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Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet. I'll go by the name of

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Speaker 1: Charlamagne to God.

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Speaker 2: And guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at

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Speaker 2: the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're

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Speaker 2: coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at

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Speaker 2: Poeman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,

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Speaker 2: B Money Podcast with taking Jay Valentine.

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Speaker 1: We got the Woman of All.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts with Saray Jake Roberts, we got Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: Carrie Champion will be there with her next sports podcast

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Speaker 2: and the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced.

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Speaker 2: And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the

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Speaker 2: Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses plus the food

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Speaker 2: in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot

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Speaker 2: Com Flash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 1: Ye say, don't want to ask you a question?

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Speaker 3: Real good, Let's just keep a real straight shot with

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Speaker 3: no chase. So I'm gonna get a little bit rough.

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Speaker 3: I'm here for it. Those who really believed in the

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Speaker 3: American process, all of us Street shot, no chase, set,

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Speaker 3: what's your girl? Testil figure out on the Black Effect

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Speaker 3: podcast networking. So what's type of everybody? Says testlim figure ol,

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Speaker 3: straight shot, no chaser on the Black Effect podcast network. iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 3: I am here with Marcellus, and I have opened up

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Speaker 3: the chat. I have opened up the chat because it

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Speaker 3: looks like we need to have a quick little chat.

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Speaker 3: But I want to get to the posts about marriage.

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Speaker 3: The other day when white women was telling y'all the

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Speaker 3: only reason why I posted because y'all love saying only

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Speaker 3: black women think like this. Only black people talk like this,

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Speaker 3: only black black black black black. And I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: let y'all know white women also across the board are

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Speaker 3: saying they would rather just be single. Across the board. Marcellus,

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Speaker 3: one of the Passport bros, came in and said, Uh, well,

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Speaker 3: they ain't talking like that overseas. Oh actually they are.

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Speaker 3: Actually we covered I think with Marcel's on Front page

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Speaker 3: News or one of the stories we pulled about China

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Speaker 3: having record low they are forcing but have babies now

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Speaker 3: because the women are single and saying, get somebody else

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Speaker 3: to do it. So I want to put this out

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Speaker 3: here that a guy just got upset and told me

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Speaker 3: just be a lesbian if I hate men and all

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Speaker 3: of that. And I didn't know what is all this

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Speaker 3: coming from. So let me just be clear what you guys.

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Speaker 3: I am pro marriage. I did not have a child

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Speaker 3: at a wedlock. I got married. I had my child

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Speaker 3: seven years while we were married, before I had Jada.

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Speaker 3: I am very I am my ex husband's biggest fan.

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Speaker 3: You guys have seen me go live many times with

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Speaker 3: him in the background. Marcella's You've been around to see it.

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Speaker 3: I speak nothing but high things of him. My mother

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Speaker 3: was a married woman who had me in wedlock, not

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Speaker 3: no shotgun either had me several years after she was married.

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Speaker 3: My grandparents, maternal and paternal on both sides, were married

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Speaker 3: for over forty years and had all of their children

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Speaker 3: in wedlock with their husband. And so ain't nothing. Ain't

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Speaker 3: nobody mad over here about nothing, you know. So let's

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Speaker 3: be clear about that. Every black woman that has a

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Speaker 3: different opinion on marriage is not always coming from a

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Speaker 3: place that you need healing and you upset. And that's

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Speaker 3: all I've ever seen in my family. Marcella's Okay, my

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Speaker 3: two closest friends are married women, and I was married

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Speaker 3: fifteen years. I don't want to be married again, but

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Speaker 3: I was married fifteen years. So I need y'all to

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Speaker 3: know that not everybody is coming from a place of

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Speaker 3: anger and heard and all of that because somebody is

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Speaker 3: deciding to be single. There are many, many reasons why

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Speaker 3: people are deciding to be single or have companionship without

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Speaker 3: being legally married. Right, Okay, And we're going to get

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Speaker 3: into that, and we're gonna do some shows about that.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna do some live debates about that as well

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Speaker 3: on Revolt. But we have to take this everybody mad

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Speaker 3: Black women gonna die loan and all that. We got

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Speaker 3: to take that out. I know the podcast bros Ran

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Speaker 3: with that for a minute, but I'm just simply giving

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Speaker 3: you the data that the reality is is women are

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Speaker 3: more than likely gonna die alone anyway, because y'all die first.

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Speaker 3: So my grandmother was married for fifty years, she's ninety three,

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Speaker 3: her husband passed away in his seventies, and she's been

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Speaker 3: alone for fifteen years. So we're going to literally die

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Speaker 3: alone anyway. Yeah, if we're literally talking about like if

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Speaker 3: you're gonna die being married with your partner. That's just

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Speaker 3: a fact. So podcast Bros, I think y'all should come

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Speaker 3: up with something else that lands better, Like maybe you're

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Speaker 3: gonna live life the majority of your life alone or

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Speaker 3: you're gonna be miserable, Like, find something else besides just

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Speaker 3: die alone. Because the data, just based on the data,

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Speaker 3: shows that we outlive you. So if you're only marrying

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Speaker 3: because you want somebody to help you wipe your ass,

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Speaker 3: and you're thinking that's gonna be your husband, it just

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Speaker 3: doesn't land that way for women. But women are more

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Speaker 3: likely to be their husband's caretaker. This is also based

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Speaker 3: on data. Because y'all die first and typically are in

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Speaker 3: worse health than us. This is based on data ourselves.

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Speaker 3: I'm just giving the data and y'all can do what

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Speaker 3: y'all want to do with it. But I also want

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Speaker 3: y'all to know that when y'all coming at women who

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Speaker 3: decide to be single and want to be single, and

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Speaker 3: y'all give all of y'all advice on marriage, I do

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Speaker 3: need y'all to know that we single women are unmarried women,

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Speaker 3: divorced women. We have all seen examples of marriage. Somebody

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Speaker 3: put a five in the chat We've all seen examples

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Speaker 3: of marriage, Marcellus, and based upon the examples that they saw,

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Speaker 3: whether that's been good, bad, or indifferent, they have decided

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Speaker 3: to say, get somebody else to do it.

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Speaker 1: To do it, yeah, get somebody.

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Speaker 3: Else to do it. And it don't. And that go

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Speaker 3: for men too. Y'all act like we ain't seen friends

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Speaker 3: be miserable as hell married. Y'all act like we ain't

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Speaker 3: been married ourselves. Y'all act like we ain't seen like

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Speaker 3: what it looked like. You know, somebody asked me the

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Speaker 3: other day, well, if your grandmother could marry him all

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Speaker 3: over again, would she absolutely absolutely? Let me tell you

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Speaker 3: about Thomas Taylor. I want to say even I want

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Speaker 3: to say, even a unicorn, if you will, God fearing

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Speaker 3: man never heard him say a cuss word. Led us

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Speaker 3: in prayer every Sunday before we walked at the church,

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Speaker 3: before we after we ate our eating an old meal

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Speaker 3: and our four ounces of juice. Because that's all you

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Speaker 3: got was four inns of juice. Was none of that.

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Speaker 3: Marcella's going back and forth and refrigerator all day, was

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Speaker 3: none of that. Myself, You're gonna drink four ounces of juice,

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Speaker 3: and that's that. After that, we held hands. We prayed.

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Speaker 3: That man drove us the church. Never saw my grandmother

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Speaker 3: open a door in her life, walked us in church.

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Speaker 3: He was the elder, he was the deacon, He was

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Speaker 3: over the ershebar was, was a mechanic, owned his own shop.

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Speaker 3: Some of y'all wouldn't know what the transmission looked like

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Speaker 3: if it be ass He was the man that had

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Speaker 3: a garden in the back of his shop. I've never

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Speaker 3: seen a better example outside of him and my grandfather

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Speaker 3: figure out of manhood. Never once heard him raise his

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Speaker 3: voice in the house period at my grandmother or the children.

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Speaker 3: Never once, never saw one gossiping on the phone. Never

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Speaker 3: saw him took a phone called Marcella's. Ever I've never

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Speaker 3: even saw my grandfather on the phone, like literally on

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Speaker 3: the phone, you know what I'm saying. Never he come in.

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Speaker 3: He drink his coffee from earlier that day because they

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Speaker 3: believe in conservatives. So when he would drink make his

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Speaker 3: coffee for the day Marcella's, he would put it in

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Speaker 3: the oven and come back at home and heat the

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Speaker 3: old coffee. That's how my grandfather got down. Was a hunter,

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Speaker 3: brought rabbit, brought home deer that he went and shot

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Speaker 3: and brought home. You know what I'm saying, nobody, there's

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Speaker 3: not a better example of manhood. That was the grandfather

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Speaker 3: that I knew that I was raised on. But the

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Speaker 3: man that my grandmother married before him and had her

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Speaker 3: children with, blacked her eyes, broke her arm, broke her nose,

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Speaker 3: took a gun and shot at her head, and if

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Speaker 3: my mother hadn't jumped on his back, she would be

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Speaker 3: dead today. Now that's not what I saw, but it's

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Speaker 3: what happened. And the only grandfather that I knew, there

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Speaker 3: was a knight that was to me the night and

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Speaker 3: Shinde and Arborn came and gave my grandmother, who is

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Speaker 3: literally Jesus' cousin, the one that's ninety three years old

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Speaker 3: right now, never a cuss word, never a harsh word,

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Speaker 3: never raising her voice, always spoken, always in skirts, church

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Speaker 3: secretary beautician, was almost murdered by her first husband, as feminine,

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Speaker 3: fit and submissive as you could get. And my real grandfather,

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Speaker 3: first black bricklayer. He was a millionaire in Oklahoma. And

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Speaker 3: the reason why my grandmother took her so long to

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Speaker 3: leave is because she did not want to break up

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Speaker 3: what y'all sitting for talking about the family, right, And

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Speaker 3: at that time, in the fifties, black people couldn't get houses,

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Speaker 3: much less a divorce black woman. And she got that

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Speaker 3: house on sixteenth Street, and guests who owned that house

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Speaker 3: today me, I bought it from a you know where,

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Speaker 3: I bought it from a guy's because now it is

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Speaker 3: a place where when women are going through abusive relationships,

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Speaker 3: it is a hideaway house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you said that a while ago. That's right.

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Speaker 3: So ain't nobody confused on what a good marriage can

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Speaker 3: be and what a bad marriage can be? And I

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Speaker 3: say that to say, Marcella's that a lot of people

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Speaker 3: that want to tell people to stay in bad marriages

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Speaker 3: are the same Christians that had my grandmother thinking that

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Speaker 3: she should just continue to have broken arms and broken legs, right,

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Speaker 3: that she should continue to just dodge bullets, literally dodge brothers, right, right.

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Speaker 1: They believe in that, they don't believe in a lot

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Speaker 1: of Christians don't believe in divorces and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: That's right. And a lot of these and a lot

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Speaker 3: of these podcast bros who ain't Christians are promoting this

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Speaker 3: because of their abusive, emotional, financial abusive ways that they

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Speaker 3: put on women. Yep, thank you, PhD twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 3: The one thing my mother and my grandmother told me,

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Speaker 3: always have a roof over your head. Have a roof

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Speaker 3: over Yet my grandmother brought that bought that house, guys,

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Speaker 3: for seventy five hundred dollars down she went, and she said,

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Speaker 3: I just needed a porch teslam where I could do

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Speaker 3: her and I got to record it, guys, and I'll

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Speaker 3: upload that to my podcast because I interviewed her and

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Speaker 3: I wanted to get the story. So I interviewed her

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Speaker 3: and I got the story. I need to upload that.

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Speaker 3: And my grandmother, you know, she said, I tell them

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Speaker 3: I just needed a porch so I could continue to

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Speaker 3: do hair. She did pressing curls two dollars three dollars

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Speaker 3: you know at the time. And she said, well, she

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Speaker 3: brought my mother and her brother in the house and

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Speaker 3: they said, Mom, I'm just so glad that I'm somewhere

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Speaker 3: you know that's safe now, she says. She broke down

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Speaker 3: crime Marcellez. She said, cause the whole time she was

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Speaker 3: staying in her marriage things, she was doing it for

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Speaker 3: the children and it was never for them. They never

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Speaker 3: wanted that. They never wanted to live like that. So

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Speaker 3: when I see these people that are pushing marriage instead

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Speaker 3: of the independent, are even asking why did you say that, sister?

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Speaker 3: To get some understanding, I wonder what kind of abusing

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Speaker 3: you are at home for you to automatically be in

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Speaker 3: the comments and be abusive to me to say, I

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Speaker 3: don't care what you do, just become becausin a lesbian.

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Speaker 3: I know how you're talking to that woman at home,

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Speaker 3: and I know how your daddy are your baby dad

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Speaker 3: or whatever, I know what you're seeing in your house,

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Speaker 3: because why would that be your initial response to me

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Speaker 3: when all I said is I'm just telling you what

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Speaker 3: the data says is right. So guys, be mindful of that,

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Speaker 3: and then we can get into the many, many things

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Speaker 3: that I want to roll out on this. We're gonna

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Speaker 3: do it on the Debate show Marcello's though. I want.

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Speaker 3: I want y'all to know why women are saying get

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Speaker 3: somebody else to do it. There's a whole another And

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Speaker 3: it ain't because oh we just want men. They got

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Speaker 3: degrees too, No, because even when we don't date men

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Speaker 3: with degrees, y'all find ways to resent. Y'all find ways

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Speaker 3: to be jealous, You find ways to be envious, you

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Speaker 3: find ways to put a woman down. There was a

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Speaker 3: guy on the dating app the other day. I'll send

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Speaker 3: it to you, the screenshaw will send to me Marcello's

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Speaker 3: and he talks about all the things he's looking for,

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Speaker 3: and at the end he say, don't tell me about

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Speaker 3: your degrees. That what is that gonna do for me?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: Who put that on a date? Now? You you that

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Speaker 3: mad about a degree? I said, this is deep, marcellis,

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Speaker 3: and we gotta really get into it. And another thing

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Speaker 3: for y'all, I married a mechanic who didn't have no degree.

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Speaker 3: So all this, whatever y'all think I am, I'm not

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Speaker 3: what you think I am. But I absolutely understand why

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Speaker 3: women choose men with share values. And if education is

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Speaker 3: a priority on that woman's list, Marcellus, it's not that

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Speaker 3: somebody that don't have a degree don't think that is,

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Speaker 3: you know, important. But if that's a priority for her,

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Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with her wanting to have that in

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Speaker 3: common with a man. Why are y'all so mad about that?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 3: It's truly on some you feel rejected or something. When

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Speaker 3: I'm not trying to choose you and you ain't trying

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Speaker 3: to choose me. I'm just telling you what the data say. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so guys, you know, I do want to talk about

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Speaker 3: that more. I want to talk about this myth that

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Speaker 3: you know again women don't date outside of they circle.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk to you about why women are saying,

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Speaker 3: you know what, just get somebody else to do it,

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Speaker 3: and men are saying get somebody else to do it.

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Speaker 3: Like there's plenty of men that's saying I don't want

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Speaker 3: to be married. For me, it doesn't make any sense

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Speaker 3: because I've already been married. Twenty five people that were

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Speaker 3: at my wedding have passed away. You know my daughter

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Speaker 3: is you may be eighteen. You know she's going to college.

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Speaker 3: I love companionship. I'm all about a promised ceremony. We

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Speaker 3: can stand up and promise really really hard marsellas.

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Speaker 1: We really can't.

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Speaker 3: We really can't. We can get a ring, we can

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Speaker 3: do all that, but can bind in my paperwork. In

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Speaker 3: the era of these men that's looking for alimony, girl

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Speaker 3: gets somebody else. I ain't gonna be able to do

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Speaker 3: with marselves because when I got married, I knew why

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Speaker 3: he married me. I didn't you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 3: but just a woman with a good job and young

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Speaker 3: and no kids, and you know, came out the military

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Speaker 3: and I worked at gut Code. Now I don't know

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Speaker 3: what these ig baddies want. I don't know. If you

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Speaker 3: want money, I don't know. If you want access, cookie,

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Speaker 3: I will killer Mike Charlomagne like for I don't know

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Speaker 3: what that is because I've always had long term relationships.

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Speaker 3: I've had three from twenty one to my big age

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Speaker 3: now in my forties, So I don't know what it

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Speaker 3: is to like date and be out. You know what

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Speaker 3: I'm saying, y'all. So I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what y'all are because these these honey, these these new

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Speaker 3: ig these modern men, y'all looking for alimony checks, y'all

285
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Speaker 3: look for it ain't just about just want just no

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Speaker 3: tax money. Marcello's. They trying to lock down and whatever

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Speaker 3: they think I have, whatever they think, you know, perceive

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Speaker 3: what I have. I don't know what they own, Marcellas,

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Speaker 3: So I what since would it be for me to

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Speaker 3: combine assets at this stage of the game.

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Speaker 1: You know what's funny, I'm about to get everybody in

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Speaker 1: my business.

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Speaker 3: So when you say they want a five to show y'all,

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Speaker 3: y'all want Marcella's business.

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Speaker 1: If it's really gonna be my mom. But I don't

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Speaker 1: care sister business.

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Speaker 3: Y'all know Marcella. If y'all listen to podcast, I want

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Speaker 3: y'all notice Marcella is real good about telling his mama business,

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Speaker 3: his business, his brother bi. But we don't never hear

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Speaker 3: about myself business.

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Speaker 1: But go ahead.

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Speaker 5: Now, like to this day, me, me and my mom,

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Speaker 5: and we used to be really really like really really close,

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Speaker 5: right and well now we ain't talking, and I just

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Speaker 5: I just remember my mom being like real strong. She

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Speaker 5: never let a man walk all over her. I don't

307
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Speaker 5: know what it is, but now shaw got older, Now

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Speaker 5: a man can do whatever.

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Speaker 1: She's married.

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Speaker 3: Now, Oh we get tired. I tell you that we're

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Speaker 3: just tired. But why called?

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Speaker 1: This is the thing.

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Speaker 5: Why you called me and tell me everything he doing

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Speaker 5: and he cheating all this? Then I said, okay, well

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Speaker 5: then then you're gonna leave or what? Well I can't

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Speaker 5: leave because I can't be paying these bills by myself.

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Speaker 3: Well that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 3: Women don't leave. And she's calling just to bench. She

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Speaker 3: don't need you to tell her no solution. And I

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Speaker 3: know men, y'all love solutions, and some women are like

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Speaker 3: that too, like we all, well, well you just needed

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Speaker 3: this to that. She just want a bench, just want

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Speaker 3: you to be quiet, saying I understand, I got it.

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Speaker 3: Nobody needs the HR suggestion boxes closed. Somebody is trying

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Speaker 3: to tell you something. They just want to tell you.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, And that is a reason

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Speaker 3: why women stay financially. That's what she's saying. I can't

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Speaker 3: leave because I don't want to pay the bill. She's

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Speaker 3: flat out telling.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, you do realize you have three sons

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Speaker 1: and we all got to move in the same house.

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Speaker 1: Then we'll make it happen.

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Speaker 3: You already said you didn't want no roommate, So what you.

335
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 1: Now?

336
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 3: Did y'all hear that? Y'all? Did y'all hear that?

337
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 1: Now?

338
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 3: Now, now we're about to because the family is listening,

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00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 3: and I know what regular is in it now. Cliff

340
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 3: is in here. Now, Cliff, maybe we need to send

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00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 3: cliffs on cliffs on because did Carcellis say and we're

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00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 3: recording the podcast, by the way, so this is all

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00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:29,400
Speaker 3: going on the podcast. But didn't Marcella Sayliff they said

344
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 3: they heard it. Chocolate, who heard Marcella say he didn't

345
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 3: want no roommate? Because I know I heard it, and

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Speaker 3: I know Cliff heard it. And now you say, well,

347
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 3: we all got to live together. How can we trust that,

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00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 3: Marcella when you already said when it comes to a roommate,

349
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Speaker 3: so apparently it ain't a lot of security when it

350
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:50,959
Speaker 3: comes to what we all can live together. Well, they

351
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 3: are PhD twenty two say she heard it officially a

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Speaker 3: bare and I know they ain't lining because I see

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00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,719
Speaker 3: them all the time. They heard it, Chocolate, Diamond heard it,

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00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,160
Speaker 3: a rich girl. Ran heard it real Jack, they heard

355
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 3: it because I know these are regular Peece. I love

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Speaker 3: my regular y'all, I really do.

357
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 1: That's different.

358
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,439
Speaker 3: That's not Now you're saying it's different. Okay, so now

359
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,640
Speaker 3: we got clip on it. Let's let's bring Cliff on it.

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00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 3: Y'all gotta start coming.

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Speaker 1: My mom and my brothers are not they're not roommates.

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Speaker 1: That's different.

363
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 3: Oh, it ain't different because you said you don't want

364
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:23,679
Speaker 3: to live nobody.

365
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Speaker 1: Period.

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Speaker 3: Remember you did your face, you talked the bathroom share

367
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 3: in the bathroom, So Cliff, what say you recover? Remind

368
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 3: me because I'm confused.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, because see let me let me from my

370
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 6: cant drive. But I still got there this camera on Marcellis. Look,

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Speaker 6: Marcellis was taking up back.

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Speaker 1: He was shocked in. Um, that's right, mate, that's the

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Speaker 1: way I recall it.

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Speaker 3: That's the way I recall it. That's that way I

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Speaker 3: recalled and was taken aback by. I like the way Cliff.

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Speaker 3: I like the way Cliff framed it. He was shot

377
00:20:55,840 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 3: a pall and taking a back. I would somebody sharing

378
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 3: the bathroom with him. And now this is how they

379
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 3: do it. If your own people do you like this,

380
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 3: then that? But well, you know you gonna stall on me.

381
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 3: I don't know if I trust that myselling. You switch

382
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 3: it up too much for me because I've been talking

383
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 3: about it, and everybody listen to this podcast. No, I've

384
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,959
Speaker 3: been talking about this for at least six weeks.

385
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Speaker 1: You out of the group chat. We ain't messing if

386
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: the family was in the group tech.

387
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Speaker 3: Because I've been talking about this on stretch Shot No

388
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Speaker 3: Chasing for damn near month.

389
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Speaker 1: You put me in the group chap, putting me to

390
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: sell it all lies.

391
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right, Virginia Designer said a month at least.

392
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 3: At best. Oh, that's at best. But the deal is,

393
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 3: though she made an interesting point, and you know, I'm

394
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 3: glad you shared it. She may, I don't want you

395
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 3: sharing it, but I am glad you shared it because

396
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 3: it really does hone into Yes, women stay for financial reasons, Cliff,

397
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 3: And that's what a lot of these men have problems

398
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 3: with women that make money, because if I make money,

399
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 3: that means I don't have to put up with your shit.

400
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 6: That's it, especially if you make more than me. You know,

401
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 6: men not even about to be with a woman who

402
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,120
Speaker 6: make more than them.

403
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 3: Absolutely, y'all heard Corey Halkom say it, and I appreciate

404
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 3: the honesty. I appreciate him saying I like this to women.

405
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 3: I like women that don't that don't that don't got it.

406
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 3: I'm yes, he said, oh yes, he's very proud of it.

407
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 3: He said, I like women that struggle because if you struggle,

408
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 3: you need me. But ever, he said, he ain't got

409
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 3: no business with nobody that got He's definitely say he

410
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 3: don't want nobody in radio. He don't. He don't. Oh yeah,

411
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 3: he's he's very proud about this. He said, he don't,

412
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 3: he don't need no woman that got anything, because then

413
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 3: what is he for? And a lot of men feel

414
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 3: that way. They're just not literally gonna say it, you

415
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 3: know verbato.

416
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Speaker 6: Yeah, you know what, that's a degree of that with

417
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 6: me with me too, But it's not a monetary thing

418
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Speaker 6: for me.

419
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: I just want to know that I offer you something.

420
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 1: I want to know.

421
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 6: I want to be very sure, very clear about my

422
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 6: role in your life. And it doesn't have to be

423
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not Uh, I don't mind nobody making

424
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 6: more money than me. You know that's I'm gonna hold

425
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 6: mine down anyway. That don't mean I can't pay for nothing, you.

426
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 3: Know, right both. Yeah, See, he's saying he's saying he

427
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 3: does not want a woman. He wants to flatter out

428
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 3: destitute women. You're not saying destitute, No, You're just saying

429
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 3: you don't mind if I may wane, but you know,

430
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 3: I'm gonna keep it real and I love the ladies

431
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 3: in the chat.

432
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: We need to.

433
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 3: If y'all want to join the conversation of Marcello's I

434
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 3: can't get out of my I G life, But put

435
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 3: the zoom chat in your bio all quickly, and if

436
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 3: y'all want to come join the chat. Y'all, come on

437
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 3: in and let's and go to Marcello's's. Uh. I'll tap

438
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 3: put a comment at the end so I can tag

439
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 3: you on the I G Live so they can know

440
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: to go to your if any women want to come in.

441
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 3: If not, no problem, I'll hold it down follow us.

442
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 3: You know, I'm just gonna be real with you, Cliff

443
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 3: from a woman's standpoint, y'all, y'all don't have no problem. No,

444
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 3: we're not on YouTube. We on zone. But this is

445
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 3: recording for the Straight Shot No Chase of podcast. You know,

446
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 3: they say they don't have no problem, but they really do. Cliff.

447
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 3: It comes up one way or the other. And I'm

448
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 3: just give an example, like the fact that I make

449
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 3: more and I want to be let's first kind of

450
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: frame what make more means? Because there's levels to making more.

451
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 3: I'm not talking about somebody make eighteen an hour and

452
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 3: she makes twenty five an hour. I'm not talking about

453
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 3: maybe even ten thousand more a year. When I'm saying

454
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 3: make more, I'm talking about a substantial amount more, a

455
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,360
Speaker 3: very obvious I'm putting the link at the bike, you guys,

456
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 3: if y'all want to come down, if y'all want to

457
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 3: get on the show, come on in a be a designer.

458
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 3: It's on Marcellus's bio and you can come in on

459
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 3: the zoone. By the way, this is recorded for the podcast,

460
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 3: so be aware of that that your business will be

461
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 3: on a podcast. When I say make more, I'm talking

462
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 3: about a substantial amount more that actually makes a difference

463
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: in our lifestyle. And a lot of men, even though

464
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: they say they don't mind, they mind, they feel away.

465
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: It eventually comes up. It can come through resentment. It

466
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 3: can come through, you know, trying to be competitive with me,

467
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 3: like if I get a trip, now you feel like

468
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 3: you got to get a trip. You feel like you

469
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 3: can't keep up. Even about saying no, baby, it's no problem,

470
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: it's no money's no problem, it's no this is no

471
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 3: that da da da, it still kind of becomes a problem.

472
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 3: His manhood somewhere down the line shows up somewhere for

473
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 3: most men, not everybody, but it shows up somewhere. And

474
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 3: what I have found in my data gathering is is

475
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 3: either a man way on one side that is flat

476
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 3: out using a woman, flat out sugar mama, opportunists, hustler

477
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 3: using me, or it's the goud way at the other

478
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: end of the spectrum, it's like, I just can't handle

479
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 3: not having complete control and I need to make substantially

480
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 3: more than her, and I need to make every decision.

481
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: You don't find a lot in the middle. You don't

482
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: find it.

483
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 6: So what's the reverse side of that, though? How do

484
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 6: women give us a real life diagnosis or analysis of

485
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 6: how women feel about being with men that when they're

486
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 6: the primary bread on is a woman who earn more

487
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 6: than men, like significant amount.

488
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 3: I have no problem with it. I'll give you my person.

489
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 3: I have no problem with it. The problem has been

490
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 3: for the men, even if you if you make more,

491
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 3: if you give, if you a's like for example. A

492
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: lot of women don't agree with this, But I'm just

493
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 3: gonna tell y'all like I will even if we're going

494
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,159
Speaker 3: if dinner's on me, because I y'all also know I

495
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 3: I deal with a certain type of guy that probably

496
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 3: what y'all would call toxic men masculinity, you know, very alpha,

497
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 3: very much kind of probably chauvinistic in a lot of ways.

498
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 3: I'm just being honest, and people don't believe that because

499
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 3: I'm so strong. They would think, why would you do

500
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 3: something you know, but that's just what it is. But

501
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 3: because of the type of guys I deal with, I'll

502
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 3: even if I'm paying for a meal before I go

503
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 3: into I'll give you the credit card so that you

504
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 3: can take it out. Because some men that even bothers them.

505
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 3: A lot of men to be like, that's crazy, that's insecurity.

506
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 3: Does she want to buy it? And let her buy it?

507
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: What's the big deal to that? But there's some men

508
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 3: that that actually bothers. I don't have a problem with that.

509
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 3: So it's a lot of women don't have a problem

510
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 3: with it. Clip the way they try to make it

511
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 3: seem like they do on social media, Oh I ain't

512
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 3: gonna do it. If he can't do this, don't this,

513
00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 3: and that they lying. Most women Black women are nurturers

514
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 3: by nature, most, not all, not the majority. When I

515
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:06,880
Speaker 3: say most, I'm just talking about, you know, a good

516
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 3: sum of women. We don't typically have a problem with

517
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 3: helping out. Now there's a big difference between everybody use somebody.

