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Speaker 1: This is it.

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Speaker 2: You only get one round of this at least in

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Speaker 2: this body, you know, like, yeah, man, how do I

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Speaker 2: do this life?

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Speaker 1: A little bit? Like better?

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Speaker 2: Easier, softer, funner, funnier, whatever it is that week that

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Speaker 2: you're focusing on, right, And I do think like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, am I getta get my period? Like why

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Speaker 2: am I like on the verge of crying again?

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Speaker 1: Annoying?

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Speaker 2: But like I do, I don't know what you're putting

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Speaker 2: me on the verge?

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Speaker 1: More better, more and better A little bit more better, more.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to more Better a podcast where we stop pretending

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Speaker 1: to have it all together and embrace the journey of

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Speaker 1: becoming a little more better every day, or at least

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Speaker 1: trying to. That's most promarow and that is Sephanie Beatrice

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Speaker 1: and Welcome Well More a Better Podcast. Final episode.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts have seasons now, and in this season, this is

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Speaker 2: our last one.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, how are you, Melissa, I'm doing I'm doing good.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing good. I'm you know, thinking about how we've

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Speaker 1: done a whole season of this and it's been really fun.

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Speaker 1: I've enjoyed uh selfishly for me, it's been really great

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Speaker 1: for me to get to see you and hear your

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Speaker 1: voice and see your face and get friend time, especially

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Speaker 1: while I've been in Atlanta being isolated and like living

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Speaker 1: in my little show bubble, and like, at least I

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Speaker 1: get to see Stephanie in Toronto. That's how I was

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Speaker 1: in Toronto.

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, I get some time to like

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Speaker 2: talk to Melissa today, which is nice.

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Speaker 1: You know, like I agree, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've gotten to like know you a

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Speaker 1: little more better. It seems like been a nice little

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Speaker 1: added bonus to this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I knowed pretty well beforehand, though I knew

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Speaker 2: everything about you, and there have been some surprises.

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Speaker 1: There were let me see if there were any surprises

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: Actually, I think, you know, not to bring it back

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Speaker 2: to the drunk drawer, but I do think the junk drawer.

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Speaker 1: Was a surprise.

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Speaker 2: I think that was a deep surprise for me. I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, no.

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Speaker 1: Same a revelation. It was. I was like, oh, we

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Speaker 1: haven't strongly disagreed about something. It truly felt like I

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Speaker 1: was like, Wow, I've seen into something inside her deep

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Speaker 1: dark like secret place, and I don't like it. It's

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Speaker 1: not organized and I want to empty it out and

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Speaker 1: help her. But I would never I would never do

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Speaker 1: that to you. I mean, I think we just have

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Speaker 1: keep different definitions of organization.

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Speaker 2: I think you're right, and it's it's there's room for

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Speaker 2: everyone more better. Today's episode is very very special because

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Speaker 2: it is the final episode of season one Bibitty Boot

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Speaker 2: Boot Boop. We've done a lot of episodes, uh, I think,

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Speaker 2: like in terms of the actual pod though, I think

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Speaker 2: my favorite episode episode was probably the one that we

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Speaker 2: did with Ril when we.

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Speaker 1: Had I loved that one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I really like that one. And I've used tip

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Speaker 2: like she remembers how she was like, you should keep

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Speaker 2: a measuring tape in your person. That way, when you're

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Speaker 2: vintage shopping, you can thrift shopping or whatever or take

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Speaker 2: your actual measurements with a little measuring tape and then

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Speaker 2: you know if something's going to fit you or not

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Speaker 2: and you can order offline. I ordered two pairs of

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Speaker 2: vintage genes for myself for my birthday based on measurement alone,

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Speaker 2: and they were both two totally different sizes, same brand.

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Speaker 2: They were like vintage Levi's, same brand, two totally different sizes.

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Speaker 2: Both of them feit like the glove was. I still

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Speaker 2: think about that all the time carry the I carry

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Speaker 2: the tape measure in my person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I loved that one. There were so many good tips. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I really loved the wine episode we did because that

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Speaker 1: was great. It was so great, It was so fun

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Speaker 1: and I did feel smart. Yeah, I did feel smart

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Speaker 1: during it. I was I was like, well, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: more wine smart than I thought I was. But she

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Speaker 1: gave really great tips, particularly about like shopping for wine,

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Speaker 1: and also we found out what wine goes with hot cheetos,

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Speaker 1: and that is just information everyone should have for the

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Speaker 1: rest of their life. I don't remember what it was now,

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Speaker 1: but I have that episode that I go back and

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Speaker 1: have to listen to that episode and find that part.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, you know what. I did love listeners. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I want to take a moment to say thank you

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Speaker 1: for all the EDM remixes of me saying Zato a schism,

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Speaker 1: because they made my fucking day and I was really happy.

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Speaker 1: And wait, we're just gonna uh, We're just gonna pause

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Speaker 1: the pod for a second to play some of them.

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Speaker 1: Sato masochism, Sato wow. Great, thank you so much, thank

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Speaker 1: you for indulging me. Thank you. Wow. Uh I let's

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Speaker 1: see what else. Today.

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Speaker 2: Oh I really loved the I mean, this is absolutely selfish,

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Speaker 2: but I loved the episode where we talked. This is

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Speaker 2: very recent when we talked about reality television.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love reality TV. It just really makes

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Speaker 1: me so well. I learned of more reality TV than

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Speaker 1: I than you thought I did. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So to celebrate the end of the season, we are

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Speaker 2: dedicating the last two episodes to you. If you listen

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Speaker 2: to the one before this, you heard a lot of

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Speaker 2: listener letters and some questions, and thank you again for

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Speaker 2: your emails and your positive reviews, positive reviews, and for

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Speaker 2: following on Instagram and TikTok and all the things. So

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Speaker 2: we are continuing today with our listener mail bag extrava

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Speaker 2: Ganzo Banonza from the last episode. We're going to answer

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Speaker 2: some questions and read some emails. So let's see. This

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Speaker 2: is an email from Grace him. My name's Grace, and

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Speaker 2: I've recently started listening to your pod. Absolutely adore. It

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Speaker 2: makes me feel so human in who I am and

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Speaker 2: my life. That's really sweet. I should keep the commentary

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Speaker 2: to myself. Okay, You've taught me so much on so

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Speaker 2: many different topics, and I feel a lot more better

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Speaker 2: knowing than other people go through similar experiences that I have.

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Speaker 2: You to have a knack for making everyone feel more

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Speaker 2: better just by talking about your experiences. I just finished

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Speaker 2: listening episode the episode I have a lot of power

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Speaker 2: in my group chats, and it sparked an idea. Recently,

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Speaker 2: especially after the election inauguration, I felt a little bit

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Speaker 2: of despair and anxiety over what the future behold, especially

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Speaker 2: in the United States. I was wondering if you too

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Speaker 2: could discuss how to handle these big feelings when everything

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Speaker 2: feels like it's changing. I'd love to know your perspectives

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Speaker 2: and thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I mean to keep it on a listen. This

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Speaker 1: could get really dark really fast.

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Speaker 2: To try to keep it in a place of what

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Speaker 2: we can do moving forward, I think is to keep

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Speaker 2: talking about the stuff with friends, to keep being who

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Speaker 2: you are openly and publicly and not Nava Mao said

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Speaker 2: this the other day at the glad Awards that I

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Speaker 2: was lucky enough to attend. She said, don't silence yourself

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Speaker 2: before they silence you. Don't do it for them, And

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Speaker 2: I thought.

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Speaker 1: That was such a beautiful way to express how like

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Speaker 1: just by being yourself, living your truth and being who

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Speaker 1: you are and talking about the things that you believe in,

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Speaker 1: whether it's you know, whether it's things like.

