WEBVTT - AFAF... How Do I Break Up With a Friend? feat. Ilana Glazer 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.600 I'm gonna pin your verty yo, so I can see you. 0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:05.960 I'll do the same, do the same for you. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:08.320 I'm gonna pay your veratyo. 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.880 So see, this has to be a part of it. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.120 Why like that in your video song. 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.480 So to see you? Okay, I'm gonna start now, Okay, 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:20.760 Jordan's I think. 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:21.600 We already have started. 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:23.880 We need a bigger, more formal. 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.520 Why they need a formal, bigger I mean they were 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:31.200 like people listen to me formerly, Sir David Attenborough was listening, bitch. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:33.840 It's not rig I'm not trying to marry my seven daughters. 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:36.360 I'm just trying to have people listen and like, all right, 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:37.040 here we go. 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:47.519 All right, what's up? 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.440 Everybody? Welcome to Adulting. I'm your host, Michelle Byte. 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.280 And I'm Jordan Carlos, your co from GO. So good 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:55.520 to see you today, Michelle, So good to be bred. 0:00:55.840 --> 0:01:01.680 Look, I love that interest so much. So form it's formal. 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:07.759 It's a formal podcast. Introcy, I noticed that you have 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:11.199 khaki shorts on today, bro, I mean a medium king 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.120 in khaki shorts. Where's the fishing trip? 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:15.679 What time? 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.679 What kind of sandwiches can I bring? Do you like 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.920 the smoke Matzarell. Should I cut the crust off? 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:25.080 Do you want a white cloth? Khaki? 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:26.560 They're not khaki? What are they? 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.360 She's doing it? Yes and go. They're just a nice 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:31.959 London short. It's like, actually it's not No, it's a chambre. 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:32.480 It's chambre. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.600 Shut you chambre the fuck up. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:40.039 I just you were staining momentum and everyone was like, 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.320 it's going so well, but they're actually I know, I 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:42.680 love it. 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.200 I love a chambre. Now are you going on a 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.480 safari trip in Brooklyn, nytime soon? 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:53.600 Or No? I'm not. No, I'm not hot. 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.560 It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. We've been waiting for it. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:01.800 We've been waiting for it. Would you questions? We have 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:03.560 a really good show. We have a really great Friendolona 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:05.200 Blazer coming up. Okay, we'll get to it in a minute. 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.840 I have a question. So would you ever wear like 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:12.880 a linen onesie, like a linen overall? Are you that 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:13.760 kind of Brooklyn dad? 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.000 Yeah? I mean I haven't bought clothes in probably four 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.200 or five years, I know. So if they showed up then. 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:22.280 Yeah, if they should, I don't know, I might buy 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.840 you something. Now, would you ever do a tank top. 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.280 Yeah, I'm getting there at the tank see, I know, 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.960 I know, I mean, I'm getting there. Things are going well, 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:35.240 working out, body snatched. So I'm like, do you I 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:36.880 do you want in August? I don't know. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:40.959 It's a wop summer for Jordan Carlos everyone. That was 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:44.280 pretty fucking gross. And I said this is that was 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.720 the second F word. That was the second F word, 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.880 like within seconds. But it's the heat. It does stuff 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.960 to you. No heat, Oh my goodness, the heat. I 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:55.000 feel like everywhere I go is lord of the flies, 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:59.000 the parking lot, the whole foods. 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.600 You gotta have a healthy New York sweat going on, 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:03.919 you know, so you can take your two showers things 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.480 like that. How many showers do you take in New 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:06.079 York summer? 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.920 Oh my goodness, definitely two or three. Sometimes I just 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:10.400 get the hot spots, you know what I mean, as 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.880 if it's like the walk of shame, you know. But 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:19.080 I do love a shower, cold water, baby oil let 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.040 that just sink in while your just get's a little 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:22.960 bit wet. No big deal. I was meeting a friend 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.160 for coffee the other day, just kidding. This is a 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.320 made up story, but she was like, what are you 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.520 gonna wear? And I'm like, deodorant, bitch, Okay, that's what 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.240 I'm wearing because and you know, you don't have to 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.400 get something with aluminium, but you just don't put lemon 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:37.120 juice under there. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:40.040 Just do something Aluminum is bad. That gives you Alzheimer's. 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.400 I said, don't do it. You did see I don't 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:46.080 do it? There I go, there, I go. Now like 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:47.160 this is the game of telephone. 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:48.200 This is my moment. 