518
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 3: The question is misuse me though. That's where it becomes

519
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 3: to problem, you know, a problem entitlement, not grateful, don't

520
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 3: appreciate pimping. Basically that that's a big looking at me

521
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 3: as a cash cow is a big difference from me

522
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 3: helping you out every now and then. So I would

523
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 3: say most women don't have a problem with that, but

524
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 3: men do. They really really do, and I don't know

525
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: what to do to correct it. Like I said, it's

526
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 3: a insecurity. It's if it's where you are in life,

527
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 3: especially if you're talking met men in their forties. And

528
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 3: that's another thing. We got to talk about age too,

529
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: because that applies because in their forties are already just

530
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 3: like I'm in my forties. All of us in our

531
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 3: forties are those of us in our forty all of

532
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 3: us because y'all not, but all people in our forties

533
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 3: are all Okay, so you're in your forties, so people

534
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 3: in your forties early mid or even late. It may vary,

535
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: but for the most part, we're trying to figure out

536
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 3: we're not at the fourth quarter of life, but we're

537
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: at the third quarter of life. The reason why I

538
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 3: say not the fourth quarter because if you live to eighty,

539
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 3: you still have another forty years. That's why I walk

540
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 3: at the bright side that if you haven't accomplished everything

541
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 3: you want to accomplish, I don't care what it is

542
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: if it's go back to school, if it start a business,

543
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: if it's wrong for office, if it's we have whatever

544
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 3: it did, you still have forty years. Think about that,

545
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: from the moment you were born to being forty. That's

546
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 3: how if you live to eighty. If I lived as

547
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 3: August my grandmother at ninety three, I still have timeew

548
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,719
Speaker 3: of their forties, don't look at it that way because

549
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 3: of the societal norms. Are anybody going to join the conversation.

550
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 3: Go to Marcellus's bio. We'll add you to the zoom.

551
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 3: You can take your camera off if you want it.

552
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 3: We'll love to have this conversation because of what society

553
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 3: says all day old old auntie, Auntie, this, this that.

554
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 3: So a lot of people feel like they've ran out

555
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 3: of time. They feel that whatever they haven't accomplished by

556
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 3: this age, it's just not going to be accomplished. And

557
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: what I have found is depression and anxiety is a

558
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 3: bitch at this age and running into men platonic or romantic.

559
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: Really struggle with that clip, and it shows up. It

560
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 3: shows up and how they managed their relationships. It shows

561
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 3: up in a sex life, It shows up partnership and

562
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 3: it's a real thing, and especially if they're dealing with

563
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 3: a woman that they feel has already achieved what they believe,

564
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 3: you know, deem as success. It's a real issue.

565
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: What you're saying is so pervasive too.

566
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 6: I recall I don't know how old I was, but

567
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 6: I'm sure I was a pre teen or in my teens,

568
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 6: and I was at the fair and I remember seeing

569
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 6: this cup or maybe I was. We was riding a

570
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 6: bumper cars and it was two seated, you know, a

571
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 6: two sea the bumper car, and the dude had one

572
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 6: of the guys had his old lady. His old lady

573
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 6: was driving a bumper car and they saw one of

574
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 6: their homeboys. And it was a joke, but it was

575
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 6: he was also very SERI He was like, man, what

576
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 6: I told you ain't never supposed to let no no

577
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 6: woman drive you?

578
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 3: Boy?

579
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 6: How you got your woman in a driver seat? And

580
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 6: I just that that has stood out to me for

581
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 6: so long. It's, you know, especially as black men in

582
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 6: this country, we're taught, and honestly, I think a lot

583
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 6: of it has that I'm a look conscious, but I

584
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 6: think a lot of it has to do with slavery.

585
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,479
Speaker 6: I think that especially not having been in a position

586
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 6: to be able to.

587
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: Protect our women during that time.

588
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 6: I think that attitude has come down now that we're

589
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 6: in a little bit with freer freer right and we

590
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 6: have a little bit more control over our lives than

591
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 6: we did at the time, and so we have to

592
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 6: I think that the mindset is that we have to

593
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 6: re establish, reassert dominance and becoming.

594
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: And I don't think that there's anything wrong with what

595
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: you should.

596
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 6: I think a man should be a protect and should

597
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 6: be responsible for his family. But uh, but little things

598
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 6: like that, I feel like it's an overcompensation now. But

599
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 6: that's that stays with me to this day. That man

600
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 6: told him he's supposed to let no woman drive you.

601
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 3: Now, I'll give you. I'll give you. Can I give

602
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 3: you something? Though I hear exactly what you're saying in

603
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 3: the larger conversation and what it means. And it's also

604
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: because black men are not leading as men in America.

605
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 3: They're understill white man. So you gotta get me run something.

606
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 3: So they got to do it. But I will tell you,

607
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 3: as a strong woman, I'm not gonna lie to you

608
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 3: whatever it is. Sometimes I say I'm a strong black man,

609
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: non binary at best. But I actually like men driving

610
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 3: me and open because we don't get it all the time.

611
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest with you. I love when my

612
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 3: risk can be broke around a man. Oh my god,

613
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 3: I have a friend. He's platonic. We're not dating anything

614
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 3: like that, and I'm telling you it knocks my socks

615
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: off when we go to eat. When you say little

616
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: things like that, I just want to take you from

617
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: my perspective, like how that means so much to me.

618
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: When we go eat and it's time to get a

619
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 3: to gold box and he takes my box, he puts

620
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 3: my off food in the box. That sound real simple

621
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 3: to y'all because a lot of y'all sit back and

622
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,959
Speaker 3: just let the woman put up foot. And I'm telling you,

623
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 3: it blows my mind. So I do want to say

624
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: that because that dump has been established. I'm letting in

625
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 3: three people in right now, so we're about to get

626
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: it in. It's gonna be By the way, this is

627
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,719
Speaker 3: all recorded on straight shoting no chase. You can turn

628
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 3: your camera own her off. I will tell you guys though,

629
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: uh and I agree one hundred percent of what you're saying.

630
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 3: Of over compensation, I agree with that, Cliff. But I

631
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 3: just want to tell you women, especially those of us

632
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: that's bossing, I appreciate those things. Drive me, baby, let

633
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 3: me or.

634
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 6: Leave me in the restaurant, you like the what it got,

635
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 6: order your food like you if y'all discuss what you want.

636
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: And because that's me, I'm like, I'm like, oh, she's

637
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: gonna have this this, that's.

638
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 3: Yes, romance order me baby, yes. Even because the perception

639
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 3: is that I don't want those things.

640
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: The perception is.

641
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,479
Speaker 3: That women, strong black women, if you will, that we

642
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: don't appropreciate those things, and we do. All we're saying

643
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 3: is don't beat us down emotionally, beat us down. You

644
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 3: don't have to, but yes, we actually like, believe it

645
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 3: or not, we actually like being treated in the feminine

646
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 3: posture like a lady. Now, if you're saying, oh, she

647
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 3: don't know what she want, I get it da da

648
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 3: da dad? You know, do you saying, baby, what you

649
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 3: I want tonight? You want the salva da da da?

650
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 3: And then the way it comes over and you're like, okay,

651
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 3: she'll take a salmon da. Oh yes, kay, we'll say

652
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 3: you we got k on the line.

653
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 7: Hey, how y'all doing. I'm from I'm at Texas. Okay,

654
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 7: I ain't know where I want to come in on

655
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 7: the conversation it I ain't really HEARDing nothing that I wanted.

656
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 3: So you just jumped in and k just said, let

657
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: me ask you this. Do you like it when a man,

658
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 3: if he orders your food? Is that offensive to you?

659
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 8: Like?

660
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 3: Is it how it's done? Do you do you like

661
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 3: when men drive you around? Do you prefer to drive?

662
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: Like?

663
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 3: What's your thoughts on those little things that Clint was

664
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 3: saying that he thinks it's overcompensating, you know, because the

665
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: men are trying to assert themselves.

666
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 1: Do you like is all of it?

667
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 6: I just think that some some things can be overcompensated.

668
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 6: I think all of those things are fine. But just

669
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 6: cla Claire.

670
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 3: Fox, Okay, I my own food. I don't like order

671
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 3: your food if he asked you first. But I'm saying,

672
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 3: if you if we're sitting at the restaurant and you

673
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 3: look at the menu and the waiter hasn't came over yet,

674
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 3: and he said, well, what do you want? Okay, I

675
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 3: want gumbo da da da, And then the waiter comes

676
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 3: over and he can't order your food, then even if yeah,

677
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 3: if he wants to. That's not a big that's not

678
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 3: a like a big deal for real. Does it make

679
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: you feel special? Does it give you the phelliesn it

680
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: gives me the feelings, y'all. I love, I love, but

681
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 3: I like the dominance of it. I like take control.

682
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 3: But okay, then, bet it's not that you didn't.

683
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: You didn't you like the small things.

684
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: I love the small thing. That's my love language. So

685
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: my love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, those

686
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 3: small things. Because again, when we're talking about income and

687
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 3: all of that, because of typically the type of guys

688
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 3: I like, I probably do make more just because of

689
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 3: what I do for a living, you know what I mean.

690
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 3: I don't date the public speaker that can go get

691
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 3: fifteen thousand for thirty minutes speaking. I'm not saying I

692
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 3: always get those kind of rays too, but you know

693
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, I'm a different the type of guy

694
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 3: date the regular working guy, you know. So he has

695
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 3: to have somewhere, you know, in the mix. When you

696
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 3: were talking about like what you can bring to the relationship,

697
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 3: clip like, there has to be something you can give me,

698
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 3: because if monetary is your only way of thinking, you

699
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 3: can contribute to me, we're gonna make it because more

700
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 3: than likely you might can do some things for me,

701
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 3: but you probably can't overdo. I probably will have more,

702
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 3: and you know I would love to not have more.

703
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 3: I'm just keeping it real. You know what, when it

704
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 3: has been so there has to be something that you have.

705
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 3: But that's just naturally, like who I am. We have

706
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 3: some on the line. You want to chime in, I'm

707
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 3: you're just sitting there listening to got iPhone. I don't

708
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: know your name.

709
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 4: Design really long.

710
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 3: This is my real name is Sylvia. But first of all,

711
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 3: thank you for being in the comments here also the

712
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 3: Dame of jamal Brian podcast comments. I appreciate you being

713
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 3: one of my top supporters. Please make sure you connect

714
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,439
Speaker 3: with Marcella's. I love to sing you a coffee monk.

715
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: Thank you. I just want to say what you said

716
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 3: today on with with the Reverend to day. It was

717
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 3: the pastor, it was it was on point, and I

718
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 3: wish y'all would have went a little bit longer, but

719
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 3: I know an hour for some people stretching it. But anyway,

720
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 3: on this conversation, I actually dated a guy and I

721
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 3: didn't realize till we were like a year in that

722
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 3: he finally admitted to me that he had a problem.

723
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 3: And this is the crazy part. He said he had

724
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,439
Speaker 3: a problem because I made more money than him. And

725
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 3: I never even told him how much money I made.

726
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 3: He just assumed from my fly because I had a

727
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 3: master's degree, I had been on my job. You know

728
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. He just automatically assumed, you know, she

729
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 3: had a nice carhouse, blah blah, blah blah blah. And

730
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 3: I told him, I said, I don't. We ain't never

731
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 3: even talked about money. He knew, he definitely knew you

732
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 3: made more of him. I mean I say that now.

733
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 3: He knew that because he knew that if he could

734
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,240
Speaker 3: get whatever he saw you having, he knew he couldn't

735
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 3: get it. So moving how you operate him. So he

736
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 3: knew that he was right. You made more to him.

737
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: You know.

738
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 3: The question was why did he Why do you think

739
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,919
Speaker 3: it bothered him? And he finally told me like cause,

740
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 3: I mean like he.

741
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 9: But the thing about it was it didn't bother me

742
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 9: because that he made less money because he you know,

743
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,320
Speaker 9: he paid for us to go on trips.

744
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 3: You know, he always showed up, you know, when it

745
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 3: was my birthday, Mother's Day. If we went out on dates,

746
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 3: he paid, so I didn't. For me, I didn't think

747
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 3: about it, But for him he had in his mind

748
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 3: when we did finally talk about it, that he said

749
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 3: that most men who were with women who made more

750
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 3: money than them, the women controlled the relationship. So I said, well,

751
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 3: you get some issues with you need to go handle that.

752
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 3: Ain't got nothing to do with me. You know what

753
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 3: I'm saying, like, that's the personal It's a fact, though

754
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 3: I mean it is. I know we don't want to

755
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 3: really say it, but it is women like Marcella's example. Women,

756
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 3: Because see when they're talking about control the relationship, let's

757
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 3: just lay this out. I want to make it real plain.

758
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 3: They talking about who can leave and who gotta stay? Yes, okay,

759
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,879
Speaker 3: they talking about, you know, if we decide this dad,

760
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: where we gonna need to dinner and all that. No, No,

761
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: they're talking about who has to stay in the relationship

762
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 3: by obligation. Who's going to be more patient? More apt

763
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 3: to state that thing. If a woman is taking care

764
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 3: of a man, who is going to have the financial

765
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: resources to leave the relationship or do you stay and

766
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 3: put up with all the bullshit? Because you can't leave

767
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: big difference. But I would say when it does apply

768
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 3: to decision making, because there is space for that too.

769
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 3: I'm making more and we're saying, hey, we want to

770
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: purchase this house or go into this business venture and whatever,

771
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 3: and it's the majority of my money. You do have more,

772
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 3: more control, more safe. You do, just like you would

773
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 3: at any stockholder. If you put in if Marcelle's put

774
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 3: in twenty five dollars of stock at Walmart, you got

775
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 3: twenty five dollars of worth of opinion. In twenty five

776
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 3: hundred dollars of stop, I got twenty five hundred dollars

777
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 3: of opinion. It's always not monetary. It also can be

778
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: just so we're having a larger conversation. It also can

779
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:04,839
Speaker 3: be sweat equity into something. Y'all know Marcella's number one

780
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 3: push line pusher, Cliff, number one line pusher, Jay number

781
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 3: one line push it. But as Cliff asked, Jay asked Cliff,

782
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: if we had to break it all down on who

783
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 3: really the number one number one Cliff gonna say, I mean,

784
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 3: Marcella said, I know you lying because I was here before.

785
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 5: Jay.

786
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, and that is monetary Cliff

787
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 3: may have more to give me. He may have more money,

788
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 3: he may have more time, he may have that. But

789
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 3: even in an equity standpoint, Marcella's can still it is

790
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 3: not always your monetary And that's the problem own some here.

791
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 3: That's the problem. Men don't know how to if you

792
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 3: can't give me financial equity and you can give me

793
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 3: sweat equity. I said a word, I'm with you. Somebody

794
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 3: put a five in the chat, and men don't recognize

795
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 3: sweat equity. Let me explain to you what that means

796
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 3: for somebody like me, the money we got. That don't

797
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 3: be straight between me you. If you down, I'm up.

798
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 3: If I'm down you, we're gonna be straight. That ain't

799
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 3: the issue. You're gonna have to learn how to put

800
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,720
Speaker 3: some sweat equity in with me. And so sweat equal

801
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 3: with me is my love language, literally words of affirmation.

802
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 3: Are you picking me up? Do you make it easy

803
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 3: for me to go grind, go hustle? Do you make

804
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 3: it eat? And I'm using my example, I'm dealing with

805
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 3: trolls in real time. Y'all looking at trolls in real time?

806
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 3: Can you be that man to be like baby? You

807
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 3: did that? You did that on that interview that you

808
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: did that? Come on, drink love whatever can you? Can

809
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: you do that? Can you lift me up? I don't

810
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: care how many men tell me I looked good in

811
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 3: the comments? Did you definitely need you to say it,

812
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 3: or everybody else saying it, But this is what they

813
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 3: be doing, cliar, everybody else saying I don't need to

814
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,320
Speaker 3: say it. I need you need I don't need it.

815
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 3: But I'm telling these men an envious cliff a lot

816
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 3: of ways what everybody needs to do, what you need

817
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 3: because I need you to say. Well, I ain't gonna

818
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,919
Speaker 3: be saying I'm not one of your little fans. That's

819
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 3: what they say, not just one of my fans, but

820
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,839
Speaker 3: my biggest fan. So you a man. They can't do that.

821
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 3: You don't care. Sweat equity second thing, physical, touch, touch me,

822
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 3: love on me, every thing, quality time. We ask to

823
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 3: each other all the time. But when I do see

824
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 3: you make it quality. Are we beefing? Are we arguing?

825
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 3: Are we tripping?

826
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: Are you?

827
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 3: Are you trying to take me down a notch? These

828
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 3: men Clinton only they want to take me down a notche.

829
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 3: They won't take me down like four five notches. It's

830
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: a real thing, yes, my very and then after that

831
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 3: services couldn't bring me something like that. But that's my fourth.

832
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 3: The fifth one is gifts. I care less about gifts.

833
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 3: I care materiity. I mean that when I say I

834
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 3: go to Ross shin fashion them. I don't spend money

835
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 3: on shit. I trick on my baby. I spend money

836
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: on everybody else won't come to meun spending. So you

837
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 3: never impressed me with money. But because somebody think that,

838
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 3: because somebody has it, are successful, and you see me

839
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 3: having access to money or resources, you think that's what

840
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 3: I value. And that's not what I value. And so

841
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 3: if I tell a man that, if I show a

842
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 3: man that I'm literally showing you I'm a humanitarian, I'm

843
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 3: literally showing you I'm an activist. But because so many

844
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 3: activists are in it for money, because so many activists

845
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 3: have done it for the wrong reason, I can't even

846
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 3: use that as an excuse, you know what I'm saying,

847
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 3: because they say, well, what about the other activists on

848
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 3: the private plane, So I can't even use that. You know,

849
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 3: it's credibility to show that I'm not impressed by money.

850
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 3: So it's real hard cliff. So yeah, when he's saying

851
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 3: control of the relationship. He's right, you do have more

852
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 3: control when you have money, you do, but you know

853
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 3: what when And it's crazy because I grew up, you know,

854
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 3: with my mom and dad. I'm the youngest. I'm the

855
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 3: youngest of five. My dad was the man, you know

856
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 3: what I mean. He was military, he took care of everything. Well,

857
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 3: my dad said when my mom and dad didn't do

858
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 3: nothing to argue. But by the both of my parents

859
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 3: died before they were fifty and I was young. So

860
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 3: for me and my mind, I'm thinking grown going up. Well,

861
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 3: you know, I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna get

862
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 3: my degree. I'm gonna be married so I can help

863
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 3: my husband, so my husband is not in a financial burden.

864
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 3: That was my idea. I never I mean, I always

865
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 3: thought like, well, once I got my degree and I

866
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,879
Speaker 3: got my career, I always felt like, well, I ain't

867
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 3: gonna marry no white collar black man because it ain't

868
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 3: that many of them, you know what I mean. So

869
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 3: I always figured, well, I'm gonna be with a blue

870
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 3: collar man. And that's okay because like you said, we

871
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 3: putting all the money in one bucket, you know what

872
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 3: I mean. And I know how to take a cord

873
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: and make a dollar. We put it all together, but

874
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 3: it's like you feel in some type of way and

875
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 3: you in competition with me? How the hell you in

876
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 3: competition with me?

877
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: Moth?

878
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: You know when we're supposed to be doing this together.

879
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 3: So you know what the insecurity was? Just too much?

880
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 3: It's like, where where did that come from?

881
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 1: Now you're tapping into something. I'm gonna tell you where

882
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 1: it comes from.

883
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 6: Because we, especially as black men in this country, have

884
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 6: been condition to believe that we should be the one.

885
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: In charge, we should be dominant off.

886
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 6: I mean, we should be the ones in charge simply

887
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 6: because we have a penis and not thinking about what

888
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 6: does it like, what is it going to take, what

889
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 6: is it what's required of you to even make a

890
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 6: woman want to like submit, you know, to want to

891
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 6: be in that posture. So we think that, not not me,

892
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 6: but I just know the way we think. We think

893
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 6: simply because we have a penis, that we should be

894
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 6: the one making a rule. So then we end up

895
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 6: getting threatened with somebody who don't have when come and

896
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 6: you're making all the money, So then all openions is

897
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 6: getting a bunch. It's a big ego problem because of

898
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 6: the way we've been conditioned and trained to believe.

899
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 3: Now the voice of DFW, if you want to join

900
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 3: the show, Marcella's when you hate link in the bio.

901
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 3: Retype it that for me, please and put joint the show.

902
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: Click link in bio. Uh. He says here that control

903
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 3: is the divisive word more money or not. If you

904
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 3: look at it like that, it starts competition. Well, no, brother,

905
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 3: I'm not looking at it like anything. That's the word.

906
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 3: I mean, you know that, that's literally the word. I mean,

907
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 3: it's not we can say that. Don't say that it's

908
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 3: the vice. I mean, call it what you want to

909
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 3: call it. When when the brother told her that's the

910
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 3: person that has control, it means the person that is uh,

911
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 3: that has more leverage, that has more say, that has

912
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 3: more authority. You can call it h divisive or not,

913
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 3: but that's just what it is. When we're when we're

914
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 3: literally talking about uh, monetary, wearing the pants or whatever

915
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 3: words y'all need to hear to feel better, that's what

916
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 3: it is. And that's why it turns a lot of

917
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 3: men off because and we're talking about from the man's perspective,

918
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 3: it turns a lot of men off because they know

919
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 3: the woman has more control, more leverage, she has more access,

920
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 3: she can do more, and a lot of men don't

921
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 3: like that. And a lot of men and I've learned

922
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:58,360
Speaker 3: this too, they have had women and I'm so grateful

923
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 3: that I learned because I asked for my mail friend.

924
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 3: They have had women that have used it as control,

925
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 3: just like y'are saying women use it as control with

926
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 3: child support or women you I'm not gonna let you

927
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 3: see my kids, and you know all that kind of stuff.

928
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 3: There have been women who have made more who did

929
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 3: use it as a form of control. So then I

930
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 3: hear I come along that just happened to make more

931
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 3: and because his past experience, you know, showed him otherwise,

932
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: he's like, eh, I don't really know if I'm really

933
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 3: with that. So to the brother that said that's a

934
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 3: the devisive word, that's just the word. Like, that's just

935
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: what it is, you know what I mean, brother, That's

936
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 3: just what it is.

937
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 4: Mm hm.

938
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 6: That's gonna that that dynamic exists in every relationship. Someone's

939
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 6: always want to have a level of control control, Someone's

940
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 6: always going to have uh leverage, And it may be

941
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 6: in one other you know, you could be he could

942
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 6: be getting that. Okay, relationships, they need to be partnerships, sure,

943
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 6: but even in the partnerships, that's delegation.

944
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 1: That's gonna be something that you're gonna do that I

945
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 1: can't do.

946
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 6: And somebody's got to kind of make those shots to

947
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 6: decide what the team is gonna do collectively.

948
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,399
Speaker 1: So that's the person who's got a little bit more levered.

949
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: And I can put it up. I can flip it.

950
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 3: With women. Women control with sex, we don't. We absolutely

951
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 3: use sex as a mechanism of control. The women don't

952
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 3: want to say nothing.

953
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 4: But we do.

954
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 3: Okay, let me ask you this test. Do you think

955
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 3: what we're talking about? Do you think this happens more

956
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 3: with black men and women versus white men and women.

957
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 3: Because I work with the lady who is like way up,

958
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 3: I know she may more on her I don't even

959
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 3: think her husband work. But you know what she told me.

960
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 3: She said, even though I'm the bread winner, she said,

961
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: when I go home, i'm wife and my mother. I'm

962
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 3: not director Platz the director slash c f FO. You

963
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. She's like, when I home with

964
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 3: my husband, I'm the wife and I'm the mother. She

965
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 3: was like, all of this boss stuff that I do

966
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 3: at work, I leave it at work. So I love

967
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,320
Speaker 3: that question. So I love that question. A couple of

968
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 3: different things you want to unpack here. If y'all want

969
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 3: to join the show, click this is we're recording live

970
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 3: for straight shot and no Chase of podcast. Click the

971
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 3: link in Marcellus's bio. I love that. Let's unpack this

972
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 3: step by step. Number one, white men run the world.

973
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 3: Let's first get that straight. So even if the woman,

974
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 3: even if the woman is the boss at work, it

975
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 3: don't matter. He's the boss in society. So when they

976
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 3: don't have to compete with who runs shit. And when

977
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 3: I was saying, when it does make a difference when

978
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,839
Speaker 3: it comes to race and black men are already having

979
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,760
Speaker 3: to compete for their manhood in a white man's world,

980
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 3: and then he has to come home and still feel

981
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 3: like he has to compete for his manhood. Yeah, you're

982
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 3: gonna be a little bit more irritable, a little bit more.

983
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 3: I understand it when he's dealing in a different dynamic.

984
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 3: So a lot of times we can't when not compare.

985
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,879
Speaker 3: What we're doing is contrasting. Yes, contrasting the two. We're

986
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:05,280
Speaker 3: not comparing. We're contrasting. Number one, white men started patriarchy.

987
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 3: So let's get that straight. They run their period, they

988
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 3: run their women period, point end discussion. So she can

989
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 3: sit up and say at home, I ain't the boss.

990
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 3: I know you ain't because ain't no white man gonna

991
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 3: happen no other way. She ain't proven nothing to us

992
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 3: because white men said, uh, they are. They are the leaders, period.

993
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: This is why they vote the way they do. This

994
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 3: is why they're White women align themselves with them. When

995
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 3: y'all was saying white women voted against their interests, no, no, no,

996
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 3: they aligned themselves with the white men's interests. Because as

997
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,439
Speaker 3: long as they align themselves with white supremacy, they're gonna

998
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 3: be That's right. Their households are gonna be fine, their

999
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 3: kids are gonna be fine. That's why it drives me

1000
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 3: up the wall when y'all when I hear them say,

1001
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,359
Speaker 3: white women vote against y'all interests. Notis black women are

1002
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 3: the ones that are voting community, individual and community. White

1003
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 3: women are absolutely voting dead center with white supremacy as

1004
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 3: they should. Did you hear what I said?

1005
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 1: As they should?

1006
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 3: Why should they look out for me when they supposed

1007
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 3: to be looking out for them, pop asking them to

1008
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 3: look out for me, they looking after them, just cause

1009
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,359
Speaker 3: black women looking out for everybody and putting the plate

1010
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 3: to the side and the fall and all of that.

1011
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 3: They're looking out for them. So they're voting exactly, which

1012
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 3: is why when black men, when they were gonna give

1013
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 3: them the right to vote, white women said, what hold up,

1014
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 3: I know you lying. You ain't fasi to give him

1015
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 3: no right to vote over us because we are white first. Yeah,

1016
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,319
Speaker 3: oh number one. They created patriarchy, so white men are

1017
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 3: always in charge. It don't matter if she met the

1018
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 3: bread winner not the bread winner. He knows that his

1019
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 3: white maleness is always going to be in position over her.

1020
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:48,399
Speaker 3: So but I'm sorry, but I will say this. White

1021
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 3: men are absolutely chauvinisticks. They absolutely want women to stay

1022
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 3: in their place. They absolutely don't want don't women to

1023
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 3: get too ahead of their damn bridges, which is why

1024
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:02,240
Speaker 3: they did not vote phil Clinton as a female president.

1025
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 3: So no, it's not different between races. But I did

1026
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 3: wanted to bring out the contrast between the two that

1027
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 3: were dealing with different types of trauma. So that's why

1028
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 3: you it's louder with us, then it's not we white people. Well,

1029
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:17,919
Speaker 3: go ahead, do you think that's where we went wrong

1030
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 3: in as black men and women taking on the ideology

1031
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 3: of the white race. Well, the reason why, the reason

1032
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 3: why I tell you we didn't go wrong, it was

1033
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 3: put on to us. We didn't have a choice. So

1034
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 3: a lot of times when we had that conversation and

1035
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 3: we'd be like, was that what we went wrong? Went

1036
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 3: wrong by when when we was getting them lashes, when

1037
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 3: we were taking over from you know what I mean.

1038
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 3: Christianity was pushed on to us. Patriarchy was pushed on

1039
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 3: to us. It wasn't like we could raise our hands

1040
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 3: and say, hey, we ain't we don't want to take

1041
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 3: this on. It was put onto us. And so now

1042
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 3: what we're trying to do is trauma. Like it's not

1043
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 3: like we can't sit back and say, well, that's where

1044
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 3: y'all went wrong. What four hundred years ago, that they

1045
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 3: didn't have a choice. Yeah, But now that we're trying

1046
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 3: to undo the trauma, you know, it's like telling a

1047
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 3: child who was born where you went wrong by picking

1048
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:16,479
Speaker 3: your parents. I didn't have a choice in the matter.

1049
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 3: What we do now is try to understand the trauma

1050
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 3: and let me see this. Okay, we can't undo white patriarchy.

1051
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 3: We cannot undo white supremacy. We can't. It's here to stay.

1052
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 3: They're letting you know right now, you're gonna get your

1053
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,919
Speaker 3: uppity black ass back in place. Black people, y'all don't

1054
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: got way too many degrees, way too much money, way

1055
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 3: too much access to capital, way too much access to education.

1056
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 3: We are here as a white community collective and white

1057
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 3: adjacent We are here to put you back in your place.

1058
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 3: So it's not about us getting rid of that. What

1059
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 3: we're supposed to do now is understand what we're dealing

1060
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: with now, and how do we build community now moving

1061
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 3: forward and recognizing each other's trauma, And how do we

1062
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 3: work with that without you abusing me, without me being

1063
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 3: your crash dummy, without you taking taking me for granted,

1064
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 3: without you misusing me, use me, yes, but not misuse me.

1065
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 3: What boundaries do I set up? How do I do that?

1066
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 3: Or do we just keep sitting around talking about how

1067
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 3: we don't need each other, don't want each other, and

1068
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: we just gonna keep going overseas. That's that's where we

1069
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 3: at with it.

1070
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 6: In my opinion, Yeah, I'm absolutely right there with you.

1071
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 6: It's a lot of unlearning. We're starting to wake up,

1072
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 6: but then many of us are not. You know, it's

1073
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:40,799
Speaker 6: the same way we're culturally as a people.

1074
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: Prior to having been all of that.

1075
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 6: Let me start off by saying this, I don't think

1076
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 6: we really fully understand how we got to where we are.