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Speaker 2: Your political position or who you are in this world,

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Speaker 2: or the groups that you might represent. I think being

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Speaker 2: open about those things and trying to also mesh those

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Speaker 2: things with the loving kindness that everybody has access to,

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Speaker 2: not saying that everybody uses it, that everybody has access

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Speaker 2: to a loving kindness in their hearts. Meshing those things

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Speaker 2: together is the only way that we're going to be

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Speaker 2: able to keep a positive like mindset moving forward and

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Speaker 2: not again allow ourselves to be pushed into a place

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Speaker 2: where we feel like we have to be silent before

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Speaker 2: where we feel like we have to be silent period.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. And I you know, I

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Speaker 1: find when I'm feeling really overwhelmed and powerless like that,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I think I feel like Elsa even

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Speaker 1: talked about it in these uh in this episode of

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Speaker 1: this of the podcast, like kind of what you were

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Speaker 1: saying too. Just now just like doing things, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, Whether like I've ano Sophia Robb who's

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Speaker 1: on the show with me, and I'll find out the

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Speaker 1: name of it. But there is like an app that

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Speaker 1: can quickly show you like all the phone numbers of

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Speaker 1: your representatives or like representatives in a plate, you know,

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Speaker 1: and it takes like fifteen minutes to just like make

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Speaker 1: some calls and read a script of like hey, my

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Speaker 1: name is Da Da Da, and I care about this

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Speaker 1: and I want you to vote this way or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And just taking those fifteen minutes sometimes to make your

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Speaker 1: voice hurt can just feel good because I think that

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Speaker 1: we feel really powerless as citizens and at the mercy,

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Speaker 1: but we have to remember that, like, you know, we voted,

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Speaker 1: those people were voted in, like, so it's important to

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Speaker 1: show up to the polls. It's important to call reps.

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Speaker 1: It's important to like do those little actionable things because

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Speaker 1: they do work for us at the end of the day.

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Speaker 2: It's important to continue paying attention because like maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: you were promised things.

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Speaker 1: And it's important to continue paying attention. Like yes, we

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Speaker 1: all need to like protect our peace and like yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah sure, and like take breaks, but like yeah yeah, also,

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Speaker 1: but don't live in oblivion, right, like don't like don't

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Speaker 1: kid yourself because it's there no matter what.

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Speaker 2: And like also the attention if if if you did,

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Speaker 2: you know, vote for the powers that are in office

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 1: Pay attention.

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Speaker 2: Are are you being given what you were promised?

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Speaker 1: Are you? Is it actually getting better for you? Have

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Speaker 1: your grocery prices come down? Him?

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Speaker 2: Or is it like maybe uh smells a little bit

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Speaker 2: like a oligarchy a little bit.

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Speaker 1: You know, like maybe many people.

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Speaker 2: That have tons of money shouldn't be allowed to, like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, uh, storm government offices and do whatever

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Speaker 2: they want.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Yeah, policy for for middle class

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Speaker 1: and lower class family, Yeah, you know. And like when

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Speaker 1: I have never been one, I get it.

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Speaker 2: It's a very uh, it's very easy to sort of

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Speaker 2: look in the opposite direction and go like, oh, well

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be fine or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But you know, just pay attention, more better, more better.

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Speaker 1: Next next, let's say into the next question segway into

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Speaker 1: an email from Alice. Hello, Stephanie and Melissa. I would

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Speaker 1: just like to share that I'm a huge fan of

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I find you both so insightful, relatable and hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. That's many thanks to the producers and everyone

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Speaker 1: behind the scenes who I'm sure helped make it all

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Speaker 1: happen as well. Yes you do, yeah, Leo, Sophia and

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Speaker 1: Isis We love you our free producers who are amazing.

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Speaker 1: I am currently a twenty one year old English student

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Speaker 1: and would love all caps to hear your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: getting through your twenties. I don't know. It can be

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Speaker 1: a difficult time for a lot of people and could

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Speaker 1: be useful to hear two successful women talk about how

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Speaker 1: tumultuous and rewarding it can be. Looking forward to listening

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Speaker 1: to whatever you guys come up with, and maybe even

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Speaker 1: getting a little more better at this life business. Oh

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Speaker 1: my kindest regards, Alice. What. First of all, your email

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Speaker 1: is very eloquent, Alice, So I feel like you are

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Speaker 1: gonna be just fine. I kind of no. Yeah, twenties

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Speaker 1: is such an interesting decade because I was about to

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, I loved my twenties, and then I remembered,

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Speaker 1: like the back half of it was truly awful, and

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Speaker 1: I considered quitting acting, and I was struggling so hard,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Eh, that's so hard. But in

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Speaker 1: hindsight's I was twenty twenty, right, so I didn't have

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Speaker 1: kids yet, I wasn't married yet for the first half

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Speaker 1: of my twenties, and I think I only bring that

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Speaker 1: up in the spirit of my one regret about my

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Speaker 1: twenties is that I didn't try my shit. One well regret,

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Speaker 1: my one biggest okay, now my one, my biggest, my

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Speaker 1: biggest regret is that I didn't try more to do

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Speaker 1: more shit. Sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, Also to try more stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't try You didn't try more,

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Speaker 2: try more stuff.

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Speaker 1: I wish I would have, like taken some writing classes.

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Speaker 1: I wish I would have like I almost took a

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Speaker 1: photography class once and then bailed and like didn't do

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Speaker 1: it for like stupid reasons. I did learn how to cook,

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Speaker 1: and I am always thanking my younger self for doing that.

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Speaker 1: Like when I wasn't working, I was like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: really learn how to cook, and I'm gonna this is

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Speaker 1: where I'm gonna put oh my like frustrated energy. And

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Speaker 1: I kind of wish I had done that with some

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Speaker 1: other skills because then when I did finally get closer

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Speaker 1: to a place that I wanted to be in my

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Speaker 1: career in my thirties, and then I had kids and

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Speaker 1: like everything got so fucking busy and then you just

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Speaker 1: don't have time for that. Yeah you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like your twenties is like a time

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Speaker 1: to try as many many things as you can. Don't

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Speaker 1: judge the journey, like there's no deadlines, there's no timeline

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Speaker 1: for when you are Like I think you do feel

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Speaker 1: that so much in your twenties, and then you go

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Speaker 1: along and you're like, oh, that was so made up,

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Speaker 1: like there was no If you find success in like

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Speaker 1: greatness in your twenties, you're I don't know, like the

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Speaker 1: point five percent, you know, Like I think it's a

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Speaker 1: time of discovery. I think it's a time of uh,

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Speaker 1: like discovering yourself and what you want, but also just

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Speaker 1: like trying to expose yourself to it. I think I

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Speaker 1: wish I had traveled a little more in my twenties,

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Speaker 1: even if it was like, you know, not necessarily had

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Speaker 1: to be like big extravagant things like just gone more places,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I wish I would have been a

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Speaker 1: little braver like with friendships and like creating new ones.

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Speaker 2: Oh that sends yeah, I mean sad.

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Speaker 1: But now I feel like I'm just I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm just going through like a laundry list of my

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Speaker 1: regrets in my twenties. But I think that's what everybody,

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Speaker 1: but I think that back. I think everyone does that.

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Speaker 1: But like, I think I put so much pressure on

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Speaker 1: myself in my twenties and while that may have at

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Speaker 1: times made me work hard, which I also think, like

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Speaker 1: your twenties is your time to freaking like work hard,

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Speaker 1: like and jack and go after shit and be as

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Speaker 1: ambitious as you can, and like you're never going to

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Speaker 1: have this level of energy and stamina and like you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, like it will that shit will

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Speaker 1: only get harder as you get older, so like utilize

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Speaker 1: your youth to grind so that hopefully you don't have

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Speaker 1: to grind as hard in your thirties and forties, you know.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, and I think just like explore more and like,

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Speaker 1: don't be afraid to try shit, and you know, expose

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Speaker 1: yourself to different things, see if you like it, you know,

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Speaker 1: pick up some new skills, like just keep learning, like

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Speaker 1: you're a student right now, Alice, don't lose the like student,

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Speaker 1: I think spirit, you know. So I think your your

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Speaker 1: twenties should be more of that, like more exploring and

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Speaker 1: figuring out what you like and what you don't like

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Speaker 1: and acquiring and acquiring fucking skills. Man, learn how to sew,

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Speaker 1: learn how to cook learn your older self.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you, you know, it's a very responsible advice.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I, yes, how you give the other

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Speaker 2: side absolutely fucked more people, which I had, sorry in

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Speaker 2: advance of listening to this with your children, but I

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Speaker 2: do I wish I had fuck more people because like,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not saying like in a dangerous way, like

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Speaker 2: you know, in the safe you know, save sex and

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Speaker 2: in an emotionally safe way, but.

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Speaker 1: Like I think I was raised. I was raised so Catholic.

