WEBVTT - Ep. 326: This Country Life - Letting Go 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:06.920 Welcome to this country Life. 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.400 I'm your host, Brent Reeves from cone hunting to trot 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.680 lining and just general country living. 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:13.960 I want you to stay. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.799 Awhile as I share my experiences and life lessons. This 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:21.280 country Life is presented by Case Knives on Meat Eaters 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:25.480 Podcast Network, bringing you the best outdoor podcast. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:26.320 The airwaves have to offer. 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:30.880 All right, friends, grab a chair or drop that tailgate. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:41.920 I've got some stories to share. Letting go. Life lessons 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:46.400 arrive in various vessels during our natural maturation and understanding 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.040 of the world around us. We advance in knowledge of 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:53.639 the things in our environments incrementally, a little bit at 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:57.200 a time, allowing us to see and experience the real 0:00:57.320 --> 0:01:01.640 world in advancing degrees of complexity. It's how we learn 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:04.959 the good in the world and the harsh realities of 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:09.200 the same space. This first story is a prime example 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:13.039 of what can happen when you least expected. It's a 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:17.960 discussion as mentors, a responsibility to make our young ones 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.240 know parents can prepare them for everything, and when they're 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:24.319 out of our reach, they have to be. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:25.960 Prepared for anything. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.280 It's a little heavy, but I think it's important, and 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.760 we'll finish up with a celebration, but before we do, 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:42.839 I'm going to tell you the story. This one comes 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:47.640 from Ken Nysley. Ken's from New Holland, Pennsylvania, and he 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:50.400 shared the following story. I think it says a lot 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.080 on many different levels, but I'm gonna let you decide 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:57.240 for yourself what it all says without any bias from 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:58.160 me to begin with. 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.040 So, in Ken's word, in my voice, here we go. 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.560 Sometimes in life it feels like the Good Lord has 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:09.640 a way of shining down on you, or maybe it's 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:10.480 just plain. 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:12.520 Luck that comes your way when you least expected. 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.760 I was the oldest child in a family where my 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:19.800 father didn't hunt, and that was a heavy burden to bear. 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:22.639 I often thought it was one of the most unfair 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:26.280 things life had helped me. While my friends boasted about 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:28.800 their fathers taking them hunting and flowning their trophies with 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:32.200 deer hanging proudly from the meadpoles, I was left to 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:37.080 stew and jealousy. Growing up on a chicken farm, my 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.360 days were filled with gathering eggs and feeding the animals, 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:44.200 and from what seemed like from dawn till dusk, I 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:45.200 longed for the. 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:45.880 Thrill of the hunt. 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.640 The chance to roam the woods and discover the wild 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.600 life didn't seem fair, not one little bit, And as 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:55.440 a boy of fourteen or fifteen, I felt that burning 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.880 desire to learn the ways of hunting, to step into 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:03.560 that world that seems so tantalizingly out of reach. I 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.240 had my father's old twenty two it's made in nineteen 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.520 o six to keep the squirrels and the blue jays 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:11.520 away from the cowd trees, but I yearned for something more. 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:16.280 The azer came from my cousin Ernie, a farm boy 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:20.600 like me, a few years older, with similar daily responsibilities. 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.799 But Ernie had found a way to slip away from 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:30.000 the farm into those magical woods, chasing after whitetail. Before long, 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.640 he gathered us cousins with fathers who didn't hunt, and 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:34.120 began teaching. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:34.520 Us the ropes. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.360 He showed us our first rubs and how to spot 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:40.760 the markings on saplings. Ernie taught us about scrapes and 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.720 trails and tracks, and how to decipher the droppings, and 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.320 how to watch the wind figure out where that buck 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:51.440 might cross our path. We put in the time, scouted, 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.360 and rose early to drive to our hunting spots, but 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:59.000 success didn't come as easily as out hope. For Ernie, 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:03.240 it seemed very He backed a ten corner on opening day, 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.600 and my heart burned with a fierce desire to following 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:10.320 his footsteps. I had to get my first deer, but 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:14.320 it felt like such a distant dream. One day, Ernie 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.359 shared the news that he got permission to hunt a 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:19.320 farm forty five minutes away, a place that held the 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:24.240 promise of adventure. So early one Saturday morning, Ernie, our 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:28.200 cousin Butch, and I set off the air crisped with anticipation. 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.080 Ernie guided me off the dirt lane is flashlight dancing 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:34.640 among the trees. He told me to find a tree 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:37.880 and climb up, and I felt the thrill of excitement 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:40.719 as I hoisted that Baker's style tree stand up the trunk, 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.400 hugging that tree tightly as I climbed higher and higher 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.000 until I found my perch. 