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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships.

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Speaker 2: It's the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson.

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Speaker 1: My friend Melissa Scambalori.

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Speaker 2: Could I do it?

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Speaker 3: You got it?

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Speaker 1: Yes, practice, we were just sitting here. This is the

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Speaker 1: fun part about having a podcast because first of all,

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Speaker 1: get to meet all these amazing healers and then I've

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Speaker 1: become friends with them, and so you and I have

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Speaker 1: been sitting here for the last half hour just catching

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Speaker 1: up and talking and it's I mean, we could literally

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Speaker 1: do that all day. I was like, we got to

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Speaker 1: actually start recording. But I know, I'm so glad you're here.

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Speaker 1: You've actually been here before. You were here with your

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Speaker 1: fiance Jake Wodard, who's also been on the podcast multiple times.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to have you on and talk through

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Speaker 1: obviously your story and then kind of connect with the

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Speaker 1: feminine energy aspect of all this masculine and feminine energy

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Speaker 1: work that you guys do and that y'all have taught

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Speaker 1: me about. So first of all, I'm happy you're here.

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Speaker 3: Hi. Oh my Hi, I'm so glad.

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Speaker 4: When you contact me about it, I'm like, yes, I

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Speaker 4: want to chat with her and have like girl talk

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Speaker 4: and yeah, and go a little deeper into you know,

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Speaker 4: the stuff that women in this world really need.

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Speaker 3: To connect to and allow themselves to feel again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was just kind of telling you how

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Speaker 1: integral even connecting with the body, which is something that

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Speaker 1: you've taught me, has been to like a part of

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Speaker 1: my healing in the last year. And I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about when I was really thinking about talking to you,

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Speaker 1: I was like, what is it that really drives me

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Speaker 1: to connect with Melissa's work? And you know that thing

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Speaker 1: that people say where it's like you find people who

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Speaker 1: you want what they have and then you like follow them.

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Speaker 1: And so I see in you things that I want,

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Speaker 1: like the way that you're connected to your own inner

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Speaker 1: knowing and your soul and all of that has been

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Speaker 1: through a process of hardships and life and all this stuff,

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Speaker 1: and you've done the work and then you've gotten to

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Speaker 1: this result. And so I'm like, well, I want what

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Speaker 1: she has, so I'm gonna go like, and it really

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Speaker 1: draws me to your content because I connect with it,

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Speaker 1: you know, and there's such a part of your story

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Speaker 1: that's like, well, the reason you know how to say

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Speaker 1: all this stuff is because of what you've been through

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Speaker 1: to get here, So tell us let's got let's go back.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk to the listeners a little bit about how

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Speaker 1: did you get here? What did your life look like?

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Speaker 1: Because you have an interesting story because you were an

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Speaker 1: American idol and all this stuff.

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Speaker 2: That people would be like, what, so talk us through

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Speaker 2: all that.

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Speaker 4: Well, first, I have to say that was like the

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Speaker 4: nicest compliment, So thank you for that.

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Speaker 3: I really I will allow myself to perceive that, and

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Speaker 3: I appreciate that.

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Speaker 4: So I grew up as a little girl who performed

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Speaker 4: and was singing and dancing for her parents.

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Speaker 3: All the time. I wasn't I wasn't afraid of anything.

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Speaker 4: I was expressive and creative, and I remember as I

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Speaker 4: started to grow up.

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Speaker 3: I was in musical theater and I just loved music.

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Speaker 4: I loved creating things and performing and making people smile

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Speaker 4: and helping others things like that. As I grew up

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Speaker 4: and became like a teenager, then it kind of set

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Speaker 4: in that that wasn't really the cool thing in the

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Speaker 4: group of girls that I hung out with, and so

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Speaker 4: I so desperately wanted to fit in, and so I

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Speaker 4: kind of quieted a lot of parts of myself down

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Speaker 4: that were into imagination and my creativity and tried to

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Speaker 4: be the cool girl and to be honest looking back

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Speaker 4: at it. Even though I have been involved in music

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Speaker 4: and performing up until now, still I've quieted down so

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Speaker 4: many parts of myself until maybe about four years ago

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Speaker 4: when I started to really crack open and allow myself

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Speaker 4: to fully embrace who I was as a woman, who

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Speaker 4: I was, as a lover, who I was, as every

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Speaker 4: aspect of myself.

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Speaker 3: So I moved to New York City right after American Idol.

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Speaker 4: I auditioned for that show in oh gosh, two thousand,

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Speaker 4: maybe six or seven.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, I didn't realize it was that long.

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Speaker 3: It was a long time.

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Speaker 1: Early in that show's run.

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Speaker 4: It was it was like season six or something. I

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Speaker 4: think it was season six. And I made it through.

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Speaker 4: I did the whole Hollywood thing. Actually I auditioned in Memphis, Tennessee. Okay,

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Speaker 4: So I made it through and then I got to

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Speaker 4: the top forty and I got cut. And so the

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Speaker 4: way that reality TV works is you're under contract. So

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Speaker 4: I was under contract for a while. But after that

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Speaker 4: duration of that year contract, I moved to New York

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Speaker 4: City and I started pursuing songwriting and music and all that.

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Speaker 4: So a lot of years passed and I lived there,

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Speaker 4: and I've moved different parts of the world, kind of

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Speaker 4: pursuing this dream of music. And it's funny because all

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Speaker 4: of the relationships that I've been in, all the places

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Speaker 4: that I've traveled, kind of showed me more about myself.

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Speaker 4: I just wasn't really open to it, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: So I can distinctly remember living in New York and

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Speaker 3: I had a good job.

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Speaker 4: I worked at a recording studio, I was songwriting, I

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Speaker 4: had really great friends. But I would wake up like

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Speaker 4: a couple times, maybe three four times a month, really

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Speaker 4: set really depressed, and I didn't know what was wrong.

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Speaker 4: It was just the whole day I was like stuck

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Speaker 4: in my bed.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, what is wrong with me?

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Speaker 4: Like everything just seems so good, everything seems so great,

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Speaker 4: but something wasn't right and I couldn't figure out what

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Speaker 4: it was. And at the time, I was afraid to

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Speaker 4: really look deeper within myself.

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Speaker 3: So eventually, after.

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Speaker 4: Many ups and downs through pursuing music, I decided to

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Speaker 4: move back to New York, where I'm Upstate New York,

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Speaker 4: That's where I'm originally from. And once I got back here.

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Speaker 4: I had been going through a really bad breakup and

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Speaker 4: it shot me down for a really long time. Without

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Speaker 4: too many details of everything, it was just it was

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Speaker 4: my breaking point of completely losing myself. Everything I've known

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Speaker 4: about myself, everything I thought about myself, everything I tried

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Speaker 4: to make myself look like, it all got washed away

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Speaker 4: through this heartache that I experienced. And from there, after

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Speaker 4: about a year of like grieving and trying to heal,

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Speaker 4: I started to open myself up to what life was

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Speaker 4: trying to show me. And it's interesting because my love

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Speaker 4: for music and my love for dance and my love

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Speaker 4: for movement, it wasn't meant to be the way that

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Speaker 4: I thought it was supposed to be, so I was

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Speaker 4: heading down the wrong path. It was leading me more

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Speaker 4: towards utilizing it for healing, utilizing it for helping bringing

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Speaker 4: these gifts that I was holding onto into the world.

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Speaker 4: And so now here we are, and I'm trying to

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Speaker 4: think how many years ago that was, maybe like six

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Speaker 4: years ago. I finally, you know, feel very satisfied with

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Speaker 4: my connection with myself and my work and what I

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Speaker 4: bring into the world.

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Speaker 3: And I never thought that was possible.

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Speaker 1: And will kind of dive into how you use the

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Speaker 1: music and the dance stuff. Still in a bit, but

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Speaker 1: I want to circle back to that moment of realization

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Speaker 1: because you mentioned you were going through a really bad.

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Speaker 2: Breakup, and.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I hate that it takes us sometimes these

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Speaker 1: really like heartbreaking moments to really accept okay, like life

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Speaker 1: is trying to show me something, but it does right,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't think that we actually are for me,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'll keep it on me. I don't pay

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Speaker 1: attention a lot of times until pain makes me pay attention.

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Speaker 1: Like I can be just like going through life and thinking,

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Speaker 1: you know, creating quote unquote the path that I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to be on. I'm not connected to the universe at all.

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Speaker 1: I'm very much driving the bus, which is probably a

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Speaker 1: masculine energy thing. It's also very disconnected to myself because

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Speaker 1: I'm a very heavy core feminine energy and so yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just interesting though because sometimes then you get in

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Speaker 1: a situation and.

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Speaker 2: The pain it just like you.

