Speaker 1: Ring Ring, Ring Ring. It's episode two. Two guys, five rings,
Speaker 1: one podcast.
Speaker 2: What do you make of the title of this.
Speaker 1: I think it really says what the podcast is. There's
Speaker 1: two guys, me and you, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Speaker 1: There's five rings, which you explained to me, is the
Speaker 1: five sort of I'm putting in quotes continents that compete
Speaker 1: in the Olympics, which I was blown away by Oceania,
Speaker 1: And now I kind of think we should just kind
Speaker 1: of do five. I know there's technically seven, but I
Speaker 1: kind of like five.
Speaker 2: I like five, isn't Oceanya the name of the airline and.
Speaker 1: Lost Oceanic Airlines ocean Really happy that you said that
Speaker 1: Oceanic Airlines flight eight fifteen, that faded flight. You know,
Speaker 1: that plane went down and not everyone survived. But I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what, like it was a great show, great entertainment.
Speaker 2: Yes, please do your best in I'm gonna time it
Speaker 2: in thirty seconds. Explain the ending of Lost. Do you
Speaker 2: think you can do that?
Speaker 1: I can your time tis now. It's actually so basically Lost.
Speaker 1: The people class on the island, and at the end
Speaker 1: of the series you find out that you know, some
Speaker 1: of them actually did get off, but they go back
Speaker 1: to the island to sort of right their wrongs, and
Speaker 1: in doing so they it was really a religious allegory.
Speaker 2: And that's thirty seconds. I think that was the most
Speaker 2: concise explanation of Lost I've heard in my life.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you if you had gone back in
Speaker 1: time and told me when I was watching season one
Speaker 1: of Lost that it was going to end so badly
Speaker 1: that I would be unable to even really describe what happened,
Speaker 1: I would have been crushed. I was obsessed with Lost.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people were, gosh, keep forgetting this
Speaker 2: as an Olympics podcast.
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is like, that's sort of our whole thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, we're gonna get around the Olympics and see,
Speaker 1: it's not called five rings, two guys, it's called two
Speaker 1: guys five So you kind of have to get through
Speaker 1: us before we get to.
Speaker 2: The Olympics, and like it or not, we're here. We're
Speaker 2: the guys.
Speaker 1: You know who's not lost? All of the Olympians who
Speaker 1: qualified for the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics, they are found.
Speaker 1: They are found in their purpose, they are found in
Speaker 1: their drive. They are going.
Speaker 2: To really go for the gold, I'd say, I think
Speaker 2: they're all going for the goals and not for nothing.
Speaker 2: They're going for some of the brand partnerships too. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's just say it. These people want to shill for
Speaker 2: Ritz Crackers, for tag qeber watches, for a Coca Cola product,
Speaker 2: and we celebrate that.
Speaker 1: Thank you for speaking truth. Endorsement. Would you want as
Speaker 1: an Olympian? What would you want sort of you know,
Speaker 1: plaster all over your singlet on the side of your
Speaker 1: car or your mobile, Like, what do you want? Like,
Speaker 1: what do you want labeling you?
Speaker 2: This is so hard, This is really very hard. I'm
Speaker 2: going to follow my gut, Like I said, Ritz Crackers first,
Speaker 2: just now, I want I want Nabisco. I want anything Nabisco.
Speaker 1: That would be so funny. You first of all, you
Speaker 1: being cookie branded, I think is exactly right, Cracker branded, Cracker. Oh,
Speaker 1: Nibisco's not cookies.
Speaker 2: Well, nibsco is cookies. I'm sorry, but I'm leading with
Speaker 2: Rits like Rits is my favorite and Nibisco really slayed
Speaker 2: that with Rits.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. I would want
Speaker 1: to be sponsored by Sprite. Oh, Sprite, I think would
Speaker 1: be a real I want to bring back sprite, and
Speaker 1: I also think those colors would and everyone away.
Speaker 2: I think you're right. I drink it every day, do you?
Speaker 2: Actually not every day, but it's famously my favorite drink
Speaker 2: in the world.
Speaker 1: Now, can I ask you a question? And I really
Speaker 1: knew the answer to this is sprite and seven up
Speaker 1: the same thing.
Speaker 2: It's slightly different for me. It's a Pepsi coke situation, right,
Speaker 2: It's like the formulations are slightly different, they have different Gosh,
Speaker 2: it's so interesting. I could write a whole movie about
Speaker 2: soda manufacturing.