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Speaker 1: I was raised so like you.

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Speaker 2: Can't dun't And you're like, was he gonna buy the

305
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Speaker 2: town and he could get the milk for free?

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Speaker 1: And like what does that even mean?

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Speaker 2: Like first of all, I said, even fucking yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean I know what it means, but like gross, you know,

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Speaker 2: Like and I wish I had just like not you know,

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Speaker 2: I was constantly sort of like searching for this idea

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Speaker 2: of like, oh, you gotta have like a partner. You

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Speaker 2: got you want to like have a like a partner,

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Speaker 2: And it's like why whatfore? Like I was great, I

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Speaker 2: didn't end up with any of those people that I've

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Speaker 2: dated in my twenties anyway, I mean you did, But

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Speaker 2: like I didn't, and I wish I had allowed myself

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Speaker 2: the freedom to party sober.

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Speaker 1: I wish I had not depended so much, leaned so

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Speaker 1: heavily on. I'm like, I gotta get loose.

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Speaker 2: I gotta have some alcohol, because like that's not safe, right,

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Speaker 2: Like just yeah, you know, like being in party situation

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Speaker 2: with alcohol in your system, it.

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Speaker 1: Can it can lead to like people.

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Speaker 2: Making choices that aren't always great. I mean, listen, people

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Speaker 2: get drugged in their diadector peppers.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like.

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Speaker 2: I wish personally I had allowed myself the dare of

328
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 2: like can I go to this party and stay sober

329
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Speaker 2: and like see if I actually like any of these people.

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Speaker 2: Can I go to this lom and go dancing and

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Speaker 2: like just let myself have all my life and feel

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Speaker 2: sexy and have fun and like meet people and not

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Speaker 2: have like wait what did I say? And like what

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00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,679
Speaker 2: did she look like? And you know, like not in

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Speaker 2: my brain, it's just like I just went and met

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Speaker 2: people and had a good time.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I wish I had. I mean a lot of my

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Speaker 2: twenties financially was just trying to survive. I mean, I

340
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 2: was just Sureryan to survive for so much of.

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Speaker 1: My twenties money. That's like another good one I think

342
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 1: for your twenties is like figure out how to budget,

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00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: figure struggle do that ship now because hopefully it will

344
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Speaker 1: never be as hard as it is in your twenties,

345
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: but it might. But if you can figure that but

346
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: it might be hopefully it won't. But if you can

347
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: figure that ship out, how to budget, how to stretch

348
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 1: a dollar, how to you know, make it work and

349
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 1: be really on top of your finances.

350
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Speaker 2: You don't need all the old self you think you need,

351
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 2: like you need not shit, Like you don't need all

352
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,439
Speaker 2: that like no bullshit skincare that you're buying, or like

353
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:38,159
Speaker 2: clothes or like the luxury whatever boop dooop, you know,

354
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 2: like you don't need. Like if you want it, save

355
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 2: up for that ship, save for it, absolutely save for it.

356
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm couragey to save for it.

357
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Speaker 2: Yes, I remember overdrawing my account all the freaking time

358
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 2: because I was out partying and drinking.

359
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 1: It was like what are you doing? Like what is

360
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,160
Speaker 1: the point of this? You know, like what is the point?

361
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 1: Because that can have fun?

362
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you could probably have that fun sober

363
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 2: you just don't even know if you can or not

364
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 2: because you're so.

365
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 1: Wasted, right, And I love it. I love the way

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00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 1: you phrase that of like challenging myself to see if

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00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 1: I could do this and what the experience would be,

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00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 1: because yeah, I don't think that I ever like even

369
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: occurred to me in my twenties, Like I mean, yeah,

370
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,120
Speaker 1: and I think there's a few like twenty seven year

371
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: olds in my life and they have no idea how

372
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: how much they're spending. And I'm always like, right, write

373
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,919
Speaker 1: it down five, there's not there's definitely an app, but

374
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,439
Speaker 1: there's multiple apps. Bit for a month, for one month,

375
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 1: write down be like so annoying if you have to

376
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 1: carry around a notebook witch like savior receipts, like write

377
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: down every single day how much you spend, and I

378
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: promise you'll be shocked.

379
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: I promise you, and then you'll see you'll be Yeah,

380
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 2: that's areas where.

381
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: You could do it. That's that's part of why they

382
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: don't want to do because they know, yeah, in the

383
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: back of the brain there like I'm spending too much

384
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: money on weed, Like they know, they know.

385
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 2: But if you want to get real and you really

386
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: want to enjoy this, time, which, like you said, look,

387
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 2: I'm not an advocate for like being sober all the time,

388
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: not necessarily if that, if you want to cool, you

389
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 2: also will never recover from hangovers the way that you

390
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 2: did in your twenties. So enjoy, enjoy the time because oh.

391
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah yeah yeah, yeah, you're not here, take advantage

392
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: of that shit. Yeah you're not special, You're not You're not.

393
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 2: It's not going to be like, well, I don't really

394
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,919
Speaker 2: get hungover, so I guess that'll just continue into my

395
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: thirties and forties. No, babe, that was me. I was like, no, no,

396
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 2: really get hungover, like it's not a problem for me.

397
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: No, boom boom, No, the day of your thirtieth birthday

398
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: and you will have your first hangover. It will change,

399
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: It changes overnight, overnight.

400
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: The money thing is such a big deal, right, Like

401
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: I you know, I was surviving, but part of why

402
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: I was surviving was because at a certain point I

403
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 2: remember this so so so clearly. And I don't know

404
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 2: if I've talked about on the pod before, but I

405
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: remember being like short two hundred dollars for rent or something,

406
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 2: and I called my mom and I was like, I

407
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: need two hundred dollars, like I'm not going to make

408
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 2: rent this.

409
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: Month, like I'm I'm I'm fucked, and my mom was like,

410
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: I would give it to if we had it.

411
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: We don't have it, Stephanie, like, we don't have an

412
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 2: extra two hundred dollars. And that's when it really dropped

413
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 2: for me that I was like, oh, I have no

414
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: safety net. I have none. I there's nowhere to go

415
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: to find this extra. I don't have a family that

416
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 2: has even two hundred dollars, which, like you know, might

417
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: not sound like a lot to a lot of people,

418
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 2: but at the time for me, it was the difference

419
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 2: between like getting kicked out of my worst a lot, yeah,

420
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: and my family didn't have to give me.

421
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: I have a question about this moment. Do you feel

422
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: as scary? And I'm sure also you know, I have

423
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,479
Speaker 1: to process that moment was that you did realizing you

424
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 1: had no safety net? Did you also feel like that

425
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 1: forced you to get your shit together? That's exactly where

426
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: I was gonna go next, because like I was like,

427
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 1: oh fuck, I have to figure this out.

428
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,120
Speaker 2: So you know, I talked to my landlady, convinced her

429
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,239
Speaker 2: to like give me an extension on it, and then

430
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 2: I started really like being aware of how I was

431
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 2: spending my money and really like down to this is

432
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: how much I have to shop to grocery shop this week.

433
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 2: This is how many times I'm gonna eat at home.

434
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 2: This is when I'm gonna buy a bagel, and it's

435
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,479
Speaker 2: gonna be like breakfast and part of my lunch, you know,

436
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: Like I was, like, I got my fucking shit together.

437
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 2: I did because I had to, because I had to.

438
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: And like I I wish that my parents had shown

439
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: me how to do some of that like when I

440
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: was younger.

441
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: But they didn't know how to do either. So like

442
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 2: your twenties is also an amazing time to go, Like,

443
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 2: do I choose the path of going like, well, nobody.

444
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: Taught me how?

445
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know it? Or do I go hmm,

446
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: I've got the Internet in my pocket, I've got a

447
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 2: library at my disposal. I can learn how to do

448
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: these things. I don't need money to learn how to

449
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 2: do these things. I don't need learn money to learn

450
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 2: how to budget. I don't need money to learn how

451
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 2: to cook. I can just read books, right, I don't.

452
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: I don't even need money to like maybe take some

453
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 2: of these classes that you were talking about, right, Like

454
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 2: I could teach myself some of the stuff right the

455
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: twenty your twenties. I can watch YouTube videos.

456
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: I can. Yeah, like this is the time, the time

457
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 1: which I had done more of that.

