1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:05,560
Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on iHeartRadio.

2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,160
Speaker 2: And welcome back to Coast to Coast George Nori with you.

3
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,360
Speaker 2: Let me introduce you to our special guest. Diane Calderan

4
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,760
Speaker 2: is a spiritual and intuitive advisor and teacher as well

5
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,200
Speaker 2: as an author. Her book is called Living and Loving

6
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:23,600
Speaker 2: Life All Day, every Day, a mother's story of loss, love,

7
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,120
Speaker 2: and connecting with the afterlife. She has a master's degree

8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 2: in sociology and a diverse career and governmental service. Diane,

9
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 2: welcome and thank you for coming onto the program.

10
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:40,320
Speaker 3: Thank you very much George for that lovely introduction, and

11
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,199
Speaker 3: I am especially excited to be a guest on your

12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,120
Speaker 3: wonderful program. Thank you, You're welcome.

13
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 2: And I am so sorry for your loss.

14
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,360
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you very much, George.

15
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,120
Speaker 4: It's it's been a hard one and it's been a

16
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,480
Speaker 4: few years, but I still miss that kid so much.

17
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,680
Speaker 2: That was the impetus for writing the book. Was it

18
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,440
Speaker 2: not correct?

19
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,600
Speaker 3: It definitely led me to this new journey.

20
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,240
Speaker 2: I'm on, Yes, if it's not too painful for you,

21
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,920
Speaker 2: can you tell us what happened to him?

22
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,040
Speaker 3: I certainly can.

23
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,720
Speaker 4: My son, who was thirty five years old, He wasn't,

24
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,000
Speaker 4: you know, a young kid, but a grown up man.

25
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,560
Speaker 3: Was walking his dog to the dog park one night.

26
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 4: Lived in a residential area in Phoenix, and as he

27
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,720
Speaker 4: was crossing the street, which was not a very busy street,

28
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,880
Speaker 4: he got hit by a car, a hit and run,

29
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:43,000
Speaker 4: and it took him pretty quick, and his passing.

30
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,560
Speaker 3: Just threw me for a loop.

31
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,160
Speaker 4: And it was a challenging time in life already, but

32
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,600
Speaker 4: that kind of put the icing on the cake.

33
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,440
Speaker 2: Did they ever catch the person who hit him?

34
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 4: Fortunately, the young man who hit him was driving his

35
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,680
Speaker 4: There's car and when he got to his house, he

36
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,080
Speaker 4: was shook up and told his mom what had happened

37
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,040
Speaker 4: and said he just got scared and he didn't stop,

38
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,760
Speaker 4: and she had him call the police and turn himself in.

39
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,760
Speaker 2: He wasn't drinking, nothing like that.

40
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,639
Speaker 3: No, No, he had been down the road.

41
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,959
Speaker 4: At a barber shop getting a haircut and was heading

42
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,080
Speaker 4: home up this road. He was driving a little faster

43
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,640
Speaker 4: than one should, but wasn't drinking. The police investigated that

44
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,160
Speaker 4: he wasn't using the cell phone. The lights It was

45
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,440
Speaker 4: a nighttime accident.

46
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,560
Speaker 3: The lights were on the headlights.

47
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,360
Speaker 4: My son should have seen the lights as he was

48
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:49,519
Speaker 4: crossing the road. There's just no explanation as to why

49
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,120
Speaker 4: this young man hit him.

50
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:57,560
Speaker 2: I have lost a sister, I've lost the father, and

51
00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:02,200
Speaker 2: I've lost some very close friends in my lifetime, and

52
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,120
Speaker 2: it seems, Diane, that it goes and streaks for me

53
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,200
Speaker 2: where the grief is always there, the pain is always there.

54
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,600
Speaker 2: But you know, sometimes I'm fine. I just keep doing

55
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,680
Speaker 2: my thing and everything's great. But then there's a moment

56
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,320
Speaker 2: where I stop and think about them or reflect and

57
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 2: the pain comes back. Is that normal?

58
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,959
Speaker 3: I believe that is normal.

59
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,960
Speaker 4: I would worry if us humans didn't feel the loss

60
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,440
Speaker 4: of those that we've held dear to our hearts now

61
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,240
Speaker 4: and then.

62
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to.

63
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 4: Carry the grief all the time, because that's not a

64
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,080
Speaker 4: way to live. It's like the book says, live and

65
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 4: love life all day. Every day is just keep moving forward,

66
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,880
Speaker 4: honor their presence, feel the grief when it hits, but

67
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,640
Speaker 4: don't carry it on your shoulders all day. Because here

68
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,200
Speaker 4: we are. Let's enjoy the life while we can. We

69
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,680
Speaker 4: will join them at some point later on, but there's

70
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:10,080
Speaker 4: no rush, no no rush, no hurry. Let's enjoy this

71
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 4: place while we can't, even though it gets a little

72
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,359
Speaker 4: challenging at times. We can still, you know, hug a

73
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,279
Speaker 4: friend and enjoy a sunrise and sit at a beach

74
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,280
Speaker 4: and whatever life brings us, and know that it's special

75
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,120
Speaker 4: and we are very blessed to be here.

76
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,839
Speaker 2: How deep and how bad was that loss for you

77
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:31,719
Speaker 2: when it happened?

78
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:38,560
Speaker 3: It was incredibly hard for me. George Matthew was my

79
00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,000
Speaker 3: only child.

80
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:45,480
Speaker 4: And he was my backbone and my biggest support as

81
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:50,320
Speaker 4: I was dealing with the decline of my husband. My

82
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:55,240
Speaker 4: husband Sal had dementia and he had gotten into a

83
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:59,440
Speaker 4: pretty bad place at the time that my son was killed.

84
00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:02,240
Speaker 3: My son would come and visit me.

85
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,920
Speaker 4: He lived in the Phoenix area, two hours from where

86
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 4: I live, and he would come and visit when he

87
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,920
Speaker 4: had his days off from work and help with his

88
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 4: dad as much as he could and give me a

89
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,159
Speaker 4: little bit of a break so I could run into

90
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,400
Speaker 4: town and take care of, you know, errands and groceries

91
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,039
Speaker 4: and what have you.

92
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,120
Speaker 3: So losing him was really difficult.

93
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,839
Speaker 4: I didn't have any other close relatives that I could

94
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,359
Speaker 4: depend on to help me with my husband.

95
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:34,080
Speaker 2: Once your son got hit and died, what did you do?

96
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 2: Who did you turn to for help?

97
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,480
Speaker 4: Well, I got the phone call the day it happened,

98
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,479
Speaker 4: one night, and I got the phone call the next

99
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:48,680
Speaker 4: day unexpectedly from a Phoenix detective, you know, asking do

100
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:53,480
Speaker 4: you know Matthew blah blah blah, And you know, the

101
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,840
Speaker 4: police don't call you unless it's bad news, right if

102
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,279
Speaker 4: they had picked him up and put him in jail,

103
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:58,760
Speaker 4: they're not going.

104
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 3: To call you.

105
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,320
Speaker 4: So my heart, you know, was like, oh, no, a

106
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,039
Speaker 4: detective is calling, what's he want? He tells me that

107
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,159
Speaker 4: my son had been killed the.

108
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,159
Speaker 3: Night before, and I just about lost it.

109
00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,200
Speaker 4: But I had to keep it together long enough, you know,

110
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,279
Speaker 4: to ask the circumstances, what happened?

111
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,680
Speaker 3: Are you sure it's my son? And get some of

112
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,960
Speaker 3: the details.

113
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:24,080
Speaker 4: So after I found out what happened and what time

114
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,640
Speaker 4: of night, I first went to my husband and he

115
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,719
Speaker 4: was not all there, George, he just wasn't all there

116
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,200
Speaker 4: that day.

117
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,119
Speaker 3: I told him Matthew died.

118
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,599
Speaker 4: He was killed in a hit and run last night,

119
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,279
Speaker 4: and my husband just kind of patted my head and said, oh,

120
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,040
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, and that was it.

121
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 2: It didn't sink in, did it at all?

122
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:47,760
Speaker 3: No?

123
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,720
Speaker 4: No, it did not sink in at that moment. I mean,

124
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,640
Speaker 4: he had times when it did. You know later it

125
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,120
Speaker 4: kind of hit him, but never as deep as if

126
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,480
Speaker 4: you're all there mentally.

127
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,480
Speaker 3: So my next move was to call, you know, my.

128
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 4: Sisters they lived out of state, call some of the

129
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,960
Speaker 4: other relatives, call some of my closest friends. I did

130
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,680
Speaker 4: have a friend nearby who came right away to help me,

131
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,360
Speaker 4: and then got a hold of some of my son's friends.

132
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 4: He had gone to school in this area and had

133
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 4: some help from them also, So that helped.

134
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 3: Carry me for you know, first couple of.

135
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,040
Speaker 4: Weeks, going through the process of what do you do now?

136
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,400
Speaker 4: I've never had to really deal with the death, and

137
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 4: what do we do a funeral.

138
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 3: Or go to a church? What do we do?

139
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,840
Speaker 4: Ended up doing two parties for him, because that was

140
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,680
Speaker 4: my son, one up here where we live in one in.

141
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,200
Speaker 3: Phoenix, because he had a lot of.

142
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:47,120
Speaker 4: Friends and he liked to have a good time, and

143
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,080
Speaker 4: so we did parties instead of awake, and I think

144
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,800
Speaker 4: that was the best way to honor him.

145
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,920
Speaker 2: And I think some of the worst times are we

146
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 2: don't have time in some of these cases, like with you,

147
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,960
Speaker 2: some of my runs were passed on quickly. We don't

148
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:08,000
Speaker 2: have time to prepare, we don't have time to handle ourselves.

149
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 2: My mother, God lover, is going to be ninety six

150
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:17,880
Speaker 2: years old in May, and she's in great health and everything.

151
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,640
Speaker 2: But I've gotten to the point where she's ninety six,

152
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,360
Speaker 2: so I understand that if something happens to her, God forbid,

153
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:32,000
Speaker 2: I'm preparing myself for it. I'm ready for it. But

154
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,800
Speaker 2: you know, your son was thirty five years old and

155
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,840
Speaker 2: you didn't expect it. It's not like he had a

156
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,240
Speaker 2: prolonged disease or anything like that.

157
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,040
Speaker 3: No, not at all.

158
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,560
Speaker 4: I was anticipating the eventual passing of my husband, and

159
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,240
Speaker 4: that was a long process. It took about five years

160
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,360
Speaker 4: from the time he was diagnosed with the Louis body

161
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 4: dementia to the point of his passing over. So I

162
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,440
Speaker 4: was at a stage of trying to prepare for.

163
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,080
Speaker 3: That and reading the books and trying to understand where

164
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,920
Speaker 3: we were headed. I was not prepared for what happened

165
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,920
Speaker 3: with my son.

166
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:15,440
Speaker 4: Interestingly enough, in the weeks before he died, he was

167
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,200
Speaker 4: trying to grow up, so to speak. He had kind

168
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,959
Speaker 4: of been a wanderer and had done a lot of

169
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,280
Speaker 4: jobs in his life, but he had finally decided he

170
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 4: was going to get serious and pursue a contractor's license.

171
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,400
Speaker 4: He loved doing construction, and he started talking to me

172
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,280
Speaker 4: about helping him out. I could do the business part

173
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 4: because I was good with paperwork, and he would be

174
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,640
Speaker 4: the contractor. And he was getting ready to take the

175
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 4: contractor's licensing exam. And he had been up visiting me

176
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,640
Speaker 4: that weekend before he passed, and we had some interesting conversations.

177
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,280
Speaker 3: And part of the conversation touched on.

178
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,400
Speaker 4: That topic of death and dying, and you know, with

179
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:03,120
Speaker 4: his dad getting ready to actually transfer over, we got

180
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,720
Speaker 4: into a few spiritual discussions, which was unusual because my

181
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,200
Speaker 4: son was not a spiritual person so to speak.

182
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,720
Speaker 3: We talked about.

183
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:18,080
Speaker 4: Importantly, you know, if one of us dies, Matt and

184
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 4: I'll probably go before you, but hey, just in case

185
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,719
Speaker 4: if one of us dies, let's make a promise right

186
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,640
Speaker 4: now that whoever passes over has to come back and

187
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,640
Speaker 4: let the other person know they're okay.

188
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,079
Speaker 3: Give a sign. And he kind of looked at me like,

189
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,200
Speaker 3: are you crazy, but he said, okay, Mom, I guess

190
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:33,839
Speaker 3: we could do that.

191
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:40,319
Speaker 4: And that conversation came back to mind many days later, actually,

192
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,040
Speaker 4: the day after the day of.

193
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,400
Speaker 3: My finding out that he had died.

194
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,200
Speaker 4: I'm sitting there that night thinking about that conversation that

195
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,199
Speaker 4: we had had, and I was a little upset. It's like, Matt,

196
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,440
Speaker 4: we made an agreement that when you died, you were

197
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,679
Speaker 4: supposed to give me a sign.

198
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,719
Speaker 3: And then George, boom, it hit me. He gave me.

199
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,760
Speaker 2: A sign he did.

200
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:05,080
Speaker 3: Oh yes, oh yes, a remarkable sign.

201
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,560
Speaker 2: What was that sign?

202
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,920
Speaker 4: Well, the night that he died, I'm sitting at my

203
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,520
Speaker 4: home and we had the television on. There was a

204
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,880
Speaker 4: program that was going to start. It was a speech

205
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,280
Speaker 4: by the president. And my husband was unusually quiet that

206
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 4: evening and was watching the television, and I'm sitting on

207
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,800
Speaker 4: the sofa next to him, and I'm a little bored,

208
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,520
Speaker 4: and I kind of looked up at I saw in

209
00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:36,320
Speaker 4: front of me, George, this amazing sparkling lights sparkling in

210
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 4: front of my face, all different colors. I don't know

211
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 4: if when you were a child you might have played

212
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,840
Speaker 4: with sparklers over the fourth of July.

213
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,640
Speaker 2: Oh I love them, loved them.

214
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's what it looked like. But different

215
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,680
Speaker 4: colors just right in front of my face. I could

216
00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 4: almost reach out and touch them. And these lights flickered

217
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,719
Speaker 4: for a few seconds and I'm like.

218
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,400
Speaker 3: Wow, what is that? And they disappeared.

219
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,320
Speaker 4: I looked over at my husband and he's sitting on

220
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 4: the sofa fixed on the TV.

221
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 3: The lights showed up in front of him. He did

222
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,560
Speaker 3: not see them.

223
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,040
Speaker 4: They flickered for a few seconds that I'm watching, and

224
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 4: he's not reacting.

225
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,000
Speaker 3: He does not see these lights.

226
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 4: They go out, and I think, oh my god, I

227
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,679
Speaker 4: am losing it?

228
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 3: Am I hallucin eighty? This is not going to be good.

229
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,000
Speaker 3: How am I going to take care of my husband

230
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,000
Speaker 3: if I'm losing it too? Oh dear.

231
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,480
Speaker 4: They showed up again, George in front of me again.

232
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,360
Speaker 4: Now I'm watching them, and instead of going out right away,

233
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,240
Speaker 4: they moved to my left. It's like they floated over

234
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,439
Speaker 4: ninety degree angle from the front to the side.

235
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,680
Speaker 3: And then they disappeared.

236
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 4: And when they disappeared, you know, I'm in awe. It's like,

237
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I guess I am losing it.

238
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,600
Speaker 3: Oh wait, look on the table. There's a book. Uh huh, oh,

239
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,440
Speaker 3: look at the book. So I was distracted by the book, George,

240
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,480
Speaker 3: not all about the lights. Picked up the book.

241
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,680
Speaker 4: It was a book that my husband had apparently dragged

242
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,120
Speaker 4: out of the bookshelf and had just dropped there because

243
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,679
Speaker 4: he would wander around and move things.

244
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,840
Speaker 3: And it was Edgar Casey. It was about Edgar Casey.

245
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,520
Speaker 3: There is a river. I see the book and I

246
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 3: pick it up, and I get.

247
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,960
Speaker 4: Excited because my son was coming up the next day,

248
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,600
Speaker 4: and I remembered the conversation we'd had a few days before,

249
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,920
Speaker 4: where not only did I say, if you die, give

250
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 4: me a sign, but I had said to him, you know,

251
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,520
Speaker 4: I have always thought that.

252
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,600
Speaker 3: Children choose their parents before they come here.

253
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,880
Speaker 4: That they're sitting up there in heaven and they're looking

254
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,880
Speaker 4: around and they're saying, I want to come down and

255
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 4: be born, But who do I want is my parents.

256
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,079
Speaker 4: I don't know why I got that idea from that,

257
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,840
Speaker 4: but that's something that I've carried forever.

258
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,160
Speaker 3: So I think you chose me. So sometimes you're not

259
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,720
Speaker 3: happy with that choice, but hey, you pick me. So

260
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,160
Speaker 3: I'm looking at the book and it's like, that's where

261
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 3: I got it.

262
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 4: I had forgotten what I told them that tale where

263
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,959
Speaker 4: I had the concept, and it hit.

264
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,160
Speaker 3: Me it was Edgar Casey. George. I open that book.

265
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,040
Speaker 4: I mean I just flip it open, boom, right on

266
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:16,559
Speaker 4: the page where Casey talks about the souls, the children

267
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,680
Speaker 4: planning out their lives and choosing their parents.

268
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 3: You can't make this up right here.

269
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,960
Speaker 4: It is, Oh my god. So I'm reading the story

270
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,760
Speaker 4: in the book. I forget about the speech on TV.

271
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,280
Speaker 3: I forgot about the lights.

272
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 4: Oh I got I'm excited because, oh I'm going to

273
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 4: show Matt tomorrow where I got this idea. Okay, so

274
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 4: you know, eventually, put the book down, go to bed.

275
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:44,920
Speaker 4: Next morning, I get up, interesting morning, get my husband up,

276
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,760
Speaker 4: get him at the table, get his breakfast.

277
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 3: And I live in a rural area.

278
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 4: I have to jump in the car and drive about

279
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,400
Speaker 4: three quarters of a mile down to the highway to

280
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 4: get a paper. As I'm driving down the road, bluebirds

281
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,800
Speaker 4: come flying next to the car.

282
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,640
Speaker 3: George, where I live, we don't normally get bluebirds. I

283
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 3: had never seen them here and we've been here thirty.

284
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 4: Plus years, and these bluebirds are flying along the car,

285
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 4: and I'm thinking.

286
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,000
Speaker 3: What the heck a these birds? Get up, get the paper,

287
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,560
Speaker 3: turn back around. I'm thinking about the birds.

288
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 4: It made me think of my son when he was

289
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,440
Speaker 4: a little boy, singing Zippity do to mister bluebird on

290
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 4: my shoulder.

291
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 2: Great song.

292
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,960
Speaker 4: And I thought, oh, that's such a cool memory. And I

293
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,920
Speaker 4: wonder why they're bluebirds. And oh gosh, remember over the

294
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,520
Speaker 4: rainbow and blue birds?

295
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 3: Where blue birds fly? This is on my mind right

296
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:34,480
Speaker 3: come home.

297
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 4: A little bit later, I get that phone call from

298
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,360
Speaker 4: the detective that my son had died.

299
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,320
Speaker 3: I asked the detective what time did he die? And

300
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:43,920
Speaker 3: he told me.

301
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 4: But I didn't connect the dots, George at that moment

302
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 4: with what had happened the night before. Did not come

303
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 4: to mind. That night, I'm sitting at the table. My

304
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 4: husband had gone to bed, and I'm waiting for my sisters.

305
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 4: They were flying in and to rent a car drive

306
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,200
Speaker 4: up to be with me, and I'm thinking about what

307
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,960
Speaker 4: had happened, and I in.

308
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 3: My mind, I'm like, Matt, you were supposed to give

309
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,880
Speaker 3: me a sign. Remember, You're supposed to give me a sign.

310
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 4: And then it's boom, that was the sign. What time

311
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 4: did he done? Seven pm? What time did I see

312
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 4: those lights?

313
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 3: George?

314
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:25,240
Speaker 4: My god, not only did that bring a ton of comfort,

315
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 4: the realization that that was my son hit me, it

316
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,680
Speaker 4: flooded my whole being.

317
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,880
Speaker 3: That was my son showing these lights.

318
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 4: He said hi, Mom, went over and said hi Pop,

319
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 4: and then he showed me the book because it was

320
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,360
Speaker 4: important for me to know that he now knew that.

321
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 3: He told me, as his mom.

322
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 2: Diane, grief never goes away, But how long did it

323
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 2: take for you to kind of temper it?

324
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 3: Wow? Coming to that realization that night helped a lot.

325
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,240
Speaker 4: Right then and there. It just helped a lot because

326
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 4: I knew he was okay. I knew he was in

327
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 4: another dimension, another world, heaven, whatever.

328
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,720
Speaker 3: It is you want to call it.

329
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 4: It helped temper my grief to where I could get

330
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 4: through the first two weeks, a.

331
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 3: Lot of activity, people coming and going, but.

332
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,360
Speaker 4: Then everybody left after that last party we had in Phoenix.

333
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 4: I'm driving home by myself, two hour drive, and then

334
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,080
Speaker 4: it just flooded, and I'm crying all the way home,

335
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 4: and just you know, thinking about different things that we'd

336
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 4: been going through, and you know, making the connections of

337
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 4: Matt showing me these signs. But one of the things

338
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 4: that helped is someone had led me to think about

339
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 4: mediumship and those who can connect with spirit and communicate

340
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 4: with him. So after I got home, I began to

341
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 4: look into books and whatever I could get my hands

342
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,040
Speaker 4: on regarding mediumship because I had not known a lot

343
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,520
Speaker 4: about mediums before heard about him, never thought.

344
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 3: I would ever want to go to one. Thought it

345
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,680
Speaker 3: was a little too woo woo. But I started reading the.

346
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:11,680
Speaker 4: Books and learned an awful lot about how spirit communicates,

347
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 4: and the more I learned, the easier my grief seemed

348
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 4: to be because I knew my son was over on

349
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 4: the other side and that he was watching over me.

350
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 3: He was continued sending me signs. Rainbows were a big

351
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:25,920
Speaker 3: sign for.

352
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 4: Him, the bluebirds and playing with the lights in the house,

353
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,960
Speaker 4: the ceiling fan he'd play with that he had installed,

354
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 4: the ceiling fan he'd play with that.

355
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 3: So I knew he was around and had helped. The

356
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:43,360
Speaker 3: grief had to kind of go to a back burner

357
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: for me, though, because I.

358
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 4: Was dealing with my husband who was getting worse and worse,

359
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 4: and so I couldn't just melt into a puddle of

360
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 4: grief because I had to be realistic and take care

361
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,120
Speaker 4: of this man.

362
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 1: Listen to more Coast to Coast am every weeknight at

363
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 1: one am Eastern and go to co to Coast a

364
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 1: m dot com for more