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Speaker 1: Oh, welcome back to another episode of Alchemy, this COVID edition.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Is that Kevin? Now? I

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Speaker 1: said you should stay awake until cost will open so

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Speaker 1: you can be first in line. But I digress. Let's

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Speaker 1: meet our arms shower. We know particular order Slo to

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowsky Coco. Is there a grocery store item you're

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Speaker 1: buying more than usual these day? More than usual? Um,

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Speaker 1: just every snack? I think um, peda chips, tortilla chips,

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Speaker 1: potato chips, and anything you can chip. I'm buying ice chips.

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Speaker 1: Is there a favorite dip that comes with any of

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Speaker 1: those chips? Ranch tips? Our cream dip? I think you

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Speaker 1: got three more in you? Yeah, veggie dip dip stick

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Speaker 1: and the last everyone's favorite skinny dip. I was gonna

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Speaker 1: go with onion dipping. Alright, look at everybody, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris,

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Speaker 1: you were here. Please uh share your new favorite treat.

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Speaker 1: My new favorite treat has been everything that my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: has been baking constantly. That's right. Uh, last night she

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Speaker 1: made a banana bread that was insane, and uh we

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Speaker 1: were gonna give one to my father. It was all

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Speaker 1: wrapped up. I was gonna drive to him today, but

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Speaker 1: I decided to keep it for myself. So you'll be

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Speaker 1: eating a second banana bread. That's correct, just confirming. Please

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Speaker 1: welcome first Tom and Patrick Rowland not j K. As

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Speaker 1: a new first time or tradition. Please tell us any

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Speaker 1: awkward story from your early days learning or studying improv.

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Speaker 1: Wow is a black person? There as so many? Okay?

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Speaker 1: So and my first improv class it was like a

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Speaker 1: level A class and um, I get up to do

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Speaker 1: a scene and I was like, I'm gonna do a

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Speaker 1: British accent because I wanted to try my British accent out.

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Speaker 1: Uh and uh so I do was uh stupid initiades

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Speaker 1: in the British accent, like welcome to London and my

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Speaker 1: scene partner, who nicest person. Um, but I think I

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Speaker 1: was the first black person sh ever interacted with said this,

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, there aren't any black people in London,

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Speaker 1: And first off, yeah there is, but uh it quickly

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Speaker 1: had taught me how to just yes, and I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm the first your addressed album president. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got my Luther on. Well, thank you for being here,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having past the show, it's Caroline Cutter. Caroline,

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Speaker 1: what would surprise us in your pantry? Um? What would surprise? Well,

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Speaker 1: depends on what you're surprised by. Like, I don't have

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Speaker 1: anything that's not food in there, so nothing is really

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Speaker 1: that surprising at all, I would say, because it's all food.

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Speaker 1: But I have, um, you know, a lot of uh

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Speaker 1: Sechuan specific cooking stuff, so it's like a region of China.

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Speaker 1: It's like they have these Sechuan peppercorns that are really

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Speaker 1: tingly and spicy, so I, um, I love that stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I cook that stuff a lot, So maybe that's surprising.

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Speaker 1: It is surprising. I love myself some sechuana at it's

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Speaker 1: my favorite. Um. I didn't know there were Sechuan peppercorns

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Speaker 1: to be purchased, So thank you for that. All mails

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Speaker 1: some loosen and enlupe to please. They seem like the

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Speaker 1: gift that gives more than once. And last is that last?

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Speaker 1: Already last? But the hell with your face? If you

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Speaker 1: think of least, it's Joey Greer peaky drive. Uh why

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Speaker 1: great question, and there's there's not a short answer to this,

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Speaker 1: so let me just get into the meat and potatoes

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Speaker 1: of it. You know, the beginning and the end are

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Speaker 1: two things that we can access, but it's really beyond that,

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Speaker 1: because if we want to know who we are and

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Speaker 1: why we are, we should really start thinking about the

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Speaker 1: things that make us in the way that it is.

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Speaker 1: Because when you look at the Let's Do a Damn Show,

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Speaker 1: almost suggestions are gathered from your listener emails. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit one, please do damn it right to

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Speaker 1: the podcast at your name here at alchemy just dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's your name here. See Number one comes from Patreon

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Speaker 1: v I P. Blue Jay, who wrote scene suggestion A

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Speaker 1: serial killer tries to create a deadly trap accidentally invents

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Speaker 1: a teleportation device. What's you all? The best of health?

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Speaker 1: Blue Jay? Trevor, Can I talk to you for a second.

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Speaker 1: What do you want? What do you want? Did you

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Speaker 1: did you eat that peanut butter? It seems like the

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Speaker 1: peanut butter with my name on it in the pantry

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Speaker 1: is missing at a posted note with my name on

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Speaker 1: it on the baby woke up in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the night and do some personal inventory before you go

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Speaker 1: around blaming other people. Fair. Fair, and I appreciate where

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Speaker 1: you're coming from, but I think you know me by

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Speaker 1: now well enough to know that I don't actually act

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Speaker 1: that way. So if I'm coming to you with a question,

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Speaker 1: you're wearing my shirt, I am wearing my shirt. Okay,

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Speaker 1: did you Is that not cool? Is that cool? It's fine?

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Speaker 1: Where the shirt? Fine, it's worth the shirt. I didn't

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Speaker 1: eat your peanut butter, but I'll buy you a new one. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I'm reading your cards here. Yeah yeah, I like

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Speaker 1: a good what I see travel? I see travel? Oh

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, okay, yeah, like I got on the bus

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Speaker 1: to get here. So, oh you want you want the money?

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Speaker 1: I don't like that. Oh oh come on man, this

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Speaker 1: is this is strange because there would definitely be travel

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Speaker 1: in your future, but I also see simultaneously death. Oh

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Speaker 1: come on man. That something kind of like metaphor, like

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Speaker 1: I'm traveling to the beyond or uh, there's your capin speaking,

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Speaker 1: I just want to welcome on. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for traveling with Death Airlines. We hope that your destination

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Speaker 1: is the one you were hoping for. I'm sorry, did

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Speaker 1: you hear that It sounded like he said death? Araline?

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Speaker 1: Can you please shut up? I'm trying to listen to you.

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Speaker 1: Please stop talking to me. I'm trying to listen to

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Speaker 1: the captain. I wasn't even talking to you. I was

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Speaker 1: talking to my neighbor on the other side of myself.

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Speaker 1: I can't hear the captain. I can't hear the captain. Please,

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Speaker 1: I needn't know what the captain saying. He's not saying

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Speaker 1: anything right now. Well, I can't hear him, did you.

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Speaker 1: I can't hear him. Do your flight attendants. They're doing

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Speaker 1: the best they can. As you know, we're under some

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Speaker 1: new guidelines. So keep those masks on and your mouth shut.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy your fly. Okay. I have a third and your

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Speaker 1: final card here. Okay, I don't know if I could

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Speaker 1: take anymore with these cards back to back to It's

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Speaker 1: it's not doesn't work like that, sir. It's not like

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Speaker 1: a lucky thing. It's it's already written. That's good because

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Speaker 1: like I go to the Cathinos and like card I

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Speaker 1: suck at it's like okay, yeah, okay, here we go.

