Speaker 1: I have some stand up dates starting this week on
Speaker 1: October eighteenth, I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma, followed by Oklahoma City, Dallas,
Speaker 1: San Antonio, Houston, Brian, Texas, Lafayette, Louisiana, New Orleans, and
Speaker 1: then I ended in Austin, Texas on Halloween through November two.
Speaker 1: Go to Chris Fairbanks dot com for tickets. Thank you,
Speaker 1: you're welcome.
Speaker 2: Are you ready to podcast? Chris? I am? I am
Speaker 2: all right. Let's keep it loose and positive and goosey yes,
Speaker 2: positive boy. I've been negative in the past and no longer.
Speaker 2: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you clean us time and Tourmanol and Gabe.
Speaker 2: We want to send you us in stall. We want
Speaker 2: to welcome you back home.
Speaker 4: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared or was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 2: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 2: to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris welcome? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilgareth and we
Speaker 2: are riding and we are what positive were positively driving
Speaker 2: in a car? Positive that we're in a car.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no question, I'm doing this thing assuming everyone's a
Speaker 5: new viewer.
Speaker 2: Good idea.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I explained the podcast at the beginning.
Speaker 4: At the top, you explain how podcasts are seen with
Speaker 4: the eyes of the ear.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, burn up your ear holes because there's a look.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of sights in sound. That's right, all
Speaker 2: sound sights. I had a great I had at How
Speaker 2: was your week? How was mine week? Oh? Man, it's Monday,
Speaker 2: isn't it. Yeah? It it was hard. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 2: last week. That's okay. Let's not talk about our crazy weekend.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I partied all hardy weekend. No, I no, no, no,
Speaker 4: A lot of quiet moments. I bought a rug.
Speaker 2: I'm old. I don't do stuff like that. Hey, no,
Speaker 2: I'm I had ordered some old barn would Isn't it fun? Yes?
Speaker 4: To be decorative? Oh you know what I did do
Speaker 4: that was really fun? Is I did that bring your
Speaker 4: own Tribute Band show?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Brian Cook and Andy Wood? It was fun. We
Speaker 2: sing go gos.
Speaker 4: But the setup it was like in this bar called
Speaker 4: the Offbeat Bar in right in Highland Park, which is
Speaker 4: a really cool bar on York. And it was all
Speaker 4: just kind of like it was like any band playing
Speaker 4: a small bar, you know what I mean. But all
Speaker 4: the instruments were turned up so loud that when we
Speaker 4: went to do the go Go songs, I literally could not.
Speaker 2: Hear myself at all. So I was just kind of
Speaker 2: it was like screaming into a fan. They didn't have
Speaker 2: a feedback is monitor monitor. I I don't think there
Speaker 2: was a vocal monitor.
Speaker 4: And I do think that all the dudes had their
Speaker 4: guitars and everything turned up.
Speaker 2: To eleven, like they were just there to jam.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know, but I mean that was kind
Speaker 4: of the fun of it, and it didn't matter.
Speaker 2: It was like Carlile used to complain about the same thing.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, the girls were there to rock.
Speaker 4: It's the classic situation of people want to rock, but
Speaker 4: instead of we got the beat.
Speaker 2: Did you sing weird at Offbeat Tribute? God damn it, Chris,
Speaker 2: We're at Offbeat. Everybody sit on your seats. They're at it. Oh.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 5: When it comes to puns, a lot of people are
Speaker 5: against puns. Yeah, and I get it, but man, when
Speaker 5: they're in song form form. There's no one that doesn't
Speaker 5: like them. You can't well, you can't deny them, right.
Speaker 5: They're powerful, right, and if you say anything that about
Speaker 5: weird Al, you're going to get beat up by a
Speaker 5: nerd that probably can't beat you up.
Speaker 2: So let it happen. So let it happen. It'll make
Speaker 2: you feel stronger. Yep. It's fun to interact. Just do
Speaker 2: it and into it, and Al appreciates it in the
Speaker 2: cause of fights.
Speaker 4: Yeahh so that was I would say that it was
Speaker 4: like my big party weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is totally a party to rock and some
Speaker 2: bar concert.
Speaker 4: It was cool. I mean, yeah, it felt cool. Got
Speaker 4: to see some cool people. Some of my favorite people
Speaker 4: were there. It was just like, you know, a good hang.
Speaker 2: I've been needing one of those. Why what did you
Speaker 2: do this weekend?
Speaker 5: I have for two weeks taken nothing but cold showers.
Speaker 5: I decided it's I don't know that I'll stop. I
Speaker 5: finally gotja water today. But I mean it's kind of
Speaker 5: like a poor man's cryo therapy. I feel like it
Speaker 5: shrinks my inflammation. Yes, I bet it does, but my
Speaker 5: neighbors are probably going to complain. About me screaming shit
Speaker 5: and fucked every time I shower.
Speaker 4: There's I've done the same thing where my guests got
Speaker 4: turned off, and then for however long, I either went
Speaker 4: without showering or had to take a cold shower.
Speaker 2: And it really is very torturing, it really is. But
Speaker 2: it's a great way to wake up, like embracing you
Speaker 2: in lieu of coffee.
Speaker 5: I just spray cold water on my body and it
Speaker 5: definitely wakes you up, gets ready or the old eyebags.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you really said there a while, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: Also makes your hair shiny. Oh really, huh? No more
Speaker 2: vasaline and other home remedy beauty methods.
Speaker 5: Vacilline can do everything. Yes, yes, you get burns, dry lips.
Speaker 5: You just put it in your scalp and it works
Speaker 5: as a great PALMADEE.
Speaker 2: Put it on your eyes. It makes some sparkle. Do this,
Speaker 2: everyone write these downs a sunblock on your body.
Speaker 5: And yes, oh yes, it certainly doesn't magnify, said so
Speaker 5: at all. I just thought it's funny because I when
Speaker 5: I moved into my apartment, there was no electricity, so
Speaker 5: I called the Department of Water and Power and then
Speaker 5: they said, oh, we have this concierge service that does
Speaker 5: everything for you. We'll connect you now to Spectrum like
Speaker 5: we did everything. I know I signed up for gas,
Speaker 5: but apparently maybe because gas was already there.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I've just had free gas for six months. Right, it's
Speaker 5: not free, it's now program. I'll have to pay for
Speaker 5: back gas.
Speaker 4: Uh, you're paying for that gas, friend, Oh I am,
Speaker 4: I'll come. Neither of us have made a fart joke
Speaker 4: because we're fucking great.
Speaker 2: We're grown up. Yeah, we're waiting for the good idea
Speaker 2: to come.
Speaker 5: And I just had when the city of Los Angeles,
Speaker 5: I've been here fifteen years, they don't know my name.
Speaker 5: I've never been on a gas bill, so I just
Speaker 5: because I was starting from scratch, I waited literally two
Speaker 5: weeks because they said I was calling saying it's silly,
Speaker 5: I'm taking cold showers please, and there they said, I'll look,
Speaker 5: and she kept looking. She's like, it has to be
Speaker 5: in two weeks. I'm sorry, we don't have any other appointments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how it always is. I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 5: But anyway, today he came immediately hot, nice, everything's back steaming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, time to bring back that swelling.
Speaker 4: And look, you can still make fart jokes all you
Speaker 4: want with gas without gas, exactly all of it.
Speaker 2: I like it when it comes up organically. Barts, I mean, finally, beans, please, beans,
Speaker 2: just pause.
Speaker 4: That happens every once in a while on Twitter, people
Speaker 4: will go, h, I can't believe you talked about blah
Speaker 4: blah blah and nobody made a blah blah blahod joke,
Speaker 4: so disappointed or something, and oh, I never do it,
Speaker 4: but I always want to write back.
Speaker 2: You fucking hack.
Speaker 4: We don't make those jokes because they're stupid and bad jokes,
Speaker 4: and any third grader can make that.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, anytime.
Speaker 5: I mean, I've always as a comic, even if a
Speaker 5: premise sounds familiar, Yeah, I won't. I'm like, well, so
Speaker 5: everyone's already missed her show. Did a sketch about.
