1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,760
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

2
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,040
Speaker 1: two K Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,160
Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

4
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

5
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:12,639
Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,239
Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

7
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,520
Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

8
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,520
Speaker 2: My girlfriend thought I was fake sick until I.

9
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,680
Speaker 3: Ended up in the er. Well there's the proof.

10
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,759
Speaker 2: My girlfriend, twenty six female, and I twenty five male,

11
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,840
Speaker 2: have been together for about a year. Most everything is great,

12
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,080
Speaker 2: except for one thing. If I tell her I'm sick,

13
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,440
Speaker 2: not feeling well, or hurt, she refuses to believe me.

14
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,159
Speaker 2: If I have a cold, she tells me that I'm

15
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 2: faking it until it goes away, and then she says, see,

16
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,559
Speaker 2: you're fine. I'm rarely sick, so it's never been a

17
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,480
Speaker 2: major issue, but she has zero sympathy when I am sick.

18
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,960
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Electrical Nobody six and

19
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,000
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

20
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,760
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay Storytime separated its and I'm Angie.

21
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,360
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley.

22
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,040
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofully. So that means,

23
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 2: though we don't have all the answers and we're just

24
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,880
Speaker 2: gonna guess what we would do in this situation, but

25
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments.

26
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,800
Speaker 2: But OHP says she grew up with hypochondriac parents who

27
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 2: were always sick with something, often self diagnosing themselves with

28
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,160
Speaker 2: fatal maladies. She has limited contact with them, and the

29
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,720
Speaker 2: time I met them, I was told by them that

30
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,360
Speaker 2: they didn't have long left to live. I get it,

31
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,440
Speaker 2: growing up in that household must have been awful, but

32
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 2: what happened on Sunday just sent me over the edge.

33
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,160
Speaker 2: Girlfriend and my sister twenty nine female wanted to check

34
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,120
Speaker 2: out this event, and we were all supposed to go.

35
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:43,360
Speaker 2: I woke up with extruciating back pain and could barely breathe.

36
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,600
Speaker 2: Girlfriend got so mad at me for ruining this that

37
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,040
Speaker 2: she wouldn't speak to me. As she was about to leave.

38
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,040
Speaker 2: I asked her not to leave because I thought that

39
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:57,480
Speaker 2: something was wrong. She said no and left. I threw

40
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 2: up in my bed and eventually called my parents. I

41
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,400
Speaker 2: was too embarrassed to call nine one one, and my

42
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,080
Speaker 2: mother and brother hauled me to the hospital. I was

43
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,680
Speaker 2: whisked back and after about twenty minutes, I was diagnosed

44
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:16,480
Speaker 2: with kidney stones. Oh oh, look, who's not just faking it?

45
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 3: Well, I hope you get him before you got to

46
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,399
Speaker 3: get rid of him, you know what I mean.

47
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 2: He's gonna like pass them before she comes home. She's

48
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,960
Speaker 2: gonna be like, see, you're fine, venting on gravel and

49
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,560
Speaker 2: I had a c TEA scan and then went for

50
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 2: a procedure to bust the kidney stones. Anyone questioning whether

51
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,000
Speaker 2: or not to have the procedure, do it. The side

52
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 2: effects are nothing. Five hours later, I was lying on

53
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,360
Speaker 2: my parents' sofa in a haze. I have never and

54
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,720
Speaker 2: hope to never feel pain like that again in my life.

55
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,440
Speaker 2: I was sure that I was going to pass away.

56
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,280
Speaker 2: The attending in the r told me that it's worse

57
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,720
Speaker 2: than childbirth and that they've had it before too.

58
00:02:55,320 --> 00:03:00,440
Speaker 3: Dang, now you've got the pass forever, like with a

59
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 3: party that like, well I have to give and you're like,

60
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,960
Speaker 3: I had kidney stones, ex nothing.

61
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,960
Speaker 2: They're gonna end up having kids together, him and his girlfriend,

62
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,800
Speaker 2: and she's gonna be like, hey, I need to go

63
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,560
Speaker 2: to the hospital. I'm pregnant and I'm having crazy contractions

64
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,680
Speaker 2: and he's gonna be like, Uh, you just ruined and

65
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,840
Speaker 2: gave me with the boy.

66
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:24,920
Speaker 3: Would you just like not have those women? You're just

67
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:25,680
Speaker 3: ruining it.

68
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,200
Speaker 2: I didn't text my girlfriend throughout because I didn't I

69
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,560
Speaker 2: really didn't have the strength or foresight. I was drugged

70
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,520
Speaker 2: up and uncomfortable. My sister found out that I had

71
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,640
Speaker 2: been in the emergency room, and soon after my girlfriend

72
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 2: called me. She was pissed off that I didn't call her.

73
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,480
Speaker 2: Then I reminded her that I begged her not to

74
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,360
Speaker 2: leave as I thought something was wrong. She got quiet

75
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 2: and eked out an apology. I got furious and said

76
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,600
Speaker 2: some rather nasty things, among them being f off and

77
00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,920
Speaker 2: some other unsavory thing.

78
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,160
Speaker 3: You might have to just not be in relationship.

79
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 2: There's a good idea in fairness. I was on dope,

80
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,880
Speaker 2: still sore, peeing blood, and felt like someone had punched

81
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,680
Speaker 2: me in the gut. Standing was incredibly painful. I needed

82
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 2: to take two days off work in school. I rested

83
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:20,520
Speaker 2: in bed, and the only thing that you can think

84
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,599
Speaker 2: is the person who should have been there didn't even

85
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,359
Speaker 2: believe me. She's texted me this week a formal apology,

86
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,480
Speaker 2: and once one in return for saying nasty things to her.

87
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,240
Speaker 2: I've been avoiding her texts and calls, so I felt

88
00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 2: like crap this week and picked something up in the er.

89
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:39,400
Speaker 2: So I laid low, took a few days off work,

90
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,279
Speaker 2: and relaxed. She wants to meet tonight and talk about everything,

91
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,320
Speaker 2: but I'm still so mad. I don't know if I

92
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:49,000
Speaker 2: should hold off seeing her. Is this as big a

93
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,760
Speaker 2: transgression as I feel like it is? Am I blowing

94
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 2: this out of proportion because I felt so crappy? I

95
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,599
Speaker 2: am just so annoyed and angry. And there are some

96
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,719
Speaker 2: relevant comments. But what do you think, Dakota.

97
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,480
Speaker 4: I just think y'all.

98
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,000
Speaker 3: Should break up?

99
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

100
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like anyone whose reaction when you're in like

101
00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 3: excruciating pain is just like you're ruining this day, It's like, yeah,

102
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,640
Speaker 3: that's they don't really are They're not really making a

103
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,080
Speaker 3: good partner totally.

104
00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 2: There are some relevant comments, though. Velvet fifty four three

105
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,960
Speaker 2: twenty one says you were right to be angry and

106
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,640
Speaker 2: annoyed with her. She apologized accept it or don't? Only

107
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,240
Speaker 2: you can decide that it was possibly a lesson for

108
00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,360
Speaker 2: her to trust you more so it could change things

109
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,880
Speaker 2: in the future. But where is she now? Shouldn't she

110
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,520
Speaker 2: have come seen you immediately to take care of and

111
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,640
Speaker 2: comfort you, Opie says, I told her I didn't want

112
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,640
Speaker 2: to see her and to stay away. She's taken to

113
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 2: frequent texts and asking to talk on FaceTime. I was

114
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 2: pretty clear with how much I wanted her to stay away.

115
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,279
Speaker 2: Balu Peach says, Ultimately, you feel how you feel.

116
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,160
Speaker 4: No blame there.

117
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,560
Speaker 2: I have a question though, does her lack of empathy

118
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,520
Speaker 2: extend to everything or is it just illnesses? I like,

119
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,200
Speaker 2: if you loved one or something really bad happens besides illness.

120
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,280
Speaker 2: Does she care then? If so, her parents really did

121
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,479
Speaker 2: a number on her, and not caring about that would

122
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,440
Speaker 2: be unempathetic as well, she should find someone to talk to.

123
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,599
Speaker 2: Opie says, She's actually pretty loving outside of this, but

124
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 2: illness zero sympathy. I feel like there's limits to what

125
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:26,560
Speaker 2: that commentary was suggesting with the sympathy to her for

126
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,400
Speaker 2: her parents doing a number on her.

127
00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:29,039
Speaker 4: You know.

128
00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:30,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

129
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,560
Speaker 2: So, when asked if she knew how much pain he

130
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,520
Speaker 2: was in, Opie says, I don't know. If you've ever

131
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,120
Speaker 2: had kidney stones, I can't describe it. The pain is

132
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,280
Speaker 2: so intense. You can't move, but you have to move.

133
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,200
Speaker 2: It's so intense that I would have looked awful. The

134
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 2: older Irish nurse I encountered said that I looked ashen

135
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,840
Speaker 2: and had the agony shuffle. Oh my gosh, I just

136
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,039
Speaker 2: feel like I never complain and when I almost beg

137
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,640
Speaker 2: she gets annoyed and we do. You have an update

138
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 2: from three days later.

139
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,080
Speaker 4: Oh, dupper, dumper, dumper.

140
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 3: I feel like this is going to be a dumping

141
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,880
Speaker 3: and I feel like it's not. I feel like it

142
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 3: was like OP tried to just have a conversation. She

143
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,920
Speaker 3: probably got mad and then was like, Okay, yeah, we're done. Yep.

144
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 2: I was still pretty burned after I posted here, but

145
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,040
Speaker 2: knew that we had to speak, despite my protests and

146
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,560
Speaker 2: the time we had set. She was at my door

147
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,480
Speaker 2: when I got home and sort of popped out and

148
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,600
Speaker 2: scared the crap out of me. She had her arms

149
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,120
Speaker 2: full of things, chocolate's, a video game, a card, adult soda,

150
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,080
Speaker 2: and dinner. You guys are right. Her family thing meant

151
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,560
Speaker 2: that she just never thought people could truly be sick,

152
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,800
Speaker 2: or that it just have a fast onset like kidney stones.