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Speaker 1: Third card is no wammy, no wammy, no wammy, no wammy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's four numbers. It's to zero to two. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is something coming up in that time for you. Um

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm I'm traveling. Oh wow, okay, I didn't

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Speaker 1: even make that connection to Yeah, I'm going to machu

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and that could be where the death comes

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Speaker 1: into it. None, that I think about it, I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to be visiting the death Cave. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: that just then. So basically, your your hours up. You

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Speaker 1: paid for everything you knew that was already gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Come on, can I can give you a bonus question?

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Speaker 1: You can ask me one question? Yeah, okay, Now I

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Speaker 1: will have to bring in my associate. I I don't

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Speaker 1: deal this way. I use cars. This is my associate.

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Speaker 1: This is fonding. Fonding, Okay. I was wondering why you

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Speaker 1: were just sitting in the corner eating eating Chris, go

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Speaker 1: out the can. You can ask fund it one. Come on,

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Speaker 1: this is like you know, rubbing the lamp for a

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Speaker 1: genie and then we're getting one wish? Are you? Are you? Okay? No? No? Fine, okay,

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Speaker 1: you have a great day. Kid me okay, I think

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Speaker 1: everybody's inside now welcome. I'm Gregory and these are the

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Speaker 1: death caves? Uh is you all have paid for the

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Speaker 1: anyone else here that audio information? They're sounds like an airport.

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Speaker 1: Oh sorry, that's my text thing. It dings like that,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, you get service down here? Wow, that's

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Speaker 1: oh my god, five g I'm so jealous. I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't have any of your your air five causes

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Speaker 1: your air out of here. He won't get far. So

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Speaker 1: if everyone else could just turn off their phones, I

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Speaker 1: think it will be helpful, no problem, will keep the

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Speaker 1: dings in the dawn. I have to turn mine off

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Speaker 1: if I don't get service anyway. You know what, that's

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Speaker 1: a very good question. Yes, yes, the answer is yes. Okay, alright,

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Speaker 1: so we're going to travel along here if you want

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Speaker 1: to just stay close And does anyone have any questions

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Speaker 1: about that sound? That's definitely not boring tone. Oh that

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Speaker 1: does sound like a classic ghost howl, very stereotypical that this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's why I don't. I don't really have any questions

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Speaker 1: because to me it seems either so obviously like fake

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Speaker 1: or just like the ghost is given up. But I

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Speaker 1: really want to talk to a ghost that like doesn't

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Speaker 1: give a ship anymore, you know what I mean? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta step that game out. Yeah it's sad. I

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Speaker 1: mean it's like, I know you're dead, but live a little.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, yeah, it's got like like did you

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Speaker 1: watch Beetle Juice and Dan decided that's how you're gonna

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Speaker 1: give you can give me a break, give me a break.

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Speaker 1: You're like just fucking coming at me hard and like

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Speaker 1: you don't even know what I've been going through. So

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Speaker 1: telling us, So tell us everybody, that's Larry, Larry the

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Speaker 1: ghost Larry. This is the group, and maybe they're coming

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Speaker 1: at you for specific reasons, and everyone should be open

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Speaker 1: to criticism and positive feedback. Doing my own personal inventory,

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Speaker 1: managed a little bit vampire on that one. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, my family, we signed up for the trip

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Speaker 1: and we definitely want to death caves. We did everything,

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Speaker 1: but man, we wanted the selling poe on. The main

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Speaker 1: selling points, at least to us, was that there would

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Speaker 1: be a ghost and never appear. Uh and through a

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Speaker 1: lot of poking and prodding from the tour guide, but

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Speaker 1: nothing happened. So I mean we'd like our money back,

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Speaker 1: you know, I mean, we can go to caves anywhere

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Speaker 1: in the world that just you've already gone on the

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Speaker 1: trip and returned. Yes, uh, you said the price you

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Speaker 1: paid included your round trip flight. Yes, seven nights at

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Speaker 1: at a Peruvian hotel. Yes, well, what is going on here?

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Speaker 1: Like can I can we get our money back? Or

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Speaker 1: we were supposed to see a ghost in that cave

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Speaker 1: and we didn't. If you read the fine print, there's

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Speaker 1: no promise of a ghost in the death caves. Oh

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Speaker 1: but that's what that's what you offer. That's what you offer.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the same thing as if like let's say, let's

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Speaker 1: say a steak a steakhouse said oh we got steak here,

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Speaker 1: but then you go inside there's no steak. I could

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Speaker 1: see the hell out of them. I could see the

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Speaker 1: hell out of them. I could I could go in

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Speaker 1: there and I could start being this ship of anybody

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Speaker 1: in that restaurant I wanted. Look, we're called ghost tours,

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Speaker 1: but I'm sorry, sir. Yeah, we're actually out of the stake.

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Speaker 1: Is there anything else on the menu that we perfect?

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Speaker 1: Fucking perfect? This is the stars in line? Get off, look, listen, listen,

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Speaker 1: listen to listen. As a member of the five G Society,

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Speaker 1: UM know that you will get service anywhere everywhere like that.

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Speaker 1: That comes with a bit of responsibility. Oh yeah, great power,

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Speaker 1: that's exactly right. So uncle, uncle Benn and me un Now,

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Speaker 1: now if you don't want that power. We have great

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Speaker 1: data plans here, unlimited use for LTE all day long,

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Speaker 1: and you just go about your life, now, can I

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Speaker 1: I got a couple of questions, and I can ask

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Speaker 1: more than one, right, because I've been in a situation

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Speaker 1: I couldn't. Oh interesting, no, yes, no, you like so

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Speaker 1: I have to ask me a little magical gimp character first,

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Speaker 1: I can talk right to you. This is this is

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Speaker 1: is a T mobile story, sir. Because he's right there

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Speaker 1: in the corner and he's he's eating cheetos and staring

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Speaker 1: at me. Oh he's just I think he's a customer.

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Speaker 1: He's my faults, sir. Um, So LTE what's that stand for?

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Speaker 1: Is that like light? Is it like you know? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Well they spelled it wrong. Um if five G say

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Speaker 1: I was, I can get coverage everywhere and anywhere and anywhere,

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Speaker 1: everywhere and anywhere. So hypothetical say I went to space done?

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Speaker 1: Oh um, say sir, anywhere you say it's gonna be done.

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Speaker 1: But remember the part where you have Hi, sir, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for coming into um interview at NASA

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Speaker 1: here and I just see on your um. Sorry, I

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Speaker 1: have a lot going on my brain right now I

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Speaker 1: forgot the word. I forgot the word for your cover letter,

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Speaker 1: but that's what I meant to say. I'm sorry my

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Speaker 1: Linda resume resume. Sorry, I see on your resume here.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Um no, my husband UM gave me some

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Speaker 1: of setting news. But it doesn't matter. I see here

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Speaker 1: on your resume that you want to work for NASA.

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Speaker 1: I need to take you away. Can you go to

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Speaker 1: paradise after the interview. I'm sorry, Frank, I really need

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Speaker 1: to do this interview. This is the one astronaut we

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Speaker 1: have interested. He's quality, PODi. Is someone else can do this? No, Frank,

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Speaker 1: you need to respect my boundaries. This is my work.

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Speaker 1: This is my job. So wait outside. I'll be outside

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Speaker 1: in like a minute. Okay, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Um,

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Speaker 1: he seems seems nice. He's fine. He has a very

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Speaker 1: average penis, and that's what I like about him. Um.

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Speaker 1: I saw here on your resume that you want to

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Speaker 1: Who was that was that? Frankie? Frank, Frank, I'm in here, God, David, Linda,

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Speaker 1: why are you doing this to me? You have given

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Speaker 1: you my heart? Probably How did you I locked my

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Speaker 1: office door? How did you get in here? Thank you? Right?

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Speaker 1: Thank you sorry. You're right, you're not You're not a

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Speaker 1: humble observer. You are a contender for being an astronaut. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so out of here, Rob please, I need to finish

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Speaker 1: this interview. Get the funk out of here. So the

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Speaker 1: average or mini, well, it's not it's it's um, it's

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Speaker 1: pretty big and you know what, I can't handle it.

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Speaker 1: I have the doctors told me I have a shallow

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Speaker 1: um shallow bones down there that don't really want anything past.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, so I'm so sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I saw here on your rest, Linda, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for sticking around after the exam. I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to discuss when I mentioned to you earlier shallow bones.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to see if you had any questions

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Speaker 1: about that. A lot of people aren't familiar with that term. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess I don't understand um like anything about it.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I don't understand anything about it.

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Speaker 1: Shallow bones? Does that mean short? What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: We don't like to use the word short. Uh. Some

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Speaker 1: people feel has a negative connotation. You shallow bones can

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Speaker 1: be very positive. Have you ever reached into an area

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Speaker 1: and it didn't go quite as far back as you

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Speaker 1: thought it might. Yeah, the only thing I can think

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Speaker 1: of is my own vagina when I reach in, I

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Speaker 1: can't go quite back as far as I perfect example. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's that's a little on the nose. So this is

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Speaker 1: the mangled corpse of Linda Cooper, head of head of

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Speaker 1: HR for NASA. She conjects the the initial astronaut interviews.

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Speaker 1: When people coming off the streets and why are you

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Speaker 1: showing this toast doctor? Does somebody's tech class? Is there

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Speaker 1: someone getting serve? Please turn off the phones. Okay, you're

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Speaker 1: not supposed to be getting serve. Sorry, Sorry, that's my iTunes.

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Speaker 1: I got a it's a it's a it's an alert

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Speaker 1: for alerts. Well. I was kind of thinking of like

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Speaker 1: doing like music, you know, like you know how Timberland,

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Speaker 1: the producer used like Godzilla's scream. I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: what if we used the ping bonds to do music

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Speaker 1: you're talking about? I have a band, I have a Hey.

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Speaker 1: Hey have you heard of Pixar music? Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 1: love Pixar music. That I was told you're you're all

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Speaker 1: an elite team of c s. I s, oh, we

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Speaker 1: can't have outside hobbies. You can have outside hobbies. But

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Speaker 1: I think addressing this this locked room mystery here because

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Speaker 1: the only possible explanation for me of how somebody could

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Speaker 1: get into murder her is if I don't know, a

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Speaker 1: serial killer accidentally advented some sort of teleportation device. Look,

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Speaker 1: if we're talking about hobbies here, I like the tattoo

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Speaker 1: gol Yes, dolls now, Hi, Um sorry, I'm sorry. This

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Speaker 1: is not me, but my boss has told me we're

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Speaker 1: not allowed to sell any more of our stock to

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Speaker 1: you because, um, it's almost Christmas and a lot of

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Speaker 1: parents are coming in here wanted to buy dolls for

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Speaker 1: their children, and last week you came in and you

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Speaker 1: you bought out our entire stock. And also, frankly, you're

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Speaker 1: just kind of creepy, and you have to understand this

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Speaker 1: is a toy store and we have kids here, and hey, captain,

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Speaker 1: I just want to I want you to know I

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Speaker 1: heard you in there. I heard your theory. I heard

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Speaker 1: your theory, and the rest of the guys we're laughing

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Speaker 1: about this like teleportation advice. But I just want you

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Speaker 1: to know I heard you, and I think there's something

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Speaker 1: to it. Every else in the department thinks I'm crazy.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. I mean, it's the only explanation, right,

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Speaker 1: A serial killer accidentally invented some sort of transportation device,

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Speaker 1: teleportation device, transportation devices. I haven't I have it. I

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Speaker 1: have it. I have it, I have it, I have it.

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Speaker 1: Hi'm off the deep pen watch high time? Can I hold? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Cliff crashed through the surface where they can't burd us

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Speaker 1: Cliff far from my shallow booms. How does that sound? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I see you had a point to get to. My

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Speaker 1: apologies were trying to interruption. It's just it's a song

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Speaker 1: that's been used, and I think, are you writing a parody?

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Speaker 1: What's happening? No? Not just came to me. What do

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Speaker 1: you mean? Do I make shallow from the Star is born?

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Speaker 1: And they want a Grammy and an Oscar, a Groscar

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Speaker 1: or oh? I see you are a return customer. You

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Speaker 1: wish to have your cards right again? Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 1: I'm back, and you say that I wasn't gonna be back,

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Speaker 1: So I mean, I mean, that's a whole another thing.

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Speaker 1: But let's let's read them cards. Okay, okay, deal and

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Speaker 1: no deal. Okay. You can't treat this as like a

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Speaker 1: gambling situation, like you're gonna win or lose. It's not

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Speaker 1: like that. I mean, but won't. I like, winning is

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Speaker 1: staying alive. Diane is losing a lot of people, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people lost, and I'm winning great. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's do it. So the first card I have here,

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Speaker 1: it's just the number five, Just the number five. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a fun number. Okay. Second card here, one letter,

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Speaker 1: it's just a G G. Yeah. Third card here, it's

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Speaker 1: probably going to be something mystical. It's usually what the

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Speaker 1: third card section is, so five The third one says here, um,

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Speaker 1: you know the truth? You want to select few know

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Speaker 1: the truth? Now? Does that mean anything to you? That

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Speaker 1: means everything to me, sir? Where are you going? Sir?

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Speaker 1: Please take your big Let me know how I get beer.

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Speaker 1: I was just having cars written and then I got

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Speaker 1: sucked into this portal and everyone says that when they

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Speaker 1: arrive and it's hilarious. So again, how can I help you?

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00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: Oh man? This do I get it? You're trying to

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00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: achieve before you arrive. We're playing it. We're playing a

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Speaker 1: game of poker. If you want to join in, cards

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Speaker 1: and steaks. I mean, dear man, I haven't played poker,

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Speaker 1: but I think I can get it. I've watched a

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Speaker 1: lot of the TV shows that have poker in it.

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Speaker 1: But to get to your question, little potato looking things,

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Speaker 1: do you have a name? Because I hate I hate,

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Speaker 1: I hate like just categorizing by what you look like.

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Speaker 1: Y'all have names. I would have never guessed that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then buy the poker game? Is your soul? Oh?

351
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Speaker 1: Come on man? Okay, yeah, yeah, all right. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to like put that on the table. Do

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00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: I like regurgitate it or do you know what? I'm

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Speaker 1: just write it? Oh dude, okay, you eternals what it's

355
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Speaker 1: referred to. I mean you will no longer have soul

356
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 1: as in music. Um oh damn, I gotta I gotta

357
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Speaker 1: family reunion coming up. And I don't do the choot

358
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Speaker 1: slide just right. There will be consequences. So you have

359
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: a big family there, Yeah kind of yeah, you don't.

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Speaker 1: I got his name, Keith? What's yours? Keith? Keith, Keith

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Speaker 1: all with the F like chief Keith Keith k e

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Speaker 1: E f right. Oh that's that's swear to God that

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Speaker 1: any who. Um, I I'm gonna play, I'm gonna I'm

364
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Speaker 1: not my soul. Uh are you expecting at the family really?

365
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: Oh about thirty five? Your favorite? My favorite? Well, I

366
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: gotta go with my mama because you know, birth. But

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Speaker 1: if you know outside the obvious, my uncle Benito, Uncle,

368
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: what are you mad? Him? Everybody? Clap your head, Come on,

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00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: y'all on the beach. Oh um, everybody? Yeah, well, welcome

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Speaker 1: to the Carter family reunion. Looks for all having a

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Speaker 1: good time. Huh family reunions. Yeah, I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: the only one excited. I'm just scared because the DJ

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00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: stopped the records and then sounded mad. Yeah, he took

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Speaker 1: an ominous pause, and I was waiting to see what

375
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: was gonna fill that ominous pause. Yeah, he just kind

376
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Speaker 1: of remind us to have a good time. But I'm

377
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: excited happy to be here. Yeah. Where because we didn't

378
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Speaker 1: really pay him to lecture us or even talk to us,

379
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: but really just play the music. What's up? Man? Yeah,

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00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: it's probably not my place. I probably look I do

381
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,479
Speaker 1: this a lot. I do this a lot. I'll be honest, Okay,

382
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: and uh, stopping the music, you do that a lot.

383
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Speaker 1: You're You're sweet, You're a real treat sir. Uh, And

384
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: I just feel he's got a real mouth on him. Huh. Look,

385
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: I'm when I feel compelled to say something, I'm gonna

386
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: say something. And that man right there is off. Something's

387
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 1: wrong with him. It's not just his rhythm. Something he's

388
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,479
Speaker 1: different about him. I'm leaving happy, happy reunion, everybody. I'm

389
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: leaving weird. That's that's totally weird. Talking about why would

390
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: the dj of left unless one of us lost our

391
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: Oh don't don't, I guess I'll say it. Um, I

392
00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: gave my soul up. Yeah, I gave my soul up too, honestly,

393
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 1: get everyone here five g um. You sacrifice for our

394
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: our cellular data. Yeah, it was the newest and best thing.

395
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: And you know, how long is it gonna be till

396
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: six g Maybe three years, maybe longer. And I wanted

397
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: us all to get the best g we could, so

398
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Speaker 1: I gave up my soul. Did they tell you when

399
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: you gave up your sol how much longer before we

400
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: each have our own individual cell tower? No? No, did

401
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: you mention that that didn't come up? Did you? Did

402
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: you play a card game with like a little potato

403
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: looking dude named Keith and his friend also named Keith,

404
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: And it was like poker. I played with Keith and

405
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Speaker 1: Keith I swear to God, I feel like I'm saying

406
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: the same thing is yeah, guy, family Carters, I got

407
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: something to confess to. I also lost soul. What why

408
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: are y'all more shocked about me? You have the most soul? Uh?

409
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: We're had, but yeah, we're still getting shocked over. Yeah,

410
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: it's just like every time you say it, it's like

411
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: the first time I'm hearing it. Oh, I got Uncle

412
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: Benito's not here to hear this this. Oh, he would

413
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: be real. Uh, the go's card he pulling up right now, everybody,

414
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: maybe we should pretend to be real. Member, you should

415
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: pretend to all have our souls. So that way Uncle

416
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: Benito won't know. How's he gonna know. He'll see that

417
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: there's no DJ. The DJ is gone. We don't have

418
00:29:43,080 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: to necessarily display whether a dog my god, the always

419
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 1: six people who don't have soul. That's a weird okay, Uh,

420
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: Uncle Benito. Now I realize you've gone to other psychic

421
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: mediums looking for guidance, and just so you know, not

422
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: all psychic mediums share the same vision. Well, then that

423
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: kind of like disproved psychics, right, because when y'all have

424
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: the same thing. That's how I approved that. Y'all right,

425
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: I don't know, kind of kind of like kind of

426
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: think of like a doctor. Right, you don't have a

427
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: PEP doctor if you're elbow hurt. Did you just think

428
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: PP doctor? No, I don't know. I have a regular

429
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: PP doctor, and I have my elbow doctor. There's a

430
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: doctor for each part of the body, everybody, exactly in

431
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: the same way that there is a psychic for each

432
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: part of the society. So why don't we flip these

433
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: cards here? Okay, and let's see what's going on cards.

434
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: Is that you or me? You have the same ring tongue.

435
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. Yeah, I think it's me, but you know,

436
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: don't check it. Don't check, don't ok So let's check

437
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: it at the end of your card. So let's over here,

438
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: and you know what, let's just go all three at once.

439
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 1: Just let's change it up. I normally don't do this, yeah, okay,

440
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: all right, So you have a spider card, the mental one,

441
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: you have a chargers yard, and then the last one

442
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: over here. It looks like it's hand drawn by me,

443
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: all right, And I didn't finish it, Okay, yeah, I

444
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: could see it's like it looks like, uh, you were

445
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: drawing plans for some kind of teleportation or time travel device,

446
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: but you didn't finish drawing it. What was that happened?

447
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 1: This is what you explained with the cards mean to

448
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: me right? Maybe your psychic you know what? And that

449
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: scene number one, damn. Scene number two comes us from

450
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: Anonymous who wrote Dear Alchemist Yesterday. Being hungover from life

451
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: in general, I started watching a movie on that popular

452
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: streaming site and suddenly I hear familiar voice. So I

453
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: closed my eyes and then it clicks. Kevin Pollock is real,

454
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: So there you go. War Dogs was a fun movie,

455
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: and it got me, uh into a suggestion for a scene.

456
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: I always wanted to know why cats just don't give

457
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 1: a fuck since ancient Egypt. If you expected something related

458
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 1: to that movie, I did too, But I digress, looking

459
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: forward to how you spice it up forever Yours, Anonymous Pharaoh.

460
00:32:55,040 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: The new litter Cats is ready, Yes, present the to

461
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: me get the cats? You want me to get the cats.

462
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: There's two of us here. One of us is um.

463
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: I was told the cats were ready, I have them,

464
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: bring them, don't just tell Okay, here are the great pharaoh.

465
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: Here are the cats. Lift the top, Lift the top,

466
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 1: and they'll come pop on out. This one seems to

467
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: be a little shy. Uh no, yeah, he is shy,

468
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: but it's also he has like a disease. He probably

469
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: probably live through the week. Which one is the most

470
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: powerful of these? Um? I don't I think maybe all

471
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: each ol. Okay, this one, this one with the beautiful

472
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: orange spots and shiny white and black fur, it is

473
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: a calico. Ah, it's it's scratched me. This kind of

474
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 1: scratched the Pharao. Get the catch out, Get the catch out. Okay, death,

475
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: death to the entire litter. Doctor. We need a doctor,

476
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 1: please doctor? Hello? We get two doctors? Great, okay, get there?

477
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: Uh did I go? Or you wanna? You wanna doctors?

478
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: Were ready? Yes? Yes, yes? Do you want a p

479
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: doctor or elbow doctor? Yeah? I work on the elbow.

480
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: I'm ap. Okay, well both of you go in there

481
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 1: because we need a face doctor. So just get in there. Okay,

482
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: just worked. Okay, what what I went to get in there? Yeah? Okay,

483
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: all right, here we go. What if what if these

484
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: doctors is touching my elbow? The other one's touching my

485
00:34:52,680 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: dicky yes, guess which one is? I know which that obvious?

486
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: I have a a laceration on my face, Pharaoh, Sir,

487
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: we have questions from the tribal council. It's regards to

488
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 1: who did the work on your face. The concern is

489
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: that the pp doctor did because there is now a resemblance. Well,

490
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: let me get a reflecting device and see if you

491
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 1: can see what we see. Mm hmmm, look into this

492
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: small pond. Yes, thank you for getting that pond. Me

493
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: to look at it right? Okay, if you just hover

494
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: over it, do you see he's got a dick on

495
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: his face? Man? Why some of the people in the

496
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: town square calling you dick face? To be fair, they

497
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: were calling me that before this incident. Look, I summoned

498
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: a talented surgeon to pair the laceration of my face,

499
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: and he worked within the medium that he is known for.

500
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: So yes, a dick was sewn onto my face to

501
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 1: cover the cat scratch, which made sense at the time, Sir,

502
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: God did they have to use my dick for that? Cheeze?

503
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: I felt like I should have stopped him, but you know,

504
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: he's a doctor to the pharaoh. Who am I? You know?

505
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: I'm just they take everything from us another. They take

506
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: my fucking dick and they on his face. You gotta

507
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: look at the bright spot. They left your balls, you know, right? Yeah, yeah, Ok,

508
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: you can imagine, you imagine. I can't imagine not having

509
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: my balls. But I'm glad they left a little too

510
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: second peace, so so that's nice. Yeah, dumb, dumb, dumb.

511
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: I'll line to the door. Do you mind because I

512
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: can't really get up. Yeah, Hello, here's hello. We're here

513
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: for Tim's balls. Uh, Tim, you're not gonna like this.

514
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: What is it? Pizza? No? No, no, no, no, it's

515
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: not not even pizza with Tim balls. I fucking hate pizza. Man. Oh,

516
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a bad day then, my friend, it's

517
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of pizza. Um. Sarah, we appreciate you

518
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: doing your book report on why cats have attitude. Um,

519
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: it just seems like you're kind of making some of

520
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: this stuff up. Now. The rest of the class we

521
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: talked about their animals, and you're talking about peeps sewing

522
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:54,240
Speaker 1: on faces pizza. It just seems a little far fetched.

523
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. My dad actually is an Egyptologist. He

524
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: knows how to read um hioglyphics, and he told me

525
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: that Sarah, we know that your father has been incarcerated.

526
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: What is that I have to do with anything? Good? Point?

527
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: So I kind of took some creative liberties. But the

528
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: thing is that people don't really know what happened in

529
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,399
Speaker 1: nature in Egypt. None of us were there. So that's

530
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: why I would like to finish my presentation on the cats.

531
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 1: I just don't understand how can the Royal British Museum

532
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: lock me up in America for saying that pharaohs have

533
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: penisis sometimes? I mean, look at these statues. I mean

534
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: I unearthed them, the real They want to cover this

535
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: history up. You have to give me how do you?

536
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: I don't understand why I'm in a maximum security prison. Okay,

537
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 1: look I just said that he's got in statues and

538
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: takes on them. Forgot sakes? Why why am I here?

539
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,240
Speaker 1: Can you sucking phone? I was parsing for dramatic effect

540
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 1: part of it. Calm down, all right, Look, you made

541
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: false accusations. Accusations, that's right, remating. I'm not good enough

542
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: for you now. No, No, you said I mean false acclamations.

543
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Get it right? Accusations? First of all, right,

544
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: who's got the law degree sort of me, so sort

545
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: of what does that? What do you say? Why do

546
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: you slip sort of in there? What then does that mean?

547
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: It's legal terms? I have to say it by law. AnyWho,

548
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: Why why do you have to say that by law?

549
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: Why can't you just say you're a lawyer. You just

550
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: want to be correct, you know, you know, No, there's

551
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: a lot of ears around here, like you're locked up

552
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: in a museum for saying that had a dis one

553
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: on his face. I mean a maximum security museum with murderers. Yes,

554
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: it's right to stick with the other Egyptologists. We stay

555
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: with our own kind. And here it's just thanks for

556
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: getting my back over there. I didn't know ase paliontologist

557
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: could be so rough. Oh they're the worst. M Um

558
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: tell me, uh, well, what do you think that touton

559
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 1: Common was buried with? Um? This is not a test,

560
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: by the way, I'm just a conversation. We're looking just

561
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 1: through forces servants, um dicks. So do his face if

562
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: I made a jack Reggie, you know this is not

563
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: the pyramid, Nubie. We're just looking for your professional opinion.

564
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: I'm to don Common may have been buried with No,

565
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: he was buried with chariots, servants, gold Trim's cloger's son dicks.

