 5: in like one day.

34
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So that's what I was gonna say. Is

35
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not a real therapist. I'm a gecko

36
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,520
Speaker 1: guy on the internet who is insane. But my hypothesis

37
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 1: on this thing is that obviously you know, and you

38
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:22,880
Speaker 1: know this, everyone knows you're not actually mad that your

39
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 1: friend asked you that question. Your anger is coming from

40
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:32,959
Speaker 1: a different place or from a as you said, accumulation of

41
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,280
Speaker 1: multiple things. And so I'm curious maybe we can get

42
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 1: there where this anger is being redirected from. Do you

43
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:48,119
Speaker 1: have any ideas.

44
00:02:47,360 --> 00:03:00,960
Speaker 5: That's a good point, hmm, I mean, I I would

45
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:01,880
Speaker 5: have to think about that.

46
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,360
Speaker 1: Tell tell me this, how is your how is your

47
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 1: life going? Just on a macro level.

48
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,280
Speaker 5: I mean, in my opinion, I'm really just starting it

49
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,160
Speaker 5: because after high school, which is like twenty twenty, you know,

50
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:24,960
Speaker 5: beginning of COVID all that, that's when I kind of

51
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,760
Speaker 5: became a homebody, you know, and I'm still kind of

52
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:35,200
Speaker 5: used to that. And I took a break from college

53
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:41,240
Speaker 5: and I'm just starting that off now too, So yeah,

54
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 5: pretty much just at the start of things.

55
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,560
Speaker 1: Okay, So you at the start of things and you

56
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:53,400
Speaker 1: said you took a break from college and now you're back. Yes, Okay,

57
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,600
Speaker 1: how are you enjoying college?

58
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,400
Speaker 5: I mean it's not too bad. I'm actually doing it

59
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,200
Speaker 5: with my girlfriend, and she's the one that convinced me to,

60
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 5: you know, go back, give it a try, and you know,

61
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,440
Speaker 5: after some talking, I'm trying to realize it probably is

62
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 5: the easiest way to my perior path.

63
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,600
Speaker 1: Okay, how are things are going with your girlfriend?

64
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 5: I would say pretty good. I mean we've been together

65
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 5: for about a year and hast so yeah, I don't

66
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,560
Speaker 5: see any problems with her, but I mean she is

67
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,279
Speaker 5: one of the people that have pointed out that I

68
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:35,440
Speaker 5: get pretty uh angry quick.

69
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so things are going well with the girlfriends.

70
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:47,200
Speaker 1: You're at the beginning of your your life path, as

71
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,120
Speaker 1: you've said, are you do you? Are you? Are you

72
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,600
Speaker 1: having feelings of excitement? Are you you know there's a

73
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,560
Speaker 1: lot of potential energy with you right now? Are you

74
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,360
Speaker 1: like excited about what's to come.

75
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 5: I definitely kind of have like a love of hate

76
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:08,520
Speaker 5: relationship with it because I never liked school. You know,

77
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,760
Speaker 5: that's one of the reasons why I took a break

78
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,040
Speaker 5: in the first place. But like I said, it just

79
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,080
Speaker 5: makes sense how it's the easiest way to what I

80
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,960
Speaker 5: want to do. KA, So I'm just gonna give it

81
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 5: a try, give in my all.

82
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:27,280
Speaker 1: I guess, all right, So there's no anything going on

83
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,400
Speaker 1: in your life that is like, at least from what

84
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 1: I'm gathering from what you're telling me, that is causing

85
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,039
Speaker 1: you a lot of anger and frustration in a big way.

86
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,400
Speaker 5: I mean, I guess, I mean, I guess maybe like

87
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,280
Speaker 5: job wise, I could be fucking struggling a little bit.

88
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,800
Speaker 5: That that's I have a few regrets with my job choices.

89
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:55,200
Speaker 1: Why is that?

90
00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,800
Speaker 5: Because I mean, I want to say, a year ago,

91
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,440
Speaker 5: I used to have like a really good job, like

92
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:09,160
Speaker 5: really good, and I quit because I don't know, I

93
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 5: don't know why I quit, Like I should have just

94
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,680
Speaker 5: dealt with with what was like happening, But you know,

95
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,160
Speaker 5: I just got a I guess I got a little

96
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,400
Speaker 5: too quick with it and I quit, sure, and I

97
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,599
Speaker 5: regret it. I fund a job that good since I've had.

98
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,400
Speaker 1: It, okay and disregret. Is it just like a passing

99
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 1: thing or is it? Is it a prevalent source of

100
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 1: anger in your day to day life.

101
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 5: I mean, I think about it frequently because it's like,

102
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,839
Speaker 5: right now, what I do is the job is I

103
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,960
Speaker 5: kind of just help out my father with you know,

104
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:54,919
Speaker 5: his job, and he pays me, and you know, that's

105
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,479
Speaker 5: just how I get my money. I'm able to pay

106
00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 5: like most of my stuff like that, but before I

107
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,280
Speaker 5: didn't really have to rely on you know, my dad

108
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,279
Speaker 5: or anything too, Like if my bills come through, it's

109
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 5: just like, yeah, he he owes me money because like,

110
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,040
Speaker 5: oh we did the work. But it just stucks having

111
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,800
Speaker 5: to go up to him like hey, can you send

112
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,920
Speaker 5: me the amount that I need and shit, or like

113
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,320
Speaker 5: I need money to go out. It's like I know

114
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:25,120
Speaker 5: I could probably just you know, I can always just

115
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,040
Speaker 5: ask him because it's it's my money, he said, I

116
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,440
Speaker 5: just have to. It's like whenever it's available.

117
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,720
Speaker 1: It'll be there. But all right, so none of this stuff,

118
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,160
Speaker 1: I mean, if it doesn't sound like any of these stuff,

119
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,440
Speaker 1: I'm trying to poke around your brain and life and

120
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,280
Speaker 1: find anything that could be like really frustrating you. But

121
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,120
Speaker 1: it doesn't at least sound to me. I mean, sure,

122
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,920
Speaker 1: you have this regret about your job, but you know

123
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 1: you're a human being. No human being has ever, you know,

124
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:59,160
Speaker 1: lived with absolutely no regrets of anything ever. And it

125
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,840
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like, at least to me from the limited

126
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,200
Speaker 1: amount of information you've given me, that there is any

127
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 1: large pain points. So I'm wondering why you're still getting

128
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 1: upset at these little things, or like, what is triggering

129
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,040
Speaker 1: you to have such like.