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Speaker 1: Like blast into that wall and you can't not face

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Speaker 1: it anymore. So what happened? Like what moment did you?

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Speaker 1: You said you had this wake up where you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what is life trying to show me why did the

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Speaker 1: relationship take you there?

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Speaker 3: I think it exposed a lot of a lot of

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Speaker 3: parts of myself that I didn't want to see.

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Speaker 4: And I did a lot of forcing in that relationship,

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Speaker 4: forcing myself to be something that I really wasn't, forcing

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Speaker 4: myself to accept things that didn't feel good to me,

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Speaker 4: forcing myself to let things kind of slide by the

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Speaker 4: wayside that didn't feel good.

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Speaker 3: And I remember, I think last time I was on.

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Speaker 4: The show, I talked about this like moment of I

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Speaker 4: got to get out of this relationship or this relationship

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Speaker 4: isn't for me, And it was I was living in

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Speaker 4: Arizona at this time, and it was this book that

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Speaker 4: I had made years before about like a discovery board

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Speaker 4: or a vision board. I had made it about what

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Speaker 4: I wanted for, like my ideal relationship, you know, how

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Speaker 4: I wanted to feel, what I wanted to look like,

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Speaker 4: things like that. And I found it when I was

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Speaker 4: kind of in a pivotal moment of should I say

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Speaker 4: or should I go? What am I going to do here?

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Speaker 4: Because I'm not happy, he's not happy, this isn't working.

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Speaker 4: But letting go of what you think that relationship needs

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Speaker 4: to be is really hard.

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Speaker 3: And so I was cleaning out.

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Speaker 4: Some stuff and I found that book, and all these

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Speaker 4: words just hit me because none of them, all these pictures,

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Speaker 4: all these emotions, none of them were what I was feeling.

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Speaker 4: And that was my first turning point of Okay, like

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Speaker 4: it's time for me to go. I gotta let go

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Speaker 4: of this. It was like I got clarity. That was

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Speaker 4: my first point of clarity to leave that relationship. So

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Speaker 4: that's kind of the first step for most of us,

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Speaker 4: is allowing yourself to really see what's happening here, behind

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Speaker 4: the smoke and mirrors, behind what you're trying to put

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Speaker 4: out into the world, and look at it for what

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Speaker 4: it is. So picked up and I moved back. And

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Speaker 4: when I got back here, I had no money, no direction,

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Speaker 4: no idea about myself anymore. It was like, like I said,

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Speaker 4: everything I thought I was, wasn't that everything I thought

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Speaker 4: I wanted.

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Speaker 3: I realized that I didn't, and so I had.

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Speaker 4: To kind of It's almost as if if I could visualize,

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Speaker 4: It's almost as if like every like your clothes are

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Speaker 4: just like all stripped, like and you're this new baby again,

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Speaker 4: like you're almost have like a rebirth of a possibility

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Speaker 4: for you to now be more of who you are

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Speaker 4: instead of the hats or the masks that you've been wearing.

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Speaker 4: And at first I really didn't know what to do

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Speaker 4: with that. I was full of panic, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I'm a crazy person, Like there's something wrong with me

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Speaker 4: like this, my life is never going to get better.

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Speaker 4: I'm just going to be depressed like this forever. And

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Speaker 4: it was the grieving process, which I think I never

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Speaker 4: really allowed myself to go through in other breakups. I

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Speaker 4: kind of just, you know, went out with my girlfriends

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Speaker 4: and we're like, yeah, we're good, Like it's fine, like

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Speaker 4: screw him, you know.

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Speaker 3: And this wasn't that at all. This was like life was.

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Speaker 4: Giving me a kick and making me move and I

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Speaker 4: accepted that. And then once I got back here, I

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Speaker 4: really at the time, I don't think I knew what

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Speaker 4: I was doing, but I was letting myself just be.

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Speaker 4: I was letting myself just I would go to bed.

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Speaker 3: Crying and wake up crying. I was just letting myself be.

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Speaker 4: It was nothing else that I wanted to do. There's

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Speaker 4: nothing else that I felt like I could do. And

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Speaker 4: I'm grateful for that, but it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: No It's so interesting because as I'm listening to you talk,

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Speaker 1: you know, they always talk about relationships just being mirrors,

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Speaker 1: and like, if we can let go of the idea

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Speaker 1: of a relationship is going to make our life complete

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Speaker 1: or we have to have this relationship forever and that

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Speaker 1: means success. Like because when I'm listening to you talk,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this relationship just mirrored your disconnection to yourself,

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Speaker 1: which has exactly been my own experience in the last

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Speaker 1: I don't know, four or five years. It's just so

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Speaker 1: many things coming into my life in different relationships, romantic friendship,

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Speaker 1: work of all of these ways, I've been out of

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Speaker 1: alignment with what I actually even want. Like you said,

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Speaker 1: you had this list and you look at it and

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Speaker 1: you're like what, because nothing in your life looks like

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Speaker 1: these things that you identify as your core values even

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Speaker 1: or what you want. And so when I'm listening to

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Speaker 1: you talk, I'm hearing you you were grieving the relationship,

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Speaker 1: but you're also grieving this like fantasy and this programming

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Speaker 1: for yourself in your own life of things that you

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Speaker 1: thought you needed to be successful or to be complete,

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Speaker 1: or to be a full woman or whatever whatever thing

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Speaker 1: we put on top of it, and then you didn't

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Speaker 1: really have the direction of what it was supposed to

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Speaker 1: look like either, because we aren't really taught that. Like

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Speaker 1: we're taught it needs to fit in this box, but

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Speaker 1: like what if that box doesn't really like connect with

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Speaker 1: who you are?

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm, Well, then oftentimes if you're open to it,

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Speaker 4: you're gonna get allowed. Hey now, and it shows up

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Speaker 4: for people in so many different ways. You know, at

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Speaker 4: that time, I was just so sad and so upset,

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Speaker 4: but that was the turning point in my life. So

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Speaker 4: it's anytime you look back on your life and I

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Speaker 4: feel like yourself and the listeners can feel this too.

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Speaker 4: Is anytime you've had big gross in your life, it's

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Speaker 4: generally from some sort of pain that you experience because

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Speaker 4: life is really forcing you to move, it's pushing you

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Speaker 4: in a different direction. And if it's not loud, then

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Speaker 4: oftentimes you won't do anything totally. So the louder it is,

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Speaker 4: you're being called for something way better and way bigger.

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Speaker 3: But it's up to us to really listen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think something I mean that I'm resonating

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Speaker 1: with because this is where I am exactly, is when

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Speaker 1: you're talking about you just were allowing yourself to be

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Speaker 1: Like I've almost been forced into that in this season

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Speaker 1: in my life too, you know, pandemic whatever, all of it,

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Speaker 1: it just all has really put me in that place.

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Speaker 1: And I still find myself on a daily like I

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Speaker 1: want to pick up and like control and do and

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Speaker 1: take the next step, and like, honestly, there I can

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Speaker 1: take a next right step, but there isn't much more

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Speaker 1: than that that I'm being asked to do right now

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Speaker 1: because I have no clear direction. And I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of it is in this like waiting and this

285
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Speaker 1: trusting that things will reveal themselves in the right time.

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Speaker 1: But it can be really uncomfortable. And so it's interesting

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Speaker 1: because I also think something our culture creates is just

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Speaker 1: like if you're not doing your like dying. And actually

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Speaker 1: I actually feel the most alive I've probably felt in years.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean it's not painful, though, because I'm letting

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Speaker 1: go of a lot of stuff right now that wasn't

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Speaker 1: serving me, even my own mentalities and like ideas about

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Speaker 1: who I was. So it's like really uncomfortable. So can

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Speaker 1: you talk through maybe some of that period of your

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Speaker 1: life other than like crying when you're waking up and

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Speaker 1: going to sak.

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Speaker 2: What did it look like?

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Speaker 1: I just kind of want to normalize this for people,

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Speaker 1: like getting uncomfortable and the unknowing.

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Speaker 4: At that time, it was really forced upon me where

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Speaker 4: I've always thought I was the girl who's like cool

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Speaker 4: and chill and I'm sad but like I'm okay and

303
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Speaker 4: like I'm positive and I'm good and I can handle

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Speaker 4: it myself and I can. I've always kind of played

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Speaker 4: that character. So to completely fall apart, I just I

306
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Speaker 4: was being hard on myself at this, you know, I

307
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Speaker 4: was I was allowing myself to be, but I was

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Speaker 4: being hard on myself because I needed to pick up

309
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Speaker 4: and be the one that made it out of this

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Speaker 4: relationship good and looked like she was doing better. But

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Speaker 4: I physically and emotionally and all of that, like I

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Speaker 4: really just couldn't do it.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like one of the things I did.

