WEBVTT - Naked and Afraid 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck At Dating with de Nongler and Dared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.880 Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.120 Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:18.040 At Dating. We're near the end of March. We are 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:25.040 recording one of our first early morning episodes, and the 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:28.240 only thing I can think about right now is how 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:31.440 badly I need to go number two because mornings are 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:37.640 almost exclusively confined to my number two times. And this 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.320 early morning. When I say early, it's not early, it's 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:46.000 nine am, you dedicate the entire morning. Listen. My point 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:48.319 is I don't get anything done until after that's all 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:50.800 taken care of. And this is we're still in that 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:54.520 pre like you know, pre phase right now. There are 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:57.000 mornings like mornings that I have to run around and 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.240 then I don't end up going, and then because I 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.480 hold it in, I don't go till later that night. 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.959 My whole day's ruined. It's ruined. Well it's too elad 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:06.559 for me to say it's ruined, but I can feel 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:10.319 it festering within me right now. Um So, if I 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.840 get at the Lancey, if I get a little crabby 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.760 at all during this episode, just realized that I'm withholding 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:19.039 a lot of things. Well, I mean, hey, full disclosure, 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.720 this is a podcast. You can turn your video off 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.440 and just do what you need to do. I mean, no, 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:28.480 the audio would have to be off. I would like 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:30.679 to burn the computer afterwards. There's a lot that would 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.399 have to go into that. I appreciate it. I appreciate 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:34.679 the advice that you're trying to work with me with. 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:41.319 In fact, Klinklin, Um, I I don't not the only one. 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:43.320 Let's just let's just stay on the subject to number 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:44.920 two is for a little bit, I know, not the 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:49.960 only one, Um that takes maybe like abnormally long time 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.800 in the bathroom. Do you take a long time in 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:56.560 the bathroom? Oh yeah, Ashley always as she'll she'll knock sometimes, 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:59.400 which makes me so angry. She knows that I'm just 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:02.000 on my phone own and that's listen. I'm a dad. Now, 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.520 I have an excuse. I am on the toilet for 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:07.000 forty five minutes because it's it's my well maybe not 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:10.240 forty five minutes is dramatic, but twenty minutes, which feels 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:12.440 like forty five minutes when you're in the bathroom, but 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.240 I'm that's my quiet time. I have the fan on, 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.600 so there's ambient noise. So it's just it's I literally 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:22.519 turned into a baby. When we put Dawson in the crib, 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:24.600 we play white noise because it makes him feel like 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.960 he's in the womb. That's the bathroom fan to me, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.480 I go in from the bathroom fan on just kind 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.240 of like zone out, take a breather, I have a 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:34.679 moment to myself. There's no noise. It's great and uh 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.400 and then Ashley always just god damn it. She'll just like, 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:41.639 come not and she'd be like, you okay in there. 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.240 You've been in there for a while. And I'm like, Ashley, 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.799 do we have to go through this constantly? Just I'll 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.880 be right out. I'll be out. It's great too, because 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.840 it's like I'm a grown person. Of course I'm okay. 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.040 Like if if I wasn't okay, I would scream for 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.120 help or something like that. It's it's good to know 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.280 that I'm not alone in this fight because kay Lynn 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.840 Um it's always given me crap for how long I 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:04.400 am and she she used to give me a lot 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.120 of craps. She's learned to accept the fact that I'm 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.520 gonna be in there for thirty minutes. Um. And every 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:10.880 time I hear and a guy like say that they're 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:13.200 in a similar situation as me, it always like vindicates 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:14.919 me a lot, you know. Like I was watching a 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:17.079 shark tank the other day and Mark Cuban was like, listen, 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:18.920 if you're not on the toilet for long enough for 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:20.840 your legs to fall asleep, you're doing it wrong. And 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.400 I was like, Mark Cuban is speaking my love language 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.120 right now. Um. So, like I said, it always indicates 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.079 me a little bit. But let's number two. If you 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:30.799 want unlet's you want to stay on it. No, no, no, 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.040 just one last comment. It's really funny to me how 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:36.200 long sometimes I take at home and then how quickly 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:39.800 I do my business in a public bathroom, especially if 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:41.960 it's a one stall bathroom. When I walk in there, 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.040 it's like, okay, dude, I'm not joking. I still have 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.440 a little bit of insecurity about going the bathroom. When 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:51.960 even I'm married, it doesn't even matter. But when girls 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:54.520 are near the bathroom, I'm like, oh Jesus, if I 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.040 blow this thing up and it stinks, and they know, 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.640 like I walk out smells and they just look at me, 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.120 and I'm like, you know, what happened. Like, I'll just 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.640 go cry myself in the office because the thing is 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:08.640 at Audrey's full disclosure. It's a one stall bathroom and 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:10.400 I'm there all the time, right, so sometimes you know, 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:12.160 I gotta do my business. So I go in there 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.880 and there's only tables like four ft away. I'm like, 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.400 so dude, Like, I'm like, okay, if I do this 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:20.360 quickly enough, they'll just think I'm peeing, and I do. 