WEBVTT - Gender Reveal GONE WRONG 0:00:01.040 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:09.440 Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:12.760 home office in Austin, Texas. Opening up the playbook today 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:16.840 on a very interesting and very specific topic, and it's 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:19.400 a topic neither one of us have really ever discussed, 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:21.840 but it came to us via social media and we 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:24.079 have a special guest joining us a little later. But 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:29.000 it is gender disappointment, and on its face, when you 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:32.320 hear that, LZ, it has such a negative connotation, such 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:36.040 a guilty negative connotation. We are here to dispel that. 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.800 So I didn't even know this was a phrase, but 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:41.839 because of this video, I was kind of googling it. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:47.000 Gender disappointment even has a Wikipedia entry, and yeah, it's 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:50.760 just a really interesting concept because this woman posted a 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:52.879 gender reveal and people have a lot to say about it, 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:58.280 and her caption of her video was gender disappointment is real. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.800 So I start looking into that, and I do think 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.240 people have strong opinions right away. A lot of people say, 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:06.880 whatever your baby's going to be, you should just hope 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:10.399 for a healthy baby, and of course we all hope 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:12.760 for a healthy baby, but I also think we have 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:15.720 to acknowledge what's real. I thought a lot about your kids, 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:17.720 About Josh and Taylor, you have a boy and a girl, 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:21.760 and let's even let's take parents and siblings and kids 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.560 into it. Taylor has often said, oh, you know, it 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.440 would have been great to have a sister, or Josh 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:28.120 probably wishes he would have had a brother. I know 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.920 my own brother has two sisters and has always said 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.039 he wished he had a brother. So of course, in 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.160 any family, you're going to kind of have feelings of, oh, 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:38.840 you know, what if we'd had boys and girls, and 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:41.039 you just think about your dynamic. Right. 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:45.119 Can we all just come at this with an open heart, 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.200 in an open mind, and an understanding that we all 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:52.280 agree on a couple of principles. It's a blessing to 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:56.320 have a child. Not everybody can. It's difficult. When you can, 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:58.920 it is a blessing, and what you're really praying for 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:03.200 as a healthy baby. We all can agree that is true. 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:06.360 But at the same time, what you were just saying, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:10.320 LZ can also be true, and that is you can 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:12.200 kind of hope for a boy or hope for a girl. 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.799 In my family, it had been I think I've gone back. 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:18.200 It's been it was like forty five or fifty years 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:22.200 of all boys in my family, what all boys like 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.880 from I had a cousin. I'm the youngest of seven cousins, 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.079 so what two or three cousins ahead of me was 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:34.440 a girl? That was the last girl through all the 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.239 rest of the cousins, including myself, and then I want 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:41.080 to say, nine great grandchildren over forty eight or fifty years. 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:43.920 So when I had, my brother had. 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:45.799 Two boys and it's just you and your brother. 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:47.600 You have no trus me and my brother. And then 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:50.919 my brother had two boys ahead of me. And then 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:53.800 I had, I got pregnant and it was a boy. 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:58.519 It was Joshua. Then we got pregnant again, and I'll 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:00.760 be honest, I was kind of hoping it was going 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:02.840 to be the first girl born in our family in 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:06.200 fifty years. And I was excited to have a baby. 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.240 And if I had another boy, my god, I would 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.560 have been blessed and happy. But when I found out 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.680 it was a girl, I cried. I was so happy 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.520 to tell my grandmother, We're going to have a girl finally. 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:19.400 So you know, you and I talk about this a lot, 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:23.120 and it comes up a lot two things and even 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.760 multiple things can be true at once totally. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.560 And you know, I know with my little brother, he 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:32.200 was my dad. He was gonna be my parents' last baby. 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.920 They knew that my dad had had girls, and then 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:36.840 he got a boy, and he was so happy. I 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:40.840 distinctly remember I was like eight, and I remember going 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.800 to toys Rs With my dad and him picking out 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.280 like a football and a baseball bat when my mom 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:48.880 had just given birth, and I remember saying him, Dad, 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:50.800 I think he's too small for this stuff. 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.800 By the way, I can totally relate to your dad. Yeah, 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:58.720 I bought Joshua like Cowboys Dallas Cowboys gear, like all 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:00.800 this stuff that anyways. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:01.120 Eight pounds, right. 