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.400 I think, especially in a place like New York, you 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.560 have to really plan out your outfits because you might 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.240 be just walking around. You need to like have a 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:56.119 change of clothes. 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:57.560 Well, I'm actually going swimming later. 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:01.080 Okay, black boy Joy, you bet an tell the black 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:04.000 girl Magice what you doing. Are you gonna go ride 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.240 a horse and apple picking afterwards? I mean, are you 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:08.720 gonna go find a canvas and paint with your fingers? 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.800 I may? This is all about Black Joy And I'm 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:14.800 going swimming today. Dad's going swimming, all right. 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:17.040 And when you're kids swimming, hell. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.480 No, I'm gonna enjoy myself. I took my kids swimming 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:24.440 all weekend long and too. Yeah, the paddling the k 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.200 K k k K kick, yeah, k k k k kick. 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.640 You know, yes, that was so stressful and now Dad 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.280 gets to swim, Dad gets to make a dive, an 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:35.080 awkward dive. 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.320 I love this for you, and you know what, I'm 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:40.000 going to share a picture when this episode drops of 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:44.120 you swimming in Greece because you already enjoy stuff like 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.880 you will you even enjoy like a government mac and cheese, 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:49.320 like you just enjoy things. You're just happy to be there. 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.920 But like when you have time to yourself, the smile 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.400 is from like north to south east, so what your 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.040 smile is from the rooted to the tudor like it 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.920 is out. So I love this for you. I want 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.120 some too. I was tong ki the other day. Can 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:07.480 I just take five minutes to touch my fucking toes? 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:09.599 It's a lot of fucks. I'm so sorry everyone, but 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.480 here the fuck we are here? 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:17.800 You went swimming other at your house and the waters yeah. 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:19.560 So we have a little ocean in the back of you. 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:22.120 We dip a toast, very cold, stale, and the horseshoe 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.719 crabs are out, so it does feel like I'm swimming 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.719 with dinosaurs. And so you know, the kids enjoy the 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.719 nature I'm like, can we get a pool with no sand? 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:37.120 Sometimes because even sitting like in the garden area of 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.279 a restaurant is like camping for me, where I'm like, 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:43.599 I don't know what's gonna fly over here. And my 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:46.440 son Otis is like a cat, you know, like he'll 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.520 just bring in stuff from outside and present it to me. 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:53.000 And he put a snail on me, and I was like, fuck, 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:00.279 thank you, and you put on you He put a 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.680 snail on me. He's like, here you go, Mama. I'm like, 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.080 do you like me? But it was very sweet. He 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.120 talked about the snail for thirty minutes. All this to say, 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.360 we did go swimming. So much negotiating, so much talking, 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:16.840 so much rule making, so much sunblock. Right, nobody had 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.120 a blowout in the water. That's a good time. Also, 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.720 they sleep better, which I love. Also, I took him 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:27.240 to the Brooklyn Children's Museum. Oh my gosh, on a Saturday. 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:29.520 I just got to do stuff with them. Do you 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:33.640 know what I mean? I can't twins. It's an automatic 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:34.440 daycare class. 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:36.640 I love the Brooklyn Children's Museum. You can only go 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:38.680 there on the hottest day of the year only It's 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.560 only open on the hottest day of the year. That's it. 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:44.400 It's like because there's like no trees around there, it's 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:48.279 just baking. I'm baking that place. But it's great. 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:53.400 It's giving a forty days, forty nights five, he's giving 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.400 first testament. Whoo chaw, what's the net basket? Let's just 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.200 notsch on it. I don't even eat pork. But if 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:00.920 there's like a non coach or hot dog, I'm like, 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:01.719 throw it at my face. 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.440 I'm hungry. How is the line for the bus? You 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.560 know how there's like that little bush. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.760 Oh Jordan, let me tell you you guys. Broken Children's 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:14.040 Museum adorable. They have a bunch of New York things 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.240 that it was really educational. They have a vespa next 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:20.520 to like the pizza parlor. They have a Caribbean Day 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.560 Parade room. They have a New York City bus, and 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.760 my son loves to drive the bus. There's a big 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.040 old wheel and you can sit on the bus. You 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.520 be a passenger, you can drive. There's always a line 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.080 of two to five year old boys that don't know 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:36.160 how to wait in the line and waiting for the bus, 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:40.040 and their parents are always on the phone, and I'm like, 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.600 get off Instagram. This is when you're supposed to be parenting. 