130
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 5: Style right the best and honestly described like the the

131
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,080
Speaker 5: you know, so I guess me things is like when

132
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 5: when something doesn't work how it's supposed to. Like if

133
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,520
Speaker 5: if one day, if I wake up in my daytube

134
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,560
Speaker 5: likes aren't working like this is just an example, then

135
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,880
Speaker 5: I'll get mad at like I'll like sort some ship

136
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 5: and I would just ruin my morning.

137
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:57,640
Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, you should read it. I'm gonna go. Can

138
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:04,000
Speaker 1: I have permission to say some doucheese? Of course you

139
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:08,640
Speaker 1: should read up on stoic philosophy. I'm not going to

140
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,760
Speaker 1: sit here and pretend like I've read a whole bunch

141
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,040
Speaker 1: of books on it. But I feel like, you know

142
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:20,280
Speaker 1: the crux of it is, you know, accepting things that

143
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:25,160
Speaker 1: you cannot control. See when you you have to. You

144
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:30,400
Speaker 1: gotta understand when you wake up and you get upset

145
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,959
Speaker 1: that your Bluetooth is not working, you are are wasting

146
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:42,560
Speaker 1: precious energy toward absolutely nothing productive, like this thing happened,

147
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,520
Speaker 1: and getting upset about it. It will not benefit you

148
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,840
Speaker 1: in the slightest. It won't motivate you to do anything

149
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:56,120
Speaker 1: about it. It is nothing but a pure waste of

150
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,760
Speaker 1: your precious energy to get upset about your bluetooth not working.

151
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,560
Speaker 1: And I think that it takes a little bit of time,

152
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,319
Speaker 1: Like you know, you could hear me say that and go, oh, yeah,

153
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:13,199
Speaker 1: I guess you're right. But to really change your gut reaction,

154
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:18,440
Speaker 1: you've got to train yourself to understand that, and you

155
00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,520
Speaker 1: have to do this in an intentional way. So tomorrow,

156
00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,600
Speaker 1: when you wake up and your Bluetooth doesn't work, your

157
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:29,720
Speaker 1: gut reaction will be to get upset, and you have

158
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:36,480
Speaker 1: to intervene and stop the gut reaction by saying to yourself,

159
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,679
Speaker 1: this is a waste of energy. It's not going to

160
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,040
Speaker 1: do anything. You know, I will just accept this and

161
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,720
Speaker 1: move on with my day. And the more mornings that

162
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 1: you do that, when your Bluetooth isn't working or when

163
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,600
Speaker 1: your friend asks you why you're getting gas, your gut

164
00:10:52,640 --> 00:11:00,319
Speaker 1: reaction will slowly start to be replaced by that thought.

165
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:01,840
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

166
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense. So yeah, yeah I should,

167
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:11,680
Speaker 5: that's for sure.

168
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,400
Speaker 1: So next time you you just just do do this.

169
00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:24,600
Speaker 1: You know, your your anger and your frustration occasionally can

170
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,760
Speaker 1: be a useful tool if it propels you into some

171
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,640
Speaker 1: form of action that can be beneficial to the situation

172
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:39,640
Speaker 1: you're in. But like most of the time, it's just

173
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:46,840
Speaker 1: a complete and utter waste of your precious energy, you know,

174
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,880
Speaker 1: because if you go around being fucking pissed off at

175
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,680
Speaker 1: every single opportunity that you have to get pissed off,

176
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,240
Speaker 1: you're're gonna be miserable.

177
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:58,440
Speaker 5: You know.

178
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,040
Speaker 1: Like if you're there are these people who uh you know, uh,

179
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,880
Speaker 1: like if I'm in the passenger car with somebody who

180
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,520
Speaker 1: is like an angry driver and they're always beeping or

181
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 1: like somebody, let's say, cuts them off in traffic, and

182
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,160
Speaker 1: then five minutes later they're still talking about the person

183
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,160
Speaker 1: that cuts them off in traffic, It's like, what are

184
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,199
Speaker 1: you doing? Just be like, oh fuck, that happens, and

185
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,440
Speaker 1: then completely move on with your life. It's it's it's

186
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 1: not an effective way to be to get pissed off

187
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,680
Speaker 1: at every opportunity that you have to get pissed off.

188
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, honestly, that's That was a pretty good example

189
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,559
Speaker 5: of like a few of my days.

190
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,280
Speaker 1: Okay, is that a thing for you? You get pissed

191
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:49,920
Speaker 1: off and like traffic, key car situations.

192
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 5: Yes, like absolutely, yes, yeah.

193
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:02,560
Speaker 1: Man, just just try to recognize what your gut reaction

194
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,760
Speaker 1: is to these situations, like get on the step ladder

195
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,080
Speaker 1: and observe your own reactions and then put forth intentional

196
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 1: effort to change them.

197
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 5: Here, here's something funny that happened this one time. So,

198
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,640
Speaker 5: like I said, I'm not a very good traffic person,

199
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 5: so I try to avoid that as much as possible.

200
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 5: My girl is like thirty mints away from me. Like

201
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,640
Speaker 5: with traffic, it's an hour, but I don't mind it

202
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:35,400
Speaker 5: at all. But usually I dropped off at like two

203
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,640
Speaker 5: in the morning because that was after work. We used

204
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,559
Speaker 5: to work at like a movie theater, and then I

205
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,960
Speaker 5: would just go back home late at night. One day,

206
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,640
Speaker 5: I dropped off early, and I forgot that the roads

207
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:51,000
Speaker 5: would probably be you know full, but it was like whatever,

208
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 5: I get on the road and this one time, like

209
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,520
Speaker 5: bumper the number traffic moving five months while on the highway,

210
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:03,400
Speaker 5: and I said, you know what, it's okay, we'll get

211
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,560
Speaker 5: home eventually. You know, it was a good day. We'll

212
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:10,560
Speaker 5: just relaxed, sit back, listen to a podcasts. Right. Yeah,

213
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 5: my car overheated because of how long hours in traffic

214
00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,960
Speaker 5: and I had to pull over and waited until like

215
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 5: twelve am to actually start getting home.