Speaker 1: You should. There's a big demand for that.
Speaker 2: Well in a post Barbie landscape. I think what's coming
Speaker 2: next is the soda movie? Is the Coca Cola movie?
Speaker 1: Didn't we talk about doing coc Cola the movie.
Speaker 2: I pitched you a Coca Cola the movie idea, and
Speaker 2: I'm really plud.
Speaker 1: To did that. I think there's huge brand recognition there.
Speaker 1: Huge Everyone knows it. Everyone knows that, but no one
Speaker 1: knows the story. And that we would say that was
Speaker 1: a real little culture if this was our podcast, but
Speaker 1: we cannot.
Speaker 2: We cannot.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows Coca Cola, but no one knows the story.
Speaker 1: Now you would do spray. Why sprite, Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: also think the word sprite would encourage me to go fast,
Speaker 1: like you're a sprite. You know, you feel very light,
Speaker 1: you feel very like.
Speaker 2: It's a great word.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel energetically that it would do
Speaker 1: wonders for me up here. And you know, it's all mental.
Speaker 1: It's all sports is all mental. I should reveal at
Speaker 1: this time I actually am the child of a coach. Father. Yes,
Speaker 1: my father, Richard Rodgers, was a varsity football and baseball
Speaker 1: coach for forty years.
Speaker 2: One of the great coaches of Long Island.
Speaker 1: One of the great coaches of Long Island. Was referred
Speaker 1: to as a defensive genius. Okay, he was a defensive coordinator,
Speaker 1: and he's very good at what he does. And if
Speaker 1: I know something, it's that sports are all mental. You
Speaker 1: gotta get your head in the game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, As Zach efron Win said.
Speaker 1: Boy, he say it. He's saying it. He's saying it,
Speaker 1: gets your head in the game. One of the great
Speaker 1: sports songs.
Speaker 2: One of the great sports songs. Your dad is a
Speaker 2: defensive genius.
Speaker 1: So he was a defensive coordinator.
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: That was his position as a coach. When he did
Speaker 1: foot and he was referred to as a defensive genius.
Speaker 1: I mean that's what he said. I don't believe football
Speaker 1: is an Olympic sport.
Speaker 2: No, it should be just fine. Well, apple doesn't fall
Speaker 2: far from the tree because you're defensive and sometimes you're
Speaker 2: a genius.
Speaker 1: Drag me on the pod.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's very.
Speaker 1: Alphabet Glenda Codd. This is very what is this feeling?
Speaker 2: What is this feeling?
Speaker 1: Loathing?
Speaker 2: Now now that we've gotten brand partnerships.
Speaker 1: Out of the way, yeah, this is That was the
Speaker 1: two guys part.
Speaker 2: That was the two guys part. Now let's talk about
Speaker 2: the five rings. Okay, yeah, today we are talking about
Speaker 2: our top athletes to watch for the twenty twenty four
Speaker 2: Paris Olympic Games. There's a lot of people, yeah, a
Speaker 2: lot of people competing.
Speaker 1: So many people competing this year.
Speaker 2: How did whittle it down to three, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 1: Incredibly difficult to whittle it down to three? And we
Speaker 1: kind of did, kind of didn't like, there's a lot
Speaker 1: going on here. It was very hard. On the last episode,
Speaker 1: we talked a ton about Simone Biles, and it's hard
Speaker 1: to say that she is not the star of the games, like,
Speaker 1: she's definitely, you know, at least if you're an American
Speaker 1: and you are, you know, supporting America in these games
Speaker 1: not a given, not a given. I remember years ago
Speaker 1: when those Canadian doubles figure skaters were competing. You remember
Speaker 1: those dolls.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, those were really great.
Speaker 1: That was a whole scandal. Oh it would be really
Speaker 1: good to have a good, solid Olympic scandal this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what would that be?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want it to be dark,
Speaker 1: but I do want it to be to have intrigue,
Speaker 1: Like I don't I don't necessarily want a Nancy Kerrigan
Speaker 1: Tanya Harding situation, but I don't not want that.
Speaker 2: Well, let's remove anything criminal, sure, Like I would love
Speaker 2: if this Burlett if there was like a Housewives esque
Speaker 2: a fun l like Ives esque thing, like a Reality
Speaker 2: Vontee situation.
Speaker 1: Like we don't know why, but Simone Biles just goes
Speaker 1: up to Katie Lady at the opening ceremony, points her
Speaker 1: finger in her face and goes, you owe me an apology,
Speaker 1: And she goes, I was not trying to sabotage your event.
