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Speaker 1: The Nickser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am, It's

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Speaker 1: nickles a podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Thursday, everyone,

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Speaker 1: we made it. We got through the week. I'm in

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles, California. Still I don't know what I'm talking

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Speaker 1: like this. Um, I feel like maybe that's how Meg

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Speaker 1: and Marcole sounds on her podcast Dignified. She has a

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Speaker 1: new podcast out. If you haven't heard it yet, don't. Um.

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Speaker 1: I haven't listened to it yet. But is that what

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Speaker 1: it's called. It's called like Renegades. No, it's it's no,

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Speaker 1: it should be. That's such a good point. Um, I

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Speaker 1: think it's called it's called like Archetypes. It's just like,

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Speaker 1: come on, is it just her talking in the bathroom? No,

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Speaker 1: she has a guest, but apparently the first episode was

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Speaker 1: with Serena Williams and she didn't get let Serena get

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Speaker 1: a word in, and I go, wow, I'm just like

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Speaker 1: MiG and Markle. I felt for the first time. I

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Speaker 1: was like, wow, we're similar. You could I used to do.

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Speaker 1: I loved just being like in a closet, like, welcome

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Speaker 1: to Archetypes. Don't tell Harry or anybody that doing this.

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Speaker 1: I know, I can get murdered for talking, are you.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing about it. I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: she's because she apparently they're like the most controversial thing

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Speaker 1: she said in the first episode was like, oh no, no.

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Speaker 1: His second episode, Maria Carrey was on and Mike Carry,

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Speaker 1: I guess I don't know why I'm saying that all

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Speaker 1: like Myke Carrey, Mike Carry said turning into you. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know we all carry the way of Marian Carrey.

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Speaker 1: It's it's all of our burdens culturally. But she apparently

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Speaker 1: said to her, like to Megan, Maria was like, well,

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Speaker 1: you've got a little enter like you got a diva

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Speaker 1: and you and Megan was like, like it was nervous.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm getting all this from the Daily Mail,

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Speaker 1: who's like, you know, any time the celebrity walks out

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Speaker 1: there like Rebel Wilson flaunting her flawless pins and it's

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Speaker 1: like she just was walking to her car. She wasn't

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Speaker 1: flaunting anything. So it was like, I read it on

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Speaker 1: the day email because they're obsessed with her, but um,

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Speaker 1: she does have to tread so carefully, especially in light

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Speaker 1: of watching the Diana documentary, Like but she's free from

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Speaker 1: the royal family, Like that's the point, Like she can

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Speaker 1: do anything she wants, even though I cannot imagine what

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Speaker 1: how much money she's making from that podcast, and rightfully so,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's everyone, it's number I think it's number one.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, what do you think, Oh, well, she

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Speaker 1: lives in California. You know that, right yeape get over

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Speaker 1: so hot to me that Harry left his entire family

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Speaker 1: for her and like said goodbye to all of that

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Speaker 1: for her to protect her because she got suicidal, Like

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Speaker 1: his mom, it's not fun over there. He's not having

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Speaker 1: a good time to leave that though, Like it's like

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Speaker 1: leaving Mormonism, like it might be hell, but it's all

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know, I don't know. I know

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Speaker 1: you are, but it's I do find it like so

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Speaker 1: fucking attractive that, um, he did that for her and

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Speaker 1: like just how by her you can tell that he

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Speaker 1: just like loves her so much and you know, risk everything.

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Speaker 1: But I was thinking that, um, this podcast that she's doing,

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Speaker 1: I was like it, like I would be worried even

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Speaker 1: though she's free of the royal family, Like she has

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Speaker 1: to still tread so carefully because everyone's watching her. Every move,

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Speaker 1: wanting her to funk up um, even me, you know,

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Speaker 1: manifesting it in my daily rituals, just being like, please

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Speaker 1: let Megan Margo missed up. But but she's I I

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Speaker 1: love that. I forget that interview she did with Oprah

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Speaker 1: where she said she was suicidal, which anyone of that nature.

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Speaker 1: Admitting as someone who has those thoughts as well, admitting

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Speaker 1: that publicly is so brave. And maybe I'm chooting my

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Speaker 1: own horn, but like I was just talking to last night,

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Speaker 1: Whitney and Ben Gleeb. We're at the comedy store and

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Speaker 1: we were talking about admitting things that you think I

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Speaker 1: forget where we're saying something about but if you say it,

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Speaker 1: people won't want to work with you, like if they

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Speaker 1: if you if you say too much, you might become

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Speaker 1: a liability. And that's always been my worry about saying

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Speaker 1: I have suicidal thoughts. Is like, well, we don't want

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Speaker 1: to give her the tonight show. She's gonna kill herself,

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Speaker 1: and then what what we're we gonna do? It's like, well,

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Speaker 1: it'd be great advertising, it would be great for you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if I do it live on air. No, I'm I'm like,

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Speaker 1: but it's not. No, one cares. No one people people,

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Speaker 1: you know, Chris Farley was on a path to death,

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Speaker 1: and people were not intervening, Like as long as you're

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Speaker 1: making people money, they don't They're not looking if you're

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Speaker 1: a liability down the road. They want to make the

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Speaker 1: dollar right now. So it's like, it's almost sad that

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Speaker 1: no one cared that I was suicidal when I said

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Speaker 1: it on like that. None of my reps were like, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you need a break or like, can you say

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Speaker 1: that more? Because that got you a lot of press.