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.880 I do the double flush, Like I'll go in there, 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:27.920 do my business, flush, then you know, proceed with the 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.120 wiping and then flush again. You know, try to get 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.039 the smell away as quickly as possible. Gotcha, got you? Yeah, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.120 that's that's a good style, a good method. I'm a 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.960 single flusher personally. It's it's the worst two is when 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:42.080 you go and expecting it to be quick and then 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.520 you know, fast forward twenty minutes later, you're you've made 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:46.920 the line of twenty people out the door, and then 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:48.320 you have to do the walk of shame when you 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:49.920 when you leave the back and you see the door 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.720 handle jiggling and you're like, Jesus God, just please go 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:57.640 away far away. Yeah, yeah, I help, I suck it. 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:01.000 Go into the bathroom in a timely manner. Um. Anyways, 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:04.760 especially episode for everyone out here today Jared and I, well, 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.880 Jared watched a little snippet of a TV show, Naked Attraction. 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.760 We're gonna talk about the craziest I've have no pun intended. 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:15.320 I've ever seen this show. I don't know when it airs, 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:17.880 I don't know where it airs. I just saw it. 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.600 Our producer texted it to us, and I watched it, 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.520 and I can't stop thinking about it. So we're gonna 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:25.920 talk about that in a second. Beyond that, we got 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.960 some emails, we've got some headlines, and it's just gonna 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.640 be us today, today, this week, it's just gonna be 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:35.520 the two boys. We've exhausted every single girl that wants 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.080 to come on this podcast. It's because we couldn't get 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.000 girls that would want to talk about poop and naked 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.400 attraction with us. So we're not even three months into 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:45.920 two and we're already out of guests. The new format 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.520 was fun all lasted, um, but it was doomed from 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.240 the start. Let's be honest, alright about this Naked Attraction. 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:55.160 So so one of the producers for our show, well, 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.640 our boss pretty much. She texted us. It was like, 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:00.240 check out this new show. It's called Naked Attraction, talked 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:01.839 about on the podcast because I think it's a good 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:05.520 content and this happens routinely obviously, and uh so I 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.240 was like, all right, cool, let me, you know, watch 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:08.920 an episode of let's see what it is. Because they 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:10.520 only sent us one episode. I don't even think it's 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:15.400 aired yet. Um dude, So this show, it's called Naked Attraction. 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:19.960 It's like The Bachelor or Bachelorette meets Naked and Afraid, 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:23.720 except there is no black box. There is no blurring 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:25.760 of anything. I don't know if this is the way 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:31.000 it's gonna go when it's nationally broadcasted. So apparently it's 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:35.080 gonna air on Channel four. I don't know where this is. 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.120 It's got to be in the UK. They all had accents, 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:41.000 so it has to be in London. And so the 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.400 show is listen. It was one dude and it was 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:46.839 I think eight women. Bro. So they're behind this box 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.880 so you can't see them, and then he talks about 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:54.320 you know, what he's looking for and a girl physically, emotionally, 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:56.880 all these things, and what it is is you judge 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.400 someone by how good they look naked. I'm not joking. 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.440 So the box, So they're in a box, and then 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:05.279 it's like, okay, raise so we can see the lower 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.200 half of their body. Dude, the box rises up to 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:13.000 their waist. You see everything. I'm not joking. Every vagina 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.280 is out there just to the world. And he's looking 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.880 there talking about him. He's like, oh, yeah, you know 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:21.600 this one. You know I could tell by you know, 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.880 the way her legs look, she's good shape, or like, 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:28.240 oh I like someone with curves. And they're just talking 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:33.160 outwardly about this while all these women's vaginas are out 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:37.640 in the open. Dude, it's insane. When when it raised, 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:39.600 I was like, okay, it's they're gonna be in bathing 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:42.840 suits or it will be blurred out like on Naked 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:46.920 and Afraid. Nope, you see everything. And dude, when you 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:51.280 see a vagina, just a vagina, like from the waist down, 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:59.360 no full body, it's listen, it's obviously attractive, but it's 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.960 like you're definitely not like it's not a turn on, 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:06.040 you know what I mean. I mean, you're just looking 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.400 at the lower half of the body. And you know 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:13.320 what's funny is that I found myself watching this show thinking, Okay, 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:17.000 I guess what what do I like? Because dude, they 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:22.080 were describing in detail like it was crazy because like 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:27.480 obviously summer, how do I phrase this? Um? You know 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:31.840 how like a belly button hasn't any or an outing? Hm, well, 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:35.040 I think that that might also pertain two different parts 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:36.960 of the body. And they were talking about that, and 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:38.840 then I thought about in my head, like what do 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:42.560 I prefer? Uh, it was crazy, and then like he 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.679 eliminates two women based on that, and then they raise 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.600 it up and then they walk out and hug and 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:52.440 the woman is fully naked, so he sees like what 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:56.320 he lost out on and then they then the girls 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.040 like the next round, they turn around so you see 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.800 their butts and like he's like talking like, oh, this 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.400 one is like I really like this one, dude. It's 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:08.439 so crazy. And then of course, like they raise it 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:11.359 up to their neck so you see you know, boobies, 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.960 and then you know, finally he gets down to like 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.839 the final person and then he chooses one and then 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.360 it gets lifted and you see the whole face and 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:24.480 you see what he picked. And then they do this 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:28.000 for guys too, because in in the previews because this 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.080 episode was just about a guy with like eight women, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.440 but the previews the next one is one woman who 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.480 picks the guys and there's like eight dudes. Dude, just 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:40.079 penis everywhere out and about flagellent penis, as Eastern put 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:45.360 it earlier, just hanging out out in the wind. Crazy. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.000 I gotta be honest with you, Jared, Um, I lied 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:50.480 to you, and I didn't mean to lie to you, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:53.880 But I have seen the show before. UM, so I 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.440 appreciate you explaining it to everyone out there because the 0:09:56.440 --> 0:10:02.240 listeners needed to hear that, because it's pretty crazy. Um. 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.360 And the reason I've seen the show is my buddy 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.120 produces television in London, funny enough, and when I was 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.480 out there visiting, he was like, you got to see 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:11.760 this show. It's the craziest thing in the world. And 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:16.680 it legitimately is one of the craziest shows I've seen 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:20.440 on TV. Because you're right, it's like, hey, you're seeing 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.959 way more than you're used to seeing, Like, like, well, 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.320 who's the audience, you know what I mean? Like, I 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:29.439 guess people like us, Like what if a kids just 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.600 randomly scrolling through the channels and they pop on channel 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:33.360 four and allmus and they see a big penis in 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.160 their face. But how can Channel four not blur this? 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:40.800 That's my question because we got, you know, an advanced 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:42.840 copy or whatever you want to say. We didn't watch 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.920 it on cable, so like on cable, is everything gonna 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:48.840 be blurred out? Because that makes the world. You know, 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:50.880 America was founded by a bunch of prudes, right, I 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:53.080 think that they're just a lot more free with their 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:59.760 sexuality over there. Yeah. Maybe. Um, Jared, I've got a 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:02.800 question for you that Hannah eloquently wrote in the chat. 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.480 Would you be able to tell whether or not you'd 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.000 be attracted to someone just by looking at the lady parts? No? 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:15.000 M absolutely not, no way, because I you know, listen, 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:21.160 I love all lady parts, you know. Uh, And I'm like, no, 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:25.440 there's no way. All right, Hannah pop up here for 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:31.600 a of course. Second, would you, as a woman, if 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.520 you went on this show, do you think you would 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.280 be able to tell how attractive someone was just by 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:45.000 seeing their penis? No, I'd be disgusted. Yeah, penises are disgusting. Yeah. 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:47.520 I just think I think it's really interesting because it's 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:50.360 the complete opposite of Love is Blind, which is super 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:54.640 popular right now, where people get married without even seeing 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.000 each other. And this is the complete opposite, where people 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:01.679 pick their person based on just what they see. So 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.839 I don't know what I'd rather do. Probably love is 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:08.160 blind A thousand percent love is blood. I might this 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.600 might be pretty um ignoring to me to say, but 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:15.120 I do think, based off of basically no information and 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:19.600 and no forethought before saying this, that it is easier 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.800 to tell whether you'll be physically attracted to a woman 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:26.800 by looking at her bottom half than it will be 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:32.160 I'm looking at a man's lower half. You know, I 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.199 think a woman's lower half is more indicative of their 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:38.280 upper half than a man's lower half is. I also think, 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:41.160 you know, obviously we're two straight white men, so we're 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:46.440 obviously attracted to women. But I agree with you. I 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:50.160 do think a woman's body is much more beautiful than 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.160 a man's body. Well, that's not what I'm saying, That's 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:54.199 that's what I'm saying. I'm saying the lower half is 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:56.800 more telling of what the upper half will look like. 0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:00.280 The men's lower half is telling to addict you. But 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.680 I think you learned you could you could make a 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.480 more accurate guess by just seeing the girl's lower half 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:09.280 than you could the guy's lower half. I listen, I'm 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.800 a somewhat secure man, like I feel like I'm not 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:17.080 you know, I feel like I have certain physical good 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:21.400 qualities about me that I'm confident about. But dude, if 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:24.520 somebody was judging me by my lower half, do you know, Harry, 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:28.360 my thighs are Yeah, That's what I'm saying. Like, it's 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.320 just I remember there was a there was a group 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:32.400 date on our season of The bachelorrette it was a 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.760 sumo wrestling date, and the guys that went on the 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:39.320 date had to wear these pretty much thongs, and uh, dude, 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:41.280 I remember Ben and I were looking at each other 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:44.800 and we're like, if we I'm not joking. Both of 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.120 us were like, if we get picked on this date, 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.600 like we have to, we're gonna shave each other's asses 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.360 in the next five minutes because then we cannot go 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:56.480 on national television. Hannah literally just dropped after. So you're 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.360 proving my point for me because I'm in the same 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.480 boat as you. I'm not as hairy as you, um, 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.320 but I have my faults as well, I would say, 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.040 from from the waist down. Jared in my opinion, you're 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.520 a two. From the waist to the nipples, you're probably 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.600 a four. But from the nipples up you're you're a 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.720 hard tent. From the nipples up, you're a hard tent, 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.600 in my opinion. I I'm not maybe to that same degree, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.800 but I'm close. You know, I'm like an eight tow 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:26.320 down to the nipples and then a five down to 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.760 the waist, and then it's a one from there down. 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:34.240 And that's my point is I would still consider us 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:37.920 generally conventionally attractive guys. If you always saw our lower 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.320 half of our bodies, you would never guess that because 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.880 the lower half of our bodies are disgusting. Yeah, I 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.320 almost want someone like yourself to go on this show, 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:48.920 so you know, because I'll tell you what. We can 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.840 have our own little fake show right now. See I 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:57.520 just in zoom, just venue man, just recording, dude. And also, 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:02.480 like I give because I gotta be honest as a guy. 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:07.680 I haven't seen too many other guys penises. I'm gonna 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.480 I'm not gonna lie like in everyday life locker room. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.240 You know, I played sports of my life, but it's 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:16.000 never been like that, Like I've never you know, got like, uh, 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:17.800 you know, been the locker room showered with other guys. 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.520 So my point being is that the only other male 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:25.600 genitals that I've really seen are from either porn or 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:31.560 in these shows that the guy's got a ridiculous, ridiculous knob, 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.200 Like what was that show, Hannah, Maybe you don't remember 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.360 what it was, where it was everybody paused. It came 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:40.600 out like a year ago, and everybody paused sex life. 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.080 That's right. There was like this whole thing on Instagram 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:47.520 but like pause as episode one twelve minutes and thirteen seconds, 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:50.920 and then I, being naive, saw this all over social media. 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:52.080 It was like, all right, I gotta get you. I 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:53.920 gotta see this, I gotta see what everybody's talking about. 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.440 And it's literally just a dude in a shower with 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.800 like a thirteen inch flatshument penis. It was. It was, 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.720 It's like crazy, So away, my point being is those 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.240 are the only really other male genitals that I've seen. 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:08.000 So as a guy, you know, listen, I'm confident in 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.400 my area, but what are I what do I What 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:15.000 am I saying? Oh? I said flash flacid? Thank you? Anyway, 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.240 I digress. This is a weird conversation, this is a 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:20.880 weird podcast being let's just get down and dirty anyway, 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:24.880 as a you know, listen, I'm confident in you know myself, 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.520 having said that, there is no way in hell that 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:31.040 if they were like, hey, listen, I want you to 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.560 go on national television, just pull down your pants and 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.520 then they're only going to see the bottom half of 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:38.800 your waist, and then they're going to decide whether you're 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:42.000 attractive or not or whether they want to date you. No, 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.280 are you out of your mind? I'm not that confident. 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:47.160 So I actually give a lot of these contestants a 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.200 ton of credit because it takes balls to be like, 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.680 oh yeah, I'll go on national television. I'll have them 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:56.160 only see from my waist down, and I feel good 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.320 enough that they'll pick me. I think you have to 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.520 be in order to go on the show. You have 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.720 to be kind of like inherently an exhibitionist to the 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.480 point where you're already showing a lot of other people 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.240 your exposed body. Because like, what is the pitch like 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:11.800 for that show to be a contestant? You know, I 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:14.520 can only like it would be I wouldn't do it either, 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.560 But I don't think that we're necessarily the people that 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.399 they're scouting to go on that show. I hope not 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.800 like we talked about, nobody wants to see my bottom half, 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:26.159 poor Ashley, right or maybe yeah? Yeah, I mean I 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.280 wouldn't mind. I would mind taking a look, just like 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.520 medical purposes, just to say curiosity. But no, I mean 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:34.360 I agree with you. I mean I'm on the same 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.960 boat as you, Like, in my entire life, I've seen uh, 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.399 you know, I would I would say I could count 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:42.640 on my hands the number of penises that I've seen 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:50.119 in real life, which which it might be high, I 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.760 don't know, but I definitely I might need both hands, 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:54.720 but I think I could get to the number at 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.360 some point within my first two hands. So by that 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.440 logic into what you're saying is like you see these 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.600 TV shows Tommy and Pamela. You see he's wearing like 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:09.000 this prosthetic penis and it's granted, tom Uh, Tommy what's 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.800 his name did have a big penis in real life 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:15.320 and still does obviously, uh, but you're still you know, 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.280 it's a it's a comparison, thig Tommy late, thank you 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.399 for this. I want to know because Eastern keeps chiming 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:22.000 into the chat, Eastern, I want to know your thoughts 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.840 on this show. I feel like you might have some 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:28.960 interesting ones. Being a fellow, uh you know person who 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:33.119 probably you know has a harry lower half. Well you wait, wait, 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:35.080 wait wait wait wait can we Easton? I'm so sorry 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.919 to interrupt you real quick. So this is interesting because 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:40.119 this is kind of like a naked attraction flipped on 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.919 its head, because we know what Easton looks like, and 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.080 now you're guessing what the rest of his body looks 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:46.600 like based off what you already know about, and so 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:49.399 you're you're in versing the game a little bit. So 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:53.280 Easton's got a hairy lower half thousand percent. I would 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:57.320 be shocked if he's uh, you know, like a baby's 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.160 bottom down there. Okay, well I would love to let 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:05.320 can we solve this this riddle for us? Wow? Um, 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.960 I do have a very hairy lower half. H you know, 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.880 you know it's interesting about my body hair and uh, 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:16.679 Hannah get hrs here. Um My my hair is like 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.680 it's almost like chaps like I have, Like it's the 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.760 hair goes up my leg, up my thigh and then 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:26.760 like there's like weird hairless patches. Around like my upper thigh, 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:29.399 and then it goes back up a little little patch 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:32.800 on the back nothing and then a tank top up 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.520 here and then nothing on the arms and on the back. 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:39.639 It sounds like my face right. I wish it would connect. 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.520 I wish I had that cool like you know, just 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:45.760 like rug of chest hair and like so you were 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.040 like a full Austin powers. I do I do. I 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.240 really want that really badly. I don't know why you 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:53.160 don't have that. And this is this is purely conjecture, um, 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:55.600 and it's probably entirely wrong. But I have similar issues, 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:57.720 not issues, because they're not the issues. We're still perfect 0:19:57.720 --> 0:19:59.840 the way that we are. UM. I've noticed that if 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:03.760 I where the hairless spots on my body are where 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:06.440 like clothing would rub often, you know what I mean, 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:09.680 That's what I thought. I've worn tight pants for a 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.320 good amount of my adult life, and uh yeah, that's 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:16.159 probably like where the pockets rub, where the red the 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.719 rest of the jeans are rubbing. UM. But I do 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.040 have I am a harry person, Jared, that's a fair guess. 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.920 I just you know, I I you know, as a 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:28.720 hairy person myself. I wh I I can tell when 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:31.639 somebody's like me, Hannah, I have a question for you 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.360 as a as a as a woman. Uh, do you 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:43.240 like hair on a guy's chest? I don't like a 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:48.640 guy to have no hair, but not super hairy. Well yeah, 0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:50.680 I mean there's a nice little balance there. But I 0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:54.320 always think of Henry Cavill because there is a shot 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:57.080 in Man of Steel because he plays Superman where he's 0:20:57.119 --> 0:20:59.760 running with his shirt off, and I want that exact 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:06.160 out of hair on my body. Oh it's I gotta send. 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:11.480 It's pretty good. I'm so excited. Like his chest and 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:16.000