1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,640
Speaker 1: All from zimblanity.

2
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 2: Hey, what's up?

3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:04,560
Speaker 1: Hello?

4
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:05,680
Speaker 2: Hi?

5
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:08,920
Speaker 1: Hey, what's going on?

6
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:18,079
Speaker 2: Who is this? This is zimblanity, zimblanity. Have we spoken before, zimblanity?

7
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,400
Speaker 1: No, this is my first time.

8
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,240
Speaker 2: What's up, zimblanity? What's going on with you? I?

9
00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 1: I don't really know. I do wonder to myself why

10
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,479
Speaker 1: I have such an aversion to therapy that it's easier

11
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:39,520
Speaker 1: to call into a lizard?

12
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,879
Speaker 2: Okay, And in that wondering as to why you have

13
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,440
Speaker 2: such an aversion to therapy that you call a lizard?

14
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:52,640
Speaker 2: What sorts of observations have you made or conclusions have

15
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,720
Speaker 2: you inched towards.

16
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: I think it's just anxiety, you know, But I don't

17
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,520
Speaker 1: know how to fix it, and I'm hoping that maybe

18
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:05,800
Speaker 1: you could do that for me.

19
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,759
Speaker 2: I cannot. I can't promise I can do anything for you,

20
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,959
Speaker 2: but I will try. I will talk with you about it.

21
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,640
Speaker 2: What are you anxious about?

22
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,280
Speaker 1: I mean everything, I'm like shaking on this phone call

23
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,160
Speaker 1: right now? Okay, that it's me nervous. I don't know what.

24
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,280
Speaker 2: Hmmm, how old are you?

25
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 1: I'm thirty?

26
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 2: Okay?

27
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:38,880
Speaker 1: You this way?

28
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:44,360
Speaker 2: Well, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. How long Have

29
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,360
Speaker 2: you been this this way? As you say, Uh, it's

30
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 2: been years, man, were you Can you remember a time

31
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 2: in your life when you were not this way whatever

32
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 2: whatever this way means to you.

33
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:05,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I really, I really cannot. It's uh.

34
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,639
Speaker 1: I've always been an anxious head. Now I'm an anxious,

35
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,120
Speaker 1: non binaried individual.

36
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,280
Speaker 2: All right, you're an anxious kid. Now you feel like

37
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 2: you're an anxious adult.

38
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've tried medications, meditations, they didn't really help.

39
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 2: Okay, mm hmm. Well I'll ask you a few questions.

40
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 2: Is there do you think your anxiety is rooted in

41
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 2: the future or are you dwelling upon the past? Or

42
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,120
Speaker 2: is something about the present giving you anxiety?

43
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 3: Where? Where?

44
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:45,880
Speaker 4: Where?

45
00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,200
Speaker 2: Where is the anxiety? Or is the answer just all three?

46
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,720
Speaker 1: I mean it really would be all three. I mean

47
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,760
Speaker 1: I guess not the past, because I really just kind

48
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,639
Speaker 1: of I let I just let things go. Ah, But

49
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:06,239
Speaker 1: I'm constantly worried about a recently, if I'm going to

50
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:12,799
Speaker 1: finish my apprenticeship. I'm worried about my friends, what they

51
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,799
Speaker 1: think about me, if I'm doing right by them, if

52
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:21,600
Speaker 1: I'm a good dad, just all the things you have

53
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,760
Speaker 1: a kid, Yeah, I.

54
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,680
Speaker 2: Do hold your kid.

55
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:31,480
Speaker 1: She is eight eight eight, ts.

56
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:36,160
Speaker 2: Hey, wonderful. Do you have a significant other of some kinds?

57
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:43,920
Speaker 1: I do. I have my partner Drew. He's he's amazing,

58
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:45,400
Speaker 1: It's good.

59
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 2: Okay okay, And is Drew like, did you guys do

60
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,320
Speaker 2: like an artificial insemination thing?

61
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:05,560
Speaker 1: So basically before I just that I was queer. I

62
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 1: had been in a really abusive relationship for years. I

63
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:17,520
Speaker 1: did feel at some point that my only way out

64
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:23,279
Speaker 1: of this relationship was through my daughter, my now daughter.

65
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,279
Speaker 1: That's a whole bag worms.

66
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:36,600
Speaker 2: Your now daughter is. So was like you were in

67
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody and that woman is that the

68
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,400
Speaker 2: mother of your daughter?

69
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:43,760
Speaker 1: Yes?

70
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,920
Speaker 2: Okay? Is she in your life in any way, shape

71
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:47,600
Speaker 2: or form, or.

72
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 1: We have like a shared parenting thing going through a

73
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,799
Speaker 1: custody whatever. Right now I'm trying to get full custody.

74
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 1: It's not looking good. Ohio's a mother their state as

75
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:01,880
Speaker 1: they say.

76
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:11,160
Speaker 2: Really yeah, m okay. So how often do you get

77
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,000
Speaker 2: to see your daughter?

78
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 1: It really just depends my ex is she thinks that

79
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:26,080
Speaker 1: like a long winded text messages with grammatically correct spelling

80
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,240
Speaker 1: is a legal document. So sometimes I get to see

81
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,440
Speaker 1: her every weekend and then sometimes I'm just sitting around

82
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,680
Speaker 1: hanging out and then I get a big text message

83
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,400
Speaker 1: at like two am that says, I, so and so

84
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:45,919
Speaker 1: no longer agree to our inherent parenting agreement and you

85
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,600
Speaker 1: won't be getting her these days. And that's not how

86
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,240
Speaker 1: that works. But going to court costs like a lot

87
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:53,680
Speaker 1: of money.

88
00:05:54,160 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what do you do.

89
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:10,400
Speaker 1: Right now? I am on disability because of the anxiety,

90
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 1: and I am trying to do a piercing apprenticeship at

91
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:20,839
Speaker 1: a tattoo shop. Uh, And I hope that that works out.

92
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm hoping I can claw my way off of disability

93
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:31,080
Speaker 1: with the apprenticeship. But you know, we'll see m hm.

94
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:32,960
Speaker 2: And what does Drew do.

95
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,560
Speaker 1: Drew is a tattoo artist, he's an illustrator, he watches dogs.

96
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 1: He he's really just kind of caught up in the

97
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,719
Speaker 1: gig economy right now.

98
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,200
Speaker 2: So all right, So, because you're on disability, I assume

99
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,760
Speaker 2: you at one point did have to go to a

100
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,279
Speaker 2: doctor or a psychiatrist or a therapist of some kinds

101
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 2: and get like medically diagnosed with something. Is that is

102
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 2: that true? What were you? What were youically diagnosed with?

103
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 5: Uh?

104
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 1: Just I was diagnosed with the severe anxiety, the severe depression. Uh,

105
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,040
Speaker 1: this is I mean, like I said, this is things

106
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,200
Speaker 1: have been happening like since I was a child, and

107
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,120
Speaker 1: it's like it is debilitating, like but I'm trying my best.

108
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:27,960
Speaker 2: Okay. Mmmm and have you and you said you, uh would,

109
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:34,000
Speaker 2: so tell me again why you feel more comfortable talking

110
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,640
Speaker 2: to me about all all these things instead of talking

111
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,800
Speaker 2: to an actual therapist.