Speaker 2: That, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 4: You don't want to be the sixteenth person that's doing it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but most people that happened, and no offense if
Speaker 5: you're not in comedy.
Speaker 2: Most people. Actually that's what she said. School of joking,
Speaker 2: where it's like, well, that's what everyone would have said,
Speaker 2: so why didn't you say it? Many people are still
Speaker 2: in the eye threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Speaker 2: School of So let's you know, oh god, that's all.
Speaker 4: Let's all tighten up our games because we all are
Speaker 4: in comedy these days.
Speaker 2: You're in deep and we can't get out. Whether you
Speaker 2: know it or not, you're in it. You're part of
Speaker 2: a joke, you're part of your at least part of
Speaker 2: someone's joke. Yeah, you're definitely in your family. Beating your family.
Speaker 5: I'm just pausing and saying stuff like you did with
Speaker 5: being that's our.
Speaker 2: New co be it in your family, be it around
Speaker 2: the office. You're part of a job. That's what I see.
Speaker 2: I get it now. Beat your family.
Speaker 4: Are like subliminal messages that the do you Need to
Speaker 4: Ride podcast is so proud to bring to everybody.
Speaker 2: Are you bored at work? Beat your family? It's just
Speaker 2: like we are the the farts and violence of a
Speaker 2: backwards beatles record, farts and violins, helter skelter, slap, your
Speaker 2: mom's terrible. Yay, right, you did the actual noise. I
Speaker 2: had to do it. I'm glad you know that I
Speaker 2: wanted to.
Speaker 5: Sometimes I feel like you're saying things because you know
Speaker 5: I want to say it, So you lower yourself to
Speaker 5: that's right to the boy.
Speaker 2: But the group of boys fart comedy. That's as a woman,
Speaker 2: that is what we're expected to. Well, you also hang
Speaker 2: out with a lot of groups of boys. It's some writing.
Speaker 2: I mean, not on week not don't slit, shame me
Speaker 2: on my own pocket. Listen. I like boys. Every time
Speaker 2: you pick up your phone, it is already navigating to
Speaker 2: some frat house. I'm tired of it.
Speaker 4: I like nineteen year old boys, right, you're the dumbest one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it's uh And they're barely legal caprisa,
Speaker 2: there's only one. Oh, they're.
Speaker 4: The idea of like really trying to take back the
Speaker 4: night by being disgusting like that.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, man, ohly legal boys?
Speaker 5: What there was When I first moved here, I shot a.
Speaker 5: I guess Aston Ashton Kutcher was going to stop doing punk,
Speaker 5: but he didn't stop doing it and punked America. Oh,
Speaker 5: but they were trying to find a new prank show
Speaker 5: and they were it. I think that Daniel Tosh has
Speaker 5: been in contract to have a show with Comedy Central
Speaker 5: for years, like years prior to that to Talk point
Speaker 5: zero and I did a pilot with him where we
Speaker 5: were but the joke was on us because we didn't
Speaker 5: know what we were being sent to do. We'd be
Speaker 5: given this envelope with a dossier.
Speaker 2: Is sure, yeah, sure you did it. I almost said yeah.
Speaker 5: It would be wordy and riddle filled, and we'd read
Speaker 5: it and it said hope you're ready to teach a class.
Speaker 5: And we're like, okay, oh.
Speaker 2: He's and he was like, well, of course you're better
Speaker 2: with kids than I am. And I'm like, okay, this'll
Speaker 2: be great. Uh.
Speaker 5: And you know, we had to teach like an exercise class,
Speaker 5: a crunch gym while while Craig Kilbourne and the guy
Speaker 5: from Chili Pepper, David Navarro, we're both on treadmills looking
Speaker 5: through the glass watching us, like shaking their heads. It
Speaker 5: was at a time when hidden camera shows were a
Speaker 5: regular thing, and every time we were put in a situation,
Speaker 5: someone would raise their hand and say, is this like
Speaker 5: a hidden camera show?
Speaker 2: And we go what no?
Speaker 5: And right then at cameraman had fall against some one
Speaker 5: way glass.
Speaker 2: What no, of course not, what are you talking about?
Speaker 5: But one of the things was we had to go
Speaker 5: to there was a magazine called Perfect ten, I think,
Speaker 5: and they sent us there and this sounds like.
Speaker 2: It should It definitely should be illegal. They sent us
Speaker 2: there as fake photographers and we took pictures of naked
Speaker 2: girls and they said you have to something in it
Speaker 2: said or they weren't naked, but they almost were.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 5: And I had like this vaguely European accent and said
Speaker 5: I was from the Ukraine. And then one of the
Speaker 5: girls was like, I'm from the Ukraine and I'm like, oh, the.
Speaker 2: Southern parts, Like I didn't even have an accent. You
Speaker 2: just quote some Borat. It was pre bor At. But
Speaker 2: I couldn't stop yelling my wife and they yeah, it was,
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 5: It was absolutely Actually it was very fun and they
Speaker 5: were nice and I feel like they knew something was up.
Speaker 2: But you're just going to drive in that lane. Yeah, wow,
Speaker 2: that happens a lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we should just call this podcast head on Collisions
Speaker 5: for real.
Speaker 4: It's now just a standard. It's like how it is
Speaker 4: just like, oh okay.
Speaker 5: But the amazing thing I remember seeing the pictures I
Speaker 5: took nervously with a camera I'd never used, and I
Speaker 5: took some great photos.
Speaker 2: Did you Yeah, Now what were the women wearing? They were? Yeah?
Speaker 2: One there was a woman in a shower and then
Speaker 2: it's a street, so two cars have to be on it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, everything's two way. Don't give us that face,
Speaker 5: a grumpy.
Speaker 2: One, missus Mercedes. Yeah it was yeah, a woman was
Speaker 2: in a shower and yeah, yeah it was most it
Speaker 2: was just like Bikini Pretty Women. Okay. Perfect ten was
Speaker 2: not a porno or nudity magazine. It's caught it, okay.
Speaker 2: I think it was like Maximmer something got it. I
Speaker 2: could be.
Speaker 5: Wrong, though, it might be I may have inadvertently worked
Speaker 5: in pornography.
Speaker 2: Oh well, now we're going the wrong way. Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: supposed to go the other way. What is this? Some
Speaker 2: family circus map Barfy.
Speaker 4: My favorite thing about that family circus is their dog
Speaker 4: was named Barfy, which is fucking hilarious.
Speaker 2: I love really.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's and it's but every other It wasn't a strap,
Speaker 5: there's single panels.
Speaker 2: It was a circle. Yeah, it's a circle. Hands the name.
Speaker 5: But they would talk about Grandma and haven't Grandma's angel
Speaker 5: would come? Yeah, Grandma was taken away by an angel
Speaker 5: named diabetes.
Speaker 4: What like?
Speaker 2: They would always and it was supposed to be like
Speaker 2: it was never funny. No, well maybe if you were
Speaker 2: like seven or whatever. Yeah, it was comic strip funny,
Speaker 2: which is, you know a dog named Barfy is funny
Speaker 2: at age forty four. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you if you read it and you're not
Speaker 4: ready for it, and it's like.
Speaker 2: Barfy's just took the thing and you're just like, who
Speaker 2: named their dog Barfy? I can't. I don't know why.
Speaker 5: But it was when the Family Circuits Circle drawing panel
Speaker 5: was about Billy going through the neighborhood and there's a
Speaker 5: perforated you just followed his day and there's a dotted
Speaker 5: line that showed him jump on a trampoline, then pet
Speaker 5: a dog, and then mess with someone's hose.
Speaker 2: I loved following it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, that was good. I mean it really was
Speaker 4: for kids. Also, you're right, it's Family Circus. Family Circle
Speaker 4: is a magazine, is like a women's magazine.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I would have me. Sorry, I forgot what
Speaker 2: Family Circle was.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck's going on because I
Speaker 4: was going like in the wrong direction in this parking lot.
Speaker 4: It's sometimes it is hard to multitask and drive and
Speaker 4: have this conversation.
Speaker 2: It's fascinating.