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:06.839 But you know, I often think that when people are projecting, 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:10.720 like putting negative or critical comments online, first of all, 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:12.320 a lot of the time it's bots. Everyone just be 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.520 aware of that, trying to cause controversy and get comments 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.560 going on on websites, so the engagement looks high. 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:19.520 I witnessed a lot of that. 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:21.280 And we sure did and we felt it. 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:26.080 But I do think when people are truly being harsh, 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:28.640 it's coming from their own pain a lot of the time, 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.520 and that doesn't make it okay. But I just try 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:35.480 to remember it. And I think that you know, listen, 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.120 we live in a time where I think we've made 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:41.880 some really great strides about gender not being such a 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:45.880 strong identifier and it not defining you so much. But 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.680 at the same time, gender also like unites us in 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.080 a lot of ways. And I know, I love my girlfriends, 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.120 and guys need their guy friends and that kind of thing. 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:57.080 So it totally makes sense that people could be excited 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:59.479 about having boys or girls. And then it also makes 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.440 sense that people might say, oh, you know, I was 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:02.920 really hoping to have a boy. 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:03.960 I was hoping for a girl. 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:06.400 And if this doesn't resonate with you because you feel 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.240 the way LS was just talking, that's great too. Like 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.880 nobody is saying all things need to be true for 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.560 all people. It's just there are moms and dads out 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.400 there that really do feel this from time to time, 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.000 and siblings. And the whole point of this and the 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.960 whole point of all of our podcasts is to just 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:28.400 make you okay with the fact that you've had those feelings, 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:29.839 make you realize you're not alone. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:33.799 You know, I have a question about when you had kids, Yeah, 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.359 because you then got a boy and a girl. Is 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:37.960 that part of why you didn't have more kids? Like, 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:39.599 say you'd gotten two boys, do you think you would 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:40.479 have had a third child? 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:44.800 We I will be very revealing and honest here. We 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.919 had what's called the king's choice, older boy, younger girl. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.960 Someone told me another phrase, I haven't someone explained that 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:52.680 to me that way, that it's it's the king's choice, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:58.159 because I guess you know air And so I was 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.440 so happy that I had one of each. I have 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:05.520 one sibling, so two kids. My brother had two kids. 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:07.640 It just felt symbiotic and. 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:09.560 Right, it makes sense your ex is a child of 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:13.200 two also, so you guys were familiar with two kids situations. 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:17.080 We thought we were pregnant with a third and technically 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:21.680 we were and it didn't turn out, and so clearly 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.640 we didn't have a third child, and it was unfortunate, 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:29.480 but it also kind of gave us the feeling of 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.680 if it had happened, we would have been so happy 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:33.920 and had a third baby. But we realized, you know what, 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.279 we're good, and that's when we decided we weren't going 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.920 to have any more kids. So, yeah, it was something 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:40.920 that kind of just happened to us and with us. 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:45.320 But that was definitely part of it of having I 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.640 got my boy, got my girl, I'm good like I'm good. 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.440 Interesting. Yeah you've never shared that with me before. 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:53.039 Yeah. 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.760 Well, and I'm sorry, but I mean it's no matter what, 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.559 it's a loss. And as you're saying that, I'm sitting 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.440 here thinking, I get how two things can be true, 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:09.359 because what's interesting is well, like, for example, my little 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:13.600 brother was an accident. He knows this a blessing. Well 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.000 at the time, my mom told me later when she 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.640 found out she was pregnant, she cried out of sadness. 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:21.400 Oh wow, because she was so ready to get back 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.960 to her career. Yeah, and that was her plan. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:25.400 She had you and your sister. 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.920 And so it's just really interesting. How like I say 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:32.600 this from a place of zero judgment whatsoever, Like we 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:35.680 all have to be empathetic to each other and know that, 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.080 you know, just because someone's having feelings in a certain way, 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.000 that's their life and it doesn't discount your feelings and 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.640 it isn't them trying to say that your pain isn't real. 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:47.080 But how these different, You know, we can all have 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:48.480 different takeaways from these situations. 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.120 And even for your mom again, so many things can 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:51.880 be true at once. 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:53.800 Yeah, and now she loves my brother. 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:56.440 Well, and we all love John, but all you know, 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.360 so many things can be true at once. And that's 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:01.840 why I think this black and white world we live 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.640 in these days where social media you have to jump 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.880 on this side or this side, and if you jump 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:10.120 on this side, it means everything, and if you jump 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.360 on this side, it means everything in totality, and that's 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.000 never the case in anything in life. There are so 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:20.120 many layers. Take your mom for example. She could be 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.560 upset in that moment, she could have those genuine feelings 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:27.840 and at the same time feel so excited and blessed 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:32.400 that she's having another baby. That is so important and 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.400 for some reason in our lives we realize this and 0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:38.120 feel these things, but then when we're on social media, 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:40.720 it's like, well, you have to feel all of this 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:43.800 or you're wrong. And so I think this is one 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.600 of those topics. And again, this is why I wanted 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.840 to dive into it, because people are going to have, 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:49.839 I think, very visceral reactions to this. 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.280 Do you know what I think part of the reaction 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.240 to this video, this viral video with Kendrick, who we're 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:56.520 going to bring on is is also people have very 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:58.600 big reactions to gender reveals. 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:01.800 Yeah, that's true. Thing, Yeah do you We never did one, by. 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.640 The way, I don't think it was a thing years ago, 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:05.199 and I don't know when it became a thing. 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.680 Eighteen years ago we had Taylor, it was it's not 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:08.200 a thing. 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:12.200 Well, and they've been problematic, they've caused chaos, they've gone 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:16.360 viral for bad reasons. But I'm not a Again, it's 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.440 sort of interesting in this time when we're like gender's fluid, 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.680 and that is really a movement. We also have made 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.480 very popular this gender reveal thing, which really is is 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:28.240 it a boy or girl? 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:29.080 And pick one? 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:33.600 And I'm not against gender reveals. I'm against them being 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:37.320 done in ways where they can har others, hurt harm others. Yes, 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:39.840 some have gotten really stupid. Can we just cut a 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.920 cake and keep it easy? Some get out of control? 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:43.360 Like I think it's cute if you know the guy 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.480 hits a golf ball and it explodes pink or blue? 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.400 You pop a balloon and it's either pink or blue inside? 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.120 Or what this woman we're about to bring on Kendra. 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.800 They lit a smoke bomb and a jack of lantern 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.760 because clearly it's Halloween and the pink smoke or the 0:09:56.760 --> 0:10:02.120 blue smoke comes out, so and that point that is 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:06.520 what drove this whole concept in this idea. Today was 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.839 this viral video that came out on I saw it 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:13.040 on TikTok of this woman, Kendra, who's already a mother 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:16.440 of three, and her and her husband and her three 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:19.240 girls are all dressed up and they're fall colors and 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.720 they're in the woods and they have a jackal lantern 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:26.199 and immediately the pink smoke starts billowing out of the 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:30.040 jack lantern. And her reaction is so genuine and so 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.680 honest because it was spur of the moment. And remember, 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.280 she has all the emotions of being pregnant, and she 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.800 starts to cry. She bends over, doubles over, and starts 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.200 to cry, and the older sister is kind of upset. 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.440 She wanted a little brother. Nobody really knew what to 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.680 do in the moment because everything was just so real 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:51.640 and so raw. And she posted this and I thought, 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:54.439 what a vulnerable, honest thing to post, because it's really 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:57.360 easy to be especially in this day and age. Trust me, 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.520 I know afraid of being canceled. So she could have 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:05.120 easily hid this, but she felt that this gender disappointment 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.120 is a real thing and it's something she felt, and 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:12.000 so we chased her down and we we have her 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:27.040 on the podcast today. So let's bring her on. So, Kendra, 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:28.920 first of all, thank you so much for joining us. 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:33.120 It's good to meet you. Nice too, And just so 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:38.160 everybody knows the timeline you actually have post posted this. 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.960 So your daughter has been born. She's beautiful, healthy, happy, 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:47.480 congratulations on being a mother of four beautiful girls, very blessed. 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:51.480 But you posted this about a year later after your 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:55.400 daughter was born. What prompted you to kind of open 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.480 up and be vulnerable and show that you actually were 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:01.120 in the moment anyway, you're not disappointed that you have 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.920 a beautiful girl, but in the moment you were disappointed. 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:09.600 It wasn't even like it wasn't even that I was 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.520 unhappy with the fact that it was a girl. It 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.160 was more of the fact that, like, for a split second, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:19.200 I had a very big moment obviously of sadness that 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:23.000 I will never experience, like having a boy, having a son, 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.800 having a mommy's boy. You know, I have a lot 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.000 of nephews, so I see the bonds and I just 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.840 had a moment where I was upset that, you know, 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.640 I'm never going to experience having a son because. 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:36.280 You knew this was going to be your last pregnancy. 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.720 You just said, yes, yes, it was going to be 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.120 my last pregnancy. It was very different actually could have 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.640 been in my head, but it was very different from 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:47.680 my other three pregnancies. So I saw it was a boy. 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:50.000 My husband was like, it's a girl, like for sure, 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.240 and I was like, no, mom knows. So I just 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.240 I just going in thought it was going to be 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:57.640 a boy. And just I mean, I wasn't even sad 0:12:57.640 --> 0:12:59.600 that it was a girl. It was just like just 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.680 that it of like sadness that I was never gonna get. 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.160 That's so so much sense to me. I think that's 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:05.920 so beautifully put. 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:08.920 You're not sad about what's happening, but you are sad 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:10.600 about something you know won't happen. 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.920 Yeah, And I mean I definitely like a lot of 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:17.000 friends and family that I shared with the pictures. You know, 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.480 I posted the pictures to Instagram, and so I mean 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.600 the pictures are on that video as well, and you 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.240 could see I obviously was upset, but all my friends 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.640 and family, like, you know, we're very supportive, and I 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.320 mean it was obviously once that initial were off, I 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.280 was like, how freaking awesome, I'm gonna have four girls. 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.760 Like I am just like happy that it's a healthy baby. 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:37.080 I'm like thriving. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.800 You know what, what I think is interesting. And Lauren 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:43.040 and I bring up topics all the time, you know 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.320 that really strike a chord, And I think it's just 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.520 because we don't talk about a lot of this stuff. Yeah, 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.880 like Laura and I dove into miscarriages one day and 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:55.240 just little just topics like this that are taboo and 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.600 they just we whisper them in corners, but we don't 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.439 really admit that we have these feelings. And that's why 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:01.880 I wanted to have you on. That's why I wanted 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:06.040 to talk about this today. When you posted this, was 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:10.240 the response overwhelming of oh my gosh, thank you, because yeah, 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:11.280 I felt this too. 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:15.640 Yeah, to be honest, I had an overwhelming amount of 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:18.959 positive comments. I had like a handful of negative. It 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:21.920 definitely was way more overpowered by positive and a lot 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:25.080 of people that like resided in like my the way 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:26.920 I felt, and they're like, oh my gosh, like I 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.800 experienced that as well, Like thank you for like I 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:31.360 don't feel like a monster anymore. 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:33.360 Like I you know, I had the same thing. 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.280 People made me feel horrible about it, and you know, 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.840 like so many, like so many positive comments. 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:41.440 I was overwhelmed. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.040 I think even one of my comments are on there 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.280 was like, I'm so overwhelmed with the amount of like 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:49.120 positivity and feedback I got because I never really thought 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:50.920 when I posted it it was gonna blow up. 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:51.560 Like I just. 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.720 Everyone was sharing their pumpkin trend photos and. 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:55.800 I know more about about Halloween. 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.720 Yeah, I was like excited, like feeling October, you know, 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.600 all fall feels, and I was like, I'm going to 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.360 post my gender reveal, like, you know, maybe somebody will 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:05.320 you know, reside with it. 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.760 I was also wondering, Kendra, if you were It's I 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.760 love hearing that you got positivity and that people related, 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.400 because that's the best possible outcome of social media. But 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.560 I was wondering if you were apprehensive or nervous at 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.560 all that people would attack you for having a feeling 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:33.920 that you wished for a certain gender. 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:39.400 Yes, definitely why I waited like almost two years to post, 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.800 you know, post it. I mean obviously everyone knew already that, 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.040 you know, I was, you know, at least close friends 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.840 and family that I was disappointed. But the Internet opens 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.320 you up to a lot more, you know, comments on 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:53.560 your life and stuff, So I mean I definitely was hesitant, 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:57.400 And you know, I definitely don't want people to ever 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.920 think that I don't love my baby or I just 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.320 didn't want a healthy baby. I am so grateful that 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.160 I got a healthy baby. I'm so grateful for all 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:06.920 of my girls. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:07.640 I love them. 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:10.440 I wouldn't change my life for anything. I'm meant to 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.240 be a girl mom, that's for sure. Clearly, I enjoy 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.320 my nephews a lot, so I get all the boy 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.120 love through my nephews. And I mean, yes, I was 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:22.360 definitely scared to speak out about my feelings and clearly, 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.280 you know a lot of people were upset with it. 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:27.840 So but it is not I'm not trying to disregard 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.800 anyone's feelings by any means. I just, you know, I 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:32.840 was hoping to reach an audience of people that could 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:34.320 reside with how I was feeling as well. 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.160 There's always, you know, no shortage of people that are 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.400 willing to tell you how to live your life because 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:40.360 they know they know best. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.360 After all, I also thought it was interesting, Kendra, like 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.440 watching your Well, what makes this video stick out so much, 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.160 I think is that you, as a mom are having 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.960 this reaction about not having a boy. So many I've 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:54.040 seen a lot of other videos where the dad's upset 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.640 he's not getting a boy, and then people kind of comment, oh, 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:57.400 typical guy. 0:16:57.840 --> 0:16:59.480 But do you think that's part of why it stuck 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:00.000 out to people? 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:01.800 And what did people say to you in the comments 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.240 about you being a mom wishing you were getting among. 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:05.760 Yeah, you know, a lot of comments. 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.760 Did you know note to the fact that like, oh, 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:10.080 if the husband were to react like that, people would 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.560 have like a heyday, right. And I mean I think 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:14.840 my husband going in, you know, knew it was a girl, 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.960 so you know. And also he loves his daddy's girls. 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:21.480 They take care of him, you know, so he gets 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.480 you know, he's got that and he loves it. I mean, 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.560 it's it's hard because, you know, I think what stuck 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:29.960 out a lot was my older daughter. 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.120 You know, Yeah, she has. 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:33.160 A stronger action. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:35.800 You can clearly see she wants to be an older 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:37.120 sister to a brother. 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.199 Second, I gave her the second I was pregnant with 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:43.359 my second baby. She was like I want a brother, 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:46.399 Like I want a brother, I want somebody to play, 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:48.560 you know, in the dirt. She was definitely more like 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:52.240 you know, forty, she's you know, more into like getting 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.720 down in the dirt and biking and stuff. So she's like, 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:56.800 I want a brother, you know. So then it was 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:06.119 like a sister, and it was another sister. Of course, 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.359 you know, everyone said, you know, I put it in 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:11.560 her head, but she was very you know, yeah, she 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:12.439 wanted brother. 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.439 You know. That's and I feel like that was natural 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:14.719 for her. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:16.560 You know, I would never put that in my kid's 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:19.040 head to like want a certain gender. But I feel 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.760 like all of my kids' reactions. I mean, obviously my 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.240 three year old at the time, she was more scared 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.320 of the smoke, but you know, my second daughter, she's 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:28.480 like jomping up for joy. 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.680 So I'm just like pop pop. So I think all 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:34.280 of our reactions all over the board is what really 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:34.880 made the video. 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.119 I just liked how genuine the reactions were. I mean, 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.040 your your reaction was immediate, instantaneous, so it was just 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.359 so real to me. I loved and I could relate 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.800 to your husband who immediately kind of had that thousand 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:48.640 yard stare of I don't know what to do, which 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:52.359 often we as husbands have that moment of oh god, 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:54.359 I'm just gonna rub her back and I'm going to 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.479 stay silent. And I loved it. I don't know if 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:59.320 it was a friend, a photographer, or family. Someone tried 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.000 to be a hype and in the moment of like 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:04.920 girl gang, yeah, like trying to like pump everybody up. 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:08.280 It was really like everything was so natural and so genuine. 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.920 That's what I really loved about it. 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:16.600 Yeah, and it was it was just a small moment, 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:18.760 like I we weren't going to do a photo shoot, 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.040 but you know, I was reminded it was my last pregnancy. 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:24.199 They're like, you know, do a gender reveal. And I 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.639 was scared to do a gender reveal for that, but 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:29.920