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.440 And so my Otis is very sweet and polite, and 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.280 plus you know, I'm a black mom in public. I'm like, 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.560 what you're not going to do is, but I can't 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:54.240 be parenting everybody's kids. You gotta do that, buss. There's 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.679 no cell phone surface in the museum. What are you doing? 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:57.960 I know, what is that? 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:01.240 I don't know? But this other kid was very polite 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:05.240 like Otis, and they just kept getting jumped and it 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.600 was the kid's turn and I said, Otis, wait your turn, 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:10.720 he's got to go. It was just a bunch of 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:15.480 coopers and tailors and Brendan's no offense everyone, and I 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.160 was like, I just I'm already like I can't like 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.160 if somebody was going to be named Brett, I was like, 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.040 get out of here and. 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:24.120 Sut up. 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:28.760 I know, just a bunch of tailors. And she said 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:30.640 thank you for that, and I said, look, the last 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.040 thing I want to do is add any more male 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:37.880 toxicity to this planet. She just looked at me like 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.760 I needed a snack. And I was like, I'm good, 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:42.720 I'm good. I'm just letting you know what I'm doing, 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:44.920 Like I have no time to waste. I also needed 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.960 a nosh, you know how I sometimes the blood sugar. 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.959 The water part is nice, the water part where it's 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:51.800 like the kids are. 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.080 Like, well, yeah, the water goes down and look at 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:57.360 it go. Yeah, there's this little water pool where you 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:02.360 can have like little plastic crabs and see life in there. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:06.120 But there's a water gun and there's only one. Yeah, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.960 and so there's usually a long line for that, and 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.839 so Otis had to wait his turn again, damn. And 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:15.680 it was the Brooklyn Chose Museum was just a lesson 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:17.600 in waiting which gets. 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.079 Them ready for life in New York. You know what 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.720 I'm saying. When they want that corona, that black Sea bagel, 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.520 that whatever it is, see, it really does get you ready. 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.240 Lue Collie Pizza. It's gonna be a way, you guys. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.480 This is what I'm talking about. It's always half full 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:35.040 with him, It's always it's always half full. You know, 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.080 when you have that positive friend, when they're just like, 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:39.160 I have to complain about something, you got to sit 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.360 down and listen because they've just been like bubbling up 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:44.160 and so you gotta let them get it out. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.360 Oh, New York has made me a glass half full 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:50.760 of acid kind of person. It's so terrible. No, you 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.240 want me to tell you what I did, which is 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.880 like I hit the bottom of the barrel last weekend. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.319 Last weekend, my wife was in Mexico. Good for her. 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.040 Do it? Go to Mexico girl, get that brice, do you? 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:04.440 Yes? 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.280 I was holding down the fort as I should, but 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.520 there's no rest for the weary. My kids we go 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.120 to like a little school gathering right in Prospect Park 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:15.760 by the lagoon. My kids will not interact with the 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.280 other kids. They're like, I want to do the paddles, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:22.480 pedal blets, jackhammer, get paddles, paddle bots. I'm like, all right, 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.120 right after an hour, we go out in the paddle blets. 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:28.120 Nobody else wants to do it. It's the hottest moment 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:33.680 of a very hot day. Plastic just like searing my flesh. 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:35.880 So we get on on the boats. My children are 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:39.120 of no help because they have little t rex legs 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.079 that are not helping at all. So I'm the one paddle. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.280 The boat over and okay, Morgan Freeman and driving Miss 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:46.920 Daisy go on. I'm listening. 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:48.160 I look out in the water. I looked at the 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.280 right and I was like, wow, that wallet looks like 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:55.559 my wallet. What's it doing out in the water? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.600 Oh my god. So your boy went for a dip, Michelle, 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:01.160 your boy went for dip. And let me tell you something. 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.439 That wallet went down. It went down, down, down into 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.400 the reeds. Right. And so now I am in the 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:16.040 Prospect parkon no to my chest in are. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.960 You like an outis shape aquaman? Just at the Prospect Park? 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.360 This is so if I would have seen you die 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.160 for your wallet in the Prospect but I would have 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:27.640 been like with security, see to say something, see something, 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.080 I wouldn't you know, you gotta get one of those sticks. 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:37.120 Oh do I that's what I gotta do. You got notes? 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.360 I the truth? 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:41.440 I am not a few good men? 