Speaker 5: There have been people that said, you guys were so
Speaker 5: funny in the studio, and I'm like, I don't remember
Speaker 5: us enjoying the studio.
Speaker 2: No, it is long long ago, yeah, long long ago.
Speaker 5: And I think it's because we were just people don't
Speaker 5: realize how much funnier When could we if we weren't
Speaker 5: on the verge of head on collisioning.
Speaker 4: No, it's true, well, and the subject being fucking changed
Speaker 4: every twenty seconds because of just what we're seeing. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but in the studio I always just felt like, oh,
Speaker 4: that's true. That's when Aaron Brungart used to record us,
Speaker 4: and it would be yeah, we had some good shows, were.
Speaker 2: Good older and yeah, yeah we should call him, okay,
Speaker 2: take him to dinner really and quietly. Oh, I love
Speaker 2: I It's not even a situation that's ever happened, but
Speaker 2: I love thinking of awkward situations.
Speaker 5: And then in real life I shudder and like, yeah,
Speaker 5: backsweats a little.
Speaker 2: You mean, like forcing Aaron to eat if we invited
Speaker 2: him to dinner, sat down in neither of a senate
Speaker 2: and he's so nice and poliety, probably would just he
Speaker 2: would do the same thing. Yeah, but he would do
Speaker 2: what we were doing.
Speaker 5: Okay, we are now going to order coffee from this
Speaker 5: man and coffee shop.
Speaker 2: Should I let you order your own because I know
Speaker 2: that's what you like to do? Yeah, I am a
Speaker 2: control Hi, Stephen, do you want sure? I'll do a
Speaker 2: Grande pumpkin Cream cold brew. I'll do the same, Okay.
Speaker 4: Can I get too grande pumpkin cream cold bruise please?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 4: And can I get a double tall one pump mocha.
Speaker 2: That's gonna be it? Thank you? Do like that how
Speaker 2: that says Autumn. I would have never noticed that at
Speaker 2: the end there's an end Autumn. N that's hilarious.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I feel like Bucks is really is really
Speaker 4: high on itself right now because it's pumpkin Spice Lotte season. Sorry, ma'am,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I've made it hard for you to go
Speaker 4: to your audition. You're still gonna nail it.
Speaker 2: You got it, Leggings. You were right to get on
Speaker 2: that bus and lave your parents. Oh that was me.
Speaker 4: We have just this star This Starbucks drive through is
Speaker 4: wrapped around a building that isn't just a Starbucks, So
Speaker 4: then people have to cross through the drive through line
Speaker 4: to get to the other things that are involved.
Speaker 5: But like a lot of things, like when someone's sick,
Speaker 5: they forget, or when someone is sick and you tell
Speaker 5: them I'm sick, I can't come in. That person always
Speaker 5: forgets what it's like to be sick.
Speaker 2: And when you're in.
Speaker 5: This situation where you're stopped on a crosswalk because you
Speaker 5: have no choice because who leaves a car length and
Speaker 5: a fricking drive through.
Speaker 4: Well, and also because you don't want to to people
Speaker 4: who are trying to order behind you exactly.
Speaker 2: That was the first thing I thought of.
Speaker 4: Second thing I thought of was don't don't block the
Speaker 4: ways of all the actresses and yoga pants that are.
Speaker 5: Going to everyone in there is post na stay on
Speaker 5: this shing. They were going through lines and they're well
Speaker 5: lived up.
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm jealous because it's I just always look
Speaker 4: at those outfits and I can't imagine wearing like buff
Speaker 4: pink yoga pants.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. Sir again, I'm sorry. We do not have
Speaker 2: control over this situation.
Speaker 4: That guy was the director because he was wearing a
Speaker 4: baseball hat and a blazer.
Speaker 2: Yeah he really, He's like, he had a nice suit on,
Speaker 2: but he had some sneakers in a ball cap because
Speaker 2: he's a laid back director, casual. But if someone came
Speaker 2: here right now.
Speaker 5: If I was the one walking up and there's a
Speaker 5: crosswalk and there's a car in the middle of it,
Speaker 5: I'm trained to.
Speaker 2: Be like give them the look. Yes, for sure getting
Speaker 2: the look I would have given the No one deserves
Speaker 2: the look.
Speaker 4: We're off the crosswalk now and the car behind us
Speaker 4: has stopped so that they're not.
Speaker 2: They understand the situation. Maybe they're listening to the podcast.
Speaker 2: Are we live streaming? We live streaming. We do do that.
Speaker 2: Sh Sorry, guys, oh man, we forgot it. You gotta
Speaker 2: push the red button.
Speaker 4: Okay, I knew my purse for the just for a
Speaker 4: car for a card. Sure, thank you. This might be
Speaker 4: the same card because of the people that gave the
Speaker 4: last one that we used at the last visit because
Speaker 4: there was so much money on it, the one that
Speaker 4: was from Anna Beth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, guys, thing people know. I've been through your
Speaker 2: purse more than I have my own lethers. I still
Speaker 2: go through it. No, she used to. I studied.
Speaker 5: She'd drive me to school, hand me her coffee, which
Speaker 5: was just in a regular house mug yep, and and and.
Speaker 2: Drive like a bat out of hell of the school.
Speaker 2: And it so it really kept me on my toes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because it was hot coffee and her purse was
Speaker 5: in my lap and it spilled a little.
Speaker 2: It would spill in her purse. And I'm sorry, mother, mother, Mother,
Speaker 2: forgive me. I'm sorry for the coffee that I put
Speaker 2: in your purse, but you handed me to send coffee
Speaker 2: and purse.
Speaker 4: I went to dinner with my friend Jamie last night,
Speaker 4: who has two daughters, and she went, we went to pay,
Speaker 4: and she opened her wallet and I go, oh, do
Speaker 4: you have any cash for the valet? Because I knew
Speaker 4: I only had a single dollar, and then she she goes, yeah,
Speaker 4: I have a bunch of cash.
Speaker 2: And then she opened the wallet and she goes, God,
Speaker 2: damn it. They took money on my wallet again.
Speaker 4: And it made me laugh so hard because we used
Speaker 4: to do that to my mom all the time. I
Speaker 4: would constantly just go in and like take five dollars
Speaker 4: from my mom without asking, and she.
Speaker 2: Would it was It just made me. It made me
Speaker 2: miss the eighties so much. Yeah, that's a real eighties
Speaker 2: thing to steal from your parents. It just looks like you.
Speaker 2: I looked at my mother's wallet as like also my wallet,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 5: Now, it's so easy. I'm my sister would like a
Speaker 5: bill would come in. And she realized my nieces or
Speaker 5: my nephew when he was a kid, had ordered all
Speaker 5: these things on Amazon almost just like not even realizing
Speaker 5: it would come.
Speaker 2: It's just they're on TV.
Speaker 5: And oh yeah, oh, let me get I want this
Speaker 5: monster high doll. Whoops, I pushed the thing. I wonder
Speaker 5: if it'll come. Let's hide in our rooms.
Speaker 2: I want it. Yeah, it's the best. That's so funny.
Speaker 5: You don't have to be an old timey pickpocket anymore.
Speaker 2: You can cyber rob your parents. Wow, hello high No,
Speaker 2: thank you. I thought that guy said wow because he
Speaker 2: recognized you. Whatever. It happened again at a different location.
Speaker 2: Ooh looks good.
Speaker 4: No, that's okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh I see why you get these, Stephen. That is
Speaker 2: so good. This tastes like ice.
Speaker 5: Cream, but it's it's not as sweet as the original
Speaker 5: pumpkin slice a.
Speaker 2: Little bit more. That's today. Thank you. It's so.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm the person that I just used to
Speaker 5: always get black coffee feet.
Speaker 2: But my diet starts tomorrow, mom My daet starts tomorrow.
Speaker 2: It's such a walking Cathy car kind of looked like
Speaker 2: it was gonna hit your mirror.
Speaker 4: I know that a lot of cars these days, and
Speaker 4: I think it's I think it's uh simultaneous with the
Speaker 4: kind of crumbling of democracy. People are driving with a vengeance.