458
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to motor this. The motor's gonna come from

459
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 2: me now, like this is the time the motor before

460
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 2: came from your parents. Like you gotta go to school,

461
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 2: you gotta get gregs, you gotta book book blob.

462
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: But do do do do do right in your twenties,

463
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 1: the motor your own motor. You gotta do it, babe,

464
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: and like you can do it.

465
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: It's a difficult time for a lot of people like it,

466
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 2: and it was difficult for both of us in different ways.

467
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 2: But it also like I wouldn't go back there. I would,

468
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 2: I wouldn't go back there if you paid me. I

469
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 2: was about to say I would. I would love to

470
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 2: be able to sit down across from myself for ten

471
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: minutes back then and be like, you're so beautiful, you're

472
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: so funny and sweet. Don't compare yourself to anybody else,

473
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 2: and don't break up with all these motherfucking people you're seeing, Like,

474
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:36,199
Speaker 2: don't and break don't. Don't be in a relationship. You

475
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: don't need to be in a relationship or a situationship.

476
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: Just be like making out with people at parties, babe,

477
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: like situation.

478
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: Don't don't do any of it.

479
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: You're beautiful, you're funny, you're smart, you're talented. Keep doing

480
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: what you're doing, and break up with everybody. That's what

481
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 2: I would I wish I could tell myself in my twenties.

482
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 2: What would you say if you could like sit down

483
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: with her for ten minutes?

484
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 1: All those things, Alice or myself? You with yourself? Oh

485
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 1: with me? Yeah, yes, all the things you said. You're beautiful,

486
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: Stop comparing yourself to other people. Uh, you're smart, you're

487
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: you're funny, you're nice, you're a good friend. Stop making

488
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: excuses for people that are not good friends and just

489
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: get rid of them. Love it. That's a good one.

490
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: Try more things, teach yourself more skills and try yeah,

491
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,959
Speaker 1: and just go on the fucking trip. Stop being afraid

492
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: that you're going to miss auditions, you're going to miss opportunities.

493
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: Maybe you can go on the trip. And there was

494
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 1: a way for you to go on the trip. Go

495
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: on the fucking trip. Go on the trip. On the

496
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 1: trip your shitty friends at home, and leave the shitty

497
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: friends at home. Yeah, oh yeah, good and just really

498
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: lean yeah, lean on the good friends and maybe try

499
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: to find some other new friends too, because you knew,

500
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 1: you knew, you kind of knew, just like I kind

501
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: of knew. You always know, Yeah, you always knew, know

502
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: because you start doing that. Oh, they're just you know,

503
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: sometimes they're just like this, oh you know, sometimes they're

504
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: just like yeah, overly sensitive about this, or they oh,

505
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,400
Speaker 1: you know, they don't like to hang out the house

506
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: because they're just really like a party girl and like

507
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: just always need to be out. Like, yeah, you make

508
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: all the excuses and you shouldn't. Yeah, you do more, better,

509
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: more better. That was a good question. We really went

510
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 1: off on that one. Okay, that was a good Yeah,

511
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: we really did. It's the next one. Next one is

512
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: a voice note. Okay, I'm Claire. Okay, hi ladies. My

513
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: name is Claire.

514
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 3: I'm a longtime Brooklyn nine nine fan, and I'm so

515
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 3: glad that I found your podcast because I could use

516
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 3: your help being a little more better at being happy

517
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 3: for my friends. And I hope as I explain this,

518
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 3: other women can relate and are just like Claire, sounds

519
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 3: like just a sad little bit. I am just in

520
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 3: a different phase of life than a lot of my friends.

521
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: And they've all been married for like five or seven years.

522
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 3: They're all moms, and when we get together, it's all

523
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 3: just a lot of mom talk and them offering advice,

524
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 3: giving advice, sharing stories and struggles, and I feel like

525
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 3: I'm just.

526
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: Sitting in the corner. I feel like I can't relate.

527
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: I feel inadequate, and I have that creeping feeling of jealousy,

528
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 3: which is the worst one. I just I'm genuinely happy

529
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 3: for them, and I want that to be where my

530
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 3: feelings stop. And then while we're at it, I also

531
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 3: would like to be happy for me too. I'm getting

532
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 3: married this summer, and I'm very excited. Kind of the

533
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 3: same thing when we're together, after you know, all the

534
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: mom talk, it just it doesn't feel like the vibe

535
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 3: to talk about my wedding, And I honestly feel silly

536
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 3: talking about it because it seems like they've all been there,

537
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: had done that, and it's not really where they are anymore.

538
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 3: So I guess I just need help being happy. I

539
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 3: hope that you guys are able to help me be

540
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 3: a little more better.

541
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Love you guys left the podcast.

542
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: Oh Claire, don't judge yourself so harshly. Oh my god,

543
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: please for.

544
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: For the first first of all, don't judge yourself so harshly, because,

545
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 2: like we've all been in a situation with our friends

546
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: where we're like, well, what about my thing?

547
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: Like I want to talk about my saying, you know, there,

548
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: even with friends that we'd love dearly, sometimes we're just like,

549
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: what about my thing? You know, I have a friend

550
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: who talk about thing, now, I want to talk about

551
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: my thing.

552
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 2: She she she had she was married, but a lot

553
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 2: of her older friends, like friends that she'd been with

554
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: friends since they were teenagers, they all had kids, and

555
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: a lot of their conversations were around kids and having

556
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 2: having their toddlers and then having their older kids, and

557
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: she felt like, oh, like the connection with them it

558
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 2: felt very like frustrating for her at times. And I

559
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 2: remember her talking to me about this, and I also

560
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: remember sitting there being like, well, why don't you call

561
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 2: me up, like ask me to go to stuff, you know,

562
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 2: because part of that is part of part of of

563
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 2: having friendships, right is knowing when, oh, these are my

564
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 2: x y Z friends, right, like, these are my friends

565
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 2: that I, you know, do this thing with, or these

566
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: are my friends that I do that thing with. And

567
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 2: you didn't say, Claire specifically, if you've been friends with

568
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 2: them for a really long time, but it sounds like

569
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: you may have been friends with them for a little

570
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 2: while because they've got kids and you don't, and you've

571
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: watched their sort of journey. You know, when you have kids,

572
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 2: it can be sometimes really consuming because you're if you're

573
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 2: not asking for advice, maybe you're giving advice. If you're

574
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 2: acting like you have it all together most of the.

575
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: Time, that's extremely stressful because you don't, yeah, and you're

576
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: just trying to put on that face, you know, and

577
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: you know there's that's certainly something that mom friends will

578
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: do when they get together, is they will talk about

579
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: that part of their lives because they don't.

580
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 2: Have anybody else to talk about it with. They're in

581
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: lots of other environments where they don't get to talk

582
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: about that, and they don't get to commiserate with people,

583
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: and they don't have like a safe space to have

584
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: advice about it or talk about it or even just

585
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: like vent about it or celebrate it. They don't because

586
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 2: people that don't have kids often don't understand it in

587
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 2: the same kind of way. And that's okay, that's okay.

588
00:32:56,080 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: I will say I wish that you fell. I wish

589
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: that you would allow yourself to talk about your wedding,

590
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: because if it is something that you're excited about, you

591
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: should talk about it.

592
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: I certainly have. I remember feeling kind of like embarrassed

593
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: that I was so excited about my wedding really yeah,

594
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 2: because I was like, I mean, I started saving for

595
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 2: my wedding before I even met my husband, because I

596
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: was like, I want a big wedding. I was like,

597
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 2: I because I had been with someone before that that

598
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: did not want to get married and and yeah, and

599
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 2: then when we broke up, I was.

600
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 1: Like, I want to have a big wedding. I want

601
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: to have a big wedding, and I want the wedding

602
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: of my dream. Your wedding. It was so much fun.

603
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: Thank you.

604
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I was like I was really embarrassed that,

605
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 2: you know, part of me was really embarrassed that I was.

606
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: Am I really gonna like go all out and like

607
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: have like a flower wall and you know, make separate

608
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 1: bars for each alcohol and like have. However many food

609
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: trucks I had, you know, Like I was like, am

610
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: I doing this? Like?

