Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks in this episode, Candy, your relationship
Speaker 1: survived the immigration test. Welcome to this episode of Amy
Speaker 1: and TJ. When we're talking about here robes. It's something
Speaker 1: that got our attention because we are huge ninety Day
Speaker 1: Fiance fans, and a lot of people should know what
Speaker 1: that means. That show's everywhere and it's been spawned how many,
Speaker 1: like twenty spinoffs.
Speaker 2: We still have been discovering new spinoffs that we didn't
Speaker 2: know existed, Like there's one in Paradise, there's one in
Speaker 2: the Caribbean. Yeah, we've been watching the one in the Caribbean.
Speaker 1: There's ninety day the other way, there's ninety day UK,
Speaker 1: there's ninety day before the ninety day, there's ninety day.
Speaker 2: After ever after where this question mark, there was another one?
Speaker 1: Okay anyway on. The show has been wildly successful, but
Speaker 1: it all stemmed from originally the original one was about, Yes,
Speaker 1: Americans find people they want to marry in other lands,
Speaker 1: in other countries, and then they bring them here to
Speaker 1: the US and you have this K one visa that
Speaker 1: gives you ninety days. Once they get here, you have
Speaker 1: ninety days to get married. Part of the process. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to get this K one visa, and you
Speaker 1: have to pass a test to prove that your relationship
Speaker 1: is real. Could you pass the tests right?
Speaker 2: And so we were watching actually just this week, and
Speaker 2: we saw one couple who legitimately was in love as
Speaker 2: far as we could tell. In fact, I think this
Speaker 2: couple we googled and found out they actually are expecting
Speaker 2: a child, so it was successful. But they were studying
Speaker 2: together to try and pass this immigration exam. I think
Speaker 2: at one point she said, Okay, what high school did
Speaker 2: I go to?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: What high school did you go to? So they're trying
Speaker 2: to remember all these things about each other's lives and
Speaker 2: catch up so to speak, to prove to the immigration
Speaker 2: officer that they are in fact a couple. It got
Speaker 2: us thinking would we be able or and I thought
Speaker 2: a lot of people would be interested. Would your relationship
Speaker 2: be able to pass the immigration test?
Speaker 1: If you had to go in there answer questions about
Speaker 1: your significant other, would you pass it in front of
Speaker 1: an immigration officer? I would like to think we would
Speaker 1: think about this. That made me nervous. And we're about
Speaker 1: to take this test. We have not seen the questions,
Speaker 1: and again they're simple questions. I don't put the exact ones,
Speaker 1: but we get an idea of it, and our producer
Speaker 1: is going to ask us the questions here in a second.
Speaker 1: The only part I'm nervous about in answering is that
Speaker 1: we know each other so well, but so much of
Speaker 1: it is behavioral versus your resume, Like I don't know
Speaker 1: a lot of little details about you went to this
Speaker 1: elementary school and you went here, and high school mascot
Speaker 1: was this, and I don't know that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: The thing that worries me is we've known each other
Speaker 2: now for ten years. We've been in a relationship for
Speaker 2: more than two, but we've been friends for a long time,
Speaker 2: and so we like, you know, when I tell a story,
Speaker 2: you sapes. I've heard that five times. So we've got
Speaker 2: that kind of a relationship going. But right, I mean
Speaker 2: up until I don't know facts twenty fourteen, I know
Speaker 2: I don't know all the details.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna be good. So we don't know if
Speaker 1: we can pass a relationship test. Take this along with
Speaker 1: us again, But we are hearing these questions for the
Speaker 1: first time. We were very with our producer. Don't tell
Speaker 1: us anything. We didn't google anything because we wanted to
Speaker 1: do this fresh, So let's give it a shot. That's
Speaker 1: Andy's gonna help us out here, super producer. Andy that
Speaker 1: you all, if you listen to the show, you're very
Speaker 1: familiar with Andy. But he is gonna fire away. We're
Speaker 1: gonna go back and forth.
Speaker 2: Agree, yes, right, yes, And Andy has taken this job
Speaker 2: very seriously. He has friends who have gone through the
Speaker 2: K one visa process. He did a lot of research
Speaker 2: online because it's not like they give you the list
Speaker 2: of questions, because then everybody would just study the list.
Speaker 2: So he has gone to great pains actually to make
Speaker 2: this as legit as possible. So again, yeah, we encourage
Speaker 2: you if you're listening, play along with us with your partner.
Speaker 2: All right, Andy, the floor is yours saying the first one?
Speaker 1: Sure, all right, go ahead Andy.
Speaker 3: All right, Amy, What is something small but meaningful your
Speaker 3: fiance does for you?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Sorry, your partner in this case does for you every day.