1077
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,279
Speaker 6: We know slavery, but one of the things. So I

1078
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 6: practiced African spirituality right. I was born and raised in church,

1079
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 6: God in Christ. I'm a coach boy, the church boy.

1080
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 6: Ain't me, ain't gonna never go nowhere. But today I

1081
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 6: practice African spirituality. And it wasn't until I started to

1082
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:09,479
Speaker 6: really dissect and understand how this happened. So we came

1083
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 6: over here with our spiritual practices and because they knew,

1084
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 6: because the enemy knew.

1085
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 1: Just how powerful and how strong our spiritual practices were.

1086
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 1: What do they do?

1087
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 6: They demonize it and say it's a satanic is demonic,

1088
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,439
Speaker 6: is evil. And today we still believe that so much,

1089
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:26,320
Speaker 6: to the point when I tell people my spiritual practices,

1090
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 6: a lot of times people don't want to be bothered

1091
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 6: with me. They've done the same thing with our money.

1092
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 6: I mean, they've done the same thing with the idea

1093
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,800
Speaker 6: of money. They've made us love is so like you

1094
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:38,839
Speaker 6: see that stuff with with Soldier Boy, you know when

1095
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 6: they were talking about the you know, human coming, Well

1096
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 6: what you Collin.

1097
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 1: Ain't putting no money, no money in my pocket Trumpelman.

1098
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 6: They've made us idolize the things that they idolized. And

1099
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 6: it's a slow unraveling, but I think we're starting to,

1100
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 6: like say it says, come up out of a little bit,

1101
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 6: but it's just feels so much more. We got to

1102
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 6: do so to bring it back to the point of

1103
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 6: everything that we do, because it has been imposed on us,

1104
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 6: and we believe that we bought into the madness and

1105
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 6: we've aspoused it.

1106
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,760
Speaker 1: We are more like them sometimes than we even realized

1107
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 1: we are. We're more like them than we realize we are.

1108
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 6: We go for the ones who do I know, and

1109
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,919
Speaker 6: I know this from experience, a lot of people who

1110
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 6: even they want to return to Africa, they want to

1111
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 6: go to all these places, especially now that all this

1112
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 6: stuff is happening. They get over there and then we

1113
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 6: start telling them how everything about that coach is wrong.

1114
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 1: Now where we get that from? We learn that from them.

1115
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 3: We got the voice of ds W thank you for

1116
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:44,560
Speaker 3: joining us. He made a comment about control being a

1117
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 3: divisive words. So welcome to the show. Straight shot, no chaser.

1118
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 3: What's going on? Let us know your thoughts.

1119
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 7: Y'all think that there's a way for us to build

1120
00:57:54,200 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 7: men and woman black man and women without marriage. I mean,

1121
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 7: I so, and I know the church don't like this,

1122
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 7: you know, like when I started off saying this for

1123
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 7: me because of I'm just giving my personal opinion. I

1124
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 7: was already married fifteen years, you know, so my personal opinion,

1125
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 7: I've already had my child. I waited seven years in

1126
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 7: our marriage before I had her. She turns eighteen in June.

1127
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 7: She's going off to college. Everybody that was at my wedding,

1128
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 7: included my parents, have passed on the need for I

1129
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 7: love companionship. I've had three relationships all of my adult life,

1130
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 7: so I stay in relationship very long ten years plus.

1131
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 7: I believe I grew up like I said, parents always

1132
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 7: always knew my mother to be married, both maternal and paternal.

1133
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 7: I believe in marriage, but for me personally, on what

1134
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 7: I look at now, in the position I'm in now

1135
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 7: and how marriage is being looked at old raw me

1136
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 7: and my big age, it wouldn't make any sense for

1137
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 7: me to combine assets because unfortunately, the way people are

1138
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 7: looking at marriage now, it's contractual, you know, contractual money,

1139
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 7: this and that. And because of the position that I'm in,

1140
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 7: which is nothing, I'm a nobody to me, but how

1141
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 7: I may be perceived to some men on what they

1142
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 7: think I may have, what they think I may have

1143
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 7: access to with they whatever meant. My female peers are

1144
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 7: all concerned about paying alimony like me, and are like

1145
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 7: men that have access to capitol and access ref they

1146
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 7: concerned about paying alimon. So for me, combining assets at

1147
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 7: this stage of the game, for me doesn't make sense.

1148
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 7: But companionship, yes, but that doesn't mean we can't do

1149
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 7: something together. That we couldn't start something together, a business

1150
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 7: venture or something like that. But actually combining assets that

1151
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 7: if we divorce, we have to split up.

1152
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 3: You know, I got a friend that's been married thirty

1153
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 3: years and he deserved everything go because they were married

1154
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 3: thirty years. But she's an alimony so at her age

1155
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 3: now at fifty two fifty three, combining her you know,

1156
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 3: assets just doesn't make since she doesn't want to be

1157
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 3: married again. So I think it depends on the woman

1158
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 3: in there and you know their outlook. But the voice

1159
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 3: of DFW got his face all turned up. So let's see,

1160
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 3: uh wood, would he on what type time you own?

1161
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 3: Because I'm on, what f type time you own?

1162
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 4: You gotta forgive me. I thought that was a smile work.

1163
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 3: Looking like whatever it was, it was, it was given whatever,

1164
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 3: But okay.

1165
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 4: I would just face. Oh well, I definitely appreciate it.

1166
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 3: But by the way, I bought my first house in Frisco,

1167
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 3: Texas one one four ten Promenade Road. My second house

1168
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 3: fifty three Blazing Star Road. So both my houses I

1169
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 3: bought them Texas shout out to Dallas, I.

1170
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 4: Think, both in Frisco.

1171
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 3: Both in Frisco.

1172
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 10: Oh man, Okay, well, look, I stay away from the

1173
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 10: far north. I try to be around the people that

1174
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 10: that that won't want me around that, you know. Not

1175
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 10: not a knock to anybody else, but uh.

1176
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 3: I to nobody. Yeah, not built what the property tax was.

1177
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 3: But I will find people. Cliff, you can find me.

1178
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 3: This is back in the day though I lived in

1179
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 3: Dallas and the early two thousands, so will find me.

1180
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 3: Was in old Cliff where you me is you might

1181
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 3: be my hood. Yeah, I was around when they recorded

1182
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 3: that song by the way with't you no yeah already yeah, already?

1183
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 3: I know you Dallas When you say already, so club,

1184
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 3: I'm an original Cliff Club alumnus.

1185
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 4: Uh club you got around?

1186
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, Coach's Corner. Met my husband at Dallas a Dreams

1187
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 3: on Wednesday, ladies night. Ye know, talking about you sin

1188
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 3: to be around. I am the whisper. Don't get it

1189
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 3: twisted and get you. We want to run the hood down.

1190
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 3: We run that down. The other thirty my husband from

1191
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 3: the thirties on over there on Ferguson. Yeah, let's we

1192
01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 3: can run it down. So yeah, but I else where

1193
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 3: I got good property value. You better believe it.

1194
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 10: No, I got you, you know. So getting back to

1195
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 10: the point that I was talking about about, you know,

1196
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:12,040
Speaker 10: whoever makes more money and all of that. I'm currently

1197
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 10: in a position where my wife she makes more than

1198
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 10: I do, right, But I think it just it takes

1199
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 10: a certain individual, you know, as a man, to be

1200
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 10: okay with that. Because I think the brother said it earlier.

1201
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 10: Society teaches toxicity when it comes to men, and it's

1202
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 10: continued to be pushed out here and there are not

1203
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 10: enough examples of what authentic man manhood should look like.

1204
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:47,520
Speaker 10: And so there are a lot of men out there,

1205
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,959
Speaker 10: you know, look for the right answers, they just don't

1206
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 10: know where to go find them. And so, you know,

1207
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 10: I don't necessarily, I don't really speak too much into

1208
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:02,520
Speaker 10: you know, into the the root cause and stuff like that,

1209
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:06,000
Speaker 10: because I like to whenever I see issues, I like

1210
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 10: to think about what the root cause is. But a

1211
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 10: lot of people don't like to talk about what causes it.

1212
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 10: They only want to talk about the effects. So going

1213
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 10: back to it, and so the reason why I say,

1214
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 10: you got to be careful, you know, in my opinion,

1215
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 10: and of course this is my opinion. Everyone has their

1216
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 10: own experiences, but you got to be careful when it

1217
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 10: comes to assigning. And I wasn't speaking directly to you,

1218
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 10: but the word control was used. And so the way

1219
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 10: that I look at it, when you use control, you

1220
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 10: have to understand that that is that's a that's almost

1221
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 10: like a combative statement, right, because when you when you

1222
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 10: look at control, that's competition, and competition and relationships is

1223
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 10: one of the driving factors that puts us, you know,

1224
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 10: against each other and you know, makes us go on

1225
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 10: our separate ways. And so when I said, you know,

1226
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 10: I try not to use control because that's the visible

1227
01:03:54,920 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 10: that sometimes yes, because when you address issues of money

1228
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 10: by who makes the most, as opposed to addressing it

1229
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:11,600
Speaker 10: by the collaborative element of desires, then it's always going

1230
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 10: to be unbalanced. And the key with marriage is to

1231
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 10: try to find bal.

1232
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 3: And I think and I think, and this is what's important.

1233
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 3: And while I was talking about this, and thank you

1234
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 3: so much for your comment, while I was trying to

1235
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 3: bring this well well, I pointed out in the beginning,

1236
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 3: we're all big age people, you know, so uhuh real

1237
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:35,440
Speaker 3: big age. Yeah, real big age. So when we're talking

1238
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 3: about marriage, I want people to take into perspective that

1239
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 3: we're also talking about what we've experienced, most of us.

1240
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 3: We're not looking as twenty year olds on this is

1241
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 3: what you should look for a marriage, and this is

1242
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 3: how it should be, and you should because I think

1243
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 3: that is a different conversation. So when I was saying,

1244
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 3: when I was referencing the control and the relationship and

1245
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 3: how a woman use it as control, I was you,

1246
01:04:56,600 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 3: I was referring to my friend, and also she was

1247
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 3: talking about her, you know position. I was talking about

1248
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 3: my friend, and I think he's in the comments. I

1249
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 3: won't give his name, but he's forty five years old

1250
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 3: and he was married, you know, for a long time,

1251
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 3: and his wife did use it as control. She did

1252
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 3: so to me changing up the word and framing it.

1253
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 3: So there's always two things. And with these podcast conversations

1254
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 3: like where you're talking about the larger the contexts, the this,

1255
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 3: and then there's the I'm telling you know, the experience,

1256
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 3: and then there's barbershop talk, which is what I hate.

1257
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,480
Speaker 3: That's where people just throwing anything out, saying anything, but

1258
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 3: I'm not necessarily talking about. Okay, using the word is

1259
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 3: going to change because using that word's not going to

1260
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,880
Speaker 3: change his experience. His experience is at his big age

1261
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 3: that a woman use it as control, the experience that

1262
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 3: my grandmother had of not wanting to leave, or Marcellus

1263
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 3: that his example that he gave with his mom, I

1264
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 3: would leave, but I can't because he controls the money

1265
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 3: and I'm not making the money. So us framing it

1266
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 3: differently and saying a gentler software word doesn't change the

1267
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,600
Speaker 3: fact of the matter is that the person with the

1268
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 3: major who made the income used it as a control,

1269
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 3: like Isa was saying that the women they didn't want

1270
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 3: to get into that, but I'm gonna get I'm gonna

1271
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 3: be balanced here. Women can use sex as control even

1272
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 3: if she's withdrawing from her husband. And we can use

1273
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:24,240
Speaker 3: a friendly word or have it y'all want, I ain't

1274
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 3: in the mood, or I'm mad at here, whatever you

1275
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 3: want you but it is still a form of control, manipulation.

1276
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 3: I don't even think manipulation is always a bad word,

1277
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 3: because manipulation means like, if I'm turning this falset and

1278
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 3: I wanted to be just a little warm and turned

1279
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:37,919
Speaker 3: a little bit to the right, a little bit to left,

1280
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 3: I'm manipulated to do what I wanted to do. So

1281
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,160
Speaker 3: I hear what you're saying, brother, and I hear what

1282
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 3: you're saying, but I think that's a you know, if

1283
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,280
Speaker 3: we're gonna pick words, let's pick good words. What I'm

1284
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 3: saying is the reality of it is may not in

1285
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,560
Speaker 3: your case, but the reality it is a lot of

1286
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:59,360
Speaker 3: people's experience has been that money tends to give more leverage,

1287
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:04,200
Speaker 3: more athority, more safe, or control more whatever that it's

1288
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 3: typically been that way or men, So when it's flipped

1289
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:11,800
Speaker 3: or women, men still carry that over as she and

1290
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,160
Speaker 3: it may not even be control of the relationship. It's

1291
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 3: more so, if you really want to know the truth,

1292
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 3: control to lead the relationship. What women like me find

1293
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 3: is men ain't always triven about if I'm gonna control, like, oh,

1294
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 3: we're gonna get this or get that or no. His

1295
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 3: mindset is I don't have to tolerate because I have.

1296
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: I'm in control of myself. I mean control. If I

1297
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:37,439
Speaker 3: move out, I mean control. If I get a card,

1298
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,280
Speaker 3: I mean control. If I can get an apartment, I

1299
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 3: mean control, if I can get a lease in my name.

1300
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 3: That's a very real thing, brother, And I'm telling you

1301
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 3: that from a woman's standpoint, that tends to make substantially

1302
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 3: more than a man, because there's left again making more,

1303
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:58,280
Speaker 3: absolutely making more ten thy, fifteen, maybe even twenty or thirty.

1304
01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 3: If you take thirty thousand, divide that into twelve months,

1305
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 3: you're talking about a couple thousand more months, a couple

1306
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:08,240
Speaker 3: thousand more month, maybe something you can put away in

1307
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:11,880
Speaker 3: a savings or you know, maybe y'all can go from Dallas,

1308
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 3: y'all go to Miami for a weekend. That's not substantial difference,

1309
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:21,240
Speaker 3: but I'll say substantially more. I'm literally talking about maybe

1310
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 3: seventy eighty one hundred thousand more. That is a hey,

1311
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,439
Speaker 3: you know what, you can have all of this. I'm

1312
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:30,519
Speaker 3: getting ready to go move to you know such and

1313
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:32,400
Speaker 3: such tomorrow. You got it, And I don't need your

1314
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:34,639
Speaker 3: child support. I don't need you that I got it.

1315
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:40,400
Speaker 3: That is a different level of let's just take the work.

1316
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 3: Control that authority, influence power that a lot of men

1317
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 3: can't handle because society has taught that men control by

1318
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:54,800
Speaker 3: their pocketbook and women control by the p uss y.

1319
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:57,680
Speaker 3: I don't want to be offensive, but that is the typical,

1320
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 3: the typical, you know thing. I can control by my beauty,

1321
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,519
Speaker 3: I control by my sex, I control by my bit.

1322
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:06,080
Speaker 3: Men control by their money. So a lot of men,

1323
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:10,760
Speaker 3: that's all they've ever had, either their money, their pocketbook,

1324
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:16,360
Speaker 3: or their physical you know, their aggression, their power. So

1325
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:18,240
Speaker 3: if you don't have that as a man, a lot

1326
01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:20,439
Speaker 3: of men feel lost. I'm just telling you this truth.

1327
01:09:21,080 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean to your point. You know, Chris Rock

1328
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:23,439
Speaker 4: said it.

1329
01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 10: You know, men are you know, the only species around

1330
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 10: that are love based upon their value, right, Because it's like,

1331
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,880
Speaker 10: if you don't have any money and you don't have

1332
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:39,680
Speaker 10: any you know, attributes to get out and go do

1333
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 10: physical things. Then nobody's gonna love you. However, you can

1334
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 10: take a woman that doesn't have anything and still bring

1335
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:50,120
Speaker 10: her along, right, And so to your point, yeah, so

1336
01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:51,120
Speaker 10: to your point, you're.

1337
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:53,639
Speaker 3: Throw it off. Women like me throw off the bat,

1338
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,160
Speaker 3: We throw off the pH poalance, like we literally throw

1339
01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:58,600
Speaker 3: it up to some in their mind, it throws it

1340
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:00,640
Speaker 3: off because now you literally don't know what to do

1341
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 3: with me.

1342
01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:03,720
Speaker 10: So and at the end of the day, here's here's

1343
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:08,240
Speaker 10: the biggest issue. The biggest issue is that society has

1344
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:11,200
Speaker 10: put us against each other. And the fact of the

1345
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:16,360
Speaker 10: matter is we are all broken to some degree from

1346
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 10: something that has happened in the past, whether it's been

1347
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:22,559
Speaker 10: something that's happened directly to us or the ramification of

1348
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,920
Speaker 10: this slavery thing. Right, because at the end of the day,

1349
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:29,479
Speaker 10: we don't get a chance to heal. Every other every

1350
01:10:29,479 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 10: other culture out there gets an opportunity to heal with us.

1351
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:33,720
Speaker 10: We have to take on the brunt of all of

1352
01:10:33,720 --> 01:10:36,120
Speaker 10: the pain, all of the issues, all of the the

1353
01:10:37,479 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 10: you know, the the baggage, and then we still have

1354
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:43,360
Speaker 10: to move forward. And so, at the end of the day,

1355
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:48,160
Speaker 10: that comes through society, as you know, it comes through

1356
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:50,920
Speaker 10: the music, right. You know, there's nothing but pain in

1357
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 10: our music. There is no love anymore in our music

1358
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:57,120
Speaker 10: today is nothing. There's nothing happy about our music. Everything

1359
01:10:57,160 --> 01:11:00,000
Speaker 10: is about struggle, right, And so you got the three topics,

1360
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:06,160
Speaker 10: drug sets, you know, violence, and uh it's one one

1361
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:09,040
Speaker 10: more out there. But it's it's the reason why it

1362
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:12,000
Speaker 10: keeps yeah, money, right, it's the reason why it keeps

1363
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,400
Speaker 10: regurgitating out here because at the end of the day,

1364
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:16,960
Speaker 10: that's all that they want. They want us to stay

1365
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:19,839
Speaker 10: in that particular cycle, right, And so because of that cycle,

1366
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:23,439
Speaker 10: then we're trying to take that into these relationships when

1367
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:26,599
Speaker 10: we didn't have good figures you know from the get go, right,

1368
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:30,000
Speaker 10: even you know our grandparents everybody's talking about, Yeah, they

1369
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 10: stayed together. They weren't happy back then. I mean there

1370
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:35,680
Speaker 10: was a good possibility, you know, Granddaddy was he had

1371
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:38,040
Speaker 10: a family on the other side of town, you know,

1372
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 10: and Grandmama was just putting up with everything. She didn't

1373
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:43,759
Speaker 10: leave because you know, at that time, she wasn't working,

1374
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,280
Speaker 10: so she was not able to leave. So that power

1375
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:48,439
Speaker 10: that you were talking about, yeah, it was. It was

1376
01:11:48,479 --> 01:11:51,160
Speaker 10: different back then. But now that women have the opportunity

1377
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:55,519
Speaker 10: to change that narrative and you know, create some of

1378
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,559
Speaker 10: the power that they did not have back in the day.

1379
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:01,560
Speaker 10: We still were never able to come together to redefine

1380
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 10: what family looked like for black folks. It was just like, hey,

1381
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:08,000
Speaker 10: we knew what family was then. It wasn't you know,

1382
01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:08,840
Speaker 10: it wasn't.

1383
01:12:09,560 --> 01:12:10,920
Speaker 3: It was Some men just want to do what they

1384
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,200
Speaker 3: want to do. I mean. And that's why again I

1385
01:12:13,280 --> 01:12:16,680
Speaker 3: and I'm just gonna say this, I talk about open relationships.

1386
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 3: I talk about because some meners want to do what

1387
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,720
Speaker 3: they want to do. And and and the bottom line

1388
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:24,519
Speaker 3: is women because now they can financially. If it is

1389
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 3: a woman that believes in monogamy and she's in bottom line,

1390
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:31,080
Speaker 3: you cheating on her, she has the financial resources to lead.

1391
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:34,800
Speaker 3: That's the difference. And when you say defining family and

1392
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 3: what that means, I hear, I hear all of that.

1393
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:41,599
Speaker 3: I believe that my grand my grandparents actually were happy.

1394
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 3: But I understand what you're saying. For the most part.

1395
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:44,800
Speaker 3: You know, a lot of people are I got friends

1396
01:12:44,840 --> 01:12:47,200
Speaker 3: now that are not happy. But like somebody told me,

1397
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,240
Speaker 3: yes in the comments, marriage is not about being happy.

1398
01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:51,880
Speaker 3: And I get that for people too, but for me,

1399
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 3: that's why I don't want to be married again. So

1400
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:57,800
Speaker 3: for me, so companionship for me is happiness. It absolutely

1401
01:12:57,800 --> 01:13:01,840
Speaker 3: needs to be happiness. Happiness. So if that means that

1402
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:05,559
Speaker 3: doesn't come with marriage and being bonded and locked in,

1403
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:08,800
Speaker 3: and I don't, I don't feel free honestly in that way.

1404
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,160
Speaker 3: I like to know that you're here because you want

1405
01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:12,720
Speaker 3: to be here, and I'm gonna be here because I

1406
01:13:12,720 --> 01:13:14,799
Speaker 3: want to be here. And I don't want to second

1407
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:20,519
Speaker 3: guess your yeah, that's right, and your agenda because that's

1408
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 3: what I run into now. But also again, I will

1409
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 3: single in my twenties, totally different in viporty, totally different things.

1410
01:13:29,560 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 3: And so I just think it is what it is

1411
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:36,360
Speaker 3: and what I tell women and men because I hear

1412
01:13:36,400 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 3: you and all the things you're saying, and I hear men,

1413
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,360
Speaker 3: Oh no, I don't have no problem. But I can

1414
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:42,880
Speaker 3: just tell you most of my friends who do well

1415
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:45,200
Speaker 3: when they date men that say they don't have no problem,

1416
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 3: it usually kind of shows up one way or the other.

1417
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:51,800
Speaker 3: Even if it shows up silently, it definitely comes up.

1418
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 3: It's definitely an issue just because of the male female dynamic.

1419
01:13:56,360 --> 01:13:59,360
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's something will ever totally unlearn

1420
01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:00,639
Speaker 3: you know, all of us will unlearned.

1421
01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:05,360
Speaker 10: Just like I said, we weren't able to heal from

1422
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:07,799
Speaker 10: any of this past trauma. All of this is based

1423
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,200
Speaker 10: on trauma. At some point, there's trauma in it.

1424
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:12,719
Speaker 1: Us.

1425
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:18,080
Speaker 10: Living is just a traumatic existence. And the fact that

1426
01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:21,880
Speaker 10: we don't put enough emphasis on mental health. We don't

1427
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:25,240
Speaker 10: we don't heal from wounds that we have gathered. It's

1428
01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:28,720
Speaker 10: just like you said, experiences, right, we a lot of us.

1429
01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:31,240
Speaker 3: If I'm healed and you ain't healed, then now I'm

1430
01:14:31,240 --> 01:14:35,400
Speaker 3: in self preservation. So I can't becauseee even though a

1431
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,679
Speaker 3: man will come and say, oh yeah, I'm in heal,

1432
01:14:37,720 --> 01:14:39,080
Speaker 3: I mean I don't know that. I got to go

1433
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:43,800
Speaker 3: back with, you know, like preserve myself, you know, preserve like.

1434
01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:50,240
Speaker 10: Self preservation has been has been, you know, uh an

1435
01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:53,560
Speaker 10: element because people have been broken in the past and

1436
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,639
Speaker 10: they don't want to be broken anymore. And I completely

1437
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:58,280
Speaker 10: understand that. And that's fair. Don't get me wrong. I

1438
01:14:58,280 --> 01:15:00,679
Speaker 10: didn't say any of this was, you know, wrong or right.

1439
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 10: You know, I'm just stating, you know, this is where

1440
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,599
Speaker 10: we are, and the reason why we are where we

1441
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:07,240
Speaker 10: are is just because of the fact that we have

1442
01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:09,760
Speaker 10: not had the opportunity to heal because we have to

1443
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:12,720
Speaker 10: keep pushing forward. Nobody is able to just take the

1444
01:15:12,840 --> 01:15:15,599
Speaker 10: time because number one, we always have to make sure

1445
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:18,160
Speaker 10: that we have something, you know, putting the roof over

1446
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:21,480
Speaker 10: our heads, putting clothes in our backs. Right, So it's conflicting,

1447
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:25,599
Speaker 10: you're conflicting priorities. Do you heal or do you eat?

1448
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:28,639
Speaker 10: Because it's hard to do both, you know what I'm saying.

1449
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,920
Speaker 10: And that's what a lot of single Black women they

1450
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:32,840
Speaker 10: don't have time to heal because they got to go

1451
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:34,559
Speaker 10: get this money. They got to make sure that they're

1452
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:35,959
Speaker 10: taking care of their preservation.

1453
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,479
Speaker 3: Right. But my post the other day is all all

1454
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:41,840
Speaker 3: women across the board, not just Black women, when we

1455
01:15:41,880 --> 01:15:44,200
Speaker 3: do deal with a level of trauma, but all women

1456
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:47,160
Speaker 3: across the board are simply saying, get somebody else to

1457
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,479
Speaker 3: do it. The white women are saying it. They are

1458
01:15:49,479 --> 01:15:52,200
Speaker 3: spies women are saying it. The spatting women are saying it.

1459
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,439
Speaker 3: We do have our own trauma. But I'm just saying

1460
01:15:54,640 --> 01:15:58,759
Speaker 3: a lot the percentage of women wanting to be single

1461
01:15:59,040 --> 01:16:02,400
Speaker 3: and operated in the DECE is an all across the

1462
01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:05,680
Speaker 3: board thing, and that don't hene to do with itavory

1463
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:09,639
Speaker 3: none else. Women are bottom line saying, get somebody else

1464
01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:12,320
Speaker 3: to do it. They've seen the apples, they've seen the data.

1465
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,760
Speaker 3: They tried it themselves. They see their friends, and they

1466
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:18,479
Speaker 3: just operate. And the data shows, honestly, I'm just gonna

1467
01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:22,360
Speaker 3: be rial. The data shows that women health wise do

1468
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:25,040
Speaker 3: better single. Now, y'all can say you're gonna die along,

1469
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:27,200
Speaker 3: you're gonna die with the dogs, say it, don't too.

1470
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:29,920
Speaker 3: But men, if a woman is operating in her true

1471
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:34,120
Speaker 3: want wife, then she is a caretaker of sorts too

1472
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:37,280
Speaker 3: a man. You guys do better married. Typically you spend

1473
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:39,240
Speaker 3: less because you're not dating all the holes. That's the

1474
01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:41,720
Speaker 3: bottom line. You may spend on your wife, but you're

1475
01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:44,920
Speaker 3: not spending single. You tend to make better decisions. You're

1476
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:48,040
Speaker 3: not as risky with your money or how you move around.

1477
01:16:48,240 --> 01:16:50,000
Speaker 3: You tend to be a little bit more settled. These

1478
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 3: are this is the overall data. Your wife tends to

1479
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:53,880
Speaker 3: stay on you about your health more. Did you go

1480
01:16:53,880 --> 01:16:55,360
Speaker 3: to the doctor? Did you get this check in? If

1481
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:58,800
Speaker 3: she's a good wife, she's taking care of you more so. Men,

1482
01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:02,880
Speaker 3: based on the data, live longer than women when they

1483
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:07,240
Speaker 3: are married. That is a fact women women don't because

1484
01:17:07,240 --> 01:17:10,680
Speaker 3: when we give good women, we give you everything, we

1485
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:14,040
Speaker 3: put you first. That's according biblically to the word the

1486
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:17,680
Speaker 3: virtual woman is literally talking about putting her husband and

1487
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:21,200
Speaker 3: her children first, you don't be nothing in that passage

1488
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:25,680
Speaker 3: about her. So if you are operating in true biblical

1489
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:28,720
Speaker 3: principle of marriage, which is why kay I say get

1490
01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:30,880
Speaker 3: somebody else to do it at this age because I

1491
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:36,519
Speaker 3: operated in true biblical women wife operating mold. And if

1492
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:39,840
Speaker 3: you are doing that, then yes, you are absolutely putting

1493
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:44,720
Speaker 3: your husband first, and he is the primary beneficiary first.

1494
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:47,639
Speaker 3: And that's why a lot of women say, I don't.

1495
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:50,200
Speaker 3: I'm not attracted to that. That's not appealing, And we

1496
01:17:50,280 --> 01:17:52,000
Speaker 3: got to stop shaming that. If they don't, if they're

1497
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,680
Speaker 3: not attracted to it, they're just not attracted to it.

1498
01:17:54,240 --> 01:17:55,160
Speaker 4: Sure, fair enough.

1499
01:17:55,200 --> 01:17:57,680
Speaker 10: But now that's also why they say, you got to

1500
01:17:57,680 --> 01:18:00,639
Speaker 10: find somebody that's equally yoked, because the way it's supposed

1501
01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:02,960
Speaker 10: to work, when a man finds a woman that is

1502
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:07,600
Speaker 10: that is willing to submit, right, and you know, everybody

1503
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:10,920
Speaker 10: has a different definition of what that word submit means.

1504
01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:14,320
Speaker 10: But when a real man finds a woman that's willing

1505
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 10: to submit, that his job is supposed to be to

1506
01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:19,440
Speaker 10: step up and ensure that he's that protector.

1507
01:18:19,760 --> 01:18:19,840
Speaker 2: Right.