216
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

217
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,480
Speaker 5: Then the one time I wasn't impatient.

218
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,720
Speaker 1: And that pissed you off.

219
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 5: Yes, like unbelievably.

220
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,880
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I mean, listen, it sounds like in that situation,

221
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 1: you did the best you could. But you'll get Listen, man,

222
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 1: you'll get to a point where you'll you'll you'll be like,

223
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 1: I mean, looking back on that now, I mean, that's

224
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 1: super funny that you were patient in this. It's funny.

225
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,680
Speaker 1: It's funny. You see, it's funny. Now maybe next time

226
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 1: when it happens, you'll recognize that it's funny in the

227
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 1: moment and that'll help you in some way.

228
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, hopefully.

229
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 1: No, that was definitely like, Chris, is there anything else

230
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer

231
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,240
Speaker 1: before we go.

232
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,160
Speaker 2: Don't let the.

233
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,920
Speaker 5: Small thing bother you, guys, It's not worth it.

234
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:28,480
Speaker 1: Beautiful.

235
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, have a good night, Geck did you.

236
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:36,320
Speaker 1: Call on Chris every night? But just just to really,

237
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,440
Speaker 1: just to clarify, just to just to clarify, I've probably

238
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,080
Speaker 1: I bought a book on Stoic philosophy, and I probably

239
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 1: read twenty five pages of it. And that's about how

240
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:57,600
Speaker 1: much I've read. Just because I's it's really important to

241
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 1: me that I don't create a false narrative of who

242
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,280
Speaker 1: I am that involves me being a guy who reads

243
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: a lot of books. I've probably read four books over

244
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 1: the course of my entire existence. I just want to

245
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:20,720
Speaker 1: clear that up. Hello. Hello, is this Landon?

246
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 3: Yes? It is.

247
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? Landon?

248
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 3: I am currently in my house playing Halo.

249
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: You are currently in your house playing Halo, Yes.

250
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 3: The useless studio game, And I want to talk to

251
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,000
Speaker 3: you about how I well, I don't think it's a

252
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 3: fact that around five billion years the Sun is going

253
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:44,360
Speaker 3: to blow up and the Earth is absolutely in the radius,

254
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,480
Speaker 3: and the Earth will be unhabitable and the humanity, if

255
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 3: it's still on Earth, will be dead by then.

256
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it says here that you have a fear

257
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 1: that the sun will eventually blow up the earth long

258
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 1: after you're dead. Yeah, okay, so why why does that

259
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 1: scare you? The sun blowing up the earth?

260
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 3: Whoa, you know, it's been around for a while, but

261
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:17,400
Speaker 3: not for that long compared to the life of the Earth.

262
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 3: We're fucking useless. But all the progress we've made as

263
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 3: a species, all we've developed, we'll kind of always be

264
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,640
Speaker 3: taken away from us.

265
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 6: And I don't know, it doesn't really leave a nice

266
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 6: taste in my mouth. I know it's inevitable, but maybe

267
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 6: we'd be far off into the stars by then, or.

268
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,639
Speaker 7: Maybe what would be extinct, and that'd be okay with

269
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 7: either way, because it would never really affect my personal

270
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,000
Speaker 7: life because I've probably only lived to like nine year

271
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,000
Speaker 7: eighty or something.

272
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 3: But it's just fugere thought.

273
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I find it and I always find it interesting.

274
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 1: And you know, someone like yourself, you know that you're

275
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,080
Speaker 1: going to be long dead after this happens, but it's

276
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 1: still is affecting you emotionally. Yeah, how much of a

277
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,640
Speaker 1: thing is this for you? Is this something you think

278
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 1: about very often? Oh?

279
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 3: You live every day and sometimes it's a nice thing,

280
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 3: like life is kind of pointless, so I should have sue.

281
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 3: It makes me happy, but sometimes it's kind of a

282
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 3: sad thing. It just kind of shows how time will

283
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 3: won't last forever. And I have pretty big plans for

284
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 3: my life and I feel confident enough to achieve them,

285
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,399
Speaker 3: like I want to make music express my heart and

286
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 3: all that, but sometimes I think won't really be worth anything, because,

287
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 3: for example, wundesses are a progress as humanity interesting.

288
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 1: So you kind of touched on this about how there's many,

289
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:19,879
Speaker 1: many different ways to look at this fact that the

290
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 1: sun will explode and all of humanity will be destroyed,

291
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 1: which is as you said, Oh, since that's gonna happen,

292
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 1: I should just take advantage of it and do whatever

293
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: I want and be happy. Or you can look at

294
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 1: it from a depressing Oh nothing is matters, Why do anything.

295
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 1: That's the two choices. Nothing matters, Let's go do everything.

296
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 1: Nothing matters, Let's do nothing. And at a certain point

297
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 1: you know that this is an objective fact, but how

298
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,160
Speaker 1: you respond it's an objective fact that you can't control,

299
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: but you can respond. You can control how you respond

300
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 1: to it, which you kind of touched on already. So

301
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 1: do you find yourself being pulled in either direction depending

302
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: on the day, Like some days you wake up and

303
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 1: your nihilism is like, well, shit, nothing matters, let's go

304
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 1: make a crazy song, let's go talk to a stranger

305
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: at the park, you know, or or do you go

306
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 1: nothing matters, I'm just gonna fall asleep and not even

307
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 1: exert effort towards anything. Do you do you find yourself

308
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 1: being torn by those two thought processes?

309
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,719
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, all the time. I'm very on and off.

310
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

311
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 3: Sometimes I think maybe it's like the intelligent thing to

312
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 3: just not really care and not give up this kind

313
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 3: of become epithet because what I think that's just say never, baila,

314
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: is maybe it's smart to accept it and maybe a

315
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 3: gain this confidence of oh I can do whatever I want.

316
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 3: I'll give me some false hope or something.

317
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 1: Hm. So you have a fear that if you feed

318
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 1: the side of yourself that is optimistic about these these

319
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 1: nihilistic facts, that you're just giving yourself false hope.