112
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. Something I don't know.

113
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:50,320
Speaker 1: Maybe something about the suit kind of takes the power away,

114
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,600
Speaker 1: the seriousness of it.

115
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,680
Speaker 2: But does it I mean, does it make it? I mean,

116
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:57,600
Speaker 2: this is a you know, uh uh. Other people are

117
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,440
Speaker 2: listening right now. Does that make you more anxious or

118
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,400
Speaker 2: less anxious? Do you not care about that?

119
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,640
Speaker 1: I mean, to me, those are just numbers on the screen.

120
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 1: I know my friend is listening right now, Okay, and

121
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,680
Speaker 1: that makes me anxious because I know that they can

122
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,000
Speaker 1: hear me.

123
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 2: Okay, but you wanted to talk regardless, so you but

124
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,360
Speaker 2: you still feel comfortable enough with them hearing you that

125
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,080
Speaker 2: you're doing it.

126
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've heard about these things before. I wouldn't have

127
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,960
Speaker 1: talked about these if it was a thing that I

128
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:35,040
Speaker 1: wasn't comfortable with them hearing specifically, but say like if

129
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:40,080
Speaker 1: somebody else you know, you know it figures out or

130
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,160
Speaker 1: you know, someone else in my life, that would probably

131
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,200
Speaker 1: cause anxiety. I don't want to feel like I'm like

132
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,400
Speaker 1: trauma dumping to my friends.

133
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:55,600
Speaker 2: Sure, okay, can you not afford to zero a real therapist?

134
00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:01,680
Speaker 1: So since I'm on disability, I'm on the medicaid so sweet,

135
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:07,560
Speaker 1: I just started. Uh, I just got a new therapist

136
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,720
Speaker 1: last week. But it is uh, I don't know, like

137
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,320
Speaker 1: I've already opened up more to you than I had him,

138
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:19,040
Speaker 1: and uh, it's I don't know, it's I you know,

139
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,080
Speaker 1: there's like a fight flight freeze and fawn and I

140
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,360
Speaker 1: just like a freeze.

141
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:37,599
Speaker 2: Okay mm hm hmmmm. Well I uh, the doc and

142
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 2: the doctors gave you medication and you tried that. They've

143
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,880
Speaker 2: probably told you to fucking do some kind of meditation

144
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,240
Speaker 2: thing and you tried that and nothing worked.

145
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 1: Yeah that's uh, I'm doing medication right now. Uh, I

146
00:09:55,400 --> 00:10:00,400
Speaker 1: don't feel it's working. I've honestly had more success. Uh.

147
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:01,960
Speaker 1: Which micro dosing?

148
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,600
Speaker 5: Uh mushrooms Oh cool, cool cool?

149
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 2: Cool? Not that how did those make how did those

150
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 2: make you feel?

151
00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:20,720
Speaker 1: Honestly? My first time micro dosing the LSD. It blew

152
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:25,559
Speaker 1: my mind. I felt like I went from like some autistic,

153
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 1: anxiety riddled person to.

154
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 2: Just be an enormy Yeah. Yeah, you went from you

155
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 2: went from four Chan to Pinterest.

156
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,640
Speaker 1: I really did. Yeah, I had this was my white

157
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:45,320
Speaker 1: girl summer.

158
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 2: Nice? Nice, Okay, And then like, here's the thing with drugs.

159
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,160
Speaker 2: I thought about this. I thought about this last time

160
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,360
Speaker 2: my Tripp's rooms. Drugs are like that scene in the Breath.

161
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,920
Speaker 2: Drugs are like that scene in the Breakfast Club. Have

162
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,320
Speaker 2: you ever seen the movie with the Breakfast Club?

163
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:05,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

164
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,959
Speaker 2: All right, you know, so when you when you take

165
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,320
Speaker 2: mushrooms or LSD, you have that like, oh, I know,

166
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,560
Speaker 2: I have this epiphany and that epiphany and I feel

167
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,200
Speaker 2: this and I feel that and everything feels like it

168
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:19,800
Speaker 2: makes sense.

169
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,080
Speaker 3: Right.

170
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that scene in the Breath. But it's

171
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,079
Speaker 2: like that scene in the Breakfast Club where the nerd

172
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,560
Speaker 2: you know, is talking to all the other people and

173
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:34,160
Speaker 2: he's like, so Monday morning, are we still going to

174
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,079
Speaker 2: be friends? Did any of this matter?

175
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:37,240
Speaker 1: You know?

176
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 2: So sober you right now talking to me, have you

177
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,640
Speaker 2: retained any of those epiphanies? Did any of them matter

178
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,880
Speaker 2: or affect life? After the trip.

179
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,040
Speaker 1: I mean in ways, yeah, because I feel like it

180
00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:01,000
Speaker 1: lowered my defenses or gave me the courage or whatever

181
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 1: to take steps towards bettering myself and bettering like my life.

182
00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,840
Speaker 1: I was micro dosing when I was able to, like

183
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 1: ask my friend for a pearing apprenticeship, and I'm like,

184
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm really putting my eggs in this basket because I'm

185
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 1: hoping to start making money and be able to save

186
00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:28,440
Speaker 1: and stuff. I wouldn't have been able to put foot forward

187
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for like the strength the wall or

188
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 1: whatever the micro dosing gave to me.

189
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,079
Speaker 2: Okay, that's great, that's good. So you're on a how

190
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,920
Speaker 2: long ago was that that you were trying out this

191
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,559
Speaker 2: and doing all these things.

192
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,520
Speaker 1: I mean I've been microsing for like a year now.

193
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 5: I think, all right.

194
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,679
Speaker 2: It is your life better today than it was a

195
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:05,400
Speaker 2: year ago, for sure. Fantastic. Okay, you're on an upwards trajectory.

196
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,760
Speaker 2: You're a you're a positive stuff, I hope. So yeah, no,

197
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:16,400
Speaker 2: I think I think I think you are. Mm hmmmmmmmmmmm.

198
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:23,240
Speaker 2: All right. So you're you're in a piercing apprentice, yes, okay,

199
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:29,080
Speaker 2: and you what's you in your in your anxiety riddled brain.

200
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,199
Speaker 2: What is the anxiety over the over the piercing apprentice?

201
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,839
Speaker 1: Uh, it's honestly, it's just I don't know, it's it's

202
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:46,760
Speaker 1: a bunch of Uh, it's just drama. It's like everybody's

203
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,440
Speaker 1: mad at this person. That person's mad at this person.

204
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna get swept under the rug

205
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,120
Speaker 1: speak of these things.

206
00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, I I you said I when you you

207
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,120
Speaker 3: said it's funny, you said I shouldn't be this.

208
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:12,400
Speaker 2: Way at thirty. I don't think thirty is too old.

209
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:16,679
Speaker 2: Thirty is not too old to have anxiety by any means,

210
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 2: but it's it's too old to engage it, to engage

211
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 2: in drama in any way, shape or form. Maybe I

212
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,560
Speaker 2: wouldn't say, I don't want to put an age thing

213
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,480
Speaker 2: to it at all, but but you shouldn't be Why

214
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,320
Speaker 2: why in what way are you engaging in this drama?

215
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:44,160
Speaker 1: So I'm not engaging in it. So basically, my mentor

216
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,240
Speaker 1: you know, shows up late, stuff like that, her car

217
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 1: breaks down, people get upset with her. I feel like

218
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,280
Speaker 1: maybe there's some residual upsetness aimed at her that's being

219
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 1: placed on me because I'm an apprentice. I feel like

220
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 1: maybe there' not taking me seriously or they feel that

221
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,720
Speaker 1: I'm not serious about it.

222
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:06,440
Speaker 2: Uh.

223
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,080
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to engage in drama. I just uh,

224
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 1: I know, drama happens, and like sometimes it boils down

225
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:21,720
Speaker 1: to like playing sides of the fence, and I just,

226
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 1: you know, I just want everybody to get along and

227
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 1: have a nice time.

228
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,640
Speaker 2: What's the version of this that involves you spending one

229
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 2: hundred percent of your time dedicated to just learning how

230
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:38,000
Speaker 2: to get better at your piercing and tattooing. I'm not

231
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 2: thinking about anything outside of that.

232
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know, I don't know what the

233
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 1: uh I'm trying. I'm trying my best.

234
00:15:50,640 --> 00:16:01,120
Speaker 2: To okay, do that as it is. Okay, good, good, Okay.

235
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 2: You're trying your best to focus on how you can

236
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,000
Speaker 2: just do the job instead of instead of worrying about,

237
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 2: you know, what the hell's going on between your mentor

238
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 2: and the the other person and then what else do

239
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 2: you have this crazy ex wife scenario. I'm sorry about that.

240
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,880
Speaker 2: That's really really, really tough.

241
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you have a white trash.

242
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 2: Yeah that's all right, that's all right. You're worried about

243
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 2: you're worrying about it whether or not you were a

244
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,720
Speaker 2: good father? Yeah, why are you worried about that?

245
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,520
Speaker 1: I feel like because of like the optimum, because of

246
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 1: the anxiety, the depression. I feel like there are people

247
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 1: in my life, like and that are also in her

248
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 1: life that like infantilize me when it comes to like

249
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 1: being a father, and they I just I feel like

250
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm constantly just like questioned on whether or not I'm

251
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 1: able to do this.

252
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,280
Speaker 2: Okay, so this is what does that have to I

253
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,240
Speaker 2: hope this question makes sense? But what does that have

254
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 2: to do with you?

255
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 1: So like.

256
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll try what I What I mean by what

257
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 2: I mean by that is is you're wondering whether or

258
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,120
Speaker 2: not you're a I asked you why you think you're

259
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 2: not a good father, and you were talking about you

260
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,760
Speaker 2: responded by talking about other people's opinions of you and

261
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,159
Speaker 2: the way that other people are treating you, which you know,

262
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 2: but but I want to, like, I want to hear

263
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,800
Speaker 2: about what you think about yourself, not like what other

264
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,199
Speaker 2: people think about you as a father. But what do

265
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 2: you is it are those opinions getting to you through

266
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 2: to you and now you're kind of infantilizing yourself.

267
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,880
Speaker 1: I mean maybe. I mean, like, you know, you hear

268
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,639
Speaker 1: things about yourself so much that like eventually you start

269
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:15,360
Speaker 1: to believe it.

270
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 2: Okay, So like.

271
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: I I think, I think I'm just doing my best

272
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 1: and that's all you can do. But like I'm great

273
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 1: worried if that enough?

274
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 2: Great? So so if you think you're so, I take

275
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 2: take the external. If you think you're doing the best

276
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:47,200
Speaker 2: that you can do to be a father, then why

277
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 2: why are you anxious about whether or not you're a

278
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 2: good father just because other people are treating you like

279
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,239
Speaker 2: a baby because you have autism?

280
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I you know, it's also like we

281
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 1: the only course right now. So I recently had to

282
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 1: get a guardian ad litem for the custody battle thing.

283
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 1: And it's basically a lawyer who comes and visits both

284
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 1: houses and determines which parents is better for like the

285
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 1: child's well being.

286
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

287
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: You know, like my house, it's just me in a

288
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment, It's just me and my daughter. And

289
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: at her mother's house, there's like fifteen people in this house,

290
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:41,399
Speaker 1: one of the guys a known predator. She's got my

291
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 1: daughter and like four other kids living in an unfinished basement,

292
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,719
Speaker 1: and like the guardian came to both our houses and

293
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 1: then like decided that like my place wouldn't be h

294
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 1: h suitable to raise the child here because my house

295
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 1: was disorganized.

296
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that.

297
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot.

298
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I'm sorry to hear that.

299
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

300
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I I I obviously you know we're not

301
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 2: gonna be able to like fix every thing or anything.

302
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 2: I don't know if this conversation has been remotely helpful

303
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 2: for you, but at least in terms of like just

304
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: just to start off just as like a foundation of something,

305
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,479
Speaker 2: at least in terms of like what you can and

306
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 2: cannot control in this situation. I hope that you take

307
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 2: control of like your own perspective on yourself and wrestle

308
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: it away from this idea that you're a bad father

309
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: because you're trying your best, and you know you're trying

310
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 2: your best. You said it yourself, so yeah, don't. I

311
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 2: just I hope you're not torturing yourself in that way

312
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 2: and that you maintain and you know that you are

313
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 2: a good father because you're trying your best, and even

314
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 2: these things that are you know that you didn't choose

315
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 2: that are you know, like depression and anxiety. You know,

316
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 2: you're You're not a bad father because you have depression anxiety.

317
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 2: You're a good father because you're fighting against those things

318
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 2: with active effort, because you care and that's the most

319
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 2: important things that you care and you're trying. So I

320
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 2: hope you understand that and then you're not you know,

321
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 2: suffering more in your own brain internally on top of

322
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 2: the external suffering. Does any of that make sense or

323
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 2: resonate with you in any way, shape.

324
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: Or for him? Yeah, it makes sense.

325
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 2: Okay. Do you have any thoughts about any of that?

326
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I mean I'm trying that. That lists

327
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: why I like the court and stuff is you know,

328
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: we're I'm going through with that and uh, you know,

329
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: I've done all that I could do, and I'm doing

330
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: all that I could do. I just hope that, like

331
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: when my daughter gets older, she sees that mmm.

332
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 2: Mmm do you I don't know, man, I don't know.

333
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 2: Is there any other aspect of of this that you

334
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,719
Speaker 2: wanted to talk about specifically?

335
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 5: No? I think I'm good.

336
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: Was was this was this helpful in any way, shape

337
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 2: or form for your life?

338
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 1: I I hope So, I mean, uh, this was like,

339
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: you know it. Uh, I had a lot of anxiety

340
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,959
Speaker 1: about making this call and the fact that I did, like,

341
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: I'm you know, and I didn't just like hang up.

342
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 5: You know, that's okay.

343
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: I'm impressed with myself over there.

344
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 2: Give you give yourself some fucking credit. That's the that's

345
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: that's that's the thing. Give yourself some credit. I just dude,

346
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,479
Speaker 2: if you take one thing away from this call, I

347
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 2: just hope you give yourself some credit because you're fighting again.