Speaker 1: She goes, you were trying to sabotage my event. And
Speaker 1: by an event, they don't even mean any of the
Speaker 1: gymnasts like stuff. They mean like it was a cocktail
Speaker 1: party that they had prior to the opening ceremony. I
Speaker 1: was supposed to be for all the top Olympus grillies
Speaker 1: and next, so let's just say one of them is
Speaker 1: left out. I would love to hear about the drama
Speaker 1: behind that, you know, So Simone, like, have we talked
Speaker 1: about her enough? I mean, again, I don't want to
Speaker 1: put too much pressure on her, but I think.
Speaker 2: I already know the answer to this, what if she
Speaker 2: performs well under pressure? But I think that's kind of
Speaker 2: when the Twisties came in in Tokyo, was when she
Speaker 2: was feeling a lot of pressure, us being like, can
Speaker 2: this olympian who's won seven Olympic.
Speaker 1: Medals perform under pressure? Let's look, I don't, we don't know,
Speaker 1: we don't know the twisties once.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, we haven't lifted a damn limb for any sporting
Speaker 2: event in decades.
Speaker 1: No, remember, wait were you? Did you play on the
Speaker 1: softball team that we sort of did in college?
Speaker 2: Didn't? I came to watch in support and clap, but
Speaker 2: you guys were all very.
Speaker 1: I remember when you came and washed and supported and clapped.
Speaker 1: I was playing. I think that was the last time
Speaker 1: I grabbed a baseball bat.
Speaker 2: Oh god, you know what, I genuinely want to do
Speaker 2: what I want to join a volleyball league back in
Speaker 2: New York, But I just don't have the time. And once,
Speaker 2: you know, once I have some free time in the future.
Speaker 1: We should do doubles beach volleyball.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that would be so fun.
Speaker 1: We should. We should figure it out to play doubles.
Speaker 1: Do you play tennis for the Olympics.
Speaker 2: I can tell you something. Freshman year of high school,
Speaker 2: lowest ranking person on the JV ladder for men's tennis.
Speaker 1: Well, that's not good.
Speaker 2: I was so bad at it, terrible, but I appreciate
Speaker 2: the sport.
Speaker 1: You don't think now you'd be better?
Speaker 2: No, no, not at all. Why would I be better?
Speaker 2: My joints are falling apart. Would any better?
Speaker 1: It is so true what they say. I mean, it's interesting,
Speaker 1: like when you're a little kid and you hear them
Speaker 1: talking about like, well, you know, she's twenty six, which
Speaker 1: is geriatric, fri a gymnast, And then you hit your
Speaker 1: late twenties, early thirties and you realize, Wow, it's not
Speaker 1: the same. I go to Barries three times a week.
Speaker 1: I feel like my body is disintegrating from the inside out.
Speaker 1: I used to run a four to thirty six mile.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, at the age of sixteen.
Speaker 2: Just goes to show, just.
Speaker 1: Goes to show. Your body goes. Hey, if you're out
Speaker 1: there listening, do something with your body now, because every
Speaker 1: day you're aging, every single day, every single second. As
Speaker 1: you listen to this, your body is giving up. So
Speaker 1: use it, use it.
Speaker 2: And there is nothing more important than your health. No,
Speaker 2: I mean it.
Speaker 1: Go to the doctor like a gay man. I say
Speaker 1: that to everyone every three months. You need to be
Speaker 1: at the doctor. Listen. You signed up for Matt Rogers
Speaker 1: and Bowen Yang. But back to someone Miles. Some moan
Speaker 1: be careful out there.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But you know the thing about the Olympic village is
Speaker 1: they do absolutely you know, I've heard there's condoms.
Speaker 2: Everywhere, and that is actually the global experience that the
Speaker 2: Olympics can give. And no matter where you are from
Speaker 2: in the world, no matter what event you are playing in,
Speaker 2: even if you're not even playing in the games, but
Speaker 2: you just happen to be cruising in the Olympic village.
Speaker 2: Use a condom.
Speaker 1: Use a damn condom. Okay, because we don't know where
Speaker 1: the sabotage begins and ends. Okay, and let's talk about this.
Speaker 1: We know there's been some shady all right in the past.