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Speaker 4: A lot of is going out and like walking in

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Speaker 4: like nature trails and kind of talking to myself and

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Speaker 4: talking through my emotions and.

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Speaker 3: Things like that.

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Speaker 4: I'm really trying to like look back because I've to me,

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Speaker 4: now it feels like this, but it was a really

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Speaker 4: like it feels like the blink of an eye. But

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Speaker 4: it was a really long period of grieving, and I

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Speaker 4: had an up and down of the feeling like a

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Speaker 4: very powerful woman that like I left this relationship, yeah,

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Speaker 4: and then having very heavy crashes of I just feel terrible,

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Speaker 4: like maybe I made the wrong decision. What if I

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Speaker 4: date someone else that's worse than this and I just

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Speaker 4: screwed myself over. But that's an It really is a

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Speaker 4: natural way of going through grievance. Is the uncertainty of

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Speaker 4: the future is really scary to us. And because we

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Speaker 4: painted a picture of this relationship, separating what's real and

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Speaker 4: what's not, and what's not serving us and what is,

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Speaker 4: it's hard to.

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Speaker 3: Distinguish between the two.

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Speaker 4: And women especially, we have this weird idea that.

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Speaker 3: We have to stop loving someone in order to move.

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Speaker 4: On from them to they have to be the villain

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Speaker 4: in our life in order for us to thrive. They

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Speaker 4: have to be the bad guy, and we're the good

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Speaker 4: and we're the good guy.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not saying it has to be either way

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Speaker 3: or not, but.

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Speaker 4: Loving someone, you can love someone and still know that

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Speaker 4: they're not good for you, So it's not really about

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Speaker 4: stopping that love because maybe it takes time to really

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Speaker 4: fully let go of the feelings you had for them.

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Speaker 4: They took up a chunk of your life, and depending

347
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Speaker 4: on how deep you went emotionally together, it takes time

348
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Speaker 4: to move on from that. Breakups and moving on from

349
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Speaker 4: relationships that aren't good for us is more about reconnecting

350
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Speaker 4: to self love and reconnecting to who we are, because

351
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Speaker 4: for many women, we get lost in the relationship and

352
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Speaker 4: we become the pleaser, we become the mother, We become

353
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Speaker 4: anything that they need us to be, because we have

354
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Speaker 4: these beautiful hearts, but we don't offer them to ourselves.

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Speaker 2: That totally hits.

356
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Speaker 1: I thought I was the only one who just lost

357
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Speaker 1: myself over and over, but it is. It's so true,

358
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Speaker 1: and that's been part of this journey that I've been

359
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Speaker 1: on recently. Is just like, well, first of all, getting

360
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Speaker 1: to know this new version of myself or maybe the

361
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Speaker 1: true self that I wasn't really even aware of, you know,

362
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Speaker 1: or accepting of for a really long time. But yeah,

363
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 1: I was having this conversation with a friend this week

364
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,440
Speaker 1: because I keep saying like I'm getting ready to maybe

365
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 1: think about dating again. But when I actually started thinking

366
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 1: about it this week, I was thinking to myself, I

367
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 1: just don't know if I want to give my energy

368
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Speaker 1: to investing in anyone else yet, Like I actually really

369
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Speaker 1: feel this need for my own energy right now, do

370
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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And I think it's interesting

371
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Speaker 1: because especially I'm about to turn forty in two months,

372
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Speaker 1: and so I think there's like all of these heavy

373
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Speaker 1: programming things around, you know, the timeline, And luckily this

374
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,119
Speaker 1: last situation really kind of I had to dissolve some

375
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: of those, and I think that it just hits such

376
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: a head that like I was like a jigs up,

377
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Speaker 1: like it's not it isn't happening for me at this time,

378
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 1: and I've really just had to accept that and also

379
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 1: kind of realize how ridiculously uh what's the word unrealistic

380
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 1: those things were, Like it doesn't mean I'm messed up

381
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 1: or it's my life isn't good because I'm not in

382
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: a certain place relationship wise, Like I actually feel more true,

383
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Speaker 1: like I'm going to find something more true to me

384
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Speaker 1: because I'm being open to letting go of a timeline.

385
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 1: But all of that to say that, uh, what was

386
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Speaker 1: I saying?

387
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 2: Now?

388
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: I did it my whole thing where I'm off on

389
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Speaker 1: a tant and I don't even know where I came from.

390
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: I think just about like, oh, I didn't want it.

391
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that I want to invest in someone

392
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: else yet. It's interesting that we don't really talk about that,

393
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 1: like that being okay of you know, like you don't

394
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,360
Speaker 1: have to you don't have to be in a relationship.

395
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 1: Maybe we do need to turn our hearts and our

396
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 1: love towards ourselves sometimes, you know. And I'm getting actually

397
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: really comfortable with that. I see that in you, like

398
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 1: just this, like wait, I need this, or setting boundaries

399
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 1: in your life in general around like what your connection

400
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 1: to yourself is. So do you feel like you kind

401
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 1: of found that during that time of your life.

402
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 4: I think I started to Okay, I think that the

403
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 4: light bulbs were going off a lot, but I wasn't

404
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 4: making all the connections because I was still trying to

405
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 4: come out of the sadness that I was experiencing.

406
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Speaker 3: Yeah, does that make sense?

407
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? This so it's just an ongoing journey.

408
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 3: It always will be. The truth is is that you

409
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 3: will You're never ready. You're never really ready for anything.

410
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so we can put it on and I'm

411
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 4: not saying I'm not saying this because of what you said.

412
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 4: But we can put it off. We can put it off.

413
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 4: We can put it off. If you feel if you're

414
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 4: being called to connect deeper with yourself, then I think

415
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 4: that you should honor that.

416
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think.

417
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 4: That it's always important to take a look at the whys.

418
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 4: Like I mean, it's such a simple question, but why

419
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 4: why am I hard on myself? Or why do I

420
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 4: feel like I'm not ready to have a relationship or why?

421
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 4: It's just asking yourself questions because from the majority of

422
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 4: us grew up never really having our own emotions honored

423
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 4: or making our own decisions. We were usually told what

424
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 4: we need to do, how we need to feel, what

425
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 4: we need to stop doing. You know, So most people

426
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 4: that I come in contact with that I work with, like, well,

427
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 4: how do you feel? Like, well, I don't know how

428
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 4: I feel.

429
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 3: Course, because we're never really it's it's kind of frowned

430
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 3: upon in our society to.

431
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 4: Be like, well I feel this way, Well right, I

432
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 4: don't feel that way, you know, So connect to how

433
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 4: you really feel, what you really want in a relationship,

434
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 4: what you want to feel the majority of your day,

435
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: and then trying to head in that direction.

436
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 3: Is really important because.

437
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 4: The outside noise, in the opinions and the projections, they

438
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 4: don't go away. So if you're not standing on a

439
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 4: solid foundation of self, then you will constantly be bending

440
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 4: and molding to make everybody else happy.

441
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: Well that just said it right there, because as you

442
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 1: were saying that, I was thinking to myself, am I

443
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: not ready to invest in someone else? Or am I

444
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: not willing to lose myself again? And so like, and

445
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: I don't know, and maybe that's something I have to

446
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: navigate as I try.

447
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 3: But like, that's so funny because that I felt that

448
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 3: way too.

449
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, So when left the relationship, I rebuilt this whole

450
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 5: person that started to be joyful and happy, and I

451
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 5: got to a point where I was like, I'm okay

452
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 5: if it's.

453
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 2: Just me, me too.

454
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 4: But I do really want a relationship. And that's the

455
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 4: thing is that we have to admit what we want.

456
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 4: It's okay to ask for what you want and then

457
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 4: see what happens. But a lot of people be like

458
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 4: I don't care about having a boyfriend, or I don't

459
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 4: like screw guys, or that you know, I don't. I

460
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 4: don't resonate with that because there is deep down there's

461
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 4: a lot of people that are just saying that to

462
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 4: protect themselves. And yeah, I mean I went through the

463
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 4: you know, rebellion against guys because I was angry thing too.

464
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 4: But then I got to a great point where I

465
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 4: decided to start exploring how to find more joy in

466
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 4: my own life. I started planning more things I wanted

467
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: to do. I stopped waiting to feel good. I was like, Okay,

468
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 4: what can I do for myself today to feel good?

469
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 4: And when I got to this point where everything was

470
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 4: like good and coasting in pops, Jake Woodard like what

471
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 4: the heck?

472
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: But I was so like.

473
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 4: Elated and pulled to him and connected to him. But

474
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 4: I remember a moment when he asked me to be

475
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 4: like in a committed relationship. You know we had been

476
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 4: dating a little bit, is like I want to commit

477
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 4: to this relationship, like I want you to be my girlfriend.