1508
01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:22,120
Speaker 3: Let me pause right there, brother, because I want you

1509
01:18:22,200 --> 01:18:24,920
Speaker 3: here exactly what I said a minute ago. O women,

1510
01:18:25,240 --> 01:18:28,160
Speaker 3: this ain't about so when I said some unless you're

1511
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:29,920
Speaker 3: some practice man, when I said some women are just

1512
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:32,000
Speaker 3: choosing to be single because they're just not attracted to that.

1513
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:34,519
Speaker 3: The answer for them is not, well, that's why you

1514
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,599
Speaker 3: just need to find a man that's equally yo No. No, no.

1515
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 3: They literally don't want to be a man's caretake, even

1516
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:41,720
Speaker 3: if he's equally yoak. There's a lot of women that

1517
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:46,120
Speaker 3: simply don't want that. And that's okay, hold on, let

1518
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:50,960
Speaker 3: me finish. If she is operating as a wife equally

1519
01:18:51,080 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 3: yoke or not, you being a protector or not, I

1520
01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:59,439
Speaker 3: am still a virtuous woman putting you first, whether you're

1521
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:02,559
Speaker 3: whether we're equally yoke or not, whether you're a protector

1522
01:19:02,680 --> 01:19:03,840
Speaker 3: or not, you could be the best man.

1523
01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:04,240
Speaker 1: Ever.

1524
01:19:04,479 --> 01:19:07,960
Speaker 3: There are still some women that are still choosing to

1525
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:12,120
Speaker 3: say I don't want that type of partnership. The answer

1526
01:19:12,240 --> 01:19:14,280
Speaker 3: is not, well, that's why you just need an equally

1527
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:16,360
Speaker 3: yok or that's why No, they're just sippy saying I

1528
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:19,679
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. They're selfish, and it's okay

1529
01:19:19,720 --> 01:19:21,000
Speaker 3: if they want to be self but it may not

1530
01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:23,720
Speaker 3: be how I'm built. But if they're saying I want

1531
01:19:23,720 --> 01:19:25,240
Speaker 3: to be said, I just want to take care of me.

1532
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:27,240
Speaker 3: I want to provide for me. I want to take

1533
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:28,880
Speaker 3: care of me. I want to do my own stuff.

1534
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,639
Speaker 3: I'm alright with Donald Long. I'm all right with making

1535
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 3: my money. I want to pour myself into my work.

1536
01:19:34,040 --> 01:19:37,080
Speaker 3: Perfect example, David Banner. Everybody got mad at him because

1537
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:38,680
Speaker 3: they were saying, well, he said, people got mad. I

1538
01:19:38,720 --> 01:19:40,519
Speaker 3: don't think people really got mad, but that's what he said.

1539
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,679
Speaker 3: They got mad at him because he decided to get

1540
01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:46,639
Speaker 3: married older. He said, everything I've heard a woman want

1541
01:19:46,720 --> 01:19:50,080
Speaker 3: from a man is time money. This that he said,

1542
01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:52,960
Speaker 3: I've been building my career. I didn't have time. Valid point.

1543
01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:56,800
Speaker 3: I've been building. I've been successful. I didn't want to

1544
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:59,320
Speaker 3: have babies all over the place, but now I'm ready.

1545
01:19:59,479 --> 01:20:02,080
Speaker 3: There are women that actually want to be in front

1546
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:04,519
Speaker 3: of their laptop all day, that actually want to put

1547
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:07,599
Speaker 3: themselves into their career, that actually just want degrees, who

1548
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:10,880
Speaker 3: get very rewarded that way, want companionship. They don't want

1549
01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:13,559
Speaker 3: a day to day interaction with a man, not because

1550
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:15,800
Speaker 3: they didn't find somebody equally, yoak. They just are not

1551
01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:18,640
Speaker 3: attracted to that. And they may have companionship and a

1552
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:22,599
Speaker 3: boyfriend or a different type of relationship. Women know how

1553
01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:25,200
Speaker 3: to have buckets of relationships just like y'all do. Just

1554
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:27,800
Speaker 3: like they. Y'all got female friends that y'all just talk

1555
01:20:27,920 --> 01:20:31,080
Speaker 3: to and a wife over here, or maybe men got

1556
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:34,240
Speaker 3: multiple women girlfriends, and one is like this, and one

1557
01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:36,920
Speaker 3: is like that. Women have found ways to be rewarded

1558
01:20:36,920 --> 01:20:44,040
Speaker 3: in ways that doesn't necessarily align with marriage. And that's okay.

1559
01:20:44,080 --> 01:20:45,920
Speaker 3: And the answers I know just don't get a better

1560
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:48,040
Speaker 3: man are equally yo. No, they just don't. They just

1561
01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:50,280
Speaker 3: are literally telling you get somebody else to do it.

1562
01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:54,720
Speaker 10: So fair enough, all right. My point was not that

1563
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:59,599
Speaker 10: anything was wrong with a woman that truly genuinely wants

1564
01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:04,880
Speaker 10: to be alone and with their self. That is an option.

1565
01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:09,160
Speaker 3: And again I clarify that it's not alone, just not married.

1566
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:14,280
Speaker 1: Okay, here is the reason we gotta get back to

1567
01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:15,800
Speaker 1: my mon I got one more question.

1568
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:18,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I want to be clear that this is

1569
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,920
Speaker 3: not about alone, this is about marriage. I think a

1570
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:25,680
Speaker 3: lot of people think that not being married somehow is

1571
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:32,639
Speaker 3: alone and it doesn't at all. Loneliness is totally different

1572
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:36,000
Speaker 3: than being married. I don't marry people who are alone,

1573
01:21:36,479 --> 01:21:40,720
Speaker 3: who feel alone, who experience loneliness. So I want to

1574
01:21:40,720 --> 01:21:42,600
Speaker 3: be clear when I say women who are decided not

1575
01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:45,080
Speaker 3: to be married, it doesn't mean they want to be alone.

1576
01:21:45,160 --> 01:21:47,920
Speaker 3: It means they just don't want married. But go ahead,

1577
01:21:47,960 --> 01:21:51,160
Speaker 3: Mary said, it's your question, and then I'm gonna wrap

1578
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,640
Speaker 3: this up because I've been taking y'all way too long.

1579
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:53,719
Speaker 3: It's supposed to be thirty minutes.

1580
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:58,320
Speaker 1: Okay. So I remember you said, if you if you

1581
01:21:58,439 --> 01:22:02,960
Speaker 1: have the if you have money, you kind of have control, right.

1582
01:22:03,560 --> 01:22:05,719
Speaker 3: Well, you have you have more, you have more access,

1583
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:09,680
Speaker 3: you have more leverage, you have more options because we

1584
01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:13,200
Speaker 3: can sit around and talk about what they did in

1585
01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:15,439
Speaker 3: Africa all day, like Cliff talking about but the nd

1586
01:22:15,479 --> 01:22:17,800
Speaker 3: day you need money to move around. You need money

1587
01:22:17,840 --> 01:22:20,160
Speaker 3: to So I'm just saying, when you have more money,

1588
01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:23,080
Speaker 3: using an example you gave us, she said I would leave,

1589
01:22:23,160 --> 01:22:24,880
Speaker 3: but I can't afford the bills on my own. She

1590
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:26,840
Speaker 3: gave you a very clear, flat answer that a lot

1591
01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:28,200
Speaker 3: of women say all the time.

1592
01:22:29,680 --> 01:22:34,080
Speaker 1: Okay, So that brings me back to this. So my

1593
01:22:34,280 --> 01:22:37,960
Speaker 1: thing with that is what happens if I mean, he

1594
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:40,519
Speaker 1: don't bring no money in the house, so she's.

1595
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:43,519
Speaker 3: Doing it the whole. Now, well, well she told you

1596
01:22:44,680 --> 01:22:46,920
Speaker 3: I don't make enough, so he's bringing something.

1597
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:48,920
Speaker 1: Nah, I ain't bringing no money.

1598
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:51,720
Speaker 3: No, when you say no money, zero are not enough.

1599
01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:54,840
Speaker 1: He's losing. He got his own business, so he not

1600
01:22:55,240 --> 01:22:57,080
Speaker 1: he not he losing money, but he.

1601
01:22:57,120 --> 01:23:01,160
Speaker 3: Done brought something. I mean, let's be fair of ourselves. Oh,

1602
01:23:01,280 --> 01:23:03,639
Speaker 3: she's shocked because it ain't been a lot. But he's

1603
01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:04,599
Speaker 3: bringing something.

1604
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:08,000
Speaker 1: Nah, she showed, she showed the papers and everything like

1605
01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:09,360
Speaker 1: everything has been a loss.

1606
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:13,160
Speaker 3: Well, just so you know my business, most business owners

1607
01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:15,360
Speaker 3: always want our stuff to show a loss, just so

1608
01:23:15,520 --> 01:23:18,360
Speaker 3: you know. No, seria, that's the way to get by.

1609
01:23:18,479 --> 01:23:20,320
Speaker 3: We're not paying taxes. What I'm saying is that man

1610
01:23:20,600 --> 01:23:23,080
Speaker 3: brought twenty dollars on fifty dollars on I'm not talking

1611
01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:24,960
Speaker 3: them at the paperwork to show he ain't making nothing.

1612
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:28,080
Speaker 3: So just so you know, most businesses, we look for

1613
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:29,920
Speaker 3: ways to show a loss. So you can't go by

1614
01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:32,880
Speaker 3: the paperwork, honestly you can't. That's how we don't have

1615
01:23:32,960 --> 01:23:35,920
Speaker 3: to pay so many taxes. So looking at a business. Ain't.

1616
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:39,000
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is if she's telling you I can't

1617
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:42,080
Speaker 3: afford to live on my own, whatever it is, that

1618
01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:45,160
Speaker 3: he's bringing the two hundred to three hundred to four

1619
01:23:45,240 --> 01:23:48,040
Speaker 3: hundred whatever little bit, even if it's not that month

1620
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:51,080
Speaker 3: but the next month or something, she's literally telling you

1621
01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:55,080
Speaker 3: I need whatever that is now. If he literally don't

1622
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:58,720
Speaker 3: nothing meaning zero, I'm not talking about the paperwork. If

1623
01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:02,800
Speaker 3: he literally hasn't brought down nothing for years and years

1624
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:09,240
Speaker 3: that she wants his companionship, she wants I was just

1625
01:24:09,320 --> 01:24:11,800
Speaker 3: gonna say that too, because I don't believe to pick it.

1626
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:15,679
Speaker 3: I don't believe in the whole notion of a man

1627
01:24:15,800 --> 01:24:19,240
Speaker 3: picking a woman for nothing she can have nothing, or

1628
01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:20,799
Speaker 3: a woman picking a man for nothing.

1629
01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:24,000
Speaker 1: That's not. I don't believe in it.

1630
01:24:24,439 --> 01:24:26,519
Speaker 3: Here's why. Here's why I say that. Here's why I

1631
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:30,240
Speaker 3: say that. I don't believe in it. Everybody something. Some

1632
01:24:30,400 --> 01:24:33,880
Speaker 3: women probably need words of encourage me after you know,

1633
01:24:33,920 --> 01:24:35,400
Speaker 3: I thought you were talking about money because they show

1634
01:24:35,439 --> 01:24:39,559
Speaker 3: him picking them whatever or need just walk up somebody

1635
01:24:39,680 --> 01:24:42,519
Speaker 3: in their bed to make them feel like whatever it is,

1636
01:24:42,880 --> 01:24:48,000
Speaker 3: but it is, Yeah, but he was talking about money.

1637
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:49,880
Speaker 3: He's not talking about if you got something in lieu

1638
01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:53,240
Speaker 3: of that. He's talking about money like literal meaning he

1639
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:54,719
Speaker 3: brings nothing meaning money.

1640
01:24:55,080 --> 01:24:55,840
Speaker 1: Well, I was talking.

1641
01:24:56,080 --> 01:25:00,479
Speaker 7: I also know the voice of df W also stated

1642
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:03,759
Speaker 7: that a man will pick a woman that has nothing.

1643
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:06,439
Speaker 7: That's I don't I don't believe that. But he's talking

1644
01:25:06,439 --> 01:25:09,599
Speaker 7: about financial we had something that he wants.

1645
01:25:09,720 --> 01:25:13,599
Speaker 3: I don't knowfy, let's clarify what he was talking about,

1646
01:25:13,640 --> 01:25:15,120
Speaker 3: and I know the joke he's talking about. What Chris

1647
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:18,639
Speaker 3: Rock was saying. He was talking about overall, when we're

1648
01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:22,040
Speaker 3: only talking about money, when they're only talking about money,

1649
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:25,920
Speaker 3: meaning that a man gets judged on his value based

1650
01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:28,519
Speaker 3: on money, but a woman is not judged on her

1651
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:31,479
Speaker 3: value based on money, which is true. He's not saying

1652
01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:34,640
Speaker 3: that you don't pick that there's something she offers in

1653
01:25:34,840 --> 01:25:38,840
Speaker 3: lieu of money, meaning sex, looks, how she takes care

1654
01:25:38,840 --> 01:25:40,360
Speaker 3: of him, how you rub her back. That wasn't what

1655
01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:42,880
Speaker 3: he was saying. Chris Rock was saying that men are

1656
01:25:42,960 --> 01:25:47,760
Speaker 3: typically judged on their monetary value, and a woman you

1657
01:25:47,840 --> 01:25:50,800
Speaker 3: can bring her along even if she's broke, which is

1658
01:25:50,880 --> 01:25:56,759
Speaker 3: true because women typically when we talk about male female

1659
01:25:57,080 --> 01:25:59,960
Speaker 3: if you talk about even in the jungle the male

1660
01:26:00,360 --> 01:26:06,120
Speaker 3: species is the protector, and the female species he's drawn

1661
01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:11,519
Speaker 3: to her female or her ability to pro create. So

1662
01:26:11,840 --> 01:26:15,360
Speaker 3: just from a mammal standpoint, what Chris Rock was saying

1663
01:26:15,520 --> 01:26:18,959
Speaker 3: is women are not judged by that. And in society,

1664
01:26:19,439 --> 01:26:24,479
Speaker 3: money is kind of synonymous with protection for a lot

1665
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:26,720
Speaker 3: of women. I look at protection as can you go

1666
01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:30,519
Speaker 3: beat him up? A lot of women also put in

1667
01:26:30,720 --> 01:26:34,920
Speaker 3: security and protection as a provider as well. I had

1668
01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:36,800
Speaker 3: this conversation with my girlfriend all the time. You know,

1669
01:26:37,240 --> 01:26:39,840
Speaker 3: she looks at all of that as one like, you

1670
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:41,720
Speaker 3: can't be a protector of me if we don't have

1671
01:26:41,840 --> 01:26:45,559
Speaker 3: shelter over our head. I look at protecting as will

1672
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,960
Speaker 3: you go beat him up? Like literally protect, you know,

1673
01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:52,679
Speaker 3: physical protection I would wreck because to me, the roof

1674
01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:54,880
Speaker 3: over the head. We're gonna figure that out, you know,

1675
01:26:55,080 --> 01:26:57,759
Speaker 3: either way, whether it's me or him or us combined.

1676
01:26:58,160 --> 01:27:00,360
Speaker 3: But I like to know if somebody come in this

1677
01:27:00,479 --> 01:27:02,840
Speaker 3: house at night, can you fight? You know, can you

1678
01:27:02,920 --> 01:27:05,720
Speaker 3: beat them? Particularly me and my situation because I got

1679
01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:08,240
Speaker 3: a mouth, so I liked it. So if we somewhere

1680
01:27:08,479 --> 01:27:10,439
Speaker 3: in a troll come up and say, hey, what did

1681
01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:13,080
Speaker 3: you say on the internet or what it is? Can

1682
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:16,439
Speaker 3: my boyfriend beat you up. So protection for a lot

1683
01:27:16,479 --> 01:27:20,240
Speaker 3: of women, sometimes they throw that provider thing under there,

1684
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:22,360
Speaker 3: and that's where the financial component comes in.

1685
01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:28,320
Speaker 1: Okay, real quickly. So when you said what she calls

1686
01:27:28,680 --> 01:27:31,719
Speaker 1: like a lot of y'all do and just one event.

1687
01:27:32,080 --> 01:27:36,120
Speaker 5: So why why y'all don't like when when the man

1688
01:27:36,200 --> 01:27:38,759
Speaker 5: respond like and tell you like, not based off emotions

1689
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:41,240
Speaker 5: to be like, all right, so what you're gonna do, Well.

1690
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,040
Speaker 3: It's not about us not liking it. It's about a

1691
01:27:43,160 --> 01:27:45,519
Speaker 3: need that we have on how we operate versus men.

1692
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:49,400
Speaker 3: Men typically are solution driven, but that's not always men.

1693
01:27:49,439 --> 01:27:52,040
Speaker 3: When I'm leaning to my masculinity, Like my girlfriends know

1694
01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:53,599
Speaker 3: not to call me because you're gonna get the real

1695
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:58,519
Speaker 3: deal answer. So it's really it's not always all women,

1696
01:27:58,960 --> 01:28:04,639
Speaker 3: but it is a masculine feminine posture. Also, my girlfriend Aisha,

1697
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:07,960
Speaker 3: I handle her with kid gloves. I don't give her

1698
01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:11,320
Speaker 3: the same answers I give Michelle. Michelle even said why

1699
01:28:11,400 --> 01:28:13,320
Speaker 3: you don't be like that Mecause you say you want

1700
01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:14,880
Speaker 3: to be a multimediaire, you say you want to be

1701
01:28:14,920 --> 01:28:16,400
Speaker 3: a bossor beach. You say you want to be this

1702
01:28:16,560 --> 01:28:18,560
Speaker 3: to that, So I'm gonna handle you just like that.

1703
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:22,799
Speaker 3: I'm gonna handle you in a masculine posture where Aisha

1704
01:28:22,920 --> 01:28:25,799
Speaker 3: is not that. She's a school teacher. She's the sweetest

1705
01:28:25,800 --> 01:28:28,760
Speaker 3: person I've ever known. She operates different. You've been married

1706
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:31,920
Speaker 3: for twenty some years. I handle her. Well, that's okay, girl,

1707
01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:35,160
Speaker 3: I hear you. I just listen. I don't give her

1708
01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:39,280
Speaker 3: that straight shot all the time because that's not how

1709
01:28:39,400 --> 01:28:42,280
Speaker 3: she doesn't function in that So the kids, Marcellus, whoever

1710
01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:45,040
Speaker 3: is calling you for advice, men have to learn you

1711
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:46,880
Speaker 3: got to deal with people in the capacity and how

1712
01:28:46,920 --> 01:28:50,479
Speaker 3: they function. And a lot of times men typically are logical.

1713
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:53,320
Speaker 3: They want to give answers and solutions, and sometimes we

1714
01:28:53,479 --> 01:28:55,160
Speaker 3: just want to come to you just to cry. We

1715
01:28:55,280 --> 01:28:57,680
Speaker 3: just want somebody. Pastor Brian talked about this and I

1716
01:28:57,720 --> 01:29:00,559
Speaker 3: love it. You call it empathy deficit disorder. He talked

1717
01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:03,000
Speaker 3: about a story about a little girl that was crying

1718
01:29:03,040 --> 01:29:06,160
Speaker 3: on the steps because her she lost her doll, and

1719
01:29:06,240 --> 01:29:08,240
Speaker 3: another little girl came out and sat on the steps

1720
01:29:08,280 --> 01:29:10,200
Speaker 3: and cried with her. The mother came out and said,

1721
01:29:10,200 --> 01:29:12,080
Speaker 3: why are you crying. You didn't lose your dolls. She said,

1722
01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:14,040
Speaker 3: I want to cry with her. I don't want her

1723
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:18,240
Speaker 3: to cry by herself. So what women typically are looking for,

1724
01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:20,559
Speaker 3: we just want you to cry with us. We don't

1725
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:23,600
Speaker 3: necessarily need an answer, We don't need a solution, We

1726
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:25,560
Speaker 3: don't need a but what you need to do is

1727
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:29,320
Speaker 3: da da da da da da. Sometimes we just just

1728
01:29:29,479 --> 01:29:32,439
Speaker 3: need you just to be in the listening posture instead

1729
01:29:32,439 --> 01:29:34,240
Speaker 3: of always trying to fix it. That goes from women

1730
01:29:34,320 --> 01:29:37,040
Speaker 3: fixers like myself too. My natural answer is.

1731
01:29:37,520 --> 01:29:39,920
Speaker 4: Well did you do that's the heart.

1732
01:29:41,960 --> 01:29:44,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, and everybody and men don't want that, by the way,

1733
01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:47,160
Speaker 3: let me flip it. Men sometimes just want to tell

1734
01:29:47,240 --> 01:29:51,400
Speaker 3: you about such and such, such and such, And the

1735
01:29:51,479 --> 01:29:54,080
Speaker 3: woman in me who is a solution driven person because

1736
01:29:54,160 --> 01:29:57,000
Speaker 3: using my solutions work, so my natural is possitive. Well baby,

1737
01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:58,960
Speaker 3: did you think about doing da da da da da?

1738
01:29:59,080 --> 01:30:00,719
Speaker 3: But sometimes he don't want you to do that. Sometimes

1739
01:30:00,800 --> 01:30:02,000
Speaker 3: just want to be able to just say that and

1740
01:30:02,120 --> 01:30:04,800
Speaker 3: be like, oh man, that's fucked up you want I'm working.

1741
01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:08,519
Speaker 3: I'm working on my ability with that with to just

1742
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:11,559
Speaker 3: have someone to come to me invent.

1743
01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:14,960
Speaker 7: I tell my kids all the time when they come

1744
01:30:15,120 --> 01:30:18,400
Speaker 7: to me with a situation, tell me what you want first,

1745
01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:21,240
Speaker 7: Like do you wanna do you want to just vent?

1746
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:25,920
Speaker 7: Or do you want my opinion because me personally, if

1747
01:30:26,040 --> 01:30:27,479
Speaker 7: you I would give you a solution.

1748
01:30:27,760 --> 01:30:31,320
Speaker 3: I don't want to sit here and here you cry,

1749
01:30:31,840 --> 01:30:35,080
Speaker 3: you want you, I don't want you. Gotth definit disorder

1750
01:30:35,280 --> 01:30:38,400
Speaker 3: you got together. I don't like that because see, okay,

1751
01:30:38,479 --> 01:30:40,680
Speaker 3: so since let's give to it, then let's go to

1752
01:30:40,720 --> 01:30:45,360
Speaker 3: a very protective spirit. So like let's just the dog

1753
01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:46,519
Speaker 3: the dog situation.

1754
01:30:46,640 --> 01:30:48,680
Speaker 7: You said at the pastor game, I be figuring out

1755
01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:50,120
Speaker 7: a way and let's go find a little dog.

1756
01:30:50,240 --> 01:30:53,120
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got We're

1757
01:30:53,120 --> 01:30:55,960
Speaker 3: about to unpack this though. We're about this gonna cry

1758
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:58,240
Speaker 3: behind the dog. Let's go let's see the Okay, hold

1759
01:30:58,280 --> 01:31:00,519
Speaker 3: on a ways says, let's let's go about to get in.

1760
01:31:00,640 --> 01:31:04,519
Speaker 3: Let's get into the sister talk because see, oh yeah,

1761
01:31:04,520 --> 01:31:05,120
Speaker 3: were about to do this.

1762
01:31:05,280 --> 01:31:05,640
Speaker 2: I love it.

1763
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:07,960
Speaker 3: Hey, I was about to end this. We're about to go.

1764
01:31:08,040 --> 01:31:10,360
Speaker 3: We about to get in. So see then what we

1765
01:31:10,439 --> 01:31:13,160
Speaker 3: call empathy deficity disorder. See you know, you know a

1766
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,680
Speaker 3: couple of words and just hear me out. Let me

1767
01:31:14,760 --> 01:31:17,840
Speaker 3: make the case. The couple of things you said is

1768
01:31:18,040 --> 01:31:21,800
Speaker 3: see I don't want to hear that. See I I'm

1769
01:31:21,880 --> 01:31:24,439
Speaker 3: not the no hold on, I'm not about to cry

1770
01:31:24,439 --> 01:31:27,920
Speaker 3: over no dog. I a gonna get up. Everything you

1771
01:31:28,040 --> 01:31:31,759
Speaker 3: said was about you. And so when you are talking

1772
01:31:31,840 --> 01:31:36,560
Speaker 3: about empathy, that this is the work I do activism.

1773
01:31:37,040 --> 01:31:39,479
Speaker 3: See if I see the difference between me and a

1774
01:31:39,520 --> 01:31:41,360
Speaker 3: lot of other people party, See if I do it

1775
01:31:41,479 --> 01:31:43,640
Speaker 3: based on what I would do, I wouldn't have the

1776
01:31:43,840 --> 01:31:48,000
Speaker 3: empathy for the least of these because I could easily

1777
01:31:48,080 --> 01:31:49,760
Speaker 3: sit back and say, well, I ain't gonna be on

1778
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:51,880
Speaker 3: that job. Well, I wouldn't be doing that. Well, I

1779
01:31:51,880 --> 01:31:53,559
Speaker 3: wouldn't have never did that. And what to jail, Well

1780
01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:57,920
Speaker 3: I wouldn't never did. See my empathy. Empathy allows you

1781
01:31:58,080 --> 01:32:00,800
Speaker 3: to step in somebody else's sho you see a snip

1782
01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:03,000
Speaker 3: about you and what you wouldn't do. And Croyd for

1783
01:32:03,080 --> 01:32:07,000
Speaker 3: no doll, Thank God for tell me and Aisha, who

1784
01:32:07,080 --> 01:32:10,599
Speaker 3: have cried with me on every step of the way.

1785
01:32:10,880 --> 01:32:13,400
Speaker 3: When I went to when and this is real time

1786
01:32:13,520 --> 01:32:15,200
Speaker 3: talk we talked about this is why I got thirty

1787
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:18,240
Speaker 3: year relationships from the fifth grade all the way down

1788
01:32:18,280 --> 01:32:21,080
Speaker 3: to my big age. And when I and when dal

1789
01:32:21,160 --> 01:32:23,040
Speaker 3: Bell broke up with me, when I had to break

1790
01:32:23,640 --> 01:32:26,200
Speaker 3: you know, I like to tell y'all the stories When

1791
01:32:26,240 --> 01:32:29,880
Speaker 3: I had to break up with Tyrone when I was twelve,

1792
01:32:29,920 --> 01:32:32,839
Speaker 3: I guess thirteen, and Allama told me that Tyro.

1793
01:32:32,920 --> 01:32:35,120
Speaker 1: Before you finished the I g saying they lost the sound.

1794
01:32:35,160 --> 01:32:36,880
Speaker 1: They said it's too good. They need to hear.

1795
01:32:37,400 --> 01:32:39,880
Speaker 3: Oh they said they lost it. Oh yeah, it's somebody

1796
01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:42,479
Speaker 3: called let me get back in. Let me go back

1797
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:45,280
Speaker 3: in because now because now we're gonna get to the

1798
01:32:45,280 --> 01:32:48,600
Speaker 3: story times, we're gonna get to I'm another when I

1799
01:32:48,680 --> 01:32:50,960
Speaker 3: get to give as system good cist talk. Now, y'all

1800
01:32:51,040 --> 01:32:53,080
Speaker 3: insist talk, y'all listening to how I talk to my

1801
01:32:53,160 --> 01:32:57,400
Speaker 3: sisters now now because it's it's it's always good to

1802
01:32:57,479 --> 01:32:59,639
Speaker 3: to get these hypotheticals and all that, but we're gonna

1803
01:32:59,640 --> 01:33:04,040
Speaker 3: give you vice. Real example when Tyrone Boy, when I

1804
01:33:04,120 --> 01:33:06,639
Speaker 3: had to break up with Tyrone Boy and my mama

1805
01:33:06,720 --> 01:33:09,880
Speaker 3: said you can't break I said, I'm gonna kill myself.

1806
01:33:10,680 --> 01:33:13,760
Speaker 3: I went and got me some bleach in the cup.

1807
01:33:14,360 --> 01:33:16,920
Speaker 3: I called Aisha. I said, I ain't gonna be able

1808
01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:19,679
Speaker 3: to make it. She made me the breakup with Tyrone

1809
01:33:19,760 --> 01:33:23,400
Speaker 3: my mother, who was not an empathetic person. Because I'm

1810
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:25,280
Speaker 3: gonna get to that everything you said, okay, because I'm

1811
01:33:25,280 --> 01:33:29,400
Speaker 3: a mama too. My mother, who was not an empathetic person,

1812
01:33:30,880 --> 01:33:33,120
Speaker 3: came in said she ain't got time to be doing

1813
01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:34,800
Speaker 3: all that. I ain't gonna be crying over no boy.

1814
01:33:34,840 --> 01:33:36,679
Speaker 3: You ain't gonna be crying over no boy. In fact,

1815
01:33:36,720 --> 01:33:39,200
Speaker 3: she brought she was trying to meet a deadline with

1816
01:33:39,360 --> 01:33:42,479
Speaker 3: her business with Creative Type and Services, and she said, Uh,

1817
01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:45,960
Speaker 3: if you gonna die, we gonna die too. Pour the

1818
01:33:46,320 --> 01:33:48,439
Speaker 3: bleach in. Let's let's toss it up because I ain't

1819
01:33:48,439 --> 01:33:50,479
Speaker 3: got time for this. I gotta move on to the

1820
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:52,720
Speaker 3: next job. I gotta move on to the next day.