566
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: There it is again, Yes, everything else the cloggers, like

567
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 1: everything else was spot one. Are you? Are you a

568
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: lot of Egyptologists? I just want to say, you're sitting

569
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: where us paleontallists usually sit. If you notice under your

570
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: feet you've got some bones there, and we want to

571
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: dig them up. You understand, Yes, we dig those bones

572
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: up proper quick. We will, yeah, proper quick, pop quick

573
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: and up the bones are there. Oh, that's what you

574
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: would think. It's an Egyptologist because all your statues and

575
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: pyramids are already dug up above the desert ground, above ground.

576
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 1: But we have to go below ground. We're gonna go.

577
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:43,439
Speaker 1: We're gonna dig up your bones. If you don't kiss off, yeah,

578
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 1: you'll be you'll you'll you'll be sleeping with my accent.

579
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: Is Yeah, you'll be sleeping with his accent if you

580
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 1: don't kiss off. Understand. Look, we represent a discipline that

581
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: is actually about civilization, not a giant beast were buried

582
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: in the round through no fault of their But you

583
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: have you have the dick face man with you, don't

584
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 1: you He's not with us? If he's not with you,

585
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 1: that makes him alone with tell them, Sarah. So, so

586
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 1: just get to the point where you think cats have attitudes. Okay,

587
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 1: but it's a lot of back So I have to

588
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: do an order it to make sense, because if I

589
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 1: just jumped to the conclusion without proving my points, that's fair.

590
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: Little Listen, I've already like it's life. You've said the

591
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: words dick face and like, Sarah continue, professor, are we

592
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: going to be able to get to the other reports

593
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: or are we just like I mean, we've been staying

594
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: on hers for a week and a half. And if

595
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: you were a child prodigy, maybe we take a little

596
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 1: more time with you, Okay, but you're not. You're a

597
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: twice divorced man who's looking for himself. Okay, Professor. Like, so,

598
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: I like, I get it, she's a child prodigy, but

599
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 1: I feel like you're dumbing down the class for her

600
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 1: because we were like studying quantum physics and now we're

601
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 1: talking about her cat and like cats are angry. Excuse me, prodigy.

602
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: You know I was married twice. It's not divorced twice.

603
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: I was married twice. I found love twice, Thank you

604
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: very much. Okay, So let's let's I'd like to look

605
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: at a positive and there's a lot of growth. And you, okay,

606
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 1: what do you mean you're going to college to find yourself? Look, look,

607
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm going okay, I just I have to do this

608
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: and we need to get we need to get divorced.

609
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: We're on our moon and and the moon is waxing

610
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: and waning, saying bye, I gotta go. All right, you

611
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 1: flew me to Cairo, and there was a mistake. All right,

612
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: that was a mistake. I should have had you gone

613
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 1: by boat. And I like you. I like you a

614
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: lot of think you're really chilling. I love you. Hey, guys, stiff,

615
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 1: it's okay with you. Could we finish the tour now? Yes,

616
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: yes we can. Please? Just can we be chilled about? Fine?

617
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 1: So now we're coming up on the wing of the

618
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: Great Farrell Temple where they're the cats. Yeah, if you

619
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: listen closely, you may hear the ghost of cats. Do

620
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: you mind if I jump in? I got some information

621
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 1: about this. I love to this is unusual. But of

622
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: course what are you doing? You don't know anything about this? Well?

623
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 1: I might, Okay, this is what I want to go

624
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: to college for. Go to college first, then give the

625
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 1: tour how it works. Get off of me. Um. The

626
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: stints was actually it was actually a Chrysler and that

627
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 1: what what dragon had that scene to scene to false

628
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: information man. Scene three comes from some patron VMP Nicholas

629
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: Marc Howard, who wrote, Hi Kevin, you know I love you.

630
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: But the audible and read in this Thursday's episode was

631
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: really bad and hence hilarious. It sounded like you wanted

632
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: to sob but you were afraid of being too loud,

633
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: and it was really low and quiet. It was fucking horrible.

634
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: That's why I read this one. Let the heeny fellow

635
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 1: give you a few pointers. He knows how to sell

636
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: ship anyway. You will get there someday. Buddy, here's my

637
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 1: suggestion and I'm gonna re record it for sure. It

638
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: sounded so freaking horrible. Uh okay, here's the scene suggestion

639
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: and add company pitches to the mob best Nicholas Um. Okay,

640
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: so you know, um, we're really excited to be here today.

641
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: I know this. Yeah, so um our company we've got

642
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: a really kind of crazy idea. But it's just a

643
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: company that is just for advertisements. Okay, and we think

644
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: that me and my partner up here, think that, Um,

645
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: we're offering a lot of services and we would have

646
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: a lot of resources for you that you wouldn't be

647
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: able to get maybe with your um, your way, your

648
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:39,879
Speaker 1: typical ways of doing things, take it away away, take

649
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: it away, and so um mafia, um, your brand is

650
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: a just a businessman. We am a business guy. What

651
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: are you doing telling me that, telling me that I

652
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,800
Speaker 1: can't do it? Spool worrying? It's not now now. We

653
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: want to make you the uber of crime. Okay, so

654
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 1: thank you. So that's why we want to um, well

655
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 1: we'll call you kuber. We are thinking because it's a

656
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: word crime and the word uber and there's no um,

657
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: no lawsuits, not that that would really make a be

658
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,839
Speaker 1: bad for you guys, right because everything's kind of under

659
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: the table. Okay. So um yeah, so that's what we

660
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 1: want to do. And um, how would it work? Can

661
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 1: I ask you question? How would it work? Okay? So

662
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: that's great? Okay, okay, So okay, so say, okay, we're

663
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: doing some research. Follow me here. Say you wanted somebody

664
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: to sleep with the fishes? Uh so to speak, um, murder,

665
00:47:52,920 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: die kill clear hypothetically hypothetics. So you could so you

666
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: could use the chat function here on this app, right

667
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: and the words disappear and only you can read them.

668
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: So that's that's that's one function. Yes, oh my, my,

669
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 1: my little daughter. God, she has what do you call

670
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 1: one of those phones iPhones and when she does the

671
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 1: text and she could do that on own. So what

672
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 1: do we need to do for that for I'm glad

673
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: you asked. I got it, okay, so great question. So

674
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 1: this is hyper secure. So I see you have some

675
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: bodyguards with huge guns around the door over there and

676
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: just friends of mine. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry,

677
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:48,760
Speaker 1: my my mistake. But if you were to have security guards,

678
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 1: think about our app Kuber as your own digital security guard.

679
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 1: So we do a lot of encryption. We do a

680
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: lot of zeros and one and a lot of binary code,

681
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: a lot of um okay, take it away, take it away,

682
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: so so so so listen, infimmation. We think Cooper would

683
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: take your business to the next, to the current and

684
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: future centuries. Yes, giving giving the mob. So this is

685
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: the this is the ad copy right here? What what

686
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: what the hell is Cooper? It's just it's you don't

687
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: need to know what it is. You're just reading the

688
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: copy for it. That's true, that's true enough. But it

689
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: is a m It's a top secret mob. Mafia said,

690
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: listen here looking for some backstory, some some motivation for

691
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: the read Tim, No, I'm ready to roll. I'm a professional,

692
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:59,800
Speaker 1: fantastic dina. What the fun was that? I don't know.

693
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 1: I mean, you just straight ut. None of the people,

694
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 1: none of the people auditioning, have asked me a question

695
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: that specific and I thought you come right out with

696
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 1: the fact that we're working for the mafia. That made

697
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: sense to you. Yeah, I don't know what's the harm

698
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: in that? What is I don't know, sleeping with the

699
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 1: fishes um death? Shot in the eye like mo Green.

700
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm ready to roll on one whenever you are. Sorry

701
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 1: to realize that Mike was still alive. Sorry about that, Tim, Okay,

702
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna let's just try it. Take here, all right,

703
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: take your own cue. What seriously I'm just saying, I'm sorry. Okay,

704
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: I guess now I'm seeing I made a mistake. I'm sorry.

705
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: Are you happy it's my mistake of the day. You've

706
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: caught me again? Thank you so much, Robert for always

707
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: kind of nailing me on the fucking cross whenever I

708
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:03,320
Speaker 1: make even a little Well, we're you're all back here, gentlemen, businessman.

709
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: We want to play you a demo of the new act.

710
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 1: We're really excited. We got some top notch already. Player.

711
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: I don't need all the words. Okay, you're right, So

712
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 1: just imagine you're in your car, you listen to the radio.

713
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 1: What do you mean imagine? Why don't we be in

714
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:24,879
Speaker 1: a car right now and do that? Yeah? Okay, Linda,

715
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: can we use your car? We're not going to get

716
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: into a car. Play the fucking old on a second.

717
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to be imagined. I want to see

718
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: what it is time with this. Can you just close

719
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: your eyes and pretend you're not here? From my close

720
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: my eyes, somebody might do something to me, you know

721
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 1: what I mean? Look, I don't use my imagination. Great idea,

722
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 1: Yeah you do that. Ok. You need somebody to sleep

723
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,799
Speaker 1: with the fishes. You know what a fucking fucking if

724
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 1: I say one thing long, you're on my fucking ass

725
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 1: about it. So why to you fucking suck my butthole?

726
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:09,959
Speaker 1: That's right, my butthole. I got a quick question. Who's

727
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 1: who's the Who's the dame? Like? I like I like

728
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: a fire. That's our very own Linda. Yes, yes, sorry, no,

729
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 1: that's great. So you make copies of this? What the

730
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: audio file? It's an audio file? You don't like make

731
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: copies like in a copying machine or something. Is the

732
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: idea is gonna bring us business? We just heard business

733
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 1: and recruits? What kind of recruits? You know? Young men?

734
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: When women or or or however they identify who want

735
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: to join your big guy with the pronouns? Not? Alright?

736
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: Well copies do you make? I identify as uninterested? What

737
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 1: else you got? I'm glad. We're actually happy that you

738
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: didn't like the first one. Yes, we have more. There's

739
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: nobody gonna answer my question. Lenny again, close your eyes

740
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 1: and shut your face. I'm gonna do that. I'm not

741
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 1: going to use my imagination. Maybe just try closing your

742
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: eyes for one second. And why you could stab me

743
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 1: in the fucking throat I'll kill Oh my god, oh

744
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: my god, you would have killed me your piece of ship?

745
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 1: How many fucking Lenny, don't kill the fucking ad guy?

746
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: All right, jesus, how many times we gotta do this?

747
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: Lindau Way, you tell me as a fucking shoe, your

748
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 1: piece of ship, Lenny, look over there, it's cannoli. Why

749
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: don't you go ahead and play as the next one.

750
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm a little shaken up from seeing my

751
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: colleague get what, No, he just fell on the knife

752
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 1: a couple of times. Yeah, we didn't see nothing. I'm

753
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 1: sure you didn't. Okay, you're right, I didn't see anything.

754
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: Somebody's nothing. I'm sorry now that I will take responsibility

755
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: for I thought the snacks everyone there's nothing. I'm sorry.

756
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. I'm happy to pay you money. Or

757
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: I didn't about it. Lenny is going to forget about

758
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: it in three minutes played a second ad. Would you

759
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: do that? Lenny? I sweat a christ. I'm gonna stab

760
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: you and eye with a pencil. Um. That's imagination. Great. Yeah,

761
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 1: and I love this. So you guys are you guys

762
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 1: are being creative as well. So that's something we can

763
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 1: definitely work together with us. If you have any kind

764
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 1: of ideas or suggestions for the app. Yeah, Linda, okay, okay,

765
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. My hands are shaking and they're so sweady.

766
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 1: I'm so scared, and they're covered they're covered in cannoli. Um,

767
00:54:52,680 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 1: I dug in with my hands. I didn't okay, Um, Okay, Lenny,

768
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: Len Glenda, I'm not sure who I'm gonna kill him first,

769
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: my mother's eye, Lenny. If you don't, there's nothing in

770
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: these canologies to what is Yeah, we get it, okay,

771
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: tim My man, listen, you are the voice of Minneapolis. Okay,

772
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: there's no doubt about that. Oh and we've burned into

773
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 1: a little bit of a problem. U um. And it's

774
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 1: not you just working non union when we've asked you

775
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: not to. It's it's further. I'm gonna take the work

776
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: where it presents itself. Unfortunately, Tim, I don't think there's

777
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 1: gonna be any more work for you and I. And

778
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: it pains me to say this, but you have one

779
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:50,240
Speaker 1: last audition. As it were. What's with the figure quotes?

780
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,359
Speaker 1: If the finger quotes were their own sentence, it would

781
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 1: read you have to you have a meeting with the

782
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: Minneapolis mob boss to j the Minneapolis mom boss. They're

783
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 1: believe it or not, there is a Minneapolis mom You

784
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 1: do the ad couer so right, I do so many ads.

785
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:14,959
Speaker 1: I don't remember you know, Timmy, you haven't organ Now listen,

786
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 1: when you meet Salvatore SALVATONI, you must present them with

787
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 1: this cat. It's en offering a peace and respect, you

788
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 1: understand of this cat? Yeah, this cat doesn't seem like

789
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:31,600
Speaker 1: they want to be here, all right, scratch my face.

790
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: Salvia Salvatori, Salvatoni loves catch and to present him with

791
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: one such as this is the sign of the utmost respect. Okay, fine, fine,

792
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: stay all right. So their names are Salvatore and Salvatoni. No, no, no,

793
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 1: the man you're meeting is Mrs Salvatoni. His name is

794
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: Salvator Salvato, Salvatoni present present him the cat. This is

795
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 1: gonna understand, This is gonna get him with the cat

796
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: is a sign of the utmost respect. Don't you understand? Yeah? Yeah,

797
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 1: I got it, all right, just go it. So just go,

798
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 1: Oh welcome, What have you brought me? Hi? How you doing? Tim?