Speaker 4: People are going that shit. And there's a lot more
Speaker 4: honking these days.
Speaker 2: Yep. I find there's a lot more traffic.
Speaker 5: Yep, more people coming ending up at LAX with nothing
Speaker 5: but some yoga pants and sides.
Speaker 2: Yep. Two cars on the street. It's always a white Mercedes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sorry, but it's always a white Mercedes.
Speaker 2: Did you see the referendum that they're they're going to
Speaker 2: no longer allow Uber lifted the airport at Lax. Yes,
Speaker 2: Oh wow, this is going to be great for our booking.
Speaker 2: Yes wow.
Speaker 4: We're going to have so many more people asking us
Speaker 4: to be on the show that we don't take the
Speaker 4: time to book. That is.
Speaker 5: But now I'm thinking about my own airport trips. I
Speaker 5: rely on Lift, I know.
Speaker 4: And there's what they're saying is people are going to
Speaker 4: have to take a shuttle to a spot. Okay, like
Speaker 4: off you are. Most airports do that.
Speaker 2: You go, at least they have them drive through a
Speaker 2: special area in the parking garage or something. They don't
Speaker 2: just have them. It's unheard of lax. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can't speak for all airports.
Speaker 5: But they usually dullest, planned ahead, dullest off site, underground,
Speaker 5: second story, next, go.
Speaker 2: Ahead, give me were internation. Ginsburgh writer don't know anything
Speaker 2: about the Pittsburgh city has an airport lift Hubert. Much
Speaker 2: like Lax, you just do it. And so that's a
Speaker 2: bad example. Well let's talk about Allen Ginsburg. Let's talk
Speaker 2: about Alan Ginsburg's poetry.
Speaker 5: It's Ginsburg, the one that did the song always Wear Sunscreen?
Speaker 2: Or Am I wrong? I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Vonna gets you couldn't know.
Speaker 5: But then we're all wrong because I read it was
Speaker 5: just an article by this woman and they used it.
Speaker 2: For that song. I mean, but it was it was
Speaker 2: she kind of ripped off. So everyone's ripping each other off. Look,
Speaker 2: that is the way of the world these days. Just
Speaker 2: like you know, Carnosaur was like alien. I like to
Speaker 2: bring up conversations we had off podcasts.
Speaker 5: Mike, people will listen, will be like, wait, maybe I'm
Speaker 5: wasn't paying attention.
Speaker 2: Listen not at all.
Speaker 4: That was a conversation that was had forty five minutes
Speaker 4: in way off Mike.
Speaker 2: This is a fun side street that I accidentally went down.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this looks like a fake That looks like a
Speaker 5: fake alley a Universal studio.
Speaker 2: It really did.
Speaker 4: In that restaurant's called Mini Kebab, which I want to
Speaker 4: know if it's because it's a little restaurant or if
Speaker 4: they give you a kebab on like a toothpit.
Speaker 2: I certainly hope it's. Oh.
Speaker 5: You know how I love mediatures, and if they're actually edible,
Speaker 5: Oh ah, I want to make a burrito for a
Speaker 5: mouse so bad. Have you seen these burrito mouse videos? Yes,
Speaker 5: there's a whole slew of them. You can go down
Speaker 5: to a real mouse hole watching them. They have tiny
Speaker 5: They make a little chef make a little.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, I'm sorry, why that's a man chill talking? Oh?
Speaker 2: And then I stare down. And also I just rolled
Speaker 2: forward a little bit.
Speaker 5: Your honk was sufficient. We didn't need your devil eyes.
Speaker 4: Although they knew because I was looking at that stop
Speaker 4: light right and it was green.
Speaker 2: I was going to go, oh, right, they.
Speaker 5: Maybe that woman's like it was a honk that sounds
Speaker 5: like hey, but it was really a honk that's like I've.
Speaker 2: Made that mistake before. Friend was totally understanding. Don't be
Speaker 2: like me. That was a honk of compassion. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 2: it was recent You noticed neckberries.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, see, people are flying off these it's nuts
Speaker 4: out here, guys.
Speaker 2: I blame the current political climate.
Speaker 4: It's the only explanation it is. Thank you, ma'am for
Speaker 4: your compassionate honk.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's nice. Oh it's a guy. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 2: he looks like he's friendly because he's a man that
Speaker 2: looks like an old woman. That is, actually, any man
Speaker 2: that looks like an.
Speaker 5: Elderly old librarian lady is probably the sweetest.
Speaker 4: Usually not super agrom Sorry, it's always the guys that
Speaker 4: look like, you know, a Gary Busey type.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he looked that way because of the faces he's
Speaker 5: made his whole life.
Speaker 2: Yes, everyone knows when he is young.
Speaker 5: I used to bet people that because people would just say, oh,
Speaker 5: have you seen Big Wednesday with Nick Nolty, I'm like, God,
Speaker 5: damn it, that's not Nick Nolty, it's Gary Busey. For
Speaker 5: the longest time when they were both and now they
Speaker 5: both are like rugged, jagged, scarfaced, sunken eyed men. Based
Speaker 5: on lifestyle and their faces turned into who they've been.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true. God, I hope they don't listen.
Speaker 5: Oh, oh, I ope Jake Bucy's listening.
Speaker 2: It seems like he'd listen to podcasts. I think it's interesting.
Speaker 4: Jake Bucy proves that you can inherit teeth, right because
Speaker 4: he has the exact same teeth that his father has.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 5: I guess you know. It's all based on scale. I
Speaker 5: have my dad's shin bones and legs would be weird.
Speaker 2: Just the shit, I mean, legs, the whole leg, top
Speaker 2: and bottom, and aren't teeth bones? They aren't. I tricked you.
Speaker 2: They're not, are they No? Because bones go away and
Speaker 2: teeth stay forever. Right where do bones go?
Speaker 4: Do you?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 5: I mean if you burn someone, there's still going to
Speaker 5: be teeth, So they are just fun. If you make
Speaker 5: a mass grave and pull some some kind of burn,
Speaker 5: get try and get rid of a body with burning
Speaker 5: Oh got it.
Speaker 2: The teeth always end up in there, right, like the
Speaker 2: last to go. Yeah, gotch you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Now that we know what you're talking about, it's
Speaker 4: so much less scary.
Speaker 2: That was a little bit disturbing for a while. Oh,
Speaker 2: because I was just bringing up body burning. You said
Speaker 2: bones are the last to go. You're the one that
Speaker 2: got me in all this murder shit. You started it.
Speaker 4: No, I you know, look, I want to talk about
Speaker 4: I wanted to talk about bodies being burnt.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about bones going last.
Speaker 5: Yes, of course, first, like we said, this is going
Speaker 5: to be a positive episode.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get all high on my coffee. We're really
Speaker 4: going to figure it out.
Speaker 2: We're really going to ramp this up at the end.
Speaker 5: I like how we start kind of cool and casual,
Speaker 5: how you been friend was your weekend?
Speaker 2: And then by the end we're swinging the chandelier like
Speaker 2: it'll be like that would be right at the time.
Speaker 4: My mom would go, you're laughing now, but you're going
Speaker 4: to be crying in a minute.
Speaker 5: Oh just because you're oh not. It wouldn't be caffeine based.
Speaker 4: Just like childhood based, when you would be like laughing
Speaker 4: and everything would.
Speaker 2: Get real spased out, really hyped up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then that's when my mom would yelled out
Speaker 4: from the other room. And she was always right because
Speaker 4: then somebody would like accidentally slap someone across the face
Speaker 4: and it would all, you know, turn to tears.
Speaker 2: Did I tell you about the time. I wasn't babysitting.
Speaker 5: I was just my dad had a friend and his
Speaker 5: son was al at the time.
Speaker 2: He has since I'm so old.
Speaker 5: He since had a professional skiing.
Speaker 2: Career and retired. No really, but yeah, but he was
Speaker 2: a little kid with diapers at this point, and I
Speaker 2: I threw something we were playing. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: think I hit his head with like a block or
Speaker 2: something like a piece of wood hit his head and
Speaker 2: he started crying, and I'm like, oh shit, time to
Speaker 2: make him laugh, And so I like started throwing bricks
Speaker 2: up in the air to land on my head.