478
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 4: And it was like the flash of panic went through

479
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 4: my brain, was like, ho do I want to do

480
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 4: this again?

481
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 3: Like what if it doesn't work? Am I going to

482
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: get over it? What am I?

483
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 4: And it all happened like like a blink. Okay, I

484
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 4: feel like that's like the common theme of what I'm

485
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 4: expressing it's like everything in the moment feels very heavy,

486
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 4: but when you look back, it's like if it's like a.

487
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: Second on the radar.

488
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 4: It was all the panic set in and then this

489
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 4: realization of I am like, the fear of getting hurt

490
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 4: by this relationship is not as great as my desire

491
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 4: to allow myself to try this again. And so that's

492
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 4: what brought me to the point of saying, yeah, let's

493
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 4: try it, and let's see what happens, you know, And

494
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 4: I mean now my life is completely different from that

495
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 4: point because I allowed myself to open up and to

496
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 4: work on things and to work on myself and to

497
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 4: come into a safe container and usually how it happens.

498
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 4: It's like, especially for people who have a feminine core,

499
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 4: if you're just out there in the world and you're

500
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 4: really at a good place where you feel pretty clear

501
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 4: about who you are and what you want, and you

502
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 4: hold onto that and you honor it as you meet people,

503
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 4: then you're going to kind of weed out the people

504
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 4: who aren't good for you naturally.

505
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually love that, because I think fear can,

506
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: especially when you come out of a situation that was

507
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: extremely painful or really hard or whatever. It is you

508
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: do have like a guard up in some ways, and

509
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: as much as like, you know, I feel like I'm

510
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: actually lowering that, I'm sure it comes up. And so

511
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 1: maybe that was my instinct to be like, oh, maybe

512
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: I'm not.

513
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 2: Ready to date.

514
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: But the reality is is I've just started to actually

515
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: get to know myself in a new way and I'm

516
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: enjoying that process and kind of feeling a new sense

517
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: of like peace and calm come over me every step

518
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: I take deeper into that process. And I don't have

519
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: it quote unquote figured out, and so my instinct is

520
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 1: to be like, well, then I'm not ready, or then

521
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm not whatever, And that's not really how life works,

522
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: because especially if we're talking about relationships, it is where

523
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: you can get to know yourself greater or better or

524
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: more and deeper. And yeah, I don't know, I'm just

525
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: having this kind of aha moment of like, wait, maybe

526
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: it's not that. It's that I don't want to lose

527
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: my connection to myself again. And so that is what

528
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: a good practice of like learning how to have boundaries

529
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: within a situation, because whatever I did in the past,

530
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: it didn't work for me, like being boundaryless or just

531
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: like operating in this programming of what I needed to

532
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: be doing, it doesn't work for me. It blows up

533
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: in my face every time, and so that's what I

534
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: don't want to do again.

535
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 3: And tru me, can I tell you something I don't.

536
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 3: I don't have it figured out either. Yeah, I know,

537
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 3: nobody really does.

538
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 4: You know. We do the best we can with what

539
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 4: we have, and we try to show up as the

540
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 4: best version of ourselves. And there's some days that that

541
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,479
Speaker 4: doesn't work out that way. You have to give yourself

542
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,880
Speaker 4: permission to not have it all figured out, and that'd

543
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 4: be okay, you know, and nobody does. I don't care

544
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 4: what it looks like online or nobody really does, you know,

545
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 4: Like we're all just kind of learning lessons and again

546
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 4: trying to be the best version of ourselves.

547
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 3: But I don't know, I just don't. I think that

548
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: we're too hard on ourselves.

549
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: I agree, thanks, Well, I don't even realize I'm doing

550
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: it right, Like that was just the new awareness that

551
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 1: got is. As I'm saying this to you, I'm like

552
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: blocking myself even more again because I'm like, oh, it's

553
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: not in this picture perfect box yet yet. You know,

554
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: there's always the yet and like yet doesn't exist. That's

555
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: not how this works well because.

556
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 4: You'll never be there ever, you know, you'll like five

557
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 4: years from now you'd be like, I'm almost there, but

558
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 4: like you know, but I mean, a relationship has the

559
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 4: ability to take us deeper within ourselves if we allow

560
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 4: it to the right relationship.

561
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: Or the right relationship. Yeah, that's in alignment.

562
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, but now that you're aware of what you did before,

563
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 4: awareness is really where a lot of our power lies.

564
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 3: So you don't do that again. You know. When I

565
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: felt myself do that, that was my tendency.

566
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 4: It's like completely lose myself and like people please my partner,

567
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 4: you know, whatever they needed. And that was just kind

568
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 4: of like my cycle. So that happened in the very

569
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 4: beginning of my relationship with Jake, and it took we

570
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 4: had separated for a little bit of time, and that

571
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 4: was one of my AHA moments, is like I am

572
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: totally doing that again, and so I just had to

573
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 4: reconnect with myself and from there like I've never done

574
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 4: that since.

575
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 2: Wow, you know, it's good.

576
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, let's talk a little bit

577
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: about you said reconnect with yourself, and it made me

578
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: really think about again why I'm drawn to your work.

579
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: And we've mentioned a couple of times this like feminine

580
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: essence and if you guys don't know what we're talking about,

581
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: we're talking about the masculine and feminine energy. You can

582
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: go take a test on Jake's website actually at Jakewitter

583
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: dot com. And if you don't know your core, that

584
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: might be a good place to start, because it really

585
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: can help you into understanding maybe where your work even

586
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 1: is if you're feeling really disconnected from that. But I

587
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: have a very feminine core. I believe you do as well,

588
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 1: and I've been really disconnected from it. We also both

589
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: have both, like that was something that is kind of

590
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: like balancing. That is an interesting thing because and we

591
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: both need both. But I've been driven by my masculine

592
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: or trying to live in my masculine for a while.

593
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: And that was why so much of my life was

594
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: just completely out of alignment, because while maybe my career

595
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: looked successful to people, it could have been a guess

596
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: and it was. I was making the most money that

597
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: I've ever made in my life, but I was so unfulfilled,

598
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: and I was so out of touch, and I was

599
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: medicating my way through every day with work and alcohol

600
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: and all these things that like really didn't make me

601
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: feel true to myself. And so getting back in touch

602
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: with my true core is a very healing, empowering thing.

603
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: So can you talk me through how you even started

604
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: to tap in to yours and what that even is.

605
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: Let's do this first.

606
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: Tell us what feminine a feminine core or feminine a

607
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: divine feminine even is.

608
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 4: Soe from an energetic standpoint, there's the masculine energy, the

609
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 4: feminine energy going off what you said. We both like

610
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 4: everyone in this world has both energies within them, and

611
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 4: everyone has a unique balance. Your core is the one

612
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 4: that feels the best, and that your body, your soul,

613
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 4: your heart, your mind wants to use the majority of

614
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 4: the time.

615
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 3: It's where you're thriving. It's where you're like, oh, I

616
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 3: feel great doing this, okay.

617
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 4: So, but masculine energy is our structure and our leadership

618
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 4: and our giving energy and our decision making and kind

619
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 4: of it's our get and our stuff done.

620
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 3: Very logical. What makes the most sense.

621
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 4: The feminine energy is our connection to love, our heart center,

622
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 4: our emotions, our sensuality. It's our compassionate side, it's our gentleness,

623
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 4: it's our receiving energy. And if you take like just

624
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna ask you, you take both of those. When

625
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 4: you look at the say the feminine energy column, what

626
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 4: do you what do you quickly judge it to be?

627
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 3: Well?

628
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 1: I mean my quick thing would be I think the

629
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: programming for me is that's weak.

630
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody, and it has that.

631
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

632
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: Also, when I was listening to you talk, I had

633
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: a very specific mindset with this podcast to not over

634
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: prepare because I was like that when I get driven

635
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: in that of like this is how this conversation needs

636
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: to go, and these questions in like a super specific outline,

637
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: I can't really be in my flow and I am

638
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: in my masculine a lot when I'm doing these interviews,

639
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: which is okay, and I need to be sometimes, but

640
00:32:58,240 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be with you, And so it's

641
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: interesting to even watch myself ask these questions as I

642
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: just navigate what's coming up, Like it's a very interesting

643
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: difference that I can tell.

644
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 2: But anyway, but.

645
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 4: Learning to trust yourself opens up new doors and struct

646
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 4: all those structure is great. There has to be room

647
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 4: for flow, There has to be room for spontanuity. So

648
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 4: because life isn't always going.

649
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 3: To work out the way we think it's supposed to.