153
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 2: She apologized and almost wouldn't let me get a word

154
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,840
Speaker 2: in edge rise. She read from her phone, and I

155
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,679
Speaker 2: had typed out a lot of notes in her phone,

156
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 2: including why it was a mistake for me to dump her. Wait,

157
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,640
Speaker 2: a mistake or like a bad idea.

158
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:59,840
Speaker 3: I well, okay, we're just playing defense. That's okay. I

159
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,720
Speaker 3: think that's really okay.

160
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 2: I told her how upset I was, and how and

161
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 2: just how bad things were at the hospital and why

162
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,680
Speaker 2: I was mad. She kept saying that she was sorry

163
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,600
Speaker 2: and promised to deal with her problems. She revealed that

164
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,960
Speaker 2: she texted her therapist about what happened and they had

165
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,200
Speaker 2: a meeting before she met up with me. He gave

166
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 2: her some strategies and offered advice and things to say.

167
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,240
Speaker 2: She came with the right answers and seems to think

168
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,640
Speaker 2: that it's a big deal. She didn't ask for an

169
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:30,240
Speaker 2: apology and dropped that subject altogether. She camped out of

170
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,880
Speaker 2: my apartment all weekend so that I wouldn't change my mind,

171
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,600
Speaker 2: and hung around with my friends when they came over.

172
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,520
Speaker 2: She was apologetic all weekend and took it upon herself

173
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,679
Speaker 2: to take care of me to make up for when

174
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,280
Speaker 2: she wasn't there. It was a bit strange, but I

175
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 2: didn't protest a lazy weekend as I still didn't feel

176
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,080
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, so her laying around was fine. By

177
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 2: the end of the weekend, I wasn't chapped anymore and

178
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,400
Speaker 2: was fine to move on with life. She kept asking

179
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,880
Speaker 2: if we were okay, and I must have reassured her

180
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,960
Speaker 2: a quarter of a million times there is a little

181
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,640
Speaker 2: bit more to the story. But what do we think

182
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,920
Speaker 2: about this? Do you think she's gonna be forgiven? Do

183
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,000
Speaker 2: you think she's deserving of forgiveness?

184
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:09,320
Speaker 4: See?

185
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,880
Speaker 5: I was thinking, she what therapy, she figured it out,

186
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,440
Speaker 5: she was sorry, she took care of them. People make mistakes,

187
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,400
Speaker 5: and how old are you supposed to, like, yeah, make

188
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,440
Speaker 5: up for she didn't bring them. I don't know, Like

189
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:29,760
Speaker 5: the authentic stones of no, you know, Romania.

190
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,880
Speaker 3: I think you're Yeah, the authentic stones of Romania would

191
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,400
Speaker 3: be definitely way too much. Those should stay in Romania

192
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,120
Speaker 3: where they belong.

193
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you brought the authentic stones of Romania. You've crossed

194
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,240
Speaker 2: into love bombing for sure.

195
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I just I think it's not even

196
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,240
Speaker 3: that because she did apologize and she went by the

197
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,200
Speaker 3: right way. But now the way she's acting is it's

198
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,960
Speaker 3: being like it's like the grip is like tightening like

199
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,880
Speaker 3: so hard on the relationship. It's like, I'm not.

200
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,040
Speaker 2: You know, it's they're young.

201
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 1: I get it.

202
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,960
Speaker 5: If I were to mess up and be like, you know,

203
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,480
Speaker 5: Angie and I were almost not gonna make it out,

204
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,239
Speaker 5: I'd probably.

205
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,280
Speaker 3: Be like, please, queen, what can I do to make

206
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 3: it up?

207
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,120
Speaker 5: You know I'm gonna, yeah, I'll be down bad like that.

208
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,439
Speaker 2: I think it depends on this if it was but

209
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:13,400
Speaker 2: if it.

210
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,640
Speaker 5: Was like two weeks out, a month out and she

211
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 5: was still doing this, I'd be on your side, Dakota, Yeah,

212
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:18,360
Speaker 5: because I.

213
00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:25,480
Speaker 2: Think I understand the urge to show your guilt and

214
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,480
Speaker 2: your remorse in this way by just being so apologetic

215
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,679
Speaker 2: and like try to be there and be like are

216
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,679
Speaker 2: we okay? Are we okay? But I think when you

217
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,520
Speaker 2: when you cross a certain point of like just asking

218
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,920
Speaker 2: for that all the time, then now you're looking to

219
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,120
Speaker 2: be taken care of in a way, and it's like

220
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,880
Speaker 2: that's still not really what you should be doing right now.

221
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,440
Speaker 2: You know, you should still be focused on him. There

222
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,520
Speaker 2: is a little bit more into the story. Let's finish

223
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 2: this on out. My brother came by randomly to bust

224
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,800
Speaker 2: my balls about a kidney stone and to suddenly try

225
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 2: and steal adult soda. He saw my girlfriend and busted

226
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,920
Speaker 2: her balls, and she along and thanked him for taking

227
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,199
Speaker 2: me to the hospital. He attempted to get compensation from

228
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,240
Speaker 2: her in the form of assistance with his chores, but

229
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,559
Speaker 2: she danced around that she was worried. My family hates her,

230
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 2: but I didn't really give them a full rundown, so

231
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,600
Speaker 2: they didn't really know how peeved I was. Things seem

232
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,600
Speaker 2: to be okay for now. I'm going to be watchful

233
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,960
Speaker 2: and make sure the behavior doesn't crop up anymore. But

234
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,800
Speaker 2: everything seems okay. Thanks for all your advice. There are

235
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,800
Speaker 2: some comments deleted. Says I don't really like that she

236
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,200
Speaker 2: basically forced her presence upon you and didn't give you

237
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,040
Speaker 2: any space. Seems manipulative. Opie says I could have gotten

238
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,680
Speaker 2: rid of her how I wanted her gone. She apologized

239
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,560
Speaker 2: pretty thoroughly and had good objections ready in case I

240
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:39,360
Speaker 2: wanted to argue.

241
00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it sounds like a sales tactic, you know

242
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 3: what I mean. It's like literally sales terminology. It's like, well,

243
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,120
Speaker 3: your your customer's going to have objections, and you have

244
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,280
Speaker 3: to be able to push through them.

245
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm confused about the good objections. Did she have

246
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,240
Speaker 2: a list or something, or did she object when you

247
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,439
Speaker 2: wanted to argue? I don't know. Are usual that will

248
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,000
Speaker 2: spend the weekend together at someone's place and this weekend

249
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,200
Speaker 2: it happened to be mine. I preferred it that way

250
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,520
Speaker 2: as I could lay on my couch ears Nosetail says,

251
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,640
Speaker 2: thanks for the update. It sounds like she's legitimately putting

252
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,800
Speaker 2: an effort to get over her issues rather than just

253
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 2: trying to appease you. I'm glad things are working out.

254
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 2: Probably a good idea for Op to just kind of

255
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,160
Speaker 2: keep his eye, keep sleep with one eye open to

256
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,440
Speaker 2: you know, see if maybe this is manipulation or if

257
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,720
Speaker 2: she does truly mean this and you can really only

258
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,560
Speaker 2: tell with time. It's not good to just like blindly

259
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 2: trust that, but it very it's very possible that both

260
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 2: could happen. Well, either, I guess could happen. But I

261
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 2: feel like either way, if this or me, the relationship

262
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,200
Speaker 2: would definitely be different. I would definitely see you different

263
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 2: as a person if this happened, you know.

264
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's like we all have stuff from

265
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,040
Speaker 3: our upbringing our childhood. But it's like, I don't know,

266
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:59,040
Speaker 3: I assume you were writhing in absolute pain, and your

267
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:02,719
Speaker 3: girlfriend's first instinct is to just basically think you're a

268
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,600
Speaker 3: liar and accuse you of just like wanting to ruin

269
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:12,559
Speaker 3: her day, which seems pretty regardless of having that grown

270
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,559
Speaker 3: up growing up. It's like, I don't know, you can

271
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:20,800
Speaker 3: disconnect that from your own experience to your parents.

272
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the end of the story. We're going

273
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,240
Speaker 2: to go on to the next one.

274
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 3: I might get a guy from my job fired because

275
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,800
Speaker 3: he made me uncomfortable. Do it do it? Do it fire? Yo?

276
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 3: Co workers, myself, twenty seven female, has been dealing with

277
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,200
Speaker 3: issues with a security guard male thirty to forties I

278
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,160
Speaker 3: don't know, in the building I currently work part time.

279
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,080
Speaker 3: Not long after I started the job, the guy in

280
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,319
Speaker 3: question cornered me in a back section of the building

281
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,040
Speaker 3: where we were completely alone, like no one would hear

282
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,679
Speaker 3: you alone, asking a bunch of personal questions. I am

283
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,280
Speaker 3: very non confrontational and hate being put on this and

284
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,760
Speaker 3: I couldn't remove myself from the area, so I tried

285
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,000
Speaker 3: to be as vague as possible. Get that guy fire,

286
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,679
Speaker 3: do it? Do it? Do it. By the way, this

287
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,680
Speaker 3: comes from user temporary Option sixty one five eight And

288
00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,160
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

289
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,840
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime subburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie,

290
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,440
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give you good advice. Goofy.

291
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 3: But we only know what we would do. We don't

292
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 3: have all the answers, so if you would do something different,

293
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:30,160
Speaker 3: let us know in the comments. Opie says he kept

294
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 3: trying to get me to add him on social media

295
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 3: to be friends outside of work because he didn't have any. Oh,

296
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,760
Speaker 3: I can't imagine why. He said his wife and child

297
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 3: were back in his home country. Blah blah blah, usual

298
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 3: SOB story stuff. So I'm just like I don't use

299
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,680
Speaker 3: social media and I have a boyfriend, the usual leave

300
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 3: me alone signals. Finally, after the longest fifteen minutes of

301
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,760
Speaker 3: my life, he left, mostly because his shift was finished.

302
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,520
Speaker 3: I was super uncomfortable, but I so from anxiety, so

303
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 3: the entire thing had me freaking out internally. I didn't

304
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 3: bring it up with management as I didn't want to

305
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,040
Speaker 3: be seen as overreacting or crazy when I hadn't even

306
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 3: been there that long for background info. He only ever

307
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 3: speaks to other male members of staff. It's very rarely

308
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 3: well that he will go out of his way to

309
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 3: speak to any of the other women that work here

310
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,560
Speaker 3: unless they talk to him first. Hence why him going

311
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 3: out of his way to corner me like that to

312
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,320
Speaker 3: talk is super out of the norm. So I don't

313
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,280
Speaker 3: feel like I was insane for getting bad vibes from him.

314
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 3: I know this dude to knowing someone who already works there,

315
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 3: and from my own observations. So if there's already someone

316
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 3: who also works there who's like, yeah, that security guard

317
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,360
Speaker 3: is creepy weirdo. Can't be a creepy weirdo security guard

318
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 3: hitting on all the ladies.

319
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, supposed to be there to protect you, But if

320
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 2: he's the one that you might need protecting from, then

321
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 2: that's no good.

322
00:15:56,200 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 3: Get him out of there. For the next five ish months,

323
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 3: he never tried to interact with me again. Great, I thought,

324
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 3: until a few days ago I was working in another

325
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,920
Speaker 3: semi secluded area of the building and he just appears

326
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:18,080
Speaker 3: out of nowhere trying to hand me chocolates. I'm like, oh, no,

327
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 3: thank you, but he keeps insisting, So I ask why

328
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 3: he just says, oh, just because again I hate being

329
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 3: put on the spot because I just panic and I'm

330
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 3: not great at telling people to leave me alone. So

331
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 3: to end the situation, I just took the chocolates and

332
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 3: put them in my cart so he would leave. Side note,

333
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 3: I just gave the chocolates to another colleague and told

334
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 3: him about what happened, to which I got the comment

335
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 3: of you shouldn't accept gifts. He'll start expecting things. So

336
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 3: again I'm left feeling like I can't really go to

337
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 3: anyone about this without sounding crazy. I tried to say

338
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 3: no and that didn't work. Then the very next day,

339
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,560
Speaker 3: after the chocolate thing, I get word from a buddy

340
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 3: who works in the mornings that the guard was carrying

341
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:06,439
Speaker 3: around flowers and chocolates, telling some people he's going to

342
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 3: give them to someone guess who, and that they've already

343
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 3: accepted chocolates off of him previously.

344
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

345
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,320
Speaker 3: Yeah no, or it's now it's super time to go

346
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,119
Speaker 3: to whoever runs the building, or go to your You know,

347
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 3: this shouldn't even be a situation you have to manage. Yeah,

348
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 3: it's like he's the security guard of the building. It's

349
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 3: like you need to go to like whoever in your

350
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,840
Speaker 3: company right that you're working for, being like, yeah, the

351
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,640
Speaker 3: security guards give me a lot of problems. I think

352
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,359
Speaker 3: he needs to be I don't know, we need to

353
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 3: reach out to the building or whoever's in charge of

354
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 3: staffing him needs to understand that that's that he's haressing me.

355
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,639
Speaker 3: I don't really understand how it's escalated this much in

356
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,359
Speaker 3: less than three sentences and twenty four hours, but I

357
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:48,200
Speaker 3: guess I'm just that amazing. So at this point, I'm

358
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,359
Speaker 3: stressed before I've even left a head to work because

359
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 3: I'm not paid enough to even want to deal with this.

360
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,919
Speaker 3: But a girl has bills to pay, so we can't skip,

361
00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 3: even though I really wanted to. So now I'm I

362
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,200
Speaker 3: keep catching him in the corner of my eye. You

363
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,200
Speaker 3: should be shouting at your TV at this point if

364
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 3: this were a film and not real life. Eventually I

365
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 3: leave the room I was working in and find the

366
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 3: flowers and chocolates left outside the room, no guy in sight.

367
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 3: I can short circuit and reset first at this cliffhanger.

368
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,159
Speaker 3: So bearing in mind, I've spoken to this guy once

369
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 3: months ago, in which I said I had a partner

370
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 3: and he claimed to have a wife and child. Then

371
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,239
Speaker 3: less than three sentences were spoken the day before, and

372
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 3: now this whole thing. I'm just done. So I just

373
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,680
Speaker 3: exploded and stormed down to the security office, threw the

374
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 3: stuff down, and basically told this guy, I don't know you,

375
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 3: you don't know me, leave me alone, you're making me uncomfortable,

376
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 3: don't do anything like this again, etc. Et cetera. So

377
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 3: he nods, I leave and find somewhere to hide and cry.

378
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:01,719
Speaker 3: I'm very emotional because anxiety and is a witch, and

379
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 3: as a non confrontational person, it was a very big

380
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 3: thing for me to do anything like that, So I'm

381
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 3: allowed to cry.

382
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 4: Absolutely.

383
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm proud of you for doing that. Op you

384
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,360
Speaker 2: locked in, you did exactly that, and you should go

385
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 2: cry and let that out because I'm sure that was stressful.

386
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,640
Speaker 3: True. Yeah, at this point I've calmed down and reporting

387
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 3: him still isn't on my mind. So of course this

388
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,640
Speaker 3: guy decides to disregard my feelings and comfort again. Now,

389
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: in my humble opinion, after having someone explode the way

390
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 3: I did and tell you to leave them alone, you'd think, yeah,

391
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 3: I better not approach them, at least for the rest

392
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 3: of the shift. The bare minimum. This guy, however, does

393
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 3: not think like this. He proceeds to walk down the

394
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 3: corridor of the area I'm in About an hour later.

395
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 3: I just so happened to be near the other end

396
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 3: by an exit door, so I just leave and hide

397
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 3: in a nearby women's changing room because I don't feel safe.

398
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 3: For context. As a security guard, he's supposed to walk

399
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 3: some routes before the changeover, but as he had already

400
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 3: walked back and forth through that area a few times

401
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 3: not that long ago, and he very easily could have

402
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 3: gone around, there was no need for him to walk

403
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 3: through the area again, even if he wanted to try

404
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 3: talking to me again. I feel like he's still disregarding

405
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 3: my feelings and my very clear instruction to leave me alone.

406
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 3: I mean, like to be fair, sure you could do like, yeah,

407
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 3: he was probably walking down there to like catch a

408
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 3: glimpse of you or see you or something, but you're

409
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 3: like at the other end of the hallway. I don't

410
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 3: think that that was conclusive enough evidence that he was

411
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:35,439
Speaker 3: going to continue to annoy you and go after you, because,

412
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 3: like you said, his job is to walk around at

413
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 3: some level. But like, I think the solution here that

414
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 3: we should have gone a long time ago. Is it

415
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 3: should have been like, Yeah, I'm getting unwanted romantic advances

416
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 3: from the security officer, right and someone needs to like

417
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,239
Speaker 3: let him know, Hey, you need to stop, and if

418
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 3: you don't stop, you're gonna lose your job. Right. So

419
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,160
Speaker 3: at this point, my anxiety is spiking again, and I'm

420
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 3: just pissed off that I'm being made to feel like

421
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 3: this because I probably smiled or greeted him once in

422
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 3: passing when he covered the receptionist desk a few weeks

423
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 3: after starting this job. At this point, I'm somewhat committed

424
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 3: to the idea of talking to my manager when I'm

425
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,159
Speaker 3: back at work, as the receptionist would have heard the

426
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 3: whole interaction and possibly told him about it already. My

427
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 3: family thinks it's funny and are joking about my stalker,

428
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 3: and my sister told me I should be careful what

429
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 3: I tell my manager, as the guy might lose his job.

430
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 3: So would I be the a hole if I decide

431
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 3: to tell my manager the full story from my perspective

432
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 3: and how it's affected me, even if it may lead

433
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 3: to a guy losing his job. I think that you're

434
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 3: not in charge of making sure this guy stays employed. Yeah,

435
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 3: it's his job. He's doing bad at.

436
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 2: It, absolutely absolutely, and it's not at all your responsibility,

437
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: like he said, not your responsibility for that. It's I

438
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 2: just don't like that excuse. I feel like that's typical

439
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: an excuse when women complain about men of like, oh,

440
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 2: but he's got so much ahead of him, you know

441
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 2: what I mean. Obviously in some situations that are like

442
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 2: much more escalated than this one, but still that's not

443
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: that shouldn't be a worry when it comes to your

444
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 2: safety here, because you know, even though your safety really

445
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 2: you know, you haven't had any direct threats, it's still

446
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 2: very uncomfortable and could very well lead to a problem

447
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: with your safety. So I think you shouldn't worry about that.

448
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 2: You can tell your boss like, hey, I don't want

449
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 2: to make this like a big deal, but I just

450
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 2: want to let you know that this made me very

451
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 2: uncomfortable and this is what happened. This is what happened.

452
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,239
Speaker 2: Do what you will with that, you know, you just

453
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: want to I feel like it just needs to be known.

454
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, comment one not the ahole. I work as a

455
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 3: security guard. This is completely unprofessional and inappropriate for one thing,

456
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 3: the guard is not to stop and speak with anyone

457
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 3: for fifteen minutes. He's not paying attention to his responsibilities.

458
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 3: Does he not realize that they're our cameras everywhere. Every

459
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 3: post I work has cameras everywhere. He has been recorded

460
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 3: doing this to you. Go to your supervisor, tell them

461
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 3: everything that has happened. He'll be reassigned or fired. And

462
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: that's his fault. Comment to not the ahole. He's the

463
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 3: one jeopardizing his job by behaving inappropriately. Report him and

464
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 3: tell them everything that's happened. His behavior is concerning, and

465
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 3: there is an update update. I don't think this guy's

466
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 3: gonna get fired.

467
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 4: I hope so, I sure hope.

468
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 3: So you can't be secure and if you're trying to

469
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 3: give chocolates and flowers to somebody for fifteen minutes, yeah,

470
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 3: and you're just a creep. You're the person we're supposed

471
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 3: to secure from right first, thank you to everyone who commented.

472
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 3: I read them this morning when I woke up and

473
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: was a bit overwhelmed, but they really lifted a weight

474
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 3: off my chest. I didn't realize how much I just

475
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 3: needed someone to say what you all did, so you

476
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 3: all really helped give me that final to be brave

477
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 3: and tell the higher ups at work. My manager wasn't

478
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 3: in today as he's off for a few days on holiday,

479
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 3: so I spoke to my supervisor, which was probably for

480
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 3: the best really, as she's an older woman who won't

481
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 3: take crap from anyone, so it was a bit easier

482
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 3: to let her know the situation. We have a little

483
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 3: bit more story left. Yeah, this is just a great

484
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 3: example of you go to the bus. Go to the

485
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 3: bus when you got problems with somebody annoying you, you

486
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 3: go to the bus yep. She told me I was

487
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: silly in a nice way and should have come to

488
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 3: her sooner about all this, and is taking it all

489
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 3: very seriously. Great. She's going to talk to the boss

490
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 3: above the manager tomorrow and get some stuff sorted as

491
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 3: she doesn't want the guy on site. It turns out

492
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 3: he's an agency worker, not a full time employee, so

493
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 3: I think it makes the process easier, but I'm not

494
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 3: really sure, so I may have to speak with more

495
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 3: people tomorrow or over the next few days, but I'm

496
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 3: glad I did it. Also, I realize in the small

497
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: snapshot kind of made my family seem really mean. They're

498
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,479
Speaker 3: just regular levels of mean like typical families are. I

499
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 3: tend to use humor to downplay how serious stuff is,

500
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 3: to make it seem less scary for myself to process

501
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 3: and not want to worry my friends and family, So

502
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 3: I set the tone for them to make jokes about it.

503
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 3: Without that context, they do seem a bit, you know.

504
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: But when I got home, my big brother did take

505
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 3: me out to get food as a well done. I

506
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 3: still had to pay for my share, though, because he's

507
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 3: still my pain than the butt big brother, So he

508
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 3: didn't really take you out, y'all went somewhere to eat.

509
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, he invited you to hang out and.

510
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 3: Then yeah, he's like, hey, do you want to come

511
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 3: go get some food that you pay for too?

512
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 2: Right?

513
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 3: Right, good job, You're gonna gonna eat that?

514
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

515
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story.

516
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like the family is fine. I mean

517
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: it was. It was a little snippet of of that

518
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: that you know, people could see as like really harmful,

519
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: but I think it's I think it's okay. And the

520
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: sister suggesting that she doesn't tell because of the guy's

521
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: job was obviously wrong, but I think it is hopefully

522
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 2: a learning moment. For that sister, because she might very

523
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 2: well be in that position in her future. So hopefully she,

524
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 2: you know, doesn't feel like that forever. I don't think

525
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,120
Speaker 2: she was like malicious in any way for that, but.

526
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think so.

527
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: Good job, Op, you did it and everything's working out.

528
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: Isn't that lovely? Isn't that lovely when that happens?

529
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story, And we're gonna

530
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 3: move on to the next one.

531
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

532
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of bads from our sponsors that

533
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

534
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 2: My best friend rejected me twice. Now she's furious that

535
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 2: I moved on.

536
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 3: Oh well, the shoes on the other foot, now, isn't it.

537
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 2: I twenty four male, have been friends with Chloe twenty

538
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 2: three female for five years. She's always been there for me,

539
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 2: so when she planned to visit me in a few

540
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 2: months ago, I was excited to finally hang out. By

541
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Hungry Sprinkles nineteen three, and

542
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

543
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay story Times. Separddit and I'm Angie,

544
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

545
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 2: But that means we don't have all the answers. We're

546
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: just gonna guess what we would do in this situation.

547
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 2: Let us know what you would do in the comments below.

548
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,679
Speaker 2: So Op says before the trip, she admitted that she

549
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 2: had feelings for me for three years.

550
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 3: Woo.

551
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: We ended up hooking up while she was here.

552
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 3: Woo.

553
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 2: By the end of the visit, I told her I

554
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: had real feelings and wanted to see if something could

555
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 2: come from it. Ooh. She told me no, Oh, she

556
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 2: just wanted to stay friends. I was hurt, but I

557
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: respected it. A month later, she came back saying she

558
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: couldn't hide it anymore and wanted to try. We started talking,

559
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: but it never became a relationship. She was going through

560
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 2: family drama, she lost her job and was bouncing between couches.

561
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 2: I even asked if being with me it was too

562
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: much for her right now, and she agreed that it

563
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 2: was better to stay friends, so I let it go again.

564
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 2: I had even planned a trip to fly out to

565
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 2: see her for my birthday to see if she was serious,

566
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: but she canceled on me twice Meanwhile, she was chatting

567
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 2: with her old flings, which I didn't care about since

568
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: she told me we were just friends. Not long after

569
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 2: my ex twenty two female reached out, we had ended

570
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 2: on okay terms, so we started talking. I told her

571
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 2: that I wanted to take things slow out of respect,

572
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: I told Chloe. Immediately, she got mad, ghosted me, and

573
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 2: then came back still sending flirty messages.

574
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 3: Girl, you gotta pick what you want, girl, pick pick your.

575
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: Lane all over the place. At one point, after saying

576
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 2: she didn't want a relationship, she texted, but I miss

577
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 2: you and your bed.

578
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: Be like, well, here's the exact mattress I have. You

579
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 3: can go by it at the store. Good luck.

580
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I moved forward with my ex. When I

581
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: mentioned spending time with my ex and her family, Chloe exploded.

582
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: She accused me of leading her on, said that I

583
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: was choosing someone else over her, and then cut me off.

584
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 3: Good just keep it that way.

585
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 2: The next day, she was reposting tiktoks like when he

586
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 2: makes you cry like this and many crap. Thing is

587
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: I never lied, never hit anything. I asked her multiple

588
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: times to clarify what she wanted, and she told me

589
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 2: twice that she didn't want a relationship. I respected her

590
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 2: decision every time. She is the one who flip flopped,

591
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 2: canceled trips, flirted after telling me no, and then got

592
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: mad when I moved on. So am I the a

593
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 2: hole for moving on after she made it clear that

594
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: she didn't want me? And we do have some comments,

595
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 2: But what's your answer?

596
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 3: Well, of course the answer is no, but also why

597
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: are we dating our ex?

598
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 2: Well?

599
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 3: Sure, you're like and then the rationale is like we

600
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: kind of ended on good terms. It's like, okay, why

601
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 3: are we dating our ex?

602
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: Sure, but we do have some comments. Commentary Number one

603
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 2: says this is a joke, right, not trying to be disrespectful,

604
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: but huh, she was definitely playing her options out the

605
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: periods of flirting with you heavy, then silence, repeating speaks

606
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: volumes she doesn't really like you, my man, not a

607
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: good friend either. Forget her. Opie says, yeah, I guess

608
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: I just really believed her when she said that she

609
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: had feelings for me all those years. Common number two says,

610
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 2: bin her off. She enjoys the validation of having guys

611
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: want her, and you won't be the only one. She's

612
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: just mad that you didn't hang around in hopes that

613
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 2: she might choose you a total attention which who never

614
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 2: had any intention of being with you. Now she is

615
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: trying to make it somehow your fault that she whipped

616
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 2: her out and found out herself out of the picture,

617
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 2: not the ahole. Common Number three says it, I feel

618
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: sorry for your ex. Seems like you're holding out for

619
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 2: a girl who doesn't want you and using her as

620
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: a placeholder. Have you told your ex you hooked up

621
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: with your friend she and that she's been sending you

622
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: flirty messages? Says I get why I might look that way,

623
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 2: and I appreciate you calling that out. When my ex

624
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: first reached out, it was just small talk, nothing romantic,

625
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,959
Speaker 2: and I didn't let it become more until Chloe had

626
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: already told me twice that she didn't want a relationship.

627
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: My ex knows about the situation with Chloe and that

628
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: there was some back and forth, so I haven't hidden

629
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 2: where things stand. And we do have an update. People,

630
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 2: Do we think we're gonna be friends with this girl

631
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: for much longer?

632
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 3: I can't see it lasting.

633
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think it should.

634
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 2: So on to the update, I didn't expect my original

635
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: post to blow up the way it did, but thank

636
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 2: you to everyone who commented it actually helped me put

637
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: a lot in perspective. A lot of you said that

638
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: Chloe just wanted attention and keep me as back up,

639
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 2: and after this week, I can't even argue with that.

640
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: Here's what went down. A few days ago. I was

641
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 2: on my lunch break, literally driving to Kolver's when Chloe

642
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 2: called me out of nowhere. I let it go to voicemail,

643
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 2: against my better judgment. I called back and asked if

644
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: she meant to. She said no, she was actually trying

645
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 2: to call another friend whose name is right next to mine.

646
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: I said, no problem. She wished me a good day,

647
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 2: and that was that, except it wasn't. About an hour

648
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 2: later she called again. I ignored it, texted another accident

649
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: and she didn't answer.

650
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 3: But then called me again.

651
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: Dude, she's got she's got uh not butterfingers, She's got

652
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 2: sausage fingers on these on these keys right now.

653
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 3: She's got hey remember me, fingers? Ooh hey remember me?

654
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 3: And I'd say, block, block, block, I got block fingers.

655
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 2: Block anyway, this time I picked up. She told me,

656
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: I don't like this game. I know I probably hurt

657
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 2: your feelings. I'm not mad at you, just the situation.

658
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 3: Cool. It's your game.

659
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 2: It is your game, girl, the only one playing right now.

660
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 3: You have the purchase receipt for this game.

661
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I said, yeah, I was hurt. She threw

662
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: away a five year friendship over a mess that she

663
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: could and strung me through. She said she understood, and

664
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: then hung up because her mom was calling. Not even

665
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: five minutes later, she texted me. She said that she

666
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: couldn't call again, but could text, then dropped this bomb

667
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 2: when I said I loved you, it wasn't in a

668
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 2: friend way. I reminded her that I told her multiple

669
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: times that I had feelings too, and she's the one

670
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: who wanted things quote back to normal and later told

671
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 2: me that a relationship.

672
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 4: Was too much. I laid it out.

673
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 2: She rejected me twice, honestly three times if you count.

674
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: When I asked straight up if we were just friends

675
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: and she said yes about a month and a half ago.

676
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 2: Her reply, I bet you have a whole new girl,

677
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: and I've never liked me in the first place. Not

678
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 2: true at the.

679
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 3: Time, guys. This is I said this earlier today about

680
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 3: my morning. I was talking to my girlfriend. But this

681
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: is a like put it in, like the the asterisk,

682
00:33:54,200 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 3: just like a long, deep, frustrated sigh type moment, just yeah,

683
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: what are you talking about?

684
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 4: Truly, what are you talking about?

685
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,720
Speaker 2: So I did truly have feelings for her, So I asked,

686
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 2: how can she be mad at me for moving on

687
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 2: when I was literally doing what she asked me to do.

688
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: I told her, if anything, we should have kept it

689
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: at friendship level to avoid all the mixed signals. She

690
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 2: fired back, I don't want to be brides. I asked

691
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 2: her why she reached out at all. Her answer, because

692
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: I didn't know if you I don't know how to

693
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 2: do awaydays incest because.

694
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 3: I didn't not if you had to give that's a chance.

695
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 2: There you go, That's what she said. So I spelled

696
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 2: it out clearly. I didn't give it a chance. Multiple

697
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: times she said no, thrice told me she didn't want

698
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 2: a relationship, twice canceled trips I planned to see her.

699
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 2: At that point, I had no choice but to move on.

700
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: I told her my decision is final. I've moved on,

701
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 2: and I wished her the best. She replied, players no,

702
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 2: please now ah place. Now I stood firm, told her

703
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,439
Speaker 2: that I respect her, I wish her well, but I'm

704
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 2: not going back. So yeah, this confirmed everything you guys

705
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 2: warned me about. She wanted me as an option, not

706
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 2: as a choice, and the second I stopped playing along,

707
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 2: she couldn't handle it. We do have some comments. Do

708
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: we have any final comments before we go into those?

709
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 3: Yeah? I really am upset that you didn't go thrice.

710
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:37,320
Speaker 3: She did this pie twice she did that, and once

711
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 3: I cared.

712
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 2: For her, blame opiing on me.

713
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 3: You could have had the perfect You were perfectly.

714
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: Served it up so close. It's so cool.

715
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 3: We're gonna work on that creative writing style. But yeah, Hey, honestly,

716
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 3: if it was me, I would have stopped entertaining it

717
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 3: way faster.

718
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know.

719
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 3: That's because I've already learned this lesson Goose.

720
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 2: We've been there. We've been there, and we left walked

721
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: away from these people. And it looks like you're doing

722
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 2: that now too. So at least you got there. But

723
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 2: there are some comments coming. Number one says, why are

724
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 2: you even entertaining her? Didn't you say you and your

725
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: ex have started up again? Like who cares what she

726
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 2: did or didn't do? You were being really unfair to

727
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: the girl that you're supposedly with if you're really giving

728
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 2: this trick this much energy, Opie says, with all due respect,

729
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 2: that's a really bold conclusion to jump to. I've never

730
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: been a cheater and never will be. I have too

731
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: much respect for the person that I'm with to do that.

732
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 2: Funny enough, It's actually been the opposite in my life.

733
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: I've been cheated on in every relationship because I accept

734
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,959
Speaker 2: my current ex and we only broke up the first

735
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 2: time for reasons unrelated to cheating. And just to be clear,

736
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 2: I never claimed that she and I are officially back together.

737
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: We're talking and taking things very slow. So not only

738
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 2: would cheating go against my values, but in this situation,

739
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 2: it doesn't even line up with the facts. It doesn't

740
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 2: even line up with the facts. Coming Number two says,

741
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 2: are you being transparent with the woman that you are

742
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: seeing right now? About this? I feel like you will

743
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: be uh effing on and off with Chloe while taking

744
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: things slow with your ex. You seem to be enjoying

745
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 2: her being the one chasing you for once. If you

746
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: are truly done with Chloe, cut her off completely, stop

747
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 2: answering her text and calls or you'll just end up

748
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 2: going back to her. Hopie says, my ex is fully

749
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 2: aware of the fallout between Chloe and me, and to

750
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 2: be clear, I haven't been messing around with Chloe at

751
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 2: all since this situation began.

752
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that really seemed a little like a bit of

753
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 3: a jump from the commenter.

754
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like adding on from the previous commentary.

755
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 3: Hey, little commenter, what have you been doing?

756
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:33,919
Speaker 4: Right?

757
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 3: You been messing around project? Would you mess around with

758
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 3: someone who do to you?

759
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:45,439
Speaker 2: Right? I don't enjoy the chasing. It's only ever left

760
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: me trained, and I've already cut her off completely. Good job, Opie.

761
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: Another commentar or says, blog her already. Oh well, she

762
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 2: has never loved you, my guy. She had to you

763
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 2: as a backup plan and likes the attention. Don't let

764
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 2: her mess up your relationship, because she will if she

765
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,359
Speaker 2: gets the chance. Cut her off for good and block

766
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 2: her everywhere and move on. Help, He says. I completely

767
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 2: understand where you're coming from, and I agree that keeping

768
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: her in my life any longer would have only created

769
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 2: more issues. I don't think she's ever intentionally set out

770
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: to her me, but I can see now that she

771
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: liked the comfort and attention more than she actually wanted me.

772
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 2: That's not healthy for either of us, and I've already

773
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,479
Speaker 2: cut her off completely to make sure that she can't

774
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 2: interfere with what I'm rebuilding now. It was a hard lesson,

775
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: but one I definitely needed to learn. And that is

776
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 2: the end of that story.

777
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here.

778
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,280
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories.

779
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 4: Put a quick three.

780
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: Minute ad break from our sponsors that keep the show going.

781
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 4: My spouse lost arm million dollar net worth in a

782
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 4: crypto scam behind my back.

783
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 3: Oh the babe dingle coin was gonna pop off, I swear.

784
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 4: Editor's note. A pig butchering slash slaughtering scheme is a

785
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 4: scam where a scammer builds a relationship with someone before

786
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 4: convincing them to invest in a fraudulent thing. Late last year,

787
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 4: I was not doing well mentally speaking. My spouse had

788
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 4: just gone through some stuff themselves, and we were just

789
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 4: mopen and not being kind to each other. I said

790
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 4: some things that led them to believe I was exploring

791
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 4: the idea of leaving them. By the way, this comes

792
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 4: from slaughter to piggy and adorable profit.

793
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 2: Oh little double little double thing.

794
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 4: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

795
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime separate it.

796
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

797
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,280
Speaker 4: Give good advice scoofully. But we don't have all the answers.

798
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 4: We only know what we do, so let us know

799
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 4: what you would do. In the comments, I wasn't. I

800
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 4: was actually implying that I was afraid they would leave me.

801
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 4: This misunderstanding and the general bad vibes compelled my spouse

802
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 4: to seek advice from people on social media. One such

803
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 4: friend post as a financial advisor at an investment firm

804
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 4: and suggested my spouse invest jointly in some sort of

805
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 4: diversified asset portfolio. My spouse did so by liquidating a

806
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 4: savings account they had from before we got married. I

807
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 4: had no knowledge of any of this was happening, as

808
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 4: I was busy dealing with my own life spontaneously combusting,

809
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 4: trying to get back on my feet, and generally being

810
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 4: a sad sack. This investment had to be made in crypto.

811
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 4: Of course, my spouse has been subject to multiple rants

812
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 4: from me that crypto is a pyramid scheme worse than

813
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 4: a meme stock because at least those are insured, so

814
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 4: my spouse was somehow assured that the whole thing was

815
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 4: legit because only the transfers had to be made in crypto.

816
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 4: The rest was put into an account and could be

817
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,720
Speaker 4: seen in USD by logging into a website with posted

818
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 4: transactionistory and dividends. A couple of months past, and the

819
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 4: investment had basically quadrupled in value, the friend enticed my

820
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 4: spouse to upgrade the account. This is where my spouse

821
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 4: began to draw from our joint accounts, joint savings, and

822
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 4: the proceeds we recently got from the sale of our

823
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,439
Speaker 4: last house. Of course, the friend knew about the fact

824
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 4: that we had a massive proceeds from a real estate

825
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 4: sale because my spouse told them when we sold it.

826
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 4: My spouse and I explicitly agreed to roll those proceeds

827
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 4: into our current mortgage to reduce our payments by a

828
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 4: substantial amount, which would make us much better off financially.

829
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 4: At this time, as a result of my issues going

830
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 4: away and the sale of that house, which had taken forever,

831
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 4: I had gotten my act together and was noticeably happier. Still,

832
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 4: for whatever reason, my spouse persisted in hiding that they

833
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 4: did something different with the proceeds from me. I was

834
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 4: still completely in the dark. Of course, this new input

835
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 4: supposedly paid off, and the website reflected even better dividends.

836
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 4: My spouse claims that they thought it was legit because

837
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 4: of how Crypto was going nuts at the time. Of course,

838
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 4: had my spouse checked in with me at any time,

839
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 4: I would have immediately clocked it as a scam from

840
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 4: day one. So now comes the real mess. My spouse

841
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 4: attempted to close out the investment account. In came the

842
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 4: fees and taxes and whatnot. I was still sitting there,

843
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 4: happy as can be, thinking of how nice it would

844
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 4: be now that I've gotten back on my feet, also

845
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 4: refinance my stupid mortgage and have money to finally enjoy

846
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 4: buying nice things we had been putting off. Of course,

847
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 4: all our savings, proceeds and retirement were gone this time,

848
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 4: so my spouse went hat in hand to their family,

849
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 4: who loaned them basically an entire master's degree of student

850
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 4: loans worth of money. My spouse converted it all to Crypto.

851
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 4: What I literally am like suing this guy. I'm suing

852
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 4: him as per usual and away. It went into the

853
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 4: black hole of fraud while I blissfully remain completely ignorant

854
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 4: like a total moron. Now my spouse put in withdrawal requests.

855
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 4: They got my spouse's ID, account numbers, you name it.

856
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 4: New fees popped up, new loans were made. Chuck mall

857
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 4: in the pile. Why not After a couple of months

858
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 4: of delays moving money around to different banks, Yes, they

859
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,800
Speaker 4: had multifactor logins, account histories and all sorts of nonsense

860
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 4: to make it look legit, the spouse started to get

861
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 4: the family come and knock and asking for payment before

862
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 4: they were hit with taxes. Of course, the m laws

863
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 4: did not tell me any of this, so they're all

864
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: on my list as well for being complete morons, not

865
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 4: figuring out it was a scam, and not once thinking

866
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 4: that they should ask my spouse if they had permission

867
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 4: for me to borrow six figures. So the spouse went

868
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 4: to an actual friend mention what was going on, and

869
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 4: the actual friend blessed them, clued in the spouse that

870
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 4: it sounded fishy. Yeah, you've lost millions of freaking dollars

871
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 4: and your friend is like, this doesn't all right?

872
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 3: Never give strangers access to your financial accounts.

873
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 4: Valentine's Day weekend look, he me the spouse detailed the

874
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 4: whole sordid thing. Spouse didn't know it was a scam

875
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 4: until they started telling me. I clocked in immediately, through

876
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,399
Speaker 4: drips and dribbles, I got the damage. It's gone, all

877
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 4: of it, our entire savings, and we're in substantial debt.

878
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 4: Our net worth before this was creeping up towards one million.

879
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 4: Now it's six figures in the red. I'm honestly still

880
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 4: in shock. My friends wonder why I haven't filed for divorce,

881
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 4: probably because all that would accomplish is losing the one

882
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 4: thing we have left, as we would have to sell

883
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 4: the house. I've forced my spouse into marital counseling and

884
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,439
Speaker 4: we will be executing papers to make sure the debts

885
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 4: are not owned by me jointly, but just my spouse.

886
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 4: We're putting the assets in my name. If I leave,

887
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 4: I lose the house and walk away with a massive

888
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 4: iou but my spouse they'd be most of the way

889
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 4: to a million in debt to me because of this.

890
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 4: I don't know if I have the heart to do that.

891
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 4: Since none of this was malicious, it was just really

892
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 4: really stupid and dishonest, but mostly stupid.

893
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 3: Maliciously stupid and delicious.

894
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:28,240
Speaker 4: They lied to you. Your spouse lied to you, took money.

895
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 4: That is malicious. I don't care if they were like, well,

896
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,399
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get all this money back and it's gonna

897
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 4: be great. They lied to you.

898
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 3: Dingle Coin is the future, babe. Dingle Coin is the future.

899
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 4: Yes, I've been forcing the spouse to report it all

900
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 4: to law enforcements. Of course, the spouse freaked out when

901
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 4: I immediately clocked it as fraud and went on a rant,

902
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 4: not kindly, about how my life savings are probably right

903
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 4: now financing bad stuff. Yes, I know it's probably all

904
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 4: gone and I'm not getting any of it back anyway.

905
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 4: That's that I wanted to share it to remind you

906
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 4: all that some knowledge can be much deadlier than none.

907
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,439
Speaker 4: House is educated, as am I, and we've done well

908
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 4: for ourselves through former investments that have paid off that

909
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 4: led my spouse to complacency and faith in themselves. I

910
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 4: believe them when they say they did not know it.

911
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 2: Was a scam.

912
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 4: I don't even care if they didn't know it was

913
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 4: a scam. I don't even care at the core of this,

914
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 4: they lied to you, took out millions or you know,

915
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 4: thousands and thousands of dollars because you said you were

916
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 4: almost millions.

917
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 3: Story would be what Neo's nook on TikTok says. The

918
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 3: family seems to have money, yes, because they gave him money.

919
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 3: It means that maybe this guy never learned financially what

920
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,720
Speaker 3: the value of money really is, and he was just like, oh, yeah, well, whatever,

921
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:42,919
Speaker 3: I can put all of our money into what should

922
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 3: have been obviously a scam, and it's like it does it. Well, whatever, We're.

923
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 4: All right, But that does not change the fact that

924
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 4: now our retirement is gone and we have to factor

925
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 4: in these horrific debts that shouldn't exist every time we

926
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 4: contemplate doing something completely iname, like spending two dollars on

927
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 4: brand name oatmeal instead of Ginner. Please please, please do

928
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 4: not fall victim to things like this. I do not

929
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 4: wish this on anyone. Don't keep your finances secret from

930
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 4: your family. Always gut check with someone you know in

931
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 4: real life, and trust when something seems like a good opportunity.

932
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 4: As soon as someone proposes any transaction in crypto, it

933
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 4: should be a red flag. Just because there's an account,

934
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 4: a website, receipts, and paperwork, it does not mean it's real.

935
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 4: I'm sharing this here for informational purposes because I don't

936
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 4: want this to happen to anyone else. I'm also open

937
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 4: to advice or roasting. Believe me, I've already said horrible

938
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 4: things to myself. There's not a lot you can say

939
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,760
Speaker 4: that I haven't already thought. And edit. Oh be clarified

940
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 4: in a few comments that they didn't want to gender

941
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 4: their spouse in the post because they didn't want the

942
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,879
Speaker 4: Internet to make this into a gendered issue. And there

943
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 4: are some comments. OP had many comments that contained a

944
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 4: lot of good information. I try to only include the

945
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 4: most illustrative and helpful ones. But if you have a

946
00:46:55,760 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 4: specific question, OPI probably answered it to delete it. Commoner me, Yeah,

947
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 4: I shouldn't have been checked out of what was going

948
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 4: on with the accounts while trying to recover from a

949
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 4: professional setback the spouse product of highly religious upbringing, I've

950
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 4: come to find out I did not fully appreciate the

951
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 4: extent to which being indoctrinated in extreme line faith on

952
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,959
Speaker 4: a regular basis when you're super young does to set

953
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 4: you up for a lifetime of being taken advantage of

954
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 4: talk to a bankruptcy lawyer. We're talking to a BK

955
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 4: attorney right now. We're kind of aft either way. These

956
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 4: are all private loans, so our credit is still pristine.

957
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 4: If we go BK, the loans disappear, but so does

958
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 4: our good credit. If we don't go BK, the loans

959
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 4: can be slowly repaid, family will restructure and we keep

960
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 4: our credit scores. I want to go BKA. We have

961
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 4: the intake appointment later this month. If I have some

962
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 4: attorneys verifying it's the right thing to do. It's going

963
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 4: to be a painful ultimatum to the spouse. Burn your

964
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 4: family or burn me. Their decision will tell me a

965
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 4: lot of things. Commoner says, the spouse who fell for

966
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 4: the scam should be removed from all accounts. Obviously they

967
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 4: don't have the wear though to avoid the scams, Op says,

968
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 4: already done. We have two separate accounts and a single

969
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 4: joint one. Right now. My income goes into one. The

970
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 4: mortgage is paid there, spouse's income goes into the other.

971
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 4: The debts that are due right now are paid there.

972
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 4: Everything else is on a credit card and is paid

973
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 4: out of the joint after we split the amount due

974
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 4: and transfer from separate accounts into the joint. I made

975
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 4: the spouse come clean to all of our close friends

976
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 4: and family, including mine. Everyone knows they are in the

977
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 4: dog's house financially and has been told to tattle to

978
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 4: me about anything, with the consequence being that I will

979
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 4: leave and leave them to pay back the loans themselves.

980
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 4: They can't. They're only going to recoup if I don't leave.

981
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 4: Commoner says, also a pee. Were you not getting notifications

982
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 4: or checking the joint account? OHP says nope, bills were

983
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 4: getting paid on time and in full, and I wasn't

984
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 4: checking the individual drill downs and accounts. In our financial

985
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 4: reporting software, I have full access, and I just checked

986
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 4: top line amounts like yep, the full value of a

987
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 4: mine money and our accounces in there. But because the

988
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 4: investment account read fake, was created as an account in

989
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 4: our software, it didn't show the money missing because the

990
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:12,839
Speaker 4: full value of the investment account equaled the transwers from

991
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 4: legitimate accounts. I was also really leffed up. I downplayed

992
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 4: it in the OG post, but I was considering checking

993
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 4: myself into an inpatient mental health hold because I was

994
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 4: basically full on hallucinating on a weekly basis. I was

995
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 4: really not with it for the better part of three

996
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 4: months and wholly trying to get out of mental health crisis,

997
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 4: while my spouse was also having one as well and

998
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 4: mostly emotionally unavailable. I know they didn't do this maliciously,

999
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 4: but it does kind of feel like punishment for losing

1000
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,280
Speaker 4: my crap and op clarifies my spouse. I don't believe

1001
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,439
Speaker 4: they wanted to get caught in a scam maliciously. Commoner says,

1002
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 4: even if intentions were good, it is completely disrespectful that

1003
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 4: your spouse and their family went behind your back to

1004
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 4: throw away not just their own but your combined assets

1005
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 4: and money. OPI says, I'm exploring options to get out

1006
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 4: from under the debt. I can start over at zero,

1007
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 4: but I'm not willing to be a willing victim to

1008
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 4: being in the red and the years of toil that

1009
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,760
Speaker 4: it will take to get out from under these debts,

1010
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 4: none of which I knew about or consented to. I've

1011
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 4: always been fiscally conservative with my finances and made a

1012
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 4: lot of sacrifices in my twenties and thirties. Instead of

1013
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 4: taking nice trips, buying nice things and going to top

1014
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 4: schools and taking on debt. I'm not flushing that down

1015
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 4: the toilet even more than I already have. It's probably

1016
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 4: going to come down to them figuring out they have

1017
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 4: to tell their family they can't pay the debt, or

1018
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 4: letting me file for divorce. I would never ever choose

1019
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 4: to marry someone as far into debt as they are now,

1020
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 4: at the age I'm met with the amount of money

1021
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,879
Speaker 4: I make. I still love them, I probably always will,

1022
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 4: but I would never respect myself again if I indentured

1023
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 4: myself to their family who collaborated in this theft with them.

1024
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 4: Commoner says only one piece of advice for me. The

1025
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 4: scammers stole your money, don't let them also steal your marriage.

1026
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,240
Speaker 4: Don't let criminals who viciously attacked you be the cause

1027
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 4: of you and your spouse losing things that matter even

1028
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 4: more than money. Right, It does feel like that's kind

1029
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 4: of where Ope's at. But this wasn't the scammers who

1030
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:10,399
Speaker 4: forced Ope's partner to lie about what they were doing. Yeah,

1031
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,400
Speaker 4: the scammers took advantage and stole a bunch of money,

1032
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:17,879
Speaker 4: but Ope's partner decided to lie to Opee and take

1033
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 4: money from their joint account without talking to Opie about it.

1034
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 3: Well, it sounds like they were both in a mental

1035
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 3: health crisis at the time too. I don't know. It

1036
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 3: sounds absolutely but ruthlessly targeted by somebody you really knew

1037
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 3: what they were doing.

1038
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I do. I don't. I don't want to discredit

1039
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 4: like what the scammers did. Obviously the scammers are at fault,

1040
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 4: but like I.

1041
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 3: Do say that, I don't know the same way about

1042
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 3: Like you know, when there's like familial arguments and you

1043
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 3: like hate your mother in law and then you like

1044
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 3: go to your partner and you're like, if i'm we're

1045
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 3: gonna have to split. If something doesn't change, it's like,

1046
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 3: well then it's like brother in law wins.

1047
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 4: Thanks. That's where I am right now. I don't gain

1048
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 4: anything from leaving so long as they're trying to make

1049
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 4: it right. I've already made it pretty clear that if

1050
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 4: they stop trying, I'm gone. And I'm the one who

1051
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 4: has lawyer for friends, not them, So I'm not taking

1052
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 4: those loans in the divorce. Spouse's education, oh it's mega stupid.

1053
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 4: For the record, I have an arts doctorate. They have

1054
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:11,359
Speaker 4: a stem masters. You'd think that would mean I would

1055
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 4: be the global one, but no. The crypto wasn't the investment.

1056
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 4: It was the mechanism that was used to make transfers.

1057
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,839
Speaker 4: The investment was sold with some sort of diversified portfolio.

1058
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 4: The friend said it did include some crypto. I don't

1059
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,839
Speaker 4: think my spouse ever verified what was allegedly in this portfolio.

1060
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 4: Like I said, it's extremely dumb, but that's how these

1061
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 4: scams work. This was a friend they made online. They

1062
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 4: talked for months about inane things like shared hobbies, books

1063
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 4: and TV shows. There was trust there when there shouldn't

1064
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 4: have been. I know the people I meet online can

1065
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 4: be fake. Heck, I'd made fake accounts on purpose to

1066
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 4: crap post. They didn't know that until this did spouse

1067
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 4: attempt to validate thing? Op says yes. The problem was

1068
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 4: that these sites looked completely legitimate from the outside. They

1069
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 4: had phone numbers, set up, email accounts, and all sorts

1070
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 4: of navigable pages set up an account. The website had

1071
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 4: two factor authentication and posted transactions that match what the

1072
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 4: people my spouse were in contact with told them. There

1073
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,240
Speaker 4: were multiple websites they set up to transfer funds around

1074
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,439
Speaker 4: that reflected these transactions. I would have spotted it as

1075
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 4: a fake. But I've created and maintained websites before, so

1076
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 4: I know how easily things like this can be spoofed

1077
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,719
Speaker 4: and what points to something being wrong. That's why the

1078
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 4: financial transparency would have prevented this. I would have spotted

1079
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 4: this as a scam from day one, and it is

1080
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 4: what makes moving on so difficult. Spouse's response to all this,

1081
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 4: We're in marriage counseling, So the long short of it

1082
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 4: is I don't really know where they were at, not

1083
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 4: fully and not yet. It's hard for me to phrase

1084
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 4: out because I wouldn't even spend or transfer two hundred

1085
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 4: dollars without telling them. I'm an oversharer. I am mostly

1086
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 4: incapable emotional unavailability, which is what led to this. I

1087
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 4: can't keep a secret. I once gave them the silent

1088
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 4: treatment for six hours. That was all I lasted. If

1089
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,479
Speaker 4: they're not mentally with it, they can ice me out

1090
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 4: for weeks. I think they also ice themselves out and

1091
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 4: don't know they're in distress. I have a hard time

1092
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 4: imagining what that is like. Right now, they're mostly really

1093
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 4: beating the crap out of themselves and convinced I'm a

1094
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 4: lot more upset and resentful than I am. I told

1095
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 4: them they can't pull emotionally away, or I'll leave because

1096
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 4: I can't cope with this by myself. The reason this

1097
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 4: allegedly happened is that I was really mentally eft up

1098
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 4: for a solid three months, like to the point I

1099
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 4: might have needed to check myself into a hospital type

1100
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 4: of ft up. They had a pretty bad thing happened

1101
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 4: some months prior and had been withdrawn ever since. So

1102
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 4: when something happened to me, the lack of emotional support,

1103
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 4: which wasn't great before that made me completely lose my crap,

1104
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 4: I was fully convinced that they were going to leave me,

1105
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 4: so I asked them about why they were being so distant,

1106
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 4: begged them to stop. In their estimation, this actually meant

1107
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 4: I was going to leave. So they took an account

1108
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 4: that they had prior to the marriage and invested it

1109
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 4: with the goal of making it easier for us to

1110
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 4: split without either losing the house. Their parents regularly do

1111
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 4: this because they're very distant and hate each each other,

1112
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,720
Speaker 4: so the concept of having an escape plant isn't alien

1113
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 4: to them, but it is to me. If I'm gonna

1114
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 4: leave I don't talk about it. I go to an attorney.

1115
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 4: They've asked my permission to loan money to people they

1116
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 4: told me were good for it. They weren't before. They

1117
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 4: have a habit of being gullible. When we met, the

1118
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 4: in laws wanted me to buy in to an MLM,

1119
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 4: and I had to explain to my spouse that if

1120
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 4: they talk about it at the wedding, I will punt

1121
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,399
Speaker 4: them out. They've just always been the type to think

1122
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 4: the best of people. The friend they had been talking

1123
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 4: to had been buttering them up for months. They know

1124
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 4: I post a lot online, so I guess they assumed

1125
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,919
Speaker 4: it was safe. We met online too. I believe they're

1126
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 4: also very sorry. The day after they fessed up, they

1127
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:40,439
Speaker 4: called my parents and came clean. Oh, my dad and mom.

1128
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 4: It was one hundred percent on them and not on

1129
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 4: me at all. I assume someone avoiding responsibility wouldn't do that.

1130
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1131
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 4: We've never had marital issues, never thought i'd be in

1132
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 4: a situation like this. It's hard to know what is normal.

1133
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 4: There is a small update though, but oh boy, any thoughts.

1134
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 3: I think the only path forward is to monetize this

1135
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 3: in some sort of reac yeah, say yeah, we lost

1136
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 3: all of our money in a scam and we're trying

1137
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 3: to stay together. Who wants to turn it into a show? Please?

1138
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 4: Two days from og post. They've filed reports with pretty

1139
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 4: much every federal agency now, and we have a meeting

1140
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 4: with the detective for our city this weekend. I've looked

1141
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 4: into the messages. It's just friendly things, like memes commiserating

1142
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 4: about work in politics and book recommendations. I don't know

1143
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 4: if it's worse or better that my spouse is so

1144
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 4: gullible as to invest with a friend, rather than the

1145
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 4: scammer having to feign romantic interest to get them roped in.

1146
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 4: There was very little in there about keeping it a secret.

1147
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 4: They didn't really discuss that at all or entice my

1148
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,240
Speaker 4: spouse to be duplicitous. It was more like my spouse

1149
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 4: would say that my spouse has gone through a rough time,

1150
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,280
Speaker 4: and they would talk about that occasionally. I'm having trouble

1151
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 4: with the fact that the secrecy was almost perfunctory, and

1152
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,919
Speaker 4: little to no effort was even put into thinking about

1153
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 4: what my spouse was doing or why and if I

1154
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 4: should be circled in. There doesn't appear to be malice

1155
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,360
Speaker 4: in any of the statements about me, just genuine worry,

1156
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 4: but then they kept it from me, almost out of reflex.

1157
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 4: It's a puzzle, and it seems to point to something

1158
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 4: in my spouse's default state that needs to be changed,

1159
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,359
Speaker 4: which is what we're working on in therapy. And there

1160
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 4: is a second update six months later, anyway, because so

1161
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 4: many of you told me that it helped you when

1162
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 4: I was so open about what happened when my spouse

1163
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 4: lost our life savings in a pig slaughtering scam upwards

1164
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 4: of five hundred thousand dollars, including loans taken out for

1165
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 4: the scam fees to withdraw the fake proceeds of the investment.

1166
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 4: I figure it may help some people to hear some updates.

1167
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,920
Speaker 4: First and foremost, we are still married and together and

1168
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 4: planning a vacation to celebrate a milestone anniversary later this year.

1169
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 4: Of course, the trip is less grand than I envisioned

1170
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 4: for obvious reasons.

1171
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're just gonna walk ye in the street.

1172
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, perhaps tmi. But we also resumed having spicy sleep

1173
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 4: and behaving like a normal married couple. Our family planning,

1174
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 4: once derailed, is also back on track. The spouse had

1175
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 4: libido problems from the negative self worth, but pushed through

1176
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 4: it refused to punish myself with a passed away bedroom. Second,

1177
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 4: my spouse was not cheating emotionally or physically. We have

1178
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 4: decided to call what happened financial infidelity because of the

1179
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 4: lack of disclosure, even if it was not outright lying.

1180
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 4: I made my spouse recover all of the messages between

1181
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,440
Speaker 4: them and the person that was the bait for the scam.

1182
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 4: It was honestly a little funny how thick my spouse

1183
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 4: was the bait person. The pictures were real, but the

1184
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 4: messages were AI was obviously trying to flirt on several occasions,

1185
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 4: but it went right over my spouse's head, and they

1186
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 4: continued to say nice things about me.

1187
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 2: This was a relief to see.

1188
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 4: I would have never stayed if the scam involved cheating,

1189
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 4: even if it was just messages or bad mouthing me

1190
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 4: in any way, my spouse was completely taken in by

1191
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 4: overtures of platonic friendship and AI aided conversations of shared interests.

1192
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 4: This naivete is an issue from a very sheltered religious

1193
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 4: upbringing and par for the course for my spouse, which

1194
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 4: brings me to the Third thing, we have separated finances.

1195
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 4: Every cent that comes out of our joint account is

1196
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 4: shared in screen. We also separated all finances that are

1197
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 4: not for shared expenses, like utilities and the house. We

1198
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 4: agree to execute a post nuptial agreement that acknowledges all

1199
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 4: debts associated with the scam. My spouse borrowed money from

1200
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 4: their family for the fake fees are my spouse's sole

1201
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 4: and separate property. All equity in the house is mine

1202
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 4: except that which exceeds the amount my spouse wasted from

1203
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 4: the community, i e. All of our real estate proceeds

1204
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,439
Speaker 4: and retirement account and then some. The figure is large

1205
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 4: enough that our house's sale would have to hit over

1206
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 4: a million before my spouse is entitled to anything. Basically,

1207
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 4: if we divorce, I'm off the hook for everything, and

1208
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 4: my spouse owes me a hefty sum in perpetuity, which

1209
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 4: I can execute via a judgment to garnish wages. Fourth,

1210
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 4: we have not come to an agreement on the loans

1211
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 4: to my spouse's family. I refuse to pay them off,

1212
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 4: not one cent, because the in laws all participated in

1213
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 4: this scam without once checking in with me to see

1214
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 4: if it was okay that they were funneling around hundreds

1215
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 4: of thousands of dollars. They have not in insisted they

1216
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 4: be repaid.

1217
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 3: Yet. Yeah, that's definitely a Yet what do you say

1218
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 3: about that they're coming for that money.

1219
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, at some point, at some point.

1220
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 3: And I don't think you should have to pay any

1221
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 3: of it because it was their money and they gave

1222
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 3: it to your spouse, and your spouse and them all

1223
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 3: got scam.

1224
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 4: That was my condition to staying in the marriage. I'm

1225
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 4: not chaining myself to people with an IOU who participated

1226
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 4: in the breach of trust. The spouse agreed. I think

1227
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 4: my spouse wants to wear me down eventually, but it's

1228
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 4: not gonna happen. I'm far more stubborn than them. I

1229
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 4: can tell they're already halfway resigned to disappointing their family.

1230
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 4: I'm not sorry they made a stupid investment. I did not.

1231
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 4: They can eat the loss. I already ate far more

1232
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 4: loss than they did lost for all. Get it while

1233
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 4: it's hot. Fifth, the overwhelming guilt my spouse feels on

1234
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 4: a daily or weekly basis is a huge bummer. So

1235
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 4: we've been in couples therapy. The self flagellation is annoying,

1236
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 4: and I can basically forget the scam happened until they throw.

1237
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 3: A pity party.

1238
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 4: I'm fine with them feeling bad, but the increasingly less

1239
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 4: frequent doldrums also punish me, so we're working on it.

1240
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 4: I also have massive trust issues that were stirred up

1241
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 4: from the fallout. No shock there. Another couple in our

1242
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,800
Speaker 4: orbit went through something similar, concealed business debts and actually

1243
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 4: did break up, which spooked my spouse considerably. So far,

1244
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,920
Speaker 4: there have been no relapses, and our friend group has

1245
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,919
Speaker 4: been on my side helping us get our lives back

1246
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 4: on track. Sixth and on to the most positive news.

1247
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 4: I got a massive race which has dug us out

1248
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 4: of the hole much faster than I thought. Last week,

1249
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 4: our household net worth went positive again. This was very

1250
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 4: exciting and we went out to celebrate. It pleases me

1251
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 4: how fortunate we are that not a lot about our

1252
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 4: daily existence changed despite how much money we lost. I

1253
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 4: still have days where I'm mad and genuinely uncharitable, but

1254
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 4: they come less frequently with time. My earning potential is

1255
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 4: very good, and so is my spouse's. I'm making them

1256
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 4: do more work to get additional certifications for their career.

1257
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 4: In ten years, I think we'll look back at this

1258
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 4: and see it as a speed bump rather than a mountain.

1259
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 4: My own family has been a rock through this. My

1260
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 4: father really stepped up and has been so support emotionally.

1261
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:03,560
Speaker 4: He has been calling my spouse and kindled a fairly

1262
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:06,480
Speaker 4: close child parent like relationship with them to remind them

1263
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 4: that they're part of the family. This has been very

1264
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 4: positive for me because this happened due to my spouse

1265
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 4: being naive, having issues with self doubt, and not having

1266
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 4: a good emotionally supportive relationship with their parents. So the

1267
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 4: doldrums that annoy me are more fleeting the more my

1268
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 4: father bonds with my spouse and knocks them out of

1269
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 4: a funk. The spouse's family are emotionally stunted and extremely naive,

1270
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 4: as you may have guessed, so talking to my father

1271
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 4: has been good for my spouse. Funny enough, we also

1272
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 4: uncovered a sordid family history of big financial losses. My

1273
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 4: father's wife were not blood related, lost about half of

1274
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 4: what we did through bad investments in the early two thousands.

1275
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 4: Apparently there was talk of divorce and bankruptcy at the time,

1276
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 4: but they stayed together and like us, they made too

1277
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 4: much to go bankrupt. That's been a bit of a bummer.

1278
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 4: But my credit score thanks me for not declaring bankruptcy. Yeah,

1279
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 4: I was like, don't do that because your credit score

1280
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 4: is you know, if it's still good. That's super important

1281
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 4: to keep good. Also, my own my grandparents apparently lost

1282
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 4: close to ten million dollars in the savings and loan scandals.

1283
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,000
Speaker 4: Goes to show you how many people get caught in

1284
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 4: these traps. On the law enforcement front, nothing has happened.

1285
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 4: Trump ripping apart the DOJ and FBI means nobody in

1286
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 4: the federal government has done anything, although we did get

1287
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 4: a call from a secret service guy that went nowhere.

1288
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,120
Speaker 4: I made the spouse report the scam everywhere, no matter

1289
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 4: how much I could tell it pain them. To relieve

1290
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 4: their own foolishness. Local police track the wallets to in

1291
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 4: address in Africa, so we're basically sol the money is gone,

1292
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 4: as I suspected. They occasionally still I am the spouse

1293
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 4: looking for more money, and we dutifully forward the information

1294
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 4: to law enforcement. I think I will look into getting

1295
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 4: a federal judgment recorded and on file. With what little

1296
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 4: we know about this person and the aliases at least

1297
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 4: before the statute of limitations for fraud runs. I know

1298
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,880
Speaker 4: it's probably futile, but for this amount of money, even

1299
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 4: a point zero one percent chance of getting anything back

1300
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 4: is worth it, even for the filing fees. I just

1301
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:01,960
Speaker 4: want a public record of this evil person did to us.

1302
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 4: That's what's been going on. I wouldn't call it a

1303
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 4: happy ending, but I didn't blow up my life, and

1304
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 4: we have not lost the house, any cars or anything

1305
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 4: like that. Nobody has done anything to themselves either. I

1306
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 4: hope that those of you that have been taken by

1307
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 4: such scams or will be taken can gain some measure

1308
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 4: of peace knowing that there is a way out of

1309
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 4: this sort of betrayal and financial ruination. Many thanks for

1310
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:25,640
Speaker 4: your kind words, even the ones that were not kind

1311
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 4: towards my spouse. I needed space to be angry, hurt, confused,

1312
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 4: and uncharitable and read it provided what a story.

1313
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 3: I think you're very charitable for even so charitable relationship,

1314
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 3: So charitable best that's charitable in and of itself.

1315
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 4: Wowee