320
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you know, I have pretty, like I said,

321
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 3: big goals, but I think it's okay to get myself grounded.

322
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 3: You know, I can go a little extreme with the

323
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 3: grounding and.

324
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: Be like, what's the point, Let's get into these goals.

325
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: With these goals.

326
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: From a young age, I've always been very like, I'm

327
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:47,719
Speaker 3: a talented with visual things. I'm a bit of an artist,

328
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 3: but I also want to express like feelings and emotion

329
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 3: and concepts through music and kind of mix the two together,

330
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 3: like make music with backs to worry for a music

331
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 3: video it's quite arts, or mixed to movies or something,

332
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 3: and just really express myself and try to get across

333
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 3: these weird feelings. I sometimes I'm afraid that nobody else, whoever,

334
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 3: experience like you know, I'll be like listening to this

335
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 3: piece of music and I'll be like, huh does them

336
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 3: I always feel the way I do right now when

337
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 3: I listen to this, because it makes you feel like

338
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 3: very warm and nosthology if we're happy or sad or

339
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 3: romantic or whatever, you know, and it's like there's all

340
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 3: this stuff, and it's like, what's the point. Maybe it's

341
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: okay just to keep all to myself and I have

342
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 3: my own self satisfaction, or maybe others do you want

343
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 3: to experience my thoughts? And you know, soaking art or.

344
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 1: Whoever, well that is kind of and let's let's get

345
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: douchey in here. That is kind of what an artist

346
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: is is you're taking your perspective on a thing and

347
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: you're sharing it with others confidently in the form of

348
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: a painting, a song, lyric, a poem, a fart, whatever

349
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: it is. And I think that that's a worthwhile pursuit

350
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: in the face of, oh, all of technology, check what

351
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: the fuck am I talking about, In the face of

352
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: all of humanity is going to be destroyed by the

353
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: sun one day. The optimistic thing would be to go, hey,

354
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 1: all these things that I'm doing, I'll just do them

355
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 1: for the sake of them them itself. I'm doing it

356
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: for the sake of it, not to leave a lasting legacy,

357
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: not to get people to think that I'm a genius,

358
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: but just for the sake of doing the thing.

359
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 4: In the moment, I see ye, and I think you

360
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 4: know that.

361
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 1: I think you already you already know this. It sounds

362
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 1: like you've thought about all this shit already. But the

363
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 1: the the the when you're fighting between the pessimistic and

364
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 1: the optimistic viewpoint on these uh, you know this whole

365
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: o the sun is going to explode, Nothing will matter

366
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: it's it all depends on which wolf you feed, you know, like,

367
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: which of these two are you going to feed into?

368
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 1: And I think if you really are smart, you would

369
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 1: feed the optimistic one because maybe is always going to

370
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: lead to more than a no. The no is is nothing.

371
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: There's nothing there, and you could go, oh, I'm super smart,

372
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,239
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna not care about anything. But if

373
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: you're really smart, you'll pick the maybe because that has

374
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: the more potential for things to happen. So so if

375
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: I were you and I was was battling between these

376
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: two perspectives, I would feed the one with the most potential,

377
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: and that's the one that's okay, nothing matters. Let me

378
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 1: go write a fucking song about bears.

379
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I see. And in the past of how this

380
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: plan where I use my creativity. So I'm into a

381
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 3: lot more darker kind of alt music, other Big Face,

382
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 3: Tiffy all that stuff. But I'm really into like eighties

383
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 3: goth and usually as like a darker tone. So I

384
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 3: want to use my creativity and take advantage of that

385
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: and be happy make music, but sing about these like darker,

386
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 3: more pessimistic topics to kind of give some food you thought,

387
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 3: you know, and you know, I'm pretty content with that idea.

388
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 3: I don't really know if I should, but you're telling

389
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 3: me I should, So I'm only take that to you'all.

390
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 2: Heart.

391
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: What's your name again? Landon? Yeah? You know what, man,

392
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: I I like thinking about this kind of stuff because

393
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: it is true, and it's interesting to me because I'm

394
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: I'm I think I'm self centered in the sense that

395
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: I truly could give a fuck about what happens, you know,

396
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: to the universe. Uh, you know, there's all this talk

397
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: about here's what I'm gonna get, you know, flamed, but

398
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: there's let's talk about class and this is being I'm

399
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 1: half kidding, but it's funny to me, Like, I know,

400
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: if society falls and the sun explodes and the Earth explodes,

401
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: it's like, we had I've said this so many times,

402
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: but we had a good run. You know, we did

403
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: stuff with There were people. Some of the people had

404
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: good lives, The people felt things, the people loved people,

405
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: the people made things. They eight things. We tried, we failed,

406
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 1: and now the you know, earth is going to explode.

407
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: What what?

408
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 4: What?

409
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,239
Speaker 1: What? What do we need more time to do? We

410
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: did it. We had a good run. Let's accept it.

411
00:26:54,920 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 1: And all die and let whatever alien creature dog thing

412
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: comes next do its thing. You know, why do we

413
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 1: need to be saved?

414
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think about Well, there's this term caused like

415
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 3: the great filter, which is like any species, there's on't

416
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 3: hns great filture that kills it. I kind of have

417
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 3: a theory because we're pretty advanced creature. It's very emotionally complex,

418
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 3: and there's all these problems that come from our netives

419
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 3: emotions like war from hate and all that, or and

420
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 3: we have a lot of love and joy too, and

421
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 3: beauty by the time that the sun blows up. This

422
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 3: is really stupid. Probably what happened. Like the scientists. I've

423
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 3: actually considered writing story about this. The scientists make this

424
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 3: like time capsule that saves all of our history and

425
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 3: stuff before we die, right, and it's I don't fucking know,

426
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 3: it's some system that's protected from the sun and billions

427
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 3: and billions and trillions of years there if like a

428
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 3: new species evolves or aliens come or you know, this

429
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 3: new species evolves and it's a television enough to understand

430
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: and kind to see these signs and all of that.

431
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 3: They can learn from our mistakes and maybe gain from

432
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: our knowledge and all of.