611
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 2: And so I was kind of embarrassed about how much

612
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: attention I was putting on my wedding. So I understand that,

613
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: I guess, is what I'm trying to say. I understand

614
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: like kind of feeling like, but it also sounds like

615
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: she wants to talk about it, and like I don't

616
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 2: know if they've been if they all got married, like

617
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 2: maybe they want to talk about it too, Like maybe

618
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 2: they miss just having a fun party to talk about

619
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm not sure.

620
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like, you know, it is everything you said,

621
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 1: especially if their kids are little and they're just like

622
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: so in it. Yeah, they probably are leaning on each

623
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: other for community and just like I remember when I

624
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: would get together with my mom group friends when one

625
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: of my kids was doing something you know that was

626
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: driving me bonkers, and it was oh so affirming to

627
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: hear them be like, oh my kid's doing that too,

628
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: you know, And it's just like kind of a lifeline

629
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 1: when you're a mom. However, mm hmmm, I do feel

630
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: like I try to be very conscious if I'm with

631
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: a friend who doesn't have kids to at some point

632
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 1: like change the conversation. And maybe if your friends are

633
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: not having that awareness, I think that it's a perfectly

634
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,959
Speaker 1: fine thing to bring up. Yeah, and you know, and

635
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: or or just try like being like, you know, after

636
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 1: you let them kind of do their kid talk for

637
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: a little bit, be like, hey, guys, can we talk

638
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: about the wedding? Because maybe it starts with like, you know,

639
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 1: I don't know, make up a problem and like ask

640
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: them for advice to like bring them into the to

641
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: the thing, you know, or like I don't know what

642
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: to do, and then questions about their wedding.

643
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: I mean, don't you want to know about ask them

644
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 2: questions about their wedding?

645
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, be like maybe like what's the most you know,

646
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: wish what do you wish you had done? Or what

647
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: was the most memorable thing? Or you know, let's do

648
00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,760
Speaker 1: what was your favorite moment from your wedding?

649
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 2: You know, like that's a good one. Yeah, that's a

650
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 2: really good one.

651
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: Do you remember when you were like just like make

652
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: sure that you like practice like taking snapshots of the

653
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: moment because it's all going to go so so fast.

654
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: You remember this? Oh? Yes, Because I tell everyone that

655
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: gets married that same advice because someone had said it

656
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: to us and it was the best advice ever. Say

657
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 1: right now, say right now for Claire. So the advice

658
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: is that throughout the day, every time you know there's

659
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: a moment and you can feel them throughout the day.

660
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: The first time you see your parents dressed up or

661
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: whatever it is, when you you know that, when you

662
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: turn that corner in the aisle and you see your

663
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: partner for the first time. Uh. The person told me

664
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: to say to myself, I want to remember this moment,

665
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: like in your head, say and sometimes I even whispered

666
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 1: it throughout the day, I want to remember this moment.

667
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: There's something about doing that that like makes you really

668
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: present and it kind of makes your brain take these

669
00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: little mental pictures. And it is such a big day

670
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: that goes by so fast, and I swear my wedding

671
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: is like kind of a blur except for the times

672
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 1: that I did that. I have these like crystal clear

673
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: memories of when I first saw David, when I first

674
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 1: saw my dad in his tucks, when we had our

675
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 1: first dance, when you know, I gave I handed the

676
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 1: flower basket to my niece, like you know, it's just

677
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: these little moments and it was such good advice that

678
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: worked for me. And so I've just like every time

679
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: someone's gotten married, I've made sure to tell them that

680
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 1: like the night before or the day before. It's such nice.

681
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: So the like scene, Yeah, you've been married, you've been married.

682
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 2: You know you've been married since your twenties, right, you

683
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: just talked about your wedding so like excitedly and full

684
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 2: of love. Right, Like people just because people have been

685
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: there and done that, it doesn't mean they don't want

686
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: to talk about it. Like if you want to talk

687
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 2: about your wedding, your upcoming wedding, and these friends are

688
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 2: married or not, like talk to them at it, like

689
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 2: ask some questions about theirs. Yeah, maybe part of the

690
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 2: issue is like I don't know, but like it sounds

691
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 2: like the issue is twofold, right, Like it sounds like

692
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 2: Claire's friends don't know when to stop talking about their

693
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 2: own kids, right they don't They maybe like don't have

694
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 2: a sense of like is she she's feeling left out?

695
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like getting together like all four or five

696
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 2: of you in a group is not the It's not

697
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 2: the thing right now, like maybe or like at least

698
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: if it is, you got to kind of know, like

699
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: there's gonna be a lot of parenting talk. Maybe you

700
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: separate them a little bit, like maybe it's like you

701
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 2: just get lunch with Qutchen, You just get lunch with

702
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 2: you know whoever, Yeah, and see if you can steer

703
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 2: the conversation toward things that you both are interested in

704
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 2: or like, you know, maybe it's not all parenting stuff.

705
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 2: Maybe it's some other stuff too. I mean, I had

706
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 2: lunch with my friend Katie the other day, and we

707
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 2: did talk about parenting stuff. She's not a parent, but

708
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 2: I talked about it. But then also we spend a

709
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,479
Speaker 2: lot of time talking about like makeup and politics and

710
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 2: other stuff.

711
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, try to bring them into the excitement

712
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 1: of your wedding. Try to give maybe more cues of

713
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:06,240
Speaker 1: like it's time for the conversation to steer away from parenting.

714
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 1: I think your suggestion too, of like hanging out with

715
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 1: one or two of them instead of maybe the whole group.

716
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 1: Separate these hosts because like moms like to talk about

717
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 1: mom stuff. Separate these hose you know, yeah, we do. Also,

718
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe explore put some more energy into

719
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: other friends that you maybe have that don't have kids yet.

720
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:34,280
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, maybe there's some friends, like some new friends,

721
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: like you know, like and I get it, like new

722
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: friendships are harder. You have to be like, do you

723
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 2: want to go to this thing with me?

724
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 1: It's very like like a weird dating. It's hard.

725
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 2: It's hard, and like you gotta do a little more

726
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 2: work than just like, oh, everyone's going to so and

727
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,800
Speaker 2: So's house on Friday, are you coming?

728
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's a little more work than that.

729
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 2: But if you are feeling some type of way about them,

730
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 2: and also if you try these some these tactics and

731
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,320
Speaker 2: they don't really seem to be working, you know, I

732
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: think the ultimate is kind of like sitting them down.

733
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 1: I wouldn't sit in a group.

734
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 2: I would say like individually yeah and expressing like sometimes

735
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: I feel really left out because I think the conversation

736
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 2: steers towards something that like I'm not a part of.

737
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,320
Speaker 1: And I don't begrudge you your happiness.

738
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want to be I just want to

739
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: continue growing together as friends, and I don't really know

740
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 2: how to do it.

741
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: If I can't really take part in this part of

742
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: your life. Pick the person in the group who feels

743
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: like your strongest ally but also likes the gossip a

744
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: little bit, so because you got to count on that

745
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: friend going to the rest of the group. Like, I know,

746
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: I'm that friend in my friend group. When somebody comes

747
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: to me with a problem about somebody else in the

748
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: friend group, I know what they're asking of me. They're

749
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 1: asking for advice and empathy, and then they are also

750
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: expecting me to go to the rest of the group

751
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: and be.

752
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,439
Speaker 2: Like, hey, hey, you got we got to be better

753
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 2: reminds because we're making.

754
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 1: Them feel a certain way. Yeah, I know, I know,

755
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm that I'm that bitch with the big mouth and

756
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: the friend group. So I will like turn around and

757
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: tell the rest of the group like, we can't do this.

758
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: It's making them feel Now, okay, I got good to

759
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: know about you. This is actually really good to know

760
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: about you. I'm like a fault to a fault, probably

761
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: because I like people will be like, did you know.

762
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I did know, and I'd be like,

763
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: but it was like last year, and I'm like, I know,

764
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: but she didn't say to tell you. So I didn't

765
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: say I'm a vault in general, but with my tight

766
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 1: little friend groups, I am not okay, I am not

767
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 1: good to know. Yeah, okay, I will, and I know

768
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 1: that they know that I'm gonna say some shit. Yeah yeah,

769
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: yeah yeah.