Speaker 2: Something small and meaningful that my partner does for me
Speaker 2: each and every day. Well, he gets up an hour
Speaker 2: ahead of me to get ahead on the world for
Speaker 2: our podcast morning run because he's more of a really
Speaker 2: early morning person. So I appreciate that that's something it's
Speaker 2: maybe it's not even that small, but I notice it
Speaker 2: and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Okay. The only issue I take with that, Andy, she said,
Speaker 1: I get up an hour is like an hour and
Speaker 1: a half. That's the only issue I take with this.
Speaker 2: I thought, you bet up at two forty five and
Speaker 2: I get up at three forty five.
Speaker 1: I'm up at two thirty.
Speaker 2: Easy, ok, the hour and fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: This is what we're gonna go. This is our problem.
Speaker 3: The relationships feels real. You know the times you're waking up.
Speaker 1: You know what that I bet? The immigration officer said, yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all are good. Y'all, y'all are bickering and bitching over
Speaker 1: time on my first question. Yeah, that's the relationship.
Speaker 3: All right, TEJ? Who is more of a morning person?
Speaker 3: You were me?
Speaker 1: Easy? Not a problem, done deal.
Speaker 2: That's not even You'll get zero disagreement for me on that.
Speaker 1: Oh it's interesting they would ask these kinds, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you would have to know someone and be in bed
Speaker 1: with someone or be talking to someone every single morning
Speaker 1: to know what kind of morning person if they are not,
Speaker 1: that's a good question, all right.
Speaker 3: Next question, Amy, what was TJ's first job?
Speaker 2: TJ's first job was at Red Lobster. He was a host.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he was a server, but he
Speaker 2: was Red Lobster.
Speaker 1: My first job was as a painter when I was
Speaker 1: in high school.
Speaker 2: I did know that, yep, I did know that.
Speaker 1: There was a group of us who are the sons
Speaker 1: of the administrators in the school district, and they we
Speaker 1: put together a paint crew and we would go around
Speaker 1: and paints do touch up work at all the schools
Speaker 1: around the school district. So that was my first job.
Speaker 1: You heard that story, but you don't remember that.
Speaker 2: I don't think I necessarily assigned that as your first job.
Speaker 2: I guess I was thinking more in a professional setting,
Speaker 2: but painting is a professional's.
Speaker 1: Professional setting Red Lobster.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: Tej? Your question, if you could describe your partner in
Speaker 3: one word, what would it be?
Speaker 1: Enthusiastic?
Speaker 2: I think that's very true.
Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't even hesitate. I am Wow, you.
Speaker 2: Nailed that's good.
Speaker 3: Amy. If you sorry, who's the better dancer you or TJ?
Speaker 2: TJ is the better dancer?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I mean there's so many things we
Speaker 1: could say there, but yeah, that's a yes. I have rhythm.
Speaker 2: Yes he can. He can dance on the threes and
Speaker 2: fives and I'm stuck on the twos and four.
Speaker 1: You hear that threes and fives, there's there's only ones, twos,
Speaker 1: threes and fours. See clearly, clearly.
Speaker 2: He dances on the ones and threes.
Speaker 1: And fours and four.
Speaker 2: I just proved my own point that TJ has better
Speaker 2: rhythm than I do.
Speaker 1: This is fun fun We okay, we don't need to
Speaker 1: get to washing into this, but it's always funny, and
Speaker 1: pointed out that you naturally when songs are all you
Speaker 1: clap on the ones and the threes, and I'm on
Speaker 1: the twos and fours. It's just the snare that's the key.
Speaker 1: Listen to the snare and that'll be your twos and fours.
Speaker 2: It's not really that helpful, know what a snare sounds like.
Speaker 1: It's the drum that just But.
Speaker 2: Isn't there a drum that goes on the ones and
Speaker 2: threes too.
Speaker 1: Not the one that's keeping the beat for the song?
Speaker 2: I hear, the one that goes on the ones and threes?
Speaker 1: What's the I wish We can't play any music right now?
Speaker 1: Right we can't. We don't have the rights much money.
Speaker 1: But it's so funny to hear that you were keeping
Speaker 1: a beat. M that'll be mine and yours will be.
Speaker 3: Okay, so it's been decided. You're definitely the better dance. Yes,
Speaker 3: the rhythm is there? Got it? Okay, Uh, let's see
Speaker 3: t J.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: What are some of the things you have in common
Speaker 3: with your partner?
Speaker 1: We both love horror movies, we both love skinny Margarita's,
Speaker 1: we both we both love college football, specifically SEC. We
Speaker 1: both love travel, we both love beaches. Man, what am I?
Speaker 1: How am I doing?