433
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: That, and then one day they'll die, you know, because

434
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: they'll give it. They'll probably live longer than we did.

435
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: They'll give it a good shot, and then eventually they'll

436
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: fuck up and die, and then maybe they'll leave a

437
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: time capsule, and then the super advanced h flamingo people

438
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: will pick up on theirs, and then we'll just keep

439
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: going until we have giant spiders who are like masters

440
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: of science and technology. Yeah, hey, Landed, is there anything

441
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the

442
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: computer before we go?

443
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 3: You're a pretty cool guy. Got cool. I spend all

444
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: my time. I think you're a podcast and all, and

445
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 3: this is my first time calling you. I feel like

446
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 3: he was a kind of decent call. And keep on

447
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 3: doing what you do people. He's a cool get cool guy, and.

448
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: So I feel like this was a kind of decent

449
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 1: call to Landon and I appreciate you making it. Hey there, Hey, Hi,

450
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: what's your name?

451
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 2: My name is Bois?

452
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: Uh fucking say that again?

453
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: Bois?

454
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: Can I call you bo?

455
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

456
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what called me?

457
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: Jim Bow?

458
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: Is that a Is that like a like a username

459
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: of some kind?

460
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: No, No, it's just a made up name.

461
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 8: I got a nickname.

462
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: I got I go buy manys.

463
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,479
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't feel bad calling you by a different

464
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: version of your made up name. Okay, Bo, Yeah, what's up?

465
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 3: Bo?

466
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: What did you want to talk about today?

467
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 2: Uh? Well, you know, I'm kind of like stuck right now.

468
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: I'm stuck in a job that I know I do

469
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 2: a lot of good work, but it just feels like

470
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: a lot of the people that are there really don't

471
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 2: give a ship. But it's for a good cause, you know,

472
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 2: and I just for my livelihood sake. I don't want

473
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: to name any particular names, right, but it's it's it's

474
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: for a good cause. Though. You know, we work with

475
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: high end kids, you know, DCFS kids, kids that go

476
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 2: through a lot of issues, and we provide them a

477
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: safe space. But I don't know if you know, but

478
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, the nation is is we're in

479
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: a tough spot as far as like providing services and

480
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: trying to maintain those services. And the first thing cut

481
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 2: is mental health.

482
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: Right. So okay, Yeah, So.

483
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 2: I've been at this place for a pretty long time

484
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: and I don't want to name how long, but I'm

485
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 2: coming up on a pretty interesting a year because this

486
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: is a pretty big mark here as far as how

487
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: long I've been there. But I just don't feel like

488
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: there's any room for me to grow, you know. And

489
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: it's it's challenging, and I've asked and I just don't

490
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: know what else to do. I know, if I do

491
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: something else, it won't be as fulfilling, but I'll probably

492
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: make more money. That's that's the conundrum I'm in. I

493
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: I kind of want like a purpose.

494
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: Well, I'm just a wise man. Did once say fuck

495
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: them kids?

496
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 2: Yeah?

497
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: And sometimes in life you do have to get up

498
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 1: and say fuck them kids. I got to go do

499
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 1: something else. No offense to the kids. I'm sure they're

500
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: great kids, but you've been there for so long that

501
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: you have lost count and now it seems as though

502
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: you've given them all you have.

503
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel depleted. It's every day is mundane, the

504
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: same thing over and over again, but wearing many hats

505
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: type of thing.

506
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: You know, So so give me this. What what what's

507
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: if you were to to, you know, say sayonara to

508
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: the children, what would you want to then go do?

509
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? That's the thing. I don't know. Man. I've been

510
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 2: trying to reach out to all my contacts and just

511
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: trying to get a feel of what's out there. I

512
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 2: don't know. I mean, I have many different interests. I

513
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,479
Speaker 2: like working with my hands. I like being outside. I

514
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 2: like working in the garden. I like I like producing

515
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: things like I like networking. I like talking with people.

516
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: I like creating bridges. I like helping other people.

517
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: You know, well, I mean you just named like fifty

518
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: different things which could all fifty. Well it's a good thing,

519
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: right because you named five zero different things, and now

520
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: all of those things can bridge off into lots of

521
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: other career paths. And so one thing I talk about

522
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: on this show all the time that I think about

523
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: a lot is like the underlying desire as to why

524
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: you do whatever it is you do. And if the

525
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: underlying desires to as to why you work with these

526
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: kids can be fulfilled in a way that you know

527
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: doesn't make you want to kill yourself, then you should

528
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: explore that that option.

529
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, you see I I've.

530
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: Been thinking about this with with myself too. I've gone

531
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: through a few uh changes in scenery in my own life.

532
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: And once you lose, once you lose the you're done. Sure.

533
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I used to run a fucking My whole

534
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: thing was I ran a comedy club at my basement,

535
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 1: and then that got shut down because the landlord saw

536
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: on Instagram ad that I was running and was like,

537
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: is that my fucking house?

538
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 4: They got salty, yeah, and then I and.

539
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: Then I don't know, I I and that was like

540
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: my everything you and I couldn't do it anymore. And

541
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: I had to figure out what I liked in doing that.

542
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: You know, maybe I liked bringing folks together, maybe I

543
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: liked community. I don't know, just the underlying principles as

544
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: to why I liked that, and then go try to

545
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: take those underlying principles and apply them to something else,

546
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: you know. And so I think if you can do it,

547
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: I think when you become tunnel visions onto any specific thing,

548
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 1: you kind of fuck yourself a little bit, right you

549
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 1: come to you you attach yourself to a company, a job,

550
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: a person of this that as opposed to attaching yourself

551
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 1: to like underlying principles, underlying desires. And I've realized, I've

552
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: kind of realized, but mine are, which is that I

553
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: just want to be doing something. I literally have it

554
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: boiled down to I just want to be doing something interesting.

555
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: It's all I care about I think. I mean, I

556
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: probably care about a lot more than that, and I

557
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: probably have a lot more underlying desires, but that's one

558
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: that I always go back to. I just want to

559
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: be doing something interesting. And if that's, yeah, you know,

560
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 1: throwing basement shows things, or being a gecko and talking

561
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:29,879
Speaker 1: to strangers, or you know, growing corn in Iran, then

562
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: you know whatever, I just as long as it's something.