650
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 4: We'd love to structure our whole day, but sometimes stuff

651
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 4: comes up, and can you allow yourself to flow through

652
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 4: that and not lose your mind because you're not on schedule.

653
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 3: That's kind of where we're at our world and.

654
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:42,479
Speaker 4: The way that we've all been conditioned to live our

655
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 4: lives is I say, from the neck up.

656
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 3: So it's all the mind.

657
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 4: Even as we heal, we always want to, well, how

658
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 4: can I like change my thoughts and how can I

659
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 4: manipulate my mind? And how can I But within our

660
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 4: bodies we have all of these gifts that help us

661
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 4: through the healing process, help us connect deeper with ourselves

662
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 4: and really feel the fullness of the experiences that we're in.

663
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 4: And that's all what feminine energy is. It's all about

664
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 4: that movement, that flow, that compassion, that love. That Oh,

665
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 4: that's the best way I always describe feminine energy because

666
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 4: anytime I surrender into just coming into my body, that's

667
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 4: how I feel. It's like all the weight just drips

668
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 4: off of you and you are open to whatever life

669
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 4: is showing you and you're not afraid of it.

670
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: You just allow yourself to be.

671
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 4: Masculine is doing and feminine is being, and there needs

672
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 4: to be a time for all of us to do

673
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 4: and a time for us to be. The problem is

674
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 4: is most of us are never being and we're always doing,

675
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 4: and so we're tense and tight, and we don't feel

676
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 4: connected to things anymore, and we're not present in the moment.

677
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 4: We're not absorbing the fullness of our lives. We're just

678
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 4: head down, let me get through my tasks. Yeah, and

679
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 4: that's disconnecting, especially someone who has a feminine core that

680
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 4: is so stressful on their body physically, on their lack

681
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 4: of emotions, and the types of partners they attract into

682
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 4: their experience are not going to suit them. They're attracting

683
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 4: people who don't align with their core energy.

684
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: What kind of what do you mean by that? Like

685
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: wold they would attract what.

686
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 3: So let's say that you're in work mode.

687
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, most of the day you're going, you're doing, you're

688
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 4: doing great, and you can do an amazing job at it.

689
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 4: But that energy that you're giving out of being the structure,

690
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 4: the leader, the go getter, the one that's accomplishing things,

691
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 4: the decision maker you attract into your experience. What we

692
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 4: would call that energetic reciprocal, which means that you would

693
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 4: be calling in a more feminine type of man, not

694
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 4: feminine like he acts feminine, feminine like his emotions might

695
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 4: be all over the place. He's not really sure where

696
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 4: he's headed. He's just kind of going with the flow

697
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 4: of things, you know. So, because that's what polarity is.

698
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 4: Polarity is a balance between masculine feminine energy, or some

699
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 4: people call it yin and yong energy. That's what attracts

700
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 4: people or into an experience, and that's where when you

701
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 4: meet someone you.

702
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 3: Get that like spark.

703
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 4: It's because there might be a moment right there of

704
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 4: masculine feminine energy that's the spark. But if your core

705
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 4: is feminine and you're living the majority of your day

706
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 4: in your masculine then you're not going to get the

707
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:34,760
Speaker 4: energetic reciprocal.

708
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 3: That's actually good for.

709
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: You that you're using the words energetic reciprocal though, because

710
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 1: like I actually think that I've been in situations where

711
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: I've drawn in a guy who looks masculine on the

712
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:51,879
Speaker 1: outside and like maybe even would it would say he's

713
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 1: got a masculine core or whatever. But when you just

714
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: described it, it clicked for me of like, oh, it's

715
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: the flighty emotions. It's the not like kind of not

716
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: having a direction, like going from one thing to a

717
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 1: next very chaotically, and like I don't I don't like

718
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: equate a chaotic energy to a masculine like a person

719
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 1: in their masculine in a whatever, healthy masculine.

720
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 2: How do you say it?

721
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's right.

722
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 4: But that's the thing, is the outside appearance. Like you

723
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 4: can see a woman who's it, who looks beautiful and.

724
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 3: She's in a dress, in her hair and her heah,

725
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 3: it's done. But she is not carrying feminine energy. She

726
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 3: is carrying masculine energy.

727
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 4: And to a masculine man, that is it's like to

728
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 4: like what I want to say, like magnets, like they're

729
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 4: not going to come together, they're going to come apart

730
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,240
Speaker 4: because they're not energetically balanced.

731
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 3: Yeah you know, so you can look the part and

732
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,720
Speaker 3: not carry that energy.

733
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's really interesting.

734
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 4: I just hope you know something that Like I remember

735
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 4: having a moment when I'm starting to learn about it,

736
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 4: and I was like, wow, this is such a big deal.

737
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 4: It's like if you see two men fighting in a barroom,

738
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 4: that's a that's feminine energy because it's not a grounded

739
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 4: they're not grounded in their emotions. They're chaotic in their emotions.

740
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 4: They can't stand there and deal with an emotion. They're

741
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 4: punching and they're throwing at this. So a man thinking

742
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 4: that he's displaying this like big bed like tough guy,

743
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 4: you're actually he's actually in his feminine he's in his

744
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 4: wild feminine that moment because he's being chaotic.

745
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: Yes. And another one I actually learned this at the

746
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: conference that I went to with you guys. But like

747
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 2: that whole like oh, boys will be boys.

748
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: And they're just so like like just that sexual energy

749
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: just viewing everywhere and like going after multiple women or whatever.

750
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: That looks like like I think that gets written off

751
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: a lot of times is like just I'm just super masculine,

752
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: I'm a dude, whatever, whatever, That's just what dudes do. Yeah,

753
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: that's just what dudes do.

754
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 4: You know.

755
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 2: That's like my pet peeve.

756
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 1: I think I talked about that on the last podcast,

757
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: which but to me and now that you're saying that,

758
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, that's actually not it. Like the masculine

759
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: is like a true grounded he can hold his energy

760
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: in a sacred way and not.

761
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 2: Like spew it out everywhere.

762
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 1: That's like the flightiness and all that stuff and the

763
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: inconsistency like that is not masculine or being connected to

764
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: your true divine masculine.

765
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 4: And if we go a little deeper and get a

766
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 4: little bit more complex, okay, because there's a balance, there's

767
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 4: all there's light and dark everywhere in the world. So

768
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 4: within divine feminine energy, divine masculine energy, all those beautiful parts.

769
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 3: There's also wounded aspects of that.

770
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 4: So masculine wounded masculine energy would be a man or

771
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 4: a person with a masculine core that's kind of just

772
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 4: spewing their stuff everywhere.

773
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 3: And but we make excuses for that.

774
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 4: And that's the thing is, it's more of a wounded aspect.

775
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,760
Speaker 4: It's a shadow aspect of that energetic and energy.

776
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: Okay, so it could be operating from a masculine place,

777
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: but it's the wounded masculine not.

778
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 3: It's masculine, right, it's more of a wounded mask.

779
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 4: And just like we could bounce over to the feminine

780
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 4: side and like drama, like women who engage in a

781
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 4: lot of drama or are very They compare themselves to

782
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 4: other women all the time, like, that's more of a

783
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 4: wounded aspect of feminine energy.

784
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is where I was probably operating from when

785
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: I drew in these other energies.

786
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 4: Perhaps it just depends on that's that's the interesting thing.

787
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 4: I think this type of work has changed everything in

788
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 4: my life. Learning about it and then realizing what I

789
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 4: was giving out into the world, it's helped. It's funny

790
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 4: because indulging in my feminine energy has helped me so

791
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 4: much in my business, just my romantic relationship.

792
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 3: It's helped me in my friendships.

793
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 4: It's made me feel more connected to myself because I

794
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 4: feel better when I allow myself to operate more in

795
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 4: my feminine energy. Yeah, it has to be intentional at first,

796
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 4: because there might be women listening to this now and

797
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 4: they're like, well, I like being a business woman and

798
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 4: I like And that's the thing is, you can do

799
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 4: anything you want to do, but it's more about what

800
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 4: it feels like to you. If you're tense and tight

801
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 4: and rigid and short fused, then you've been operating in

802
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 4: an energy that isn't aligning with you, and usually you're

803
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 4: living in the mind.

804
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 3: So the thought of getting out of the mind and not.

805
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 4: Accomplishing something feels foreign, even though it's natural, right, just

806
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 4: we've just haven't worked that muscle out in a really

807
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 4: long time.

808
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

809
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 1: So you mentioned that the perception of the feminine energy

810
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,320
Speaker 1: is kind of weak, and so how do we switch

811
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: that narrative? And like, what does someone and you kind

812
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: of talked about this a little bit, but like when

813
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: you're getting in touch with your true feminine what has

814
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: it looked like for you? I mean you just said

815
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: it's helped you in your business and your relationships, Like

816
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: what does it look like?