770
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 2: This next one is actually about kids. This one is

771
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: from from Carl. Oh, what a cute name. Okay, my

772
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 2: wife's currently pregnant. One and two of you went through

773
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 2: the process of being pregnant. What examples do you recall

774
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 2: of your partner being supported and what were the they

775
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 2: could have been more better? Well, I'll tell you one

776
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 2: positive and one negative, and molessly you do the same.

777
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 2: How about that? Yes, one positive. I don't think I

778
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 2: changed a diaper. I mean I could probably ten times

779
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 2: for the first like, however, many months like the first

780
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 2: I think we left for London when she was three

781
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 2: months old, I maybe changed ten diapers. Like I was

782
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 2: doing a lot of other stuff. I was growing the

783
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 2: food source. I was like trying to do a bunch

784
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 2: of other shit, you know, trying to get another job,

785
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 2: all that stuff. But I didn't change the diapers. I

786
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: didn't change the diapers. And it was so helpful, and

787
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 2: you know, at first he had like a strong reaction

788
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: to it, but he quickly got used to it and

789
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 2: he got really good at it. So that is a

790
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,879
Speaker 2: way that you can certainly help, like suck it up

791
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 2: and change the pup.

792
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:56,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

793
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 2: The way that he could have been more better, And

794
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 2: this is partially my fault.

795
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 1: Was he should have probably skipped his fantasy football draft trip.

796
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: You know.

797
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 2: It was just a few and I think it was

798
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 2: like a week and a half after the baby was born.

799
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 2: And like before the baby was born, I was like,

800
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 2: I'll be fun. My sister's gonna help me. It's not

801
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 2: gonna be a problem.

802
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 1: No. After the baby was born and he left, I

803
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 1: was like, fuck you, Like I couldn't believe, couldn't believe

804
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: that he had left.

805
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: Like and my fault, yeah, yeah, I mean the audacity

806
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 2: of him. Your heart, Yeah, my heart. It was my heart.

807
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 2: It was it was absolutely my heart. It was.

808
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 1: It was your your fart in judgment. Yes, yea, So

809
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: those are mine? What about you? One mine? Okay? Positive

810
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: while she's pregnant. Every time my husband made me delicious,

811
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 1: like healthy food or brought me food of any kind,

812
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I am so loved.

813
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: I feel like a goddamn princess. Something about just when

814
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: you're pregnant. Every other time he's done it, I mean,

815
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. But there was something about when I

816
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: was pregnant that I was just like, oh my god. Yeah,

817
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 1: also just like go I think, being extra like rubbing feet,

818
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: running a bath, like you know, saying let's go out

819
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 1: to dinner tonight or let's go away this weekend, like

820
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: because it is your last little bit of like the

821
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: newborn phase. But everything is so intense that first year

822
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: of being a new parent that I don't think we

823
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: I don't think most people take advantage of like that

824
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: time during pregnancy to just like be together, like you know,

825
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 1: watch a bunch of shows, like and it doesn't even

826
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: have to be like going out because maybe she's miserable

827
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 1: and like doesn't feel like doing that, so then maybe

828
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: it's like watching shows and movies together or reading a

829
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:12,320
Speaker 1: book together or whatever. Like just really feeling close and connecting.

830
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: I think felt like very big to like when that

831
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 1: would happen when I was pregnant, but just felt very

832
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: like comforting and special. Uh. And then the negative, I

833
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 1: would say is for these nine months and for the

834
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 1: at least four years after you have a child. I'm

835
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 1: so sorry, Carl. You are not allowed to make any

836
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: comments about your own body, about the state of it

837
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: about particularly when she's pregnant and she has lost all

838
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: control over what her body is going to do. You

839
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: cannot make any positive or negative comments about your own

840
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,240
Speaker 1: body during that time. You keep that shit to yourself.

841
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: You call your friends and you tell them, but you

842
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 1: every time, and everyone knows. My husband's very into fitness.

843
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 1: He's very like discipline, takes care of himself. And there

844
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 1: would just be times where he'd be like ugh, like

845
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: you know, pinsion some like love handle or something, and

846
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: I would want to murder a non existent nothing moment,

847
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: a non existent comment on his body.

848
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 2: Because a man or he had been fucking a runway

849
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 2: model for like versact right, and like he was in

850
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 2: like like he was the hot baby in a Mariah

851
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 2: Carey video like this is not.

852
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's on another level of like human Look, he's

853
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 1: on another level of like human fitness that is yes,

854
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: And he's worked out his whole life. And it's also

855
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 1: like he's passionate about it. It's part of his mental health.

856
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 1: But every time he said anything about his physical appearance,

857
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: I wanted to murder him, whether it was positive or negative.

858
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you also can't be like, oh, man, I really

859
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 2: like got in it, got it, got at it today

860
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 2: at the gym's like, yeah, I know you can't.

861
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: I can't do that.

862
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 2: I can't bend it the waves.

863
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: And I cannot be happy for you right now. No,

864
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: I can't. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you're eating extra with

865
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 1: her and gaining some Yeah, if you're like gaining weight

866
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: with her because you're eating extra with her, like great boo.

867
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:37,240
Speaker 1: Keep that ship to yourself, Yeah, keep it to yourself.

868
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 1: Tell your friends, don't tell your wife. That's how you

869
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: could be supportive.

870
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 2: Absolutely zero zero's come to me except for to her.

871
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 1: You're so beautiful. Yes, you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful.

872
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:56,240
Speaker 1: You know. She's like, oh my god, no, I feel

873
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: like so disgusting. I hate this, And.

874
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 2: Then you go say, I will, I'm sorry, so beautiful,

875
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 2: you're so beautiful.

876
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just can't take my eyes off you.

877
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: Boo boo boo boom. Okay, booby boom boom boop. Next question, Okay,

878
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: pressure to be perfect as a woman. Oh yikes. Hi

879
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: Devanie and Melissa and team, thank you so much for

880
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: giving more better to the masses. I just listened to

881
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 1: your episode about making adult friendships and how hard it

882
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 1: can be. As I was cooking slash cleaning in my

883
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 1: one bedroom apartment feeling all kinds of lonely. Adult friendships

884
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 1: are hard despite me trying to be my despite me

885
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 1: trying my best and taking initiative. It really made me

886
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: feel that I was not alone. And if you, as celebrities,

887
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: go through it, then it's not surprising that someone like me,

888
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: just a normal person could go through it. To you,

889
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 1: thank you. Could you talk about how as women it

890
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 1: can be difficult to have everything together. For example, we

891
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 1: need to have the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the

892
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 1: perfect teeth, the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle to stay

893
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 1: healthy and all that fun stuff, and sometimes it can

894
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: just be overwhelming. We all feel like this right. A

895
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: lot of it has to do with social media mm

896
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: hm and how it portrays the best parts of ourselves

897
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,879
Speaker 1: and that can be difficult to escape. Once again, all

898
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 1: the best to your team and can't wait to hear

899
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:32,919
Speaker 1: to become more better best Cartiky, I hope I'm saying

900
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 1: that right. What a pretty name for it all, Partiki,

901
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: It is a pretty name.

902
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, we didn't have social media when we

903
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 2: were growing up, but we had hy am and seventeen magazine.

904
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: We had those magazines. Every image in it, like every

905
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: other story was like how to lose weight, how to

906
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 1: get boys to like you, how to not be awkward?

907
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: How did this? How did that?

908
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 2: And it was like, you know, this miniature version of

909
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 2: social medi yeah, which social media does nothing except I

910
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 2: guess it connects people. But like it is, it's a

911
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 2: hellscape of comparison, and it really is, and you know

912
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 2: it is.

913
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:17,439
Speaker 1: You gotta get off of it. You've got to get

914
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:17,919
Speaker 1: off there.

915
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 2: You got to like give yourself time if you want

916
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: to be on there a little bit, but like take

917
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 2: it off your phone and put it on your iPad

918
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 2: because then you won't look at it as much. Like

919
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:31,880
Speaker 2: you got to just protect your you know, protecting your health,

920
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 2: protecting your mental wellness or whatever.

921
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:35,360
Speaker 1: That's part of it, babe.