Speaker 1: Like not gonna say too much because I don't want
Speaker 1: to put target on my back, But there might be
Speaker 1: some countries out there we don't like America so much,
Speaker 1: and they might be trying to sabotage our athletes. They
Speaker 1: might be sending in people, you know, sort of crawling
Speaker 1: with the stuff, and they're they're trying to needcap us
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. So finish your events. That would be
Speaker 1: my advice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't get Jeff Galulid in the bedroom, honey.
Speaker 1: Don't get me started on Jeff Blully. Simone I think
Speaker 1: is going to do great. I just want everyone to
Speaker 1: leave her alone until she does the events, because you know,
Speaker 1: she could potentially tie the all time gold medal record
Speaker 1: by a female athlete, and that's of any country. Okay,
Speaker 1: It's just there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2: Let's just quickly run through some of the numbers. She
Speaker 2: needs more than four to break the all time gold
Speaker 2: medal record by a US woman, Jenny Thompson swimming at eight,
Speaker 2: needs one medal of any color to break the tie
Speaker 2: with Shinnon Miller for most Olympic medals by a US
Speaker 2: gymnast at seven.
Speaker 1: Were going to do that. She's going to do that.
Speaker 1: I'm she's going to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, needs more than one gold medal to break the
Speaker 2: record for most Olympic gold medals by a US gymnast
Speaker 2: at five of any gender. No, I think she. I
Speaker 2: think she'll probably, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, no pressure on her, but I think she will
Speaker 1: do all this stuff. Not to say it'll be incredibly
Speaker 1: disappointing and and will all feel not as good if
Speaker 1: she doesn't do this. But again, no pressure, all the
Speaker 1: most decorated, you know, female athlete of all time, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Like, just have fun. Just have fun.
Speaker 2: That's the least you can do.
Speaker 1: She's twenty seven years old, and can you believe they're
Speaker 1: calling her old? Can? First of all, you couldn't pay
Speaker 1: me to go back to being twenty seven? Okay. The
Speaker 1: return to Saturn not a million dollars. No, No, Simona
Speaker 1: is going through her return to Saturn like next week.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm saying, go easy on Simone. There's
Speaker 1: a lot going on the basically what's happening in Simone Biles'
Speaker 1: life right now And you can find this out if
Speaker 1: you listen to any media that RuPaul is a part
Speaker 1: of or Ariana Grande's new album. The position of Saturn
Speaker 1: right now is in the same exact spot it was
Speaker 1: when Simone was born. This is astrology and this really
Speaker 1: does factor into the games. Yes, so she is under
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure. There is a lot of upheaval
Speaker 1: in her life astrologically, the stars the way they're positioned,
Speaker 1: like win loser draw in these games. Simone Biles is
Speaker 1: about to be taken on the ride of her life astrologically,
Speaker 1: and that has to be respected. Leave her alone. There
Speaker 1: is a lot going on. Take the pressure off her.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you for saying that. I think we're coming
Speaker 2: off of cancer season when the Olympics will be on
Speaker 2: going into I don't know what the season after that.
Speaker 1: Is Gemini No, wait, no, that's wrong with Gemini's.
Speaker 2: Now now it's Gemini into cancer?
Speaker 1: Is it? Leo? Leo?
Speaker 2: It might be Leo.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a lot of performative stuff.
Speaker 2: If files been to the metal of any color she
Speaker 2: will be the oldest US woman to win an Olympic
Speaker 2: gymnastics medal since nineteen forty eight. This age thing is
Speaker 2: really tripping me up.
Speaker 1: Twenty seven years old and old. Twenty seven years old
Speaker 1: and she's elderly. They're ready to toss her. That's what
Speaker 1: they do to women.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not Simone. Don't count her out. No, I
Speaker 2: think Simone is gonna have a bright future.
Speaker 1: Well, she's certainly got that star quality. You know, how
Speaker 1: tall would you say she is?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say four foot ten she is four eight.
Speaker 1: Wow, she's a little slip of a thing. She's a
Speaker 1: little nothing.
Speaker 2: I think she's gonna be very, very important to no
Speaker 2: espionage efforts.
Speaker 1: Four eight. I can't. I can't. My mind can't wrap
Speaker 1: around that.
Speaker 2: Four eight Does that make sense? Like she can really
Speaker 2: sneak in.
Speaker 1: There, diva. She's Simone Biles. She can get into anything
Speaker 1: because she's a decorated, world renowned athlete. She's cutting the
Speaker 1: line at the club. This is yeah, yeah, hi, I'm Simone. Hey, Simone,
Speaker 1: we're so honored that you're here. It's not even like
Speaker 1: we're so happy you're here or you're on the list.