563
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: So I've I've regaled myself to that. By the way,

564
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,959
Speaker 1: I'm horrible at taking I want you to know something.

565
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 1: I want everyone listen. I'm horrible at taking the advice

566
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: that I just gave you. I'm horrible at taking the

567
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 1: advice I just gave you because it's hard because you

568
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,240
Speaker 1: get attached to your thing. You'd think I'm not fucking

569
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,280
Speaker 1: attached to being a gecko and talking about I couldn't

570
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: give this up easily. I'd like to think I could,

571
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: because of all the things that I'm talking to you about.

572
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: I'd like to be better at following my own advice.

573
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: I understand why you have the attachment to your current position.

574
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot in it, and to totally

575
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: change up your life is not an easy thing. But

576
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: these are these are things that I think about.

577
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean it's a there's a lot of weight

578
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 8: to it, and I can relate. I think with you,

579
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 8: you have a following. I don't know how many millions

580
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 8: of people are following you. I'm sure you have a

581
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 8: really huge following. Okay, you know you have you have

582
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 8: that that passion and that interest, and it's very cool.

583
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 2: It's cool to watch.

584
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 8: And I I think I randomly found you on I

585
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 8: don't know on YouTube.

586
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 1: Where you tell me where you found me from? Why

587
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think me having a

588
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: following has to do with this?

589
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 8: I can't can you repeat that? Hold on something that's

590
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 8: happening here?

591
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: M What do you think me having a follow up

592
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 1: has to do with that?

593
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 8: I think it.

594
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: I think it pushes you.

595
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 8: If I think it pushes you to keep going, and

596
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 8: you have so many you have so many irons in

597
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 8: the pot, I think it's really pushing you.

598
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree. I think it's a terrible thing to

599
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: be pushing me. I think it's a bad thing to

600
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: push me. I should I mean, look you have I mean,

601
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: look you have your job. I'm sure you're pushed by

602
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 1: uh money, I'm sure you're pushed by uh, expectations of

603
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: the people at your job who've employed you. I'm sure

604
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: you're pushed by uh, these kids and A and a

605
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:56,320
Speaker 1: desire to avoid any guilt you might have of leaving

606
00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: them behind. And so I don't know is A is

607
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 1: other people's expectations, which is what A following is?

608
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 7: Money and.

609
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 1: Guilt.

610
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 8: I think it's my old expectations I put on myself too.

611
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: Sure, but are those Are those all good things to

612
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: be your driving force as to why you wake up

613
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 1: in the morning, Yeah, it's probably not. Probably not. I

614
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: think you and I are discovering this together.

615
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 8: Yeah, but it feels like it's an assistency and task,

616
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 8: you know, no matter what I do, how hard I

617
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 8: try to recruit to get people to work at this

618
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 8: high end place.

619
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: See, now you're kind of learning a little bit more

620
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: about me. I really didn't want to share all that,

621
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 2: but it's never enough, and it's.

622
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 8: Never going to be enough.

623
00:39:55,280 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 2: But you know, I have many other interests besides just this.

624
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: There's much more to me, and I maybe I need

625
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 2: to start exploring some of that stuff too, because in

626
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 2: some ways I feel like I've kind of lost myself

627
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 2: in a way. You know, by not doing the other

628
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 2: things that make me happy outside of work.

629
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, what's your fake name again?

630
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 8: Huh?

631
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 4: Bo Bo?

632
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: Listen. I want you to know if you do. And

633
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you what to do because

634
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: I've resigned to not bring that, even though I kind

635
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: of totally did. When you're walking out of there and

636
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: a little kid with like dirt on his face or whatever,

637
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: someone like an Oliver Twist kind of looking, is what

638
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm imagining, is like holding holding you is holding you

639
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: by the leg and going, mister bow, please don't go.

640
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: I need you, mister bo, please don't go. Don't don't

641
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 1: listen to him. You should go right right?

642
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 8: Yeah, And I hear that, and and I appreciate your time.

643
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 8: And I was actually trying to call in here. I

644
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 8: don't know how many times. But my name on your

645
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 8: list is uh a rang a tang. So if you

646
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 8: see me, I'm I'm I'm on this somewhere.

647
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: What list?

648
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 8: Uh the the chat list?

649
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right. The sentence my name on your

650
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: list is a rangutang meant very little to me without

651
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 1: any context I had.

652
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm sorry, I do that sometimes, I guess.

653
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but thank you.

654
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 8: Thank you for your time, and I wanna I'm gonna

655
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 8: stick around here. I want to see what else other

656
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 8: people can what they got going on. I want to

657
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 8: hear how they go.

658
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: So thank you very much. Bo. I appreciate you. Man.

659
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: You take care you too.

660
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 9: All from Bianca.

661
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:56,720
Speaker 5: Hello, Hi, Oh my goodness.

662
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 1: What's up? How's life? Life is good? Why is it good?

663
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: I don't know.

664
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 9: Honestly, I think it's because you answered my call.

665
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 1: That is a terrible reason for your life to be good.

666
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be one hundred percent honest with you, and

667
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: it's a terrible reason for your life to be good.

668
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 2: Okay, well do you but.

669
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: You understand why I'm saying that, right?

670
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 3: Oh?

671
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I guess.

672
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 1: Me answering because when when I think, when you're thinking

673
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: about the pillars of what makes your life enjoyable to live,

674
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: if one of them is the fact that you're on

675
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 1: the phone with me right now, that's a bad pillar

676
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: because I don't know when, but eventually, eventually we won't

677
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,240
Speaker 1: be on the phone together.

678
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 9: Well I know, but you know, hard to get like

679
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 9: on your stream and like connect to you.

680
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry for being a dick, but I know

681
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: whatever That's what I felt at that moment. Bianca, what

682
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 1: is is there any what did you want to talk

683
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: about today? Well?