Speaker 5: So I'm evening it out and also comedically getting hurt.
Speaker 5: It's perfect, good kid, Yes, And I threw one. It
Speaker 5: hit a light fixture, the glass. It broke into shards
Speaker 5: of glass. A piece of glass came down and went
Speaker 5: through my ear, like in the back of my ear,
Speaker 5: and blood just started pouring down my face. Then he
Speaker 5: started laughing. That was very funny. Little kids don't understand blood.
Speaker 5: He just thought, how did you make yeh? Bright red liquid.
Speaker 2: Come out of your head? A majestic apart, And so
Speaker 2: my dad came in and it's like, how the hell
Speaker 2: are you bleeding everywhere? It's just it went through. It
Speaker 2: was just a long piece of glass and went through
Speaker 2: my outer ear and I had to get stitches and everything.
Speaker 2: But my dad he replaced the light fixture for his
Speaker 2: friend and replaced it with the scariest clown.
Speaker 5: And that was the one time I saw this kid.
Speaker 5: I was like, do you still have that scary ass
Speaker 5: clown light fixture? He's like, yeah, well I don't know
Speaker 5: why I have that. And then I told him the
Speaker 5: whole story, because of course he didn't remember.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. Yeah, and the reason you grew up with
Speaker 2: a clown on your ceiling.
Speaker 4: Your dad was like, this will be great because a
Speaker 4: child will love a clown.
Speaker 2: Lightness.
Speaker 5: I think that he said, I got to replace this
Speaker 5: piece of ceiling, the light fixture glass.
Speaker 2: Oh, these are on sale because they're horrified. And it
Speaker 2: was just a hood kid. Blood agot murdered. Sorry, no,
Speaker 2: I just want to unveil my clown character. No, no,
Speaker 2: I wasn't saying no to that. Like I do like
Speaker 2: the character. I love the character is you're ripping it
Speaker 2: off from the Sensen.
Speaker 4: What I love, though, is I don't like the idea
Speaker 4: because I was picturing looking up and just seeing like
Speaker 4: a standard Barnum and Bailey clown face.
Speaker 5: It is horrible. It's the kind of clown open mouth.
Speaker 5: You might as well be squirting a square gun in there.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: Yeah, although I do love that game at the fair,
Speaker 4: scorting a score gun into like a clown mouth so
Speaker 4: that the balloon pops and or you make horses race
Speaker 4: is the best game there is.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there is a there's an anxiety. It's the fun kind,
Speaker 5: but you really because it's a race. But you just
Speaker 5: have to keep it steady into your thing.
Speaker 2: Yes, and so the excitement of wanting to get you
Speaker 2: will get shaky and it throws off your game. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you gotta stay cool and collect like it's the land loop.
Speaker 4: They basically are training children to be marksmen at a
Speaker 4: young age.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. You're right, that's what I'm about.
Speaker 2: I'm bad. If you ask any marine why they wanted
Speaker 2: to become a sniper, I'll say.
Speaker 4: Fair clowns, fair clowns. I wanted to shoot a clown
Speaker 4: in the mouth.
Speaker 2: Since I was a child, I never I was raised
Speaker 2: not to even the b beguns. They had the baby guns.
Speaker 5: That were rapid fire and they put up a piece
Speaker 5: of paper with a star. And remember you had to
Speaker 5: shoot out the star, yep, or whoever shot the most
Speaker 5: of the star.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to. I always thought someone would take
Speaker 2: one of those baby guns and just turn and shoot
Speaker 2: me in the eye. Well that's happened, of course it would.
Speaker 2: They're horrifying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and children shouldn't play with a thing that can
Speaker 4: actually put out your eye like a little Mexican dog.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, was that.
Speaker 4: On the air?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: No, sorry, oh that was frere topic. Sorry everybody.
Speaker 5: No, but there's there's blind dogs out there, and some
Speaker 5: of them it's at the hands of a baby gun.
Speaker 4: The idea that Chris's friend rescued a blind dog off
Speaker 4: the streets of Mexico, and I was filled with an
Speaker 4: agitation before you told all the parts about how happy
Speaker 4: and great this dog.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because the dog doesn't know he's bline, she's blind. Yeah,
Speaker 5: she's just like I'm a regular dog. No one ever
Speaker 5: told me, yep, this is how we all are. And
Speaker 5: then you open the little eyelids and there just wasn't eyeballs,
Speaker 5: never developed them.
Speaker 2: Well, because I.
Speaker 4: Think about everyone's while I think about Frank and I
Speaker 4: think about Frank being on the streets by himself, and
Speaker 4: I get really upset.
Speaker 2: And he has both really big old bulgy eyes.
Speaker 4: So and even that is like so sad for a
Speaker 4: little dog to be on the street alone.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you think eyes, You think of the eyes crying,
Speaker 5: You think of dirt and dust getting in the eyes.
Speaker 2: Yep, no, no eye drops for that dog. This dog
Speaker 2: was like, no worries, who cares, he's probably hearing unbelievable.
Speaker 2: I probably looked fun. I probably didn't just eat a
Speaker 2: dead rat.
Speaker 4: Maybe he developed so many other senses. He's a great
Speaker 4: painter or whatever.
Speaker 2: Just that dog.
Speaker 5: I'll tell you one thing has great spatial awareness. Just
Speaker 5: almost measures a room like an appraiser.
Speaker 4: You will never sit too close to you and make
Speaker 4: you uncomfortable, won't sit too far away from you r
Speaker 4: you feel bad.
Speaker 2: Just guy knows how to give you your space. M
Speaker 2: h knows how to maintain, but not so far that
Speaker 2: you feel cold and abandoned, abandoned, abandoned. We were talking
Speaker 2: about marines and something came up. Mistakes, children getting hurt. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: we covered it. Okay, bye, Hey that's my childhood and
Speaker 2: I lost it. That's okay.
Speaker 4: We are in the kind of a warehouse area of Glendale,
Speaker 4: going into like Eagle Rock Island Park.
Speaker 2: Okay, I maybe could have guessed that.
Speaker 4: I like this area. I think it's like where you
Speaker 4: could your band could practice. Oh I just saw a
Speaker 4: sign that said drum school.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and somewhere in here h Robin von Swink, who's
Speaker 5: a photographer who's very good to my first oiled up photos.
Speaker 2: Oh nice. She's like, here, have some whiskey, put this
Speaker 2: baby oil on this vest. I was like, what do
Speaker 2: we do it?
Speaker 4: That was one the one where you were kind of
Speaker 4: it almost looked like a metal Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that was great. Yeah. I just brought in
Speaker 2: a vest and I was like, we could do something
Speaker 2: with that's sleeveless best And she was like, I know
Speaker 2: exactly what your entire album is going to look like.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that was her. That's she's amazing.
Speaker 4: She did my favorite Murders picture that we used over
Speaker 4: and over.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I haven't gotten new ones of yet. I
Speaker 2: will always use her if she'll have me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's very famous now. She does very well for herself,
Speaker 4: which is very cool. She deserves it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like it, and she's like shot like music
Speaker 5: videos for like metal bands.
Speaker 2: Oh cool, very dark? Uh dark? I don't like that word,
Speaker 2: but you know, for lack of a better word, I mean,
Speaker 2: what else you supposed to say? Theme? The lighting is great, though.
Speaker 4: She just turns out at the light and turns on
Speaker 4: her video camera. Chris, Yes, if you have to fight
Speaker 4: one hundred.
Speaker 2: I've been sick for a week. Turned into Nick Nolty.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I had I totally had allergies.
Speaker 2: Have you ever had this happen?
Speaker 5: My eyes are watering, my nose was plugged up, I
Speaker 5: couldn't breathe, and I knew it was allergies.
Speaker 2: It just was, and it just turned into a cold.
Speaker 2: Is that possible?
Speaker 4: I mean no, Okay, Allergies are like a reaction to
Speaker 4: pollen and dust and things you're allergic to. Colds are
Speaker 4: virus and you get it because it's like a sickness.