799
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: Tim Caruthers local voice over talents. Perhaps you've heard me

800
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:44,560
Speaker 1: on St. Paul's News for clues. Let's go ahead and

801
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: say I have it. Must be Salva, Tony, I have

802
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 1: this this cat for you. I'm really sorry about the blood,

803
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 1: by the way, coming from the character from your face.

804
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: I think some of it is from the cat. So

805
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: if it's from my face, dick, I can I can

806
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: drink this rip through? I do? I do have a dick.

807
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:11,080
Speaker 1: You could drink that. Really, that would be enormously helpful.

808
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: They're in the shelf on your left. Help yourself. Real

809
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 1: plethora of sizes. I think I just need an average one. Anyway,

810
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 1: I did the I did the Kuber ad. You know couber,

811
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 1: Remember it and then forget about it. Yeah, clever Portmanteau.

812
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 1: By the way, love that. So understand you brought a

813
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: new one today? Yes? Yes, apparently to keep my to

814
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 1: keep my job at the voiceover, I have to pitch

815
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 1: my own ads, record them myself. It's tough. Otherwise they

816
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: sent me to v O jail. Um. So sorry? Did

817
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: you come here like I'm some sort of complaint desk. Look,

818
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: I'm just doing what I was told to do. Okay, excellent,

819
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 1: begin when you're ready. All right, take your own cue.

820
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: I think they say do it live or I have it.

821
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: I have it on MP three. I'd rather do it live. Okay.

822
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 1: Are you a local business looking for protection? Www? Dot

823
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 1: c U b E dot com is the website you need.

824
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: You need somebody to sleep with the fishes? Do you

825
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: need to take the canole and leave the gun. Wait

826
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 1: a minute, strike that reverse coober, remember it, sergeant, sergeant

827
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 1: getting here. We got we got a situation. The man's

828
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 1: been up my ass about this whole UH mafia business,

829
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 1: and uh I couldn't help it. On my way to

830
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 1: UH pilates or listen to the radio, that's one does.

831
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 1: And I eat this commercial for Kuba and it's like

832
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 1: it's talking about like the mob or something like that.

833
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 1: I want, I want you to look into it. This

834
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 1: could be your big break. You canna go from UH

835
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 1: sergeant to lieutenant or detectively, whatever you want. I just

836
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,919
Speaker 1: want the mirror. The mirror has been up my ass. Okay,

837
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 1: just okay, alright, so I got on it. I'm on it.

838
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go right now. Www dot c U b

839
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: R dot com. Okay, I'm gonna okay. Book an appointment.

840
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: This is a really nice UH interface. Users. Would you

841
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: like to book an appointment? Wow? Yes, yes, this is

842
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: voice activating booking an appointment? What time works for you?

843
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 1: Eleven am am, two am selected, It's fine, it's fine,

844
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Two am. Where would

845
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 1: you like to meet? Alleyway the port basement basement. You

846
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 1: selected Cairo? Is that okay? With your boss? Can we

847
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 1: can we send me to Cairo for this? Okay? Okay,

848
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:35,560
Speaker 1: two am, Yeah, we haven't been defunded yet. Okay, how

849
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: would you like to travel? What airplane you selected? Submarine?

850
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: How's it going in there? Good? Good? No good? I

851
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 1: think I think the Mayor's that. Get off your ass.

852
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 1: I'm really working hard. It's really up there, and that's

853
01:01:55,200 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: our show for the record. Sub Marine is the Long Way.

854
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 1: Let's thank all of our Alchemist, starting with Mr Joey

855
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: Greer Joey, what the hell exactly? Exactly? Thank you so

856
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: much for being Here's anyway you'd like folks to find

857
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: you out there, you know, if you'd like to find me,

858
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 1: check out Alchemy. This is Instagram and check out bear

859
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 1: Spy shows on Twitch. We've been working with west Side

860
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,160
Speaker 1: Common Theater doing shows on their Twitch channels. Go to

861
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 1: twitch dot tv backslash west Side Comedy Theater and you

862
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 1: can see some of our videos up there. And in

863
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,960
Speaker 1: the future will we'll be posted on our own channel.

864
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh that's great and uh, I don't

865
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: regret asking at all. Caroline Connor, thank you so much

866
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: for being here. Is there anything you would like to plug? No,

867
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: but if anybody has, like I don't know, any tips

868
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 1: or advice for what I could do with my wife,

869
01:02:55,720 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: they can send me a d on Carter poop um

870
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 1: on the Instagram. Sure, what do you do with the

871
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: rest of your life? Okay? Fair? Please help out Patrick Rowland.

872
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Oh yeah, thanks, thank you for

873
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 1: having me. This is fine. I hope you enjoyed being had. Yes,

874
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 1: all the ways. Please come back as soon as you can.

875
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 1: Is you any way you'd like folks to find uh

876
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 1: your work out there on the interwebs. Yeah, you can

877
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 1: go to www dot Patrick Rowland dot net. Um. Also,

878
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 1: you can look up my independent teams um Black Street

879
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 1: Boys comedy on social media. Just put that in there.

880
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any other one and um Also

881
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: I have a digital series on Comedy Central with my

882
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 1: other team three Pete, so you can look us up

883
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 1: at three Peek Comedy and also do sorry it's gonna

884
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,160
Speaker 1: be the rest of the show. I also do a

885
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: late night talk show as Barack Obama. So where the

886
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 1: folks find I can find out our West Side comedy.

887
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 1: We do the shows on Switch Okay, Joe in case

888
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 1: you're wondering, that's how you answered that question. Whatever, Craig Atkowski,

889
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: thank you so much. My friend in the Carolina's still

890
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:20,640
Speaker 1: in the Carolina's uh so hopefully till the end of time.

891
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 1: I didn't have a vocabulary, pet Peeve prepared, but then

892
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: you went and use the word uninterested correctly. Many people

893
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 1: use disinterested, which does not mean not interested. It means impartial.

894
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, say uninterested if you're not interested, happy to

895
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,160
Speaker 1: be of service. You did say was a portmaneu, right,

896
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 1: a portmanteau. Thanks again, super glad, Love you buddy, Thank you, Chris,

897
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 1: all all of you. I'm giving all my all, my

898
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 1: love to Patrick. He was so great today. Petrick dot

899
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,480
Speaker 1: Net Black Street Boys three pet checking out. This motherfucker

900
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,640
Speaker 1: makes good, good work and he's a good guy. So

901
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: we love you, man, I love you, all of you.

902
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 1: That's our show. Let's thank our engineering producer to the stars,

903
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 1: Mr Doug Baine. That I heard media, fump pump, fump pump.

904
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 1: Please be careful out there. I look out for each other.

905
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 1: Wear a mask, wash your hands, do all we can.

906
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,760
Speaker 1: We've got to flatten this god damn curve, depending on

907
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 1: each other. Who knew would be so difficult, but please

908
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 1: help out however you can. I'm your host, Kevin Pollic.

909
01:05:35,400 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: Until next time at a football for Pepper