684
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 9: I had a few things on my mind, but I

685
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:08,760
Speaker 9: think the main thing is like my friends, like they're like, okay,

686
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 9: I love them possessed, don't get me wrong, but like

687
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 9: I feel like my friend I'm not going to name

688
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 9: any names because what if they're watching, but my one friend,

689
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 9: she is like controlling of her boyfriend, and I'm always

690
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 9: in the middle of it, Like, no matter what it is,

691
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 9: they're always like like, oh, like can you like I

692
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 9: need your advice no matter who it's from. And I'm

693
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 9: so sick of like getting in the middle of it

694
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 9: because I love them both so much. It's just like

695
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 9: I don't want to talk like shit about them to

696
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 9: each other, but I kind of do it without knowing.

697
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 1: How old are you, Bianca, I'm twenty four, okay, And

698
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: you were friends with these people before they started dating?

699
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 9: Yeah, actually I was friends with the guy first.

700
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: You're friends with the guy first. Here's what I'm cured.

701
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: Maybe you can help me out with this because I'm

702
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: very curious about, like, uh, what it like when I

703
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: want to see my friends, I have to really go

704
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 1: out of my way to do it. The way that

705
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: you're describing this situation, it sounds like you're in you

706
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: have some kind of lifestyle where you're like just recurringly

707
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: naturally seeing these people. Is that true?

708
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 9: I guess I don't know. I mean, like, I don't know,

709
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 9: because it's hard.

710
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,919
Speaker 1: At twenty four, I asked how old you are because

711
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: I thought maybe you were like in high school or something,

712
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 1: because it's, oh my.

713
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 9: God, do I give off that vibe? I'm sorry, I.

714
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: Mean a little bit, but also just because of again,

715
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: like the way that you're describing the friendships, it seems like,

716
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: are you where do you Where do you hang out

717
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: with these people? What's the situation?

718
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 9: Well, I've been from something for a while. I mean,

719
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 9: like when we go to the bars and stuff, but

720
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 9: like we also like like all work out together. We're

721
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 9: just like I don't know, like we're besties.

722
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 5: I don't know, okay, Like like.

723
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 9: We go on like double days and stuff because my

724
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 9: boyfriends friends with like the guy, but like we're all friends.

725
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, all right, So your central conundrum is

726
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: that you're friends with both of these people, but you

727
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 1: think that the girl is controlling the guy.

728
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 9: Yes, and like I don't like and I get in

729
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 9: the middle of everything. They pull me into everything, like

730
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,439
Speaker 9: no matter what I say, it's like, no, you're wrong,

731
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 9: And I'm like, okay, then why did you like have

732
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 9: some my chinions?

733
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: Well? Have you talked to them about hey, part of

734
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 1: any of your bullshit? What do they tell you?

735
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 9: Yeah? They're always like okay, And then like two minutes later,

736
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 9: my girlfriend she's like, anyway, I don't like girl, like

737
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 9: you literally told me, Like I I literally told you,

738
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 9: like I don't want to be a part of it.

739
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 9: But like I think it's because like they look at

740
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 9: me as like the therapy gecko I feel and I'm like,

741
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 9: I don't get paid for this, you know what I mean?

742
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 9: I feel like day should come on this.

743
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, well it is, I'm I'm happy to

744
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: talk to you. I don't typically I don't enjoy I

745
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 1: don't like talking to people about other people's problems. Although

746
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 1: these people are they seem to they yes, it seems

747
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 1: to these other people's problem. These other people have made

748
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: their problems your problems. But I don't know. I mean,

749
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this right now. Let me ask you

750
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: this first, does hanging out with these people. You seemed

751
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 1: like you hang out with them a lot. Does hang

752
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:21,800
Speaker 1: out with these people make your life better?

753
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 9: I mean yes and no. But like they literally broke

754
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 9: up on the day we were supposed to go to

755
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 9: like this concert, and I was like, what the hell,

756
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 9: Like that's not cool, and then like they were like, no,

757
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 9: we're still gonna go, like we're gonna pretend we're dating.

758
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 9: And I'm like, that's weird. And then I was the

759
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 9: only person who knew that. And then we went with

760
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 9: like like four other people and they were like, yeah,

761
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 9: I don't say anything, And I felt so weird, like

762
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,320
Speaker 9: like I was the only person who needs information.

763
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 4: What you know?

764
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: You know what, let's put a pin in this. What

765
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: what's what's your name again?

766
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 9: Bianca?

767
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: What's your life?

768
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 3: Like?

769
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: Bianca? What do you do you work? Do you?

770
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm a I'm a medical system other dermortality office.

771
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: Oh cool? Cool? Yeah? Okay? Are you like, are you

772
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: happy in outside of this situation? Are you happy in

773
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: other aspects of your life?

774
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 3: Like?

775
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: What do you mean outside of the situation where you

776
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: are fighting with your friends? Are you happy in the

777
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: other aspects of your life?

778
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 4: Well?

779
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 9: I guess so, but like it's like a bummer because

780
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 9: like when all my friends like want to hang out

781
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 9: and stuff, it's always like they're like it's always like

782
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 9: they're like kind of the root of like the issues.

783
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 9: And like I tried it because I'm a very positive person,

784
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 9: like I want everyone to have a good time. I

785
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 9: like don't disinclude anybody. But like when that stuff goes on,

786
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 9: like it's just like so annoying, and it's like I

787
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 9: feel like I'm almost like like a therapist, Like I

788
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 9: literally have to talk to them all the time. It's

789
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 9: just kind of like I'm like, gods, like what the hell,

790
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 9: Like why they only talk to me about it?

791
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 3: Only me?

792
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 9: It's like I don't know what to do. Like I

793
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 9: feel like if I say something wrong and they break up,

794
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 9: and it's like but they get back together, you know,

795
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 9: Like I don't know what to do anymore.

796
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:16,399
Speaker 1: You know what I've actually I've been uh lately, I've

797
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 1: been anti advice, but I have I have thoughts cooking

798
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: in my brain that I'm I'm I'm kind of I

799
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: kind of want to fire off a few of them

800
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 1: at you. If you're open to that, if you're open

801
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: to this experimental thing, I'm gonna do right now. Uh

802
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: okay here. I think if I were you, I would

803
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: be like, hey, guys, I don't want to be in

804
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: the middle of your bullshit anymore. And if you continue

805
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 1: to put me in the middle of your bullshit, I'm

806
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,280
Speaker 1: just not going to hang out with you guys anymore.