Speaker 5: Well, then this was an allergy like never before I've
Speaker 5: ever had where I.
Speaker 2: Start coughing and got a sore throat. Okay, but that
Speaker 2: sounds like you got a cold.
Speaker 5: Every time I'm sneezing my whole life though, it's like
Speaker 5: you you start sneezing like someone's getting a cold. I've
Speaker 5: never sneezed while sick ever in my life. Sneezing is
Speaker 5: just allergies. Allergies, yeah, okay, just never has happened.
Speaker 2: It's like when I would fartre something, my dad my
Speaker 2: ex step mom was like, oh, you should use the restroom.
Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no connection between that. And there's definitely
Speaker 2: there's a connection, but it just at that moment. Some
Speaker 2: people they got their their tubes are different in their body.
Speaker 2: The fart tube is connected to this.
Speaker 5: Its toes and I I really I had allergies so
Speaker 5: bad that I just start coughing and I lost my
Speaker 5: voice and I think it just turned it. Okay, maybe
Speaker 5: it was a cold and this is the first time
Speaker 5: I've sneezed. Yeah, anyway, yeah, I was sick. You're changing,
Speaker 5: You're growing up. I'm growing up. I'm maturing. I'm getting
Speaker 5: more and more ill.
Speaker 2: You're dying. That's what growing up is. We really is.
Speaker 2: It sounds grim, but we're all dying. We're all just dying.
Speaker 2: Sure as the earth that's spinning, you're going to be
Speaker 2: tits up by the end of the week. Get ready,
Speaker 2: years years.
Speaker 4: I always drive us over here kind of near that
Speaker 4: weird home depot that's under the freeway.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I need to turn around because it's a
Speaker 2: weird habit. I sometimes skateboard there at that home depot.
Speaker 2: Yeah there's a good one. Yeah there is. There's cement.
Speaker 2: People have made things there. But Monday, the security guard
Speaker 2: came over.
Speaker 5: And it's just a sign of the times that that
Speaker 5: is its skateboarding is more accepted now. He's like, I'm
Speaker 5: so sorry, but I can't let you skate here anymore.
Speaker 5: There's now a camera inside, and I have a security
Speaker 5: manager that gets mad at me and I don't come
Speaker 5: kick you out. And he's here today he like apologized,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, well, that's the nicest way I've ever
Speaker 5: been kicked out of anywhere. He's like, I think it's
Speaker 5: great what you guys do. There's nothing else going on here,
Speaker 5: but you gotta go.
Speaker 2: I feel like.
Speaker 4: In the eighties when skateboarding first became like I became
Speaker 4: aware of it, I would say late eighties. Yeah, it
Speaker 4: was this thing where it was like it's skateboarders versus
Speaker 4: security guards and cops instead of a go skater, go home,
Speaker 4: and fucking skateboarding is not a crime or whatever, and
Speaker 4: then everyone realized, oh, actually, most all skateboarders are super cool.
Speaker 4: People are incredibly chill and not trying to be dicks
Speaker 4: at all. They're just trying to have fun and skateboard
Speaker 4: and it's not a big deal. And so it feels
Speaker 4: like these days it's like that whole thing of like, god,
Speaker 4: damn you kids, get out of here is like it
Speaker 4: doesn't even make sense anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't, but it's still it is the case,
Speaker 2: is it, Yeah, because well, now there're skate parks and
Speaker 2: that's where people get good. But if you're watching like
Speaker 2: a skate video, no.
Speaker 5: One wants to watch skate park footage necessarily, so it's
Speaker 5: still is street skating. There's still security guards. They still
Speaker 5: get mad and chase you and try and grab you.
Speaker 5: Yeah it's hilary. Yeah it's insane, but most kids know
Speaker 5: how to deal with it and calmly say I understand,
Speaker 5: thank you, Can I try one more time?
Speaker 2: And then the security guard will be like, okay.
Speaker 5: But you better do it, and then they land in
Speaker 5: some escape videos there's no more time, please, and then
Speaker 5: we'll leave and then someone pulls out there permit for
Speaker 5: shooting or whatever.
Speaker 2: But yeah, bits you're right, was there, did you?
Speaker 5: I went to Petaluma, but I don't feel like I
Speaker 5: got to see your town.
Speaker 2: Just yeah. The venue was like near breweries. Am I
Speaker 2: saying that right? There's a bunch of.
Speaker 5: When we were right by the brewery and no, and
Speaker 5: I didn't, but I did go through enough to be like,
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, this is like it seemed like Mendocino
Speaker 5: where so like a Antelotte Lansbury type.
Speaker 2: There was these cool old houses.
Speaker 5: And I kept looking for to see if I could
Speaker 5: spot your parents' car, even though I don't know, I
Speaker 5: don't know what to look a foxy Volvo actually, yes,
Speaker 5: and yeah.
Speaker 4: And then the main strip pedlum of Boulevard is where
Speaker 4: all the really old buildings are that look, they shot
Speaker 4: Peggy Seue got Married there.
Speaker 2: They shot, of course, Howard the Duck. There they shot.
Speaker 4: A bunch of different movies because that's Francis Ford. Coppola
Speaker 4: likes to shoot in Pedaloma because it's all really legit
Speaker 4: old looking.
Speaker 2: Oh well, Peggy Sue got Married? Was that? Kathleen Turner, Yes,
Speaker 2: and Nicholas Cage. It's actually a great movie. I'd never
Speaker 2: have seen it it's really good.
Speaker 4: It's like a woman who wakes up and she's a
Speaker 4: teenager again and she's like, thinks it's really hilarious and stupid,
Speaker 4: but she has to relive and she's like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: this was my boyfriend and it's Nicholas Cage being a
Speaker 4: total Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 2: It's really funny. And then there's one moment freaking out
Speaker 2: eating beetles.
Speaker 4: Yes, but there's a moment where she's like at her
Speaker 4: house or whatever, and she the phone rings and she
Speaker 4: answers it and it's her grandma, and it's the most
Speaker 4: beautiful moment. And Kathleen Turner is such a goddamn great
Speaker 4: actress where it's that thing of you don't she wasn't
Speaker 4: thinking about it because she's like, oh my god, I've.
Speaker 2: Gone back in time. This is so stupid.
Speaker 4: She's like an adult, you know, dressing like a teenager
Speaker 4: and acting like she telling her friends like we need
Speaker 4: to smoke, and the friends are like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: Piggy's see what's wrong with you, you know whatever. But
Speaker 4: then the phone rings it's her grandma.
Speaker 2: She's like Grandma, Oh my god, and she.
Speaker 4: Has a total like freak out because it's her dead grandma, oh,
Speaker 4: once again alive and it's and that's her Mom's like, Peggy,
Speaker 4: so you're sick, go lay down.
Speaker 2: It's so funny that I haven't seen that movie, but
Speaker 2: I do know.
Speaker 5: There is a scene from seeing the trailer where she's
Speaker 5: laughing because her dad bought.
Speaker 2: A net Soul. Yes, you bought an nets soul. Yes,
Speaker 2: And the way she laughs is so good. And I
Speaker 2: had to turn to my dad and I'm like, what
Speaker 2: the hell's an that soult? And He's like, it was
Speaker 2: a car that was like a design accomplishment that no
Speaker 2: one bought and it was ugly.
Speaker 5: Yes, And I'm like, okay, now, I guess I get
Speaker 5: the car joke from the fifties.
Speaker 4: It was like, it's almost like you bought a ugo
Speaker 4: type type of joke from the fifties.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's great. And that was that.
Speaker 4: They're her house where they shot that scene, and they
Speaker 4: actually used the house on that street is right off of.
Speaker 2: One of the main streets in town, and.
Speaker 4: Right on the corner of that street is Volpi's, the
Speaker 4: restaurant we always go to. My family always goes to
Speaker 4: that's been there since like the twenties or something. It's
Speaker 4: very like, yeah, if you went into like pedalom a city,
Speaker 4: it's just kind of very quaint.