817
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 4: Because it's opened my creativity and it's opened my flow,

818
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 4: and the flow of money is feminine. So in business,

819
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 4: if someone feels like they're blocking money, it's because they're

820
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 4: not in the flow of money.

821
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 3: Does that make sense? It?

822
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: Doesssing it?

823
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 4: So first I had to learn what feminine energy really was,

824
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 4: and I judged it just like most people do.

825
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 3: Oh, well, open my heart, but then somebody can hurt

826
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 3: my heart.

827
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 4: But connected to that healing energy is this powerful center

828
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 4: with and it's called our intuition. And our intuition really

829
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,439
Speaker 4: those gut feelings that we all get but they happen

830
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 4: quick and we bypass them when we bring them up

831
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 4: to our logical mind. Yeah, and so we're actually safe

832
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 4: in our feminine energy, but we have to learn how

833
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: to reconnect to our intuition to honor the gut feelings.

834
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 4: And that's why I teach so much movement because I

835
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 4: feel like movement helps you learn to trust what it

836
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 4: feels like to be in your body because you need

837
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 4: that connection first. And it's again, it's not going to

838
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 4: feel totally natural in the beginning. You're going to judge

839
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 4: and you're gonna say this is stupid and what am

840
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 4: I doing this for.

841
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,399
Speaker 3: I could be like finishing this work.

842
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 4: But if you do this with the intention to open

843
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 4: up and to try it to see what it feels like,

844
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 4: then I promise that you will crack open. It just

845
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 4: depends on your willingness to let go of control. We

846
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 4: want to have control over everything in our life, and

847
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 4: feminine movement or feminine energy is letting go of that

848
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 4: control and welcoming in the flow and letting life lead

849
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 4: you and feeling guided more by your heart center and

850
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 4: by your intuition. Your intuition in your body has a

851
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 4: reaction to things way before your brain does.

852
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

853
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: Completely. My body always knows it's not mind to accept it.

854
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 4: Yes, but it's normally not the answer that we'd like

855
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 4: it to be. So that's why we bring it up

856
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 4: to our brain. Because if we meet someone who we

857
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 4: think is cute and our bodies like, this isn't a

858
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 4: good thing for you, and bring it up to the

859
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 4: brain and be like, oh, I could figure this out

860
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 4: and he's you, but I'll just keep it casual. But

861
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 4: you know, we just there's so many beautiful aspects to

862
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 4: feminine energy. I've just found what worked for me is

863
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 4: movement first, Yeah, because then you have that aha moment

864
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 4: of wow, I feel very powerful right now, And all

865
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 4: I did was move my body for a couple of minutes.

866
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm not afraid of anything. I feel

867
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,800
Speaker 4: very open, I feel very connected. I feel very aware

868
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,399
Speaker 4: of things around me, so I don't feel that's why

869
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 4: you don't feel afraid of things is because you are

870
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 4: energetically open to feel a yes or a no, not

871
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 4: think through the yes and the no.

872
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

873
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: I think that's what I am finally connecting to because

874
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: I was saying this to you before we started the podcast.

875
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 1: But like I did all the theor work, you know,

876
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: for a decade, I've been doing this kind of work,

877
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,720
Speaker 1: and it was needed and needed to understand my past

878
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: and heal from a lot of trauma and understand the

879
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: dynamics and my family and in all of these things.

880
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: But it kept me very stuck in my mind and

881
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 1: so like as a person with this feminine core, it

882
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: was very it has been very difficult for me to

883
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 1: marry all of that knowledge into the actions of my life,

884
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: Like does that make sense? Like it was like I

885
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: knew it all, Like I logically could even know why

886
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: my last relationship wasn't working. I knew it, but I

887
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,359
Speaker 1: could not connect to like, Okay, my body doesn't feel

888
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: is feeling all these things, and my mind knows this

889
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: stuff logically, But it wasn't Like I wasn't able to

890
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: actually take next right steps in my own life because

891
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: they weren't connected, because I wasn't connected like I was.

892
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: It was just so much disconnection constantly that I was

893
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: just all over the place, constantly trying to rationalize, like

894
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: you're saying in my head, and then stayed way longer

895
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: than I actually should have for either of us. I mean,

896
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 1: it wasn't. It wasn't good for anybody. So what I'm

897
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: feeling now and a lot of times, like I told

898
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: you earlier, it's like I'd literally just put on a

899
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: song and I'd dance around my house for three minutes,

900
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: and it puts me in this place of like, okay,

901
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: like I feel in my body this calm for me,

902
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: it gets sort of anxiety a lot, like that's the

903
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 1: thing that it releases. And I do feel because I

904
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: feel more calm, then I don't feel so scared and

905
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: fearful to make the next move or to go out

906
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: in the world, or to not have to figure everything

907
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: out right in that minute. But it's because of simple

908
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: things like literally moving my hips to a dance.

909
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:48,760
Speaker 3: It's energy.

910
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 4: We were walking around the world like the stagnant energy. Yeah,

911
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 4: and if we have if things are backed up or

912
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 4: we got these blocks, then there's no room for flow.

913
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's really no room for.

914
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 4: That at all. And it affects your health, it affects

915
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 4: your relationships, It can affect so many different areas of

916
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 4: your life if you were just operating only from one

917
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 4: energy or the other. And one of the best things

918
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 4: that I can suggest anyone who kind of would like

919
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 4: to open up to exploring more about feminine is to

920
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 4: take a long look at your relationship with masculine energy,

921
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 4: meaning dad's boyfriends. Where did you have some toxicity or

922
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 4: you didn't feel safe in that environment that you grew

923
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 4: up in. Because a lot of times that's why we

924
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 4: operate from masculine energy too, is because we lived in

925
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 4: an environment or we had experiences where masculine energy wasn't

926
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 4: safe for us, and so in order for us to

927
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 4: deal with that, we had to What I would say

928
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 4: is like animate our own Does that make sense?

929
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? Completely.

930
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 3: So that's usually with.

931
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 4: The conditioning of the world and then our first experiences

932
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 4: with masculine energy. Those are the two main things that

933
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 4: keep us that prevent us from allowing ourselves to try

934
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,359
Speaker 4: to come over to feminine energy and see what that's

935
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 4: all about and see if that works for us.

936
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you did all this work, and you kind

937
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: of created these own programmings yourself, and so now you

938
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: said this has helped you to even create your own

939
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 1: business and essentially to thrive a lot more. So talk

940
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: us through some of the things that you're doing.

941
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:33,879
Speaker 5: Now.

942
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 4: One of the things that that started this for me

943
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 4: is when I started movement, I don't know how long

944
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 4: it was.

945
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 3: Into there. I started putting together.

946
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 4: Things that my body needed that I felt like really

947
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 4: opened me up to my feminine energy. Because let me

948
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 4: remind you, it doesn't. It might not just be dancing

949
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 4: for someone. It might be nature. It might be that

950
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 4: we have a unique connection to our feminine energy. And

951
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 4: discovering what cracks you open is one of the most

952
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 4: important things.

953
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 3: We tried it.

954
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 4: We see a girl, you know, dancing on a pole,

955
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 4: and she's like, I've never felt more feminine in my life.

956
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 3: So we do that, But that's not what cracks us

957
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 3: so bright. So be open to explore things.

958
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 4: Mine just happened to be movement, and I feel very

959
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 4: passionate about it, and I think it's important for everybody

960
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 4: to try. So I put together something for myself and

961
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 4: it was what I needed. It was breathing and stretching,

962
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 4: and then I was very hard on my body. I

963
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 4: had not a healthy relationship with my body growing up,

964
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 4: and so I took time to touch my body and

965
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 4: to say thank you, I love you, like thank you

966
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 4: to my legs, thank you to my belly, thank you

967
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 4: to my arms. Because constantly beating up your body gets

968
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 4: you nowhere, and so I with an intention to connect

969
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 4: and open up my body, I would say thank you,

970
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 4: I love you. Then I wanted to just be that

971
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 4: wild's feminine and I did some put tribal music on

972
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 4: and drums, and I started to just like letting myself.

973
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:05,919
Speaker 3: Wing around the house and have a good time.