922
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 2: Like you are never gonna feel any any bit of

923
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 2: like how magical and perfect you already are if you're

924
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 2: constantly looking at how other people are better than you

925
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 2: and thinking that in your head and cycling on that

926
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 2: on that thought, and like I think, you know, we

927
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 2: all wish we'd grown up with parents who told us

928
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 2: constantly you're so beautiful, you're so perfect, you're so loved,

929
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 2: you're so want wonderful, and maybe some of us did. Yeah,

930
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 2: you know, but if we didn't, then we have to

931
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 2: internalize that voice. And like it took me into my

932
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 2: you know, it took me. I'm still isn't working on it.

933
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 2: But like, for example, she says in here, the perfect skin,

934
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 2: she wrote, for example, we need to have the perfect hair,

935
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: the perfect skin. Oh my god, the skin issues that

936
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 2: I had and the way that I would look in

937
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 2: the mirror and hate on myself for my skin. And

938
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 2: it wasn't until like I first of all, I went

939
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 2: on accutane and I helped a lot, but like that

940
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: combined with like really understanding that, like I it wasn't

941
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 2: like my skin got clear and then I got Brooklyn

942
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 2: nine nine. You know, I got Brooklyn Miners before my

943
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 2: skin got clear. I was, Yeah, I was done with Brooklyn.

944
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:59,240
Speaker 2: I think by the time I wasn't think so yeah

945
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 2: the last these my skin looked great because I was pregnant,

946
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 2: but like, yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't like the things

947
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 2: in my life that were coming to me that I

948
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 2: earned and like and were mine came to me because

949
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 2: my skin was clear. You know, like right it was,

950
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 2: it didn't happen like that, and like that whole time,

951
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 2: I wish I had I wish I hadn't berated myself

952
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 2: for not having good skin, you know, like.

953
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 1: It does it.

954
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: It's like you there's a certain amount of like letting

955
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,359
Speaker 2: go of the comparison that we have to learn how

956
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 2: to do, and then somehow, weirdly those things that we

957
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 2: want come.

958
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: And also acutaine. Accutane is great and also acutane And

959
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think the second part of that,

960
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 1: which I think you're also saying with you know, accutane,

961
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: is trying to identify First of all, yes, one hundred percent,

962
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: get social media off your phone because I think it's

963
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 1: you need to detox for a minute. And I think

964
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: the second part is all so really trying to get

965
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 1: real with yourself about what are the things that you

966
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 1: actually give a shit that are causing you unhappiness or turmoil? Right,

967
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 1: and like for you, like it was going on acutane

968
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: and like you know that you did want to improve it,

969
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: you know, like and so it is like what are

970
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: the things that are you know, do do I wish

971
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 1: that I was eating healthier or whatever? You know, what

972
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, yeah, or do I wish I was

973
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: working out more? Okay, that is something we can do

974
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 1: something about. That is something we can change. Might have

975
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: to sit down and schedule it and figure out how

976
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 1: we make it happen, and like, make a commitment, I'm

977
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 1: gonna do this for thirty days whatever it is. Like,

978
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: but those are things that you can do. Yeah, and

979
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: then all the rest of it you might find you

980
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 1: might discover you don't actually give a shit. It doesn't

981
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: bother you. Yeah, fine, you know what I mean. You

982
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 1: like this part of your life where you that's not

983
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: you don't really care about. Like I don't give a

984
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: shit about my nails. My nails look like shit all

985
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 1: the fucking time. They do. They look like shit all

986
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: the time. I don't know about that. And sometimes I

987
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 1: would have no they do like they're they're all broken

988
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: and summer long and summer short and like you know,

989
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: and most of the time I don't give a shit.

990
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: I have moments where I see Stephanie's beautiful nails or

991
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: I see another woman with beautiful nails, and I'm like, fuck, man,

992
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: why don't I like And it's the comarison thing. I'm

993
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:29,439
Speaker 1: just like what I should probably care about this more,

994
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 1: like it does look so nice on a woman when

995
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,360
Speaker 1: her nails are like a little bit long and like

996
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: done and stuff and like. But then I realized, like,

997
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: I don't actually give a shit for me personally. I

998
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: love it on other women. I think it looks beautiful.

999
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 1: It is not something that's actually important to me. And

1000
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 1: if it ever does get to me, then I just

1001
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: make time to go get a fucking manicure and like

1002
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,800
Speaker 1: feel better about it, you know. I like take some action,

1003
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,919
Speaker 1: but most of the time I don't care. And I've yeah,

1004
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:58,879
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I've gone

1005
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: to events with shitty bare nails and I don't care,

1006
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: you know, And so it's really trying to get in

1007
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: touch with you know, there's some actors that love doing

1008
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 1: press and publicity and it's not something that I love

1009
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: and I don't judge them for it, and sometimes I

1010
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: feel bad, like, fuck, I should care more, I should

1011
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,880
Speaker 1: want to do I should want to do more photo

1012
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 1: shoots or things. And then but then like I do that,

1013
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 1: you know again, I just like dig in deep and

1014
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't care. I just don't care, Like

1015
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 1: this is not something that's important to me. No. I

1016
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: want to support the things that I'm doing and I

1017
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 1: want people to watch them, and you know that will

1018
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: motivate me to like do more. But this is not

1019
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 1: something that feels important to me or that I need

1020
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: to do. And it's great that people love it and

1021
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: like you know, love to do it. I don't not

1022
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, and that's okay, good for you, not

1023
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: for me. For me, Yeah, there's not for you, not

1024
00:55:58,360 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: for me.

1025
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,440
Speaker 2: There's something really smart that you said about like narrowing down,

1026
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 2: like what is the thing that really bums me out?

1027
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 2: Or like what is the thing that I actually do

1028
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 2: want to you know, quote unquote fix about myself or

1029
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 2: and and sometimes like you do all those things and

1030
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 2: you get to the place and you go, oh, that's

1031
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 2: not the that wasn't the thing, you know, like that

1032
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 2: wasn't the thing that it was the key on off

1033
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:25,839
Speaker 2: my happiness, you know, like it just wasn't because like

1034
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 2: happiness is an inside job, you know, like feeling good

1035
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: about yourself as a person is.

1036
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 1: An inside job. You know.

1037
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 2: I think like it's part of I mean, it's not

1038
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 2: a coincidence that I went on like a wo wo

1039
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:45,839
Speaker 2: spiritual retreat and like came to terms with how I

1040
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,959
Speaker 2: was creating my own reality. And also like the next

1041
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 2: week got on accutane. You know, like I right, it

1042
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,359
Speaker 2: just wasn't a coincidence.

1043
00:56:55,400 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: So like I think sometimes you go, like, I mean,

1044
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 1: this is a good example. This is a weird example,

1045
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:05,399
Speaker 1: but like.

1046
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 2: You know, when people finally hit earlier, I think it

1047
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 2: was earlier in this conversation might have been in the last episode,

1048
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 2: but you know if oh no, it was this conversation. Okay,

1049
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 2: so earlier you were like, oh, maybe you're like in

1050
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 2: your twenties and you hit it big and like you

1051
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 2: achieve greatness or whatever. But what happens if you do

1052
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: that in your twenties And then you go, is this

1053
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 2: it shouldn't all my problems were solved?

1054
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 1: Like now I'm perfect? You know, like what if you

1055
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 1: had what you consider the perfect hair, the perfect skin,

1056
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 1: the perfect teeth, the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle. Like

1057
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 1: what if all those things like magically happened, and like

1058
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: you still felt exactly the same way on the inside,

1059
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 1: And you think to yourself, well, no, I'll feel different.

1060
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 1: I'll feel different. But like will you or will you

1061
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: still be?

1062
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 2: Like will you kinda like will you still sometimes feel lonely?

1063
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: Like I mean you might get hit on maybe like

1064
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 2: a little more if like you're hair is so shiny

1065
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 2: that everyone in the room turns and looks when you

1066
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 2: walk in. But like I don't know, like, are you

1067
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 2: gonna get hit on by the kind of people that

1068
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: you want to spend time with? I'm not sure, Like

1069
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 2: I don't know the answer to that stuff. But I

1070
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 2: think like thinking about these things in terms of like

1071
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 2: what is actually important to me as opposed to what

1072
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:26,560
Speaker 2: does everybody else say is important? Yes, really big, big

1073
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 2: kind of difference in like how what's going to make

1074
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 2: me like actually happy, you know, like actually deeply happy

1075
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 2: because like I mean, yes, my skin's clear now, but

1076
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 2: like so also like I take antidepressants.