Speaker 1: It's You're honored, You're honored. What a chik name, too, Simone, what.
Speaker 2: A chek name. Now, let's talk about another chic person.
Speaker 1: In the water. Oh to be shekh in the water?
Speaker 1: Not since Selena Gomez have we seen someone so chak
Speaker 1: in the water. That is my That is what came
Speaker 1: out of my mouth just now, because I meant, did
Speaker 1: you see a single student video with Selena Gomez?
Speaker 2: Is that when she was chic in the water.
Speaker 1: You've never seen anyone look better in the water than
Speaker 1: Selena Gomez. I swear to God, if only she could
Speaker 1: swim competitively, that would be something to watch. But well,
Speaker 1: we have Katie La Ducky.
Speaker 2: We wouldn't even be talking about Katie l Ducky if
Speaker 2: Selena Koonez could swim. Give bet.
Speaker 1: I would love if one of the pop girlies just
Speaker 1: made a hard pivot to Olympics.
Speaker 2: It's like when I'm Mike White was on Survivor.
Speaker 1: It's sort of just like that.
Speaker 2: You don't have to be doing this.
Speaker 1: Oh lookod for you? Certainly not. No, Mike White had
Speaker 1: no right being as good at Survivor as he was.
Speaker 1: Came in second place. Did you know that?
Speaker 2: It's very impressive. And now you do remind me I
Speaker 2: have not seen his season.
Speaker 1: You should watch his season. It's wild.
Speaker 2: I think Katie Ladeki will be not the Mike White
Speaker 2: of the Olympics. No, but whoever beat Mike White in
Speaker 2: his season of Survivor. But we can't control these people's lives.
Speaker 1: No, no, but we can influence them Katie. Katie needs
Speaker 1: three medals to become the second most decorated US Olympian
Speaker 1: of all time after Michael Phelps. Can we just get
Speaker 1: into that for a second, like this is Michael Phelps
Speaker 1: has twenty eight Olympic medals. If Katie gets three, she'll
Speaker 1: get to that two spot, which means, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is major, this is history.
Speaker 2: Which means if she gets two gold medals, she ties
Speaker 2: for all time gold medals for a female athlete at nine,
Speaker 2: which is wild to me. How are you as a swimmer,
Speaker 2: It was okay. I don't have to build for it.
Speaker 2: My torso is too short, my legs are too short.
Speaker 2: I just don't have I'm not, as I said to
Speaker 2: your last episode, I don't have the litheness that is
Speaker 2: required of a swimmer to succeed.
Speaker 1: You have so much strength, though, and I mean that
Speaker 1: in every sense of the word. You have so much
Speaker 1: strength to you. Thank you, and so do you. I
Speaker 1: only see myself reflected in my sister. We are so
Speaker 1: emotional and the Olympics haven't even started, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like we're already emotional, Like Bowen and I
Speaker 1: are crying right now on the podcast, and it's just
Speaker 1: because we we know what it takes. We know what
Speaker 1: it takes.
Speaker 2: I bet if we put our mind to it, we
Speaker 2: could be We could be Olympians.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you we need to figure out is it.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not tennis, because you're saying tennis has been
Speaker 1: for you. I think it's beach volleyball. I think me
Speaker 1: and you beach volleyball is not only something that could
Speaker 1: be fun, but it's something that could really pop off.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think we write the movie. I think
Speaker 2: it's like Forget Top Gun, Like we're writing a whole
Speaker 2: movie about beach volleyball.
Speaker 1: And do we call it Sandy Boys?
Speaker 2: I think we have to.
Speaker 1: No, that's a first idea.
Speaker 2: No, I think we have. No, it's the right idea.
Speaker 1: Can we say, just for everyone out there listening, this
Speaker 1: is just advice for us. First idea always is the best.
Speaker 1: Go with it. If you're a creative, if you're someone
Speaker 1: who's writer, performer, performer, the first idea is always the best.
Speaker 1: Always go with your first idea.
Speaker 2: And anytime you hear someone say that seems very first thought,
Speaker 2: that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, just be like, yes it is, and
Speaker 1: then be encouraged.
Speaker 2: And then that's your press story. That's the press tour story.
Speaker 2: It was the first idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to talk about one more diva and
Speaker 1: it's Shakarry Richardson to carry h Carry. Now. We talked
Speaker 1: about how we were looking forward to seeing some drama.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see any drama when it comes
Speaker 1: to Sha Carry, because, as we know, she was disqualified
Speaker 1: for testing positive for marijuana at the twenty twenty Olympic Trials.