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:44.000 Oh no? 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.719 So wait your pat Wait you're paddle boating with your 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.040 kids and your wallet comes out. 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:53.960 In the water. Absolutely why not? Why not? So I 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:55.520 quilt a lace of obscenities. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:56.520 Wait did you have your keys? 0:11:56.559 --> 0:12:01.920 Did you? My phone was like how about it? And 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:03.400 like tried to get out too, and I was like 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:07.440 fuck no, So I put that to the side. I 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.199 was out there. I was out there, and then they 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.199 offered me a paddle I almost flapped that out of 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.400 the man's hands, but I took it anyway. And then 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.920 I'm searching now and just it's muck. It's Meyer. I 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.360 didn't really know the difference, but there's a difference. It's 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:25.200 like muck Meyer, reeds, condoms, bottles, Jimmy Hoffa's head, like 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.319 all the shit. And so I finally, ye, finally, after 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.360 ten minutes, because I don't give up, pup, I get 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:35.160 my wallet and I bring it out of the water 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:40.600 like god like EXCaliber, right, and so I then almost 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:42.840 throw it on the boat, but I was like, gently 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.480 set it down because I didn't. I want want to 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.680 model good behavior for my children. And then, oh my god, 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.080 and then this very old lady that operated the paddle 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:54.040 boats goes in all my years in the paddle boats, 0:12:54.640 --> 0:13:00.400 I never shot anybody. Get the wallet back. I was like, well, 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:03.680 I don't give them. I don't give up. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.080 And you know what my sons, my god, was this 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:07.400 the ghost of Jessica Candy. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:11.960 Oh I'm sho. You know what my son said to 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.560 me after that? What can we keep going? Now? 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:22.640 Malcolm? We need to take a beat. Malcolm. He's like, 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:30.800 did you do what you had to do? Malcolm, No, oh, Jordans, 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.559 what did you drink when you went home? 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.480 All of it? I was just so. 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.560 Tired, a little, a little what are you like. 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:45.560 A darkened storm? Because that's my personality. But I was 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:50.920 like this, it just made me so upset. Yo, that's 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:51.320 my alter. 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.760 You go, that's wild. Even if you are not alone 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.240 with the kids, that's wild. If you're just by yourself, 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:58.400 that is wild. Period. 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.360 No, And you know here's the rough part. It's the 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.240 lady that operated the paddle bulls was like, maybe put 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.960 your wallet da da da da aside because nine times 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.640 out of ten while it's come out, there's no warnings 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.880 like that. In New York, you're on your own usual. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:12.960 So remember I told you the story about my phone 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.240 falling into the subway tracks and me going to get it. 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:19.840 This was worse. Yes, me diving, No, putting my face 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.480 into the waters. Was just like, yeah, well, I'm thinking, 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:26.360 like I probably have a good five years to live 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.480 and get my things in order before. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.720 Yeah, get a tennis shot, take some vitamin D, get 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:36.280 a tennis shot. Maybe you'll be like Will Smith in 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:38.680 every movie where he's like the only one on earth, 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:39.920 you know what I mean? Like maybe it'll give you 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:43.280 like a superpower, like don't go slapping Chris Rock or 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.320 Tony Rock or Jordan Rock. But like definitely, you know, 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:51.800 keep my family's name at your mouf and you know, yes, 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:57.680 I mean yeah, dude, that's wild. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:02.600 you remembered, because honestly, I've had moments with children in public, 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.000 but I black it out immediately, Like as you're telling 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:09.000 me the story, I'm really forgetting as I think that's 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.160 the only way. Yeah, I think it's the only way 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:12.800 you get through. 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:16.960 I mean yes, but like it's like forgive, but don't 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:17.640 forget their names. 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.120 You know what I'm saying, Just like, oh my god, 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:27.280 all right, Arianna Stark, dang. 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.600 Let me not piss you off. I didn't know you 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:30.360 were such a fighter. 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:31.760 I'm a scrappy little dude. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.080 I really like I would have had a moment where 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.200 I'm just like, what's in the wallet? 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:40.480 Also, where's the net? Where's the net? New York? 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.960 You know, like, yeah, there should be a net. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.680 Net one fucking swimming pool net. 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.360 You should be net. We went for my birthday one year. 