807
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: But then give me, give give me what's But.

808
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,919
Speaker 9: Then what I don't know because like if I say,

809
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 9: like I'm not gonna hang out with you guys, Everyone's

810
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 9: gonna be like what the hell, Like why aren't you

811
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 9: hanging out with them? And then I would say, like

812
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 9: my reasoning, and they're like like I like, don't worry,

813
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 9: Like I don't know, Like I feel like just like

814
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 9: walking on eggshells with them, like especially with like everybody else.

815
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 5: You know for so long.

816
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you say you say you're a very happy,

817
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: positive person.

818
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 9: Right, I would say so yeah?

819
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: Do you would you consider your friends to be happy

820
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: positive people?

821
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 9: I hope so?

822
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 2: Yeah?

823
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:28,919
Speaker 9: I want them today.

824
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: But do you think they are.

825
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 9: Like in their own lives? Yes, but I personally I

826
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 9: don't think they should be together. But like that's one

827
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 9: of my business, but like when they're making it my business,

828
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 9: I don't know, here's you know, I.

829
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 1: Guess why I always struggle navigating these these relationship things.

830
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about this romantic ones, but friendships

831
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 1: is like, this is so much is out of your

832
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: control because you can't control these two people. You can

833
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 1: sit here and be like they shouldn't be together, But

834
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 1: what the fuck does that thought matter? You know? And

835
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: what I what I I'm The reason I'm saying to

836
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 1: you I would tell them I'm not going to hang

837
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: out with them anymore is because you're a happy, positive

838
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 1: person and you're you know, you're twenty four, You're you know,

839
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 1: you're you have the ability as an adult to venture

840
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 1: out into the universe and try your back. And it's hard,

841
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: and it's hard. It's hard. I'm trying to do I'm

842
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: trying to make friends. If any want to be my

843
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,399
Speaker 1: fucking friend, it's it's hard to make new friends who

844
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 1: you feel like align with your values with the people

845
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: you've been hanging out with forever. I understand why it's

846
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: not the thing you want to do, but I think

847
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: you should give it a try, because if you're hanging

848
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: out with these people and they're just constantly draining your

849
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: energy and you've tried to talk to them about it,

850
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: and you've exhausted every resource within your control. The only

851
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:19,280
Speaker 1: leverage you really have in these relationships is to limit

852
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: your time and you know, expose yourself to two more

853
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 1: people out there who you know you might find happier

854
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: relationships and and uh memories.

855
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 9: And shit with right, Yeah, I like I understand where

856
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,279
Speaker 9: you're coming from. And the thing is like me and

857
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 9: my boyfriend, like we like we're very happy, Like I

858
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 9: feel like nothing is really like happens to us like that.

859
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 9: We're like she's very controlling, like dresses him like it's

860
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 9: like bad, like and she's a couple of years older

861
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 9: than us. So it's like, see, even the fact.

862
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 1: Even the fact that like this girls, even the fact

863
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 1: that this, this these two people's relationship is occupying so

864
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: much space in your brain is like bothersomething I understand.

865
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 9: It's not like it's not like that deep when I

866
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,439
Speaker 9: think about it, like from an outside point of view,

867
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 9: like I live my life day to day and I'm fine.

868
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 9: It's just like there's times where like ill invenience like

869
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 9: my social life when we go out and stuff. That's

870
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 9: why like I want to talk about it, Like I

871
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 9: know these comments are crazy though, they're like you're controlling them,

872
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 9: like like, don't get worried about are you reading.

873
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 1: Are you reading the chat? Don't don't read the chat.

874
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 1: Don't read the chat.

875
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 6: I'm sorry.

876
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 9: Some of them are so funny, like I'm giggling, but

877
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 9: I don't know. I like there, I don't think what

878
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 9: people are staying, like these are my two like best friends,

879
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 9: like me and my boyfriend, Like these are our friends,

880
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 9: and my boyfriend was friends is like the guy in

881
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 9: the relationship, like like way longer than like both of us.

882
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 9: So I'm just trying to, like people please, I guess,

883
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 9: and like I understand, like you can't please everybody, but

884
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 9: I'm just trying. I'm just trying to like make everything work.

885
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. I get it. I

886
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: get why. I get why you want to because the

887
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: dream for you is that you get to just have

888
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: fucking hang out with your friends and it's a good

889
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: time all the time. Yeah, concerts and eat food, and

890
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful it's a worthwhile goal. It's a beautiful

891
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 1: human experience. And the tragedy of life is that a

892
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 1: lot of the times, whether or not that works out,

893
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: is just not in your control, and you can try

894
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 1: to make it in your control or you can just

895
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: accept that it's not. And and you know, look at

896
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 1: what is in your control. And I don't know. I

897
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: don't know your whole life, so I don't know what

898
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: options you have or what your tolerance is for drama

899
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 1: and things. But I'm just looking at I'm just I'm

900
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: just looking at this, like how do you move forward

901
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: to maximize your happiness? And I don't know. I don't

902
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 1: know ship on a gecko.

903
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 9: I know, I mean, I was bored. I can't believe

904
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 9: you answer, but it's be honest.

905
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: Anything else you want to say to the people of

906
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: the computer before we go?

907
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 9: Okay, A lot of them are saying I sound like.

908
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 1: If you're you're not allowed to read the chat at all?

909
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 1: Nobody who only I am allowed to read. Sorry, I

910
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 1: don't know why.

911
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 9: I am well up in front of me and that's

912
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 9: how I I'm sorry to yell. You know, but I

913
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 9: don't know. I don't know. I love your stream. It's

914
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:02,399
Speaker 9: so fun. TikTok make me giggle. And thank you you're the.

915
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 1: Bad thank you. I really appreciate that. I hope you

916
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 1: I hope you live in the in the friendship utopia

917
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 1: that you desire, and I believe one day you go.

918
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 9: Thank God. One can only hope.

919
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,240
Speaker 1: Have a good night, Bianca, you too, Bob.

920
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 6: Never beg goes.

921
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 3: On the line, taking your phone calls every night.

922
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 6: Never goes too on his side, he's teaching you

923
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 5: Loud in the middle of your life, but he's not

924
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 5: really an expert.