Speaker 1: But she enjoyed a breakout season in twenty twenty three,
Speaker 1: complete with a one hundred meters world title. She's a
Speaker 1: sprinter where she defeated the Jamaican favorites, like she just
Speaker 1: really crushed it and she should have been in those
Speaker 1: twenty twenty games and it was huge mess when she
Speaker 1: was disqualified.
Speaker 2: Well, can I just say the thing about shure like
Speaker 2: literally any other drug, she's out right yeah. But marijuana.
Speaker 2: It's like if she can still win like from a weed. Hello,
Speaker 2: you would all be shaking in your boots, shuddering at
Speaker 2: the thought of her running without weed in her system.
Speaker 1: Come on now, it's like, weed is not going to
Speaker 1: make you faster. Trust us. If you can trust us
Speaker 1: on one thing, it's that we'd slows you down. And
Speaker 1: if Sha Carrie wants to do a little reefer, if
Speaker 1: she wants to get a little reefer, madness letter, but
Speaker 1: she's only hurting herself. It's not like she's giving herselfs
Speaker 1: a performance enhancing drug. I would love to see it.
Speaker 1: If that, If Mary want to wear a performance enhancing drug,
Speaker 1: we would be in the Olympics. We wouldn't need to
Speaker 1: be talking about our beach volleyball thing. We would be
Speaker 1: doing it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, honey. If watching X Men ninety seven,
Speaker 2: say it was an Olympics sport while I was off
Speaker 2: my ass, I'd be winning gold.
Speaker 1: Baby. If you made having opinions on Bravos the Valley
Speaker 1: while Stone, I would be Katie Ladecki right now, second
Speaker 1: only to Michael Phelps. Only Michael Phelps did you know,
Speaker 1: years ago, I did a sketch where I played Michael Phelps,
Speaker 1: and the game of the sketch, which is that was
Speaker 1: just the little shop talk. The game meaning the comedic idea.
Speaker 1: The central bit of the sketch was that he was
Speaker 1: chowing down on McDonald's, and they practically made me eat
Speaker 1: the McDonald's again and again and again. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the concept of like miming the food. I had to
Speaker 1: sit when I played Michael Phelps in a sketch, And
Speaker 1: how do you even do that? I mean, like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I ate a ton of McDonald's. And
Speaker 1: I'll never forgive Michael Phelps for his diet for what
Speaker 1: it did to me in a comedic sketch. It's untenable. Oh,
Speaker 1: he should be tried for crimes, criminal court, criminal court.
Speaker 1: He should go to criminal court for marijuana offenses as
Speaker 1: it relates to McDonald's consumption after the fact, as.
Speaker 2: It relates to Matt Rogers playing him in a sketch
Speaker 2: where the game, as in the central communic idea of
Speaker 2: the sketch was that he had to eat a bit.
Speaker 1: Of showers down. He had just wrapped up his events.
Speaker 1: He hit up McDonald's, which I get it.
Speaker 2: We do want to mention one more athlete this I
Speaker 2: think you're gonna like this one. Matt Okay, Caleb Dressel
Speaker 2: sweety hotty?
Speaker 1: Is he a hotty? Let me look it up.
Speaker 2: I think he's gonna be like the first sort of
Speaker 2: object for a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Hold on a second. Yeah, I just google, like, I
Speaker 1: just googled him and I have a big crush on him.
Speaker 2: Now, well, there you go. That's all it takes. Listen,
Speaker 2: he took a big break. He's he just had a kid.
Speaker 2: He is living in a sweet, sweet life, and he
Speaker 2: is he lives on a farm. He works on a farm.
Speaker 1: This person would have ruined my life in middle school,
Speaker 1: Apollo Anton, Oh.
Speaker 2: No, oh no, I say, oh no.
Speaker 1: This guy would have taken over.
Speaker 2: It would have been Caleb Caleb. Caleb Caleb is very special.
Speaker 2: And look here he's wearing a speedo in this People magazine.
Speaker 1: Shoot. He's really going for it. Oh my god. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. It's like, I just Olympics. They give you
Speaker 1: perfect specimens of human beings. Like remember just watching like
Speaker 1: as a kid and being like, oh yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: a body can look. You don't see them. They don't
Speaker 1: make them like this unless they're Olympics.
Speaker 2: They don't make them like this.