1821
01:33:52,960 --> 01:33:54,720
Speaker 3: Let me be clear, k I am the woman that

1822
01:33:54,840 --> 01:33:58,800
Speaker 3: I am because of my mother. I am not upset, mad,

1823
01:33:58,960 --> 01:34:01,280
Speaker 3: herd whatever. But I'm giving it to you for real

1824
01:34:01,960 --> 01:34:04,720
Speaker 3: that I am glad that I had the balance of

1825
01:34:04,880 --> 01:34:08,439
Speaker 3: having Aisha who was there to cry with me. I

1826
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:10,800
Speaker 3: am grateful that when Dale Bell when I had to

1827
01:34:10,840 --> 01:34:12,479
Speaker 3: break up, when he broke my heart, I went over

1828
01:34:12,520 --> 01:34:14,400
Speaker 3: Tammy's house, these same people y'all see in the comments

1829
01:34:14,439 --> 01:34:17,080
Speaker 3: to this day, and I laid in her lap in

1830
01:34:17,200 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 3: her church slip and she sat there and saying, your

1831
01:34:21,479 --> 01:34:25,759
Speaker 3: loves not you, Your loves not you. Back day nineties,

1832
01:34:25,800 --> 01:34:27,960
Speaker 3: aw she sat there and sang with me. I am

1833
01:34:28,040 --> 01:34:29,920
Speaker 3: glad when I went to the military and I had

1834
01:34:29,960 --> 01:34:32,679
Speaker 3: a two minute phone call. Guess who I called first.

1835
01:34:32,800 --> 01:34:36,920
Speaker 3: I did not call my mother. I called Tandy because

1836
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:39,760
Speaker 3: in that moment, Kay, I needed somebody to cry with me.

1837
01:34:40,920 --> 01:34:42,880
Speaker 3: So I know where you're going with this sis, and

1838
01:34:42,960 --> 01:34:44,720
Speaker 3: I get it. And just let yourself speak to you

1839
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:48,600
Speaker 3: for a moment, because I do tell my daughter do

1840
01:34:48,720 --> 01:34:50,240
Speaker 3: you want me? Is this a listening or do you

1841
01:34:50,320 --> 01:34:53,800
Speaker 3: want a solution? And I also even when she say listen,

1842
01:34:53,880 --> 01:34:55,200
Speaker 3: and I know I got to step in and be

1843
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:57,080
Speaker 3: a parent. There's also some way that I do that too,

1844
01:34:57,880 --> 01:34:59,840
Speaker 3: where I say, baby, I'm listening to you. But I

1845
01:35:00,160 --> 01:35:03,160
Speaker 3: so it's my responsibility to raise you. So can I

1846
01:35:03,280 --> 01:35:06,360
Speaker 3: offer you this advice because I need you that it

1847
01:35:06,479 --> 01:35:08,800
Speaker 3: is a way that I handle it. It's a way

1848
01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:11,599
Speaker 3: that I do give it. If you are the type

1849
01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:13,760
Speaker 3: of person that saying, well, I ain't gonna be crying

1850
01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:15,680
Speaker 3: over this, well see, I ain't gonna be this, and

1851
01:35:15,880 --> 01:35:18,439
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna be that, and I'm gonna find a slut.

1852
01:35:18,640 --> 01:35:21,720
Speaker 3: You are talking about you and not them, And so

1853
01:35:21,880 --> 01:35:25,040
Speaker 3: what I would ask is when somebody is coming just

1854
01:35:25,200 --> 01:35:33,479
Speaker 3: consider when God has given them the discernment and the

1855
01:35:33,840 --> 01:35:38,000
Speaker 3: and giving you the gift of soolute, because that's a gift.

1856
01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:39,960
Speaker 3: If people are coming to you with problems, it's a gift.

1857
01:35:41,000 --> 01:35:43,840
Speaker 3: But you also want to be mindful that people know

1858
01:35:43,920 --> 01:35:47,160
Speaker 3: they can come to you, because when you are a

1859
01:35:47,240 --> 01:35:50,599
Speaker 3: strong person like me, people are ashamed to present their

1860
01:35:50,640 --> 01:35:54,000
Speaker 3: weakness to you. Those same two very best friends, one

1861
01:35:54,040 --> 01:35:56,479
Speaker 3: of them, I know all of her vulnerable moments, and

1862
01:35:56,560 --> 01:36:01,559
Speaker 3: the reason why is because she has seen me vulnerable

1863
01:36:01,680 --> 01:36:04,120
Speaker 3: herself the live ending. I don't know why she has

1864
01:36:04,160 --> 01:36:07,120
Speaker 3: seen me vulnerable herself, so she knows that I'm not

1865
01:36:07,240 --> 01:36:10,639
Speaker 3: judging her. My other best friend doesn't tell me everything

1866
01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:13,200
Speaker 3: because a lot of times, since people are embarrassed by

1867
01:36:13,280 --> 01:36:15,720
Speaker 3: what they're going through, you don't want to talk to you.

1868
01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:18,880
Speaker 3: They're gonna feel judged. They gonna feel like, well, damn,

1869
01:36:18,960 --> 01:36:20,719
Speaker 3: I told her this. She told me, No, we're gonna

1870
01:36:20,720 --> 01:36:22,280
Speaker 3: go get a new dog now, girl, Fuck that, We're

1871
01:36:22,280 --> 01:36:23,679
Speaker 3: gonna go get a new man a girl. You ain't

1872
01:36:23,680 --> 01:36:25,120
Speaker 3: got to deal with that. And what they're doing is

1873
01:36:25,160 --> 01:36:28,920
Speaker 3: they're feeling judged and you're not a soft landing for them. Now,

1874
01:36:29,080 --> 01:36:33,080
Speaker 3: say it's okay. First, let's go back a little bit. Okay,

1875
01:36:33,479 --> 01:36:33,760
Speaker 3: and my.

1876
01:36:35,680 --> 01:36:37,800
Speaker 7: Matter, and it's your statement was that's something that I

1877
01:36:37,920 --> 01:36:40,200
Speaker 7: have to get better with. Yeah, that was my first

1878
01:36:40,240 --> 01:36:42,920
Speaker 7: thing that I said. Now my second thing, My second

1879
01:36:42,960 --> 01:36:48,000
Speaker 7: point is that you don't from the outside looking in

1880
01:36:48,400 --> 01:36:53,320
Speaker 7: at you, You don't give off the energy of you

1881
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:56,639
Speaker 7: like some cri baby like you sent around you crying

1882
01:36:56,720 --> 01:37:02,920
Speaker 7: about everything that you experience a deal with in life.

1883
01:37:03,080 --> 01:37:04,960
Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying, Like I understand that we

1884
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:06,639
Speaker 7: do have vulnerable moments.

1885
01:37:06,920 --> 01:37:07,760
Speaker 3: Yes we do.

1886
01:37:08,520 --> 01:37:13,800
Speaker 7: Everybody got vulnerable moments, but me personally, he is going

1887
01:37:13,840 --> 01:37:16,720
Speaker 7: back to you personally, I'm not kidding right, and that

1888
01:37:17,120 --> 01:37:20,800
Speaker 7: I'm working on it. That's why you need to work

1889
01:37:20,800 --> 01:37:24,720
Speaker 7: on its coming to you because what I'm telling you

1890
01:37:24,920 --> 01:37:26,840
Speaker 7: is it's not about you. See like when you said,

1891
01:37:26,840 --> 01:37:28,000
Speaker 7: well tells you don't give that off.

1892
01:37:28,120 --> 01:37:30,439
Speaker 3: No, I don't. I don't for me. But I also

1893
01:37:30,520 --> 01:37:32,760
Speaker 3: on the Jamal podcast today, he asked me how do

1894
01:37:32,840 --> 01:37:35,439
Speaker 3: I ground myself? And I said, sometimes I ground myself

1895
01:37:35,479 --> 01:37:38,160
Speaker 3: through grieving. I'll cry for hours, So I do cry

1896
01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:41,160
Speaker 3: about things out everything. But that's the key that I

1897
01:37:41,240 --> 01:37:43,760
Speaker 3: want to hone in on. When somebody's coming to me,

1898
01:37:43,840 --> 01:37:45,840
Speaker 3: when I'm speaking for those. For the least of these,

1899
01:37:46,160 --> 01:37:49,760
Speaker 3: I am completely removing myself. I'm not talking about me

1900
01:37:49,920 --> 01:37:51,720
Speaker 3: and what I do and how I do it, and

1901
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:55,280
Speaker 3: how I this and how I that I repove myself

1902
01:37:56,320 --> 01:38:00,599
Speaker 3: from the situation. I don't say Marcel's aboutways you. I'll

1903
01:38:00,640 --> 01:38:02,760
Speaker 3: be this this that marcell I look at him as

1904
01:38:02,760 --> 01:38:04,280
Speaker 3: a little brother, even though he in his thirties. I

1905
01:38:04,400 --> 01:38:07,000
Speaker 3: give him advice out of love, marcell I'm telling y'all

1906
01:38:07,040 --> 01:38:08,840
Speaker 3: heard me do it on the lot. Marcelle, you need

1907
01:38:08,880 --> 01:38:10,679
Speaker 3: to get that. Okay, Well, I'm telling you you get that, roommate,

1908
01:38:10,680 --> 01:38:12,760
Speaker 3: you need this, you need that. But I still make

1909
01:38:12,880 --> 01:38:15,400
Speaker 3: it okay for him to even feel like he can

1910
01:38:15,479 --> 01:38:18,439
Speaker 3: tell his big sister it's a problem that he's hurting,

1911
01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:21,439
Speaker 3: that he's struggling, that he do have an issue that

1912
01:38:21,560 --> 01:38:23,559
Speaker 3: he's doing. And if I shut him down a medle

1913
01:38:23,560 --> 01:38:25,200
Speaker 3: with myself, I wouldn't be putting over that because I'm

1914
01:38:25,200 --> 01:38:27,640
Speaker 3: that that I wouldn't be talking. He ain't me and

1915
01:38:27,720 --> 01:38:30,479
Speaker 3: I ain't him. So I still need to be in

1916
01:38:30,560 --> 01:38:33,360
Speaker 3: a in a space that he can have a pillow

1917
01:38:33,520 --> 01:38:37,800
Speaker 3: to cry on. And so what you asked the question,

1918
01:38:38,200 --> 01:38:40,120
Speaker 3: how can I help you what what what is it

1919
01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:42,320
Speaker 3: that you need? I don't want you to help me though?

1920
01:38:42,560 --> 01:38:43,960
Speaker 3: What about hr suggestion?

1921
01:38:44,080 --> 01:38:44,280
Speaker 1: Boss?

1922
01:38:44,640 --> 01:38:46,760
Speaker 3: You wanted not hear? That's a help if you just

1923
01:38:46,880 --> 01:38:48,519
Speaker 3: wanted to be What about it? I don't know how

1924
01:38:48,560 --> 01:38:50,160
Speaker 3: to do that? But what about if you since you

1925
01:38:50,280 --> 01:38:52,280
Speaker 3: know that's something you need to work on? What about

1926
01:38:52,320 --> 01:38:53,640
Speaker 3: if I don't know what to tell you that? I

1927
01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:57,479
Speaker 3: just want you to left. Think you need to No, no,

1928
01:38:57,680 --> 01:39:01,080
Speaker 3: no no, you need to figure out what you no

1929
01:39:02,640 --> 01:39:05,719
Speaker 3: that you need so you can properly communicate that. Okay,

1930
01:39:05,800 --> 01:39:08,240
Speaker 3: you hard on them? Oh girl you ooh you hard

1931
01:39:08,320 --> 01:39:08,599
Speaker 3: on them?

1932
01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:10,200
Speaker 6: I hard?

1933
01:39:14,439 --> 01:39:14,880
Speaker 1: What about it?

1934
01:39:14,920 --> 01:39:16,840
Speaker 3: If he don't know what to communicate to you, it

1935
01:39:16,880 --> 01:39:18,120
Speaker 3: ain't about he, it's to him.

1936
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:20,040
Speaker 1: Are one a woman or men?

1937
01:39:20,200 --> 01:39:23,680
Speaker 3: I'm just using Marcella's as an example. Okay, right now?

1938
01:39:23,960 --> 01:39:27,200
Speaker 3: What if marcellas don't know listen when a kid hold on,

1939
01:39:27,320 --> 01:39:29,920
Speaker 3: wait a minute says, when my child is coming to me,

1940
01:39:30,080 --> 01:39:32,679
Speaker 3: she don't know if she need advice or just a listening. Ear,

1941
01:39:32,800 --> 01:39:35,920
Speaker 3: it's my job as the solution says, we're so good

1942
01:39:36,000 --> 01:39:39,799
Speaker 3: on solutions. You need to know does this require a listening?

1943
01:39:40,320 --> 01:39:43,160
Speaker 3: Or this require advice? Do I know how to read?

1944
01:39:43,240 --> 01:39:46,560
Speaker 3: The room. Do I ain gonna lie my kid a

1945
01:39:46,560 --> 01:39:47,160
Speaker 3: little dead? Her?

1946
01:39:47,200 --> 01:39:49,519
Speaker 7: Because she tells she don't want who checked me? She

1947
01:39:49,560 --> 01:39:51,800
Speaker 7: don't want who check? She said, Mama, I don't want it.

1948
01:39:51,840 --> 01:39:53,360
Speaker 7: I don't want you to say anything.

1949
01:39:53,439 --> 01:39:56,000
Speaker 3: I just want you to listen and I'll be like,

1950
01:39:56,120 --> 01:39:58,360
Speaker 3: you know better. You do need to say? So she

1951
01:39:58,520 --> 01:40:00,599
Speaker 3: tell you I need you to listen and the parenting,

1952
01:40:00,640 --> 01:40:02,200
Speaker 3: and you know you need to give her advice?

1953
01:40:02,280 --> 01:40:03,240
Speaker 6: Do you not give it to her?

1954
01:40:04,080 --> 01:40:09,559
Speaker 3: You know I give it to Okay, then ding ding dan.

1955
01:40:09,680 --> 01:40:10,599
Speaker 3: Did y'all hear what I said?

1956
01:40:10,640 --> 01:40:10,800
Speaker 2: Boy?

1957
01:40:10,880 --> 01:40:11,479
Speaker 1: Step something?

1958
01:40:12,120 --> 01:40:14,000
Speaker 3: Y'all hear what I said? Priscilla did y'all hear what

1959
01:40:14,080 --> 01:40:17,720
Speaker 3: I said? So it came down to her discernment. Correct, Yep,

1960
01:40:18,160 --> 01:40:21,639
Speaker 3: it came down It still came down to you knowing

1961
01:40:22,120 --> 01:40:25,400
Speaker 3: regardless of what she said, regardless of her saying I

1962
01:40:25,439 --> 01:40:27,320
Speaker 3: don't want your advice. You know, if you needed to

1963
01:40:27,320 --> 01:40:28,640
Speaker 3: step in and give it to, you gonna give it

1964
01:40:28,680 --> 01:40:31,679
Speaker 3: to So that came down to you, the solution driver.

1965
01:40:32,120 --> 01:40:34,360
Speaker 3: So even if she's saying I don't want your advice,

1966
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:36,559
Speaker 3: I just want you to listen. If I know you're

1967
01:40:36,560 --> 01:40:38,200
Speaker 3: about to jump off the clip, I'm gonna give it

1968
01:40:38,240 --> 01:40:40,960
Speaker 3: to Hey, baby, I know, So that means it came

1969
01:40:41,000 --> 01:40:44,000
Speaker 3: on you, k So you're the responsible one. It's not

1970
01:40:44,200 --> 01:40:48,519
Speaker 3: on them to know their needs. It's on you that

1971
01:40:48,680 --> 01:40:52,120
Speaker 3: God has sent them to you to know how to

1972
01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:54,600
Speaker 3: read the room, especially if you know you got a

1973
01:40:54,680 --> 01:40:57,600
Speaker 3: problem with it. It's up to you to have the

1974
01:40:57,760 --> 01:41:02,000
Speaker 3: responsibility to know what you to know how to operate.

1975
01:41:02,280 --> 01:41:04,240
Speaker 3: And if you know that you don't know how to operate,

1976
01:41:04,360 --> 01:41:06,280
Speaker 3: that then when somebody come to you, you need to say,

1977
01:41:06,320 --> 01:41:10,439
Speaker 3: I don't that ain't my ministry. Go tell somebody else. Yeah,

1978
01:41:11,400 --> 01:41:13,680
Speaker 3: you while you're telling them, they need to know they

1979
01:41:13,720 --> 01:41:15,160
Speaker 3: need you need to know that you ain't the one

1980
01:41:15,240 --> 01:41:16,960
Speaker 3: they need to be coming to. So maybe you should

1981
01:41:16,960 --> 01:41:19,160
Speaker 3: tell them, Hey, that ain't my ministry. I don't, Hey,

1982
01:41:19,520 --> 01:41:21,559
Speaker 3: go tell somebody else, because all I'm gonna know how

1983
01:41:21,600 --> 01:41:24,640
Speaker 3: to do is give you solutions, right yeah, yeah, uh

1984
01:41:24,720 --> 01:41:28,960
Speaker 3: huh yeah. Don't you can't come fit me without solutions. Well,

1985
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:31,519
Speaker 3: I just hope, well down, I hope. I ain't never

1986
01:41:31,560 --> 01:41:37,280
Speaker 3: gonna care you. It's like annoying to me, it really is.

1987
01:41:37,720 --> 01:41:39,320
Speaker 1: But somebody had that passire for you.

1988
01:41:41,240 --> 01:41:46,920
Speaker 8: What you mean, Yeah, if you have been to people before,

1989
01:41:49,280 --> 01:41:51,920
Speaker 8: are they trying to be saying Yeah, I.

1990
01:41:51,960 --> 01:41:54,719
Speaker 10: Think I think all of this, you know, stands around

1991
01:41:54,800 --> 01:41:57,840
Speaker 10: the fact that you have to understand that it's all

1992
01:41:57,840 --> 01:41:59,160
Speaker 10: about effect communication.

1993
01:42:00,200 --> 01:42:00,320
Speaker 8: Right.

1994
01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:04,439
Speaker 10: So if someone comes to you, they may especially as

1995
01:42:04,439 --> 01:42:08,480
Speaker 10: a child, right, they may or they may not necessarily

1996
01:42:08,680 --> 01:42:11,760
Speaker 10: know what it is that they're needing from you. But

1997
01:42:12,120 --> 01:42:14,240
Speaker 10: as you know, she said, if you have the discernment

1998
01:42:14,960 --> 01:42:17,479
Speaker 10: of being able to identify what it is that they need,

1999
01:42:18,160 --> 01:42:20,800
Speaker 10: you have to be willing to communicate it to them

2000
01:42:21,280 --> 01:42:23,360
Speaker 10: in a manner in which they will receiving.

2001
01:42:24,400 --> 01:42:24,519
Speaker 4: Right.

2002
01:42:24,800 --> 01:42:26,920
Speaker 10: So it's like people talk about, hey, I'm gonna get

2003
01:42:26,920 --> 01:42:31,080
Speaker 10: that harsh truth, Well, what is your intent when you're

2004
01:42:31,160 --> 01:42:33,840
Speaker 10: giving them the truth? Are you trying to give them

2005
01:42:33,840 --> 01:42:36,519
Speaker 10: the truth to benefit them or are you trying to

2006
01:42:36,840 --> 01:42:39,320
Speaker 10: give them the truth to make yourself feel some kind

2007
01:42:39,320 --> 01:42:42,760
Speaker 10: of way. So when you address those situations, you got

2008
01:42:42,880 --> 01:42:46,560
Speaker 10: to be mindful of why am I saying what it

2009
01:42:46,720 --> 01:42:49,400
Speaker 10: is that I'm going to say, And is what I'm

2010
01:42:49,479 --> 01:42:52,400
Speaker 10: going to say going to be said in a manner

2011
01:42:52,439 --> 01:42:53,559
Speaker 10: in which they'll will receive.

2012
01:42:55,520 --> 01:42:58,600
Speaker 4: So that's just you know, my take on it.

2013
01:43:00,080 --> 01:43:07,000
Speaker 3: If you don't sit back, yeah, I just think k

2014
01:43:07,240 --> 01:43:11,400
Speaker 3: hard on them at the where they say, damn.

2015
01:43:11,280 --> 01:43:12,080
Speaker 1: You are on the beach.

2016
01:43:13,360 --> 01:43:15,680
Speaker 3: Do do that sense for rest? You are on me?

2017
01:43:15,800 --> 01:43:15,960
Speaker 8: Y'all?

2018
01:43:16,000 --> 01:43:18,360
Speaker 3: Hope, I ain't never know this. I definitely ain't gonna

2019
01:43:18,360 --> 01:43:21,880
Speaker 3: call you. And you just need to tell people that

2020
01:43:22,560 --> 01:43:25,120
Speaker 3: ain't my ministry. And that's all right, just say that

2021
01:43:25,200 --> 01:43:28,920
Speaker 3: my minute, yes above me for me. But I also

2022
01:43:29,160 --> 01:43:31,040
Speaker 3: I don't have a bunch of girlfriends. I only have

2023
01:43:31,200 --> 01:43:34,720
Speaker 3: two literally, you know, I got well, I would say four,

2024
01:43:34,880 --> 01:43:39,320
Speaker 3: but two, like maybe three. Even Michelle, she's like a

2025
01:43:39,360 --> 01:43:42,519
Speaker 3: babysitter's more like a mentee, but she calls and she's

2026
01:43:42,640 --> 01:43:45,040
Speaker 3: asking for advice. So when she's calling me, she's literally

2027
01:43:45,120 --> 01:43:47,120
Speaker 3: asking for advice. But we don't talk about men. We

2028
01:43:47,160 --> 01:43:48,800
Speaker 3: don't talk about matters of the heart. We don't talk

2029
01:43:48,840 --> 01:43:50,800
Speaker 3: about any you know, she's talking about just business and

2030
01:43:50,880 --> 01:43:53,600
Speaker 3: business alon matters of the heart. I only talk to

2031
01:43:53,800 --> 01:43:57,439
Speaker 3: three girlfriends about that. And I am I try to

2032
01:43:57,479 --> 01:44:01,160
Speaker 3: be listening soundboard and I read the room for you know,

2033
01:44:01,400 --> 01:44:04,040
Speaker 3: if this is a moment of when to shut up

2034
01:44:04,520 --> 01:44:06,720
Speaker 3: or a moment when to just be quiet. And I

2035
01:44:06,920 --> 01:44:10,439
Speaker 3: actually listen more than I talk. And that's another point.

2036
01:44:10,560 --> 01:44:12,519
Speaker 3: K when he's like, you don't really give that, Well,

2037
01:44:12,560 --> 01:44:14,960
Speaker 3: that's because this is how y'all see me. You haven't

2038
01:44:15,080 --> 01:44:17,320
Speaker 3: been my girlfriend, you know, for thirty years, you know

2039
01:44:17,360 --> 01:44:19,559
Speaker 3: what I mean. So a lot of what how people

2040
01:44:19,920 --> 01:44:22,720
Speaker 3: I am teslain, I am who I am, But my

2041
01:44:22,920 --> 01:44:26,920
Speaker 3: vulnerability areas I don't get. That's not for everybody to get,

2042
01:44:26,960 --> 01:44:29,639
Speaker 3: you know. That's these are social media things. People think

2043
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:32,000
Speaker 3: it's a real relationship, but it's not. It's social media,

2044
01:44:32,080 --> 01:44:34,880
Speaker 3: you know. So you're always gonna see me in the

2045
01:44:36,160 --> 01:44:39,640
Speaker 3: the uh, the activist fighting posture because that I'm here

2046
01:44:39,680 --> 01:44:42,759
Speaker 3: to fight, I'm online to fight, I'm here to educate.

2047
01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:44,519
Speaker 3: I'm here to show up. This is the bus stop

2048
01:44:44,560 --> 01:44:48,280
Speaker 3: to me. But even then, if you pay close attention

2049
01:44:48,720 --> 01:44:51,760
Speaker 3: and you look at what I'm fighting for. If I

2050
01:44:51,880 --> 01:44:54,360
Speaker 3: had the attitude of tells you ain't the type that

2051
01:44:54,520 --> 01:44:56,920
Speaker 3: really that's going for that, I wouldn't be doing anything

2052
01:44:57,000 --> 01:45:01,200
Speaker 3: that I'm doing because I'm okay personally. I am fighting

2053
01:45:01,320 --> 01:45:03,920
Speaker 3: for those that don't have a voice. I'm fighting for

2054
01:45:04,080 --> 01:45:06,679
Speaker 3: those that can't speak up. I'm fighting for the poor

2055
01:45:06,720 --> 01:45:08,760
Speaker 3: in the middle class. If I had the attitude of

2056
01:45:09,040 --> 01:45:11,200
Speaker 3: you just need to shut up and deal with it,

2057
01:45:11,280 --> 01:45:13,080
Speaker 3: and I ain't gonna be crying over no baby, and

2058
01:45:13,200 --> 01:45:14,880
Speaker 3: we need to go get another baby. That's actually a

2059
01:45:15,040 --> 01:45:19,120
Speaker 3: very conservative, right wing attitude, which is pull yourself up

2060
01:45:19,120 --> 01:45:21,840
Speaker 3: by the bootstraps. Stop crying about it, stop bitch, and

2061
01:45:21,920 --> 01:45:24,680
Speaker 3: stop complaining. What's your problem. You shouldn't have chose this,

2062
01:45:24,800 --> 01:45:25,720
Speaker 3: you shouldn't have had So.

2063
01:45:26,800 --> 01:45:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm not that.

2064
01:45:28,680 --> 01:45:31,520
Speaker 3: To me, that is very cruel and it's no compassion,

2065
01:45:31,960 --> 01:45:34,120
Speaker 3: and it's no empathy at all. It is a lack

2066
01:45:34,240 --> 01:45:39,280
Speaker 3: of empathy. In fact, Elon Musk said that America's number

2067
01:45:39,320 --> 01:45:43,479
Speaker 3: one problem is empathy. He said, America's number one problem

2068
01:45:43,600 --> 01:45:48,720
Speaker 3: is feeling sorry for others. So actually I do give that.

2069
01:45:49,439 --> 01:45:54,000
Speaker 3: You just see me in a strong position that all

2070
01:45:54,120 --> 01:45:58,200
Speaker 3: empathy doesn't look weak. All empathy is not crying. Actually,

2071
01:45:58,520 --> 01:46:03,080
Speaker 3: the greatest empathy of all is justice. The greatest empathy

2072
01:46:03,160 --> 01:46:06,400
Speaker 3: of all is standing up for somebody in a strong position.

2073
01:46:06,880 --> 01:46:09,120
Speaker 3: The greatest empathy, I tell my grandmother all the time,

2074
01:46:10,000 --> 01:46:14,479
Speaker 3: the greatest empathy of all is fighting back. It's not

2075
01:46:14,640 --> 01:46:18,360
Speaker 3: crying in the corner, it's turning over the tables. That

2076
01:46:18,920 --> 01:46:22,240
Speaker 3: is true empathy. Truly putting yourself on somebody else's shoes,

2077
01:46:22,640 --> 01:46:26,240
Speaker 3: saying I'm straight, but these federal workers ain't straight. Oh,

2078
01:46:26,280 --> 01:46:29,560
Speaker 3: It's not always a line with crying or weakness or

2079
01:46:30,040 --> 01:46:32,280
Speaker 3: you know, crying about it all day long. No, I

2080
01:46:32,360 --> 01:46:34,360
Speaker 3: do cry about it. I do talks and turn about it.

2081
01:46:34,479 --> 01:46:37,720
Speaker 3: I just it's what you call empathy compassion, which means

2082
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:40,240
Speaker 3: compelled to take action. And if you look up empathy,

2083
01:46:40,479 --> 01:46:43,839
Speaker 3: I'm so glad I learned it this week. Empathy deficit disorder.

2084
01:46:44,080 --> 01:46:46,920
Speaker 3: It also talks about different levels of empathy where some

2085
01:46:47,040 --> 01:46:49,599
Speaker 3: people will just sit and just cry. Some people will

2086
01:46:49,680 --> 01:46:52,280
Speaker 3: cry and then find a solution. I will cry with

2087
01:46:52,400 --> 01:46:54,720
Speaker 3: you and find a solution. It sounds like you're saying

2088
01:46:54,720 --> 01:46:55,880
Speaker 3: you ain't even gonna cry with them.

2089
01:46:57,920 --> 01:46:58,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2090
01:46:58,800 --> 01:47:01,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, it depends because I don't really cry a lot,

2091
01:47:01,520 --> 01:47:04,720
Speaker 7: to be honest, Uh, to be honest with you, I don't.

2092
01:47:04,560 --> 01:47:08,839
Speaker 3: Really cry a lot. But you know, it really depends

2093
01:47:08,920 --> 01:47:13,479
Speaker 3: on the situation. Like, uh, like I watched your interview

2094
01:47:13,760 --> 01:47:14,640
Speaker 3: with the.

2095
01:47:16,600 --> 01:47:20,120
Speaker 7: Vision with the pastor, and you know, to see you

2096
01:47:20,240 --> 01:47:23,560
Speaker 7: get emotional talking about your experience as far as and

2097
01:47:23,640 --> 01:47:26,920
Speaker 7: with your mom and how she did everything, uh.

2098
01:47:27,680 --> 01:47:30,719
Speaker 3: On her own and you know, just the her whole

2099
01:47:30,920 --> 01:47:31,960
Speaker 3: your whole experience.

2100
01:47:32,280 --> 01:47:34,800
Speaker 7: Like to see you get emotional, deb does you know

2101
01:47:35,520 --> 01:47:39,320
Speaker 7: it brings I have empathy you know, I feel what

2102
01:47:39,520 --> 01:47:42,559
Speaker 7: you said when you say that or when I see

2103
01:47:42,720 --> 01:47:45,320
Speaker 7: like other because I do see you as like this

2104
01:47:45,479 --> 01:47:47,160
Speaker 7: strong woman, so like to see.