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:52.120 My husband took us on a kayaking trip on the 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.840 Hudson River. Which is talk about where you hide the bodies, 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.440 talk about sleeping with the fishes. If you're picking up one, 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.480 I'm laying dang gang Joe Peshi. This one was but 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:06.520 you and oh my god, I've never sounded like an 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:09.000 auntie from Jersey before until now. When are we going to? 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.680 Whah wah? I got a hankering for a hooking And 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.400 you know, there was a lot of chop in the Hudson, 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:17.760 but they tell you right away put all your shit 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:18.800 in a plastic. 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:19.800 Bag, right, thank you? 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:22.440 Wow, Okay, I'm so glad you're gonna go swimming. You 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.760 deserve Yeah, I feel like it. Also, this is very adult. 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:29.880 I love that your wife took a trip without you 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:30.320 and the family. 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:31.960 She had a little bit case. She went down to 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:37.440 Mexico to meet our new niece, Keani and very cute, 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.680 beautiful name, little baby, and yeah, she wanted to do that, 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:42.920 and I was like, right, so that, as they say, 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:44.680 was that, And I'm so glad we were able to 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.200 swing it. She needed a break because I've been working 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.480 really really hard and her covering the bases and everything 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:53.520 like that has not been easy and it's been a 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.720 real tax on her. So yeah, you know. 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.920 Yeah, it's hard to be your mind reader, but it's 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:01.040 important to recognize when you're partner needs a break. Yeah, 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.480 if you're gonna be playing, let's say, here we go 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.000 with Michelle's examples a soccer game and you're looking at 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.400 your goalie or you're looking at your defense and you're 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.320 just like, oh, they're not going to let me know. 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.119 They're just gonna be a team player. You have to 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.080 make the decision and be like, you need to sit down, 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.800 go take a break, go have a gatorade. And you know, 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.200 I love that. Elina's like I need a gatorade and 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:21.880 you're like, bye bye. 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.280 She needed a gatorade in Mexico. Yeah, I gotta go 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.520 get it in Mexico. She has so much fun. I 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:30.440 cannot advertise this town enough. It's called sam Poncho, which 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.280 is just north of Guadalajara. It's a nice surf spot. 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.120 You get the surf fiando going. So she just got 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:36.720 to do all the things. 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:37.560 Does your wife surf? 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.000 She can surf. Yeah, she's a good surfer. Yeah. 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:44.560 I mean I saw her water ski yes in Greece. Yes, 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.560 I mean for like more than three minutes. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:47.880 She could do it all day. 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.520 She was going and I was like, what in the 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:53.159 eighties movie with Michael J. Fox is going on? She 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.080 was the hot one in a red bikini. I was like, 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.679 go go yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:01.919 I'm just like barely jumping in the water, trying not 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.240 to get my hair wet, my vacation hair, and y'all 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:06.960 are out here doing the most with all the machines 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:08.520 in the water. It was very nice. 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.200 Yeah, pass the hand twirl. It's crazy. She's like a 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:13.080 juicy fru commercial. 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:17.479 I like to see. I'm a double man. 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.560 Oh yeah, double double your excitement, no single gun, double 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.360 freshens your mouth, like yeah, I got you. 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:25.760 Yeah, I thank you so much because I have twins. 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:32.080 But I really enjoy seeing people enjoy themselves. Like I'm 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:34.399 definitely a grandma that way, where I don't need to 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.240 eat the fried chicken, but I want to make it 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:39.280 and watch everybody eat. Like that's where I find joy. 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:41.600 You can make a great grandma. Look, you're gonna make 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:46.199 a great great grandma'nna do I know. 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:50.280 I always call myself Puerto Rican grandma because honestly, UH 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.240 don't even know what that means. But I'm very excited 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:55.080 for you that you don't have to go in that 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.320 water anymore. I think it's also really important for not 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.840 only like you don't have to be a parent to 0:18:59.880 --> 0:19:02.199 be like I'm tired, I need to break whoever the 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.640 fuck you is and you feel like you need one. 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.160 Stop talking about it. Go get your koochie wax, open 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.399 them legs up, put a mask on, open your legs up, 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:13.720 get that kuci whatever you need to do. My second, 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.520 I have a friend who's been talking about getting her 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:16.640 Kuchi wax for three years. 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:20.679 It's like, really, bitch, Oh no, is it me? I 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:24.520 can't remember? Alright? We got to get onto our guests, 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.119 don't we do? We? We do? 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:29.919 This was fun? What a fun catch up for me 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:30.600 and only me. 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.520