1077
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 1: Because like right, right, yeah, there's still stuff, there's still stuff,

1078
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: there's still stuff. Yes, it's yeah, it's letting, it's letting

1079
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: go of what other people's perceptions of perfect are. And

1080
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: just I think it's just discovering like what is perfect

1081
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: for you, m right, like inside and out right, Like

1082
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: what yeah if you if if there's external things you

1083
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: can change or be better at, you know, working on

1084
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 1: because they make you feel good, great, do that, And

1085
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: also are there internal things that you need to reckon

1086
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: with or talk about or get to the root of,

1087
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 1: because the external things are not going to do anything.

1088
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: They're not going to change that part. Right, It's got

1089
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 1: to be inside out, and it's got to be whatever

1090
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: your version is. You can't you can't get that what

1091
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 1: the idea of that is from other people. You really can't.

1092
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 1: That's not you can. You can get it implanted when

1093
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: you're a little kid, Yeah, you can, certainly, like right,

1094
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: but like it's your job to deprogram yourself. It's your

1095
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 1: job to like on brainwash yourself from all that garbage

1096
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 1: that you might have been fed, like figure out actually

1097
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, uh huh yeah yeah, and get that social

1098
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: media off your get it off your doing and just

1099
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 1: put a dad.

1100
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 2: You're not on your iPad all the time, you know

1101
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 2: what I mean?

1102
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: No, you got to look for it. You gotta make

1103
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: sure it's charged.

1104
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, make sure it's charged. You gotta make sure it's

1105
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 2: not sticky if you have kids.

1106
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. More better. I what did you learn this season?

1107
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I what did I learn?

1108
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 2: I learned that my uh my headphones hurt if I

1109
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 2: wear them for longer than an hour. I learned that, uh,

1110
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 2: when I laugh really hard, you can see all the

1111
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 2: way back into the back of my uh throat and

1112
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 2: my feelings, which I'm trying not to do on camera

1113
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 2: as much because everybody loves to laugh joyously.

1114
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to be caught with their mouth open like

1115
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 1: a puppet. No. I learned that. You know.

1116
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 2: One of the reasons we decided to do this was

1117
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 2: when initially, I think, like when the writer's strike happened

1118
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 2: and then when the actors strike happened, to both of

1119
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 2: us were like, what can we do that is creatively

1120
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,240
Speaker 2: fulfilling over this time, and that's when we started kicking

1121
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 2: around the idea of doing this podcast. And then yeah,

1122
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: you know, having this time and space to be able

1123
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 2: to do this felt very grounding.

1124
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes it felt like.

1125
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I have to record today, and like I

1126
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 2: don't have any more energy, and I don't know where

1127
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pull it out.

1128
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 1: From my brain is bright, Yeah, yeah.

1129
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:41,240
Speaker 2: But in general I think it felt very grounding, and

1130
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 2: also I hope one of my hopes coming through this

1131
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 2: or out of this is like, you know, people, I

1132
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 2: think probably a lot of people that listened to this

1133
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:56,439
Speaker 2: found us because they were fans of Brooklyn nine nine,

1134
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 2: and like that is totally one part of us.

1135
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: And but you know, we're multifaceted. Barf, I've heard it.

1136
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: So but like you know, we're pretty I think both

1137
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 2: of us are interesting people and have interesting perspectives, and

1138
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 2: I think we're constantly both trying to like learn about,

1139
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,200
Speaker 2: like how I can get more better at this because

1140
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 2: like this is it, This is it. You only get

1141
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 2: one round at this at least in this body, you know, like,

1142
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 2: and so both of us are trying to be like,

1143
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 2: how do I do this life a little bit like better? Easier, softer, funner, funnier,

1144
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 2: whatever it is that week that you're focusing on, right,

1145
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 2: And I do think like.

1146
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 1: I do think that I'm oh.

1147
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 2: My god, am I getting my period? Like why am

1148
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 2: I like on the verge of crying again? Annoying?

1149
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 1: But like I do, I don't know what you're putting

1150
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 1: me on the verse.

1151
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 2: In some ways it really helps. It has helped me

1152
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 2: do that, right, Like we've both been through like very challenging,

1153
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 2: especially through work, challenging like things were like you know,

1154
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:09,160
Speaker 2: and in different ways, but like I think it I

1155
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 2: think some of the stuff that I've talked about with

1156
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 2: you on the podcast is like definitely made me go, like,

1157
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 2: take a breath, this isn't as serious as it feels

1158
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 2: like it might be in this moment, or like I

1159
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 2: know how to handle this because of this conversation that

1160
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 2: I had with Melissa.

1161
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, I think, And yeah, I think. The biggest

1162
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 1: thing I've come away with is, you know, I love

1163
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: this podcast is basically based on our dressing room talks

1164
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 1: because this is what we would do all the time

1165
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 1: and the importance of having a friend like that, which

1166
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful I have in you, but having and

1167
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:54,440
Speaker 1: I think hopefully everybody has that one friend that you

1168
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:58,960
Speaker 1: can connect with and just continue to like work on yourself,

1169
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 1: you know, And like that's always been such a strong

1170
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: connection between you and I, and I've loved it that

1171
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 1: this podcast has like brought it back into my life

1172
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 1: in a very big way, because, uh, it's like check ins.

1173
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 1: It's like you said, it's so grounding to go like, gosh,

1174
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 1: what would I do in this situation, or like how

1175
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 1: do I handle these things? Or what can how can

1176
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:26,480
Speaker 1: I be better at this? Because I want to do

1177
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:28,440
Speaker 1: that because like you said, life is fucking short. We

1178
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 1: got one shot at this in this body, and I

1179
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 1: don't wanna check out. I don't wanna just kinda And

1180
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 1: we have those phases of life for sure where we're

1181
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:43,400
Speaker 1: just like buried or busy or overwhelmed, or we just

1182
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: kind of or we're grieving or you know, whatever it

1183
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 1: may be, that we're just kind of like going through

1184
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 1: the motions. But I don't ever want to do that

1185
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 1: for too long. I wanna I want to be the

1186
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:57,720
Speaker 1: kind of person that always kind of checks in and goes, Okay,

1187
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 1: what's working here, what's not working here? Or what can

1188
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 1: be better? What can fall by the wayside? Like how

1189
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 1: do we make the most of this very short life

1190
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 1: you know and present? And I get to do that

1191
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 1: with you, and I'm very grateful for it. Now to

1192
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,960
Speaker 1: decrive and I'm not going to to do a little more.

1193
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 2: Do you feel a little more better after doing this

1194
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:22,160
Speaker 2: forty times? Forty times?

1195
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:27,920
Speaker 1: Forty times? Girl? Forty? I do? I really do. And

1196
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: also a huge I don't think we could have done

1197
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 1: forty of these without the help of our listeners sending

1198
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,680
Speaker 1: in suggestions and questions. That has become a huge part

1199
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 1: of this and thank you so much for giving us

1200
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 1: more topics and things to think about and digest and dissect.

1201
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 1: And you're as much a part of this as you

1202
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:56,640
Speaker 1: know as we are. Yeah, absolutely, yes, Yeah, Okay.

1203
01:05:58,560 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 2: A sea leader.

1204
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:06,080
Speaker 1: I'll see you later, Fred, Bye bye, More Better.

1205
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,479
Speaker 2: Do you have something you'd like to be more better

1206
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 2: at that you want us to talk about in a

1207
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 2: future episode?

1208
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 1: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

1209
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 1: one of our tips and tricks? Shoot us your thoughts

1210
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 1: and ideas at Morebetter pod at gmail dot com and

1211
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 1: include a voice note if you want to be featured

1212
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:21,480
Speaker 1: on the pod.

1213
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 2: Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from

1214
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 2: Wvsound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me, Steffie Beatriz,

1215
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 2: and Melissa Kumera. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid

1216
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 2: and Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama

1217
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:41,240
Speaker 2: and Leo Klem at Wvsound. This episode was edited by

1218
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 2: Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original

1219
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,760
Speaker 2: music by Madison Davenport and Heylo Boy. Our cover art

1220
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:51,040
Speaker 2: is by vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos. For

1221
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 2: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

1222
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,400
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you

1223
01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,400
Speaker 2: next week, Suga bye mm.

1224
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:08,200
Speaker 1: Hmmmmmm h oo. Tookitomas Mayhor