974
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 4: And then I brought myself into a grounded state of

975
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 4: taking all of that and just letting that flow happen

976
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 4: in my body. And I created a movement class called

977
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,399
Speaker 4: Connection and Flow, and I can remember the first time

978
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 4: I ever taught it on my Instagram Live. I was

979
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 4: so nervous if it was going to work for people

980
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 4: and if they liked it. And fast forward that was

981
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 4: like two years later, and I teach at I've taught

982
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 4: it at live events, and I have a program, a

983
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 4: women's program called the Radiant Woman, which is an online

984
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 4: course that helps women get into their bodies and to

985
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 4: connect to their feminine energy. And there's teachings all around that,

986
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 4: but then there's also guided meditations and womb healing and

987
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 4: then Connection and Flow classes, so you get this well

988
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 4: rounded version of what feminine energy is and how to

989
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 4: connect to that. Deeper self love, how to connect to

990
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 4: your body, how to experience intimacy with yourself, because in

991
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 4: order for us to go deeper in a relationship, we

992
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 4: really have to be willing to go deep within ourselves first.

993
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I also teach you, Jake.

994
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,280
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like I'm doing so many awesome things,

995
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 4: you know, because being in the relationship with him has

996
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 4: taught us so much that we want to share with

997
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 4: the world too, So lots of different things that are

998
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 4: going on, and it's all I'm also grateful, you know

999
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,439
Speaker 4: that I'm able to bring that out into the world.

1000
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: And to circle back to what we started this podcast

1001
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: talking about your music and singing, like we did that

1002
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 1: workshop in Dallas. I've told you guys about this, the

1003
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 1: conference that Jake and Melissa put on. This was back

1004
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: in January, and you would lead these connection and flow sessions,

1005
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: which were my favorite. They ended up being my favorite

1006
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: part of the whole thing because again, it would just

1007
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: grounds me and it very much would open me up

1008
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 1: to whatever else we were doing that day in a

1009
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: different way than I could have shown up, you know otherwise.

1010
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: But you would also sing through that, and so I

1011
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: thought it was so cool because you and I were

1012
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: talking at dinner that night, and you were saying, like,

1013
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: it's so interesting because I was so focused on like

1014
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 1: driving the bus to have this successful music career and

1015
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 1: like what that would look like. And I was on

1016
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 1: American Idol and I wanted a record deal and just

1017
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 1: all of that. And then now look at how the

1018
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: universe is using that same skill set to produce something

1019
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: completely different that can go out and help people in

1020
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: a totally different way. And I just think it's so

1021
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 1: cool to watch it. The skill set you have still

1022
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 1: be utilized. Like I think we like again get put

1023
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: in these boxes of like this is how that skill

1024
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 1: set has to be used or utilized, and you've been

1025
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: You're such a great example of how it can shift

1026
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: if we just stay open and like we don't actually

1027
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 1: know it's.

1028
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to open yourself up to see to

1029
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 4: see that you know what you love to do most

1030
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 4: people do, or you're on a journey to discover more

1031
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 4: of what you like to do or what makes you

1032
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 4: feel good. But the avenue of working within a music

1033
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 4: business wasn't going to.

1034
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 3: Be good for me.

1035
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 4: I can really see that now, But at the time,

1036
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 4: you know, I was really like pushing and forcing and trying. Yeah,

1037
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 4: but it wasn't the right environment for me. So letting

1038
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 4: completely go of that and just seeing what shows up

1039
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 4: for me, you know it it opened up so many

1040
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 4: new doors and I was like, I know, I love this,

1041
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 4: not really sure what I want to do with it yet,

1042
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 4: So I'm just going to start doing things that feel

1043
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 4: good and utilize the things going on in my life

1044
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 4: to discover what I want to bring more of into

1045
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: the world.

1046
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so now you also offer your own sessions.

1047
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: What are you seeing with like the women coming to

1048
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: you wanting to work on this stuff? What are some

1049
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: of the things that a lot of the women are

1050
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 1: bumping up against when they come to you.

1051
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 3: I think one of the biggest.

1052
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 4: Things is women who have worked a long time I'm

1053
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 4: on building careers and focusing a lot more on doing

1054
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,280
Speaker 4: everything perfect and being everything for everybody and over giving

1055
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 4: themselves that they've reached a point of burnout and they're

1056
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 4: not really sure what to do from here. Their marriage

1057
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 4: maybe isn't going well, or they've divorced, their kids have

1058
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 4: moved out of the house, and they're like, well, I've

1059
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 4: never done anything for myself in the past, you know,

1060
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 4: twenty years of my life. Or I don't even know

1061
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 4: what to do with my body. I don't even know

1062
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 4: if I am sexual or sensual.

1063
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know, I'm.

1064
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 4: Not sure what to do with my life because their

1065
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 4: life has been about everybody else for so long, you know,

1066
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 4: the way, like us women, we want to appear to

1067
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 4: have it all together and this pressure to be all

1068
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,880
Speaker 4: of us be like each other, But then we're not.

1069
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 3: How boring is that? Like, we're not we're not allowing.

1070
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 4: Ourselves to really bring forth our gifts because everybody has

1071
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 4: something to bring into the world or multiple some things.

1072
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 3: Your purpose changes as you grow, or it grows with you.

1073
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 3: It's one or the other, you know. And I think that.

1074
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 4: Most of the time it's a woman operating so much

1075
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 4: from her masculine energy that everything in her life is

1076
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 4: really suffering and she's set up with it. I mean, really,

1077
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 4: to be totally honest, It's like, I know, I'm fighting

1078
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 4: with my husband, I'm fighting with my boyfriend, or I'm

1079
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 4: attracting these these men that I don't want to be with,

1080
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,839
Speaker 4: but I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. And then

1081
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 4: once we start realizing that there's a lot of shame

1082
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 4: lodged in the womb, or there's a lot of walls

1083
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 4: built around the heart center. You know, all of the

1084
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 4: things that make them feminine at the core is all

1085
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 4: blocked off. So what I do is I move them

1086
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 4: around in ways that I feel called to, and then

1087
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,399
Speaker 4: we try to get all those emotions up and out

1088
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 4: so that we can start seeing what's really in there,

1089
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 4: what's really going on, and how they can connect back

1090
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 4: to themselves because a lot of us have really lost

1091
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 4: what I call our womanness. You lost what it means

1092
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 4: to be naturally in our feminine because it's like that's

1093
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 4: the weakness. I don't want to look weak, but it

1094
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 4: is really our superpower, and that's what you know. My

1095
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,800
Speaker 4: goal is to really help women realize.

1096
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was laughing because that was exactly how my

1097
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 1: life played out, the burnout, the crash and burn you know,

1098
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: and I wish I had known about you then, But

1099
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you are bringing this knowledge to women.

1100
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 1: And also, like I think the word that keeps coming

1101
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 1: to my mind is just empowering because it doesn't need

1102
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,359
Speaker 1: to feel weak, like this is actually, like I said,

1103
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: the strongest I have felt within myself and knowing that,

1104
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 1: like just the uniqueness that you just described, even that

1105
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 1: is your superpower, like you said, just like not trying

1106
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: to fit in the mold that works for everyone else

1107
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 1: because it doesn't work for me, Like it doesn't. And

1108
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: I think it's like a gift that the things that

1109
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 1: I was trying kind of fell apart because now I

1110
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: can actually tap into what truly does line up and

1111
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 1: what my unique gifts actually can bring to the table.

1112
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 3: Isn't that.

1113
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 4: It is?

1114
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 1: But I was trying so long to do things that

1115
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 1: I saw work for other people, you know, like they're

1116
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: doing that successfully. I want to be successful, So I'm

1117
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: going to like model my life after that. I have

1118
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: somewhat of that skill set, so here I can do that,

1119
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: But it wasn't me.

1120
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it'll never bring you the fulfillment that.

1121
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 4: Oh it's exhausting you think it is, you know, or

1122
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 4: that you think it's going to You're the only person

1123
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 4: that can bring you into the world, and that's the

1124
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,439
Speaker 4: reason why you're here is to bring forth what makes

1125
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 4: you you, you know, And so if you're trying to

1126
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 4: if you're there's already like one of this person and

1127
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 4: one of that person, so if you're trying to just

1128
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,439
Speaker 4: bring that, like copy that and bring it, then you're

1129
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 4: never truly shining, like force your own light into the world.

1130
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 4: And that's what I feel like we need more of,

1131
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 4: is people learning how to connect more to themselves and

1132
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 4: to embrace their unique gifts or embrace what makes them them. Yes,

1133
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 4: I mean we're all walking around looking like the same woman,

1134
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 4: trying to have the same body and trying to wear

1135
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 4: the same clothes. You know. I think all of that

1136
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 4: fashion and all that's so great, but we're dimming our light,

1137
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 4: trying to force ourselves to be something that we're not.

1138
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I could go on a whole that's a

1139
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 2: whole nother podcast.

1140
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 3: I know it is.

1141
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 1: It is. Well, I just love you so much and

1142
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: I love what you're bringing. And I also want to

1143
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: tell you guys that Melissa does have a podcast. I

1144
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 1: was listening this morning. I love this new episode with

1145
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: It was called something about like is.