Speaker 2: It's like the definition of quaints. Yeah. I didn't know
Speaker 2: what to expect. I don't. I'm just the word didn't.
Speaker 5: I didn't know what I thought I was going to
Speaker 5: announcekirt of San Francisco. I didn't know where I was going.
Speaker 5: I didn't realize it was such.
Speaker 2: A cool town. You didn't realize the rich history. Oh
Speaker 2: so rich and rich.
Speaker 4: There's a skate park also now over by the new Target,
Speaker 4: so all the.
Speaker 2: Kids get to go skating now you tell me. But
Speaker 2: it's like it's for kids. It's a little one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, a little dips Yeah, sure, no, there is.
Speaker 2: There's little kid parks.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I feel like I shouldn't be going fast.
Speaker 2: At them or going to them. Well it's funny because
Speaker 2: that is up for debate.
Speaker 5: Are you know it's a skate park, but now they're
Speaker 5: inhabited by tiny children?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Little scooters, yeah, little babies and helmets. It's like, wait,
Speaker 2: this is a skateboard park. I'm skateboard but it's like,
Speaker 2: but a little kid playing should have priority?
Speaker 5: Yeah, but they don't know what they're doing, and they're
Speaker 5: gonna run India and get hurt. They're gonna gotta fuck
Speaker 5: it up, and you're trying to shred and then you
Speaker 5: say I'm sorry, sweetie, and they're like, did you call
Speaker 5: me Sweedie?
Speaker 2: Who the hell are you? And I'm like that came
Speaker 2: out weird. I'm an uncle, so I said that. And
Speaker 2: then you say, go skater go home. Yeah locals only,
Speaker 2: that's so fat. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I call him a Barney and a Howie and I
Speaker 5: tell him go back to the mainland.
Speaker 2: They're like, I don't even waite here. This is California.
Speaker 2: I get to go to Hawaii soon. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is
Speaker 2: suit You've got to go to Hawaii tomorrow. That's my
Speaker 2: surprise reveal. Oh wow, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 4: Just it's Adrian's birthday and so a bunch of people
Speaker 4: are already over there and they're just chilling out for uh.
Speaker 2: I think Adrian is there for like two weeks or something.
Speaker 4: So my sister can't go because she has to teach
Speaker 4: kindergarteners how to be in school.
Speaker 2: So they invited me to go and then I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: well I can go, of course.
Speaker 4: Why have you ever been to Oh yeah, I've been
Speaker 4: a handful of times. But this spot is especially fun
Speaker 4: because it's it's nice and it's our friend Janet has
Speaker 4: actually has a house, so it's like they live in
Speaker 4: a neighborhood and you know, it's cool.
Speaker 2: Are you going to snorkele?
Speaker 4: No? I snorkeled once. I didn't have a great time.
Speaker 4: I think what you think it's going to be, it's
Speaker 4: not at all. And I love I love swimming in
Speaker 4: the ocean. I love being in the ocean. I can
Speaker 4: just stand there, float whatever. But the snorkeling thing I
Speaker 4: get like if I'm out Like I we went snorkeling
Speaker 4: one time and then I was just out in the
Speaker 4: water for a really long time. And then I couldn't
Speaker 4: get this the feeling of floating in water out of
Speaker 4: my head. I can't really explain it, but it weirded
Speaker 4: me out, like it got into my ears or something
Speaker 4: like balance wise, Like I felt this weird floating feeling
Speaker 4: for like two days.
Speaker 5: Well, we all have different I guess equilibriums or whatever.
Speaker 5: Like I one time went snorkeling with my brother in
Speaker 5: law who's a fireman who teaches water.
Speaker 2: Oh, my god.
Speaker 5: One time he is he was teaching the other fireman
Speaker 5: this water rescue clinic thing. Yeah, and as he was
Speaker 5: teaching it, someone was drowning in the river and he
Speaker 5: saved them.
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, in Spokane, there's a raging river that goes
Speaker 2: through this city. I think it was an other fireman
Speaker 2: that lost that started drowning and he saved him. During
Speaker 2: the class, He's like, well, I guess I mean kind
Speaker 2: of like that.
Speaker 5: And another time he is doing some water rescue thing,
Speaker 5: is in a kayak and a giant fish jumped into
Speaker 5: his kayak and he just.
Speaker 2: Was holding it like he caught it.
Speaker 5: No, Like Mike went fishing and she showed me a
Speaker 5: fix my sister and a fish jumped in his kayak.
Speaker 2: Love it. It must be a magnetic personality he is.
Speaker 5: But he was able to swim thirty feet down and
Speaker 5: he played water polo and every he's like a water
Speaker 5: person And I would swim down like five feet immediately
Speaker 5: ears plugged up headache.
Speaker 2: I thought my head was gonna implode.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and he just is able to go all the
Speaker 5: way down because he has a better skull or a
Speaker 5: better cochlea.
Speaker 2: He's done it more a better an villain hammer. He
Speaker 2: just has more experience, I guess. So, yeah, with the
Speaker 2: hammer of experience is what that man? That's right? And yeah,
Speaker 2: it's yeah. I can't remember why I was talking about
Speaker 2: that water resc oh, because we were talking about Hawaii.
Speaker 5: Oh yes, yes, I went to Hawaii a few years
Speaker 5: ago to see a couple of friends that I grew
Speaker 5: up with in Missoula. One of them, she was in
Speaker 5: Los Angeles, and while she was at some party in
Speaker 5: a conversational friendly way, invited Chewye, the little person that
Speaker 5: was a sidekick on Chelsea Lately, to come to Hawaii.
Speaker 5: I arrived and chewy just showed up the next day
Speaker 5: and she was kind of like, yeah, the guy from
Speaker 5: Chelsea Lately is coming, and We're like, what the because
Speaker 5: that show was very much on and there was a
Speaker 5: you know, comics were on panel. That was like a
Speaker 5: huge show at the time. And he showed up. He
Speaker 5: is there all week. He had never swam before.
Speaker 2: Wow. There was a little floaty thing with a little
Speaker 2: window on it, and he laid on it and I
Speaker 2: just like, as we are snarkling, I just kind of
Speaker 2: swam with that. And he had never he had never
Speaker 2: even been in a swimming pool and he was freaking out,
Speaker 2: like I'm swimming, I'm swimming. He was so excited.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was really cool. I totally bonded with this guy.
Speaker 5: He's the sweetest man ever. He was totally cool. I
Speaker 5: think he thought that maybe there's some going to be
Speaker 5: some romance with my friend's friend.
Speaker 2: And she was like, oh no, I don't think he
Speaker 2: got you that way. And he was like, okay, cool,
Speaker 2: and it was just and then he was just fuf.
Speaker 4: We can only all be that way, right he did
Speaker 4: in the face of rejection.
Speaker 2: Man, he handled that well.
Speaker 4: Could you imagine You're like, well, I'm pretty sure is
Speaker 4: the sure thing I'm going to Hawaii?
Speaker 2: Nope, just a flatinise. It was a tiny ice cube
Speaker 2: and I kind of spit it in my cup and
Speaker 2: it's it launched on the side of my mouth and
Speaker 2: rested on your arm. One time, I was eating a
Speaker 2: burger onto my arm. I just washed my hands.
Speaker 6: It's not Pete had a burger.
Speaker 5: I was eating a burger at Hanano's and I bit
Speaker 5: into it and there was a pepper in the burger.
Speaker 5: It squirted pepper juice into the man's eye next to me.
Speaker 2: Yes, directly in his eye, and.
Speaker 6: He was like, what the fuck was I basically maced
Speaker 6: him and he was actually mad. He grabbed me and
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh my god, that was such an accident.
Speaker 2: I didn't mean to pepper your eye.
Speaker 5: And then he ended up being some guy that worked
Speaker 5: at Lapstub and he was totally like a comedy ticketing person.
Speaker 2: Thank God.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think I've told you this story, but
Speaker 4: I did the same thing. I bit down on a
Speaker 4: cherry tomato when we were I was twelve and we
Speaker 4: were at a dance. We were like at a dance
Speaker 4: convention in San Francisco and our my jazz dancing.