Speaker 1: You don't see these Kala Dressel types.
Speaker 2: No, you don't see these types. Also another mental health
Speaker 2: king took a long break, took a nine month break
Speaker 2: after twenty twenty two Worlds to focus on his mental health. Like,
Speaker 2: this is someone who knows his priorities. This and also
Speaker 2: I'm rooting for Cale, I'm rooting for him too. Do
Speaker 2: you see his massive leg tattoo? What's the tattoo?
Speaker 1: It is a full, full tattoo like that covers his
Speaker 1: entire right leg. Google this, get Google images out. And
Speaker 1: by the way, thank you j Lo for wearing the
Speaker 1: Versace dress in the late nineties. So we even have
Speaker 1: Google images because we wouldn't have it without j Loo.
Speaker 1: So I know Jlo. It's going to a rough moment
Speaker 1: right now. She had to cancel the tour. But pay
Speaker 1: some respect to Jaylo because she's the reason why we
Speaker 1: have Google images and we can google Caleb Dressel's full
Speaker 1: leg tattoo.
Speaker 2: Which have you seen it? It's a lot of line art.
Speaker 1: Listen. I'm not saying I love the design. I'm saying
Speaker 1: I've never seen this on an Olympic swimmer before. Badass vibes. Caleb.
Speaker 1: We love you, Caleb, we love you. We're obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: We want to invite you to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2: In the Olympic village, you're gonna be bored, so come
Speaker 2: and talk to us.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be temptations though. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2: No, no, because.
Speaker 1: If I'm in the Olympic village, I'll tell you who.
Speaker 1: I'm slipping a note mister Dressel. I'm saying, Hi, it's
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. And then we take hands and
Speaker 1: I put a little note in his hands and it
Speaker 1: says my room number.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's how you got it.
Speaker 1: That's how I flirt, Hi, how are you? I slipped
Speaker 1: them a little note, tiny handwritten note. We remember before
Speaker 1: we were like, we want drama. Get this. Depending on
Speaker 1: his performance in Paris, he could become the second most
Speaker 1: decorated US Olympian, depending on how Katie Leadecki does. So
Speaker 1: remember when we said like men and women weren't competing,
Speaker 1: they actually are in terms of the history books. Who
Speaker 1: is going to become the second most decorated US Olympian
Speaker 1: after Michael Phelps? It be Caleb Dressel or Katie Ladaki. Wow,
Speaker 1: what and now the Housewives moment we were watching for.
Speaker 2: This is the Housewives moments we were wishing for. Forget
Speaker 2: Billy Jean King and that other guy. This is the
Speaker 2: Battle of the Sexes we've been waiting for.
Speaker 1: By the way, really underrated a good movie.
Speaker 2: I didn't see it.
Speaker 1: You have so many sports movies to watch. You have
Speaker 1: to watch Bendett like Beckham, and you have to watch
Speaker 1: Battle of a Sexist. Otherwise, you can't claim to be
Speaker 1: a fan of Kieran Knightley or Emma Stone.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is starting to go a little too far
Speaker 2: for you to question Left. The podcast is officially gone
Speaker 2: left episode two, and you question my fandom of these
Speaker 2: actors and actresses, you have got another thing coming.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you offline. I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you offline. And I'm pointing we're gonna wrap
Speaker 1: this pockcast up and then I need to talk to
Speaker 1: you offline. This is the way you treated me today,
Speaker 1: very very unacceptable. Let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2: And let's give the metals out. Okay, bronze, bronze, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna give my bronze to Oh, This.
Speaker 1: Is so hard. This is hard. You know what, I
Speaker 1: think we have four I think we have to just
Speaker 1: leave someone out of it because we don't want to
Speaker 1: preasure her.
Speaker 2: Okay, but okay, we've got gold, silver, and bronze. Let's
Speaker 2: do palladium. Palladium metal is going to be our fourth medal.
Speaker 2: Fourth place palladium. I'm gonna give to Katie Ladeci.
Speaker 1: Okay, you've taken a side in the Ladecki vers Dressel
Speaker 1: fake war. We're making up about who's going to become
Speaker 1: the second most decorated Olympian.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna give. And you can disagree with me
Speaker 2: if you want. I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1: I don't, I won't.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give bronze to Kleab.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, what took him out of the running for
Speaker 1: silver and gold? Because all he did, all he did
Speaker 1: was show up, make us a little h word, be
Speaker 1: a great dad, have an interesting tattoo, and be an
Speaker 1: amazing athlete. So I don't understand, well, I don't understand.
Speaker 2: That's a diamond dozen to me. There are straight fathers
Speaker 2: who look hot with tattoos all over the world. I
Speaker 2: can tell you that. Okay, I'm in Vancouver, Canada right now,
Speaker 2: and they are everywhere lucky.
Speaker 1: So that's why.
Speaker 2: And the reason I gave him Bronx is because between
Speaker 2: Sha Carry and Simone, I go, this is tough.
Speaker 1: Because Shakira got to give Simone the silver.
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, we're giving Simona silver because
Speaker 2: we can't give her too much pressure with gold. Sha
Speaker 2: Carry is going to wew us in Paris. I know it.
Speaker 1: Sha Carry, you spiritually have won the gold medal on
Speaker 1: this podcast because we're giving you the gold medal that
Speaker 1: you deserved in twenty twenty. Because these squares couldn't take
Speaker 1: you should carry us to victory. Shake carry us to victory.
Speaker 1: And now that you're off the stuff, you're gonna run
Speaker 1: so fast. First of all, can I say this is
Speaker 1: because a lot of people need to smoke weed to
Speaker 1: manage their anxiety. Yeah, okay, And actually it's medicinal. And
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous and I'm so tired of squares. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Can I say something? Yeah, rub some THHC.
Speaker 1: You know who? It was kind of anti marijuana. My
Speaker 1: own father, and he had very bad knees and I
Speaker 1: bought him. It's like this THC. Like rub like this
Speaker 1: vix rub it's THHC or it must be CBD. I
Speaker 1: don't know, Hun. I think it was like THHG but
Speaker 1: he put it on his knee. Pain no more. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm saying THHD can be very helpful in terms of like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's medicinal. I just I hate the
Speaker 1: way this went down. So she Carri wins our gold
Speaker 1: medal on this episode. She is what we are looking
Speaker 1: forward to the most. We want her redemption, we want
Speaker 1: her reputation restored, We want victory for her. We know
Speaker 1: we will see it. She is going and galvanized and not.
Speaker 2: High, and I hope that for all of us, really,
Speaker 2: all in all situations in life.
Speaker 1: Can I be honest with you? Can I be totally transparent?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 1: It's Saturday, it's twelve thirty PM. I might smoke some, Shakarry.
Speaker 2: It's the smoke hour, as Willie Nelson put it.
Speaker 1: I tell you something. You know who is very proud
Speaker 1: of sha carry Beyonce.
Speaker 2: I have no doubt.
Speaker 1: There is no doubt Shakarry is getting.
Speaker 2: The Beyonce flowers, the bouquet that Beyonce sends two people
Speaker 2: every now and then. She deserves it.
Speaker 1: There's no question who deserves those flowers. And it's sugary.
Speaker 2: It's sha Carry and Simone and Katie and Caleb.
Speaker 1: All the four, whether they're palladium, bronze, silver or gold.
Speaker 1: We are watching these four and we're watching all of
Speaker 1: the Olympians. And this has been our episode that really
Speaker 1: zeros in on the top girls. So now you the listener,
Speaker 1: you know who to be watching.
Speaker 2: These are the four. There might be more, and there
Speaker 2: might be there will be more. A Galuley that man
Speaker 2: is forty four.
Speaker 1: God, it really it wasn't a good moment when I
Speaker 1: realized I wanted to be you know, well, that was
Speaker 1: actually the first time I ever saw Sebastian stan So
Speaker 1: just another reason why Itanya was a great film. Listen,
Speaker 1: next episode, we're gonna be getting into the Olympic village.
Speaker 2: I'm excited.
Speaker 1: And if you thought that this podcast has already been
Speaker 1: fixated on zex, just know that there's more coming. Sex sells, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's what tells. It's what got us this podcast. I
Speaker 1: took one look at us, they said we need these
Speaker 1: two hotties.
Speaker 2: H I sent Torso shots to the producer.
Speaker 1: Of both of us Ooh, you can't send photos of
Speaker 1: me like that. It got us the gulner ball. Watch
Speaker 1: every moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics beginning
Speaker 1: July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock, and for the
Speaker 1: first time, you can stream the twenty twenty four Paris
Speaker 1: games on the iHeartRadio app and listen to two Guys
Speaker 1: five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts and wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcast bo should we taken out with
Speaker 1: the Olympics theme? Yes, woo a little. The Bot Books
Speaker 1: Book of the Bo