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.560 Sounds effortless, but it wasn't. He had to shut your 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:51.120 brain off. 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:53.480 What was happening to your chest as you did your 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.599 aerobics in that tree, climbing up higher and higher. And 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.880 it was normal back then for me to have bruised 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:05.400 and scraped up chest during hunting season. Once I got settled, 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.520 I pulled my remy till eight seventy up with me, 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:11.520 I loaded it and I sat in silence, watching the 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:15.360 world awaken around me. Time seemed to stretch as I 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:20.040 watched squirrels, and then a dough stepped into view. My 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.960 heart raised as I raised my shotgun, I squeezed the trigger, 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.800 and I watched her bolt a mere ten yards before 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:30.960 falling over. And at that moment I transformed from a 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:33.920 boy waiting for his chance to become a triumphant hunter 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:40.160 to finally claiming my first deer. Now, after the season closed, 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:44.600 Ernie and I began planning for next year. We returned 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.839 to the public land we had hunted the year before, 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:52.239 but look it eluded me. Weekend after weekend we hunted, 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:56.600 but deer number two was nowhere to be found. And 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:00.560 then Ernie mentioned that farm, the same place that had 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:03.080 brought me good fortune the year before, and with a 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:07.200 flicker of hope, I agreed. So once more we set 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.960 off of that familiar place, and I found myself climbing 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.680 the same tree one year later. Little did I know 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:17.440 that that day would test my very being and make 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:19.880 me question whether I ever. 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:24.520 Wanted to hunt again. At daybreak, several doors wandered into 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.440 the clearing. I raised my age seventy. 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.599 I aimed carefully and I shot, and the deer took off, 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.159 and I shot again, and to my surprise, one of 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:36.200 them fell. Now I already had taught me that you 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.640 need to wait awhile before you get down from your 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.520 tree to give the animal time to expire. But I 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.680 could see from my perch that that dough I shot 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:48.680 was trying but unable to get up and needed to 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.479 be finished off. I had two shells left, and I 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.920 made the choice to use my next last shell, and 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:57.599 I needed to do it quickly, and I climbed down 0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:59.640 and I walked up and I did what had to 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.040 be done. 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.200 But a heavy weight replaced the. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.880 Joy in my heart, as I did not want that 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:10.360 animal to suffer. We dragged that deer back to the truck, 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:12.440 and as we drove towards the store that was also 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:17.200 a check station, I continued to fight with queasiness and 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:21.000 feel good, and the unease settled deep within me. My 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:23.880 cousins debated whether to grab hot dogs and drinks, and 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.080 it was all I could do to shake the queasiness 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:31.040 that crept into my stomach image of that deer struggling 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:34.160 as I approached it that it haunted me, and I 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:38.160 knew what I had done was necessary, but bothered me. 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:43.440 The thrill of the hunt had soured, and I wondered 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:45.960 if I was cut out for this life. 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:47.120 As we pulled into the. 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:50.560 Parking lot, another truck roared in beside, his tires screeching 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.320 on the pavement. The driver swung open his door as 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.960 I stepped out on the pastor's side. To my shocking heart, 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.480 I saw his window explode in. 0:07:58.480 --> 0:07:59.680 A shower of glass. 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.440 It rained like confetti all around our feet, and my 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.560 heart raised as I went on high alert. What I 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:08.720 saw next rashed it up the turmoil of my stomach considerably, 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.280 and blood ran down the man's face. And this wasn't 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:15.360 a sight encountered where I lived. But what happened next 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:19.680 was even more serric. He locked eyes with me, and 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.120 before I knew it, he grabbed me, wrapping his arms 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:25.240 around me and shaking me fiercely. His breath came in 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.440 ragged gasp as he uttered the words that would forever 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:31.560 be etched in my memory. Take me to Greenwood, Take 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.080 me to the hospital. That boy of mine unshot me 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:40.600 and my wife. In that instant, my sixteen year old 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:44.080 mine went into overdrive, spinning wildly on the gravel in 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.800 my brain, and I stood frozen and grappling with the 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:53.000 reality of what I was seeing and experiencing physically. And 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:55.720 then a bystander came rushing up, claiming he knew the 0:08:55.720 --> 0:09:00.720 injured man and he would take him for help. Washed 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:04.160 over me as he let go and climbed into the 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.320 other man's vehicle. The grim reality of that morning waenthed 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:11.880 heavily on me, and as we pieced together the story, 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:14.800 we learned that the man's son had shot at his truck. 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:18.880 A tiny hole in the passenger side window told the tale, 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:24.120 and the bullet grazed his face. It was one lucky man, 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:28.760 but it seemed like I was one unlucky boy. The 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:31.400 beauty of that morning, with its crisp bear and the 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:38.040 promise of adventure, had been shattered in an instant. I 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.959 returned home that day with more than just a deer 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.839 in the back of the truck. I carried the weight 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:48.240 of a harsh lesson. Learned the thrill of the hunt 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:51.320 had been tainted by the harsh realities of life and death, 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:54.000 and I questioned whether I could ever enjoy it again. 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.520 And yet as time passed, I came to understand that 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:01.520 hunting is a part of life, life and a life 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:06.000 that is often unpredictable and filled with both joy, sorrow 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:11.280 and unpredictability. It's been forty four years since that day. 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:14.400 In every fall, I still find myself wondering the woods, 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.319 feeling the pull of nature and the thrill of the hunt. 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.240 Every now and then, my mind drifts back to that 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.480 faithful day when a young boy faced the harsh realities 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:26.040 of the world. 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:26.720 And it was a. 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.960 Hard lesson, but it helped the shape be into the 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:36.240 hunter and a man I am today. I've learned to 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:40.680 embrace the experience and a camaraderie with family and friends, 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:45.680 and respect for the life that sustains us all. And 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:51.640 according to Ken Nicely, that's just how that happened. Now 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:55.240 in this episode, I'm talking about our young ones, maturity 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.960 and moving about out of our direct control. And there's 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:01.640 so many things within Ken's story that it spoke Jimmy. 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:03.520 His passion for. 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:07.319 The outdoors, his respect for wildlife, his duty and responsibility 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.400 as an ethical hunter, and as a young man caught 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:16.080 in a situation beyond his control. All things that we 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:20.559 can influence as parents. If something like that can happen 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:24.280 in the middle of rural Pennsylvania, it can happen anywhere. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.040 And while we can't and shouldn't live in fear, we 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:34.640 have to remain ever vigilant. That's a lesson for any age. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:35.959 Thanks for sharing. 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:47.680 Ken May is a transition month, and where I live, 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.680 spring is beginning to give way to summer. Turkey hunting 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:54.680 activity starts tapering off Yearling bear cubs begin looking for 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:59.000 their own space, and high school seniors say goodbye to 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:00.840 one way of life. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:05.120 And they'll load to another. Twelve years is a long time, 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.440 thirteen if you count kindergarten, and how could you not. 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.560 For many of us, it was the end of a 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.920 different era as well as the beginning of a new one. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.840 Work for many families these days is a husband and 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.240 wife partnership. The days of housewives and stay at home 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:25.160 moms are now the exception to the rule, when only 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.880 a generation or so ago it was the standard. Things change. 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:29.400 I get it. 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.200 They have to change in order for us to progress, 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:36.160 and I'm not big on change, but don't misunderstand me. 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.480 I'm not advocating for moms, wives, husbands, or dads to 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.480 stay at home. I'm merely pointing out the fact that 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:46.720 things change. We lived in Star City, Arkansas for a 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.800 short period of time. This was before I started school 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.400 and rising. My mama didn't work then, and I remember 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.640 going outside to get milk and butter off the steps 0:12:56.720 --> 0:13:00.200 early in the mornings with her that the milkman had 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:04.199 delivered way before daylight. I spent all day with her 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.960 every day and would until I started kindergarten. 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:08.920 When I did, I didn't want to go. 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:13.319 Everything I knew and was familiar with was there within 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:17.960 the confines of her companionship and our routine. That was 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:21.800 safety and security and all the things I associated with 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:25.080 living Unnaturally, one wouldn't want. 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:26.480 To deviate from that routine. 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.240 But the big yellow bus, in the case of all 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:32.679 younguns growing up in the country, when I did, waited 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:33.840 for us all. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.280 There was no escape. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.120 At some point during my sixty year of life, I 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.679 had to get on the biggest conveyance I'd ever seen 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.560 and trust the driver with my life and my schedule. 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.880 On top of all that, my Mama made me get 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:52.360 on it, and I felt a trade you have to 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.880 go to school, Brent, a phrase that would be repeated 0:13:55.920 --> 0:14:00.240 to me by her for the next twelve years. Range 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.560 us back to what I started this oration out with 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:08.360 five paragraphs ago, the month of May. The past few 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:10.719 weeks on social media has been full of pictures of 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:13.400 a child's last time in whatever grade they're in, each 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.199 parent announcing the pride and the milestones that their kids 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.280 are carrying out. But it's the parents of the seniors 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:23.600 that get most of my attention. I'm glad my mama 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.920 didn't have Facebook back when I was in school. Her 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.960 post would have been something like, can't believe Brent got 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:31.480 out of the sixth grade without going to prison. Here's 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:35.120 to a great summer a Lenia judge and juvenile probation. 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:41.320 Not really, but it could have been. There's a lot 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:44.560 to unpack for those parents and students, regardless of if 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:47.520 it's the first time for each or just another in 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:51.680 a succession of graduating offspring. It's hard thing to do, 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.440 at least it was for me on both ends. Yet 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:59.360 it is the natural progression in life. For eighteen years, 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:02.480 we nurture and train, to teach discipline and provide the 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:07.120 foundation for our children. To function in society, to take 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.120 care of themselves, and hopefully become an asset to the 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.720 community of humans inhabiting this spending over confusion that we 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.200 all share. I think back to what it was like 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:21.480 when my oldest graduated that time. My youngest wasn't even 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:25.480 born yet. Now I cried like a baby. I ain't 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.560 vaccinated against squalling about it now just thinking about it. 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:34.920 And my oldest daughter, Aimy, graduated sixteen years ago. I've 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:37.280 never wanted any of them to leave, but I also 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:40.040 know that that's not how it works, or should work. 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.200 I was one of them at one time, and I 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:47.000 couldn't wait to get out on my own. The excitement 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.760 and the anxiousness of the future and seeing what was 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.080 just over the next hill is how we got to 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.920 this country in the beginning. It's also how the folks 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.840 that were already here called smallpox and ran out of Buffalo. 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:05.240 Good and bad in everything. Growing up and growing older, 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:11.240 it's no different. I worked in the woods for different 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.840 forestry concerns until I became old enough to work in 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.800 law enforcement, the career I chosen for myself in elementary school, 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.880 when I realized I couldn't grow up to be a 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:24.640 mountain man or a Hollywood stunt man. Now, thirty three 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.120 years of police work later, I'm not sure that stunt 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:28.840 man things didn't actually work out. 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:31.720 It sure feels like it sometimes. 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.280 My parents did all they could do to prepare me 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.560 for life outside the nest. My teachers and coaches, several 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.760 of whom I've mentioned on here, did the same, and 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.880 I didn't pay much attention to any of them. My 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:48.400 life had been a mission of fun to that point, 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:53.680 with nothing else really mattering, and tomorrow would always be tomorrow. 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.640 There's always time when you're young and getting older and 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:01.520 growing up with something you wished for but never realized. 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.800 It was like Christmas and getting the driver's license, or 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.199 going on a first date, hanging out uptown on the 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.440 weekends on Friday and Saturday night. It would take forever 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.520 for those times to get here, but when they finally did, man, 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.320 we're going to have fun forever and it will never end. 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.800 And then it gets here the keys to the family car, 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:25.679 a curfew and a little spending money. Two years from now, 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.680 I'll graduate high school and then it's worker college. Either way, 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.280 that's two years and forever away. 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.960 But it's not in the blink of an eye, it's over. 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.560 Even when I found myself filling out graduation announcements and 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:44.879 staring straight down the double barrel shotgun of reality, it 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:50.320 seemed like there was always time until there was I've 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:52.760 seen that look on some parents' faces over the past 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:56.120 few weeks, perients in my family and those of family 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:59.919 friends who were seemingly changing diapers one day and schedule 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.960 in college and trade school visits the next. Now I've 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.240 done it twice myself in two thousand and nine and 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:11.040 two thousand and sixteen. I have one more to go. 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:16.159 Six years from now. Six years fifty two thousand, five 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:20.879 hundred and sixty hours, two thousand, one hundred and ninety 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:24.399 one days. Now, that would be a long time to 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.440 be in jail, a long time to work at a 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:31.359 job that you didn't like, and an even longer time 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:35.359 to be sick. But the last six years of having 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:39.120 your child at home, Man, it burns by so quick 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:48.240 you can't even smell the smoke. At the end of 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.159 the next six years, my baby girl Bailey and my 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:55.359 oldest granddaughter Piper will graduate high school the same year, 0:18:56.520 --> 0:19:01.720 and I may need medication. Six may be the most 0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:05.960 important six years in preparation for the rest of their lives, 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:09.680 and I would argue that anyway, this was a critical 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:12.159 time for me and how I saw the world, or 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:16.359 in all actuality, I didn't see it. I relied on 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.119 manners and charming my teachers to get me through school 0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:22.360 and studying, and half the effort I put towards football 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.840 and everything else. But school would have served me well 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:30.000 beyond furthering my education. I didn't know how to study. 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.840 I could halfway pay attention in class, do well enough 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:37.000 to pass, and keep my grades good enough to stay 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:41.000 in sports and keep my mother at bay. I saw 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.560 the same thing in my son, Hunter, who I never 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:47.080 saw crack a book all during high school, and he 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.000 graduated near the top of his class of nearly a 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:54.600 thousand students, only a few tenths of a point away 0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:59.560 from perfection. But even he got slapped in the face 0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:02.320 with a had radic reality when he got to college 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:05.960 by not being prepared on out of study. Alexis warned him, 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:09.960 college is going to be different, Bubba. He had to 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:12.639 scramble and teach himself how to do that all on 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:13.080 his own. 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:15.399 But he did it. But it wasn't easy. 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:19.800 The fact is that's all different, college work, making a 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:22.199 life for yourself, whatever it is they choose to do 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.359 at Our job from the moment we bring them home 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.639 from the hospital is to prepare them for the last 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:32.840 time they walk out the door. Is our possessions. It's 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:36.240 not our job to prepare the world for our children. 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.959 It's to prepare our children for the world. When the 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:47.080 opposite of that is the easiest, running interference, fighting their battles, 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:49.719 letting them win, and ignoring the negatives makes for a 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:54.320 happier child, but a sadder adult because reality is cruel 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:58.560 and it spares no one. Alexis and I won't Bailey 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:01.399 to succeed in everything she does, but we also know, 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.800 as hard as it is to watch, that she has 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:09.520 to fail and experience loss. The lesson, then, is how 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:13.679 she deals with it, and that's our job. Accepting loss 0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:16.440 and using it to learn and get better is the 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:21.320 only way you learn and get better. That's how we 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:24.240 prepare her for the times when we're not there, and 0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:27.120 the decisions that she makes, good or bad, and how 0:21:27.160 --> 0:21:31.000 she reacts to the outcomes rest on how we've prepared 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:37.040 her for those moments. Being humble and triumph and gracious 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:40.040 and loss. Both of those are hard to do, and 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:43.680 I don't know which is harder. I'm no shining example 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:46.960 of either. What I am is barely intelligent enough to 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:50.000 realize how much better I would be as a man 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:54.440 of faith, husband, father, a brother, and a friend if 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:58.280 I was. And that's the best thing that we can 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.800 do for our children in the community in which they live, 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:04.160 is to teach them not to be like us, but 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.440 to be like what we wish we were and want 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:12.560 them to be. Last weekend, our little family spent Saturday 0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:17.080 and Sunday eating barbecue and crawfish, celebrating two graduates from 0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:19.960 our circle of friends who are just like our family. 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:26.359 Two high school seniors, Trevor and Savannah, sweethearts all through school, 0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:29.800 both shining examples of what a young lady and a 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:33.960 young man would be if nineteen fifties Hollywood had. 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:38.600 Written them as a TV show. Neither of them related 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:39.560 to me by blood. 0:22:39.640 --> 0:22:43.639 Our closest relative would probably be Adam and Eve, but 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:46.240 they are my family by choice, and in the last 0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:49.720 couple of years, I've watched them and how they interact 0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:53.800 with adults, their siblings, the friends of their siblings, and 0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:56.719 they not only restored my hope for the future. 0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:57.480 When Bailey and. 0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:00.800 Piper reached that age, they help restore or my faith 0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:04.320 that there have to be others just like the ones 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:06.920 the news outlets don't cover or talk about, the ones 0:23:06.960 --> 0:23:10.119 you never hear from, because that's not news these days, 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:14.560 and the prime reason I don't watch it. I saw 0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:17.040 all the news I needed this weekend, trying to stay 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:18.840 in the shade in front of a fan while we 0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:22.600 laughed at pictures of our two seniors, baby pictures, and 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:26.399 some from six years ago, the age Bailey is now, 0:23:27.480 --> 0:23:29.840 and six years from now, the majority of the people 0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:33.320 I spent Saturday and Sunday with will gather again to 0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:37.359 celebrate her and her friends. It is a day I 0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:41.600