Speaker 2: Uh? You're doing? Well? There was there was something. There's
Speaker 2: a million things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's uh you said. In common? Are our
Speaker 1: upbringing our trajectory through journalism, our careers? We have? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got a lot of comments.
Speaker 2: Okay, we both have daughters. Wow, well this is your question,
Speaker 2: not mine. Why am I trying to jump in?
Speaker 1: You know, I think I would have passed. It's not
Speaker 1: just yes or no.
Speaker 3: That would have been a good I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: getting some intimate details.
Speaker 1: Okay, there we go.
Speaker 3: Yes, Yes, two daughters thing, that's what the horror movies,
Speaker 3: the skinny Margaritas. I didn't know you both like skinny margarita.
Speaker 3: That's fun. What's your favorite place to go get them?
Speaker 3: That's not one of the questions, but you know, I
Speaker 3: am an interviewer.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna say one of two places, Cali. Okay,
Speaker 1: ye oh yeah, we can. This is an interviews done.
Speaker 1: We nailed it.
Speaker 3: We're again, Please leave the office. Amy, What is the
Speaker 3: longest time you've been apart and how did you handle it?
Speaker 2: This is hilarious. Since we've been together, the longest we've
Speaker 2: been apart was perhaps it's either when I took my
Speaker 2: daughter's to Oslo, which was four or five nights, perhaps,
Speaker 2: and you know, it's just been a night here and
Speaker 2: a night there other than that, so perhaps it's maybe
Speaker 2: only been four nights and I missed him every second.
Speaker 1: That's probably right, four or five. I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: that Sabine and I went to Dominican Dominican. I don't
Speaker 1: know how long. That was, probably four or five, but
Speaker 1: that's the most.
Speaker 2: It's Yeah, I think I think five nights might be
Speaker 2: the most. And it's very rare. We're talking once a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Tej. What's a funny story you both
Speaker 3: like to tell about your relationship.
Speaker 1: Oh, most of our stories are very serious. Have you
Speaker 1: not heard about our relationship? Does nothing funny?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: You said, funny story? Okay, we need.
Speaker 2: Some more funny stories we have.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, we have a lot of We have
Speaker 1: a ton of funny stories. I love the story about
Speaker 1: the wonderful lunch we had at Industry Kitchen. We will
Speaker 1: never forget that lunch.
Speaker 2: A funny story.
Speaker 1: That's a great story.
Speaker 2: It was jet lagged from Mexico.
Speaker 1: Do they need us to tell it? So we have
Speaker 1: to tell this to Damn, I just set it up.
Speaker 1: Can I tell it?
Speaker 2: Sure? Maybe not fully?
Speaker 1: Okay, then never mind find the story.
Speaker 2: Never mind too funny and it's too good to tell.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of there's a stuff out of Las Vegas,
Speaker 1: your roulette issues in Vegas.
Speaker 2: How about how people fall around us? Okay, there's a
Speaker 2: that is a funny story.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a weird thing that we have. I think
Speaker 1: I think you consider me to have the superpower.
Speaker 2: I think you have the superpower. I think you have
Speaker 2: what did you call it?
Speaker 1: There's a radius around me, and if people getting a
Speaker 1: certain radius around me, people just fall. You all will
Speaker 1: not believe the number of people who have literally taken
Speaker 1: spills right at our feet, who like the most the
Speaker 1: hilarious America's funniest home video type falls you have ever seen, men, women, children,
Speaker 1: children bounce.
Speaker 2: I don't feel as bad because they don't really get
Speaker 2: to hurt anybody. If anybody gets hurt, it's not funny.
Speaker 2: But I am somebody. I have fully admitted this. I'm
Speaker 2: not proud of it. Some of my other friends who
Speaker 2: share this, including TJ, and I believe, my mother and
Speaker 2: both of my daughters, we all think falling is funny,
Speaker 2: like physical comedy is funny, Like it just is. I
Speaker 2: don't want anyone to be hurt, but it's just funny.
Speaker 2: And I feel like no matter where we go, especially
Speaker 2: when we travel, and especially if it's been a little stressful,
Speaker 2: we're kind of the tensions are building up, and then whammo,
Speaker 2: someone falls right in front of TJ in a very hilarious,
Speaker 2: dramatic fashion, to the point where we actually have to
Speaker 2: separate and walk away because we're laughing so hard tears
Speaker 2: are coming out of our eyes.
Speaker 1: Nobody's ever gonna believe, but it's hard to explain people
Speaker 1: fall in front of us in a way Babies have
Speaker 1: gone flying out of strollers. There have been what was
Speaker 1: the woman just in Venice dropped their baby and.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. And then and then how about when
Speaker 2: we were in France and one man took down his wife, Yes,
Speaker 2: and they were like we could have touched them and
Speaker 2: they fell completely and we had to separate. That one
Speaker 2: was really really funny.