Speaker 5: This is when you were in that competitive jazz dance
Speaker 5: trip at the height.
Speaker 4: Of like flash dance popularity. Every every girl took jazz.
Speaker 4: They called it jazz. Sure, sure, And so we went.
Speaker 5: Everyone ended their routine with backwards chair pulling a bucket waters.
Speaker 2: Everyone was a stripper age be damn.
Speaker 4: So we went there and it was like it was
Speaker 4: called the Debree Dance Convention, and you like, you did
Speaker 4: a bunch of routines and then you got picked and
Speaker 4: then if you got like there was a chance you
Speaker 4: could go to Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: It was all this weird, dumb bullshit. I'm sure it
Speaker 2: was a scamp.
Speaker 4: But at the last night they had like a dinner
Speaker 4: for everybody, and so a couple girls there had parents there,
Speaker 4: but most of us did not. And this woman was
Speaker 4: sitting across from me. Of course she was wearing a
Speaker 4: white silk shirt, and of course she was like one
Speaker 4: of the fancy fancy moms or whatever. And I bit
Speaker 4: into a cherry tomato and the cherry tomato innerds squirted
Speaker 4: across the table onto her white silk shirt, and she
Speaker 4: was like.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god.
Speaker 4: And had this reaction like she was in like a
Speaker 4: Rodney Dangerfield movie, like she's.
Speaker 2: Like to get this draggling.
Speaker 4: And I was just sitting there with cherry tomato dripping
Speaker 4: down my chin like smiling.
Speaker 2: I just didn't know what to do.
Speaker 4: And it wasn't like I bit into it like a
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, It was just like normal
Speaker 4: salad eating.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, you'd never know because usually chances are
Speaker 5: it's gonna square it somewhere in your mouth, not out
Speaker 5: of the tiny hole that you maybe left.
Speaker 4: Maybe it was breathing at the same time. I don't
Speaker 4: know what I did wrong. But man, this lady.
Speaker 5: Was ys Hey, someone should have told you this a
Speaker 5: long time ago.
Speaker 2: You did nothing wrong, thank you.
Speaker 4: Somebody should have told me this a long time ago.
Speaker 4: Show business as hell.
Speaker 7: When someone should have told her, that's a long time ago.
Speaker 7: White silk is out, that's staying. I did you a favor, honey,
Speaker 7: all the way November. Now take the white silk out.
Speaker 2: God shot. There was some white silk boxer craze. I
Speaker 2: don't know if it was a craze, but there was
Speaker 2: a year where I had nothing but silk boxers. They
Speaker 2: were on sale to the bond marchhe or some silk
Speaker 2: was a thing for a while, Silk ties for Dad's,
Speaker 2: silk boxers for the boy. But and the white silk
Speaker 2: and they defied gravity. No, I know, I had purple.
Speaker 5: I know it's green anyway, the colors no matter. Okay,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I the colors no matter.
Speaker 2: It was one hundred percent silk. And I'm trying to
Speaker 2: tell you what silk boxer. Oh my god, they would
Speaker 2: defy grid. They would just climb up my butt. Really yeah.
Speaker 5: They as you shimmy and shake, They just hike and
Speaker 5: hike and hike and uh probably the shirts did that too,
Speaker 5: and you did her a favor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I did her a favorite.
Speaker 4: The car to about five hundred and fifty dollars is
Speaker 4: roughly the estimate the price.
Speaker 2: To me, that's a lot of dance troupe winnings. That's
Speaker 2: a are you out of town? Hello? That person.
Speaker 5: I had a look on my face that was angry,
Speaker 5: but it was just one of sheer amazement I was.
Speaker 2: I was literally going.
Speaker 4: What.
Speaker 2: You just got tomato on my silk? That? See? We're
Speaker 2: all keyed up for the end.
Speaker 5: Oh, look at this, this is great. What is Team Mobius?
Speaker 5: Is that your old dance troupe?
Speaker 2: Karen's parking curb says Team Mobius, and that needs to
Speaker 2: be painted. Do you need me to come over with stencils?
Speaker 2: Would you please? The miz killed gas? Would you make
Speaker 2: it into Team Modius? Just slightly changed? Yeah, just ver
Speaker 2: so slightly. Well, one day we'll know what that means. Now,
Speaker 2: and they get to the it's the tea that was
Speaker 2: here several teams ago.
Speaker 5: Well, listen, I don't know that the caffeine ever kicked in.
Speaker 5: I know there's a couple times during this podcast where
Speaker 5: I ran blank and then I'd stop and say why
Speaker 5: am I talking about this?
Speaker 2: And there? But I still think this was a great episode. No,
Speaker 2: I did to look.
Speaker 4: No one's coming here looking for consistency topics to be
Speaker 4: deeply explored us to not repeat ourselves a bunch of times.
Speaker 2: No, they can't be at this point. We're in year five.
Speaker 4: We're the ones setting this tone of total random car talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's nothing else.
Speaker 4: If you've come here for more, for history, lessons or
Speaker 4: advice or anything, this.
Speaker 2: Is worthwhile at all. It's not happening. We should say
Speaker 2: this right at the top.
Speaker 4: We should give that to me. Stephen, can you cut
Speaker 4: and paste this to the top? Stephen, you're like Clippy?
Speaker 4: Can you cut and paste this?
Speaker 2: Comes now? Clippy is the editing mascot. Who's Clippy? We
Speaker 2: both have very similar eyes. Yes you do. And doesn't
Speaker 2: clippys have a mustage too? I will, we will give
Speaker 2: him a mustache. Blink link. We've done everything we can do.
Speaker 2: That's we've done it all.
Speaker 5: I'm good that being said our last episode. I listened
Speaker 5: to it, and god, we really are funny.
Speaker 2: Oh did it work out good?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Your god?
Speaker 5: Back and forth tag, you say a thing, you set
Speaker 5: it up, knock them down. I set up you knock
Speaker 5: him down. Back and forth, non stop. Poignant things were said.
Speaker 5: We did give advice, We had good story. The question
Speaker 5: spawned of new stories. Oh I knocking around in there.
Speaker 5: I don't have to repeat myself.
Speaker 2: No, no, We've got plenty to talk about, you know.
Speaker 4: Then, thank you, guys, listeners and people who wrote in,
Speaker 4: wrote in, who tweeted or instagram.
Speaker 5: Those who talked got pulled out their feather quill and
Speaker 5: penned us a nice world.
Speaker 2: Thank you plicking that stamp and sending it to our
Speaker 2: box and sealing it with wax. Yes, with a little
Speaker 2: uh the secret? What is that with the book? The secret? Yes?
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you you.
Speaker 4: You visualized us into existence and we appreciate it.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I appreciate it. We appreciate it so much.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I don't like when people do that, and I no, no, no, please.
Speaker 4: You're always welcome to do whatever. Observe you know that
Speaker 4: we will definitely shar getting guests again. It's just sometimes
Speaker 4: I can't be bothered to do it right.
Speaker 2: You just can't. No, I understand. Billy WAYN Davis is
Speaker 2: coming on this podcast.
Speaker 5: We have been ever, no one has been more promoted
Speaker 5: than Billy bw D.
Speaker 4: And he's the funniest and a great He won't be
Speaker 4: able to live up to the hype because now it's
Speaker 4: like it's like a four episode promo sweep that no
Speaker 4: one's ever gotten before.
Speaker 2: But it's going to be great.
Speaker 5: Maybe next time, maybe if it works out. I apologize
Speaker 5: for my horsey laugh.
Speaker 4: I apologize for my uh at this point, kind of
Speaker 4: bad driving, Stephen, what are you sad for?
Speaker 2: Sorry for? I'm sorry for us making all those people
Speaker 2: uncomfortable in the crosswater? Okay, man, me too. Apology accepted.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to Do you need a ride? D
Speaker 2: y n ar? I leave you wanna way back?
Speaker 3: Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you give us time and turning on engage.
Speaker 2: We want to send you up inside. We want to
Speaker 2: welcome you back home.
Speaker 4: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne? Do you need
Speaker 2: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 2: to ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris