WEBVTT - The One Thing You Should Never Do Before Putting That Gift Under The Tree 0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:05.200 Hey, folks, we are getting closer and closer to Christmas Day, 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:10.639 and whatever you do, do not buy another Christmas gift 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.880 until you hear from this guy, our guest today, Ropes. 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:17.840 We had him on with our partners at Yahoo. They 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:20.720 were great to find him, and we loved him so 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:22.400 much and we had to get him back and we 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:24.560 had to get him on our podcast. He's that good, 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:25.040 that's right. 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:28.120 We did a whole column on Yahoo Life in the 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:32.800 section there about gift giving and are we doing it right? 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.520 We were basically asking Julian if we were doing things 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:38.160 the right way. And I know a lot of people 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:41.520 have questions this time of year about who they should 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.240 give gifts to, well, type of gifts they should give, 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.960 how much should they spend. There are a litany of questions, 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.120 and Julian Give has all the answer. 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:50.320 Yes. 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:53.440 Then, Julian Give is the social professor at West Virginia. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:58.080 He actually studies consumer protection consumer excuse me, consumer behavior, 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:01.360 but for the purposes of this you all, he actually 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:06.720 quite literally studies gift giving. So Professor Give is his name, 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.600 who studies gift giving. Let's start off the top here. 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.400 As we're talking to you, we're just a couple of 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.360 weeks away from Christmas. As we get closer and closer 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.039 to Christmas and people run out of time, what mustake? 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.440 What gift buying mistake? Do you see them making a lot? 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.720 Yeah? So thanks, first of all, thank you guys for 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:26.959 you know, having me on. And I think the number 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:30.280 one thing is I'm trying to give yourself enough time. 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.920 So I think we know a lot of research and 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:36.120 different areas, not just gift giving, but other other areas 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.399 where consumer is just over and over, we kind of 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.520 fail to give ourselves enough times when it comes to 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:44.959 you know, gift giving or other types of tasks or 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:47.400 whatever it may be. And I think gift giving is 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:50.400 when there's especially hard tasks that we're faced with as consumers, 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.600 right because we have, you know, sometimes dozens of recipients 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:55.120 that we have to give gifts too. So I think 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.640 starting early, and in this case right, probably starting very 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:01.080 in the next couple of days if you haven't already, 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:03.000 because if you don't, it's just going to be way 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:04.720 too challenging of a pass for you. 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:09.280 Well, yeah, what happens when we're procrastinators. Look, I used 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:11.600 to work when I was in high school and college. 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:15.040 I worked at Macy's and I would see on Christmas 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:19.120 Eve all of these I'm sorry, mostly men running in 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:21.880 and I happened to work in the lingerie department, and 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:26.040 they would just be grabbing anything and everything. And then 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.760 the next day after Christmas, I would see all their 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.959 wives in the return line saying he thought I would 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.200 wear this or that I would want this. What does 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:36.880 the biggest mistake people make when they wait until the 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:37.680 last minute? 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:41.000 Yeah, so funny enough, there's actually research showing that men, 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.960 we do, tend to start our holiday shopping later than 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.000 women than will women do. So maybe so you know 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.240 the evidence for it right right in your own experience, right, 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:51.680 And so I think I think the biggest thing, right 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:53.640 is that when you're when you're starting so late, it 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:55.799 just makes it challenging to really hit that home run 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:57.440 of a gift, right. You have to kind of you 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.200 have to go for these sort of just you know, 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.560 kind of standard items, right, gift cards or just random 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.560 you know, clothing that may not be a good match 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:06.960 or whatever, right, and it kind of it kind of 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.440 takes away the opportunity for you to really give those 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.400 sort of heartfelt you know, sentimental or you know experiential 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.920 gifts you know that are also often great, right, Sometimes 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:18.400 gifts are required just the planning and thought ahead of 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.800 time when you're starting so lait. It just it's just 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.880 too hard to hit on those for for all your 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:25.280 different recipients you might have. 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.000 Okay, sounds like you're screwed. Yeah, the later you make 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:32.080 so as it gets later, here's another question, who should 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.880 be on your list of recipients? That's always a question. 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:39.480 Do I get a gift for my niece's boyfriend that 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:41.680 she's been with for eight months? Kind of a thing? 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.920 How do you determine who gets a gift? 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.400 Yeah, so it's it's it's not a sort of you know, 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:52.440 concrete answer here, right, but I think at minimum, right, 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:54.720 come up with whoever is going to be giving you 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.680 a gift? Right, so that way you're not stuck in 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.360 that awkward position where you receive a gift and don't 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.440 have anything give back. In fact, I've researched showing that 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.440 that's one of those situations that make just feel very 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:08.520 very uncomfortable, unsurprisingly right as recipient from people, people do that. 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:10.840 So I would suggest, you know, start off making your 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.000 own list, and then also in addition to that just 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:15.000 be thinking about it. Okay, well, who am I going 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.080 to be seeing this time of year that might be 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.599 giving me one? Right? And it's funny, you know, actually 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.600 in talking to people, you learned and sometimes people are 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:25.880 like strategically like, oh well, I'm not gonna hang out 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:27.800 with my cousin between now and Christmas. That way, I'm 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.880 not on the whole give them give them a gift. 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:34.360 So it's it's a it's a delicate dance, but you know, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:36.400 with some strategic planning, you know, hopefully you can do 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:37.040 a good job. 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:40.719 Julian, I'm going to admit something here, Especially when I 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.080 worked in an office and I was never sure who 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.320 was going to bring me a gift, I actually brought 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:49.599 extra gifts wrapped and just in case that happened, I 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:53.760 had a candle or a bottle of wine or something that. 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:55.120 I could say, here's your rift. 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:59.279 Is that wrong to prepare? And does that feel unthoughtful? 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:01.760 I really was just trying to save face and not 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:03.200 be embarrassed in those moments. 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.800 Yeah, that's a great, great little antidote, And funny enough, 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:08.560 that's called gifting from the closet. I don't know if 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:11.680 you've heard the expression before. But people in fact, people 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:14.000 at work, it's common people have just like a drawer 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.320 where they have little things dashed away or at home. 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:18.760 The way where it comes from is because people literally 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:20.520 have a closet where at the top they just have 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:22.880 you know, candles and you know, I don't know, bottles 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:24.839 of wine, whatever. It may be that way that you 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:26.920 can have, you know, to give to what, you know, 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:28.640 if they find themselves in that kind of situation. I 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:30.840 don't think there are anything wrong with it, right because 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:34.040 I think with those types of recipients, right, there's a 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:36.400 different level of expectations. It's not like it's with your 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:38.440 you know, if you're doing that with your significant other, 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.160 maybe it's not the best thing, right, But if you're 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:42.159 doing it with you know, a co worker, maybe you 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:43.840 don't know all that well or you know, you weren't 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.600 expecting a gift from them. I think that's perfectly fine, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.040 right because you're still kind of, you know, setting back 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.120 that message like, hey, I do care about you know, 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:53.160 here's here's a little token of my appreciation. 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.840 You give folks advice on a budget. But later it 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.800 gets it seems like we'd be more prone to spin, 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.320 to overspin because we're desperate. But what is some advice 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:04.560 on budget at this late hour. 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:09.480 Yeah, so you know it's interesting certainly, you know, with 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.080 gift giving. One of the sort of I would say 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:15.440 less good things about it is that we put so 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.760 much pressure on ourselves that every year a lot of 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.039 consumers even go into debt, like you accumulate lots of 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:22.680 you know, credit card debt, which we know, you know, 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:24.880 high interest debt, right, So it's not not the best 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:26.640 thing in the world. I think part of the reason 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:28.120 is just because, like I said, you know, we put 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.760 so much pressure on ourselves to think that we have 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:33.000 to do give the best thing possible to every single person, 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.279 the most expensive thing, you know, we have to you know, 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:38.320 just just kind of you know, bumbar people with gifts. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.240 And the good news is is that the research is 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:45.359 pretty adamant and showing that for gift givers, you know, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:48.039 the prices of the gifts, we think it matters quite 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:50.640 a lot, but on the recipient side it doesn't matter 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.080 nearly as much as get givers anticipated. So if you 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:55.080 think about for gift givers, it's kind of like a 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:57.400 like a line upwards where we think the more money 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:59.960 we spend, the better the gift is. But for recipient, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.880 you know, they're generally more appreciative kind of regardless of 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.560 the spending on the gift and the recipients, you know, 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:08.359 it does seem more important to them, just sort of 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:11.320 this idea of feeling appreciated, feeling like thought was put 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.280 into gift, you know, that kind of thing. So I 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.320 would suggest, you know, to gift givers out there, you know, 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:17.920 don't always kind of think you have to be, you know, 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:22.040 buying all these luxury products for others. Right, You're probably 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:23.920 probably don't need to be doing nearly as much as 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:24.840 that as you might think. 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.200 I'm actually curious if that can backfire, if you can 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.960 spend too much on a gift and make something that 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.680 you intended to be beautiful awkward. 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.160 Yeah, one hundred percent. In fact, that there's even research 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.920 on this exact thing, so that like, hey, whenever you 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.880 put a lot of money into into a gift, people 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.720 sometimes especially for like recipients who like where it can 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.920 be like awkward. Right, People feel like Okay, they're uncomfortable, like, well, 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.560 why is this person doing this? Like this is a 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:54.880 little too much, right, So certainly that's that's definitely a consideration. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:56.840 But it's one of those where whereas gift givers, I 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.760 think sometimes you know, for better for work, if we 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:02.000 don't realize it, right, we just think, oh my gosh, 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:03.960 like they're gonna love the you know, these I don't 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:05.600 know this rolex or whatever you know, and may be 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.880 you know, and you don't realize just how uncomfortable it is, 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.880 you know, especially for recipients, right, who might not have 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.040 the means to, you know, at any point kind of 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.280 reciprocate that kind of gift back, right. And another place 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.040 where this pops up a lot. Actually, one of the 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:21.800 papers was on in dating relationships, so in early stage relationships, 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:25.360 whenever this happens and the press liked, oh wow, well 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:28.760 this is a little bit weird, you know. So yeah, 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.000 that's that's that's a really good point. The overall, Okay, 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:32.840 on on the gifts. 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:37.600 People give experiences, they give sentimental gifts, they give people 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:40.719 exactly what they ask for, They give cash, they give 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:45.200 gift cards. What is it in your research that you find, Professor, 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:49.200 givvey are the most satisfying gifts that people receive. 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.440 Yeah, so definitely a tricky question. If I had to 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.000 pick a couple of you know, a couple of answers. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.480 So first, I think the research just not gift giving, 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.600 but in all of kind of consumer research, it's pretty 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:08.000 pretty conclusive suggesting that experiences do generally bring more happiness 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.640 to to people than than tangible items. 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:10.800 Right. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.920 And there's there's research, like I said, and gift giving 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.040 it shows the same exact thing. We're basically as recipient. 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.560 You know, when you whenever you receive that experience, you 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.640 kind of like it more than givers anticipate and brings 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:25.520 you closer to gift givers. Right. And you know, one 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:27.199 of one of the things about experiences is that they 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.520 are kind of in the minority when it comes to gifts, right, 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.280 because most of the gifts we're giving this time there 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:33.720 are more tangible items. But I think, you know, if 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:35.520 if we're going to follow the advice of you know, 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:39.360 consumer behavior, consumer psychology, and gift giving psychology, it does 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:42.480 suggest that experiences on average are maybe you know, a 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:45.839 bigger hit than uh, the more tangible items. And then 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:48.200 the second gift type of gift, and this is the 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.240 one I previously referred you guys as kind of the 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.640 cheat code, is the sentimental gifts because that's another one 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:57.160 where they're they're not given nearly nearly nearly as often 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.120 as kind of more superficial, kind of tangible, prefer and 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:03.520 matching gifts, but when we give them their home runs, 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:06.040 And like I had to explained previously, like the nice 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.360 thing about sentimental items is that whenever you receive one, 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.040 your happiness with it stays kind of flat or increases 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.360 over time. It doesn't decrease like our like our enjoyment 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.120 with you know, more superficial items like a cell phone 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.360 or you know, a treadmill or whatever it may be. 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:22.760 So I think sentimental gifts are a great one, and 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:24.640 it's one of those things when I try to convey 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.400 the point I tell everyone like, Okay, well, think about 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.160 some of the best gifts you've ever received, right, which 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:29.880 are the ones that really kind of almost you know, 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.520 make you cry at times? Right, Like, those are more 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.360 often than not sentinal gifts. And the last thing, you know, 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.360 this is kind of just a broad sort of blanket idea, 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:41.760 but I really think that recipients, at the end of 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.559 the day, they just want to feel cared for, right, 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.360 So any kind of gift that can show that, like, like, hey, 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:48.480 I care for you, I appreciate you. I'm signaling that 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:50.800 I value you, Like those are those are always going 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:52.640 to be good. You know, that could be a sentimental gift. 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.280 It could just be something show an effort. It could 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.880 be started showing that's hey, you know you know TJ 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:00.160 mentioned this. You know these these running shoes. It was 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.000 a few months ago when we were walking through the mall. 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.560 And look now I surprise them with them, right, Just 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:07.200 some something along those lines. So anything that just shows 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:09.920 just hey, I care, I appreciate you. I think those 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.920 are always going to be his. So just three overarching 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.480 no ideas. But at the same time, I will also 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:17.280 note there is a lot of you know, kind of 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:20.320 heterogeneity in people, right we I know, people are different, 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:22.600 so some things are better for others than others. And 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.400 in fact, you know, when I tell my sister about 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.360 the sentimental gift thing, she's like, oh, no, just give 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:27.760 me the cash, Like I don't, I don't want I 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:31.480 don't want anything sentiment. So there's differences across people, right. 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:33.560 So that's that's a one hundred percent to put that 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:34.200 out there too. 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:37.200 Yes, And it would be wonderful if we could all 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:39.480 be mind readers and know what people want and what 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:43.199 they don't want. Is it okay to ask someone what 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.160 they want for a holiday or is that putting the 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.160 onus on them now to come up with your gift idea. 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:50.520 What do you say about that? 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:55.000 Yeah, that that is an interesting point, and I think 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.520 sometimes it is. It feels like it's even harder right 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.240 to come up with ideas that we for things we 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:03.080 want ourselves than what for further people, right, And so 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.120 it definitely is putting a little bit of an onus 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:06.960 on on others. But I'll tell you the good news 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.960 is that the research does suggest that these things that 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:13.640 are explicitly requested are generally appreciated more than things that 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.880 that aren't requested, right, And that kind of makes sense 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:17.920 because you think when you were when you'd ask people, hey, 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:19.520 what do you want, they tell you, Hey, I want 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.160 this exact pair of headphones. You go and get them. 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.320 They're gonna be they're gonna be pretty happy as opposed 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.319 to you kind of having to have to guess at it. Right. 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.000 So I would say that's sort of the kind of 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:30.760 the good news behind it. But you are, you know, 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.520 putting a little bit more effort on their part. 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:44.679 Right, I know sometimes you mentioned your sister, and a 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.240 lot of people, especially younger people, might love to have 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.480 some cash. But what is your take or does the 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.400 research tell you the type of gifts that bring the 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.440 least satisfaction? Is there is there research on that? Essentially, 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.240 I'm asking what should we avoid giving people? 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.720 Okay, yeah, this is this is an interesting one. So 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.960 what I'll say is that people, you know, a broader 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.280 sort of theme that we're seeing in the literature is 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:13.760 in this the literarum gift giving. I should say is 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:18.079 that as recipients, where we often like gifts that long 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.000 term after the exchange, right, they bring us happiness and 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.439 utility and enjoyment. But as gift givers, oftentimes we kind 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.400 of prefer to give things that are better sort of 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.960 in the moment, right like that immediately right when they 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.240 open the gift, which that doesn't always map on to 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.640 what's the best gift in the long run. So I'll 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.480 tell people is like, look, if something is great in 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:38.480 the moment but kind of horrible down the road, like 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:40.719 it's not gonna make the best the best gift, right, 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.520 So something like you know, think about like a chocolate 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.520 fondo found in right like that is like, Okay, in 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.360 the moment, it might have a fun little gift, right, 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.320 but like, at the end of the day, how often 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.760 are you gonna end up using that thing? Right? And 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.280 so just this this and I hope I'm not you know, 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:58.560 touching on gifts, you guys are, but I think we've 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:01.480 all right, We've all received these things that that are 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.120 maybe like you know, gag gifts or what you know, 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.040 things that are kind of fun at the moment they 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:06.240 make for it, but then at the end day it's like, 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:07.800 all right, well, this is kind of like I'm not 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:11.880 going to enough ever using this thing. So yes, that 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:12.560 makes sense. 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.520 And speaking of the moment when someone opens a gift, 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:19.320 how important is This might sound silly, but gift wrapping 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:23.520 does How much more special can someone feel if you 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:25.320 do a really good job wrapping the gift or if 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:27.800 you just hand it to them in a brown paper bag? 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.880 How much has there is the research on how that 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:35.800 affects the experience of getting or receiving a gift. 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.080 So I'm going to tell you guys what the finding show. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.040 And I think you're going to be shocked, because I 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:42.120 was shocked, clanker, this is not my research this is 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.400 other other people's research. But what they did was they 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:47.960 looked at how neat you wrap a present, right, do 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.520 you wrap it very neatly or do you sloppily wrap it? 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.600 And what they find is that whenever it's sloply wrapped, 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.720 you actually like the item more. And right, it's kind 0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:00.120 of right, what right? Like I agree? Right? And so 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.800 what is the sort of psychology behind that is? Because 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:07.000 whenever something comes like neatly packaged, right, what that ends 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:09.840 up doing is it raises your expectations. She's think, oh wow, 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:11.760 this like look at these ribbit look at how nice 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:16.520 and clean everything is. But then whenever it's just you know, 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.760 kind of kind of thrown together, you're kind of okay, 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.640 this is going to be a piece of chunk like whatever. 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.440 Then you open it up and you see, oh wow, 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:24.760 this is like this you know, this brand of cologne 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.280 that I love, right, and that So that's that's you 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:30.880 know what the resers research on that, and uh yeah, 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.560 that's that's what it's what it shows. 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:35.320 That makes so much sense though, now that you say 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:39.920 it about expectations, because yes, sometimes the most perfectly wrapped 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.920 gifts coming from like I don't know, sax fifth Avenue. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:44.080 It's like a key chain. 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.120 You're like, oh wow, it looked like it was going 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:47.840 to be something so much better. 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.320 That's that I use that trick when I cook, Julian, 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.920 I make a very good presentation. 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.600 But that doesn't speak to it, like in terms of 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:01.040 you think about that is so funny. The expectations create 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:03.680 a different result when you open the present. 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:08.640 Last couple here for folks in relationships, what is there 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.640 a heightened sense I guess for men and women whoever's 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:15.760 in a relationship out there advice for because it's always stressful, 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.800 How do you buy for that person in your life? 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.640 What have you been able to see and study and 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:23.560 know that could help people who are out there still 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:25.200 scrambling to get something for their love. 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.760 Yeah, so I think kind of as we touched on earlier, right, 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.800 there's sort of different relationship stages, so that's obviously important 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.760 to sort of sort of take into account. And I 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:38.760 would say, you know, it feels like it feels like 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:42.200 romantic relationships is like that one. And then when people 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.360 talk about like in laws or the two where people 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.840 are like, okay, this is where things are getting real. 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.400 It's different than you know, giving my best friends. So 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:51.680 I would say, you know, for you for your relationship, right, 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.200 just I mean, you know your partner better than anyone, right. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.120 That's that's the biggest thing, is like, and when you 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.800 talk to these to these couples, what you kind of 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:02.200 find is that people completely different strategies, you know, all 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.400 sorts of differ people have different strategies. Some people it's okay, 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:06.439 tell me what you want, they send a list, Person's 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.000 perfectly happy. Others it's like no, no, no, I want 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:10.600 you to know and you should know me. And if 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:12.639 you get me this these socks and I one of 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.960 these ones, like that's gonna you know, that's like a 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.640 deal breaker. Right. So I'd say, you know your partner, 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.119 you should have an idea as to what's going to 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.800 work for them, right, and just just follow that strategy 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.200 and you know, hopefully it would be good to go. 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:28.480 I love that. 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:32.920 And in terms of just figuring out the in laws, 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:35.960 do you have any strategies or family members that you 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:39.600 might not know that well, how do you go about 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.400 picking a gift for them? 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:42.080 Yeah? 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.520 One strategy that people tend to employ these situations is 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.560 they use kind of like third parties to help them out, right, expies. Right. 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.360 So if you don't know your in laws that well, 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:53.200 you talk to your partners say okay, what do I 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.520 get your brother or your mom or whoever? Right? And 0:17:55.560 --> 0:18:00.239 that's usually a pretty pretty pretty successful successful one. So 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.000 I would say that's that's one more time that one. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:03.280 That's it? 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:03.479 Right? 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.520 It works well because you're you're in laws, don't you're 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.919 not asking them. And what's also nice about this is 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:09.480