348
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: You have all these like things that you're fighting against internally,

349
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: but you're fighting against them, right, you have. You have

350
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:35,479
Speaker 2: debilitating anxiety, but yet you picked up the phone and

351
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 2: you called or you know, you you you didn't just

352
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 2: sit around and succumb to your issues. You know, even

353
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: if even if there are some or most days that

354
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 2: you do, you know you you tried. And I hope

355
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 2: you look at evidence that exists that you tried your best,

356
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: and I hope you'd internalize it because you know, the

357
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 2: stories that we fucking tell ourselves and they're important. What's

358
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: your name again, zimblanity? Zimblanity? Did you pick that name

359
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 2: for yourself?

360
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: I did pick that name?

361
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 2: What does that mean? What is that from.

362
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: Uh So, zimblanity is the opposite of serendipity.

363
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: I do you know what. I totally thought that was

364
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 2: just a word that you made up. No, zimblanity. It's

365
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 2: the opposite of security, of serendipity. It's the opposite of serendipity. Yeah, okay,

366
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 2: So what define serendipity for me?

367
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: Uh So, serendipity is like, you know, like a wonderful thing.

368
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: Uh It's like a stroke of genius, like a muse,

369
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 1: you know, like, and zimblanity is like something that's unwanted

370
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: but inevitable, like a grandma dying.

371
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: Why did you name yourself that?

372
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 1: I just thought it sounded pretty. I don't know.

373
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 2: Sorry, I don't mean to make fun of your the

374
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 2: name that you chose for yourself, but I just it

375
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: sounds negative.

376
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: No, I yeah, yeah, it sounds negative. But like I'm

377
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: you know, I like to. I just I thought it

378
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: sounded pretty. I'd like to I'd like for people to

379
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: hear that and then think of something positive. I think,

380
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 1: I think, uh, the people who are in my life

381
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: here zimblanity, and you know, think of me and the

382
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: good good stuff we good times we have together.

383
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: Okay, all right. So you're you're taking you're taking zimblanity back.

384
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 2: You're you're flipping it. Yeah, you're making You're you're making it.

385
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 2: You're making zimblanity into serenity. Yes, all right, I respect

386
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 2: that as I planning anything else you want to say

387
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go.

388
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been reading the chat as we've been having

389
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: this talk. This chat is wonderful. If it's okay, I'd

390
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: like to give a shout out to my friend.

391
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: If that's fine, yeah's who's your friend?

392
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: My friend is Cat Bogart. Could I plug their Instagram?

393
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 1: Or is that?

394
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 2: Do they want you to plug their Instagram because a

395
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 2: bunch of people might send them links to weird bitcoin

396
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: addresses and shit, I.

397
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: Mean they would probably appreciate it.

398
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 2: Oh, what do they do? What's the Instagram?

399
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: They're a tattoo artist, so it's their professional page. All right, sir,

400
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: h it's Cat Bogart. Their page is Cat Bogart, Inc.

401
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: They are an amazing person. They're my favorite artist. There's

402
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: all around a good being.

403
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 2: Do you know this person?

404
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: I do?

405
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 2: It's Kat with a K Okay, all right, well we'll

406
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 2: check them out. Well, the thing is I don't know

407
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: if it's your thing. It's like all right, well you know, yeah,

408
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: all right, we'll check that out. Well we can. People

409
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 2: will someone will go on Instagram and look at it

410
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 2: and go like that's pretty cool.

411
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody added it in the chat.

412
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 2: Well z have a good rest of your of your day.

413
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: Thank you, man. I do feel that this helped.

414
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: Okay, good, thanks man. I appreciate that. I'm glad. Huh,

415
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: take care z you too. All right, doing some trying,

416
00:28:49,160 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: doing some real therapy, therapy, gecko, trying our best. Yeah,

417
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 2: that was those is interesting. That was interesting. I'm dude,

418
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. Sometimes I really with that whole thing

419
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 2: of like I want to I I'm off and on

420
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 2: about the whole thing of like I want to call

421
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: you because I don't I can't call a real therapist.

422
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: Like.

423
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: There's definitely there's lots of days and times where that

424
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 2: makes me uncomfortable. But there's also like a lot of

425
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: days and times where I'm like, you know what, let

426
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: me give it a try. Fuck it, why not let

427
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 2: me give it a try. Let's dive in fuck it something.

428
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 2: I do. I feel that way. I feel that way

429
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: when I get really sad. When I get really like

430
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 2: if I'm walking into this thing and I'm and I'm

431
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 2: sad myself, I'm like, oh, you got like a real serious, sad,

432
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: dire thing. Yes, you know, let's talk about it, let's

433
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: get into yours. You know, I feel more so, And

434
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: then I feel I feel confident. I'm like, all right,

435
00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 2: maybe I can you know, do do something, you know,

436
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: try to. But then there's a lot of times where

437
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, man, I just I just I don't

438
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 2: know what the fuck I signed up for. But that

439
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: that that didn't feel like that, I didn't feel like that.

440
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: I liked, I liked talking to Ze. But you know,

441
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 2: next next time, we'll do more diarrhea stuff. Haven't had

442
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 2: haven't had diarrhea stuff in a while actually, And to

443
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 2: be I look, to be honest, if my if I

444
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 2: had to choose between a podcast of all diarrhea stuff

445
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: and all heavy stories, I'd go with the heavy stories

446
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 2: because I can only do so much diarrhea. So I

447
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 2: don't know. I'm just I'm just being a gecko and

448
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 2: doing a podcast. Ah sweet.

449
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: All from Nicolas.

450
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 5: Hello, Hey, what what's up?

451
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: What?

452
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 2: Wait?

453
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 5: Am I on the show?

454
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 2: You're on the show. What's up?

455
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 5: Man?

456
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 2: What's your name?

457
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 5: Oh man, I'm Nick. That's crazy. How are you doing, Nick.

458
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm doing I'm doing okay, I'm hanging in there. What's

459
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: going on with you?

460
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 5: Oh my god, this is crazy. I'm I'm chilling with

461
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 5: my my like my two friends on Discord and I

462
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 5: just started watching the stream and I was like, oh man,

463
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 5: we like, we shall call and uh we were like, no,

464
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 5: we're not gonna call this, so we like we didn't

465
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 5: really watch too much of the show. I mean, I'm

466
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 5: a big fan, but my my friend doesn't watch We're

467
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 5: gonna call it. But uh my, dude, I'm like super stone,

468
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 5: but I'm sorry.

469
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: No, that's okay. I was a little I was a

470
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 2: little stoned earlier. I was actually actually right before, I

471
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: never dude, all right, I'll just I gotta be honest

472
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 2: with you guys. I never do this, And I talk

473
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: about how I never do this. I can't talk about

474
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: how I never do it anymore because I started not

475
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: doing it all the time. But like I've had a

476
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: couple I've done a couple of these recording sessions, like

477
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 2: the past two of them. I was like, I was like,

478
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: fuck it, let me uh, and again it's been three years.

479
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: I never do this, but I was like, fuck it,

480
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: let me just get high and taught and uh and

481
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: just do the stream. And I did it high and

482
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 2: I had a great time. I was like, I was

483
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: up for like five hours fucking talking to people and

484
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: it was great, which, by the way, is the worst

485
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 2: thing that could possibly happen, because do you know what

486
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,239
Speaker 2: happens if you don't You know what happens if you

487
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 2: live stream yourself as a gecko talking to people sober

488
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: for three years and then you do it high once

489
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 2: and it goes, well, do you know what happens? Nick?

490
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 5: I think you might turn into a gecko.

491
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: You that's a that's that's a good one. I like that.

492
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: But what happens is you go, oh, that was so good.

493
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 2: That was so great. You know what I should do?

494
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 2: I should get high every time I go to record

495
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 2: by show and then and so this is this is

496
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 2: high recording session number two I got I have. We're

497
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 2: We're about two hours into this though, so I'm I'm

498
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 2: kind of on like this. The come down from weed

499
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: is pretty bad. That's what I'm on right now. I

500
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 2: actually thought, for a second, I'm looking at my little

501
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: vate pen right now, and I thought for a second

502
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 2: about hitting it before talking to you. So then you're

503
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, you're stone. And I could have

504
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: been like, oh, I'm stone too, what's up man?

505
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 5: But hey man, it's not too late to hit that

506
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 5: blinker ah.

507
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. You don't want to make it a habit,

508
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 2: right because then I'm gonna start. I just I've been

509
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 2: getting high too much. I've been crossing boundaries that I

510
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,959
Speaker 2: had said. I I had set certain boundaries of like, oh,

511
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: I won't do it this day and or I won't

512
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: I won't do it you know in the mornings, or

513
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 2: you know when I have this to do or that

514
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 2: to do. But I've started crossing these boundaries. It's hard

515
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 2: because what I want so badly, I want to be

516
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: fuck seth Rogen talks about how he like will get

517
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 2: high and go into these like multi million dollar movie

518
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 2: pitches and stuff like that. I've I've I think I've

519
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: told this story. I've probably told the story of the

520
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 2: podcast before. But I had a friend. I was hanging

521
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 2: off with my friend's brother. I was like, we were

522
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 2: visiting him in New York and he's like he was

523
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: like trying to be an actor. And he was in

524
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: New York, like auditioning, and he was telling us about

525
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: this audition he was going to, and he's like, yeah,

526
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 2: this is a huge part. You know, if I booked

527
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 2: this commercial, it's gonna be gonna be a ton of money,

528
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 2: and it's like really important and this is this is

529
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: like a dream gig, and I really really hope I

530
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: get it. And then right before he leaves to this

531
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: audition that he's talking about how important it is, he

532
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 2: just takes the biggest bong rip I've ever seen and

533
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: he walks out the door to this fucking audition, and

534
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, I wish I could do that so badly.

535
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: I wish I wish I could like just smoke weed

536
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,240
Speaker 2: like it was nothing, and it just made my life

537
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 2: easy and fun all the time. And and it's like

538
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: a roll of the dice man, because like like last you know,

539
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: the other night, when I did when I did this

540
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 2: stream High, it was great. It was it was a

541
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 2: great five hours and it did do that. It did

542
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,280
Speaker 2: what I always wanted to do, just make things feel

543
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 2: a little more easy and fun. But it doesn't always

544
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: do that. It doesn't always do that. You can't always

545
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 2: count on it doing that every single time, because if

546
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 2: you do, then you'll run into so many times where

547
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 2: I'll think it's going to do that, and then about

548
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 2: a minute once it starts really kicking, and I'm like,

549
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: why the fuck did I just get high before we

550
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: go to the grocery store. That was a stupid idea,

551
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 2: And now I'm walking around the grocery store forgetting why

552
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 2: I came in and thinking about my life, and it

553
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: was just stupid. So I do it because I want

554
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 2: to be like my friend's brother. I want to have

555
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 2: we just be like a thing that makes my life better.

556
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: But it's too too much of a gamble. Has being

557
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: stoned helped you enjoy my rambling at all? Or has

558
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:49,479
Speaker 2: it made it worse?

559
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:50,320
Speaker 1: Oh?

560
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 5: It's made it so much better. I feel like I

561
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 5: can understand with you you're rambling because I'm on like

562
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 5: a similar wavelength right now.

563
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel nervous about you? Do you

564
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: feel anxious or paranoid that you sound stupid?

565
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 5: No, dude, I'm stupid.

566
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: All right?

567
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 2: Are you still on discord with your friends?

568
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 4: Yeah?

569
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 5: I'm on discord with my friends right now. I just

570
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 5: stepped away from the computer so I can hear.

571
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, I I was hoping you weren't still trying.

572
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 2: I guess having a conversation with them and me that

573
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 2: would that would be stupid. Well, all right, Nicholas, Nick, Yeah,

574
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: it's Nick, dude. It's okay. If there's not we can

575
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 2: just keep we can just sit in silence. I don't care.

576
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 5: Hey do you play this? Do you play any video games?

577
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? I play video games. I don't. I don't play

578
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: like like Valorant or any of like the online ship.

579
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 5: Have you heard of Dark and Darker?

580
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 2: Nope?

581
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 5: Oh my god, you have to play Dark and Darker?

582
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: Is it on the Nintendo Switch?

583
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 5: Unfortunately not.

584
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 2: I am never ever ever going to play.

585
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 5: Oh man, it's the worst game I ever made, but

586
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 5: it's amazing.

587
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 2: All right, Well you're really selling it? Was that what

588
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 2: you want?

589
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: I was?

590
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: I was gonna say it before I uh whatever? Was

591
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 2: there anything in particular you called in you want to

592
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 2: talk about?

593
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 5: It's no, not exactly, but I could you know, I

594
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 5: can talk to you about how much I like, love

595
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 5: and hate this one game, Dark and Darker. It's very new,

596
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 5: like early access games.

597
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,280
Speaker 2: What other what other games do you play?

598
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 5: I play other games I hate, like Rust.

599
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 2: Why do you Why do you play so many games

600
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 2: that you hate?

601
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:48,879
Speaker 1: Oh?

602
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 5: Because it's a because there's there's like a I played

603
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 5: survival games and so it's just it's you and me.

604
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 5: It's me and my my bes friend, and we play

605
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 5: these games together and it's us against the whole world,

606
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 5: the whole. In Rust, it's this one game we play

607
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 5: quite often. It's you have to Like you start off

608
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 5: and you're on like in this island, and you have

609
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 5: a rock and you're naked, your dick is out and

610
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 5: your your balls are out and uh, and everyone else

611
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 5: around you is like the same way. And you have

612
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 5: to build a like a base, and then you get

613
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 5: like guns and you like shoot people and you take

614
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 5: their bases and you blow into their bases and take

615
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 5: all their ship and the entire time they're off, they're

616
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 5: like they're trying to blow into your base and they're

617
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 5: screaming at you that you know they're gonna get on

618
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 5: the on the game when you're offline and take your stuff,

619
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 5: so you can't sleep, you know.