2105
01:47:50,000 --> 01:47:54,040
Speaker 3: You know, you expressing your lighter your lighter side. You

2106
01:47:54,120 --> 01:47:56,240
Speaker 3: know of what you're going to to the world that

2107
01:47:56,560 --> 01:48:00,320
Speaker 3: that for me, it's not her friend. And do you

2108
01:48:00,439 --> 01:48:03,120
Speaker 3: do cry? He said, Oh, I guess men cried all

2109
01:48:03,160 --> 01:48:05,559
Speaker 3: because he called me a man and I told him,

2110
01:48:05,640 --> 01:48:08,320
Speaker 3: I said, yeah, that was a motherless child. You were

2111
01:48:08,560 --> 01:48:10,920
Speaker 3: hearing from right and about my mother.

2112
01:48:11,080 --> 01:48:13,960
Speaker 7: Sized with that though, you know when you did that,

2113
01:48:14,880 --> 01:48:18,000
Speaker 7: when you did Joe recap my revolt, before you even

2114
01:48:18,080 --> 01:48:21,200
Speaker 7: did that, you know, you had the same thing, and like,

2115
01:48:21,479 --> 01:48:23,679
Speaker 7: I really didn't.

2116
01:48:23,479 --> 01:48:26,120
Speaker 3: Really feel that HP And but see that's see and

2117
01:48:26,240 --> 01:48:28,320
Speaker 3: see that's what it is supposed to make. You're literally

2118
01:48:28,360 --> 01:48:31,200
Speaker 3: supposed to feel it. See I. I so maybe you

2119
01:48:31,200 --> 01:48:32,800
Speaker 3: ain't a sorry cause you think you are because you

2120
01:48:32,880 --> 01:48:36,160
Speaker 3: were literally feeling it. So and again let's so the

2121
01:48:36,240 --> 01:48:39,040
Speaker 3: anointing does that too, Just so you know when you're talking.

2122
01:48:39,200 --> 01:48:43,280
Speaker 3: That's why I run for my ministry. Gifted prophetic people,

2123
01:48:43,479 --> 01:48:46,439
Speaker 3: people that are called make you feel it. Even people

2124
01:48:46,479 --> 01:48:47,960
Speaker 3: that say I don't feel it, I don't feel it.

2125
01:48:47,960 --> 01:48:50,120
Speaker 3: They kicking and screaming. I refuse the feeling. Yeah, you

2126
01:48:50,240 --> 01:48:52,880
Speaker 3: feeling it because it's called the anointing. That's why they

2127
01:48:52,920 --> 01:48:55,240
Speaker 3: say the anointing destroys the yolk. And that's why my

2128
01:48:55,360 --> 01:48:58,400
Speaker 3: words can make you literally feel it in your bones.

2129
01:48:58,960 --> 01:49:01,679
Speaker 3: So I even went on revolt. I was not talking

2130
01:49:01,720 --> 01:49:04,479
Speaker 3: about so when I talk about mother, I'm talking about

2131
01:49:04,479 --> 01:49:06,040
Speaker 3: my mother. But when I was talking about Tammy, when

2132
01:49:06,040 --> 01:49:07,360
Speaker 3: I was talking about my Unclehen, I was talking about

2133
01:49:07,360 --> 01:49:09,679
Speaker 3: these workers, I was talking about. What I was doing,

2134
01:49:09,720 --> 01:49:13,080
Speaker 3: what you were watching was my empathy for others. I

2135
01:49:13,280 --> 01:49:16,719
Speaker 3: was taking. I was taking their story, putting it inside

2136
01:49:16,760 --> 01:49:20,280
Speaker 3: of me, and then communicating that out. And that is

2137
01:49:20,400 --> 01:49:23,679
Speaker 3: the work of ministry. And when I communicate that out,

2138
01:49:24,040 --> 01:49:26,760
Speaker 3: it's supposed to hit Kay, even Kay who's in the

2139
01:49:26,840 --> 01:49:29,720
Speaker 3: audience that say, I don't be doing all of that feeling. Yeah,

2140
01:49:29,800 --> 01:49:32,200
Speaker 3: you don't feel it, because that's how the Lord touches

2141
01:49:32,320 --> 01:49:36,320
Speaker 3: you in that moment, and and and hopefully it starts

2142
01:49:36,360 --> 01:49:38,920
Speaker 3: breaking down some of those because you with this, I

2143
01:49:38,960 --> 01:49:40,840
Speaker 3: ain't crime come from somewhere.

2144
01:49:41,600 --> 01:49:44,519
Speaker 7: You know, I don't see I gotta always necessarily cry,

2145
01:49:44,960 --> 01:49:47,280
Speaker 7: like you said, like I can feel, And.

2146
01:49:47,760 --> 01:49:49,040
Speaker 3: Let's come up with a solution.

2147
01:49:49,360 --> 01:49:49,639
Speaker 2: I ain't.

2148
01:49:49,960 --> 01:49:51,519
Speaker 3: I don't want to see him feel with you the

2149
01:49:51,600 --> 01:49:52,080
Speaker 3: whole time.

2150
01:49:52,200 --> 01:49:53,160
Speaker 1: I really just don't.

2151
01:49:53,680 --> 01:49:55,599
Speaker 3: That's coming from somewhere, though, Just so you know, that's

2152
01:49:55,640 --> 01:49:59,120
Speaker 3: definitely coming from somewhere. There's there's something about a lot of.

2153
01:49:59,200 --> 01:50:03,360
Speaker 7: Why people she teas for nothing for Lily, I mean,

2154
01:50:04,000 --> 01:50:07,400
Speaker 7: I mean, use it again, and like use it. You

2155
01:50:07,560 --> 01:50:10,080
Speaker 7: know some women I ain't gonna say all women, but

2156
01:50:10,320 --> 01:50:13,479
Speaker 7: some women just break our crime and knowing damn well

2157
01:50:13,600 --> 01:50:16,160
Speaker 7: they did wrong. Like I'm gonna give you an example

2158
01:50:16,400 --> 01:50:19,920
Speaker 7: of what I mean when I say that my grandmother,

2159
01:50:20,960 --> 01:50:27,479
Speaker 7: she on my dad's side, she would take money from

2160
01:50:27,560 --> 01:50:31,280
Speaker 7: my dad, and when he confirmed her about it, like Mama,

2161
01:50:31,320 --> 01:50:34,639
Speaker 7: what's up with this? What happened to my money or whatever? Whatever,

2162
01:50:34,760 --> 01:50:36,240
Speaker 7: She'll break out fucking crying.

2163
01:50:36,520 --> 01:50:38,760
Speaker 3: What you crying for? So? So?

2164
01:50:39,200 --> 01:50:39,479
Speaker 1: So what?

2165
01:50:39,840 --> 01:50:40,000
Speaker 9: Why?

2166
01:50:40,240 --> 01:50:42,960
Speaker 3: What's what I mean when I said? That's what I

2167
01:50:43,080 --> 01:50:45,000
Speaker 3: meant when I said it is coming from somewhere to

2168
01:50:45,160 --> 01:50:46,040
Speaker 3: your own trauma?

2169
01:50:46,160 --> 01:50:46,760
Speaker 10: What you saw?

2170
01:50:47,160 --> 01:50:48,559
Speaker 3: You associate that with everybody.

2171
01:50:48,600 --> 01:50:48,920
Speaker 1: Everybody.

2172
01:50:50,080 --> 01:50:52,720
Speaker 3: Everybody ain't manipulating everybody. And let me let me be clear,

2173
01:50:53,360 --> 01:50:55,320
Speaker 3: I know people used to. First of all, I'm not

2174
01:50:55,400 --> 01:50:57,120
Speaker 3: big on crime. Marcel's and them know that, and I

2175
01:50:57,240 --> 01:50:59,559
Speaker 3: give you do it on TV, I talked to shut

2176
01:50:59,600 --> 01:51:02,960
Speaker 3: the bottom, so I'm I'm I'm not a proud baby

2177
01:51:03,040 --> 01:51:05,360
Speaker 3: of that source. I also have taught women how you

2178
01:51:05,479 --> 01:51:07,840
Speaker 3: need to learn how to articulate without breaking down a tears,

2179
01:51:07,880 --> 01:51:10,400
Speaker 3: So we're the same with that. But you basically just

2180
01:51:10,479 --> 01:51:12,280
Speaker 3: show when I said it's coming from somewhere, you just

2181
01:51:12,320 --> 01:51:14,639
Speaker 3: told U where it's coming from. Because you watched somebody

2182
01:51:14,800 --> 01:51:19,360
Speaker 3: manipulate sympathy or tears as a way of being a

2183
01:51:19,439 --> 01:51:23,240
Speaker 3: manipulator doesn't mean that applied to everybody and it do.

2184
01:51:24,040 --> 01:51:26,680
Speaker 7: I know, But I can't think this a pattern like

2185
01:51:27,080 --> 01:51:30,160
Speaker 7: in my like what is this person always coming to

2186
01:51:30,280 --> 01:51:34,720
Speaker 7: me crying, crying with no solution, or is this like

2187
01:51:35,120 --> 01:51:37,800
Speaker 7: you know, this person right now is really just down

2188
01:51:38,120 --> 01:51:40,120
Speaker 7: and they just need to hear, Like what is it

2189
01:51:40,280 --> 01:51:43,400
Speaker 7: like I pay attention to, I observe over a period

2190
01:51:43,400 --> 01:51:45,559
Speaker 7: of time. The first time somebody comes to me crying,

2191
01:51:45,800 --> 01:51:47,360
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna be like girl and I don't want

2192
01:51:47,400 --> 01:51:50,360
Speaker 7: to hit this sheet or you know, let's go find

2193
01:51:50,360 --> 01:51:51,000
Speaker 7: you another dollar.

2194
01:51:51,040 --> 01:51:52,000
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do that.

2195
01:51:52,240 --> 01:51:55,160
Speaker 7: But if I see that this is a continuous pattery

2196
01:51:55,880 --> 01:51:58,240
Speaker 7: that you could you do each and every time.

2197
01:51:58,479 --> 01:52:02,599
Speaker 3: Oh no, we not know, we're not gonna do that. Yeah,

2198
01:52:02,720 --> 01:52:05,960
Speaker 3: and see again, that's what I'm saying you, And that's fine.

2199
01:52:06,000 --> 01:52:08,920
Speaker 3: It just ain't your ministry says. And that's fine because

2200
01:52:08,960 --> 01:52:12,160
Speaker 3: it's about It's about You're very clear about that. It's

2201
01:52:12,200 --> 01:52:16,759
Speaker 3: about you. It's about how you want to give the information,

2202
01:52:16,840 --> 01:52:19,679
Speaker 3: receive information, your limited capacity to hear what they're saying.

2203
01:52:19,680 --> 01:52:21,519
Speaker 3: Because see, when somebody coming to me with a problem,

2204
01:52:21,800 --> 01:52:23,160
Speaker 3: I don't look at it as we ain't about to

2205
01:52:23,200 --> 01:52:24,920
Speaker 3: do that. It has nothing to do with me. I

2206
01:52:25,000 --> 01:52:27,040
Speaker 3: can literally listen to whatever you're going through and not

2207
01:52:27,120 --> 01:52:30,000
Speaker 3: take it on personally. I don't feel slighted or my

2208
01:52:30,120 --> 01:52:32,040
Speaker 3: time is wasted, or I ain't got time of it.

2209
01:52:32,120 --> 01:52:34,160
Speaker 3: She ain't gonna listen to me, no way. I don't

2210
01:52:34,160 --> 01:52:36,719
Speaker 3: feel like I gotta control the outcome of their situation.

2211
01:52:37,240 --> 01:52:39,360
Speaker 3: I know how to literally just listen to somebody and

2212
01:52:39,560 --> 01:52:45,120
Speaker 3: take nothing personal by it at all. That's that's operating

2213
01:52:45,200 --> 01:52:47,840
Speaker 3: in true empathy. I don't have to feel I have

2214
01:52:47,920 --> 01:52:50,920
Speaker 3: to control the narrative of how that turns out because

2215
01:52:50,960 --> 01:52:53,200
Speaker 3: you wasted my time to come tell me. A lot

2216
01:52:53,240 --> 01:52:55,040
Speaker 3: of women do that. Don't come tell me about them.

2217
01:52:55,040 --> 01:52:56,760
Speaker 3: You ain't gonna change it no way, so could stop

2218
01:52:56,800 --> 01:52:58,679
Speaker 3: telling me. And then when this woman's slit the wrists

2219
01:52:58,720 --> 01:53:00,680
Speaker 3: and jump off the bridge or do whatever, she has

2220
01:53:00,760 --> 01:53:04,280
Speaker 3: no place to land because everybody around her has made

2221
01:53:04,280 --> 01:53:06,760
Speaker 3: it about them and not about her. And that's how

2222
01:53:06,800 --> 01:53:11,599
Speaker 3: most people think, by the way, Yeah, most people think

2223
01:53:11,600 --> 01:53:13,240
Speaker 3: about how, what, how it would make you feel, not

2224
01:53:13,280 --> 01:53:16,120
Speaker 3: about what I'm give me some tips, give me. It

2225
01:53:16,200 --> 01:53:17,120
Speaker 3: ain't no ministreet.

2226
01:53:18,800 --> 01:53:20,880
Speaker 1: When somebody want something, what you.

2227
01:53:20,880 --> 01:53:30,840
Speaker 6: Would probably say, here's one of the things that you

2228
01:53:30,920 --> 01:53:33,800
Speaker 6: can do. You just simply say, how can I support you?

2229
01:53:34,120 --> 01:53:40,519
Speaker 3: No? What is you know? No support? You ain't been

2230
01:53:40,600 --> 01:53:43,800
Speaker 3: listening the whole time, and only need to be get

2231
01:53:43,880 --> 01:53:48,439
Speaker 3: somebody else to do. Already told you if you don't

2232
01:53:48,439 --> 01:53:51,400
Speaker 3: want a solution, she ain't got time for about saying

2233
01:53:51,439 --> 01:53:53,240
Speaker 3: she ain't got time for She don't know want to

2234
01:53:53,280 --> 01:53:57,439
Speaker 3: support them because support listen, kay. One and only tip

2235
01:53:57,640 --> 01:54:00,960
Speaker 3: is get somebody else else, old friends who she got,

2236
01:54:01,000 --> 01:54:03,200
Speaker 3: a parent she can tell I wouldn't let her take

2237
01:54:03,200 --> 01:54:08,560
Speaker 3: a chance with that, but anybody else, that's all he

2238
01:54:08,800 --> 01:54:12,200
Speaker 3: needs to do. Want them.

2239
01:54:12,479 --> 01:54:14,040
Speaker 7: I don't want them to I don't want to say,

2240
01:54:14,120 --> 01:54:15,760
Speaker 7: get somebody else. To do it, and when they get

2241
01:54:15,800 --> 01:54:17,920
Speaker 7: out the phone me they slip like.

2242
01:54:18,880 --> 01:54:20,439
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what to tell them.

2243
01:54:25,400 --> 01:54:27,040
Speaker 1: At least you aren't encouraging them to do it, and

2244
01:54:27,160 --> 01:54:29,040
Speaker 1: you should be as long as you'll tell.

2245
01:54:29,000 --> 01:54:31,920
Speaker 3: Them do it because I'm gonnabout it. It definitely ain't

2246
01:54:31,960 --> 01:54:35,760
Speaker 3: your ministry there. Don't want them to want to talk

2247
01:54:35,800 --> 01:54:37,080
Speaker 3: to you about it, and you take your cut out

2248
01:54:37,080 --> 01:54:38,320
Speaker 3: all their crime. We need to go get a dog,

2249
01:54:38,440 --> 01:54:41,440
Speaker 3: and then they feel judged and they feel shamed and

2250
01:54:41,560 --> 01:54:44,120
Speaker 3: they can't know it's too important. So just say you

2251
01:54:44,200 --> 01:54:47,120
Speaker 3: know what, baby, I this how you do it. I'm

2252
01:54:47,200 --> 01:54:51,680
Speaker 3: not working I am working on how better sports system

2253
01:54:52,160 --> 01:54:54,800
Speaker 3: and in this moment, I'm not that.

2254
01:54:56,800 --> 01:54:57,320
Speaker 1: You know, and I.

2255
01:54:58,800 --> 01:55:01,920
Speaker 7: Can agree like for real, that is something like just

2256
01:55:02,120 --> 01:55:07,080
Speaker 7: tapping into my emotional I'm somebody that think my way

2257
01:55:07,200 --> 01:55:10,800
Speaker 7: through things instead of feeling my way through things, and

2258
01:55:10,920 --> 01:55:14,120
Speaker 7: that is something that I'm working to, uh, you.

2259
01:55:14,160 --> 01:55:17,160
Speaker 3: Know, and see cominize. The whole thing that I want

2260
01:55:17,200 --> 01:55:19,640
Speaker 3: you to get is it ain't about you. So that's

2261
01:55:19,680 --> 01:55:21,520
Speaker 3: what you keep talking about you see you? And if

2262
01:55:21,600 --> 01:55:23,240
Speaker 3: I if I can't do it for me, then I

2263
01:55:23,320 --> 01:55:25,760
Speaker 3: can't do it for other people. You don't even you

2264
01:55:25,880 --> 01:55:28,000
Speaker 3: missing a case. I don't need you doing it for nobody.

2265
01:55:29,640 --> 01:55:31,120
Speaker 3: This is where you keep missing it. You keep thinking

2266
01:55:31,240 --> 01:55:33,200
Speaker 3: you're supposed to be solving a problem. No, if I'm

2267
01:55:33,240 --> 01:55:34,600
Speaker 3: coming to you, it ain't for you to be doing

2268
01:55:34,640 --> 01:55:35,280
Speaker 3: it for nobody.

2269
01:55:35,600 --> 01:55:39,080
Speaker 7: No, right, So what I'm saying says what I'm saying

2270
01:55:39,240 --> 01:55:44,240
Speaker 7: is that if I don't have this like big empathy

2271
01:55:44,440 --> 01:55:47,480
Speaker 7: for my for my own feelings and what I like

2272
01:55:47,600 --> 01:55:51,160
Speaker 7: if I'm crying, I cannot have this big empathy for

2273
01:55:51,320 --> 01:55:54,360
Speaker 7: somebody else that I can't do it myself. So that's

2274
01:55:54,440 --> 01:55:56,800
Speaker 7: why I said, I need to work on having showing

2275
01:55:56,960 --> 01:56:00,880
Speaker 7: on empathy and capassions towards myself and I can give

2276
01:56:00,960 --> 01:56:02,760
Speaker 7: it too, so I can help out with.

2277
01:56:02,920 --> 01:56:06,880
Speaker 3: Okay, right, that's what I'll say. Because somebody along the way,

2278
01:56:07,240 --> 01:56:10,800
Speaker 3: you didn't just pop up this way we said a

2279
01:56:10,840 --> 01:56:13,440
Speaker 3: minute ago, a little white when we were saying, well

2280
01:56:13,520 --> 01:56:15,600
Speaker 3: where do we go wrong? No? No, no, right, you

2281
01:56:15,680 --> 01:56:18,960
Speaker 3: went wrong. Somebody as a child way told you cut

2282
01:56:19,000 --> 01:56:22,520
Speaker 3: out all their crime, told you stand up what you're

2283
01:56:22,520 --> 01:56:26,120
Speaker 3: crying for. Somebody did that. Like I said, my mother

2284
01:56:26,240 --> 01:56:30,160
Speaker 3: was not well, my grandma passed or when her my

2285
01:56:30,280 --> 01:56:33,360
Speaker 3: mother's best friend passed away and I was crying and

2286
01:56:33,480 --> 01:56:34,680
Speaker 3: she was like, what are you doing all that for?

2287
01:56:34,760 --> 01:56:36,760
Speaker 3: Because I was I'm very emotional when it comes to that,

2288
01:56:36,800 --> 01:56:38,320
Speaker 3: and she's like, what doing Because my mother was not

2289
01:56:38,400 --> 01:56:40,720
Speaker 3: a big crier, which is why the empathy that I

2290
01:56:40,800 --> 01:56:43,400
Speaker 3: showed now with the federal workers when I heard my

2291
01:56:43,520 --> 01:56:46,760
Speaker 3: mother have weakness because she was not a crier. So

2292
01:56:46,840 --> 01:56:49,840
Speaker 3: when she was like, I don't feel like why am

2293
01:56:49,880 --> 01:56:52,800
Speaker 3: I still living? That was very shocking to me because

2294
01:56:52,800 --> 01:56:55,120
Speaker 3: She's always been in a position of strength, you know,

2295
01:56:56,040 --> 01:56:58,640
Speaker 3: I've never seen any weakness. So it has me even

2296
01:56:58,720 --> 01:57:01,720
Speaker 3: have more empathy now because watching her go through that,

2297
01:57:01,840 --> 01:57:03,720
Speaker 3: I can only imagine how many other people are going

2298
01:57:03,760 --> 01:57:06,400
Speaker 3: through that but don't have nobody to call because every

2299
01:57:06,440 --> 01:57:08,880
Speaker 3: time they call, K tell them cut out all that

2300
01:57:09,000 --> 01:57:11,520
Speaker 3: damn crying and you go get to a solution and

2301
01:57:11,600 --> 01:57:15,280
Speaker 3: you needed this. So I emphasized with him because of

2302
01:57:15,360 --> 01:57:17,720
Speaker 3: that people my mother was the same way. But I

2303
01:57:17,840 --> 01:57:22,200
Speaker 3: am grateful that I had balance somebody that did cry

2304
01:57:22,400 --> 01:57:26,080
Speaker 3: with me. Yeah, and even though Aisha was teased for

2305
01:57:26,160 --> 01:57:28,360
Speaker 3: crying all the time her husband, I had to work

2306
01:57:28,400 --> 01:57:29,920
Speaker 3: with Icehua like twenty years of finally get her to

2307
01:57:29,920 --> 01:57:31,480
Speaker 3: stop crying because she was one of the ones. She's

2308
01:57:31,600 --> 01:57:33,760
Speaker 3: very emotional, you know when she gets upset. You know

2309
01:57:33,760 --> 01:57:35,280
Speaker 3: how people say when I get upset, I cried, And

2310
01:57:35,280 --> 01:57:36,400
Speaker 3: I was like, no, you got to work on that.

2311
01:57:36,480 --> 01:57:37,920
Speaker 3: You got to learn how to especially when you're talking

2312
01:57:37,960 --> 01:57:40,000
Speaker 3: to men, you have to learn how to articulate your

2313
01:57:40,080 --> 01:57:42,440
Speaker 3: thoughts without breaking down crying because they see it as

2314
01:57:42,440 --> 01:57:45,839
Speaker 3: a weakness, even though it's lotet that way. So sometime

2315
01:57:45,880 --> 01:57:47,560
Speaker 3: and she even say this day, she's like, do I

2316
01:57:47,680 --> 01:57:49,560
Speaker 3: thank you for like teaching me how to you know,

2317
01:57:49,680 --> 01:57:54,120
Speaker 3: get through conversation without crying. But it took a decade

2318
01:57:54,200 --> 01:57:56,400
Speaker 3: to get her to that. I wasn't coming. She still

2319
01:57:56,480 --> 01:57:58,160
Speaker 3: had to be comfortable enough to come to me in

2320
01:57:58,320 --> 01:58:02,760
Speaker 3: the tears. Yeah, with her, to have the patience, because

2321
01:58:02,800 --> 01:58:06,280
Speaker 3: patience is love and kind and gentle and understanding and

2322
01:58:06,560 --> 01:58:10,560
Speaker 3: it's not wrap, it's not anger. It takes time to

2323
01:58:10,800 --> 01:58:13,960
Speaker 3: get you to that. And so I can't ever get

2324
01:58:14,040 --> 01:58:16,840
Speaker 3: her to that if she immediately all the g because

2325
01:58:17,120 --> 01:58:19,520
Speaker 3: she's still gonna cry with without me. The question is,

2326
01:58:19,560 --> 01:58:21,320
Speaker 3: are you're gonna be the soft space that she knows

2327
01:58:21,360 --> 01:58:23,760
Speaker 3: she can and and like you said, like you've admitted,

2328
01:58:23,800 --> 01:58:26,680
Speaker 3: which I think is awesome, Like that that's not where

2329
01:58:26,680 --> 01:58:27,560
Speaker 3: I'm at with it right now.

2330
01:58:28,400 --> 01:58:31,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, and I'm the oldest child too, so you know,

2331
01:58:32,400 --> 01:58:38,000
Speaker 7: I always had to protect like protext period, like be

2332
01:58:38,240 --> 01:58:42,760
Speaker 7: the one that's my self my younger siblings come to

2333
01:58:43,440 --> 01:58:48,200
Speaker 7: or whatever. And I ain't never really had nobody advocate

2334
01:58:48,280 --> 01:58:49,480
Speaker 7: for me, so I always got it.

2335
01:58:49,560 --> 01:58:51,440
Speaker 3: I'm the only child, so welcome to the club. So

2336
01:58:51,600 --> 01:58:56,040
Speaker 3: I'm only older standing of no younger standing of no nothing,

2337
01:58:56,160 --> 01:58:59,200
Speaker 3: nothing whatever. So end of the day, I've always been

2338
01:58:59,280 --> 01:59:01,800
Speaker 3: the one fight I've ever had has been on somebody

2339
01:59:01,920 --> 01:59:04,160
Speaker 3: like that. I literally I haven't had anybody one time

2340
01:59:04,200 --> 01:59:06,560
Speaker 3: Carla Cooper in the sixth grade. Other than that, every

2341
01:59:06,600 --> 01:59:09,320
Speaker 3: single fight that I've always had has always been for

2342
01:59:09,560 --> 01:59:12,920
Speaker 3: my friends always. So I'm gonna pull a k on k.

2343
01:59:13,080 --> 01:59:13,760
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear that.

2344
01:59:15,000 --> 01:59:15,600
Speaker 1: I don't hear that.

2345
01:59:16,880 --> 01:59:21,600
Speaker 3: That's yeah, No, that's k Yeah, I don't care sad

2346
01:59:21,720 --> 01:59:23,720
Speaker 3: song about being No, I'm pulling you on you. I

2347
01:59:23,760 --> 01:59:25,320
Speaker 3: don't want to hear no sad song about you being

2348
01:59:25,360 --> 01:59:33,160
Speaker 3: the oldest anybody helping me either case. So you didn't

2349
01:59:33,160 --> 01:59:35,160
Speaker 3: want to cry about it, you cry about it. But

2350
01:59:35,240 --> 01:59:36,720
Speaker 3: if you didn't want to cry about I'll let you

2351
01:59:36,800 --> 01:59:41,560
Speaker 3: cry about it. I ain't about it because it do.

2352
01:59:42,200 --> 01:59:45,840
Speaker 3: It is fucked up when people it do hurt to

2353
01:59:46,000 --> 01:59:48,320
Speaker 3: know that. Okay, so you don't know if I'm dead

2354
01:59:48,440 --> 01:59:48,800
Speaker 3: or alive.

2355
01:59:49,240 --> 01:59:49,600
Speaker 1: You don't know.

2356
01:59:50,000 --> 01:59:52,280
Speaker 3: Got a burden I'm taking on. You don't know what's

2357
01:59:52,360 --> 01:59:54,360
Speaker 3: going on. That's why when people when you're asking what

2358
01:59:54,400 --> 01:59:56,040
Speaker 3: do you do the ground yourself ship, I don't know.

2359
01:59:56,960 --> 01:59:59,640
Speaker 3: I literally don't have an answer because I not only

2360
01:59:59,720 --> 02:00:02,040
Speaker 3: do I take on the burden for my family, I

2361
02:00:02,160 --> 02:00:04,120
Speaker 3: take on what I feel the burden for the community.

2362
02:00:04,360 --> 02:00:07,600
Speaker 3: And more people are pulling from me than pouring into me. Yeah,

2363
02:00:08,200 --> 02:00:09,960
Speaker 3: don't worry about I cry enough for me and you.

2364
02:00:10,360 --> 02:00:12,160
Speaker 3: It's still hurt. It still don't mean I don't have

2365
02:00:12,240 --> 02:00:14,880
Speaker 3: a solution. It's still I'm gonna get up the next

2366
02:00:15,000 --> 02:00:17,440
Speaker 3: day and still fight. It don't make me weak, but

2367
02:00:17,560 --> 02:00:19,600
Speaker 3: I am acknowledging. That's why I said I would write

2368
02:00:19,600 --> 02:00:21,920
Speaker 3: a book on how to love a revolutionary because people

2369
02:00:22,000 --> 02:00:24,480
Speaker 3: don't know you partner with me, love me, be a

2370
02:00:24,600 --> 02:00:26,960
Speaker 3: friend to me, of course my friend. You know, AI

2371
02:00:27,040 --> 02:00:30,680
Speaker 3: shan't tammy do overall. You literally don't know what to

2372
02:00:30,760 --> 02:00:32,720
Speaker 3: do with me. You don't know what to do with

2373
02:00:32,960 --> 02:00:36,520
Speaker 3: a revolutionary because you just assumed, like you said, tis

2374
02:00:36,520 --> 02:00:38,920
Speaker 3: you don't really give that. No, I don't, but damn

2375
02:00:39,000 --> 02:00:44,840
Speaker 3: my break too too. That shit hurt me too. That's

2376
02:00:44,880 --> 02:00:47,040
Speaker 3: why the post y'all saw I did with Jesselariy's the

2377
02:00:47,040 --> 02:00:50,400
Speaker 3: other day, jess ain't did nampost. I did that because

2378
02:00:50,440 --> 02:00:52,360
Speaker 3: that was just the right thing to do. I see,

2379
02:00:52,400 --> 02:00:55,280
Speaker 3: I don't set myself based on well, what somebody else

2380
02:00:55,280 --> 02:00:58,360
Speaker 3: would do. Jesselarious follows six people on Instagram and all

2381
02:00:58,440 --> 02:01:01,920
Speaker 3: of them are hurt. All of them are her brand.