1146
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 2: He right for you?

1147
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 4: Or?

1148
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 1: And you gave out all of these questions to ask yourself.

1149
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: And I actually think that you could apply that to

1150
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: many different areas of your life, like you know, asking

1151
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: yourself about work or whatever you're feeling. Really disconnected from

1152
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,439
Speaker 1: because all it was doing was just really highlighting again

1153
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:13,480
Speaker 1: the values and the things that like are you bringing

1154
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 1: your true self to this situation or are you allowed to?

1155
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 1: And I thought the checklist was so it was so

1156
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 1: helpful to me because again it validated like some situations

1157
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 1: that aren't in my life anymore, being like they weren't

1158
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 1: in alignment. That's why they would never work. Nobody has

1159
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: to be bad, nothing has to be bad. It's just

1160
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 1: like out of alignment. And okay, so tell people about

1161
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 1: the heart On podcast. That's the that's the most recent one,

1162
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 1: but there's a ton of different content on this podcast.

1163
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 2: It's amazing.

1164
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, the heart On.

1165
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 4: I think there's like one hundred and forty episodes now.

1166
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 4: The newest one was called is He Good for You?

1167
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 2: Okay, And it's just.

1168
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 4: Giving you clarity around maybe what you're already feeling but

1169
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 4: you're just afraid to realize it.

1170
00:59:58,400 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 3: Because I think that if you're.

1171
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 4: Confused about the way you feel about someone, or you're

1172
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 4: confused about how they feel about you, then there's something

1173
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 4: that's off, there's something that's not quite in alignment or

1174
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 4: something that needs to be talked about.

1175
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 3: So I cover every.

1176
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 4: Angle as far as healing stuff, feminine masculine energies, connecting

1177
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 4: to your sexuality, relationships, anything that I really feel called

1178
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:23,680
Speaker 4: to talk about on the show, or things that I

1179
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 4: do a lot of question.

1180
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 3: And answers based upon you know, Instagram and emails and

1181
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 3: things like that. I love do love doing this show.

1182
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:31,960
Speaker 5: I do.

1183
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 3: I love doing my show.

1184
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:34,840
Speaker 2: I really do.

1185
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 4: It's such a podcasting is such a beautiful space to

1186
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 4: connect with people and can also just share about what

1187
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 4: you've learned.

1188
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 3: I just I love it.

1189
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 1: That's why I'm just curious you do this solo thing.

1190
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: I struggle there, like I need the energy of another

1191
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 1: person to kind of maybe it's just go through the

1192
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: conversation or anything like that. But yeah, I'm so impressed

1193
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 1: by both you and Jake because you'll do a full

1194
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 1: podcast of just telling people what you're learning and it's

1195
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: so helpful. But I can I literally like when I

1196
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 1: said to do it, I'm like, uh, my brain goes

1197
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 1: dead or something.

1198
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1199
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 3: But you feel into it, cal you don't I walk

1200
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 3: down the street and.

1201
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 2: Just talk, So yeah, maybe I need to practice that.

1202
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1203
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 4: It's just I feel, at least in my perspective, like

1204
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 4: I like to work things out by speaking out loud,

1205
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 4: and so for a long time I was nervous about

1206
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 4: doing that.

1207
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, wuyet And so the more I do it

1208
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 3: now I don't. I don't really even think about it.

1209
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,800
Speaker 3: I just kind of talk and see what shows up

1210
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 3: and share, you know, how I feel.

1211
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 4: About things and what's been going on in you know,

1212
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:48,200
Speaker 4: my life or my relationship, or how I can just

1213
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 4: guide others toward feeling a little bit better in their

1214
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 4: own life. I don't know, it's just I love that.

1215
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 4: I just love the podcast space. I think it's pretty

1216
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 4: magical if you allow it to be. I think I

1217
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 4: could do a solo episode, I.

1218
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 1: Do a couple, but maybe to me letting go again,

1219
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 1: you know, that might.

1220
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 4: Be what it is is we're thinking, what this needs

1221
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 4: to be is some people just really enjoy you and

1222
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 4: this is what happened this week, and this is.

1223
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 3: A story about X, Y and Z and this is

1224
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 3: how I feel about it. I don't know, I think

1225
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 3: it would be cool. I think you should at least

1226
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 3: consider because remember, like let's go all the way back

1227
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 3: to the beginning, you're never going to be ready to

1228
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 3: do anything.

1229
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 1: I mean That's how this whole thing started for me.

1230
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: I got this podcast. Like the head of my network

1231
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 1: was like, you should do a podcast. Would you want

1232
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:40,200
Speaker 1: to be on this network? And I was like, oh no, no, no, no,

1233
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: I can do a podcast. And he finally convinced me.

1234
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:46,480
Speaker 1: And then it literally took me like three months to

1235
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 1: sit down and record my first episode because I couldn't.

1236
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 1: I was like wanting the perfect episode. And he finally

1237
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: was like, you just have to do it. You just

1238
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 1: have to do it, and you learn as you go

1239
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,439
Speaker 1: with this stuff. But letting go of like not having

1240
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: it figure out before I did it was a really

1241
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 1: difficult thing. And the truth was is I just got

1242
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 1: so much better as I did it.

1243
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 3: Like they said, you just have to start. You just

1244
01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 3: you just have to start. Jake used to say to me,

1245
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 3: I remember when I started the podcast.

1246
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 4: I was doing the same thing, like overthinking, like I've

1247
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 4: just stuttered and I think that this didn't come out

1248
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 4: fast enough. And he's like, Melissa, good, is good enough?

1249
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 4: Just get it out there, and I'm like we're like, no,

1250
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 4: perfect is go scared but it is.

1251
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 3: But that's the thing. The only way you learn how

1252
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 3: to do things is just by doing them.

1253
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it.

1254
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for being here. I love

1255
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 1: talking to you. Like we said earlier, we could talk forever.

1256
01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:40,320
Speaker 1: So I will try to keep this in a time

1257
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 1: limit for you guys listening. But tell the people listening

1258
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: where they can go find you, and especially if they

1259
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 1: want to reach out about diving deeper into their own

1260
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: work with the Feminine.

1261
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 3: Absolutely. My last name is really long, so I will

1262
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:54,840
Speaker 3: spell it, but maybe you could throw.

1263
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:55,200
Speaker 4: It in the show.

1264
01:03:55,200 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 2: I'll put it in the description too, yes, because.

1265
01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: My Instagram is Melissa Underscore Scambalori. So ready it's s

1266
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 3: G A M B E L L. You are I.

1267
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 2: First time I met you, I was like Melissa's la la.

1268
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm so used to it, and it's the same

1269
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 4: for the website is just Melissa Scambalori dot com and

1270
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,440
Speaker 4: that's where you can check out some of the I have,

1271
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:29,439
Speaker 4: you know, my Radiant Woman course, which is a great

1272
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 4: jump start to Feminine Energy, or if you're just looking

1273
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 4: to reconnect and learn a little bit more, and then

1274
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 4: the podcast and I'm.

1275
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 3: Around you know.

1276
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys, the connection and flows if you do

1277
01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 1: have some stuff on your Instagram too, So if you

1278
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 1: wanted to go test that out. People can go try

1279
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: that because it can feel kind of silly at first,

1280
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 1: but I do encourage you guys to go do it. Seriously.

1281
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: It is like one of the most freeing things. Like

1282
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 1: I told you earlier, I have literally gotten in the

1283
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,680
Speaker 1: habit of doing a dance break at least once a day,

1284
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 1: and it shifts my whole day every time. Like I

1285
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 1: was kind of spiraling in something yesterday and I was

1286
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 1: like I would Melissa told me to dance, so I'm

1287
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 1: gonna dance.

1288
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 3: I just do. Okaw, I love it.

1289
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:10,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, it helped.

1290
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 1: It shifts everything and then I can get out of

1291
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:13,439
Speaker 1: my head and keep going.

1292
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 4: And that's the whole purpose of movement is to get

1293
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 4: out of your head and get into your body so

1294
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,920
Speaker 4: that you can feel more empowered.

1295
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 3: To take on the rest of the day.

1296
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.

1297
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of you. That's amazing.

1298
01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:26,400
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1299
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 1: Well, you guys go check out Melissa Scambalori at all

1300
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 1: of the I'm gonna put all of her notes in

1301
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,920
Speaker 1: the description of this podcast, so you guys can just

1302
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 1: click through there. But again, thank you so much, and

1303
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 1: we'll do this again.

1304
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 2: We got to catch up again I would love that,

1305
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 2: and thank you for having me. This is a lot

1306
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 2: of fun, all right. Thank you guys for listening.