620
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 2: That's but so much that sounds like so much fun

621
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: playing that game with your friends. That sounds like so

622
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 2: much fucking fun. Damn, I wish I haven't played like

623
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 2: I haven't really played games online with my friends. I

624
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,720
Speaker 2: really haven't done that since middle school or like early

625
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 2: high school. I haven't done that in a decade, over

626
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 2: a decade. It's fun, man, it's fun. I mean, I'll

627
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: play like, I play like, I'll play land Ship, you know,

628
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 2: play some Mario Kart play. I played a ton of

629
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 2: Super Smash Bros. Melee in high school, in college, in

630
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 2: a little bit after college. But uh, I haven't played

631
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 2: online in a while. That sounds so much fun. How

632
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 2: old are you? Are you in college right now?

633
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 5: Uh?

634
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 6: No, right now?

635
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 5: I'm not in college and I'm twenty two.

636
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you What do you do with your life?

637
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: Uh?

638
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 5: I I make music and I work at pizza place.

639
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 2: You make music and you work at a pizza place.

640
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

641
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 2: Is the pizza any good?

642
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 5: No, it's pizza over.

643
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 2: What's it called? What's the pizza place?

644
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 5: Oh?

645
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 3: No?

646
00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 2: Is it? Is it a chain? Is it a chain?

647
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: It a chain?

648
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 5: No, it's not a big change.

649
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: Well you don't chain, all right, you don't have to.

650
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 2: You don't have to put them blast.

651
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 5: But it's it has to do with new York. But

652
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 5: it's it's not it's not very good. But I mean

653
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 5: it's good when I get it for free. But besides that, yeah,

654
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 5: it's pretty bad.

655
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 2: It's hard to fuck up pizza.

656
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 5: I disagree up pizza. I've sucked up a lot of pizzas.

657
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: Yet.

658
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 2: Do you do you deliver pizzas or do you make

659
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: the pizzas?

660
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 5: I cut the pizza?

661
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 2: All right, so you are in you you you have

662
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: you fucked up a lot of pizzas cutting them stupidly.

663
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, like, and it's not even this, like sometimes

664
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,800
Speaker 5: I just forget to cut them.

665
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 2: You pizza cut them?

666
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you know, let me ask you a.

667
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 2: Question before you answer the Because do you get high

668
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 2: at work?

669
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 5: I get high before work, and then I get high

670
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 5: after work.

671
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 2: That's the That's that's the most hilarious way of No,

672
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 2: I don't get high at work. I get high before work.

673
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 6: It's different, Yeah, because then I get to experience the

674
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 6: like that calm down, and then gradually I feel like

675
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 6: I get better and better at my job.

676
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't I I I'm going to challenge you.

677
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 2: I don't think weed is making you better at your job.

678
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 2: It might make your job better for you. Oh, okay,

679
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: you're getting better, You're getting more sober as the night progresses.

680
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, so then I get better and better. So at

681
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 5: the end of the night, I close and I'm just

682
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 5: like hyper aware.

683
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 2: M Okay, you're twenty two. You like to get high.

684
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 2: You work at a pizza place. Uh, there's a there's

685
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: a really funny Onion article that says something like everyone

686
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 2: involved in the manufacturing, delivery, and consumption of pizza extremely high.

687
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 2: Uh it was funny anyway, all right, so whatever, see

688
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: you working a pizza place, you get high, you play

689
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: video games with your friends, that kind of That sounds awesome. Honestly,

690
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 2: it sounds pretty cool. Do you have higher aspirations or

691
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: are you set?

692
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 5: I really really want to play music for people.

693
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 2: Okay, what kind of music do you make?

694
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 5: H I like I like me. I really like jazz.

695
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 5: I really love jazz, and I really love indie music.

696
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 5: And I just want to make music that is very

697
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 5: personal to myself. And I mean, I just love music

698
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 5: very much. It's it's always been an escape for me.

699
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 5: So I don't know, I just want to make music

700
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 5: that is solely me and it's what I just create,

701
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 5: what I only I can create because I think that

702
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 5: it's I'm you know, I know there's so many other artists,

703
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 5: but I'm still myself and only I can say I

704
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 5: only I can make music. I can make and just

705
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 5: want to make my jazz indie music.

706
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful way of thinking about it. Making only

707
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: what you can make. That's really how you should make stuff.

708
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, so beautiful love music.

709
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 2: That's cool. I like that you can make music from

710
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 2: the unique perspective of a guy who likes to get

711
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 2: high and play video games. No, I'm just talking with you.

712
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 2: What perspective do you make the music from?

713
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 5: I guess I think about music like my I look

714
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 5: at the perspective I take is I try to see

715
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 5: the full image of something, of a completed idea in

716
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 5: my head, and then I try to break it down

717
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 5: into its smaller individual parts and try to achieve achieve

718
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 5: the idea I had in my head.

719
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 2: Who do you like?

720
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 3: Oh?

721
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 2: I really like Parker, Charlie Parker. Okay, I really liked

722
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 2: Miles Davis. Miles all right, I like Miles I was.

723
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 2: I don't know who Charlie Parker is, but I listened

724
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 2: to a lot of Miles Davis.

725
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 7: Oh, he's me.

726
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 5: He was so awesome. I was listening to he just

727
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 5: had a new remastered album coming. I mean, like, well,

728
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 5: he's dead, but they remastered. I like one of his

729
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 5: sessions not too long ago, and I've been listening to

730
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 5: it and it's super amazing. It's called a thing move.

731
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 5: It's amazing.

732
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 2: Nice. Nice.

733
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: Oh no, it's some time around. It's amazing.

734
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 2: Do you post ship? Do you make TikTok and whatever?

735
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: Do you do?

736
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 2: You do you put things on the internet?

737
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 5: No? I don't. I think that's my problem.

738
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 2: Are you nervous?

739
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

740
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 5: I do get nervous about it, but I try. I'm

741
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 5: trying to break out of my shelf.

742
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 2: Are you nervous that the the twelve year old boys

743
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 2: that you're gunning down in this video game are gonna

744
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 2: find out that you make music and mass like one

745
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 2: starret on whatever streaming service you put it on.

746
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 5: Now, I am m hmmmmm.

747
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: See you're nervous. Wise it like I think I'm being perceived.

748
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 2: Not exactly, Okay, So what's the issue.

749
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 5: I think it's just I've been working on getting to

750
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 5: a level that is, I guess good enough in my head,

751
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 5: but I think that just keeps getting to a higher standard.

752
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 5: And then uh, and then I put I used to

753
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 5: put myself down a lot, but I've tried to how

754
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 5: do you say, like, calm that down, which I have,

755
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 5: And now I've I feel a lot more comfortable. And uh,

756
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 5: I've been a little bit more active in making music lately,

757
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 5: you know, I've been trying to. I've been creating more

758
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 5: songs and and uh really practicing more and playing and

759
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 5: getting on ableton and just and starting something a lot

760
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 5: more often then I haven't you like met with like

761
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 5: thinking about it, which isn't so hard on myself.

762
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: Are you enjoying the process?

763
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: Oh?

764
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 5: I love it?

765
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: Now? Ah okay, well let me do it. You'll be fine.

766
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: You'll be fine. You'll be You'll be better you you

767
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 2: making music in your room and showing it to no

768
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 2: one and enjoying doing that, You'll be happier than somebody

769
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 2: who's like, uh, just I don't know, trying to go

770
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 2: trying to get TikTok famous for the sake of getting

771
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 2: TikTok famous. You know what I'm saying. So you're fine,

772
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 2: You're gonna have a great life. I think, uh, I

773
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 2: think I think you got it going on. Do you

774
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 2: do you feel that way? Uh?

775
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do think so. I know. I have amazing

776
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 5: people in my life. But my best friends are are

777
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 5: listening to the show right now, and man, I love

778
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:27,240
Speaker 5: them so much. They're awesome.

779
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 2: That's cool. Man, You're gonna get back there and they're

780
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 2: all gonna call you gay for saying that.

781
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, they call me gay already. They're probably only gay

782
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 5: this second.

783
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 2: Yeah it's fair. Uh well, Nick.

784
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: So wild?

785
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you wanted to to say before

786
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 2: we get out of here?

787
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,320
Speaker 5: I hope you hit that blinker?

788
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 2: What is that meme? Why have I been seeing that

789
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 2: a rounds.

790
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 5: All because of blinkers? When you hit your vappen and

791
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 5: you hit it until the vappen blinks because it just

792
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 5: can't get it just can't power anymore.

793
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 2: Never been long. I don't want to do that. It

794
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 2: sounds it sounds like too much.

795
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 5: It is too much.

796
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 2: But okay, thanks for explaining what that means. I was

797
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 2: wonder what that meant. You hit? You do whatever with

798
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 2: your life? Hey, how do I get free pizza from you?

799
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 5: Uh? Dude, I don't even get free pizza, Like, I

800
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 5: barely get free pizza. So I mean you can you

801
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 5: can get them.

802
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 2: You don't have to. You don't have to actually get

803
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 2: me an answer to that question, Nick, thank you very

804
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 2: much for calling ghak Bless you and enjoy God, enjoy

805
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 2: your life. I'm jealous of you. You get to eat pizza

806
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 2: and get high, and well, I guess I can do

807
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 2: that too, all right. In fact, I'm gonna actually go

808
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 2: do that.

809
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 5: I hope you enjoy that. Thank you. Thank you for

810
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 5: having me on. I really really I love your show.

811
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 5: You You're my favorite streamer. I listened to like every

812
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 5: single one of your episodes. Oh yeah, you know, like

813
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 5: your your show is amazing.

814
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 2: Thanks.

815
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 5: What you do for people is just awesome. You know,

816
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 5: the things you have on really give me different perspectives.

817
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 5: And you know, after watching your show, I think about

818
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 5: some things you know, very like how do you say

819
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 5: very like niche topics very differently and openly. And I

820
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 5: really appreciate your show for that.

821
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 2: Thanks man, that makes me feel very happy to hear.

822
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 2: I'm always wondering if people are listening to this, so

823
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 2: I I I appreciate it, man, I really do. Good

824
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 2: luck good luck to you, good luck to in your life. Damn,

825
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 2: I'm fucking awkward. I wish I had a better I

826
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,000
Speaker 2: really do appreciate you saying what you said, and I'm thinking, like,

827
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 2: what's the best most gracious way to respond to you.

828
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 2: You know what you can say?

829
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 5: You can say ya?

830
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 2: What does that mean that?

831
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 5: I mean you already know?

832
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 2: Oh yeah to sabe Uhlana de Lapplia baby, Oh yeah yeah?

833
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 2: So balla adios?

834
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: Are you all from?

835
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 2: Hello? Hello? What's your name?

836
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 3: Hailey?

837
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:28,399
Speaker 2: What's up? Hailey? Has life?

838
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 7: It's all right.

839
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 2: Is there any particular aspect of it or of anything

840
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 2: that you wanted to talk about tonight?

841
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 7: I didn't nothing specifically. I just wanted to chat.

842
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 2: Okay, well you you said that your life was was

843
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 2: could be better? Yeah, I guess Okay, well what would

844
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:54,720
Speaker 2: make it better?

845
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 7: Just like a better job, an apartment, just ship like that?

846
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 2: Where do you? What do you do now? As a job?

847
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 4: I work at a zoo.

848
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 2: That sounds like a cool Actually know that that sounds

849
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 2: like a horrible job.

850
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 4: It's it's fun.

851
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 7: It's just it's just like we're under like a new

852
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:24,839
Speaker 7: employment people system, so it like sucks hard right now?

853
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 2: Have the pigs taken over the farm? Is your boss? Adirafte? Uh?

854
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

855
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 2: Unfortunately that's uh, I would want. I would. If my

856
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 2: boss was a draft, I would quit too. I would

857
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 2: be like, this is actually no, I wouldn't know would stay.

858
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 2: That'd be awesome for your boss.

859
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 7: Was a direst I think I think maybe a giraffe

860
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 7: could run the zoo better.

861
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 2: Probably ooh shots fired zoo director get fucked? Uh yeah, okay,

862
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 2: well all right, so you work at the zoo. You

863
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 2: get to touch koalas and.

864
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 8: Oh I'm making pretels, man, I just worked at like

865
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 8: the food and beverage service.

866
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 2: You make pretzels at you make pretzels at the zoo. Yes,

867
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 2: you're like that. Fuck, You're like, dude, you're like the

868
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 2: grandpa from Up. That's like Grandpa from Up.

869
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 1: Job that you have.

870
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 4: That is so funny.

871
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 2: You're like that guy. How old are you?

872
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:27,760
Speaker 7: I am that guy? I'm twenty.

873
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,839
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a little too young to be making pretzels

874
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 2: at the zoo.

875
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 7: Was too young to be making.

876
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 8: Pretzels at the zoo.

877
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 2: Because the guy who makes whoever, the person that makes

878
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,359
Speaker 2: the pretzels at the zoo is supposed to like. They

879
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 2: don't just make pretzels. They give you inspirational life lessons

880
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:50,720
Speaker 2: that can only be fully understood by people who've lived

881
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 2: at least seventy five years of life.

882
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 7: No, that's not true.

883
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 2: That that's how it works in the movies. All right,

884
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,280
Speaker 2: you make pretzels at the zoo? Why is it? Why

885
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 2: is it? Why does that make you unhappy? Why is

886
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 2: that bad?

887
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 7: Like working at the zoo? I mean it's not it's

888
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 7: not like the job itself, Like it's fun. I like

889
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 7: seeing the animals and stuff whenever I get to. But

890
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 7: it's just like the people who run it have like

891
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 7: ruined it hard.

892
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 2: How much of a dick do you have to be

893
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 2: to ruin the zoo? What are they doing to ruin it?

894
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 8: They just they just treat them like shit, Like they

895
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 8: took away like we would get like a free meal

896
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 8: a day, but they like took that away and then

897
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 8: make us pay like twenty dollars for like extra uniform.

898
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 2: Really even even the animal, even the animals get a

899
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: free meal a day.

900
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 8: I know they treat them better than us.

901
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 2: Have you said that? Have you?

902
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: Have you?

903
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,160
Speaker 2: Have you stormed in? Because that's the perfect thing, that's

904
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: the perfect thing to say to your boss at the zoo.

905
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 2: You treat the animals bend than they do us. That's

906
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 2: a perfect thing.

907
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I would say that to him, but

908
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 7: I don't get to like talk to the big man.

909
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 7: Just like there's like people who are in charge of us,

910
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 7: and then there's people in charge of them, and then

911
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 7: it's like a big thing.

912
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 2: Is the pretzels? Is making the pretzels the lowest rung

913
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: of the ladder?

914
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 4: No, I think.

915
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 7: I think security guard security guard, they get paid less than.

916
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 2: Really, really you get Can you get paid less as

917
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 2: a security guard than you do for making pretzels? Let

918
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 2: me tell you why that's fun?

919
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 3: You know what?

920
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 2: So I was at I went to a zoo recently

921
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 2: in Australia shout out to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary.

922
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 2: I went there and it was the first time I'd

923
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 2: ever gone to a zoo where they have a place

924
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 2: where it's like an open field sort of thing. There's

925
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 2: like a fence, but you can actually go in there

926
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 2: and touch and pet kangaroos and EMUs and all these

927
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 2: like big fucked up animals. And I was thinking about this.

928
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 2: Thousands of people and they're very chill, Like little kids

929
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 2: run up to them and like you know, rub all

930
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: up on them and shit, and like they don't care.

931
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 2: They're very docile. They might be drugged. I don't know,

932
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:25,360
Speaker 2: but I think about how much, like you know, thousands

933
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 2: of people are going into the zoo every day and

934
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 2: interacting with these animals, and they're wild animals. There's no

935
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: real control there. How much tom fuckery has to be

936
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 2: going on. There has to have been at least one

937
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: incident where a kangaroo kicked an old lady in the house.

938
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 2: And the security guard's job is to is to secure

939
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:49,880
Speaker 2: these animals. So how is how are they that sounds

940
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 2: It just seems like an important job. The mall, the

941
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:54,480
Speaker 2: zoo security.

942
00:55:54,000 --> 00:56:01,800
Speaker 4: Guard, well at mine just like to zoom and watched

943
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 4: the people more than the animals. But someone actually like

944
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,760
Speaker 4: fell into the quita exhibit like two weeks ago.

945
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 2: What was it? What was that? What was that?

946
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 5: Like?

947
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:16,319
Speaker 2: Did they get did they get sucked up?

948
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 7: I don't think. I think the cheetah just kind of

949
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 7: like sat there and like looked at him because she

950
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:27,800
Speaker 7: was like with her trainer or something. So it's fucking weird.

951
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 4: They like locked down.

952
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:30,800
Speaker 7: The whole zoo is crazy.

953
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 2: Somebody fell into the cheetah. You're you're dude, you're literally

954
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 2: living in a in a in a little you know,

955
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 2: a little Disney movie. You're making pretzels at the zoo

956
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 2: and then a guy comedically fell over into the cheetah exhibit.

957
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 2: You're living in a in a in a cartoon.

958
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 8: Yeah, it was like it what.

959
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:58,240
Speaker 2: I don't want to ask? What zoo or kat? What? Uh? Okay?

960
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 2: What else is bad with your life? These all sound

961
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 2: like good, funny things.

962
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 7: I don't know, just a lot of like I don't know,

963
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:13,359
Speaker 7: family drama and stuff that kind of thing.

964
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 2: What uh I mean you don't have to get into

965
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 2: that if you don't want to.

966
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 7: But what.

967
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 2: Do you do you want to?

968
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: No?

969
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 7: Maybe maybe not right now, but we can talk down.

970
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 2: That's cool. Honestly, I'm glad it is it bad that

971
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you said no? So that we can

972
00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 2: talk more about the zoo.

973
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 7: I would love to.

974
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 2: There's been a lot there's been a lot of conversations

975
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 2: on this podcast about deep issues between family members and

976
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 2: not not a lot about guys falling into cheetah enclosures.

977
00:57:56,280 --> 00:58:00,479
Speaker 2: So we might as let's balance it out. What's your dream?

978
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 2: What's your dream?

979
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 7: Well, it was when I was little, it was like

980
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 7: always to like be a zoo keeper and stuff, So

981
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 7: I guess it's still that. So I'm just like, I

982
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 7: don't know, kind of getting closer to that.

983
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 2: But I love that idea though, that you're gonna you're

984
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 2: gonna rise the rank. This is sick. This is sick.

985
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 2: You're gonna rise the ranks from doing the pretzels to

986
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 2: be to owning the zoo.

987
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's honestly like it's happened before, people go from

988
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 7: like the food service to like being a whole zoo.

989
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 5: Keeper and stuff.

990
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 7: So it's definitely possible.

991
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 2: That's sweet. I like, I like that idea. I'm trying

992
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 2: to think of what else I know about zoos. What's

993
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,480
Speaker 2: the coolest animal they got at this zoo?

994
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 1: God, I don't know.

995
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 7: They have a lot of animals. For me, it's the

996
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 7: red Pandas. They're really they're really cute. Are my favorite?

997
00:58:57,360 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I like I like red Pandas. That's like

998
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 2: the that's the guy from Red right turning red?

999
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1000
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, what kind of what kind of geckos are they?

1001
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:14,920
Speaker 2: Day geckos?

1002
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's actually one of those, and they have like

1003
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 7: crested geckos and ship all the geckos.

1004
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 2: Man, that's awesome. Do they do they ever? Do they

1005
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 2: look like they have any thoughts?

1006
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 7: Maybe some we don't. We don't know about We're never

1007
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 7: gonna find out. But they do.

1008
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:41,880
Speaker 2: Do they look sad? Ever?

1009
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 4: I think, you know, I think maybe they do just

1010
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 4: like like sitting in that cave all day and just having.

1011
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 7: Kids just like smear their faces and lick the glass.

1012
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,920
Speaker 7: Might it would make me sad to have to live

1013
00:59:58,960 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 7: in there?

1014
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well maybe that, you know what? You know what?

1015
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 2: All right, I'll give you a blessing m hm. That

1016
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:22,439
Speaker 2: will cosmically. It won't ensure anything, but it will cosmically

1017
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 2: point the universe. And I'm gonna manifest it. I'm gonna

1018
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 2: cosmically point the universe in the direction of you one

1019
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 2: day owning the zoo, working your way up from the

1020
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 2: pretzel making. But you gotta do me a favor before

1021
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 2: I do that.

1022
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, you got to.

1023
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 2: Promise me that when you own the zoo, you will

1024
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 2: free the geckos.

1025
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 7: I promise loo, when I own the Zoo, I will

1026
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 7: free to get goos.

1027
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 2: You have my word, Hayley. Is there anything else you

1028
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 2: want to that's probably not your Is that your name?

1029
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1030
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 2: Haley? Is there anything else you want to say to

1031
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go.

1032
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1033
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 7: Free the geckos man.

1034
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 2: Free the Geckos. That's going on the T shirt. See

1035
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 2: you Haley, yay, thank you fine.

1036
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 1: Never be Ken goes on the line taking your phone

1037
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:21,919
Speaker 1: calls every night. Never beIN Can goes doing to ride.

1038
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 3: He's teaching you a loud in the mid your life,

1039
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 3: but he's not really an expert.