2382
02:01:03,280 --> 02:01:05,840
Speaker 3: So me stepping out and saying, Jess, I want you

2383
02:01:05,920 --> 02:01:08,000
Speaker 3: to know that you're not by yourself. She wouldn't have

2384
02:01:08,080 --> 02:01:13,080
Speaker 3: did that publicly with me, but that's called righteousness when

2385
02:01:13,120 --> 02:01:16,720
Speaker 3: you own somebody hurting. And I know what our private

2386
02:01:16,760 --> 02:01:19,600
Speaker 3: conversations have been. She has called on me personally to

2387
02:01:19,720 --> 02:01:24,240
Speaker 3: check on me. So righteousness tells me that when somebody's

2388
02:01:24,280 --> 02:01:29,680
Speaker 3: standing by themselves crying on the air and Charlotta magney

2389
02:01:29,760 --> 02:01:34,400
Speaker 3: en be laughing, yeah, as strong as Jesse. It's just

2390
02:01:34,560 --> 02:01:36,840
Speaker 3: damn show, don't give off, crybaby. But I know what

2391
02:01:36,960 --> 02:01:40,520
Speaker 3: she been through, so my empathy allows me to step

2392
02:01:40,600 --> 02:01:42,880
Speaker 3: in and say, hey girl, you ain't crying by yourself today.

2393
02:01:43,600 --> 02:01:45,840
Speaker 3: Even if she don't acknowledge it, even if she don't

2394
02:01:45,840 --> 02:01:47,800
Speaker 3: say nothing about it, even if I know she can't

2395
02:01:47,840 --> 02:01:49,960
Speaker 3: click like or share it or added to her page.

2396
02:01:50,400 --> 02:01:55,200
Speaker 3: Righteousness true empathy. And when I say righteousness doesn't mean perfect,

2397
02:01:55,280 --> 02:01:59,080
Speaker 3: it means standing in a rightful position of justice, what

2398
02:01:59,320 --> 02:02:01,640
Speaker 3: is right and what is wrong. That is the greatest

2399
02:02:01,680 --> 02:02:04,400
Speaker 3: empathy of all. It is the empathy that Christ gave us.

2400
02:02:04,400 --> 02:02:05,880
Speaker 3: If you will believe, if you believe, he died on

2401
02:02:05,960 --> 02:02:09,520
Speaker 3: the cross, it's the greatest empathy of all, giving up yourself.

2402
02:02:10,240 --> 02:02:12,440
Speaker 3: Not what you would do, how you would do it.

2403
02:02:13,200 --> 02:02:14,920
Speaker 3: He was already gonna make it up in a sin

2404
02:02:15,040 --> 02:02:16,560
Speaker 3: to his father. He didn't have to die for us.

2405
02:02:18,560 --> 02:02:22,640
Speaker 3: So true empathy has nothing to do with self, nothing

2406
02:02:22,720 --> 02:02:23,040
Speaker 3: at all.

2407
02:02:25,880 --> 02:02:26,720
Speaker 1: That's my message.

2408
02:02:28,080 --> 02:02:32,240
Speaker 3: But y'all, this was wonderful. This is why the Sunday

2409
02:02:32,280 --> 02:02:35,840
Speaker 3: show gonna be so live. I appreciate everybody for coming

2410
02:02:35,880 --> 02:02:39,280
Speaker 3: on DFW. If you're still here, don't think he's here.

2411
02:02:39,400 --> 02:02:41,440
Speaker 3: I think he has a podcast, so y'all go follow him.

2412
02:02:41,480 --> 02:02:44,400
Speaker 3: He had his background with the podcast. Man, I love you,

2413
02:02:44,520 --> 02:02:47,320
Speaker 3: k I love this. This is good, good, good good stuff.

2414
02:02:47,520 --> 02:02:49,360
Speaker 3: I'll be talking y'all in the comments all time, so

2415
02:02:49,440 --> 02:02:52,360
Speaker 3: it's always cool. We ain't talking one on one. We're

2416
02:02:52,400 --> 02:02:54,840
Speaker 3: gonna start on Sunday nights. I was behind this week.

2417
02:02:54,840 --> 02:02:58,280
Speaker 3: We're doing two shows every week. Sunday is where we're

2418
02:02:58,320 --> 02:03:00,400
Speaker 3: doing this, where we can you know, people can come

2419
02:03:00,440 --> 02:03:02,000
Speaker 3: in on the zone and talk about it because this

2420
02:03:02,080 --> 02:03:04,680
Speaker 3: was good stuff. I appreciate you k and your vulnerability

2421
02:03:05,800 --> 02:03:09,920
Speaker 3: or transparency like sharing yourself. And also it's always good

2422
02:03:09,960 --> 02:03:13,280
Speaker 3: when people can hear women, especially black women, have a

2423
02:03:13,400 --> 02:03:17,040
Speaker 3: conversation of workshopping and trying to you know, speak it

2424
02:03:17,120 --> 02:03:20,000
Speaker 3: out Black men as well. I'm glad Cliff and Marcella's

2425
02:03:20,000 --> 02:03:21,720
Speaker 3: and DVD. I'm glad y'all was on the call too.

2426
02:03:22,000 --> 02:03:25,880
Speaker 3: But I especially get happy when, especially too strong women,

2427
02:03:26,120 --> 02:03:28,520
Speaker 3: when they can hear that because they got to see that, because,

2428
02:03:28,800 --> 02:03:30,760
Speaker 3: like Cliff said, a lot of this is the undoing.

2429
02:03:33,040 --> 02:03:33,320
Speaker 1: We know.

2430
02:03:34,000 --> 02:03:36,080
Speaker 3: Oh black women can't get no women talk. They all

2431
02:03:36,200 --> 02:03:40,720
Speaker 3: know everything now. Really we just want support with each other. Really,

2432
02:03:40,800 --> 02:03:42,680
Speaker 3: we just want to be heard. Even the strong ones

2433
02:03:43,960 --> 02:03:46,640
Speaker 3: want to be just okay, you want to know you

2434
02:03:46,800 --> 02:03:49,600
Speaker 3: have voice. Let me give you this to that before

2435
02:03:49,640 --> 02:03:52,480
Speaker 3: we get out of here. Oh the Lord just gave

2436
02:03:52,520 --> 02:03:54,000
Speaker 3: me this when y'all put a five in the chat

2437
02:03:54,040 --> 02:03:57,960
Speaker 3: even though the chat ain't open. I remember when Kay said,

2438
02:03:59,000 --> 02:04:01,160
Speaker 3: when they come to me, they need to already know

2439
02:04:02,880 --> 02:04:05,480
Speaker 3: y'all mean when Kate said that she did look at

2440
02:04:05,520 --> 02:04:10,320
Speaker 3: Marcella he loved. If one thing Marsella gonna do, he

2441
02:04:10,440 --> 02:04:11,720
Speaker 3: gonna remind you what you said.

2442
02:04:12,160 --> 02:04:12,600
Speaker 1: Thank you.

2443
02:04:13,400 --> 02:04:15,040
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something, Kay, this is what the

2444
02:04:15,120 --> 02:04:18,560
Speaker 3: Lord want me to tell you. Okay, when you and

2445
02:04:18,640 --> 02:04:20,480
Speaker 3: I and you have acknowledged that you want to work

2446
02:04:20,520 --> 02:04:21,840
Speaker 3: on it. So I'm not telling you that you have

2447
02:04:21,960 --> 02:04:23,400
Speaker 3: not made that knowledge, but I want to tell you

2448
02:04:23,680 --> 02:04:26,480
Speaker 3: or just told me to tell you. When you came

2449
02:04:26,560 --> 02:04:29,840
Speaker 3: on this Live and I said, Kay, what do you

2450
02:04:29,880 --> 02:04:32,040
Speaker 3: want to talk about? And you said, I don't know

2451
02:04:33,520 --> 02:04:38,320
Speaker 3: what if I operated? And you operated and said, Kay,

2452
02:04:38,800 --> 02:04:41,760
Speaker 3: if you don't know why you clicked live, if you

2453
02:04:41,840 --> 02:04:43,760
Speaker 3: don't know why you came on the zoom, when I

2454
02:04:43,840 --> 02:04:45,440
Speaker 3: clearly said, if you got something to say, come on

2455
02:04:45,520 --> 02:04:48,240
Speaker 3: the zoom. If you don't know why you're here, I'm

2456
02:04:48,280 --> 02:04:50,760
Speaker 3: gonna drop you off the call. Because they actually put

2457
02:04:50,800 --> 02:04:52,240
Speaker 3: that on some of the Twitter spaces. They say, if

2458
02:04:52,280 --> 02:04:55,360
Speaker 3: you ain't got none to say, they drop you your voice,

2459
02:04:55,640 --> 02:04:59,120
Speaker 3: even when you had nothing to say, Praise God. Even

2460
02:04:59,200 --> 02:05:01,520
Speaker 3: when you didn't know what you have to say, your

2461
02:05:01,640 --> 02:05:03,560
Speaker 3: voice was important enough for me to leave you on

2462
02:05:03,640 --> 02:05:06,320
Speaker 3: his zoom. You said, I'm a sit her, and I'm

2463
02:05:06,320 --> 02:05:09,280
Speaker 3: gonna think about it. When I have something to say,

2464
02:05:09,320 --> 02:05:16,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say. See, empathy doesn't put restrictions in guidelines

2465
02:05:16,360 --> 02:05:19,880
Speaker 3: and rules. It said that Kay is important enough because

2466
02:05:19,960 --> 02:05:23,880
Speaker 3: God had it for her to click the lives. She

2467
02:05:24,080 --> 02:05:26,800
Speaker 3: came in the room saying, tells them I got something

2468
02:05:26,800 --> 02:05:28,960
Speaker 3: to say, but I don't know yet what it is.

2469
02:05:30,120 --> 02:05:32,200
Speaker 3: But see, God tells me that if she's here, she's

2470
02:05:32,240 --> 02:05:34,000
Speaker 3: here for a reason. Tells them, let us sit there

2471
02:05:34,000 --> 02:05:36,200
Speaker 3: in the corner til she get her thoughts together. Let

2472
02:05:36,320 --> 02:05:37,760
Speaker 3: us sit there in the corner till she know what

2473
02:05:37,880 --> 02:05:39,480
Speaker 3: it is. Let us sit there in the corner. She

2474
02:05:39,560 --> 02:05:41,360
Speaker 3: may not have none at all to say. But if

2475
02:05:41,400 --> 02:05:44,960
Speaker 3: this woman clicked this with three hundred people listening, and

2476
02:05:45,080 --> 02:05:47,200
Speaker 3: you clicked it, he must have wanted you in the

2477
02:05:47,280 --> 02:05:51,000
Speaker 3: room for a reason. So consider that. Consider that when

2478
02:05:51,040 --> 02:05:53,120
Speaker 3: somebody's coming to you, they're coming you for a reason.

2479
02:05:53,320 --> 02:05:56,000
Speaker 3: They may not know if they want your help or

2480
02:05:56,320 --> 02:05:58,320
Speaker 3: if they just want to listen. They may not know,

2481
02:05:58,360 --> 02:06:00,640
Speaker 3: O kay, just like you didn't know, but you were

2482
02:06:00,760 --> 02:06:04,760
Speaker 3: valuable enough to me for me to just sit there

2483
02:06:04,800 --> 02:06:09,120
Speaker 3: and look at your beautiful face. That's how we have

2484
02:06:09,320 --> 02:06:11,520
Speaker 3: to allow. When we say make space for each other,

2485
02:06:11,920 --> 02:06:15,280
Speaker 3: that's what mean, literally make space. You didn't have it.

2486
02:06:15,400 --> 02:06:17,280
Speaker 3: You didn't take the camera. I told everybody you can

2487
02:06:17,360 --> 02:06:19,040
Speaker 3: turn the camera off. You don't want a camera. You

2488
02:06:19,120 --> 02:06:21,360
Speaker 3: got the camera sitting up there with literally nothing to say.

2489
02:06:21,560 --> 02:06:25,040
Speaker 3: But you were that important baby, and whoever made you

2490
02:06:25,160 --> 02:06:29,680
Speaker 3: feel that you were not That's what that is. When

2491
02:06:29,720 --> 02:06:32,040
Speaker 3: we grow up and somebody say, when my grandfather said

2492
02:06:32,040 --> 02:06:33,560
Speaker 3: to me, be quiet, you talking too much? Da da

2493
02:06:33,600 --> 02:06:35,920
Speaker 3: da da quit out there crying to that that as

2494
02:06:36,000 --> 02:06:39,080
Speaker 3: little girls, somebody told us that we that how we

2495
02:06:39,320 --> 02:06:44,240
Speaker 3: felt in the moment wasn't important enough, and they shut

2496
02:06:44,320 --> 02:06:47,200
Speaker 3: us down. And that's why I act. That's why I

2497
02:06:47,320 --> 02:06:50,440
Speaker 3: do the activism that I do because a friend now

2498
02:06:50,440 --> 02:06:52,520
Speaker 3: that they said, well, when you were growing up, people

2499
02:06:52,640 --> 02:06:55,240
Speaker 3: was praying for you, and people was in rooms that

2500
02:06:55,320 --> 02:06:56,840
Speaker 3: you didn't know, and they were saying, let us talk.

2501
02:06:56,920 --> 02:06:58,400
Speaker 3: I said, no, no, no, black that was never it.

2502
02:06:58,520 --> 02:07:00,480
Speaker 3: You don't know what you're talking about. It was always

2503
02:07:00,520 --> 02:07:02,760
Speaker 3: somebody telling me to shut up. That's why I'm so passionate.

2504
02:07:03,680 --> 02:07:06,520
Speaker 3: It wasn't people cheering me on. It wasn't somebody saying,

2505
02:07:06,520 --> 02:07:08,840
Speaker 3: on leave law, she's a dope person. Oh no, no, no,

2506
02:07:09,040 --> 02:07:11,080
Speaker 3: the clip up. I told Black that might be what

2507
02:07:11,240 --> 02:07:14,800
Speaker 3: you thought it was, but it actually was the opposite.

2508
02:07:15,160 --> 02:07:18,680
Speaker 3: And that's why I operate the way I do. That's

2509
02:07:18,720 --> 02:07:20,440
Speaker 3: why I have k just sit on here with nothing

2510
02:07:20,480 --> 02:07:22,560
Speaker 3: to say. That's why Charlott Mane, who don't have no

2511
02:07:22,640 --> 02:07:25,560
Speaker 3: empathy will say let's discuss in the comments, but never

2512
02:07:25,680 --> 02:07:30,120
Speaker 3: talking the comments. I validate people all the time, even

2513
02:07:30,160 --> 02:07:32,560
Speaker 3: if I'm cussing somebody out. You're gonna get validated today,

2514
02:07:32,680 --> 02:07:36,280
Speaker 3: just ain't in a way. I'm definitely gonna notice your

2515
02:07:37,040 --> 02:07:41,280
Speaker 3: I'm definitely I'm definitely gonna give you space. That's why

2516
02:07:41,280 --> 02:07:43,720
Speaker 3: I don't care about millions of followers and whole bunch

2517
02:07:43,760 --> 02:07:45,160
Speaker 3: of people and all that. I don't care about that

2518
02:07:45,160 --> 02:07:46,440
Speaker 3: because I want to be able to touch you and

2519
02:07:46,520 --> 02:07:49,080
Speaker 3: feel you and hear you and all of that. Marcella's

2520
02:07:49,160 --> 02:07:53,160
Speaker 3: came from the comments. I hared Marcella's from the comments

2521
02:07:53,560 --> 02:07:55,920
Speaker 3: because he was an active commenter, and I was like,

2522
02:07:56,200 --> 02:07:58,400
Speaker 3: first time I get a chance to hire him do something.

2523
02:07:59,120 --> 02:08:01,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna bring him me. I didn't say, well, you

2524
02:08:01,720 --> 02:08:05,480
Speaker 3: need to be have produced experience. Marcella's was doing overeats.

2525
02:08:06,400 --> 02:08:09,520
Speaker 3: He helps me produce all my shows. I didn't tell him, well,

2526
02:08:09,520 --> 02:08:11,640
Speaker 3: you need to have produce experience, and you need to

2527
02:08:11,680 --> 02:08:13,440
Speaker 3: learn how to edit. You need to learn how to

2528
02:08:13,520 --> 02:08:17,960
Speaker 3: make clips, I said, Marcel, you can still teach people. Marcella's, Hey,

2529
02:08:18,160 --> 02:08:20,240
Speaker 3: you need to learn how to step it up. I'm learning.

2530
02:08:20,280 --> 02:08:21,120
Speaker 3: I'm figuring it out.

2531
02:08:21,560 --> 02:08:22,200
Speaker 1: He figured out.

2532
02:08:22,280 --> 02:08:24,720
Speaker 3: Okay, I may not know how to use software, but

2533
02:08:24,760 --> 02:08:26,720
Speaker 3: I know how to screenshot it. I can screen, I

2534
02:08:26,760 --> 02:08:31,120
Speaker 3: can screen record and give you this clip. Hey, I

2535
02:08:31,240 --> 02:08:33,640
Speaker 3: may I may not know how to be a producer,

2536
02:08:33,720 --> 02:08:36,880
Speaker 3: but I know how to find these stories. I may

2537
02:08:36,960 --> 02:08:38,880
Speaker 3: not know how to do everything, but I know you

2538
02:08:38,960 --> 02:08:41,520
Speaker 3: can depend on me to be at that door. That's

2539
02:08:41,600 --> 02:08:44,480
Speaker 3: how we undo, how we find value in each other.

2540
02:08:45,160 --> 02:08:48,160
Speaker 3: Boodhis is a good one. It may not buy money,

2541
02:08:48,360 --> 02:08:51,600
Speaker 3: like when you said, it's something they have to offer. Yeah,

2542
02:08:52,160 --> 02:08:56,200
Speaker 3: so that's all, baby, When somebody's coming to you, think

2543
02:08:56,240 --> 02:08:59,400
Speaker 3: about this day. Let me just kind of sit back

2544
02:09:00,280 --> 02:09:05,640
Speaker 3: and let let if God brought them to you, let

2545
02:09:05,760 --> 02:09:08,880
Speaker 3: him use you, and he operates in a way that

2546
02:09:09,080 --> 02:09:13,400
Speaker 3: is not always through because that's sometime through chastisement and

2547
02:09:13,480 --> 02:09:16,720
Speaker 3: they really might need you in that moment, but until

2548
02:09:16,760 --> 02:09:19,840
Speaker 3: you get there, which I appreciate you knowledge acknowledging, I

2549
02:09:19,920 --> 02:09:23,320
Speaker 3: would let them know I'm not always the best with

2550
02:09:23,480 --> 02:09:25,960
Speaker 3: being a good listening ear. I do offer solutions. So

2551
02:09:26,080 --> 02:09:28,400
Speaker 3: if you tell me something, just no, I'm gonna give

2552
02:09:28,400 --> 02:09:31,080
Speaker 3: you solutions because I got to learn how to not

2553
02:09:31,360 --> 02:09:36,880
Speaker 3: do that. And by that alone, it's gonna open up

2554
02:09:36,920 --> 02:09:39,680
Speaker 3: a door. You know you're gonna touch on something, because

2555
02:09:39,680 --> 02:09:42,040
Speaker 3: that's really at the end of day. One of my

2556
02:09:42,120 --> 02:09:43,960
Speaker 3: girlfriends one of the strongest women I know and I

2557
02:09:44,000 --> 02:09:47,560
Speaker 3: won't say her name this personal business. And she's a

2558
02:09:47,640 --> 02:09:54,080
Speaker 3: colleague of mine, strongest, prettiest, most educated, very misunderstood in

2559
02:09:54,160 --> 02:10:00,800
Speaker 3: the media. If people knew her life, the abuse, the

2560
02:10:01,000 --> 02:10:05,840
Speaker 3: physical abuse that this beautiful woman had to tolerate. I've

2561
02:10:05,880 --> 02:10:10,640
Speaker 3: been the only soft space for her. She doesn't show

2562
02:10:10,640 --> 02:10:14,560
Speaker 3: her vulnerability to anybody because it's looked at as a weakness.

2563
02:10:16,120 --> 02:10:18,800
Speaker 3: And when she said tesling, all I ever wanted somebody

2564
02:10:18,920 --> 02:10:25,120
Speaker 3: to do was stand up for me. Why did nobody

2565
02:10:25,840 --> 02:10:30,840
Speaker 3: stand up for me? So when we were shot down

2566
02:10:30,920 --> 02:10:35,640
Speaker 3: as little girls. I'm grateful Grandma figure out stood up

2567
02:10:35,680 --> 02:10:40,480
Speaker 3: for me. Only had eleven years of my life. Oh

2568
02:10:40,600 --> 02:10:43,080
Speaker 3: my mama said, go home and eat and figure it out.

2569
02:10:43,120 --> 02:10:45,160
Speaker 3: You just need to figure it out. Grandma figure oes

2570
02:10:45,440 --> 02:10:47,840
Speaker 3: even she was tough too, but she said no. She

2571
02:10:48,000 --> 02:10:50,200
Speaker 3: was a bus driver. I'm gonna drive a bus and

2572
02:10:50,280 --> 02:10:52,320
Speaker 3: after I go park the bus, I'm gonna come over

2573
02:10:52,360 --> 02:10:54,120
Speaker 3: to your bus stop across town and I'm gonna give

2574
02:10:54,120 --> 02:10:55,920
Speaker 3: you a cheeseburger. You ain't got to figure it out today.

2575
02:10:55,920 --> 02:11:01,120
Speaker 3: I'm gonna figure it out for you. That balance. But

2576
02:11:01,840 --> 02:11:05,880
Speaker 3: I'm not dissing my mama for beating us because you

2577
02:11:06,000 --> 02:11:10,560
Speaker 3: better believe ass that I am. I wouldn't take that

2578
02:11:10,680 --> 02:11:13,800
Speaker 3: back from nothing in the world. So with my daughter gay,

2579
02:11:13,880 --> 02:11:18,000
Speaker 3: I try to, you know, balance that because that hard,

2580
02:11:18,160 --> 02:11:22,240
Speaker 3: not life that figure it out that all of that.

2581
02:11:22,680 --> 02:11:24,560
Speaker 3: That's also why when I had problems, I didn't go

2582
02:11:24,560 --> 02:11:25,000
Speaker 3: to my mother.

2583
02:11:25,000 --> 02:11:25,680
Speaker 1: I went to the hood.

2584
02:11:26,520 --> 02:11:29,800
Speaker 3: That's a dangerous thing. That's why y'all hear me talk

2585
02:11:29,800 --> 02:11:32,280
Speaker 3: about Spud a lot. When my car was wrecked and

2586
02:11:32,360 --> 02:11:35,040
Speaker 3: all of that, I went to Spug. But see, Spud

2587
02:11:35,240 --> 02:11:36,800
Speaker 3: just happened to be a good friend. That didn't take

2588
02:11:36,800 --> 02:11:39,360
Speaker 3: advantage of me. It don't work out like that with women.

2589
02:11:39,560 --> 02:11:42,320
Speaker 3: A lot of women get raped and beat and used

2590
02:11:42,360 --> 02:11:45,040
Speaker 3: for sex and prostitution and all of that because they're

2591
02:11:45,120 --> 02:11:48,040
Speaker 3: going to places that they can't come home to because

2592
02:11:48,080 --> 02:11:50,680
Speaker 3: they don't want to be judged, chastised all of that,

2593
02:11:51,000 --> 02:11:53,240
Speaker 3: so they just go and find it in other ways.

2594
02:11:53,520 --> 02:11:54,800
Speaker 3: A lot of two what our men. But I'm just

2595
02:11:54,800 --> 02:11:58,920
Speaker 3: talking about my personal experience. Most of the women that

2596
02:11:58,960 --> 02:12:00,600
Speaker 3: I know in the strip club that was the house

2597
02:12:00,680 --> 02:12:03,040
Speaker 3: mahum back then, I know the streets for real. I'm

2598
02:12:03,080 --> 02:12:04,880
Speaker 3: not one of these ones. Just be talking. I know

2599
02:12:05,000 --> 02:12:07,240
Speaker 3: the whole game. And most of the women that were

2600
02:12:07,320 --> 02:12:12,760
Speaker 3: there did not have soft places to land because they

2601
02:12:12,800 --> 02:12:14,920
Speaker 3: were told suck it up, figure it out. Nothing wrong

2602
02:12:15,000 --> 02:12:16,680
Speaker 3: being told suck it up and figure it out. But

2603
02:12:16,800 --> 02:12:21,560
Speaker 3: there still has to be a place, you know that

2604
02:12:21,720 --> 02:12:24,360
Speaker 3: some softness can be there. And Black women we struggle

2605
02:12:24,400 --> 02:12:26,360
Speaker 3: with that because we have not been allowed to be soft.

2606
02:12:27,480 --> 02:12:30,680
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, like our men not been allowed to be soft.

2607
02:12:31,880 --> 02:12:32,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

2608
02:12:33,200 --> 02:12:35,680
Speaker 3: So that's why. And when I say we got to

2609
02:12:35,760 --> 02:12:37,640
Speaker 3: keep working on the guys, I'm not talking about forty

2610
02:12:37,680 --> 02:12:40,600
Speaker 3: six million of us. I'm talking about in your own individuals. Yeah,

2611
02:12:41,080 --> 02:12:44,600
Speaker 3: five people, ten people you know in your own circle,

2612
02:12:45,560 --> 02:12:48,560
Speaker 3: because right now we are coming into a place where

2613
02:12:48,600 --> 02:12:53,080
Speaker 3: micro organized saitis I really am going to close micro organizing.

2614
02:12:53,640 --> 02:12:56,280
Speaker 3: We need each other and again not we not forty

2615
02:12:56,320 --> 02:12:59,280
Speaker 3: six million, like just literally your four or five people

2616
02:12:59,360 --> 02:13:01,960
Speaker 3: in your life, or go find a new tribe. It

2617
02:13:02,080 --> 02:13:04,280
Speaker 3: may not be the family may be so broken and

2618
02:13:04,360 --> 02:13:06,400
Speaker 3: so trauma that they can't be that for you and

2619
02:13:06,520 --> 02:13:08,880
Speaker 3: you can't get them to be that for you. But

2620
02:13:09,120 --> 02:13:13,160
Speaker 3: finding some type of tribe, even if it's this some

2621
02:13:13,400 --> 02:13:16,240
Speaker 3: type of pouring into you, if it's straight shot, no check. Okay,

2622
02:13:16,280 --> 02:13:18,440
Speaker 3: you watch all the reality show, but damn, y'all know,

2623
02:13:18,480 --> 02:13:20,040
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give it to you straight. I'm gonna table

2624
02:13:20,080 --> 02:13:23,560
Speaker 3: to it. But I'm alway in with some inspiration. I'm

2625
02:13:23,560 --> 02:13:25,560
Speaker 3: gonna inspire you some kind of way. I ain't just

2626
02:13:25,720 --> 02:13:30,680
Speaker 3: always going hard. They've been hard on us enough, right.

2627
02:13:30,960 --> 02:13:32,400
Speaker 3: They don't mean I ain't gonna tell you the truth.

2628
02:13:33,440 --> 02:13:36,120
Speaker 3: You damn sure don't get the straight But I don't

2629
02:13:36,120 --> 02:13:38,840
Speaker 3: think you're not here because I don't inspire. You ain't

2630
02:13:38,840 --> 02:13:40,840
Speaker 3: here looking for abuse. You're like tell us, no, you're

2631
02:13:40,840 --> 02:13:42,600
Speaker 3: gonna tell like it is you don't look like the

2632
02:13:42,680 --> 02:13:45,640
Speaker 3: type of crime you solution. Yeah, but you stick around

2633
02:13:45,720 --> 02:13:49,320
Speaker 3: for that other part too, the other part that say no, sis,

2634
02:13:49,400 --> 02:13:53,160
Speaker 3: you got it cause and then the day that's really

2635
02:13:53,200 --> 02:13:56,440
Speaker 3: what we're all craving. Yeah, the end of the day,

2636
02:13:56,480 --> 02:13:58,200
Speaker 3: that's that's all we And that's why I try to

2637
02:13:58,240 --> 02:14:01,200
Speaker 3: have balanced conversation. For clip to you believe to say, well,

2638
02:14:01,240 --> 02:14:04,160
Speaker 3: you know you can tell them. Then I say, noll, Cliff, okay,

2639
02:14:04,320 --> 02:14:06,200
Speaker 3: go by what I say, which get somebody else to do.

2640
02:14:06,440 --> 02:14:09,520
Speaker 3: But I like, I like the balance like that because

2641
02:14:09,560 --> 02:14:12,440
Speaker 3: you need to hear a cliff say that. You know

2642
02:14:12,480 --> 02:14:14,440
Speaker 3: what I mean. You need that, like we need we

2643
02:14:14,600 --> 02:14:17,520
Speaker 3: got a compartment, like we need all these different things.

2644
02:14:17,680 --> 02:14:20,480
Speaker 3: You know, a good meal is not just the entree.

2645
02:14:20,600 --> 02:14:21,560
Speaker 1: You know, you need a little bit.

2646
02:14:21,920 --> 02:14:23,680
Speaker 3: It's a little bit of that, a little bit. And

2647
02:14:23,760 --> 02:14:26,320
Speaker 3: that's what push the line is all about. Different people

2648
02:14:26,400 --> 02:14:29,440
Speaker 3: that give different perspectives what test.