Speaker 1: It seem like we've referred We should clear this up.
Speaker 1: It seems like we referred to a couple of babies
Speaker 1: flying out of stroke. We're not just laughing at babies falling.
Speaker 1: And it's not majority babies.
Speaker 2: Majority people like runners when you're out running, like just bite.
Speaker 1: Oh man, that girl fell at my feet when we
Speaker 1: left the restaurant.
Speaker 2: Okay, So how about when we were in Las Vegas. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you mentioned this, you said roulette, But how about the
Speaker 2: guy who walked into okay, walk into the entrance of
Speaker 2: the restaurant we were at and fell on his face
Speaker 2: in front of everything, Like right, that would be maybe
Speaker 2: a once and every five year thing. You'd see. We
Speaker 2: see this. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: Weekly, Yeah, it's once a week weekly, real fall. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: mister immigration officer, obviously we've spent time together, No for sure.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be around in triple full in
Speaker 3: front of you.
Speaker 2: Wat we will laugh as long as you're okay.
Speaker 3: Amy, where was your first date?
Speaker 1: Okay? I have that answer, and I assume it's going
Speaker 1: to be your answer as well.
Speaker 2: Our first date. I am struggling with this, our first date.
Speaker 1: It's almost a trick question.
Speaker 2: I mean, would it be o'donna use our first date?
Speaker 2: I I don't know what it was because we were
Speaker 2: friends for so long, went out for so long. Everything
Speaker 2: happened so organically. I don't remember actually saying this is
Speaker 2: a date.
Speaker 1: And that is the answer. Mister officers. We have no
Speaker 1: idea when we had a first date, because we have
Speaker 1: for ten years and going out. Let's go grab a drink,
Speaker 1: go have lunch, go do We have been doing that
Speaker 1: from the jump, So at one point we didn't go
Speaker 1: out to eat and say, hey we're dating now, this
Speaker 1: is our first date. No, we just kept it flowing
Speaker 1: and it was just such an organic thing. Yes, we
Speaker 1: are a couple who has zero clue and cannot name
Speaker 1: a single restaurant, day or time that we had a first.
Speaker 2: Dictum, we don't even have an anniversary.
Speaker 1: I know, say it ain't it.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: We've talked about it, like what day should we celebrate us?
Speaker 1: I don't know. We could just pick one, pick them all, all.
Speaker 3: Right, TJ. This is the question number ten. If you
Speaker 3: could both live anywhere in the world, where would it
Speaker 3: be and why.
Speaker 1: There's a practical answer to this, and there is a
Speaker 1: different ant. The practical answer is New York because Sabine
Speaker 1: is here. I have to stay here. She's in school here,
Speaker 1: my twelve year old daughter. So that is the practical answer.
Speaker 1: Now you throw that out. I think possibly saw you
Speaker 1: lead in Mexico because of the place we have robots,
Speaker 1: certainly spent a lot of time. But we were down
Speaker 1: in that area together and it's just a wonderful, sleepy,
Speaker 1: cool little beach town that we could possibly be looking
Speaker 1: at property as we speak.
Speaker 2: I actually last night said this to TJ. Why do
Speaker 2: we not as soon as we can figure out how
Speaker 2: to buy something in Mexico and just live there. I
Speaker 2: literally said that last night. So you nailed it.
Speaker 1: Wow, that was how we only got one wrong? I
Speaker 1: say we, I mean you, we only got one wrong
Speaker 1: out of the tent so far.
Speaker 2: Your first job, right, Yeah, but that was just.
Speaker 1: A brain fart on your bar. You knew the story,
Speaker 1: but coming Okay, we're doing all and it.
Speaker 2: Did work at Red Lobster. It just wasn't your first job.
Speaker 1: Oh man, those shirts with the I don't know what
Speaker 1: they wear now, but it was the fish all over
Speaker 1: the shirts. It was a button up short sleeve and
Speaker 1: khaki shorts. Attractive, I swear, Oh no, no, I had.
Speaker 1: There was an apron thing that went around here too.
Speaker 2: Somehow you probably made it look cool.
Speaker 1: I did well annoying you staying with us here, folks,
Speaker 1: we got ten more questions to go.
Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone. We are halfway through our immigration test
Speaker 2: to see if our relationship in fact is real, is legit,
Speaker 2: and we were curious not to see just how well
Speaker 2: we knew each other if it would pass the test.
Speaker 2: Hopefully some of you are playing along with us with
Speaker 2: your significant partner. If anything, it sparks fun conversations about
Speaker 2: getting to know each other even better and perhaps realizing
Speaker 2: there are maybe some room, there is some room for improvement.
Speaker 2: We'll find out we've done so well. I missed the
Speaker 2: first job. Let's see how we do in these last
Speaker 2: ten questions. Andy take it away.
Speaker 3: Okay, Amy, what is TJ's favorite hobby.
Speaker 2: TJ's favorite hobby is riding his motorcycle or taking care
Speaker 2: of his motorcycle. Just something about tinkering with his motorcycle.
Speaker 2: But it involves his motorcycle.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's that's fair. The other one I was going
Speaker 1: to say was running.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's an obvious one, and I was weighing that
Speaker 2: as well, But I feel like that's become more of
Speaker 2: like it's less of a hobby.
Speaker 1: I love that bike.
Speaker 2: The bike is a hobby.
Speaker 1: I love that bike.
Speaker 3: TJ with Amy's favorite hobby, hobby.
Speaker 1: Hobby she likes. She likes hiking. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's an activity or that's a hobby. I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a hobby. It's different running, Like I said, that's not
Speaker 1: a hobby. Shopping isn't a hobby.
Speaker 2: Wow. Right, So would you like me to tell you
Speaker 2: what I would say my hobbies are but your hobbies are?
Speaker 2: I have two that I haven't been able to do
Speaker 2: around you very often because of the circumstances. But I
Speaker 2: would say two of them are interior decorating and gardening. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: I love those are my two like favorite things to
Speaker 2: do that I haven't been able to do a lot
Speaker 2: of But yes, so you haven't. In fairness to you,
Speaker 2: you haven't seen me.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of it. There was something else
Speaker 1: you're saying, something else makes you happy. I can't remember
Speaker 1: what it was. But yes, that's fair. But yes, you
Speaker 1: don't do un Let's see you get excited. Yes, to
Speaker 1: do anything to paint a wall?
Speaker 2: Yes, I love I love doing anything for like interior design. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's my favorite.
Speaker 1: So that qualifies is a myss for me? Then?
Speaker 2: Yeah, now we're even awesome.
Speaker 3: It's not a competition, baby, TJ. Do you have any
Speaker 3: shared future goals or dreams.
Speaker 1: Do the two of us? Yes? Uh? Shared future goals
Speaker 1: or dreams? Yes we do. Uh, future goals running this
Speaker 1: year's New York City Marathon, getting a property in Mexico.
Speaker 1: We'll skip all the wedding stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm the immigration officer, so I would actually like to
Speaker 3: after the K one process.
Speaker 1: You know, I just want to talk to my mom
Speaker 1: about it first, mister OFFICERSA uh no, But yes, we
Speaker 1: have a lot of shared you said, what was it?
Speaker 1: Shared goals and dreams? Dreams to be able to continue
Speaker 1: to work together and be wildly successful at it. That
Speaker 1: is a dream of ours.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, Amy, what's one thing your partner does that
Speaker 3: you never expected?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: One thing my partner does that I never expected. Oh
Speaker 2: he loves to outlet shop. That was a huge shock
Speaker 2: to me and a welcome surprise. So yeah. So when
Speaker 2: I think we were somewhere renting a house and I
Speaker 2: saw an outlet mall and I was like, oh, an
Speaker 2: outlet mall and he's like, let's go, And I just thought,
Speaker 2: are you my dream man? What is happening? So that
Speaker 2: surprised me in a very good way.
Speaker 1: I do love some outlet shopping. I don't know what
Speaker 1: that's about. General, most guys don't like to shop, that's exact.
Speaker 2: And most guys especially don't like to outlet shop because
Speaker 2: it requires, you know, a little bit of digging and
Speaker 2: a little bit of searching. You know, you're you're trying
Speaker 2: to find a deal. There's some excitement in getting something
Speaker 2: that is a percentage off. That typically speaks to girls.
Speaker 2: That's been my experience. You love the whole process.
Speaker 1: Well, what is it? It's not? Don't guys often not
Speaker 1: like shopping because they end up having to shop with
Speaker 1: their partner and they end up sitting in that sad
Speaker 1: little corner in the store with the other men holding bags. Correct,
Speaker 1: two of them are asleep, three of them are making
Speaker 1: it looking at.
Speaker 2: The racks sometimes not just for yourself, but for us
Speaker 2: to bean or for even for me, Like you're you're
Speaker 2: looking around. You like the act of shopping.
Speaker 1: That's true, especially outlet shopping.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, Andy seems surprised by the way he was,
Speaker 2: like his eyes flew.
Speaker 1: What's the one out there.
Speaker 2: The Woodbury? We've been there multiple times?
Speaker 1: All right? I called that outlet not too long ago
Speaker 1: because I had something I bought at the outlet Christmas
Speaker 1: time and I loved it so much, and then I
Speaker 1: can't find it anywhere online. So I called the outlet store.
Speaker 1: I just was two weeks ago, isn't it? I called
Speaker 1: a story Woodburg Commons. Please tell me you got it?
Speaker 1: They didn't, By the way, it's that deep, uh TJ.
Speaker 3: What's the best advice Amy has ever? Give you?
Speaker 1: The best? I'm trying to think of so many of
Speaker 1: the h because you gave me a lot of what
Speaker 1: Eckhart totally titles. Uh Michael Singer titles. I think, man,
Speaker 1: I'm plucking it from Michael Singer's book. But I want
Speaker 1: to say it came from you for some reason, This
Speaker 1: idea of not continuing to trip over things you've already
Speaker 1: gotten passed. It's in one of Michael Singer's books. The
Speaker 1: way it was put was that just you, you passed
Speaker 1: by a small child and a stroller on the street,
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, child's cute, and then the child is
Speaker 1: gone and you move on by to day and don't
Speaker 1: think about that kid again. Well, why don't you treat
Speaker 1: all your troubles that way? Why don't you treat people right,
Speaker 1: people that get in your way that way? Why why
Speaker 1: we have such a I think what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: say here is that the advice I got that I
Speaker 1: picked up on this was before we started dating, and
Speaker 1: when I needed it at the time, was to not
Speaker 1: get hung up on things you've already passed or gone
Speaker 1: by a way of just settling your mind to a
Speaker 1: certain degree. But that came from and I was in
Speaker 1: a very difficult and dark place at that time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we started a lot of our deep
Speaker 2: conversations happened purely as friends early on. So yes, and
Speaker 2: I would not take any credit for any of the
Speaker 2: device but it was only yes things that I gleaned
Speaker 2: from Michael Singer and Ecartoli. I think one of my
Speaker 2: favorite things he says is relax and release, which is
Speaker 2: maybe similar to what you're saying. So you relax, you
Speaker 2: relax yourself, you acknowledge that you're feeling stressed, you're acknowledged
Speaker 2: that you're having a problem. You relax, and then you
Speaker 2: feel it and then you release it and you let
Speaker 2: it go, and you don't let it build up inside
Speaker 2: you and create what he calls thorns. So that now
Speaker 2: anytime anyone else does something that reminds you of that
Speaker 2: or brings that feeling back up, because you haven't let
Speaker 2: it go, You've stored it. He calls it a thorn.
Speaker 2: And so then you go about your life trying to
Speaker 2: make sure people don't touch your thorns instead of acknowledging
Speaker 2: the thorn and releasing it. And so, yes, that is
Speaker 2: something I constantly have to remind myself of. My best
Speaker 2: friend Nikki put that on her arm, Relax and release.
Speaker 1: She tattooed it, and I have surrender tattooed on my arm. Actually,
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to think of some advice you give
Speaker 1: me now, as in a relationship as a mate, advice
Speaker 1: you give me, can't think.
Speaker 2: Of any lovely.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to, like on a daily baside, to do
Speaker 1: this or make sure you remember this, or don't forget this,
Speaker 1: or I can't think of any right now. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm just under the pressure of the interview right now,
Speaker 1: and I can't relax my mind. That's my problem right now,
Speaker 1: got it. I'm nervous about this, Okay. I just want
Speaker 1: to do a good job, and I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: blowing it.
Speaker 3: Amy, do you remember the first time you met TJ's kids.
Speaker 2: I don't remember the first time because Sabine, I know
Speaker 2: that she would have been won and she was always
Speaker 2: running around the Good Morning America studios. So I do
Speaker 2: remember that I met her when she was couldn't speak,
Speaker 2: and that she was the cutest little damn thing ever
Speaker 2: in like just the cutest little outfit and shy is all,
Speaker 2: and just probably hugging TJ's leg and me saying hi, Sabine,
Speaker 2: and her maybe putting her face in his leg. But
Speaker 2: that I don't have the exact date, but I have
Speaker 2: like an idea of it, and I remember how little
Speaker 2: she was.
Speaker 1: Now she's twelve and annoying as hell.
Speaker 2: I think she's still sweet.
Speaker 1: She is a she is a great kid. She really
Speaker 1: really is a good kid. And you have had so
Speaker 1: much of an impact in her world or like over
Speaker 1: the past two years. Look, she's dealt with some upheaval,
Speaker 1: but you've been a very settling part of that. And
Speaker 1: she spends seems like all of her wake time with us.
Speaker 1: But no, no, she is she man, She's a good kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm trying even And Elise, I met them, who knows.
Speaker 2: You met them when they were much much younger as well.
Speaker 2: It's one of those things where when we because it
Speaker 2: started out as just a friendship for so long, we
Speaker 2: can't remember when we first met. We cannot remember the
Speaker 2: moment we first laid eyes on each other. No memory.
Speaker 1: All right, well he's burned in my memory. You had
Speaker 1: a glow behind you, almost like a y. It was angelic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sign from the beginning teaching.
Speaker 3: Yes, sir, what high school did Amy go to?
Speaker 2: This is so funny.
Speaker 1: She went to a high school in uh in Snellville, Georgia.
Speaker 2: M Brentwood very close.
Speaker 1: Wood is at the end.
Speaker 2: Yes, And.
Speaker 1: What I say, Brentwood, you said Brentwood. There's gotta be
Speaker 1: a brent A Brock.
Speaker 2: Uh M, fuck, let's just Brookwood High School, Brookwood, Brookwood, Brentwood.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if I just said to the immigration officer,
Speaker 1: she went to Ringo High School, and that would have
Speaker 1: been I would have heard it.
Speaker 2: But you did get Snellville, Georgia. Right, it's hard to
Speaker 2: forget because as it's.
Speaker 1: Your folks are still there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's well, they're not still in Snowville anymore.
Speaker 1: What's the town they're in? Okay't give it away. I
Speaker 1: would have just given it away if they were still
Speaker 1: in Snowville.
Speaker 2: But yes, sorry, oh my goodness, wait now I'm forgetting
Speaker 2: the town they just now it's completely escaped me. Kim
Speaker 2: Basinger used to own it, used to own what the
Speaker 2: town that my parents live in? Brazilton, Brazzleton, Georgia.
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna give it away.
Speaker 2: It's a fun fact.
Speaker 1: Would you want to include the address?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: A stop? Is it twenty? Is it really?
Speaker 3: No? It's okay, all right, we only have four questions left. Amy,
Speaker 3: what was the last gift you got from teaching?
Speaker 2: Oh that's so easy, I am wearing I'm actually i
Speaker 2: have both of them with me right now. I have
Speaker 2: the purse he gave me and a pair of you
Speaker 2: gave me. Are these black diamonds in white gold?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, hoops. So I actually have them on right now
Speaker 2: and I can prove it to you, Officer. Here they are.
Speaker 3: I love evidence.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Wow, check that one off.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, TJ. How did your family react
Speaker 3: when you told them about your relationship?
Speaker 1: I didn't get a chance to Okay, there it is. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is a legit question that somebody be asked. But yes,
Speaker 1: that was that's crazy. We didn't get a chance to
Speaker 1: do what we wanted to do. We were building up
Speaker 1: to that moment of announcing all this stuff and it
Speaker 1: was taken from us. So that sucks. I hated it
Speaker 1: for our families, our parents especially, But yeah, we didn't
Speaker 1: we didn't get that moment. Well, we got moments to
Speaker 1: mister officer. See, she did meet she's met my parents
Speaker 1: on a couple of occasions, sat and had a great
Speaker 1: old Italian dinner with my folks on a lovely night
Speaker 1: here in New York. And we are going, oh my god,
Speaker 1: she's making the first trip home to make this coming
Speaker 1: up the first time she's ever been to my hometown
Speaker 1: and this is happening in a matter of weeks.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, very exciting. I've never been to Memphis, so
Speaker 2: super excited. I'm hoping he takes me to Graceland.
Speaker 1: Mister officer, would you like to see our flight itinerary?
Speaker 1: It's books.
Speaker 3: I will ask for that binder that comes in the
Speaker 3: document review portion.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Amy, So the last one for you?
Speaker 2: Maybe? All right?
Speaker 3: What is the most important thing you both value in
Speaker 3: this relationship?
Speaker 2: The most important thing we both value? I think that
Speaker 2: the most important thing in any relationship is trust. I'm
Speaker 2: not talking about like trust that we are going to
Speaker 2: stay true to each other, but trust that we're both
Speaker 2: in it for keeps in it for each other's best interests.
Speaker 2: Trusting that even when we have tough times or bad times,
Speaker 2: that the goal is the same, that we love each
Speaker 2: other and we want to spend our lives with each other.
Speaker 2: So I think that's the most important aspect shared value
Speaker 2: that we have. Would you agree or disagree? Hey, this
Speaker 2: was your question, Well, I was supposed to be.
Speaker 3: I had an answer from you.
Speaker 1: I had different interview questions smissed the officer.
Speaker 3: I thought this was Now I'm just a nosy interview the.
Speaker 1: My mom. That's a matter of well, what was again
Speaker 1: the most important.
Speaker 3: The most important thing you both value in your relationship.
Speaker 1: I would go with friendship, but it was that was
Speaker 1: always the foundation. As long as that's there, I think
Speaker 1: we're going to be okay. But a lot we hear
Speaker 1: it all the time. People will get married and I say, no,
Speaker 1: she's my best friend and all list. You don't hear
Speaker 1: as often that someone actually marries their best friend, like
Speaker 1: we were best friends first and then the relationship happens.
Speaker 1: So to have that foundation, it's critical. I said before
Speaker 1: I've said here, we talked about it. Hey, before we
Speaker 1: even start our relationship, and say hey, if this is
Speaker 1: going to sacrifice or hurt our friendship, I cannot lose
Speaker 1: you as a friend. I would sacrifice a relationship with you,
Speaker 1: but I have to keep a friendship with you. So that,
Speaker 1: mister officer sers is what I would say.
Speaker 2: All right, and Tej, yeah, because you still have your
Speaker 2: last question, questions taking liberties now with this, I just.
Speaker 3: Don't want to ask it, you know, TJ, what is
Speaker 3: your favorite thing about living together?
Speaker 1: Favorite that it's tough because there's a lot. If I
Speaker 1: start saying it out loud, maybe I'll go, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, that's it. I love the routine of it.
Speaker 1: I love the not having to make I don't like.
Speaker 1: I love not having to say, well, where we're going
Speaker 1: to be here or there, or where are you're going
Speaker 1: to be? We know we're going to be together. I
Speaker 1: love that. I love the evenings of cooking together. I
Speaker 1: love being being in the house and in the mix
Speaker 1: and in one home with us. I love all of that.
Speaker 1: So the favorite thing about it, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think it's the certainty of just how it feels. We
Speaker 1: had so much back and forth and we finally got
Speaker 1: to settle down and to calm down and to be together,
Speaker 1: and I think, yeah, there's some piece that comes with
Speaker 1: that certainty. And I know it's not just one thing,
Speaker 1: but it's it's that is the thing. I guess that's
Speaker 1: that's the most comforting I guess about where we are now.
Speaker 3: Okay, And as you know a K one visa it
Speaker 3: says that the purpose is to get married within the
Speaker 3: ninety days. This question goes for both of you.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 3: Have you talked about marriage and what kind of wedding you'd.
Speaker 1: Like, yes and yes, and thank you mister officer for
Speaker 1: your time today. It's really you've been great through this process, sir,
Speaker 1: and we look forward to the results. Do we get
Speaker 1: them now or should we wait to find out later?
Speaker 3: Let's see. Yep, you pass.
Speaker 1: So the clock is ticking. We got ninety days to
Speaker 1: get this done. Oh yeah, to answer that, that's fair.
Speaker 1: Of course. We talk about our we talk all the time. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I don't know if people will know ahead of time.
Speaker 1: There's not going to be some magazine spread with all
Speaker 1: of our pictures and inviting people to some wedding of
Speaker 1: our Yeah, just pop up one day and we're married
Speaker 1: and say, yeah, we just had our four year anniversary.
Speaker 1: Everybody going with, what the hell? Yeah, that's gonna be us.
Speaker 2: That's probably how we're gonna roll, just because I think, yeah,
Speaker 2: when you get to this point in your life, and
Speaker 2: I love a wedding, I love going to weddings, but
Speaker 2: for us, it's not about the wedding. It's about the marriage.
Speaker 2: So it's just a different, a completely different focus after
Speaker 2: having already truly been there, done that, gotcha all right?
Speaker 1: Well, folks, really, I'm curious to know if people if well,
Speaker 1: agin I'm majority female listeners here. Thanks, Yeah, okay. I
Speaker 1: wonder if going through it in their minds, if they
Speaker 1: could answer and think their significant other could answer most
Speaker 1: of these questions.
Speaker 2: I think, hopefully the answer is probably yes. They're not
Speaker 2: tricky questions necessarily, but they are thought provoking questions, and
Speaker 2: I think it's always fun to have a reason to
Speaker 2: dive a little deeper with your partner to see how
Speaker 2: well you know them. So we thought this would be
Speaker 2: fun and we hope you all enjoyed it, and we'll
Speaker 2: take it back to your favorite person who you're considering
Speaker 2: marrying perhaps or are already married too, but we appreciate
Speaker 2: you listening to us. Thank you. We hope you enjoyed
Speaker 2: this episode of Amy and TJ. You know where to
Speaker 2: find us on Instagram, and of course we're always there.
Speaker 2: A being Monday Friday six thirty am for the morning run.
Speaker 2: Check it out. I