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Speaker 1: We can celebrate the highs. Sometimes you're on a loan.

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Speaker 1: People don't necessarily know, so just treat people with grace

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Speaker 1: because you just don't know what other people are going through.

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Speaker 2: Episode two hundred of Hurdle. I'm so amped.

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Speaker 3: Emily Abadi here coming to you live from the AG studio.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where

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Speaker 3: I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top

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Speaker 3: experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments,

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Speaker 3: and everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,

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Speaker 3: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you

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Speaker 3: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that

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Speaker 3: you can stride towards your own big potential and of

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Speaker 3: course have some fun along the way. Two hundred episodes. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I feel the need to disclaim that there are actually,

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Speaker 3: at this very point in time, four hundred and sixty

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Speaker 3: seven episodes in the Hurdle podcast feed.

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Speaker 2: But you know the drill. If you are Hurdler.

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Speaker 3: Mondays are the numbered episodes, and so today marks episode

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Speaker 3: two hundred. It also marked me sitting here recording this

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Speaker 3: intro with a voice that maybe a little more harsh

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Speaker 3: than usual after just the most unbelievable few days of events.

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Speaker 3: A huge thank you first to the wonderful woman that

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Speaker 3: came out for a dinner that I co hosted with

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Speaker 3: my friends at Whoop last Thursday night. It truly was

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Speaker 3: just the most special opportunity to get together in community,

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Speaker 3: and I feel just as grateful for the opportunity to

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Speaker 3: come together irl for the Hurdler Huddle that I hosted

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Speaker 3: on Saturday with thirty outstanding heard from the New York

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Speaker 3: City community.

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Speaker 2: I look forward to recreating this.

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Speaker 3: Experience goodness all over the United States. You make me

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Speaker 3: amped and excited and motivated to make it happen. So

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Speaker 3: my rough voice it says thank you. I Digress, episode

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Speaker 3: two hundred. This is awesome. Kara Goucher, what a big

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Speaker 3: way for me to come into this new let's call

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Speaker 3: it some new territory.

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Speaker 2: I loved catching up with Kara.

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Speaker 3: We kicked things off today by talking about Kara's recent

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Speaker 3: diagnosis of runners estonia, what that means, and how it's

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Speaker 3: affecting her emotionally and mentally. We also bring it back

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Speaker 3: to talk about how she fell in love with the

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Speaker 3: sport in the first place, with the help of her

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Speaker 3: late grandfather. Some really beautiful stories there and what it

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Speaker 3: was like losing him to COVID during the pandemic, plus

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Speaker 3: her journey to self acceptance and navigating disordered eating as

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Speaker 3: a college athlete, and the hard work that went into

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Speaker 3: her Olympic experiences is first as an athlete and then

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Speaker 3: most recently as a commentator for NBC. We cap things

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Speaker 3: off by talking about the recent campaign for Ultra that

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Speaker 3: we are both a part of highlighting that if you

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Speaker 3: have a body, regardless of what it looks like, you

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Speaker 3: are an athlete. I am so so grateful for Kara's

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Speaker 3: openness throughout this. This was truly such a joy, and

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Speaker 3: I am so amped to photo bomb her Boston Marathon coverage.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm kind of kidding, but not so much. I

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Speaker 2: can't wait to see you out there, Kara.

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Speaker 3: If you haven't done so yet, make sure you're subscribed

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Speaker 3: to the weekly Hurdle newsletter of The link to do

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Speaker 3: that is in the show notes. I would love to

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Speaker 3: be in your inbox every single Friday morning. The link

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Speaker 3: to join the Secret not So Secret Hurdler's Facebook group

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Speaker 3: is also in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: We'd love for you to come hang with that community.

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Speaker 3: Plus make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on

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Speaker 3: social at Hurdle podcast and I am over at Emily

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Speaker 3: a Body with that episode two hundred.

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Speaker 2: Let's get to hurdling.

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Speaker 4: Today.

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Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Cara Goucher.

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Speaker 3: She's a two time US Olympian, a World Championships silver medalist,

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Speaker 3: and arguably one of the most decorated female American distance

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Speaker 3: runners in history.

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Speaker 2: How are you?

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Speaker 4: I'm doing great.

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Speaker 1: As I was telling you before we recorded, I'm hanging out

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Speaker 1: my son's room today, so everything's good.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I just like casually asked you how

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Speaker 3: you're doing, but I feel like we need to like

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Speaker 3: collectively have a moment here where I really ask you

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Speaker 3: how you're doing because a lot has happened over the

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Speaker 3: last two years, not just because of gestures loosely the pandemic,

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Speaker 3: the panini, but because of like what's been going on

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Speaker 3: in your world.

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Speaker 2: So, Cara Goucher are you today?

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Speaker 4: You know? I am doing well.

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Speaker 1: I'm a lot like the last two years for me

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Speaker 1: have been very stressful and like for so many people,

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Speaker 1: but just a lot of stuff in my personal life

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Speaker 1: happening and issues with my health, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: a lot of the things that were stressing me out

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Speaker 1: are now done. I have a plan to navigate my health,

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Speaker 1: and the trip to Hawaii that my husband and said

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Speaker 1: and I were supposed to take two years ago is

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Speaker 1: happening in this coming Sunday. So I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: things are coming together. I'm leaving some things behind in

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Speaker 1: my past, and I feel excited about this week to

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Speaker 1: regroup together in a week coming up in a week.

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Speaker 3: I love this moment of gratitude for you. Okay, two

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Speaker 3: things to double click on here. The first thing to

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Speaker 3: double click on is you said it talking a little

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Speaker 3: bit about what you've been going on with your health.

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Speaker 2: Why don't you shed some light on that.

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Speaker 3: For the people who may be listening to this who

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Speaker 3: are not in the loop just yet.

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Speaker 1: Essentially, I passed out on a treadmill in December of

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, and from then on when I ran outside,

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Speaker 1: I started to have this really crazy slipping sensation, and

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Speaker 4: I could fall a lot.

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Speaker 1: I would always run across the street to the left

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Speaker 1: side of the road, and I couldn't stop my body

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Speaker 1: from doing that, which led me to fund like falling

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Speaker 1: it I fell into traffic, which finally led me to

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Speaker 1: admit something was wrong, which finally led me to see

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Speaker 1: a doctor. But then it was just like like searching

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Speaker 1: for a needle in a haystack, right Like I'd go

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Speaker 1: to this neuralogist and I'm like, my left foot slips

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Speaker 1: and I feel like someone's pushing me to the left,

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Speaker 1: and it was just like so hard to explain. And

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Speaker 1: so then of course, you know, you Mria the spine,

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Speaker 1: you Amri the brain. They found I had brain lesions,

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Speaker 1: so that took us down one path. We were worried

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Speaker 1: that it was MS. Eventually we realized it wasn't. I

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Speaker 1: started to feel a little bit better, and then last

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Speaker 1: fall everything came back in a much more severe way.

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Speaker 1: I was having a lot of problems walking, just being

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Speaker 1: a normal human, and so that led me to see

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Speaker 1: more doctors, and I got this diagnosis in November of

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Speaker 1: runners dystonia or focal dystonia, like dystonia had one part

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Speaker 1: of your body. And then I went to get a

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Speaker 1: second opinion. I went to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota

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Speaker 1: and it was confirmed. So now it's just sort of

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Speaker 1: learning how to live with this new diagnosis, which is confusing,

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Speaker 1: and I know most people are probably are like, what

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Speaker 1: the heck is runners dystonia, But essentially it's there is

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Speaker 1: no cure for it, and it's it's something that your

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Speaker 1: body's done a lot of times. Like we've heard of

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Speaker 1: musicians dystonia, like where their hands won't work, and essentially

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Speaker 1: that's what happened. My left leg does not work the

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Speaker 1: way it used to.

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Speaker 4: I really don't have.

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Speaker 1: Control over it, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

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Speaker 1: And so like the solution is medication. There's things to try,

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Speaker 1: but essentially cutting way back on the running that I do,

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Speaker 1: which for me is like devastating because I love running

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Speaker 1: so much. Right, So, it's been a crazy year, right

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Speaker 1: because I fluctuate between feeling gratitude that it's not something

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Speaker 1: more serious, but then all so angered that this is

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Speaker 1: happening to me. So I'm kind of like I've been

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Speaker 1: all over the place, you know, yeah all this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, how would you not be all over the place?

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Speaker 3: And it's hard to like find these moments of gratitude

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Speaker 3: when you're sitting in it. Last week, you know, I

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Speaker 3: was talking to someone about a very frustrating situation. She

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Speaker 3: said to me, how can you reframe this to think, Okay,

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Speaker 3: this is happening for me, but still like sitting there

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Speaker 3: and being like, yes, runners, dystonia is happening for me, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean it is funny to think

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Speaker 1: of it that way because the last scary thing we

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Speaker 1: thought I had when I couldn't walk was als and

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Speaker 1: obviously that's very very serious and that would that takes

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Speaker 1: people's lives and in a really difficult, horrible way. And

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Speaker 1: so you know, I'm trying to be grateful that. It's

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Speaker 1: not that I'm grateful to the running community that's shown

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Speaker 1: me so much support. I'm grateful to people like Justin

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Speaker 1: Galloway who have runners yestonia, who have just like opened

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Speaker 1: up to me. So there is is a lot of

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Speaker 1: good that's come from it. I feel like positive forces

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Speaker 1: in my life because of it. But at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, like I can't go for a run

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Speaker 1: out my front door, and so I'm still sort of

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Speaker 1: mourning that and like, you know, figuring out what this

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Speaker 1: really means for me long term.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean when you talked about it on Instagram,

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Speaker 3: you shared, I'm not sure where running ends and I begin.

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Speaker 2: We are so intertwined as one.

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Speaker 3: I'm unsure what the future holds, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: embrace it. Firstly, your words in that post where you

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Speaker 3: shared what was going on with you were so poignant

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Speaker 3: and beautiful and just like seriously piercing to the heart

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Speaker 3: for you. After sharing this openly, how did it feel

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Speaker 3: to kind of come out with what you had been

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Speaker 3: battling with for so long?

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Speaker 1: Personally, honestly, there was a lot of relief. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I was like in the last year, I had

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Speaker 1: two different worlds. One was like where I was shying

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Speaker 1: up this new opportunity of doing commentating and working at

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Speaker 1: track meets. In this other world where I was like

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Speaker 1: always afraid of what the next test was going to

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Speaker 1: be or how my body was going to be. So

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Speaker 1: I think finally telling like my very closest friends do,

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Speaker 1: but most of my friends didn't even know because I

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Speaker 1: don't know what's wrong with me. So it's hard to describe, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: especially like last summer, It's like I don't even know

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with me, So why would I let my

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Speaker 1: friend worry about it when I don't even know what?

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Speaker 1: Like I didn't even tell my aunt for so long

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Speaker 1: or anything, So there's relief in it being out there,

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Speaker 1: feeling like it's a weird diagnosis. And I think I

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Speaker 1: had some shame and like, oh, maybe I did this

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Speaker 1: to myself somehow, maybe.

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Speaker 4: I caused this.

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Speaker 1: But I think putting it out there made me feel better,

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Speaker 1: and like, you know what, I'm just going to tell

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Speaker 1: the truth. This is what's happening to me. And I

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Speaker 1: know it's not my fault, but you know, you still

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Speaker 1: have those thoughts.

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Speaker 2: So, yeah, you mentioned commentating.

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Speaker 3: Did you have to do anything special or specific to

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Speaker 3: take care of your health as you were doing all

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Speaker 3: this travel and really picking up hours and things like

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Speaker 3: that when you were commentating for the Olympics.

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Speaker 1: You know, honestly, when I was commenting at the Olympic,

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Speaker 1: I was on a really good stretch. I had gotten

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Speaker 1: better over the summer. I thought I still couldn't like

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Speaker 1: I still did this day. Can't run and turn a

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Speaker 1: right hand turn like a ninety degree turn, and I

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Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable running on the left side of the road.

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Speaker 1: But other than that, I like when I first started

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Speaker 1: running in the spring, my husband would run with me,

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Speaker 1: friends would run with me that knew what was going on.

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Speaker 1: But then I got to the point where I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, I just can't make a hard right hand

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Speaker 1: turn and I just have to run on the right side.

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Speaker 4: Of the road.

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Speaker 1: And so I was in a pretty good place when

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Speaker 1: I was at the Olympics. In fact, I ran a

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Speaker 1: couple times above the stadium, which is an extremely smooth surface,

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Speaker 1: which now I couldn't do that at all.

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Speaker 4: The only thing that.

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Speaker 1: Happened in Tokyo was every day, every time I entered

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Speaker 1: the stadium, so multiple times day I had to cross

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Speaker 1: this giant metal plate and I could not walk across

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Speaker 1: that plate. Something about it gave me that feeling like

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Speaker 1: I was going to fall, and so I would like

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Speaker 1: either hold someone's hand or.

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Speaker 4: I'd like touch the side as I crossed it. And

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Speaker 4: so that was.

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Speaker 1: Really the only thing at that point I felt like

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Speaker 1: I've overcome this, whatever it is, overcome it, you know,

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Speaker 1: just this weird time when I have to walk across

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Speaker 1: a metal plate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, what a crazy scenario for you, And I'm

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Speaker 3: sure something that's totally throwing you off your game when

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Speaker 3: you're trying to be so on your game. Going on

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Speaker 3: to international television, talk to me a little bit more

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Speaker 3: about that experience for you. I would imagine that as

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Speaker 3: an Olympian yourself. This was definitely a full circle moment.

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Speaker 4: It really was.

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Speaker 1: You know, I went to two Olympic Games, and the

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Speaker 1: first one, I was, you know, a metal favorite, and

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Speaker 1: I finished ninth in the event that I was a

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Speaker 1: medal favorite in. And then the second Olympics, you know,

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Speaker 1: I believed I had an outside chance and I ended

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Speaker 1: up finishing tenth. And so I was always sort of

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Speaker 1: like felt like I really let everybody down at the Olympics,

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Speaker 1: especially the first one oh eight. I felt like I

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Speaker 1: got really overwhelmed by the bigness of it and the

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Speaker 1: attention of it, and really got away from who I

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Speaker 1: was as an athlete, what made me perform well.

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Speaker 4: And so I just never.

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Speaker 1: Really like talked about the Olympics when like people meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: but the first thing they ask you when they find out.

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Speaker 4: You into the Olympics was did you win a medal?

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, ninety nine percent of us don't win

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Speaker 1: a medal, you know, And so I just always kind

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Speaker 1: of felt like sad when i'd look back, I had

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Speaker 1: like not positive memories with the Olympics. So I think

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Speaker 1: going there in this different role, I just appreciated all

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Speaker 1: of the athletes competing and granted I didn't get to

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Speaker 1: watch like the Olympics because I was living at the

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Speaker 1: stadium essentially, but I did not see one athlete who

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Speaker 1: didn't try their hardest, who didn't have their heart on

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Speaker 1: their sleeve. And for me, it was really healing kind

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Speaker 1: of because it made me think back at my time

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Speaker 1: at the Olympics and think, well.

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Speaker 4: I did do the best that I could on that day.

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Speaker 1: I did leave everything out there, and so why am

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Speaker 1: I impressed by this person?

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Speaker 4: But I feel like I failed.

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Speaker 1: For me, it was like a really really great experience

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Speaker 1: and it was really special and I felt really honored

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Speaker 1: to be able to help tell people's stories while they

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Speaker 1: were competing.

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Speaker 3: Kara, I've just got all like throw this into the

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Speaker 3: mix here. You're pretty hard on yourself.

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Speaker 4: Yes I am. I Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I've always been that way, like I just want to

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Speaker 1: make everybody proud.

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Speaker 4: It's a blessing and a curse. I think.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a blessing because it makes me work

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Speaker 1: really hard, but it's a curse because sometimes they can't

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Speaker 1: appreciate my own self, you know what I mean. It's

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Speaker 1: just always like, well, it could have been better. But

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Speaker 1: part of that too, is just the elite athlete mindset.

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Speaker 1: It's like, even if you win a medal, you're thinking like, well,

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Speaker 1: now what.

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Speaker 4: Could I do? You never really sit with the success.

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Speaker 1: You have, and then when you're past competing, like I am,

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Speaker 1: I look back and I'm like, wow, it's pretty good.

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Speaker 4: I wish I would have been nicer to myself. Wrote that

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Speaker 4: ten years span. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's so interesting to hear you talk and

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Speaker 3: reflect on like so many different experiences, but throughout all

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Speaker 3: of it you're like, well, what if I did this?

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Speaker 3: Or with what if I did that? Like talking about

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Speaker 3: your current diagnosis. And then I think, you know, the

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Speaker 3: other day, when I was prepping for this, I watched

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Speaker 3: an interview you did after the twenty sixteen marathon trials.

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Speaker 3: I feel like just saying that you like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: know exactly what interview this is, but I think it was.

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Speaker 2: For Let's Run dot com.

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Speaker 3: And you're just so sad, understandably so, because you came

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Speaker 3: in fourth in those trials and you said the sentence,

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Speaker 3: they were just better than me. When you when you

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Speaker 3: reflect on that, now, do you understand that statement not

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Speaker 3: to be true.

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Speaker 1: I mean they were better than me on that day.

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Speaker 1: On that day, they were and I lost three women

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Speaker 1: that were worthy. It wasn't like someone pulled this race

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Speaker 1: out that they were weren't capable of running. It's just

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Speaker 1: it's a tough sport, right, It's I mean, only three go,

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Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter how hard do you run or

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Speaker 1: how much. Like for me, I had pulled myself out

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Speaker 1: of two years of injury and I was really written

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Speaker 1: off at that point, and I pulled myself back to

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Speaker 1: be in a position to make that team. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it's taken me a long time to appreciate

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Speaker 1: the race that I did have at those trials. It

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Speaker 1: feel now like I did a really good job. But

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, that's always going to think that. One

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Speaker 1: is always going to say.

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Speaker 2: I hear that.

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Speaker 3: I mean not to mention talking about other moments where

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Speaker 3: you really had just like this valiant comeback the year

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Speaker 3: after having your son Colt coming back in such a

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Speaker 3: big way to hit an all time marathon. Pr talk

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Speaker 3: to me a little bit about how maybe you surprised

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Speaker 3: yourself in that moment.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I was under so much stress so

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Speaker 1: I had my son in the end of September twenty ten,

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Speaker 1: and less than seven months away was the Boston Marathon,

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Speaker 1: and I was like hell bent on doing that. You know,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know. I didn't know what it would be

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Speaker 1: like to have a newborn. I didn't know how long

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Speaker 1: it would take my body be healed. So it's kind

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Speaker 1: of interesting talking about that because I'm always like, I

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Speaker 1: really shouldn't have done that because I rushed so hard

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Speaker 1: to get back. I pushed my body and it wasn't

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Speaker 1: healed yet. And I feel like, especially in America, we

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Speaker 1: have this thing of like, oh, they got their body

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Speaker 1: back in six weeks or they were back doing this

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Speaker 1: in ten weeks, and I feel like in other countries

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Speaker 1: it's not like that. Like you had a baby, people

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that and they wait for you to be ready.

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Speaker 1: So I definitely have mixed emotions about that race. But

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Speaker 1: I was proud of how I ran. I was proud that,

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Speaker 1: you know, I put my nose in it, and I

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Speaker 1: think I ended up fifth, but I ran the best

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Speaker 1: time of my life. So I mean, you can't really

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Speaker 1: ask much more of yourself than that.

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Speaker 3: It seems to me, obviously such a beautiful event for

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Speaker 3: your life having your son. But it's like these really

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Speaker 3: big earth shattering events in our lives, these hurdles as

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Speaker 3: you as we call them for an athlete, a hurdle

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Speaker 3: of having a baby and coming back into the swing

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Speaker 3: of things. For you, so many of these really difficult

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Speaker 3: personal moments over the last couple of years.

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Speaker 2: They leave this.

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Speaker 3: Profound impact on us and inspire us to emerge in

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Speaker 3: a new or a different way than perhaps we were

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Speaker 3: before this.

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Speaker 2: Event happened for you.

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Speaker 3: Something else to touch on here, a really big hurdle

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Speaker 3: for you over the last couple of years, the loss

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Speaker 3: of your grandfather to COVID. I know that he was

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Speaker 3: the person that introduced you to running.

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Speaker 2: As a whole.

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Speaker 3: We'll talk to us a little bit about how that

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Speaker 3: was for you and your family back in twenty twenty.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I'll probably start crying, but it's okay.

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Speaker 2: I'm here for you.

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Speaker 4: I just love my grandpa so much.

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Speaker 1: And you know, my dad died when I was four,

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Speaker 1: and we moved in with my grandparents before my mom

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Speaker 1: bought a house, and my grandpa was just so supportive,

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Speaker 1: like he never treated us different than his grandson's. He

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Speaker 1: believed we could do anything. He and I had a

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Speaker 1: special bond because he was a lifelong runner and he

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Speaker 1: got me into running. So he would tell everybody this story,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure everyone at his retirement community was.

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Speaker 4: Just so bored of this story.

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Speaker 1: But when I was six years old, he took me

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Speaker 1: to this little fun festival and it was just a

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Speaker 1: mile race and they started the race and I got

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Speaker 1: pushed and fell, and he would tell the story that

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Speaker 1: I stood up and my knees were bleeding, and he thought,

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Speaker 1: oh great, I've ruined running for her, and instead I

400
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Speaker 1: was like, they're getting away from us. And he loved

401
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Speaker 1: to tell that story to show because I was very,

402
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Speaker 1: very shy. I still can be, but he would love

403
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Speaker 1: to tell that story that like, I was just this

404
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Speaker 1: little shy girl, but I had a ton of like

405
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Speaker 1: competitive nature, and I had things I wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: So that was the first time I ever ran. Was

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Speaker 1: that run with him, and he just was so supportive,

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Speaker 1: And obviously my running is so tied to him. I

409
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Speaker 1: think that's why I wanted Some of this diagnosis has

410
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Speaker 1: been difficult because that's when I feel closest to him.

411
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Speaker 1: But really, the last you know, I was always traveling

412
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Speaker 1: and doing things when I was an elite athlete. My

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Speaker 1: grandpa would call and leave a message and say, don't

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Speaker 1: worry about calling me back. I know how busy you are.

415
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Speaker 1: And I think when I started to move beyond running professionally,

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Speaker 1: I started to think, like, what are the things that

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Speaker 1: are most important to me right now? And that's seeing

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Speaker 1: my grandpa and my grandma, And so I put a

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Speaker 1: lot of effort into going to Minnesota three or four

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Speaker 1: times a year to spend time with them. And so

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Speaker 1: that's what happened in twenty twenty is I was there

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Speaker 1: for three weeks. My son had online learning, and so

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Speaker 1: we went to Minnesota and spend time with my mom

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Speaker 1: and my grandparents and my grandpa. Contract got COVID right

425
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Speaker 1: before we left, and a week later I flew back

426
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Speaker 1: and I was with him as he passed, and it

427
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: was just so hard and we hadn't been able to

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Speaker 1: see him only through a window for months, you know. Once, essentially,

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Speaker 1: once COVID started, so there was some anger that like

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00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 1: we followed the rules and someone else brought it in,

431
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Speaker 1: but then it was just so devastating. And around that time,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's when I feel like COVID became politicized,

433
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Speaker 1: and so there was a lot of people saying, well,

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Speaker 1: he's so old, who cares this? And that, you know,

435
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Speaker 1: And so that whole thing was so hard. And even

436
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: now if I say something, some random person will jump

437
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Speaker 1: in and say.

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Speaker 4: Let it go, or he was going to die anyway,

439
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 4: or you know what I mean.

440
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Speaker 1: But I think I was grateful to be there with

441
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Speaker 1: him when he died, but to watch him die so violently,

442
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: it was just so hard. I mean, I know people

443
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 1: lose loved ones all the time, but it really and

444
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 1: I knew he wouldn't live forever. He was ninety five,

445
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: you know, he wasn't going to live forever. But I

446
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: think in the way that he was taken and how

447
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,239
Speaker 1: he had to suffer as he was going, it just

448
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 1: it really hurts.

449
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 4: And he didn't deserve that.

450
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Thank you for sharing that

451
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 2: with us.

452
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 3: I mean we're talking about that reframing from earlier in

453
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 3: our conversation, right, and you talked about having this moment

454
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 3: when you were falling back from running professionally that you

455
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 3: had to ask yourself what is important to me? And

456
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 3: so if you who knows, like what would have happened,

457
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 3: Like if you went, you know, to the Olympics, and

458
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 3: you didn't have this like kind of come to Jesus

459
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 3: moment where you were like, what am I doing with

460
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 3: my life? Like what's important to me? And you didn't

461
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 3: spend all that extra time with him. How you would

462
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 3: feel now, despite already carrying around this heavy sadness right

463
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 3: about the circumstance that surrounded that difficult life event for you.

464
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 3: So to be able to have that kind of perspective

465
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: that you do have now is really really special.

466
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

467
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 1: No, I'm so grateful for the choices I made. My

468
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: husband was super supportive. Essentially from twenty sixteen on, I

469
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 1: was going multiple times a year, spending long weekends there,

470
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 1: and you know, of course you always want more time.

471
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: But I am so glad that I realized that before

472
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: it was too late, and that I spent good quality

473
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 1: time with him before it was too late. And so

474
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 1: I mean, really like, life is short, and sometimes you

475
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 1: get caught up in the day of the day, or

476
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: you get caught up in the grind, but like, at

477
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: the end of the day, what matters to you the most,

478
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: and for me, it really is my family, And so

479
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm glad that I realized that and was able to

480
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: have all those moments with him before he passed.

481
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 2: Definitely.

482
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: And you mentioned the loss of your father from a

483
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 3: really young age. I know that he was killed by

484
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 3: a drunk driver. You originally from Queen's and then moved

485
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 3: out to Minnesota shortly, I mean after that, talk to

486
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 3: me a little bit about perhaps your relationship with your mother,

487
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 3: having you know only her and then of course your grandparents, uh,

488
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 3: you know, as you were coming of age and coming

489
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: into sport.

490
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom is like one tough cookie. Like I

491
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: think I've only seen her cry like maybe twice in

492
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: my life. We're total opposites in that sense. We're like

493
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 1: all cry at the Folders commercial and like, I seriously

494
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: think I've only seen her like cry twice in my

495
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: entire life.

496
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 4: You know, she just was not the kind of mom.

497
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: She was always there, involved in everything, volunteering at everything,

498
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 1: going on field trips, at every single race, at every

499
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: single soccer came. But she wasn't the kind of mom

500
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: that made you that allowed you to like dwell in

501
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: self pity, you know, like it was always like there

502
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: are people who have it worse than us.

503
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 4: There we have this.

504
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: We always focusing on what we had versus what we

505
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: didn't have, And so I'm really grateful for her for

506
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: that because I feel like I am a glass half

507
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: full person. I do think I got that from her.

508
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 4: She.

509
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: Like I said, I love her and we're super close,

510
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,959
Speaker 1: but we have different personalities. She's a lot more stoic.

511
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm a lot more I don't know what the word

512
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: would be vulnerable. I don't know, uh, but she never

513
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: let us take no for an answer either. And I

514
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: mean she is the reason why, like I fought my

515
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,199
Speaker 1: high school to, you know, have assemblies for all the

516
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 1: sports that went to state, not just hockey and all

517
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: these things. Like I would complain about it and then

518
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: she'd be like, we'll do something about it. So she

519
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 1: really molded me into like sometimes you have to take

520
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: things into your own hands. You can't just complain about it.

521
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 1: You have to work to the make to be the change.

522
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: And so I just love her. She's so she's like

523
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 1: little and tiny, and my sisters and I are all

524
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 1: giants compared to her.

525
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: I'm the smallest.

526
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm five eight, and then my other sisters five ten,

527
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 1: and my little sister's six feet and she's like five three.

528
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: So she's just like this tiny little pocket rocket, but

529
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: she is powerful and she'd gets stuff done.

530
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 3: I would like to think that you're talking about her

531
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 3: as being one of these never let us take no

532
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,199
Speaker 3: for an answer kind of women, And I would argue

533
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 3: that you are certainly the same way, really standing up

534
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 3: for yourself as you went through your evolution as a

535
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: professional athlete.

536
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about coming.

537
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: Into your own in that way, right in really taking

538
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 3: pride in what you were capable of, but also then

539
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: standing up for yourself as you made your way through

540
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 3: the years.

541
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

542
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just non confrontational by nature. I was

543
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: always really shy, Like I couldn't even call someone on

544
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:24,959
Speaker 1: the phone and order a Pizzaide have to have my

545
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 1: mom do it for me. But I think as I

546
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: got older, and especially like once my son was born,

547
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: there were things in my life that started to bother me.

548
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: And you know, my husband is the exact opposite of me,

549
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: Like he is like confrontational, let's just get it out

550
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: in the open and get it done, where as I'm like, well,

551
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: well well let me think about it for like four months,

552
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: you know. But I think I just started, I think

553
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: having cult and having to advocate for him started to

554
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 1: sort of turn this tide in me to say, like,

555
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with pushing for equality, there's nothing wrong

556
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: with calling out things that are wrong.

557
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 4: And in fact, if you have a voice that people will.

558
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: Listen to and you don't use it, then you are

559
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: kind of part of the problem and you're not part

560
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: of the solution. It was not an overnight thing. I

561
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: think it started with giving birth, the cult and not

562
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: getting paid by my sponsor then started there. That's kind

563
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 1: of where it started to burn. And then as I

564
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 1: experienced other things, you know, I just became more and

565
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: more passionate about making sure that no other woman would

566
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: go through what I had gone through. So it's been

567
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: a long process and still sometimes I'm like, oh God,

568
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: don't quote me on that, But in general it's good.

569
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 3: You know, you said something on a podcast that I

570
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 3: listened to. I believe it was a grounded podcast, and

571
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 3: you said something that it's frustrating for you at times

572
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: because so many of the questions or specific events that

573
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 3: people ask you about are events that you look back

574
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 3: on and don't have the fondest memories of. Talk to

575
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: me a little bit about that, because I certainly can

576
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 3: relate to that as well, you know, to moments where

577
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 3: from the outside looking in, when you don't know much

578
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 3: about me, this looks super shiny and awesome, and someone

579
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 3: says something like, you have been doing so great without

580
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 3: knowing much more. So talk me through. You know where

581
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 3: some of those frustrations came from. In your glory moments

582
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 3: when you yourself you weren't that happy.

583
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean just that race you asked me about

584
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 1: Boston twenty eleven.

585
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 4: You know, everyone was like, oh my.

586
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 1: Gosh, you did so well. But I was I was

587
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: causing injury to myself. I felt like I had to

588
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: do that. I wasn't being paid by my sponsor, and

589
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: so behind the scenes, I was hating life. I felt

590
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: like I was sacrificing time with my child to like

591
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: prove to my sponsor that I was still a serious athlete.

592
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 1: I think, you know, it's just it's tough. Like even

593
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: the when I ran Boston the first time. You know,

594
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: my team that was a failure, according like to everyone

595
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: around me and my squad, and so.

596
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 4: When people would say, oh, two thousand and nine.

597
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: It was exciting, and I just like I just remember

598
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,479
Speaker 1: crying and my coach telling me, I messed up, and

599
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: you know.

600
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 4: So it's just it's it's tough.

601
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: And that's again, that's like what I don't want for

602
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: the next generation. I want them to take celebrate it.

603
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: Could you maybe do better? Sure, let's look to the

604
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: future then, but like, you just did this amazing thing.

605
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,399
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of the races that people

606
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: remember that I did behind the scenes, my life was

607
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 1: not very happy and things were not going that well,

608
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: and I would lose. Like I love running so much

609
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 1: my Grandpa instilled in me. He would always talk about

610
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: the freedom of losing your mind through movement, and I

611
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: love that. But I had years where I actually hated running.

612
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: I was just doing it. It became a job and

613
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: nothing was good enough for the people around me, and

614
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: like I actually didn't like running, And then I'd have

615
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: to remind myself, like no, no, no, I love this.

616
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: I have to get back to why I do it

617
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: and why I love it. But there were definitely years

618
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: where it was a tightrope walk.

619
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's h it doesn't usually take me, you know,

620
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 3: twenty six minutes to get to this point. But I

621
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: would love for us to circle back a little bit

622
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 3: and talk about some of those beginning years because hearing

623
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 3: that now in retrospect, I think it will actually help

624
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: a lot of women maybe that are listening to this

625
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 3: on their personal journeys, who are in this tightrope walk

626
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 3: moment on their path. So talk to us about a

627
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 3: little bit of those beginning years for you and running

628
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 3: and what really inspired you to keep up with it

629
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 3: and really lean into it professionally.

630
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 4: Yeah.

631
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: So for most of my childhood, like when I was younger,

632
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: it was just something my grandpa and I would do

633
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: and I wasn't serious.

634
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: You know.

635
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: Maybe we'd run down to the Minnowettan back from his house,

636
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 1: which it was just like a few miles, or maybe

637
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,479
Speaker 1: we'd go do a little race like the Mother's Day

638
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: Run or something, but it was nothing serious. I just

639
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: loved it, and I think I loved it because of him.

640
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: It was like my alone time with him. But then

641
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: when I was older, I joined organized running in middle school,

642
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful for the experience I had. I

643
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: ran for my middle school cross country in seventh grade,

644
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: and then that winter that the high school coach asked

645
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: me to come out for the high school track team,

646
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: and there was a little group of us seventh graders.

647
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: We'd bring our running shoes to school and we walked

648
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: down to the high school and we'd go to practice.

649
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: And so I ran with the same girls for six years.

650
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: I had the same coach for six years, and it

651
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: was always so about fun, about having fun, about believing

652
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: in each other. We won the state cross country championship

653
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: the four years that I was in high school, and

654
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: that's what my.

655
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 4: Coach focused on.

656
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I want some individual stuff, but

657
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: even he could tell when I was getting nervous, and

658
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: he'd be like, Hey, all you need to do is

659
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: do the best you can do so that we can

660
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: still get this team title. And he just made everything fun.

661
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: And the women, I mean, they're girls, but the women

662
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 1: that I trained with for their women now. But the

663
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: girls that I trained with, I'm still friends with them.

664
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: We are like bonded forever. We were so invested in

665
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: each other's success and in everybody meeting their own individual goals.

666
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: And I feel like, I don't know, I just feel

667
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: like I had the most lucky, charmed high school experience

668
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: with running, because it really showed me you could be

669
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: good and you could train hard and still love it

670
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: and still have fun.

671
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 4: And so that's like the stuff that I go back

672
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 4: to when.

673
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: I would resent running, I'd think about my friends and

674
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: how close we still are and how it bonded all

675
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: of us, and I'm just really grateful for that experience.

676
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,959
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you

677
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:32,760
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686
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700
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701
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702
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704
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705
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706
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707
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: Run with my AG one.

708
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709
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710
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711
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712
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:37,280
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713
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714
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,320
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715
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716
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,960
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717
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,800
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718
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,080
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719
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,480
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720
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:02,320
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721
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,840
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722
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723
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,000
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00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,840
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730
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731
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,880
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732
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733
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,800
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734
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 3: Sample pack today. For those that didn't have that like

735
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: team foundation in high school, maybe they just didn't consider

736
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 3: themselves athletic or the time, at the time, or what

737
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 3: have you, that really laid again that word foundation for

738
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 3: you going forward, both and like your athleticism, but also

739
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 3: in your credential for perhaps female friendships like special opportunity.

740
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: I a few years ago went to Nike Cross Nationals,

741
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 3: and I saw, for the first time, being someone who

742
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 3: only briefly was involved in team sports in high school,

743
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 3: I was exposed to just how beautiful it was to

744
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 3: see these young women truly.

745
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: Root for each other in a way that I had

746
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: never seen.

747
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 3: Like, yes, it's awesome and special and beautiful to go

748
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 3: to marathons and cheer on the sidelines for your friends

749
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 3: and run in marathons and all these things as an adult,

750
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 3: but as an adult woman, to see these young women

751
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 3: thriving in this atmosphere, it was unrivaled.

752
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I you know, I usually was the

753
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: first one from our team, and we'd go through the

754
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: shoot as quickly as possible to come around to cheer

755
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: on the rest of our teammates and even our teammates

756
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: that were not on varsity. We just loved each other.

757
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: I feel so lucky I had that, because I don't

758
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: think that everybody has that, and I do think some

759
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,800
Speaker 1: times there's this stereotype that like women can't work well together.

760
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: But that's the reason why I stayed with running was

761
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: because of those girls, and we're still friends. You know,

762
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: I went through puberty late in high school and I

763
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: slowed way down. In fact, my little sister, who was

764
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: an eighth grader, beat me, and I would have quit.

765
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: If it hadn't been for those girls. I would have

766
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: quit because I would have been like, this isn't fun anymore.

767
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: I used to be super good. I'm not anymore. Everything

768
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: is harder. I don't know this body. I'm embarrassed about

769
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: this body. But they wouldn't. They would never in a

770
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:31,919
Speaker 1: million years let me quit.

771
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 4: You know.

772
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: It was like this, this group of girls that we

773
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: just had each other's backs, and so without them, I

774
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: kind of quit when I was a junior in high school.

775
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then foreshadowing a little bit here, but when

776
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 3: you got to college, that kind of like late to

777
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 3: the game puberty moment contributed to a little bit of body.

778
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 2: Dysmorphia question mark when you became a college athlete.

779
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 3: So talk to us a little bit about what that

780
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 3: time was like for you, really stepping into your womanhead

781
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 3: while also trying to perform.

782
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 4: At that Yeah.

783
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 1: So I went to Colorado because they had a good

784
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 1: team and I wasn't running that well, but I thought,

785
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,439
Speaker 1: you know what I could probably make their varsity team

786
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,399
Speaker 1: and at least be a part of a team that's

787
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: trying to do something special. And it just was really

788
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I loved my college experience. I love Mark Wetmore.

789
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm still we still talk all the time. If I

790
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: ever ran another race, He's the one I would have

791
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: coached me. But it was it was serious. It was

792
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,399
Speaker 1: very different than my experience at East High School, where

793
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: we woul run to the grocery store and eat a

794
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: donut hole and then run back. You know, it was

795
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: very different. There were workouts, there was mileage, there was

796
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: a point to everything. You had to earn your spot,

797
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: so it was tough. And I would say, you know,

798
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: I was still sort of adjusting to my body because

799
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 1: I went through puberty so late. And then finally I

800
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: did sort of adjust to it and I started to

801
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: run really well. But then I felt all this pressure

802
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: to look different. And I think that the NCAA in

803
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: general has a problem with with female athletes and body issues,

804
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,720
Speaker 1: and specifically in track and field and cross country, no doubt.

805
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,800
Speaker 1: And so I just sort of became weird about food,

806
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,959
Speaker 1: like and a bunch of my teammates were weird about food,

807
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: so then I could justify it, like, oh, well, this

808
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: is how you have to do it when you get

809
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: to this level. And you know, I just it got

810
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: out of control. It did, and really, you know, it

811
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: was my mom that was like, you're not running next

812
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: fall unless you gained some weight. I was like, what

813
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: what do you mean. I'm an adult. I can do

814
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: what I want, you know, and she was like, no,

815
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: you're not. This is not healthy.

816
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 4: So I don't know.

817
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 1: It's tough because I feel like it's a hard thing

818
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: to avoid in cleeedeate running. But I feel like if

819
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: people talked about it more and it could be open,

820
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: like like my sister.

821
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 4: I was a fifth year.

822
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 1: My sister was a freshman and we were all ordering

823
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: salads and she ordered a burger. I just remember being

824
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: so jealous of her, like she can order a burger

825
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: and she is not worried about what that's going to

826
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: do to her, and I'm poking at this disgusting salad,

827
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: you know. And then I was like I want to

828
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: be like that again. I don't want to be like

829
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 1: this anymore. So I never judge disordered eating or eating

830
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: disorders because I know I had my own issues and

831
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: I know how hard they are to break. But I

832
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 1: do think we need a shift because not everyone should

833
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,879
Speaker 1: have this story of Yes, I went through a part

834
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: time where I wasn't fueling myself.

835
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean you just did shed some light

836
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: with that example. But aside from the weight loss that

837
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 3: you experienced, what was like an example of you taking

838
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 3: it too far?

839
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: I mean, it's all I thought about. I remember I

840
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,919
Speaker 1: started dating my husband and I wouldn't eat all day

841
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 1: because he would make He would make me eat, so

842
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: I would eat like just little tiny snacks throughout the day.

843
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 1: I'd probably run like ten miles. And I went to

844
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: his house and we were just dating and he was

845
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: going to make dinner. And then I got there and

846
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: he was like, I haven't gotten to the grocery store yet.

847
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: And remember thinking like I'm going to faint. I'm so hungry,

848
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: you know. He was like here, he opened a bag

849
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: of Dorito's and he was like, here, just have a

850
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: few and then we'll go to the store. And I

851
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: like couldn't eat it, and he was like eat it.

852
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 1: Eat This gonna make him sound so bad, but finally

853
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: he goes eat the fucking dorito, So like I had

854
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 1: to eat this derito, which is so crazy because now

855
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 1: I would eat whatever dorito's while I was training. But

856
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: at the time food was bad. There was some some

857
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: food was good, but most food was bad. And I

858
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: remember eating that dorito and thinking like, oh my god,

859
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: all my hard work is gone now because I ate

860
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 1: a dorito And he was like beyond annoyed with me, like,

861
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 1: what the hell?

862
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 4: Who am I dating? This girl? Is so weird? But

863
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 4: that's how it was. It was very controlling.

864
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: It's not that I wouldn't eat, but I was obsessed

865
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: with like how much I ate, what food I ate.

866
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: It was so so opposite of who I am now.

867
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: But I mean, I just think it's it's really hard

868
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: to not fall into those traps when you're a young woman.

869
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: To compare, I mean, even now, it's even worse because

870
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 1: that was before social media. So now you get to

871
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: see everybody with their perfect bodies all over social media.

872
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: You get to hear about it, you know, and so

873
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: now it's even more intense, and you're just at a

874
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: vulnerable place in your life. You're away from home, you're

875
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: learning who you are, and I think we have like

876
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 1: an epidemic of this. I feel grateful that I got

877
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: out of that, but it took a lot to get.

878
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 4: Out of that.

879
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 2: Talk to me about getting out of that, so.

880
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: I mean, really, my mom was like, you have to

881
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 1: gain some weight. So I just gained a few pounds,

882
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,399
Speaker 1: you know. I remember one of my teammates saying, oh,

883
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: you look so much better this season, and feeling like, oh,

884
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 1: like apple I heard was, Oh, no, I'm pat right.

885
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so crazy, but that's the way my

886
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: mind was working. When I graduated from college, I just

887
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: couldn't stay healthy. It was like I would train, my

888
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 1: coach would say, oh my gosh, you're starting to get

889
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: into great shape, and then I get another stress fracture.

890
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: And even though at that point I had really shifted

891
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: into treating my body better, I.

892
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 4: Just think I had done damage. I had dug a hole.

893
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 1: And so it really was like four years of injury

894
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 1: and not being able to race and always being frustrated,

895
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: and I just I just didn't want to live like

896
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: that anymore, you know. I mean that was like the

897
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: biggest emptis like I would be counting calories, like as

898
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: I'm eating, counting calories even.

899
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 4: It down, and I was just like, I don't want

900
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 4: to do this. Anymore.

901
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: There has to be more to life than me constantly

902
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,359
Speaker 1: worrying about what the scale is going to say. There

903
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 1: has like I'm not even happy any of the time.

904
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 1: I'm always nervous about what I'm going to weigh tomorrow morning.

905
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: It just was like, I can't, I can't live like this.

906
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: It's just not worth it. So I think a supportive family.

907
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: My then husband was super supportive, and I think it

908
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: was like surrounding myself with people that were like, you

909
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 1: got to get healthy, Like you're talented, it'll come back,

910
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 1: but you have to get healthy and not they weren't

911
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: shaming me. I mean, minus the fucking Dodo comment. They

912
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: weren't shaming me. It was like kindness, like you can

913
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 1: be who you used to be and be healthy. And

914
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,280
Speaker 1: so again, I feel lucky that I had the family

915
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,760
Speaker 1: that I have and the husband that I have, because

916
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: it would have been really easy to walk away from

917
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:49,919
Speaker 1: running at that point.

918
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is a really easy segue

919
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 3: for us to talk about the campaign that you're just

920
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 3: both a part of for Ultra sharing our experiences in

921
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 3: our own unique runners' bodies, and you're saying that this

922
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 3: is a broad problem for female athletes in college.

923
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,760
Speaker 2: But I mean, this is a problem for women everywhere. Right.

924
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 3: You mentioned social media and how that can just rub

925
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 3: in our faces quote unquote what perfection is based on

926
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 3: whoever's definition, and it can just be so overwhelming.

927
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 2: I am a size six eight.

928
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 3: Depending on the day, and I go to the track

929
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 3: and more often than not, I feel, as a size six'

930
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 3: eight That i'm the biggest person at the. Track that

931
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 3: shouldn't Be how that shouldn't be the first thing THAT

932
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 3: i think about WHEN i step onto the track.

933
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: PERIOD i, know but that's so. RELATABLE i mean that

934
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: was my entire elite. Career i'm five. EIGHT i, weighed you,

935
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: know one point thirty most of the. TIME i get

936
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: down to the mid one. Twenties right before a big,

937
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: RACE i was outweighing my competitors by twenty to thirty. Pounds,

938
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 1: crazy and so my mom would always, SAY i love

939
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 1: it BECAUSE i can always pick you, out you.

940
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 4: Know but LIKE i, was, LIKE i don't look like.

941
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: That AND i know when some people hear, this they,

942
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: think what the hell are you talking? About you are

943
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: thin AND i am, Thin but it's always that comparison.

944
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 1: Game AND i wasn't as thin as my, competitors even

945
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: as an elite, athlete even THOUGH i was crazy. Thin

946
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 1: but you know WHAT i, Mean it's like it's all in.

947
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 1: Context and, yeah like even After i'd made the choice

948
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: THAT i was going to be, healthy it still would

949
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: be an. ISSUE i, MEAN i would have coaches be, like,

950
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 1: oh you're from The, midwest that's why you're so. HEARTY i,

951
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 1: mean this is When i'm an elite athlete Making olympic,

952
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: teams and these are not my, coaches just other, coaches

953
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:46,879
Speaker 1: and so it it's so hard to remind yourself LIKE i.

954
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: CAN'T i have to be, strong LIKE i. WILL i

955
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: will lose all the things that make me a good.

956
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: Runner IF i lose that next five, POUNDS i will

957
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 1: lose all my, Power i'll lose all my, STRENGTH i

958
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 1: won't be able to kick. Anymore all the things that

959
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 1: make me Special i'll lose IF i lose five more.

960
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: Pounds but you're just inundated with like everyone's abs and

961
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: everyone's arms and everyone's, calves and it's so. HARD i

962
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 1: really really worry about the next generation because everything is so.

963
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: Public and not only is it public with where you

964
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: see all these, photos but people can make comments and

965
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,839
Speaker 1: comments are so triggering for.

966
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 4: Us, yeah it's just it's so.

967
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 3: Tough it is, tough and you, know it's so interesting you,

968
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 3: saying you, know being one way and then dropping a

969
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 3: little bit before the. Race AND i think that me

970
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 3: as well relating to that. Sentiment thinking even as recently

971
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: as going into the Last New York, marathon LIKE i

972
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: Ran New york last year AND i didn't have the best,

973
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 3: day AND i thought about WHAT i was doing in

974
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,360
Speaker 3: the week's leading up to that, race and in the

975
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,959
Speaker 3: weeks leading up to that, RACE i was arguably, Underfueling

976
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 3: LIKE i was.

977
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: Thinking about quote unquote putting good things into my.

978
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 3: Body but in that PROCESS i showed up and by

979
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 3: mile eight of the, MARATHON i was completely. Depleted and

980
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 3: you get to these moments WHERE i felt like you

981
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 3: did in that interview after twenty Sixteen.

982
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 2: Trials it was, like in that, MOMENT.

983
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 3: I didn't put my best foot forward BECAUSE i wasn't

984
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 3: prioritizing WHAT i should have been. PRIORITIZING i should have

985
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 3: eaten all THE i, mean maybe not all the, croissants

986
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 3: BUT i should have eaten the, croissants AND i should

987
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 3: have done all these. Things BUT i was so worried

988
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 3: about a few pounds that didn't. Matter, yeah WHEN i

989
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,799
Speaker 3: think about like this campaign and like what it is

990
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 3: that we are coming together to, say it's just like

991
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 3: celebrating the fact that, literally if you have a, body

992
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 3: you're a. Runner but if you have a body that

993
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 3: you have worth.

994
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 1: Period, yes it's SO i mean there's a few PEOPLE

995
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: i follow in social who are so awesome with, this

996
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: like the are this is my. Body i'm proud of my.

997
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: Body it is what it, is you, Know i'm not

998
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: going to change it for your. Standards the truth of

999
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: the matter is that any of us that get out

1000
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 1: there and move our, body we are in the. Community

1001
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: we can relate to each. Other AND i, think like

1002
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,959
Speaker 1: that's the thing with social media that's so dangerous because

1003
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: we're really just seeing one percent of our community on

1004
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: social media and by the, way they're Chasing olympic. DREAMS

1005
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,359
Speaker 1: i get, it you, know but it makes a lot

1006
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: of the rest of us feel, like, WELL i don't

1007
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: look like, that AND i can't run that, FASTER i

1008
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: can't run that, far or and it makes you feel

1009
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: like you're less, worthy which is like so.

1010
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 4: Sad, yeah like that.

1011
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,760
Speaker 1: You don't have worth because you can't run a marathon

1012
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: or you weigh over two hundred pounds or whatever it,

1013
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 1: is instead of, saying, LIKE i look, different BUT i

1014
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 1: love running and we're almost, together you.

1015
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 3: Know, yeah with everything that you are navigating now with your,

1016
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 3: health how do you maintain or maybe you don't and

1017
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 3: we can talk about, that but a level of grace

1018
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 3: and kindness with yourself because you can't move how you

1019
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 3: would like.

1020
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 1: To, YEAH i mean over the last, YEAR i have

1021
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: put on, weight if we're being, honest AND i, IT

1022
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 1: i don't love. It like here's the thing, IS i

1023
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: know that shaming my body and all this stuff is,

1024
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 1: wrong but it is so hard to get rid of

1025
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: those voices. Forever LIKE i don't Think i'll ever fully

1026
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: get rid of those.

1027
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 2: Voices like, HUMAN i, mean that's my.

1028
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 3: Perspective like to each their own, right like to each

1029
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 3: the like all the power to someone who truly believes

1030
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 3: genuinely in their soul that like they are the second

1031
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 3: coming of like who knows. What Like i'm so proud

1032
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,280
Speaker 3: of you that you are in that place a body

1033
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 3: acceptance and. Gratitude but body acceptance doesn't mean that you

1034
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 3: don't have days where you stand in front of the

1035
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 3: mirror and you're, like, wow my thighs look really stellar,

1036
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 3: today like being. Sarcastic like body acceptance is knowing that

1037
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 3: you can have that, day but you still have gratitude

1038
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,320
Speaker 3: for what your body can do.

1039
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: Right and you still give yourself permission to enjoy the

1040
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 1: dinner with your. Family AND, i, YEAH i just think,

1041
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 1: like ugh it it. WILL i do get frustrated BECAUSE

1042
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: i feel Like i'm forty three AND i shouldn't be

1043
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: worrying about this stuff. Anymore but it's just. True it's

1044
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 1: been ingrained in me that somehow my body has to

1045
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 1: look a certain. Way SO i have games some way

1046
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: over the last. Year but the most important thing for

1047
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 1: me Is i'm addicted to. Movement so If i'm having

1048
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,319
Speaker 1: a bad day AND i can't, RUN i still have

1049
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: to do. Something i'm not, Like i'm not the kind

1050
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: Of i'll take a day off here and. There of

1051
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,439
Speaker 1: Course i'm not like totally, insane But i'm, Like, Okay

1052
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 1: i'm having a bad day and now it's a second bad,

1053
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: Day LIKE i have to do. Something SO i got

1054
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 1: really into The Kura stokes fit app AND i still use,

1055
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: it BUT i was doing all sorts of, stuff LIKE

1056
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: i would scroll Through instagram and like like search and

1057
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: THEN i would like say workouts that people were showing

1058
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 1: just BECAUSE i need to move my body and in

1059
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,360
Speaker 1: some like in some, WAYS i feel Like i'm stronger

1060
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 1: in different, Ways like my upper body is definitely way

1061
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 1: stronger than it was a year.

1062
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 4: Ago but you, know.

1063
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 1: It's it's always like a, battle LIKE i want to

1064
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: run more because that's What i'm used to, doing BUT i.

1065
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,319
Speaker 4: Can't NOW i have to do this other.

1066
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: Thing but Now i'm starting To i'm starting to appreciate

1067
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: the other things that my body can.

1068
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 3: Do, yeah when you it's so funny that you said

1069
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 3: The Kia stokes. App Kia stokes is a, hurdler been

1070
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 3: on the, show And, god no wonder why your upper

1071
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 3: body is stronger now because that.

1072
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 5: Woman, seriously the first TIME i did one of her,

1073
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 5: WORKOUTS i was like everything hurt for like, days but

1074
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 5: it was glorious because it was, like, wow that was

1075
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 5: only twenty minutes and obviously it did something in my

1076
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 5: body that has never been done.

1077
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 4: Before so it was like this weird high to be

1078
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 4: sore like a.

1079
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 3: Runner who's like used to being out there for like you,

1080
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 3: know three hours at a, time and here you are

1081
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 3: like working out in twenty minutes.

1082
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 4: Minutes and my arm is like giving out underneath, me.

1083
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: Reclaiming all of this time for.

1084
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 3: YOURSELF i mean that's something else, though, Right LIKE i,

1085
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 3: mean we made this reference before about finding the silver

1086
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 3: lining of falling back from professional running and being able

1087
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 3: to spend more time with your.

1088
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 2: Family would you say.

1089
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 3: That over you, know the last ten to fourteen months

1090
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,959
Speaker 3: of navigating this unforeseen health. Crisis is that something else

1091
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 3: that you're finding a lot of gratitude in these?

1092
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: Days?

1093
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.

1094
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 1: ABSOLUTELY I we actually bought a little house In, minnesota

1095
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 1: right by my, mom in the same city that my

1096
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 1: sister lives in as.

1097
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 4: Well and you, KNOW I i you go through stages in.

1098
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: LIFE i, think my grandpa died and then my grandma

1099
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: died last, year AND i really think about life is.

1100
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,719
Speaker 1: Short you, know my, Dad i'm older than my dad.

1101
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: Was i've outlived my dad by nine years, already AND

1102
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: i think about like how short life can, be AND

1103
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: i think about what really, Matters and so for, me

1104
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: WHEN i think of, HAPPINESS i think of writing the

1105
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: tractor with my grandparents and jumping in the lake off the,

1106
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 1: rock and so Then i'm, LIKE i need to prioritize.

1107
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: That AND i know That i'm in a fortunate situation

1108
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 1: financially WHERE i can do, that BUT i do think

1109
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: we can all do that to a certain. Extent Like

1110
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 1: i'm still going to work, Hard i'm still going to

1111
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: get my jobs, Done i'm still going to deliver on

1112
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 1: WHAT i need to deliver. On BUT i also give

1113
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 1: me myself permission to enjoy the small things that really

1114
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: make me. Happy and So i've spent so much more

1115
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,479
Speaker 1: time with my family over the last, year last two, years,

1116
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: really and it makes me so. Happy it makes me feel,

1117
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: fulfilled and it makes me feel Like i'm spending time

1118
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: doing something that is making my heart. Full And i've

1119
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 1: like just started to shift to that's the most important,

1120
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: thing is like being, present being, happy experiencing. Happiness you,

1121
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: know like the memories of all of that is what carries.

1122
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 1: Me it's not, stuff, yeah you, know it's like the

1123
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: memories and the.

1124
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: Experiences to pivot back to where we were for just

1125
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 3: a second when we were talking about our discussion about

1126
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 3: navigating what is your quote unquote new body over the

1127
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 3: last couple of years for? You when that conversation does

1128
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 3: shift a little bit negative or does skew a little bit?

1129
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 3: Negative where do your thoughts go to kind of bring

1130
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 3: it back full circle and kind of reel yourself.

1131
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 1: In, Yeah LIKE i, MEAN i had to melt down

1132
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 1: the other day because my son was willing to run

1133
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: with me AND i couldn't do.

1134
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 4: IT i was having a bad.

1135
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 1: Day and Then i'm like spiral lying And i'm like

1136
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 1: this is going to ruin my, life and you, know

1137
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: but THEN i just have to take a deep breath and, say,

1138
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 1: HEY i haven't lost everything the things that really matter

1139
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 1: to me. HERE i have a great team of people

1140
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 1: who are helping. Me they're going to help me get

1141
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 1: back to as much AS i. Can and you know

1142
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: what's more important like running two miles of cult or

1143
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,319
Speaker 1: just like really being there for him in life all the.

1144
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 1: Time and So i'm always trying to Like i'm always

1145
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 1: trying to be grateful and not to the point where

1146
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: it's like, Annoying Like i'm like, yay and LIKE i have.

1147
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 4: This fool hous. ER i have a great. CAR i

1148
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 4: have new running.

1149
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 1: Shoes you, know it's not not like, that but like

1150
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 1: the big, Things, HEY i have a loving supportive husband

1151
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:33,240
Speaker 1: Who i've. Had i've been married to him for twenty,

1152
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: years AND i am so proud of our. MARRIAGE i

1153
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: have a son who works so hard and has taught

1154
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 1: me so many THINGS i, have you know WHAT i,

1155
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:44,120
Speaker 1: mean just like focusing on the things that really really

1156
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:44,879
Speaker 1: matter in.

1157
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 3: Life, Yeah AND i even do think that some of,

1158
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 3: those like little things like having new running. SHOES i

1159
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 3: mean every morning WHEN i, journal at the end of

1160
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 3: the page AND i just like try to stick it

1161
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 3: out for one page every, morning even When i'm like

1162
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 3: what's going on in the, World but at the end

1163
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 3: of the, page all, right one, highlight one gratitude for

1164
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,319
Speaker 3: the last twenty four. Hours and sometimes it can be

1165
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 3: something as simple as LIKE i got some really great

1166
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 3: new trail shoes, Yesterday LIKE i got the like not,

1167
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 3: SPONSORED i got The Ultramont, blancs And i'm like obsessed with.

1168
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 2: Them i've been.

1169
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:18,280
Speaker 3: Running i've been going To Prospect park and like running

1170
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 3: on the dirt trails Because i'm, like, oh these are

1171
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 3: a great pair of new. Sneakers but those little gratitudes

1172
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 3: they can really add up to something very.

1173
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 4: Big they do add.

1174
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: UP i think it's easy to SAY i can't run

1175
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 1: the WAY i. Want i'm losing WHAT i. Want i'm

1176
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 1: never gonna be able to do. This i'm never going

1177
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: to be able to do that fifty mile. HER i

1178
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 1: wanted to do, spiral, spiral. Spiral there's there's war going,

1179
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,719
Speaker 1: on you, know it's easy to like spiral out of

1180
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: control and so and it's. Okay the other thing is

1181
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,720
Speaker 1: it's okay to have a bad, Day like it's okay

1182
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:48,799
Speaker 1: to be. Sad like my mom did teach me, that

1183
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 1: like WHEN i wouldn't Like i'd try so hard to win,

1184
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: SOMETHING i wouldn't win, it and she'd be, like be

1185
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: sad for a, day cry it, out do what you

1186
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: need to, do and then tomorrow wake up and set

1187
00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: like a new. Goal SO i don't think that it's

1188
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 1: like you can't have a bad, day but it's taking

1189
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: a step back and saying, Like, Okay i'm having a bad.

1190
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: Day but just like you, SAID i, MEAN i love

1191
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 1: some new fresh. Kicks don't get me. Wrong i'm like

1192
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:11,800
Speaker 1: open smell AND i get soaker. Excited, yeah the smell

1193
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 1: is so LIKE i will be in my nineties sniffing

1194
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: shoes out of a. Box but it's like it's, okay

1195
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 1: it's just trying to focus back on. Positive AND i

1196
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: think that's as an elite athlete how it. Was you,

1197
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 1: Know i'd be racing And i'd start to get overwhelmed

1198
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 1: And i'd be, Like i'm. Tired they look better than,

1199
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 1: Me and Then i'd always try to focus on one

1200
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 1: thing that was telling, me, Like, cary you're doing this,

1201
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 1: Right like you're breathing is still.

1202
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 4: Controlled you're still in.

1203
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: This and so that applies to, life you, know like

1204
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,720
Speaker 1: always finding the positive and it's around.

1205
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 4: You it really, is even if it's just some new, shoes.

1206
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 2: Even if it's just some new.

1207
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 3: Shoes you, know we have touched on a lot of

1208
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:52,240
Speaker 3: like difficult moments over our chat, here BUT i would love,

1209
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:57,240
Speaker 3: to as we reflect on positives and, gratitude circle back

1210
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,359
Speaker 3: and perhaps if you could, share maybe what have been

1211
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,359
Speaker 3: some of the most joyous moments for you in your.

1212
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 2: Career that's a great.

1213
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: QUESTION i think my family all came out to the

1214
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 1: twenty Sixteen Olympic, trials and even though it didn't go

1215
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 1: how we had, hoped it meant so much to me

1216
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 1: that everyone, came and even my high school teammates. Came

1217
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 1: even though the race didn't go HOW i had. DREAMED

1218
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: i felt so much. Support SO i actually look back

1219
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,760
Speaker 1: at the twenty sixteen trials as like it's always gonna,

1220
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:31,280
Speaker 1: hurt but it also reminds me of like that people

1221
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: love me no matter, what you know WHAT i. Mean

1222
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 1: WHEN i made The olympic team in twenty, twelve my

1223
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 1: tune up race was in my hometown of The, Bluth,

1224
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,439
Speaker 1: minnesota and that's probably the best most Fun i've ever

1225
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 1: had in a, race you. KNOW i mean it was like,

1226
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 1: crazy like people were yelling things like we were in

1227
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: biology together and your son AND i you, know your

1228
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 1: son or my son was with you in math or.

1229
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: Whatever but it was just so, fun and like my

1230
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 1: grandparents were at the finish, line my high school coaches

1231
00:56:57,360 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: at the finish, line and it just felt, like, YEAH

1232
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: i had moved, away AND i had traveled around the,

1233
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: world but at the end of the, day LIKE i

1234
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: just was so happy to be home.

1235
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 4: There.

1236
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah SO i think that's probably my favorite race memory

1237
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,240
Speaker 1: THAT i. Have And colt was born, then so even

1238
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: he was like wearing his little umb bulldog you, know hockey,

1239
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: jersey and it just felt so great to run and

1240
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 1: perform well in front of. People who've had my back

1241
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: SINCE i was.

1242
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 3: TWELVE i mean it goes back to what your high

1243
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 3: school coach was saying and something that at times totally

1244
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 3: got lost along the way because of getting caught up

1245
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 3: in all of the craziness that goes hand in hand

1246
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 3: with being at this elite. Level it was about having

1247
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 3: fun and when you found the fun, again you.

1248
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 2: Were able to perform even.

1249
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 4: Better.

1250
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: Yeah and you, know like WHEN i look back at my,

1251
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: CAREER i think when WAS i as an elite?

1252
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 4: ATHLETE i think when WAS i the?

1253
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 1: Happiest AND i was the happiest training for the twenty

1254
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 1: Sixteen Olympic. Trials that is the happiest time of my

1255
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 1: life as an elite Ath Why mark What more And

1256
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 1: Heather boroughs that coaches AT SeeU brought me. In they

1257
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 1: believed in, Me my family believed in. ME i WAS

1258
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: i didn't have any performance clauses and contracts. ANYMORE i

1259
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: didn't have any race you know. REQUIREMENTS i was doing

1260
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: it for. ME i was thirty, seven AND i was

1261
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 1: getting to do it BECAUSE i loved, it and so

1262
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 1: many people invested in it with me and, said you,

1263
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: know we're going to take this ride with, You LIKE

1264
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: i could start crying WHEN i think About mark And,

1265
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: heather my, coaches and how MUCH i mean they would

1266
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: shovel the track for. Me they KNOW i hate running on.

1267
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: ICE i would warm up and meet them somewhere And

1268
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: mark would be, like, ooh there's a little ice over.

1269
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 1: There we'll come back and meet you in two. Hours

1270
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: go home and take a quick. Nap like they were

1271
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: just so, invested AND i felt LIKE i was doing

1272
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 1: it for all of the right. REASONS i felt LIKE

1273
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 1: i had found my way back to WHY i was doing,

1274
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: it and LIKE i, said even though it didn't end

1275
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 1: the WAY i, wanted.

1276
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 4: That's, like WHEN i look, back that's the HAPPIEST i

1277
00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 4: ever was.

1278
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 3: Training you never, forget AND i mean it sounds, cliche

1279
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 3: but you never forget how people make you feel and

1280
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 3: if you feel or felt during that time supported and

1281
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 3: valued and important and like part of a. Team like

1282
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 3: that's something that no one will ever be able to

1283
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 3: take away from, you whether or not you went to

1284
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 3: The olympics or.

1285
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 1: Not, Yeah i'm, SO i, like really look back at

1286
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 1: that AND i usually get, emotional BUT i THINK i

1287
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 1: already cried About Papa's so it was such a happy.

1288
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 1: Time and even after the, race you, KNOW i finished

1289
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 1: fourth AND i didn't make, it AND i was, Like

1290
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 1: i'm so sorry to, them and they were, like, no we're,

1291
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: sorry we are. Sorry we know how hard you worked

1292
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: and maybe we dropped the. Ball and it was just

1293
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:43,440
Speaker 1: such a different experience THAN i had ever had as

1294
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: an elite, athlete WHERE i really felt like we were

1295
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 1: all truly a. Team, yeah and they were going to

1296
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 1: take ownership in the mistakes that we made or didn't,

1297
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 1: make you, know like it just felt, LIKE i don't,

1298
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 1: KNOW i was just so happy during that.

1299
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 4: TIME i was so fulfilled during that.

1300
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 2: Time what are you excited about right? Now?

1301
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 4: Jeez going To? Hawaii, yes going To.

1302
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 1: HAWAII i think my work With, Wazel i've like shifted

1303
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: from athlete to a more advisory role and you, know

1304
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 1: looking at athletes right now and who might fit in with,

1305
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 1: us and then other projects we could be. Doing So

1306
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: i'm super excited About wazel BECAUSE i feel like my

1307
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 1: opinion really matters. THERE i feel Like i'm taken seriously.

1308
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: There i'm really excited about my relationship With ultra and

1309
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: all the things that they're. DOING i feel like they're

1310
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: really growing as far as like knowing who they are

1311
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: and expanding to The, roads which is exciting to me

1312
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 1: because OBVIOUSLY i love The. Roads And i'm, Like i'm

1313
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,920
Speaker 1: hoping THAT i get to work FOR nbc again this,

1314
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 1: summer so we'll. See But i'm excited about more opportunities

1315
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: to work in the, commentation like being a, commentator And

1316
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 1: i'm super excited About boston BECAUSE i got that. Job

1317
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: and the men's race is going to be. Amazing this

1318
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: is not just like the men but the women's race is.

1319
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:07,040
Speaker 1: INSANE i mean literally every Good american marathon female marathon

1320
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,480
Speaker 1: will be there except for The american record, holder WHICH

1321
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 1: i know is a big, loss but like everybody else

1322
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: will be, there And i'm super excited to see when

1323
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 1: we don't avoid racing each, other what will.

1324
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 2: Happen why are you like throwing off the.

1325
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: GAME i mean she's you, know she's allowed to like

1326
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 1: recover and build back. UP i mean she did run two,

1327
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: nineteen SO i guess we'll.

1328
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 3: Ever kira is my New kira was on the show

1329
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 3: recently and she was the one who said this that

1330
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 3: we are now BFFs for life and we have uppending

1331
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 3: cookie eating tour Of New, york which you are more

1332
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 3: than welcome to come join us on BUT i will

1333
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 3: send her this clip And, kira you need to know

1334
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 3: That kara AND i are going to miss you In.

1335
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 4: Boston, oh she will be missed for.

1336
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 1: SURE i keep thinking, like, oh maybe she'll come in last,

1337
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: minute BUT i think that she's probably being smart and

1338
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: recovering from an amazing effort and thinking about what's. Next

1339
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 1: i'm super excited about that. RACE i just feel like

1340
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 1: it's gonna be super. Exciting AND i feel like in twenty,

1341
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:09,840
Speaker 1: eighteen when des one was that twenty eighteen or twenty,

1342
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: seventeen it was twenty, eighteen twenty. Eighteen that year we

1343
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 1: had a ton of Good american. Women like WHEN i was,

1344
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 1: racing we didn't really race each, other Like i'll go To,

1345
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 1: london you go To, Boston i'll go To New, york

1346
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: you go To. Chicago it was just like we didn't

1347
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: really meet head to. Head and in twenty, eighteen that

1348
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: was an incredibly Deep american field and dos one and

1349
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 1: SO i feel LIKE i feel like it could.

1350
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 2: HAPPEN i think it's gonna happen. Again board.

1351
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 3: DOES i don't want us to lose out on her

1352
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 3: her big glout and glory moment from that.

1353
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 6: Time, YEAH i, know but you know, what that will

1354
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 6: always be the most Epic boston win. EVER i mean

1355
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 6: the fact that she like the, conditions the fact that

1356
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 6: she had resigned herself to help, others and then she was, like,

1357
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 6: WAIT i feel better than everybody.

1358
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:54,120
Speaker 1: ELSE i, mean it was like so, Epic LIKE i

1359
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 1: could not believe it was. HAPPENING i was like screaming

1360
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 1: at THE.

1361
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 4: Tv crime and that can never be taken away.

1362
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 2: From, her, never absolutely.

1363
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 3: Never, Well i'm excited for our not yet, confirmed but

1364
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 3: one hundred percent Happening Boston marathon, cheerstation which you AND

1365
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 3: i will both be you AND i will both be. At,

1366
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:18,840
Speaker 3: yes it's going to be, great. Perfect, Okay so winding

1367
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 3: down right. Now IF i was to go to Your instagram, Page,

1368
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 3: CARAGUCHER i see a, runner a two Time, olympian someone

1369
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 3: with almost like two hundred thousand people following. Her when

1370
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 3: you look in the, mirror what is it that you

1371
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 3: see looking back at?

1372
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 4: You, oh that is a really really good. QUESTION i you,

1373
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 4: Know i'm just like.

1374
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:44,880
Speaker 1: THIS i SOMETIMES i feel Like i'm just this small

1375
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 1: town girl From, Duluth, minnesota and, like at some point

1376
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: someone's going to, realize Like i'm not that cool AND

1377
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: i don't know, everything and LIKE i do sometimes feel

1378
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: that Like i'm just a small town.

1379
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 4: Girl WHAT i don't. Know WHEN i look in the.

1380
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:59,919
Speaker 1: Mirror first of, ALL i see my mom Because i'm,

1381
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 1: aging and it's crazy how MUCH i look like her.

1382
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 1: Now BUT i just see someone who cares a. LOT i,

1383
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: MEAN i, think, like if there's a legacy to be,

1384
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 1: left WHAT i would want people to remember me by

1385
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: is THAT i cared and THEN i tried to protect

1386
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: other people AND i tried to fight for what was.

1387
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 1: Right that's super important to me AND i and That

1388
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 1: i'm a mother and a. Wife that's really important to me.

1389
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 1: Too but just THAT I i will you come to

1390
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 1: me AND i will help, YOU i will fight for,

1391
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 1: YOU i will be there for. You that's WHO i

1392
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 1: want to, be and that's what most of the TIME i.

1393
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 1: See but SOMETIMES i just see like a really, tired

1394
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:34,240
Speaker 1: forty three year old.

1395
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 4: Woman in the, mirror And i'm, like how DO i get?

1396
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 4: HERE i used to be.

1397
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 3: FUNNY i, mean, obviously over the course of the last,

1398
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 3: hour there were so many things we could have gotten

1399
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 3: into that we. Didn't one THING i do want to

1400
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 3: just touch on very, quickly is your work with The

1401
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:51,480
Speaker 3: Clean Sport collective and you just started a new season

1402
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 3: of the Podcast in, podcasting what would you say has

1403
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 3: probably been one of your greatest gifts by diving into

1404
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 3: that for, You.

1405
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: Oh, WELL i Think i'm really shy so asking people

1406
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,080
Speaker 1: to come, On LIKE i was like when we Have

1407
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: Alison felix, ON i was like, Shaking LIKE i was,

1408
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 1: LIKE i just.

1409
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:09,960
Speaker 4: Want to do her.

1410
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: Justice BUT i think it's been good for, me like

1411
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 1: to talk to other, people to get other, perspectives to

1412
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 1: learn their, personalities and it's been really. FUN i was

1413
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 1: definitely nervous for the first season that we, did but

1414
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 1: now it's become more natural AND i think it's helped

1415
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 1: me for like my work WITH nbc for, sure to

1416
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,440
Speaker 1: be able to just talk off the, cuff AND i

1417
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 1: think this is how you are. TOO i do research

1418
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 1: a lot before BECAUSE i don't want to like bring

1419
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,640
Speaker 1: someone on and say something disrespectful or be, like, oh

1420
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 1: do you have any racists coming? Up and they're, like,

1421
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 1: Yeah i'm racing, tomorrow you know WHAT i? Mean, LIKE

1422
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 1: i don't want to.

1423
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 4: Be don't you know that about?

1424
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 1: Me, yeah it's like, Geez AND i MEAN i have

1425
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,040
Speaker 1: been on podcasts where people will ask me stuff And i'm,

1426
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: like like a Simple google, search you'd know the answer to,

1427
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,120
Speaker 1: that you, know SO i, do And chris is really

1428
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,240
Speaker 1: good at that, too and just like researching and getting

1429
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 1: ready and. Prepping BUT i don't, know it's been really,

1430
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 1: fun and you, know we did take a break because

1431
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 1: of my health, issues SO i just appreciate everyone sticking

1432
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,360
Speaker 1: around and re, listening and you, know we're hoping to

1433
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 1: be more regular now that now That i'm like settled

1434
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,080
Speaker 1: in what's going on with, ME i can put more

1435
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 1: time towards. THIS i love promoting clean. ATHLETES i love

1436
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 1: giving people a. Voice that's SOMETHING i didn't necessarily feel

1437
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:27,880
Speaker 1: LIKE i had WHEN i was, competing and SO i

1438
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 1: love being able to give them a. Voice and it's really,

1439
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 1: fun it's really.

1440
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 3: Reward how can people listening to this right now support

1441
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 3: you as you continue on in your, journey especially as

1442
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 3: you kind of like step into your own and like

1443
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 3: re examine a little bit of your.

1444
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:51,680
Speaker 2: IDENTITY i would, say, YEAH.

1445
01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:54,480
Speaker 1: I think JUST i feel like the running community is so.

1446
01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:58,640
Speaker 1: Supportive like even the first TIME i did, COMMENTATING i

1447
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:01,480
Speaker 1: totally messed up folk on a hot, mic and people

1448
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 1: were like so nice and excited about. It SO i

1449
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,320
Speaker 1: think just the empathy that we have for each, other

1450
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 1: just continuing, that you, know you never know what someone's

1451
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 1: going through and so and even with elite athletes if they're,

1452
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 1: struggling like we don't really know everything about. Them so

1453
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 1: always having grace with, others always leading with, empathy never

1454
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 1: just assuming anything about. Anyone AND i feel Like i've

1455
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,360
Speaker 1: gotten a lot of that from this. Community but that's

1456
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 1: WHAT i would love to just see. Continue you, know

1457
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 1: like we can celebrate the, highs but sometimes you're on a.

1458
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 1: Loane people don't necessarily, know so just treat people with

1459
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,000
Speaker 1: grace because you just don't know what other people are going.

1460
01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:41,400
Speaker 3: THROUGH i love those. SENTIMENTS i love. Them, okay final,

1461
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:46,400
Speaker 3: Question Cara. Gaucher right, now you have the opportunity to

1462
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:51,160
Speaker 3: give yourself a piece of. Advice let's, say looking back

1463
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 3: at twenty, SIXTEEN i think that you were like really

1464
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 3: hopeful to like kind of cherry on The sunday for

1465
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:01,880
Speaker 3: your career and that and it was a really hard

1466
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 3: moment for you to pick yourself up. From so what

1467
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 3: advice looking back on that, moment do you offer yourself?

1468
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 2: Now you?

1469
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 1: KNOW i would just, say BECAUSE i know what. HAPPENED

1470
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 1: i spiraled into depression for a, while AND i THINK

1471
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:19,320
Speaker 1: i would just, say you, know did you do everything you?

1472
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: Could you, did and your son got to see his

1473
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:27,680
Speaker 1: mom do everything she could for her. Dream and a

1474
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: Third olympic team wouldn't have made you more valuable as a.

1475
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:34,840
Speaker 1: Human yours value stayed the, same and so although it,

1476
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 1: hurts AND i know it, hurts it doesn't change anything

1477
01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 1: about who you are and what you have to. OFFER

1478
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:43,120
Speaker 1: i THINK i would tell her. That she'd probably tell

1479
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 1: me that's not. True but, anyway that's What it's good.

1480
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 1: Advice it's good.

1481
01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:50,680
Speaker 3: Advice you have value as you are, Always, Kara i'm

1482
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:52,759
Speaker 3: so excited that we were able to make this. Happen

1483
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 3: how do the hurdlers follow along with? You how do

1484
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:57,000
Speaker 3: they keep up with? You give us all your?

1485
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 1: Details, Okay SO i used to be a lot more On,

1486
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,920
Speaker 1: twitter but THEN i feel Like twitter's become, accessible So

1487
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: i'm on. There it's at care, goucher BUT i don't

1488
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:09,280
Speaker 1: post that. OFTEN i post a lot On. Instagram that's

1489
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:11,880
Speaker 1: probably my. Favorite it is a mix of like business

1490
01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 1: and running and you, know my animals and my, child

1491
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 1: so it's kind of all over the, place BUT i

1492
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 1: feel like it's probably the most authentic. Me and then you,

1493
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: know Hopefully i'll be out at races And i'll be

1494
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,920
Speaker 1: able to see, people and you, know we're moving forward

1495
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 1: from this pandemic and we're getting more one on one

1496
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:31,960
Speaker 1: interaction AND i look forward to all, that AND i

1497
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,960
Speaker 1: look forward to just seeing people out in the out

1498
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:35,920
Speaker 1: in the, wild.

1499
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 2: Out in the.

1500
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 3: Wild, WELL i will be in the background of all

1501
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:40,640
Speaker 3: of your live shots At boston.

1502
01:09:42,479 --> 01:09:42,640
Speaker 4: For a.

1503
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 3: While i'm over At Emily abodi and At Hurdle Podcast

1504
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:48,719
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle.

1505
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 2: Conquered catch you guys next.

1506
01:09:50,680 --> 01:10:00,240
Speaker 4: Time he