2649
02:14:30,960 --> 02:14:35,280
Speaker 7: And Marcellers, I do appreciate y'all for all of the

2650
02:14:35,360 --> 02:14:37,480
Speaker 7: work and all of the work that y'all do into

2651
02:14:37,880 --> 02:14:42,240
Speaker 7: the community tests. I also appreciate you for foreign into

2652
02:14:42,400 --> 02:14:47,560
Speaker 7: me on today. I'm definitely gonna take your advice, you know,

2653
02:14:47,720 --> 02:14:50,640
Speaker 7: I know it ain't gonna happen over knife, but I'm.

2654
02:14:50,480 --> 02:14:51,760
Speaker 3: Definitely gonna work, honey.

2655
02:14:52,560 --> 02:14:56,880
Speaker 7: And I really really appreciate like you your platform and

2656
02:14:57,000 --> 02:15:01,920
Speaker 7: everything you do for us. Everything, I really really appreciate it.

2657
02:15:02,000 --> 02:15:04,280
Speaker 7: I literally I got a daughter right now that is

2658
02:15:05,400 --> 02:15:08,640
Speaker 7: a teen. She's went to go take her pre adsvents

2659
02:15:08,920 --> 02:15:10,000
Speaker 7: today because.

2660
02:15:11,280 --> 02:15:12,280
Speaker 3: Going to the military.

2661
02:15:12,760 --> 02:15:16,840
Speaker 7: And I was listening to your uh interview with with

2662
02:15:17,160 --> 02:15:22,480
Speaker 7: Jamal pastor Jamal today and I still got the little

2663
02:15:22,520 --> 02:15:24,560
Speaker 7: hard core part in me, but the part that when

2664
02:15:24,600 --> 02:15:30,120
Speaker 7: you were saying you was in basic training and military

2665
02:15:30,200 --> 02:15:33,080
Speaker 7: break you down, the military break you down, and I

2666
02:15:33,280 --> 02:15:35,240
Speaker 7: and what I was trying, and I ain't gonna go

2667
02:15:35,280 --> 02:15:37,040
Speaker 7: into the whole thing because I know we're trying to close.

2668
02:15:37,240 --> 02:15:37,640
Speaker 4: Go ahead.

2669
02:15:38,360 --> 02:15:43,480
Speaker 3: Well, well you know I was telling her that I

2670
02:15:43,720 --> 02:15:44,200
Speaker 3: listened to her.

2671
02:15:44,280 --> 02:15:46,560
Speaker 7: I stopped it. She went thud way, I stopped it.

2672
02:15:46,600 --> 02:15:49,040
Speaker 7: I said, wait, I'm a positis until she comes back

2673
02:15:49,400 --> 02:15:51,080
Speaker 7: into the car, because I wanted her to hear what

2674
02:15:51,160 --> 02:15:53,600
Speaker 7: you said. But I didn't want her to just take

2675
02:15:53,680 --> 02:15:55,680
Speaker 7: it for the military point of view. I just wanted

2676
02:15:55,720 --> 02:15:57,120
Speaker 7: her to take it for life.

2677
02:15:57,520 --> 02:15:57,840
Speaker 3: People.

2678
02:15:57,960 --> 02:16:00,920
Speaker 7: It's gonna be people around you trying gonna tear you down,

2679
02:16:01,080 --> 02:16:03,040
Speaker 7: break you down, just like how you said your sergeant

2680
02:16:03,080 --> 02:16:05,520
Speaker 7: was running the back besides you telling you to stop,

2681
02:16:05,800 --> 02:16:08,160
Speaker 7: telling you to stop, you ain't gonna you ain't gonna finish.

2682
02:16:08,360 --> 02:16:11,080
Speaker 7: But she kept going no matter what he said. He

2683
02:16:11,280 --> 02:16:13,840
Speaker 7: was in your ear saying to you. You built up

2684
02:16:13,880 --> 02:16:16,280
Speaker 7: in your mind that oh nah, I got this. I'm

2685
02:16:16,320 --> 02:16:19,000
Speaker 7: gonna you know, I'm gonna keep going. It ain't nothing

2686
02:16:19,000 --> 02:16:20,880
Speaker 7: you can say to me. And so that's something that

2687
02:16:21,000 --> 02:16:25,040
Speaker 7: I wanted because my my oldest shell, she's not it's

2688
02:16:25,600 --> 02:16:29,600
Speaker 7: she she's such a love of girl. She's such she

2689
02:16:29,880 --> 02:16:30,720
Speaker 7: just down.

2690
02:16:30,920 --> 02:16:32,800
Speaker 3: That's good. I'm glad to know that that that means

2691
02:16:32,800 --> 02:16:34,280
Speaker 3: you ain't been too hard on. I'm glad to know

2692
02:16:34,320 --> 02:16:36,000
Speaker 3: because you got toughness down.

2693
02:16:36,160 --> 02:16:36,640
Speaker 1: So that's good.

2694
02:16:36,680 --> 02:16:38,680
Speaker 3: I'm glad. She's a love of girl. And she'll tell

2695
02:16:39,040 --> 02:16:45,119
Speaker 3: Harrys I think. But like I told you a military Also,

2696
02:16:45,280 --> 02:16:47,840
Speaker 3: that one call I got, even though I did push through,

2697
02:16:47,920 --> 02:16:49,720
Speaker 3: even though whatever, I'm still glad I had a Tammy

2698
02:16:49,800 --> 02:16:53,480
Speaker 3: I could call right. So it's like that back because

2699
02:16:53,480 --> 02:16:56,160
Speaker 3: I called my mama, asked Tammy, I calls.

2700
02:16:56,760 --> 02:16:57,000
Speaker 9: Yeah.

2701
02:16:57,360 --> 02:16:59,640
Speaker 3: I was like, oo, girl, this ship just got real

2702
02:17:00,120 --> 02:17:03,280
Speaker 3: and I just Sai had two minutes and I've minutes

2703
02:17:03,320 --> 02:17:05,400
Speaker 3: to cry. Then after that I called my mama and

2704
02:17:05,600 --> 02:17:06,760
Speaker 3: gave up breed. You know, I'm doing good.

2705
02:17:06,840 --> 02:17:07,600
Speaker 1: Da da da da da.

2706
02:17:08,040 --> 02:17:10,880
Speaker 3: But my mother just wasn't always that salt. She was

2707
02:17:10,959 --> 02:17:12,920
Speaker 3: the business, She was the you know, okay, so get

2708
02:17:12,959 --> 02:17:15,000
Speaker 3: to it. It's not like I never cried to her

2709
02:17:15,400 --> 02:17:18,280
Speaker 3: right bush and base in that way. She wasn't a

2710
02:17:18,440 --> 02:17:22,160
Speaker 3: cool woman. But I'm just saying it didn't just that

2711
02:17:22,400 --> 02:17:25,640
Speaker 3: just wasn't her. But I'm glad if I call Tammy

2712
02:17:25,640 --> 02:17:27,080
Speaker 3: and cry right now, she's gonna cry with me. She

2713
02:17:27,240 --> 02:17:28,880
Speaker 3: just literally is just always gonna cry with me. My

2714
02:17:29,040 --> 02:17:30,840
Speaker 3: my two best girlfriends are nothing like me. They're the

2715
02:17:30,920 --> 02:17:35,480
Speaker 3: tole opposite of me. But tell your daughter, yes it

2716
02:17:35,720 --> 02:17:38,320
Speaker 3: is like that. But I want to make this point though,

2717
02:17:39,040 --> 02:17:41,039
Speaker 3: even though when you say it's through life. Yes, that's

2718
02:17:41,040 --> 02:17:43,240
Speaker 3: why I love The Matrix is my favorite movie because

2719
02:17:43,280 --> 02:17:45,720
Speaker 3: I think about I look at that as the enemy.

2720
02:17:45,879 --> 02:17:48,840
Speaker 3: You know, the enemy is the principalities are always trying

2721
02:17:48,879 --> 02:17:52,400
Speaker 3: to push you down that. But what we also have

2722
02:17:52,520 --> 02:17:55,520
Speaker 3: to be mindful of, Like with my daughter, yes, life

2723
02:17:55,640 --> 02:18:01,160
Speaker 3: is like that, but as mothers, we ain't life. We're

2724
02:18:01,240 --> 02:18:04,240
Speaker 3: preparing them for life. But what happened with us is

2725
02:18:05,200 --> 02:18:10,280
Speaker 3: our mothers or whatever was literally being life. What they

2726
02:18:10,400 --> 02:18:13,400
Speaker 3: thought in those generations that in other in order to

2727
02:18:13,520 --> 02:18:15,720
Speaker 3: prepare you for that, they need to be like that.

2728
02:18:18,840 --> 02:18:20,680
Speaker 3: We don't have to do that, We don't. I can

2729
02:18:20,800 --> 02:18:24,400
Speaker 3: still teach you how to manage life and never give

2730
02:18:24,520 --> 02:18:28,720
Speaker 3: up without being hard on you and cruel on you.

2731
02:18:30,400 --> 02:18:33,520
Speaker 3: There's balance, though there's some people to overcompensate. They kids can't,

2732
02:18:34,240 --> 02:18:36,560
Speaker 3: couldn't manage nothing. If they got dropped off, they wouldn't

2733
02:18:36,600 --> 02:18:38,840
Speaker 3: know how to do shit. So anything, I know, there's

2734
02:18:38,840 --> 02:18:42,720
Speaker 3: a lot of overcompensation too, but trying to find balance

2735
02:18:43,280 --> 02:18:47,040
Speaker 3: and knowing the difference between I don't you don't have

2736
02:18:47,120 --> 02:18:51,120
Speaker 3: to struggle to know how to manage struggle. You don't

2737
02:18:51,160 --> 02:18:54,080
Speaker 3: have to be to starve to know how to manage starvation,

2738
02:18:54,280 --> 02:18:57,080
Speaker 3: you know. And so we from generations where they thought

2739
02:18:57,320 --> 02:19:00,240
Speaker 3: the only way to teach you is to go through. Yeah,

2740
02:19:00,320 --> 02:19:03,000
Speaker 3: And so what that did was that remove the empathy,

2741
02:19:03,360 --> 02:19:05,960
Speaker 3: It added more trauma, It didn't get the you know,

2742
02:19:06,120 --> 02:19:09,200
Speaker 3: it left us cold in a lot of ways. And

2743
02:19:10,360 --> 02:19:14,760
Speaker 3: so when we're talking about military, yes that's through life citys,

2744
02:19:14,879 --> 02:19:17,120
Speaker 3: but also the military is teaching you how to go

2745
02:19:17,240 --> 02:19:20,520
Speaker 3: kill a man, so that analogy don't apply. It shouldn't

2746
02:19:20,520 --> 02:19:24,560
Speaker 3: apply to everything, because that is soldier work. That is

2747
02:19:24,680 --> 02:19:26,840
Speaker 3: teaching you how to be a soldier. And everybody ain't

2748
02:19:26,840 --> 02:19:29,560
Speaker 3: meant to be a soldier. And that's what these activists

2749
02:19:29,600 --> 02:19:31,080
Speaker 3: are finding out. That's why they want to harry up

2750
02:19:31,080 --> 02:19:33,120
Speaker 3: and get you out of basic training. It don't mean

2751
02:19:33,160 --> 02:19:36,320
Speaker 3: you're not a good person, It don't mean you whatever.

2752
02:19:36,520 --> 02:19:39,160
Speaker 3: It just means this ain't for you. So we're gonna

2753
02:19:39,160 --> 02:19:42,320
Speaker 3: push you to a level that gets you out. And

2754
02:19:42,360 --> 02:19:44,640
Speaker 3: that's why I run my political training very close to

2755
02:19:44,680 --> 02:19:46,760
Speaker 3: boot camp. Marcel's' gonna tell you, I don't run it

2756
02:19:46,840 --> 02:19:49,080
Speaker 3: like the other one was running. It started at six thirty.

2757
02:19:49,080 --> 02:19:50,520
Speaker 3: I wish one of y'all would come in here late.

2758
02:19:51,000 --> 02:19:52,760
Speaker 3: Oh dang, you should want everybody to be a part

2759
02:19:52,800 --> 02:19:54,520
Speaker 3: of it. No, I don't. I'm trying to run you

2760
02:19:54,640 --> 02:19:57,360
Speaker 3: out because that's the problem. That's why you don't. That's

2761
02:19:57,360 --> 02:19:59,920
Speaker 3: why everybody's sitting around looking where's our leaders? Where's our leaders?

2762
02:20:00,000 --> 02:20:03,200
Speaker 3: We don't have none, y'all. Quoting one person Jazmine Crockett,

2763
02:20:03,400 --> 02:20:05,440
Speaker 3: how much yazz? And can y'all do yazz?

2764
02:20:05,560 --> 02:20:05,800
Speaker 6: Girl?

2765
02:20:06,040 --> 02:20:06,160
Speaker 2: Who?

2766
02:20:06,200 --> 02:20:09,480
Speaker 3: Where is everybody else. It's because nobody was trained to

2767
02:20:09,560 --> 02:20:12,800
Speaker 3: get out. Everybody was trained to come in. Let everybody serve,

2768
02:20:12,920 --> 02:20:16,040
Speaker 3: let everybody come in. Elect anybody look at them because

2769
02:20:16,040 --> 02:20:17,800
Speaker 3: they got a resume because of this, and that, you

2770
02:20:17,879 --> 02:20:20,320
Speaker 3: ain't rep You ain't electing people based on who got heart,

2771
02:20:21,800 --> 02:20:25,520
Speaker 3: who got carter, because if you was, you would who

2772
02:20:25,560 --> 02:20:28,200
Speaker 3: else have we referring to you? Literally have nobody we're

2773
02:20:28,240 --> 02:20:30,640
Speaker 3: still quoting Martin Luther Key to Malcolm X. It was

2774
02:20:30,680 --> 02:20:35,720
Speaker 3: in the sixties. Yeah, we ain't quoting nobody. Y'all think

2775
02:20:35,760 --> 02:20:38,760
Speaker 3: that's that's a flex that we quoting somebody from the sixties.

2776
02:20:39,640 --> 02:20:43,480
Speaker 3: Nobody had a good quote since the sixties. That's a

2777
02:20:43,600 --> 02:20:47,400
Speaker 3: real problem. So when I talk about activism and that

2778
02:20:47,640 --> 02:20:53,160
Speaker 3: vein in the podcast, when I talk about that's soldier mentality.

2779
02:20:53,240 --> 02:20:56,800
Speaker 3: To me, it ain't for everybody. Hey, y'all have to

2780
02:20:56,840 --> 02:20:58,920
Speaker 3: do what I do. You want to come in social

2781
02:20:59,000 --> 02:21:01,720
Speaker 3: media these anonymous names and keep no job. Go to

2782
02:21:01,800 --> 02:21:04,040
Speaker 3: your job. I tell myselves all the time, stop trying

2783
02:21:04,040 --> 02:21:05,680
Speaker 3: to push the line like me. He'll tell I don't

2784
02:21:05,680 --> 02:21:07,400
Speaker 3: even respond back when he be trying to cause all

2785
02:21:07,440 --> 02:21:08,199
Speaker 3: these problems.

2786
02:21:07,920 --> 02:21:08,360
Speaker 5: On the job.

2787
02:21:08,640 --> 02:21:10,720
Speaker 3: Hey man, I need you on the job because I

2788
02:21:10,760 --> 02:21:12,880
Speaker 3: can't afford to hire you right now. Now, I don't

2789
02:21:12,920 --> 02:21:15,280
Speaker 3: tell him, go do whatever you're gonna do, Marcellas. But

2790
02:21:15,320 --> 02:21:16,880
Speaker 3: he'd been trying to drag me. Hey man, I'm not

2791
02:21:16,959 --> 02:21:19,160
Speaker 3: condoning that. I ain't condoning all they crash out shit

2792
02:21:19,200 --> 02:21:23,400
Speaker 3: because you need your job now again. You wanna crash out,

2793
02:21:23,480 --> 02:21:25,880
Speaker 3: crash out, but you better get you a roommate and

2794
02:21:25,959 --> 02:21:28,680
Speaker 3: your ass. Bet you can't. Can't be both. You can't

2795
02:21:29,240 --> 02:21:31,200
Speaker 3: and on on you. You know what I'm saying you.

2796
02:21:31,920 --> 02:21:34,400
Speaker 3: If you're gonna crash out, then you still gotta your

2797
02:21:34,440 --> 02:21:36,560
Speaker 3: ass gonna be evicted, run around here crashing out on

2798
02:21:36,680 --> 02:21:40,720
Speaker 3: every job on justice. I wasn't crashing out at his age,

2799
02:21:41,160 --> 02:21:43,400
Speaker 3: you know. And if I was, then I was willing

2800
02:21:43,440 --> 02:21:45,119
Speaker 3: to die for the cause. I didn't mind getting no room.

2801
02:21:45,160 --> 02:21:46,440
Speaker 3: I had Miss rub Be come live with me for

2802
02:21:46,480 --> 02:21:49,240
Speaker 3: six months. It wasn't above me like it was above Marcellis.

2803
02:21:49,440 --> 02:21:51,080
Speaker 3: So you're gonna need to break somewhere, you know what

2804
02:21:51,080 --> 02:21:53,440
Speaker 3: I mean. You can't do both. You have to make

2805
02:21:53,480 --> 02:21:57,040
Speaker 3: the sacrifice somewhere. So, yes, it's like that in life. No,

2806
02:21:57,200 --> 02:21:59,680
Speaker 3: you don't ever give up. But she's going to learn

2807
02:21:59,720 --> 02:22:02,480
Speaker 3: how to be a soldier. And guess what if she

2808
02:22:02,640 --> 02:22:05,240
Speaker 3: don't make it, then that means she don't need to

2809
02:22:05,240 --> 02:22:07,879
Speaker 3: be a soldier. It doesn't mean that she let them.

2810
02:22:08,280 --> 02:22:10,840
Speaker 3: Oh I kept, I kept pushing through. I wasn't gonna

2811
02:22:10,879 --> 02:22:13,560
Speaker 3: give up. I wasn't gonna you know, no, everybody meant

2812
02:22:13,600 --> 02:22:15,640
Speaker 3: to be no soldier. That's why a lot of time

2813
02:22:15,720 --> 02:22:17,920
Speaker 3: people go through be basic training. Then when it's time

2814
02:22:17,959 --> 02:22:19,960
Speaker 3: to go to war with nine to eleven, go look

2815
02:22:19,959 --> 02:22:21,440
Speaker 3: at them out of the people be like, oh man, wait, Minue,

2816
02:22:21,440 --> 02:22:22,920
Speaker 3: I didn't sign up for this. What the fuck would

2817
02:22:22,920 --> 02:22:24,600
Speaker 3: you sign up for just the benefits? You thought it

2818
02:22:24,680 --> 02:22:26,480
Speaker 3: was a game. You were supposed to sign up to

2819
02:22:26,520 --> 02:22:28,480
Speaker 3: go to war. You just wanted to anticipate in no war?

2820
02:22:28,760 --> 02:22:30,080
Speaker 3: Then when now when it's time to go to war?

2821
02:22:30,200 --> 02:22:33,000
Speaker 3: And looking crazy like on the podcast Jamal Bryant, I

2822
02:22:33,040 --> 02:22:35,600
Speaker 3: don't think we need to be at their protest to

2823
02:22:35,720 --> 02:22:37,920
Speaker 3: get hurt. Well, why was y'all protesting three years ago?

2824
02:22:38,000 --> 02:22:39,400
Speaker 3: Y'all want to think that I was thinking back that

2825
02:22:39,440 --> 02:22:41,000
Speaker 3: when I was staying on the stage three years ago,

2826
02:22:41,200 --> 02:22:44,600
Speaker 3: y'all want to think about that? Then? Oh okay, then

2827
02:22:44,800 --> 02:22:47,400
Speaker 3: so we didn't need y'all protesting three three years ago,

2828
02:22:47,480 --> 02:22:49,600
Speaker 3: because that's exactly what I was thinking about when I

2829
02:22:49,800 --> 02:22:52,080
Speaker 3: was on the stage on the Netflix documentary said I

2830
02:22:52,120 --> 02:22:54,360
Speaker 3: was wanting to die for the calls. That's exactly what

2831
02:22:54,480 --> 02:22:56,960
Speaker 3: I was thinking about. It's why I got armed security

2832
02:22:57,400 --> 02:23:01,520
Speaker 3: strapped up coming on Sunday patting y'all ass down at

2833
02:23:01,560 --> 02:23:03,240
Speaker 3: the town hall. Who they patting us down?

2834
02:23:03,320 --> 02:23:04,160
Speaker 1: You better believe it.

2835
02:23:04,440 --> 02:23:06,240
Speaker 3: If they pat your ass down the club, you're gonna

2836
02:23:06,240 --> 02:23:08,200
Speaker 3: get pasted down there because I don't know who comes here.

2837
02:23:08,280 --> 02:23:11,440
Speaker 3: Got a problem with me. Yeah, I'm willing to die

2838
02:23:11,480 --> 02:23:12,800
Speaker 3: for the car, but I don't want to die today

2839
02:23:12,879 --> 02:23:15,160
Speaker 3: with no defense or nothing. And well, yeah, we strapped

2840
02:23:15,200 --> 02:23:16,640
Speaker 3: up up in there. Try it if you walk to it.

2841
02:23:16,640 --> 02:23:20,200
Speaker 3: I ain't bullshit when I say it online, and I

2842
02:23:20,240 --> 02:23:23,400
Speaker 3: don't care who feel a way about it, because I

2843
02:23:23,560 --> 02:23:26,680
Speaker 3: know I can trigger somebody. So you you want to

2844
02:23:26,680 --> 02:23:30,840
Speaker 3: be reincarnated Sunday, it's gonna be your chance. I'm gonna

2845
02:23:30,879 --> 02:23:33,360
Speaker 3: die on March twenty ninth, the day before this event.

2846
02:23:34,040 --> 02:23:36,280
Speaker 3: I'm ready to see again, but not yet. I still

2847
02:23:36,320 --> 02:23:38,360
Speaker 3: got a dog. I'm trying to marry off and see.

2848
02:23:38,600 --> 02:23:40,840
Speaker 3: So you want to come there playing with me, don't worry.

2849
02:23:41,080 --> 02:23:44,480
Speaker 3: We got two on the inside that's visibly. I got

2850
02:23:44,560 --> 02:23:46,560
Speaker 3: two more that you don't know that you can't see,

2851
02:23:46,760 --> 02:23:48,880
Speaker 3: and we got a few outside. So play with it

2852
02:23:48,920 --> 02:23:51,119
Speaker 3: if you want to. And it ain't just no arm security.

2853
02:23:54,120 --> 02:23:55,920
Speaker 3: I got some ones willing to lay it down. It's

2854
02:23:55,920 --> 02:24:00,400
Speaker 3: gonna go this, gonna skip the protocol. So so I

2855
02:24:00,520 --> 02:24:02,560
Speaker 3: believe in all of you don't see it. So I

2856
02:24:02,680 --> 02:24:04,120
Speaker 3: just like people being with they supposed to be. I

2857
02:24:04,240 --> 02:24:06,840
Speaker 3: wish her all the luck. I think all kids, even

2858
02:24:06,879 --> 02:24:09,200
Speaker 3: if they stay in the military or not, everybody could

2859
02:24:09,200 --> 02:24:11,920
Speaker 3: benefit from basic training. Everybody. I'm a big believer in that.

2860
02:24:12,040 --> 02:24:14,879
Speaker 3: I really do it. Really you want to talk about

2861
02:24:14,959 --> 02:24:18,200
Speaker 3: push the bitch out of you, the military will absolutely

2862
02:24:18,280 --> 02:24:20,400
Speaker 3: do it. And I just think it's good to have.

2863
02:24:20,480 --> 02:24:22,600
Speaker 3: I don't think the military is for everybody long term.

2864
02:24:22,640 --> 02:24:23,160
Speaker 1: It wasn't for me.

2865
02:24:23,760 --> 02:24:26,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think people can get out and you know,

2866
02:24:30,080 --> 02:24:33,720
Speaker 3: you know, go from there. You know, well, your work

2867
02:24:33,760 --> 02:24:35,560
Speaker 3: does not go and I don't.

2868
02:24:35,640 --> 02:24:37,960
Speaker 7: I'm not the one who always come in in the

2869
02:24:38,080 --> 02:24:42,520
Speaker 7: comments section, and I just don't do that, but lately

2870
02:24:42,840 --> 02:24:44,680
Speaker 7: I did just come in on one of your posts.

2871
02:24:45,080 --> 02:24:48,320
Speaker 3: But I listen. I tell all my friends all the

2872
02:24:48,400 --> 02:24:49,240
Speaker 3: people around me.

2873
02:24:49,680 --> 02:24:52,360
Speaker 7: If you ain't got time to be in politics and

2874
02:24:52,480 --> 02:24:54,520
Speaker 7: all of it, follow this lady here, she's gonna keep

2875
02:24:54,520 --> 02:24:55,880
Speaker 7: you up on game like pointh plank.

2876
02:24:55,920 --> 02:24:56,280
Speaker 1: Period.

2877
02:24:56,640 --> 02:24:58,920
Speaker 7: It ain't no excuse, you know what I'm saying, Like,

2878
02:24:59,440 --> 02:25:02,119
Speaker 7: listen to what she's saying, because listen.

2879
02:25:01,959 --> 02:25:04,680
Speaker 3: I just really I really love you, I really really

2880
02:25:04,800 --> 02:25:10,000
Speaker 3: love you, and I definitely would love to be, you know,

2881
02:25:10,280 --> 02:25:18,960
Speaker 3: on Morris Zones and stuff. Hey, every every let me

2882
02:25:19,040 --> 02:25:21,720
Speaker 3: close this out because it's getting Just stop the recording,

2883
02:25:21,760 --> 02:25:24,480
Speaker 3: stay right here. So guys, you heard it. This was

2884
02:25:24,480 --> 02:25:27,000
Speaker 3: supposed to be thirty minutes. We went on and on

2885
02:25:27,240 --> 02:25:29,600
Speaker 3: and on and on, which is why we really should

2886
02:25:29,640 --> 02:25:33,000
Speaker 3: have been doing this live on YouTube, which we are

2887
02:25:33,120 --> 02:25:35,920
Speaker 3: going to start doing. By the way, Marcelli's is gonna

2888
02:25:35,920 --> 02:25:37,640
Speaker 3: stay on me to make sure I keep up with

2889
02:25:37,680 --> 02:25:40,680
Speaker 3: the discipline to do with Marcella's and clip certainly Marcella's

2890
02:25:42,240 --> 02:25:44,480
Speaker 3: Sundays at seven o'clock. I travel a lot. But this

2891
02:25:44,600 --> 02:25:47,240
Speaker 3: is why this is so helpful as we move forward

2892
02:25:48,040 --> 02:25:50,000
Speaker 3: with the three things that I keep saying we need

2893
02:25:50,080 --> 02:25:55,600
Speaker 3: to do, which is say, stack and secure. These are

2894
02:25:55,640 --> 02:25:57,800
Speaker 3: the type of conversations that come out of this. How

2895
02:25:57,840 --> 02:26:00,480
Speaker 3: do we find resources, how do we protect piece, how

2896
02:26:00,520 --> 02:26:02,160
Speaker 3: do we tighten up? How do we stop crying? How

2897
02:26:02,200 --> 02:26:05,200
Speaker 3: do we find solutions? This is what all these conversations

2898
02:26:05,480 --> 02:26:07,760
Speaker 3: are for, and I always want you guys to be

2899
02:26:07,840 --> 02:26:10,640
Speaker 3: a part of it because I do get real intel

2900
02:26:10,840 --> 02:26:14,160
Speaker 3: and real information, and we got real therapy sessions even

2901
02:26:14,200 --> 02:26:16,200
Speaker 3: though we're not life and therapists when we get a

2902
02:26:16,320 --> 02:26:18,360
Speaker 3: chance to, you know, really talk about it. And you

2903
02:26:18,680 --> 02:26:22,360
Speaker 3: guys are always welcome, you know, on my podcast. So guys,

2904
02:26:22,440 --> 02:26:27,200
Speaker 3: make sure you subscribe, share with somebody, because again, this

2905
02:26:27,400 --> 02:26:29,280
Speaker 3: may be the only tribe you have in your life.

2906
02:26:29,320 --> 02:26:31,520
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that being funny. I'm being dead ass,

2907
02:26:31,720 --> 02:26:35,160
Speaker 3: like you may not really have a place that you

2908
02:26:35,240 --> 02:26:37,640
Speaker 3: can get a little bit of everything. I can't provide

2909
02:26:37,680 --> 02:26:39,760
Speaker 3: it all, but I hope to be one of those

2910
02:26:39,840 --> 02:26:44,360
Speaker 3: things for you guys. So make sure you subscribe. Every

2911
02:26:44,400 --> 02:26:46,280
Speaker 3: week we get content. But again we're trying to add

2912
02:26:46,400 --> 02:26:49,080
Speaker 3: this live show every week as well. Thank you guys,

2913
02:26:49,160 --> 02:26:52,720
Speaker 3: Thank you for everybody for joining me, and we will

2914
02:26:52,800 --> 02:26:56,360
Speaker 3: speak next time. Peace. If you like what you heard

2915
02:26:56,440 --> 02:26:58,920
Speaker 3: on Straight Shot No Chaser, please subscribe and trump a

2916
02:26:58,959 --> 02:27:01,640
Speaker 3: five star review. Tell a friend straight Shot No Chaser

2917
02:27:01,720 --> 02:27:04,120
Speaker 3: is a production of the Black Effect podcast Network in

2918
02:27:04,240 --> 02:27:06,720
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio on Teslin figure Out, and I like to thank

2919
02:27:06,800 --> 02:27:10,800
Speaker 3: our producer editor mixer Dwayne Crawford and our executive producer

2920
02:27:10,879 --> 02:27:14,440
Speaker 3: Charlottmagne da God. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

2921
02:27:14,600 --> 02:27:18,480
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts