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Speaker 1: Okay, Hey, Scotty, ooh, Kurtie B. I am ready to laugh.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful here it is mystery of nine foot hot dog

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Speaker 2: on edge of Alaska wilderness leaves trekkers perplexed.

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Speaker 1: All right, I don't even have a pun for that.

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Speaker 1: That is the strangest story we maybe ever did. But

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a live episode from Goodnight's Comedy and Rally.

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Speaker 3: It's your world.

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Speaker 4: Would you believe.

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Speaker 2: It's for your mind?

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Speaker 1: Cillion pieces?

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Speaker 4: Would you.

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Speaker 2: Live from Raleigh? That Charlie from just almost landed on someone?

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Speaker 4: Yes, but she has the T shirt so it's okay.

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Speaker 4: The long sleeve those are rare warm.

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Speaker 2: It's warm in here. Can we turn the air conditioning on?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Eight, Scotty, how you doing? You good? Best day of

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Speaker 1: my life? How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm fantastic. Has anybody coming to see me? Do stand

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Speaker 2: up later tonight?

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Speaker 1: I am thank you. I'll be here. Wonderful.

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Speaker 2: Last night's crowd, you guys were great. Whoever just hooted

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Speaker 2: you guys were great, the rest of them.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. We're gonna build off of. We're gonna build

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Speaker 1: off that created a baseline.

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Speaker 2: This makes up for it. Raleigh, you guys.

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Speaker 1: This energy is beautiful.

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Speaker 4: This is good. That's a good shirt.

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Speaker 1: That's a really good Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: It says burn nas Bernanas and it's to Curdie B.

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Speaker 1: That's great.

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Speaker 2: So that's that's unlicensed. We're gonna sue you. You or

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Speaker 2: get suit. They are atitious network. Please don't make merch.

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Speaker 4: Please go make as much as you want.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all right, you ready for this, Scotty.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, say it again.

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Speaker 1: I can't hot dog outside of Alaska. Here it is.

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Speaker 2: I'm already sweating him a three piece suit. Mystery of

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Speaker 2: nine foot hot dog okay, on edge of Alaska wilderness. Yes,

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Speaker 2: leaves truckers perplexed.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, it did, Okay.

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Speaker 2: This was this is This was on Alaska News, Alaska News.

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Speaker 2: I want to have I want to shout out Alaska

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Speaker 2: News if you, if you run Alaska News, Yes, it's

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Speaker 2: impossible to read the news on your website. I just

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Speaker 2: want you to know what I In order to read this,

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Speaker 2: I needed to because every time you like click on it,

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Speaker 2: it would like put your email, put your email in

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Speaker 2: to read this.

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Speaker 1: Put your email in.

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Speaker 2: Then it'd be like now something else, but it would

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Speaker 2: give you like seven seconds to look at it and

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Speaker 2: get excited about it, and then it would put up

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Speaker 2: a pop up to keep you from seeing the rest

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Speaker 2: of it. Yes, so what I had to do was

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Speaker 2: continually go back in and then they select all and

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Speaker 2: copy it really fast and then put pasted into something else.

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Speaker 1: Just so I could read it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, fun to get your news.

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Speaker 1: Straight up.

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Speaker 2: I love Alaska news.

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Speaker 4: We love it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not paying five ninety nine a month.

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Speaker 1: Rather die rest ain't happening, not on my watch, no sir.

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Speaker 2: This is written by Craig Madrid.

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Speaker 1: Who he is.

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Speaker 2: That's right, nice work, right guy.

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Speaker 1: If he ever listens, just you know, he's just up there,

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Speaker 1: just type him mel hot dogs if he knew you

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Speaker 1: cheered for him, and call him the best in the biz.

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Speaker 2: Somebody tell Craig. Somebody tell Craig, Craig on the blower.

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Speaker 2: Don't tell any of the other ones. We've done that for.

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Speaker 1: Just here it is.

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Speaker 2: This was published actually in twenty fourteen, and updated in

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Speaker 2: twenty sixteen with some new information.

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Speaker 4: All right on tight topical.

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Speaker 2: Two years later they said we got to update that

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Speaker 2: nine foot hot dog article. That's iris that's why you

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Speaker 2: pay five ninety nine a month for Alaska News. All

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Speaker 2: right and go, they're doing the work, hard hitting journalism.

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Speaker 4: Here it is way up there.

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Speaker 2: This is the one of the craziest stories of the

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Speaker 2: giant foam hot dog in a bunk that Luke Mel

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Speaker 2: and friends stumbled across this spring on the edge of

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Speaker 2: Alaska Nowhere left him haunted. All right, all right, Craig,

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Speaker 2: you're you're drawing us in, Craig has he has set

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Speaker 2: a trap for us. We're into this article here. Here

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Speaker 2: His group was on the vast, undeveloped and little visited

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Speaker 2: Sissitna River tidal flats, returning from an epic crossing of

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Speaker 2: three illusion range volcanoes.

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Speaker 4: Holy shit, Okay, okay, sounds cool.

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Speaker 2: Mounts, Liamna Redoubt and Spur. Okay, those are the when. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know why Leonna is not capitalized, but whatever.

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Speaker 2: And when this hot dog like mirage appeared on the horizon.

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Speaker 2: From a distance, Mel said, no one could quite believe

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Speaker 2: their eyes, but as they drew closer, it became obviously Yes, indeed,

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Speaker 2: there was a nine foot long hot dog on a

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Speaker 2: seven foot long bun beached like a dead whale on

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Speaker 2: the shore of cook Inlet.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: Also, when you're when you've been hiking for days and

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Speaker 2: days and days on end.

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Speaker 1: You do crave a hot dog.

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Speaker 2: So to see a nightfall one would be very exciting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Being an environmentally minded group of hikers, this is a

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Speaker 2: wild sentence. Yeah, being an environmentally minded group of hikers.

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Speaker 2: Mel and friends decided they should get rid of the litter,

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Speaker 2: so they tried to burn it up.

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Speaker 1: Smart, that's smart.

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Speaker 2: Alaska thinks different. Yeah, Alaska's like, we gotta get rid

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Speaker 2: of it. Let's put it in the air. It's made

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Speaker 2: of foam, let's put it in.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna burn.

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Speaker 2: This was a mistake, yep, shocking quote. It produced such

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Speaker 2: a massive plume of black smoke, and there was so

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Speaker 2: much air traffic that I was nervous a plane would

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Speaker 2: think we were signaling for help. He later reported, we

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Speaker 2: didn't want to draw any attention, especially because we would

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Speaker 2: be crossing cook Inlet soon, and thought the coastguard might

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Speaker 2: not be psyched about our vessels. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: he's crossing cook Inlet in? Yeah, what is he crossing?

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Speaker 4: In the hot dog? Baby?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So we turned it over to put out the fire,

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Speaker 2: and now there's a huge hot dog on the flats.

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Speaker 2: Flame broiled to perfection. Amazing search for hot dog origins.

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Speaker 2: Upon returning safely to civilization, Mel couldn't put the mystery

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Speaker 2: of the traveling hot Dog out of his head, so

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Speaker 2: he began a search for its origins. As word of

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Speaker 2: his discovery rippled through a community of Internet savvy Alaska

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Speaker 2: trekkers and fans of outdoor adventure, other reports of the

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Speaker 2: hot dog started to trickle. In Evergreen Helicopter's pilot Ryan

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Speaker 2: Sekorkski reportedly spotted reported spotting in along the east bank

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Speaker 2: of the Mattanouska River near the community of Butt Scoop.

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Speaker 1: I mean every sects.

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Speaker 4: They're going to butt take that vessel to butt.

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Speaker 2: The hot dog was in Butt the butt scook. Skureki

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Speaker 2: was eventually able to uncover two thousand and elevel eleven

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Speaker 2: A level fine.

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Speaker 1: It's fine.

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Speaker 2: Skorkorski was eventually able to uncover a twenty eleven Google

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Speaker 2: Earth satellite image.

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Speaker 1: With the hot dog.

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Speaker 2: Plainly visible about fifteen miles from where Mel stumbled on.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, West appointmckenzie three years later. So it's migrating. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the hot dog. It clearly slipped unnoticed down the river

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Speaker 2: under the busy Glen Highway Bridge between Wasali and Alaska's

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Speaker 2: largest city, along the nick Arm Pass Tankridge itself, and

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Speaker 2: finally headed west in the inlet corks because he's sighting helped. Now,

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Speaker 2: there's so many seasons, it's all season.

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Speaker 1: K's are and rest.

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Speaker 2: Sighting helped. Corky's sighting helped narrow the origins of the

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Speaker 2: dog to the Palmer Wascilla area and some Madinooska sestina

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Speaker 2: burrowed residents. Jesus, how people live in this state.

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Speaker 4: It's not that many. There's not so many people.

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Speaker 2: There seem to recall. There was once a giant hot

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Speaker 2: dog along with the giant ice cream cones outside Little

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Speaker 2: Miller's ice Cream and Wassilla. All right, hot dog looks familiar.

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Speaker 5: That's just the title of this paragraph.

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Speaker 2: It's just hot dog looks familiar.

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Speaker 4: I've seen one before. They all look the same.

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Speaker 1: Very rare. You see a hot dog that you can't

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Speaker 1: identify immediately.

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Speaker 2: Further digging revealed very to counts as to how that

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Speaker 2: hot dog might have been stolen as a high school's prank,

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Speaker 2: But there was story ended until this week when two

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Speaker 2: thousand and five colony. This is the update, guys, when

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Speaker 2: two thousand and five, seventy years high school graduate, Alan

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Speaker 2: Spangler reluctantly confessed knowledge of the hot dogs migration from

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Speaker 2: Miller's to Cooks in Less. Oh God, he said, maybe

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Speaker 2: I know where it came from. The Spangler first learned

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Speaker 2: of the hot dog on the beach about eight miles

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Speaker 2: west appointmckenzie when he stumbled upon Mel's outdoor adventure blog.

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Speaker 2: A former track athlete turned mountain runner, Spangler has some

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Speaker 2: interests in common with Mel. Spangler took a looked at

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Speaker 2: the photo on Mel's blog, he said, and thought that

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Speaker 2: the hot dog looks awfully familiar.

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Speaker 1: What is going on Alaska?

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Speaker 2: Spangler tips Mel that he knew about its origins. Whord

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Speaker 2: that got around? Next thing Spangler knew he was talking

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Speaker 2: to a reporter by telephone. Is this man describing him

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Speaker 2: doing this thing?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: He's talking to a reporter by telephone from where he

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Speaker 2: now works at a remote radar our site in Tin City,

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Speaker 2: a rare our site. Okay, side of Tin City, outside

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Speaker 2: of name on the Seaward Peninsula in northwest Alaska. That's

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Speaker 2: just how you identify places tin City outside of nome

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Speaker 2: of the Seaward peninsula in northwest Alaska.

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Speaker 4: Very hard.

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Speaker 2: It was the hot dog off Miller's ice cream, Spangler admitted,

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Speaker 2: under intense questioning.

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Speaker 1: Oh, intense, intense, It was intense.

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Speaker 2: Spangler's memory is that Miller's store was for a time

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Speaker 2: out of business, and some high school students thought.

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Speaker 1: They'd liberate the hot dog.

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Speaker 2: He claimed not to remember who was involved, but he

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Speaker 2: did remember the group took the dog on a joy

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Speaker 2: ride that ended with them tying it up with some

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Speaker 2: rope under Now.

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Speaker 4: Old, that's fun. Why is this conmbariss?

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Speaker 2: That's amazing, that's amazing they tie it up? Did they

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Speaker 2: think it was going to run away? Did they like

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Speaker 2: tie little arms behind his back? The year was Give

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Speaker 2: me a guess as to when the year was, What

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Speaker 2: do you mean two thousand and four? Oh? How long

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Speaker 2: the hot dog hung beneath the bridge is unclear? And

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Speaker 2: never went back to look at it, Spanglish said. I

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Speaker 2: wonder if anyone took a picture of it while it

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Speaker 2: was hanging under the bridge. Whether someone cut the dog

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Speaker 2: loose so the ropes eventually deteriorated and broke his unknown,

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Speaker 2: but the photo provided by Skakorkski makes it clear the

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Speaker 2: dog ended up in the river started downstream on a

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Speaker 2: journey of its own. Where it will end up is

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Speaker 2: anyone's guests, But so far it has been working its

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Speaker 2: way west and south. Let him go, maybe hoping for

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Speaker 2: warmer buns.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Craig, Craig brought us back.

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Speaker 4: He brought us back.

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Speaker 2: Good job, Craig, Good job, crag.

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Speaker 1: I lit a field on fire once, but uh, I

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Speaker 1: got away with it when I was a little kid.

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Speaker 1: I think every boy goes through a phase where they

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Speaker 1: just love matches and lighters. Y, yeah, so much. Are

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Speaker 1: there any men here?

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Speaker 4: I can't even tell. Okay, there's a view you never know.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I used to like throw matches and start

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Speaker 1: fires and see what would burn, like nail polish remover,

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Speaker 1: very flat, having elder sister, very useful.

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Speaker 2: Oh as nice as rubber cement could be huffed and

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Speaker 2: then burned, which was twice as fun.

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Speaker 1: Twice as fun. But I don't even have a long

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Speaker 1: story about it. This guy that I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: well from my school and his friend came over and

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Speaker 1: we were playing with matches and stuff on a snowy

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Speaker 1: cold day, and we lit a field on fire. We

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Speaker 1: tried to stamp it out and then the whole field

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Speaker 1: went up, and being ten eleven, we just ran away. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you know, no cell phones, so we didn't talk

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Speaker 1: to each other. And then on the news, my dad

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Speaker 1: used to watch the sports when we were having dinner,

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Speaker 1: like on local news he would my dad would literally

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Speaker 1: ill sports. He would go sports, and then we would

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Speaker 1: all shut up and eat. And then but they were

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Speaker 1: like a fire breaks out in Carroll County and blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah, and well it didn't burn any houses down,

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Speaker 1: but they had to put out the field and it

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Speaker 1: was three ten year olds. Oh my god, I think

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Speaker 1: the statute of limitations is up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody died. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we lit a field on fire. And then we're like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know you guys that well by and then

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Speaker 1: just ran ran away.

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Speaker 2: I love that I was in I was in Alaska

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Speaker 2: only once. I was in Alaska, and I'm doing shows

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Speaker 2: in Fairbanks, Okay. And Fairbanks is like in the middle

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Speaker 2: and it's very I mean everything is in the middle

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Speaker 2: of nowhere and Alaska, but Fairbanks is especially in the

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Speaker 2: middle of nowhere Okay. And so I was by myself

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Speaker 2: just doing stand up and so it gets on the road,

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Speaker 2: gets lonely. You're just like, what am I gonna do?

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Speaker 2: I've got all day and I work it at night. Right,

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Speaker 2: So I was like everyone kept talking about there's these

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Speaker 2: hot springs cool in the middle of the woods, and

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Speaker 2: they're like a two and a half hour drive outside

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Speaker 2: of Fairbanks. And so you start like twenty minutes outside

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Speaker 2: of Fairbanks, like you lose phone service, and then you're

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Speaker 2: just driving on one road. It's just one road, it's

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Speaker 2: the only road, and just driving.

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Speaker 1: For two hours straight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I finally get there and it's like, you know, amazing.

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Speaker 2: You're passing by all these like dwarf forests because there's

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Speaker 2: perma frost, so the trees can't go deep enough down.

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Speaker 2: All the trees are just three and a half feet tall, adorable.

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Speaker 1: Horrible, and you walk around like I'm so, where's my babe?

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Speaker 2: And so we go out and I get to this

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Speaker 2: hot spring cool and uh and like I get in

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Speaker 2: and then I realize that it's like everyone else who's

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Speaker 2: there is there with like a romantic partner.

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Speaker 1: Or a friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been there, And then it's just me, mister

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Speaker 2: yuck young man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, just.

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Speaker 2: Man taking a bath with them by myself.

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Speaker 1: Just like you know, and it's like you just got

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Speaker 1: to like where to look. You know.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's not that big, so you're just like,

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Speaker 2: I guess, look at this rock because everybody's like looking

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Speaker 2: at each other, so you can't just sit there staring

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Speaker 2: at them. So I'm just like, oh, what was the

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Speaker 2: tempo outside?

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Speaker 4: The temperature outside?

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Speaker 2: The temperature outside is probably like twenty five twenty.

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Speaker 1: So you had to take of lots of layers to

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Speaker 1: get in that hotel.

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Speaker 2: There was like a little outhouse so you could get joh, okay,

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Speaker 2: that makes it changed, and then you like walk out.

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Speaker 2: It's pretty developed, pretty developed, gotcha. So I walk in

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Speaker 2: and then I'm just like sitting there. I've driven two

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Speaker 2: and a half hours. It's another two and a half

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Speaker 2: hours back, and this is a five hours and I

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Speaker 2: was just like, I don't want to be here.

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Speaker 1: I don't like this is just awkward.

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Speaker 2: And so I get out and then I get out

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like, fuck, man, it's just like a

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Speaker 2: drove for so long.

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Speaker 1: I get you gotta get a photo of the fact

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Speaker 1: that I came here for sure.

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Speaker 2: So then I go and get my phone and I

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Speaker 2: like kind of like sneak in, and I'm already embarrassed

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Speaker 2: to take selfies in public anyway, you know, not me

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Speaker 2: like back then, I was more. Now I'm just like, well,

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Speaker 2: we're all, we're all, we're.

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Speaker 4: All this now this is us.

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Speaker 1: And so I was just like kind of like, you know,

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Speaker 1: just like.

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Speaker 2: Local, even creepier bringing the phone in where everyone's like

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Speaker 2: scantily clad in the hot water.

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Speaker 1: And so then I'm just like.

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Speaker 2: All right, got him, and I'm just like getting out.

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Speaker 2: And then I just hear behind me, hey, and I'm

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Speaker 2: like I'm talking to me, oh boy, because I don't

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Speaker 2: know anybody here flying Stalo just keep getting out and

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Speaker 2: then just goes hey, phone guy, and I was just like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, And I turn around and it is this

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Speaker 2: old man who is He looks like Michael Shannon, you know,

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Speaker 2: Michael Shannon. Scary looking god, Michael Shannon. He was in

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Speaker 2: the Shape of Water. He was the bad guy in

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Speaker 2: Shape Water, that guy. But he looks like Michael Shannon.

330
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Speaker 2: But then he's got this chin that's like crazy, it's

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Speaker 2: like another Michael Shannon's head on the end of his

332
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Speaker 2: that's crazy, just double Shannon's double Shannon. And he goes, hey,

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Speaker 2: take a picture of us and text it to me,

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Speaker 2: and he please. He wasn't nice about it.

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Speaker 1: He was just such a bully about it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yes, of course, sir, and I was

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00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,359
Speaker 2: like and then I'm like, as I'm doing it, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want this guy to have my phone number.

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00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 2: I don't know what the fuck is happening right now.

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00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 1: That's a great point. Actually, what a great way to

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00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 1: get somebody's number. Hey, take a picture, a tall eye

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Speaker 1: picture and text it to me.

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Speaker 2: What alludedic thing this it is?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And then you're in the middle of the woods.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't say no.

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00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 2: And then he just goes he's with his buddy, and

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Speaker 2: then he just points to a third man and goes,

349
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 2: you get in here, and we're all just like what

350
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 2: is happening?

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00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: And he's like, you look like a friend of ours.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, what, okay.

353
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 2: So now it's me a stranger taking a picture of

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Speaker 2: three people who are all strangers to each other. I

355
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,680
Speaker 2: take one picture and then he goes profile and then

356
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Speaker 2: they all turn profile and the third man is just like,

357
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 2: why is this happening to me?

358
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:03,159
Speaker 4: Yes?

359
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: And then it takes it and then he like, and

360
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 2: then he's like, here's my phone number, and he gives

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00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 2: me his phone number and I put it in, but

362
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 2: we don't have service, so it doesn't go out. And

363
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, the phone that'll go out when I get service,

364
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 2: and he's like all right.

365
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 1: So I was like, run back to my car and

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Speaker 1: get the fuck out of there.

367
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 2: And then I drive back two and a half hours,

368
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 2: says I'm pulling into Fairbanks. I get service and I

369
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 2: look down to see that the phone number doesn't exist.

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00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 4: Oh.

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00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:35,840
Speaker 2: Interesting, So my question is pull the audience. Is this man,

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00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: the most amazing prankster on planet.

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Speaker 4: Earth, goes to the end of the world, make.

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00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,920
Speaker 2: A stranger, take a picture of you and a stranger. Yeah,

375
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 2: that's great, and then just send it nowhere.

376
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 4: That's crazy. That is the strangest prank.

377
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 1: It's the strangest prank.

378
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,400
Speaker 2: So I just posted it to Instagram.

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00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:03,679
Speaker 1: Is he a ghost who haunts the hot Springs looking

380
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,199
Speaker 1: for likes? That's so funny? And did you have to

381
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 1: do stand up that night? Was that night? Yeah? Still

382
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 1: better than last night?

383
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 4: Show?

384
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 1: Wait?

385
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,719
Speaker 2: How many people were here at last night?

386
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: True?

387
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 4: Bananda?

388
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 2: Why are you guys bummed out about that? You don't

389
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,399
Speaker 2: know how bad they suck.

390
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that. You're just representing the city. You're like,

391
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 1: not Raleigh.

392
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 4: That's a Durham crowd.

393
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: During during the show that dump.

394
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 2: During the show, a woman just said out loud, what

395
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 2: the fuck is he talking about? That?

396
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 4: That's good, she's nice.

397
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about. She'll be in church in

398
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,880
Speaker 2: theoretical physics. Up here, I'm making a couple of tea.

399
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 2: He's okay, it's not rocket science.

400
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: It was that guy from Alaska throwing his What is

401
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 1: he talking about?

402
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 4: He haunt you?

403
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 1: Uh. This was sent in by many ban animals, but

404
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: Detroit's MP who has sen in or maybe Detroit simp maybe?

405
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 4: And Evie just Evie.

406
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: Also our full human intern, Lisa Maggott posted this yesterday

407
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,720
Speaker 1: on our Now. She's our part time employee, Lisa Maggott.

408
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: We can afford to pay her in Lasagna.

409
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 2: It is too much for a person.

410
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, too much for one woman.

411
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 1: Useless for one person. Really? Oh, woman stuck in outthouse

412
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 1: trying to get apple watch police remind public not to

413
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: climb into toilets. This was an NBC News written by

414
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: that swing and NBC News staff.

415
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 4: Who are they?

416
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: It's always good when they bail on writing the story. Yeah,

417
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: they are like, God, don't put my name on this story.

418
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 1: Oh boy, well this is it is upside down.

419
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 4: Okay, here we go.

420
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: Conservation officers from the Michigan Department of Natural Resources, troopers

421
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: and state police of the Gaylord Post.

422
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 4: Cool is that a place?

423
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: Gaylord Post Michigan and emergency medical personnel in Ostigo County

424
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 1: responded to an incident. Police said, oh, it happened at

425
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: eleven am outside of an outhouse bathroom at Dixon Lake.

426
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 1: A woman in Michigan was rescued Tuesday after getting stuck

427
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: in an outhouse while trying to retrieve an apple watch

428
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: that fell off, which forced police to reach out to

429
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: the public and say, do not climb inside of public toilets.

430
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 2: What what action are you doing while tinkling in a

431
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 2: toilet that cause is your apple watch to fall off?

432
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 2: Where is your hand? Yeah, what's happening because at the

433
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 2: time of tinkling.

434
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: At the tot the tot, when it's top time, you're

435
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: a tad bit busy to wiggle around.

436
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: Look, I mean, look, I don't know. I'm assuming she's

437
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: hovering right.

438
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: No.

439
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 2: This woman also climbed inside a toilet, so maybe she

440
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: was like butt deep in it legs up, that's how

441
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 2: she peas, you know, sheld in half like a briefcase.

442
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: Some women do. That's why they go together. Somebody's got

443
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: to hold those ankles. The toilet was removed, a strap

444
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 1: was used to hoist the woman to safety. I mean

445
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: she went all the way in.

446
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 2: But again that's a nightmare.

447
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: And the photo of you saw our instagram, it's on

448
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: our instagram.

449
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,640
Speaker 4: Uh, it's a true outhouse.

450
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: This is yeah, this pit, a pit toilet, a campground toilet,

451
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 2: sit deep. If you've ever looked into one of those,

452
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 2: like National park toilets, it's deep and it's upsetting. It's

453
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: like the bottom of it is like fourth of July

454
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: Cony Island toilet, you know.

455
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: And you're twenty feet down. Also, I would kill myself

456
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 1: and not saying it's dark if I ended up in

457
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: one of those. I'm like, it's been so fun, but

458
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: I am not supposed to be alive. Also, yeah, how

459
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: does your watch fall off? I don't know? But she like,

460
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 1: here's the toilet and just who I don't know, just

461
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 1: carving pumpkins all slippery.

462
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 4: The woman was hurt, yelling for help.

463
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 1: I bet she was, I'm told first responders she had

464
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: dropped her Apple Watch and the toilet times are tough.

465
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: Apple watches are expensive, but there is a price limit

466
00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 1: on these kinds of things. Oh god, and it is

467
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 1: not an Apple watch. If they're like, you want to

468
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: free Apple watch climb in this public toilet, I'm like,

469
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm a Samsung dog.

470
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 2: Once the Apple Watch goes into the toilet, like, you're

471
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: just like, I'm definitely putting that back on my wrist.

472
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 2: Are you like, I understand you could bleach it or whatever,

473
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 2: but I don't know can you bleach it?

474
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 4: And did the watch?

475
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: Know?

476
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,360
Speaker 4: Was the watch upset?

477
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you hate me? She then lowered herself inside

478
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 1: the toilet to retrieve it and could not get out.

479
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: So that's how it happened. Totally normal. The agency added

480
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 1: the venturing inside an out house toilet it's usually not

481
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 1: a good idea, and warned against it. If you lose

482
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: an item in an outthouse toilet, do not attempt to

483
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: venture inside the containment area. A serious injury may occur.

484
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: The woman was left without any injuries. Is that here nice?

485
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: You know what the thing is is with the with

486
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 2: articles like this. I just want to this a teeny

487
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 2: bit of interview because I want to know. Was it

488
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 2: was she going in headfirst to try and reach it?

489
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 2: I think so, and slipped, and then because that's very

490
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 2: upsetting or very upsetting, was she which is even weirder?

491
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 2: Was she like I'm gonna step fi feet first into

492
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 2: the toilet and then be like, you know, maybe thinking

493
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: she could stand on the sides or something.

494
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wish I knew, I wish I had. It.

495
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: Also doesn't say no wonder it's the staff because it

496
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: doesn't say.

497
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 4: If she got the watch?

498
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, because couldn't she have called for help using her

499
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: watch if she was in there. I think she didn't

500
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 1: even get the watch, probably didn't have service.

501
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 4: Boy, oh boy, it would be.

502
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: Funny if, like when she fell, she pushed it so

503
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 2: deep that she couldn't get it back. I'm sorry, I

504
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: didn't make this up.

505
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 4: She did this.

506
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 1: This is real. Okay, Okay, I need a Kurt, you're

507
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 1: really goodness.

508
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 4: I need a man's name, any man.

509
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 2: Okay, Tell you ride, Tell you ride, all right? So

510
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 2: and I bet you you'll see a baby name. Tell

511
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 2: you ride very soon. If not all right, maybe names

512
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: are getting fucking wild.

513
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're going wild. They're getting wild. So I meet

514
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 1: this writer in La. This is about is about seven

515
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: years ago, and you had just moved there from NYU.

516
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: Nice guy, and he was like, can I ask you

517
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 1: some advice? I was like, sure, you do this all

518
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: the time. So we meet for beers and he goes,

519
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: can I pitch you some ideas for like TV show ideas,

520
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: maybe I'll write a pilot. And I was like, yes,

521
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: nice kid, he's probably I don't know, twenty two, twenty

522
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: three years old.

523
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 4: Okay.

524
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 1: Everything he pitches is stuff that you hear a lot,

525
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: which is like it's working at a Senior citizen center

526
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: and you're like, okay, that's a fine idea, you hear

527
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: it all the time, or like it's a moving company

528
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: and every day's a different house. Fine, and I go listen, man,

529
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,159
Speaker 1: that's not We all have these ideas. The way that

530
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: you break in is you have to do something that's

531
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: very personal to you. You have to do an idea

532
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 1: that only you understand. He goes, oh, that's that's cool.

533
00:26:58,960 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 4: That makes sense.

534
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: Great, Go like, what's something what's a weird relationship have

535
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: you ever had? Or like what's what's something weird about

536
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: your family that nobody else knows?

537
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 4: And he just goes white. Yeah, mean he goes so ghostly.

538
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: Wow wow. Oh and he's like, I really I don't

539
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: tell a lot of people about this, but uh he

540
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: so this is one hundred percent true story about Tell

541
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: you ride Telly.

542
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 2: You call him to Telly, friends call him Telly only

543
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 2: as mom calls him.

544
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 4: So Telly goes, I have two brothers.

545
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: I'm the middle and I have an older brother and

546
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: younger brother, and my entire life, anytime we left the house,

547
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: we had to take a shower as soon as we

548
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: got back, and I go, okay, and he goes, so

549
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: as soon as we would step inside the front door,

550
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: we had like an area marked off and you'd have

551
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: to strip fully naked and then walk to a.

552
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 4: Shower and take a shower okay.

553
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: And then his mom would pick up their laundry and

554
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: do their laundry immediately.

555
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 4: Okay.

556
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: Now this counted if the whole family went to a restaurant,

557
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: they would go one at a time, entering the house

558
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: stripped down youngest brother, middle brother, oldest brother, dad, mom,

559
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 1: and then the mom would do all their laundry and

560
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: every single time. I go so like, if you went

561
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: to get the mail, Yes, if they went to get

562
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 1: the mail and they left the house, he had to

563
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: come back inside, strip fully down from what he was

564
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 1: wearing to take a shower, and his mom would wash

565
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 1: us close.

566
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

567
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: So I said, you might already have some thoughts in

568
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: your head been animals. I said, did you ever have

569
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: friends over? And he said no, everybody knew. So we

570
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,239
Speaker 1: would play pick up football, we'd play basketball, and then

571
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: it'd be like bye.

572
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 4: Everybody be like see you.

573
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: Because anybody that came inside the house had to take

574
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: a shower.

575
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: Was there a shower off like the vestibule?

576
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: Nope, okay, I had to walk into the house and

577
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: then do the laundry. Ohs, their electric bill and their

578
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 1: water bill must have been through the roof. And I

579
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: was like, did you stay inside all the time. He's like, no,

580
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: I had a pretty normal childhood.

581
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: At a pretty normal childhood, we had mela is for

582
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: dinner every night, and in the mornings we would be

583
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: whacked with a stick four times.

584
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: In a gentle, supportive, encouraging way. So then I was like, listen,

585
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, you have to write something about this. I'm

586
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: like this, I've never heard anything like this.

587
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: I also, I don't think it's a TV show, though.

588
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: I don't know.

589
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 4: I don't know these days.

590
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: So then I asked a question which I think many

591
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 1: of you might be thinking of. Do any of you

592
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: have girlfriends or any of you married? And he goes, yeah,

593
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: my older brother and my younger brother married. I go,

594
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: when they come over, do they have to strip? They go, oh, yeah, what?

595
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: And I go, I go, so, your girlfriend, when she

596
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: goes to your parents' house, like to meet your parents,

597
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: takes off her clothes and takes a shower, and they

598
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: go yes. So the older brother got married first, he's

599
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: the oldest kid out of college. And I was like,

600
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: and his girlfriend, then fiance, then wife didn't care. And

601
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 1: she goes, no, she was totally fine with it. Okay,

602
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: let's pull the audio, because in my head I was like,

603
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: I would break up so fast with somebody. If they're like,

604
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: when you come to my house, you have to shower,

605
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: and then if you go outside your car to get

606
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: a gift, you have to shower again, I'd be like, no,

607
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 1: not happening.

608
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 2: Imagine how great those guys are. Oh, everything is perfect,

609
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 2: Everything is perfect.

610
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: And then you're like, but here's the deal.

611
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 2: I mean, they must be they must be amazing.

612
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, these guys are doing pretty well. And he was

613
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 4: engaged to Telly was engaged.

614
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: All right, Uh, if you would if you were dating

615
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: somebody you had to shower every time you went in

616
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: their parents' house, would you stay with them? Say?

617
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 4: Yes?

618
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: There was one person enthusiastically like, yeah, you're a good person.

619
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: Actually that sounds a great idea. I'm gonna do that. Yeah, Telly,

620
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: Telly's mom, it's Telly's wife.

621
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 4: And would you break up with that person gently? Yeah,

622
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 4: that's what I said. But anyway, so he married this woman.

623
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: And so what the women do all the partners, Now,

624
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: what they do is they just keep clothes at the house,

625
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: the outfit they want to wear the night that they're

626
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: having Thanksgiving dinner or whatever they're having. So they go

627
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: in wearing this and then they show up strip down,

628
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: Like nobody there, don't stand around and watch them strip. Yeah,

629
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: they stand outside and then they put on the outfit

630
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: they wanted to wear when they get there. Wow.

631
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 2: Wow, Because you know, because like when you first started

632
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 2: telling this, I was like, you know, I do I

633
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 2: do we make the children go right into the bath

634
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 2: when they get home from school. Yeah, because school is disgusting.

635
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: It's essentially being inside an iPhone pit toilet for eight hours,

636
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,719
Speaker 2: and it just keeps them from getting sick often or

637
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: more often. But that or we don't make them do

638
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: it every time.

639
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, they are five and four years old or six

640
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: and four years old. They're not I don't know, thirty

641
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: five years old. Hey mom, I mean visiting your in

642
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 1: laws is already tough, and it's just like you're gonna

643
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: get naked. But there's a thing now. But I did

644
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: tell a friend who's an act director, a pretty big director,

645
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, would you do this? And she

646
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: was like, oh, hell yeah, that wouldn't bother me at all.

647
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, come on.

648
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 2: It wouldn't bother her at all, yeah, because she just

649
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: loves the idea of like that, what a clean house.

650
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, it would bother me though, because it

651
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: would make me feel like I could never leave that

652
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: house until that exact moment. Yeah yeah, or like it's weird.

653
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: It would be like it would make sense if all

654
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 2: of a sudden you came in and then like Thanksgiving

655
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: dinner was then like served on top of the people,

656
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, well, now I get it.

657
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: We all had to shower because we're the plates. I

658
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: get it.

659
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: Like everyone just lays down on the ground and mom

660
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 2: just like Ladle's turkey sauce all over you. And you're like,

661
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: well this makes sense. Now, Well you had to be

662
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: really clean.

663
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: For them to marry this guy. I'm gonna marry him good.

664
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: I might be totally wrong. Did you do a show

665
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: in Berlin where it was naked or you swam naked

666
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: with people? After this?

667
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 2: Swam naked with people in Berlin? I did do a

668
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: show in Berlin.

669
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 4: This is an early stand up.

670
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: This was early stand up. I've only been doing it

671
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: like a year or two.

672
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: But luckily when all of them speak German, they don't

673
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: realize that, and they.

674
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they just thought I was like doing English

675
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: stand up.

676
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: They're like, okay, yeah, pretty cool.

677
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: And we did.

678
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was like a naked like all of their

679
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 2: saunas and uh whatever they are called, are nate fully naked,

680
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 2: and so you have to go like swimming and you're

681
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: just swimming fully naked, and and I bet I had

682
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: a good story about.

683
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: That when I remembered it. But I've forgotten it.

684
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 4: It's okay.

685
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 2: The only one I remember it was familiar?

686
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 4: Did you have for failure? That is okay? Do you

687
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 4: want to tease this into sweet sweet break?

688
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: And also we're gonna need somebody to grab our confessions

689
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: box for us. Here it is. Anybody can make a run.

690
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: Oh this is absolutely wild.

691
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 4: Hit me.

692
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 2: A federal agency wants to give safety two hips to

693
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: young adults, so it's dropping an album.

694
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 4: A cool. Well, we'll be back with that crap with

695
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 4: more bananas.

696
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: And folks.

697
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 4: We are back, yeah, Raleigh. Yeah, this tablets are the real.

698
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 2: MVPs from Raleigh, North Carolina, at good Night's Comedy Club.

699
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: Is there one over there too? Are there's there a

700
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: table over there?

701
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 4: There is? Did you guys lose a sweep steaks? These

702
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 4: are tough seats?

703
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? Or back is to you?

704
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 4: The whole time you seem like great people.

705
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 2: I think you're looking at my underwear the whole time.

706
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 4: That's okay, we're underwear. That's normal.

707
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: I wear underwear.

708
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: All right, let's see, we got the confessions coming. I

709
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: got some shout outs. Okay, is Jade Marie here? Oh

710
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: you're right here? Hi? How are you I'm sorry. Well,

711
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: she wants to shout out her best friend Morgan. All right,

712
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 1: they're both here even either though neither one lives here. Oh,

713
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:35,280
Speaker 1: they're twenty twenty twenty bananimals and best buddies since freshman

714
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: year cheerleading. Nice, that's exciting, Thanks for coming.

715
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 4: Jade really likes you, Morgan.

716
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: Are you coming to Atlanta too? That's okay, you made

717
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 1: the effort.

718
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: Thank you.

719
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: Chris b wants to shout out his wife, Samantha and

720
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: say she is the greatest person he's ever known, that

721
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: he loves her.

722
00:35:55,480 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 4: Boo booed. That better beg Chris bebo.

723
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: That's nice, Samantha, he loves you, unless he was booing

724
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: and then boo him later. Amanda wants to shout out

725
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,280
Speaker 1: her husband and her six friends. Her husband is Matt.

726
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: He's a psychology professor who was just awarded a grant

727
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: for studying behavioral treatment after cardiac episodes, or as Krby

728
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 1: and I would call it, heart stuff.

729
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 4: So great job, Matt.

730
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: Way to do that heart stuff so well, Way to

731
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: get that grant. Applying for a grant seems like the

732
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: most stressful thing in the world. Yeah, it's like begging

733
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: for money. When you're like, just give it to me

734
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: so I can do the work. You're wasting two years.

735
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm talking about. And most important,

736
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,240
Speaker 1: we have two birthday bananas.

737
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:46,479
Speaker 4: Here.

738
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: Morgan Craig is shouting out her friend Dana Jorman Dane.

739
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: Are you here, Dana? Come up? And also I think

740
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: it's Jad wants to shout out his wife, Chelsea Moffatt.

741
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 4: I think it's about to be your birthday, Chelsea, are

742
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 4: you here? Coffee?

743
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: You send in a lot of stories.

744
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: Thank you. We signed these. They say Happy Birthday. If

745
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: you don't like it, you can recycle it, but happy birthday, Birthday.

746
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you too. Hi, look at this,

747
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 1: we signed it for you. I hope that's okay. Happy birthday.

748
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 1: Get them for comment.

749
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got a crazy worm all right. So now

750
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: we have your confessions here. Thank you so much for

751
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,399
Speaker 2: doing them.

752
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you.

753
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 2: But in Fears one in fifth grade nineteen ninety one,

754
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: our entire class was taking a photo for a time capsule.

755
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: I was seated in the front row and came up

756
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 2: with a great idea to put my heads my hands

757
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 2: on my knees with my middle fingers extended with the

758
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 2: copies came out a fee wag. There there I was

759
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 2: displaying the bird for all to see. I was able

760
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 2: to keep the photo from my mom, but those who

761
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 2: opened the.

762
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 1: Time capsule won't know what hit him. Great, that's awesome.

763
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: You're chaos, good absurdity. My fiance and I steal bar

764
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: costers from everywhere we go. I have five in my

765
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: purse right now from the bar tonight. Yes, you are absolved.

766
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: That is fine. They're cheap.

767
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 4: You're fine.

768
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 2: Last year, at field day, I'm a teacher, my older

769
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 2: male coworker asked me to put bug spray on his back.

770
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 2: My foolishness, My foolishness thought he wanted me.

771
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 6: To lift his shirt and spreaded it like sunscreen. I

772
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 6: realize most people don't rub in their bug spray instant

773
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 6: regret what I saw.

774
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 2: His plumbers crack too.

775
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: We haven't mentioned it since. Did I ever tell the

776
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 1: story in the pod where I like around the time

777
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: where I started like making out heavily in high school

778
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: with my girlfriend when it was like like outer course time, Yeah,

779
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: you know, dry humping one oh one was going on.

780
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: It was like, oh, I'm good at this, and you're

781
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: like you're so bad at it, like terrible. But like

782
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: I had an aunt. I was like, hey, Scotty had

783
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: like a family thing of like leaning. And I accidentally

784
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: put my head on my hand on the back of

785
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: her head when she was giving me a kiss on

786
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: the cheek and we both like froze, and I was like, yeah,

787
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: that wasn't right. Just just coming in for a Hey,

788
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: good to see it, Bud.

789
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, you two, this one really looks good. But

790
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: I don't know what these three words are. Loin a

791
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 2: good feed.

792
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: Lotion, a good friend, definitely a friend.

793
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 2: Okay, right, okay, So lately I this is great. Uh

794
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 2: lately I've been thinking of leaving my boyfriend of two

795
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: and a half years. Oh the chance to get to

796
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 2: get lotion, a good friend I know for five years,

797
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,240
Speaker 2: to get loving, to get luyden something fuck them, Probably

798
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: to get lotion.

799
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: If you're thinking about it, god do it. My drunk

800
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: bad behavior is eating all the icing packets from toaster

801
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 1: shoodel boxes. That's a good one. You're absolved. That's that's funny.

802
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:26,359
Speaker 1: I mean, your dentist hates it, but everybody else likes it.

803
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: I put a dead fish in my friend's exes vents.

804
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 1: Now that is falling a great friend. You are a

805
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: great friend. I peede in the hotel at my gym.

806
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: Oh you dirty dog, you dirty dog.

807
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 4: Don't do that.

808
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 1: You're absolved.

809
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 4: You're as absolve you. But you know, take it easy.

810
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: I probably told you to talked about this.

811
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 2: But my brother I was visiting him once and his

812
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 2: child was probably like four or three, and we're all

813
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 2: swim together in a big pool and he said, Papa,

814
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: can I pee in the pool? And He's like, yeah, sure,

815
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: And I was like that's weird, but okay, uh huh.

816
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 2: And then he proceeded. The kid got out of the

817
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 2: pool and.

818
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: Pissed into it whoops. And I was like, this is.

819
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:22,399
Speaker 2: A bold choice, Like I was uncomfortable before. Now I

820
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: respect it.

821
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like vacationing in Mexico. I had to get Yeah,

822
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 4: I don't know either.

823
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: I actually do the opposite when I'm at Mexico, like

824
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,479
Speaker 1: a swim up bar with like one of those ones.

825
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: Every time I have to pee, I loudly when I'm

826
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: getting out of the pool, IM like anybody need anything.

827
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 1: While I'm getting out, I gotta hit the boys room.

828
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: It's like just to let everybody know I'm not drinking margarite.

829
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 1: Isn't peeing all over their legs. I had to get

830
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: so high to be brave enough to be here tonight.

831
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: Come on, the bananamals are nice people. You're very welcome.

832
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: We're so glad you're here.

833
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: You did I once reported my friend for nudity on

834
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,879
Speaker 2: Instagram because I got sick of all her weight loss before.

835
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 1: After whoa, Oh, that's real. That's too real. That's very

836
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 1: very real. That's so good. That is a good confession.

837
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: That is sometimes I forget to pay for the stacks

838
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 2: and my toddler eats while grocery shopping.

839
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 1: Everybody does that.

840
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 2: If a child eats it, that's the price of shopping.

841
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: Mom.

842
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,760
Speaker 4: It starts with mom. That's a good start.

843
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: Mom. I'm the one that stole your credit card and

844
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 1: ordered porn a porn video. Hold on, this has a

845
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: this has a curveball coming okay, and ordered a porn

846
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: video which was delivered on September eleventh, two thousand.

847
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 4: Why it was not chet, It was not chet.

848
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: Oh, so you are absolved. That is so fun You

849
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: didn't know what was about to happen. That is so funny.

850
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: And that's just self care. We absolve you for that

851
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: for sure. How about two more? Yeah, two more?

852
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 2: I was in I went to jail in Cambodia and

853
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 2: didn't tell my wife. Oh good, one man, she is

854
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 2: submitting for me because she's still.

855
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 4: Mad about it.

856
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: All right, this one. I'm not going to read this

857
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: one because it is very long, but I will read

858
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: this one in the green room. It's this Penis Building

859
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: Confession and Salem Winston, Salem merch so will be read

860
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 1: whoever sent this in? But I can tell it's we

861
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: have to do two episodes.

862
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, here it is. This is great, This is amazing.

863
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 2: Whoever pulled this off?

864
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:10,280
Speaker 1: Yes to that amazing.

865
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,399
Speaker 2: Once, in a drunken rage, I slapped a man who

866
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: photo bombed a picture of me with my friends. I

867
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 2: then pretended I was deaf and blind to avoid getting

868
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 2: in trouble with the bar manager.

869
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: And it works. Yes, you are absolved, confession. Thank you

870
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 1: for those hot, hot, hot confessions. You're all absolved. You're

871
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 1: all great people. You came out to see comedy.

872
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 2: The thing we like to call the longest banana.

873
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 1: Who came the furthest or the phone the podcast?

874
00:44:52,480 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 2: Not like you just happened to be visiting from Australia, Nashville, Orlando, Florida.

875
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 1: Okay, what l A? L A definitely is far.

876
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 4: L A is far far.

877
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: You know we live in l A Portland, Oregon?

878
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,399
Speaker 1: Did you come to our Portland show? Too?

879
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 4: Cool? Honestly, we don't care.

880
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 1: That's fine, you can't.

881
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:22,919
Speaker 4: They're all the same to New York.

882
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: You know, we're playing New York next month. We're going

883
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 1: to be in Brooklyn.

884
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 2: All right, So we got New York LA, we got.

885
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: L A l A the show.

886
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 4: Yeah it is I know that, really, I know that voice.

887
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's got l A is a one?

888
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 4: Who else?

889
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 1: Can anybody beat l A?

890
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 2: And then well if no one can beat l A,

891
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,439
Speaker 2: we'll go down next. We got three here?

892
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, l A?

893
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: Who can be?

894
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 2: Who can beat my? Who can beat Orlando?

895
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: Houston is far?

896
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: I don't understand. The map to me is a ball?

897
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? All right?

898
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 2: L A?

899
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: Is it? Ruby here?

900
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 2: Come on down, Come on down, Ruby, Orlando get over here,

901
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 2: I mean use this forever?

902
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 1: Was it?

903
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 2: Orlando?

904
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 1: Okay?

905
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 2: What's your name?

906
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: Some are? And then Orlando and Tampa?

907
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 2: Right, Tampa, Houston, get over here?

908
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: Houston.

909
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that seems like everybody right, that seems like everybody

910
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 2: all right, Thank you guys so much for coming that

911
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: far away.

912
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:28,479
Speaker 4: Here we go.

913
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: So this is on NPR and this was written by

914
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 2: Rachel Tressman. A federal agency wants to give safety tips

915
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: to young adults, so it's dropping an album.

916
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 4: This is why what could go wrong?

917
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 2: A federal agency responsible for promoting the safety of consumer

918
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: products has employed plenty of tactics over the years, from

919
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 2: recalls to regulations to PSAs. Now, the Consumer Product Safety

920
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 2: Commission is trying a new and catchier approach. It's released

921
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 2: an album. Here's the title of the album. We're Safety Now,

922
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 2: haven't we?

923
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: You know, like young people talk exactly?

924
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 4: Here's the cover.

925
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: Here's the cover. Oh oh boy, there's the cover.

926
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 2: Uh it's just a bunch of dogs and foxes.

927
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:21,280
Speaker 1: What happened?

928
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 2: Riding on rumbas and wearing helmets.

929
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 1: So it's like.

930
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 2: It's The style is of like a hip internet meme

931
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: from two thousand and seven. Very cool, right, that's like

932
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 2: a two thousand and seven style meme. Right, she knew U?

933
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: Is that it?

934
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 2: Shebu doze?

935
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 4: Yeah?

936
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: We all know dosee.

937
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 2: We're safety now, haven't we? Packed in six genre spanding

938
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 2: safety focused songs, seven if you count the one that

939
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 2: also has a spanglish version. There's an e there's an

940
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 2: eed M banger about wearing helmets, cool, a Can't Pop

941
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 2: number about firework safety, and a reggaetone track about smoke alarms.

942
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 2: The artists are officially anonymous, but more on that later.

943
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 2: The album is specifically targeted at teenagers and young adults,

944
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 2: so for real. Social media specialist Joseph Galibo told NPR's

945
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: Morning Edition over Zoom that's who. He says, the CPSC

946
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 2: aim to address the products and hazards that are especially

947
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 2: prevalent among people ages thirteen to twenty four based on

948
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 2: its injury data, including bikes, ATV's, fireworks, cooking appliances, and phones.

949
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 2: Many people don't start to think about products safety do

950
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 2: they have kids of their own. But high school and

951
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 2: college age kids are making their own decisions all the

952
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: time without thinking about the potential consequences.

953
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.

954
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 2: So there's a lot of more information about this. I'm

955
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 2: just going to give you some some lines from each

956
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,280
Speaker 2: of the song.

957
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: Ooh. First off.

958
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 2: First off, every song starts with this is.

959
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 5: Brought to you that by the CPSC because that is

960
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 5: a federal requirement for any messaging.

961
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 2: I mean, ah, the CPSC. Uh the okay, So the

962
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: techno song goes, you got to put your phones away,

963
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 2: pay attention.

964
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: Uh, that's it?

965
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 4: Okay?

966
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: Oh no, what are they thinking?

967
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: Helmet goggles, boots, jackets in tones?

968
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: The EDM track about ATVs uh and aren't the ATV

969
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 1: crowd really into edmy?

970
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 4: That's such a crossover. Whenever I think.

971
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: Of guys who ride four wheelers, I'm thinking house music.

972
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 1: It should have been a country song. Yeah, yeah, it's

973
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: not Luke Bryan.

974
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 4: Or some piece of shit.

975
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 2: This is the K Pops song. This is the K

976
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: pop song about fireworks, so fun. I know I'm messing

977
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 2: with a fatal heat and I should walk away and

978
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: let it be, But we lightning sparks with our energy.

979
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: And then here's the reggaetone The AI.

980
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: Is an improvement, Like all of a sudden, I'm like,

981
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:09,320
Speaker 1: maybe they could do better, because this is real bad.

982
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 2: And I can't I can't get enough. I mean it

983
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 2: when I say I'm cautious of your love because your

984
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 2: love is a flame.

985
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 6: Is a Reggaetone song about unattended cooking.

986
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 4: Bye eh boy, they're in.

987
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 2: Love with the fire on their stove. Okay, so now

988
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to play a couple tracks, right.

989
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: Because these are public domain or something, right, these are

990
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 1: play it all right. If you haven't started drinking, start

991
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: drinking right now.

992
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:44,720
Speaker 4: Get that guy on a quad.

993
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: When you're in.

994
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 2: When you're cushion, you protect your noggin, when you're in

995
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 2: the streets, protect your noggin.

996
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: It sounds like it belongs to like the Teenage Mutant

997
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: Ninja Turtle soundtrack. Thanks to the people.

998
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 2: At Thanks to the people at CPSC.

999
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 4: This one's a bop.

1000
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:35,280
Speaker 2: That one slaps, let's sepon CALLI and beats to relax,

1001
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 2: beats to be safe to.

1002
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got beats to be safe to. That's what

1003
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 4: you want when you're having fun with your friends. You

1004
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 4: want to be as safe as possible.

1005
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 1: When my friends get together, we're like, let's be safe,

1006
00:51:48,080 --> 00:52:06,320
Speaker 1: back to the middle and around again. I'm going to

1007
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: be there to the end. One pure that one half

1008
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: they might see on that one.

1009
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:22,920
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a full minute of just that.

1010
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean that does any talking about safety happens?

1011
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: That does make me want to put a helmet on absolutely. Okay,

1012
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 1: So holy smokes, that sucked. So this was nobody's perfect.

1013
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 2: I weirdly have a story that's very similar to this.

1014
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 2: That's great, Yes, it is cool. So I had been

1015
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 2: reminded of this. I've never talked about this on the

1016
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 2: podcast sou I have talked about that. I used to

1017
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 2: do this street like this scrilla theater thing called Chegwin

1018
00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 2: and Chunk. Chenguin was half chicken, half penguin. He is

1019
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 2: nine feet tall. He laid eggs out of his ass.

1020
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 2: And Chunk was half chicken half skunk. He was nine

1021
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,800
Speaker 2: feet tall. He shot water out of his tail. Normally

1022
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: they were half brothers and they were hated each other,

1023
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: and so they would battle in the middle of the street.

1024
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 2: Nineteen ninety nine to two thousand and three is when

1025
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 2: we were doing him, and like thousands of people would come.

1026
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 1: We would like shut down streets in New York.

1027
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 4: It was incredible. It was fucking it was incredible.

1028
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 2: So, of course, because of the way New York City works,

1029
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 2: uh an advertising, an advertising agency approached us and we're like,

1030
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 2: we want to do something like this for tiland all.

1031
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 1: That's a big one, y'all, that's a big one. That's

1032
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 1: not addvill money. That's tailing All money.

1033
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:51,919
Speaker 2: And we're like, what are you talking about? We want

1034
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 2: to destroy livers and I guess thailand All was trying

1035
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 2: to market itself to children. What Oh, So they wanted

1036
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 2: us to do a large scale street battle at skate

1037
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 2: competition around the country. So I mean, and so then Matt,

1038
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,280
Speaker 2: who was Chenguin and who had like built the built

1039
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 2: the costumes, he was like, how about how about the

1040
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 2: whole thing is about pain and it's this battle pain

1041
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 2: and then I don't know, there's a talent all. Yeah,

1042
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 2: and so he had one was a big broken bone,

1043
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 2: a ten foot tall broken bone, and then another was

1044
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 2: a hand in like a cast and there were human

1045
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 2: beings inside of them but they were really really big

1046
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 2: and they were made out of foam and they're really

1047
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 2: actually like beautiful art pieces and and so then I

1048
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 2: was producing the events and tailan All just was like

1049
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 2: whatever you need, and I was like, I need a lot.

1050
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 1: Money mostly yeah yeah, yeah.

1051
00:54:56,080 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 2: So I so the first event was in New Jersey

1052
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 2: on Liberty Island. It was a skate event, and so

1053
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: I was like, well, we're gonna need twenty five actors

1054
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 2: for this, and so I hired all of I hired

1055
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 2: twenty five of my friends to be like the crowd

1056
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,359
Speaker 2: that would like surround it and like cheer everybody on.

1057
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 1: To like get people excited, get injured and uh.

1058
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,879
Speaker 2: And then we had the two you know, the two

1059
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 2: costumes and everything. We had to rent giant vans. These

1060
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 2: you know, they're really big, so we had to have

1061
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 2: like a ten foot cube truck. And then we had

1062
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 2: to have like two sixteen passenger vans for all the actors.

1063
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 1: And then we like get out there.

1064
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: I'm getting I'm making like five hundred dollars an hour

1065
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 2: until you produce it or whatever, and I'm just like

1066
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 2: give me that money, town. And we get there and

1067
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 2: we get there and it's raining cool and the skate

1068
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 2: event is canceled and Tyland all was like, well, there's nothing. Well,

1069
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 2: you can wait and see if the rain stops. And

1070
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 2: we're like yeah, sure. So there's a science center there

1071
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 2: and we just got superstoned. And then we all went

1072
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,280
Speaker 2: to the science center and just like looked at things

1073
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 2: while children gave us diseases and that's fine, and it

1074
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: was great, and it was like, that's amazing.

1075
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 1: This is the best day of work ever.

1076
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: Like I'm twenty three, twenty or a boy. Yeah, I'm

1077
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 2: a boy, and we're like and then they're like, okay,

1078
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 2: well the next event is in San Diego.

1079
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:23,720
Speaker 1: And I was like, fantastic, that's nice, Sonny.

1080
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 2: I was like, who wants to go to San Diego?

1081
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,879
Speaker 2: And everyone, all of my twenty three year old friends

1082
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 2: were like, yes, I would like.

1083
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 1: Two things please. I have four roommates.

1084
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,439
Speaker 2: So I get I don't know, I think I buy

1085
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 2: ten flights for like ten friends. And then we have

1086
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 2: to we have to art pack the costumes. Art packing

1087
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 2: is insane. I don't know if anybody's ever art packed something.

1088
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,839
Speaker 2: It's like eight grand per thing to just like pack

1089
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 2: it up properly and then ship it. And we had

1090
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 2: to have it like shipped to a warehouse on the

1091
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 2: edge of San Diego where they shaped surfboards, and so

1092
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 2: I was like getting there and then I was like,

1093
00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 2: well we now we got a cry and it's like

1094
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:03,280
Speaker 2: these giant crates and we had to hire a big

1095
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 2: truck and have a crane to bring the crates on.

1096
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: To the back of the truck.

1097
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 2: Yeh, I've just like twenty three and like, what is happening?

1098
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 4: I'm getting paid right now? Right, I've got a pace.

1099
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 2: This is hourly and like for the dumbest thing to

1100
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 2: like say that Tylanol does something because we bump it

1101
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 2: into each other or like and also like this was

1102
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 2: the performance. They would come out and then bump against

1103
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 2: each other and then one would fall over.

1104
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 4: That was it.

1105
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 2: And that and they knew that because that's what Chenguin

1106
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: and Chunk was. Like what was funny about it is

1107
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 2: how dumb it was. And once you take stupidity and

1108
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 2: then you bump it up to it costing thirty five

1109
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 2: thousand dollars, right, the people who are paying are very upset.

1110
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 2: So we all get in the night before the skate.

1111
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: The skate event is that the next day, we all

1112
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: get in the night before. I get the things. I

1113
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 2: bring them back to the hotel. We're ready to go,

1114
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 2: and then we again just get a bunch of beers.

1115
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 2: We get really high, and everyone for the very first

1116
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 2: time goes swimming in the Pacific Ocean. We're on a

1117
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 2: fucking hotel on the beach and like ten me and

1118
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 2: ten of my friends just went swimming in the Pacific Ocean.

1119
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 1: We're like, there's more power here.

1120
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 2: Like everyone was so stone a right, pretty high.

1121
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 4: That's pretty high.

1122
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 1: I've seen it.

1123
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 2: I can feel the pulses. The Pacific Ocean is so

1124
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: much larger than the Atlantic.

1125
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 4: It's that's true. It is bigger. That is true.

1126
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 2: I definitely said that a lot.

1127
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 4: When you're young, you try to be important so bad.

1128
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 1: When you're a young person, you're like, Oh, this means something,

1129
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 1: this means something. And then you're old and you see

1130
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 1: somebody do something, you're.

1131
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 4: Like, bullshit, never gonna remember this garbage.

1132
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 1: I'm out, Oh, this is so important. So we get there.

1133
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 2: So we get there, and the skate the skate the

1134
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 2: like it's a like. So there's a vert ramp, then

1135
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 2: there's a there's a freestyle section and it is packed

1136
00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 2: with like the shittiest fucking fifteen year old skate rats

1137
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 2: that San Diego can vomit out at us. They are

1138
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 2: so angry and fucking bored of everything, and so.

1139
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 4: That these big dumb bumpets.

1140
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:21,959
Speaker 3: And they they all have skateboards and they hate it

1141
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 3: and they start beating like the different and everyone's got

1142
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 3: like people are banging their skateboards on the ground and

1143
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 3: then other people are hitting the things and we're trying.

1144
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 2: I'm like trying to control it with like music, I'm

1145
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 2: like DJing it so that like there's like you know,

1146
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 2: builds and then crescendos, and we had like a choreographed

1147
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 2: bumping into each other. The whole thing.

1148
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 4: Lasts ten minutes.

1149
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: And it's going so poorly.

1150
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 2: We kind of ended earlier on the people inside the

1151
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 2: things were like I was scared that these children were

1152
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 2: gonna kill me.

1153
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 4: Dudes are scary.

1154
00:59:57,040 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 2: And then we get out of there and telling I

1155
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 2: was like, you're not gonna do that again.

1156
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 1: But to this day, I still.

1157
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 2: Think that those costumes are like tailand all paid for

1158
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:14,720
Speaker 2: a storage facility. Yeah, we brought them back to New York,

1159
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 2: put them in that storage facility, and I bet you

1160
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 2: it's like the ending of Raiders of the Lost Arms. Yeah,

1161
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 2: it's still I'm sure that those things are still in

1162
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 2: that storage facility, just sitting locked up because I think

1163
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 2: I just gave a key to a random person. Yeah,

1164
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:32,920
Speaker 2: and to get rid of that would cost so much money.

1165
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: It's easier to just pay for it. Everybody, Absolutely, yeah, Jesus.

1166
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 2: So anyway, thank.

1167
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 1: You Tail at all.

1168
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 4: All Right, Well it's coming to you.

1169
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,919
Speaker 1: Kurt and I were remarking before the show as we

1170
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 1: will do that. It is incredible that Charlie Fromage has

1171
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 1: not died yet. He gets thrown around by the TSA

1172
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,919
Speaker 1: in a way that is profane and scary. So give

1173
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 1: it up one more time for Charlie fromm story. But

1174
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,720
Speaker 1: before we do that, we want you to be a

1175
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,919
Speaker 1: part of the show. Yeah, So on the count of three,

1176
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 1: if you'll yell your first name, you're on the episode

1177
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:19,959
Speaker 1: because this is gonna be out in two weeks because

1178
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 1: we're a little behind and it was a good episode.

1179
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:24,960
Speaker 1: So on the count of three, yell your first name

1180
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: as loud as you can.

1181
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 4: One, two, three, honest, lay that wrong.

1182
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 2: I heard every single one.

1183
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 4: I heard it.

1184
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 1: I heard a tony, I heard every single one. Is

1185
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 1: there a.

1186
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 2: In the audience tonight? I heard I heard your name.

1187
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 2: I heard your name.

1188
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 1: We go out on this one, all right, here's just

1189
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 1: a fun one because this is you know, This is

1190
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 1: on UPI, written by Ben Hooper, who is also the.

1191
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 2: Since starting this podcast, UPI has become one of my

1192
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:06,040
Speaker 2: four I don't know what it is. I almost think

1193
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 2: it's maybe Upper Peninsula Investigators, because I don't it's I

1194
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 2: have no idea, but we do so many stories.

1195
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 1: Ben Ooper is incredible and been in a boy number five.

1196
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:19,080
Speaker 1: Aaron Erdmund sent so many from UPI it's like a cheat.

1197
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1198
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: Chinese teen skips rope three hundred and seventy four times

1199
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 1: in one minute.

1200
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 4: WHOA what three and seventy four times?

1201
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 1: Is it a sheer heat?

1202
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 2: It is al anyway, it doesn't matter. God, I'm surprised

1203
01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 2: they didn't actually start to fly.

1204
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 4: It's a it's his, it's a he. I'm guessing it's

1205
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 4: a heat.

1206
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:50,919
Speaker 1: We're gonna go with a sixteen year old jump rope expert. Yes,

1207
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: we have a lot of murder bananas here. There are

1208
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 1: a lot of fake experts in this world. We know this,

1209
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 1: We watch forensic files. We know. But this is an expert.

1210
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,880
Speaker 1: A sixteen year old jumper expert in China broke a

1211
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: Guinness World Record by skipping rope three hundred and seventy

1212
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 1: four times in one minute.

1213
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 2: That's six times a second.

1214
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 4: He did the math.

1215
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 1: He ran the numbers.

1216
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,120
Speaker 2: Six and a half, like six and six and a

1217
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,360
Speaker 2: little more a second.

1218
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 4: Six and a little more in a second.

1219
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 1: Guinness World Record said that Zuoze from yu Yao City,

1220
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: Ningbo broke Japanese jumper Daisuki Mirmura's record of three hundred

1221
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 1: and forty eight skips Bob, tough day for this, Yeah,

1222
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: Mira Murra family, those fucking losers, get back to work.

1223
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 1: What a novice three hundred and forty eight and sixty seconds.

1224
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 4: What a fucking loser. Psych We love you Daisuki uh.

1225
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 1: In one minute which stood for ten years, so it's

1226
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 1: a ten year old record. Zoo, who previously applied for

1227
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: the record but had to start over due to the

1228
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,520
Speaker 1: Guinness World Records Guideline said his new record isn't even

1229
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: his personal best brag. Not the way you do it. Yeah, Bud,

1230
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:18,160
Speaker 1: you're the champ. Shut up, say thank you. I'm so excited,

1231
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:22,880
Speaker 1: take your flowers and go ho. Yeah, my best performance

1232
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 1: was three hundred and eighty nine eight times. Shut up.

1233
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 1: But if you're a three ninety eight, get to four hundred,

1234
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 1: you fucking loser.

1235
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 4: In one minute.

1236
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:36,280
Speaker 1: And that was done in the online part of middle

1237
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 1: school division A third primary blob lie school. Yeah, he

1238
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 1: is in middle school, third primary school, so this sixteen

1239
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 1: year old anyways, it is impressive. It's old old in

1240
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 1: middle school, he's a Yeah.

1241
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,040
Speaker 2: Middle school is a little different in Japan.

1242
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:57,960
Speaker 4: Because he's jumping rope all the time.

1243
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 6: His parents are just weeping. Please just look at the book.

1244
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:10,160
Speaker 6: No never, fuck Japan.

1245
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 4: That's so many jobs. If I think if I did three.

1246
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 1: Hundred and whatever jumps in a year, I'd be like,

1247
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: I'm nailing this year.

1248
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 4: My body looks great.

1249
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 1: This kid does it in one minute. I can't even

1250
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: eat a taco in one minute three hundred and seventy

1251
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 1: four times.

1252
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:34,480
Speaker 4: So let's give it up for sushi. Everybody.

1253
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:41,640
Speaker 1: Who oh boy, Curdie b Yeah, shall we do it?

1254
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 1: Shall we do it?

1255
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 4: All right?

1256
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 2: Guys, that has been banana.

1257
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,640
Speaker 1: Bananas is an exactly right media production.

1258
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 2: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

1259
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 1: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

1260
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:10,240
Speaker 2: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

1261
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:13,040
Speaker 1: And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgarriff and

1262
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:13,840
Speaker 1: Georgia Hartstar

1263
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 2: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot

1264
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 2: intern