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Speaker 1: There was a bump and I'm going to do a

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Speaker 1: couple to feel better. Um, but oh, I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about It occurred to me when I was doing Kimmel um,

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Speaker 1: and I was, you know, we're talking about the hardest

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Speaker 1: part of the show for me was like trying to

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Speaker 1: be present during the interviews. Hear what they were saying, laugh,

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Speaker 1: set them up for good stuff, not try to make

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Speaker 1: it about me. Don't try to chewhorn punch lines. No

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Speaker 1: one is going to go wow, great comeback with like

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Speaker 1: just be natural. And there was a point that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to make when he was talking about and maybe

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Speaker 1: I have gotten cut because I didn't see the interview,

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Speaker 1: but he was talking about um mel Brooks and Arnold

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Speaker 1: doing voices for his cartoon and how it all happened

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Speaker 1: during COVID, and I just wanted to say, like, picture

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Speaker 1: Arnold under a blanket, like doing voice. It's such an

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Speaker 1: inside thing of like people who do audio. No, like

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Speaker 1: how like crazy it looks like so that you're under

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Speaker 1: a blanket, like in a closet in a hotel room,

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Speaker 1: being like Dave Matthews Band Radio Channel thirty this week

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Speaker 1: on Labor Dave Weekend, like inside one of his horses,

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Speaker 1: you know, like like like inside of Clydesdale. So I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do this formal ces. Why did I give him

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Speaker 1: a British check? Why could he? Why do I picture

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Speaker 1: him in a horse? That's weird because he horses. He's

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Speaker 1: all about horses. Oh yeah, there's like a pony like

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Speaker 1: walking around his house in the face in one of

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Speaker 1: his movies. I love that scene because you can tell

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Speaker 1: it's so fake, like she didn't actually hurt the horse

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Speaker 1: because the horse kind of just there's a minute, it's

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Speaker 1: a beat where it kind of goes like someone off

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Speaker 1: camera goes fall and then it like falls. There was

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Speaker 1: a conversation where Arnold was like, look, I want to

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Speaker 1: hit the horse. It's got to Should I just do it?

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Speaker 1: You can go to lunch earlier. Um, They're like, we might.

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Speaker 1: I bet. Back in the seventies though, there were like

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Speaker 1: a little bit of lax laws about like stuff like

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Speaker 1: you know what, hit it with your left hand, Arnold.

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Speaker 1: Animals were getting punched it with your laugh Give it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: give it any animals and brave Heart fell don't break

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Speaker 1: its leg because we'll have to kill it. I did that,

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Speaker 1: but Brave Heart they got hit all with spikes. Remember

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Speaker 1: they Oh well, Meldon cared the horses were Jewish. Um.

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Speaker 1: He made sure to have Jewish horses for heaven. Andrew

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Speaker 1: your I did not see it your your show. I did.

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Speaker 1: I kind of texted you late on Tuesday night to

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Speaker 1: see how it went. I assumed. I mean, I had

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Speaker 1: no doubt it was going to be like epic and

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Speaker 1: I hate that word. But how was it tell us

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Speaker 1: about it? I mean had founding cheesy. So yeah, I

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Speaker 1: got to finally, I didn't know the only other time

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Speaker 1: I've ever done an hour you saw it was when

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Speaker 1: I did my one many an hour and a half. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I like, so I have no question time. I

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Speaker 1: was still worried about the time, especially, you know, because

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Speaker 1: you know there it's more laxed about. But I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do these longer stories. I'm gonna can

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Speaker 1: put them in there. I don't give a fuck. And um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know the stories. It's just you've done it

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Speaker 1: so many times. But the timing and of doing an

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Speaker 1: hour versus like fifteen to twenty minutes. I don't tell

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Speaker 1: the stories though, dude, that's different. But but it's like

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Speaker 1: this like feeling of like blah blah blah blah, like

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Speaker 1: getting joke after laugh laugh, but like you could have

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Speaker 1: moments where they're still listening. And I was just proud

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Speaker 1: of myself where like I wasn't crushing at some point

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Speaker 1: at some points and there was some quiet and it

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Speaker 1: was like and I just kind of sat in it

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Speaker 1: and I was very present, and I wondered about that.

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Speaker 1: You're good. I watched you even in your smaller sets

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Speaker 1: that you do, and I I sometimes resented because I

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Speaker 1: can't do it. But you are able to get them

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Speaker 1: back to a place where they're like calm down again

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Speaker 1: and they're like on the edge of their seats. You

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Speaker 1: do not need to fill the silence. You're not insecure

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Speaker 1: in that way on stage, and I think that I

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Speaker 1: don't know how I'm not. I don't know either, dude,

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Speaker 1: because it doesn't fit anything else about you. But you

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Speaker 1: really can do this thing where you just kind of

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Speaker 1: like we'll be you'll just take your time, and I

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Speaker 1: know that you know what's next, and sometimes you'll say

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Speaker 1: like you'll make it like casual, but you just can

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Speaker 1: be in those moments you can like take your time.

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Speaker 1: It's really I want to get better at being slower

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Speaker 1: like that. But I remember Louis saying like, you can't

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Speaker 1: have the highs without the lows. Like if you're going

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Speaker 1: on a roller coaster and the whole thing is just down,

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Speaker 1: you're by the end of it, you're just like, well,

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Speaker 1: we gotta have to You're gonna have to have moments

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Speaker 1: where everyone goes, what's he like, wait, what's next, Like

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Speaker 1: we're kind of like back down to But I always

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Speaker 1: get worried that because I know about human psychology and

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Speaker 1: sociology and what people remember, that they're going to remember

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Speaker 1: the moments where they didn't have faith in me to

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Speaker 1: keep going. But the truth is they do have faith

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Speaker 1: in you. I am thinking that they don't think like

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Speaker 1: I can. Artists you do that, yeah, you know, but

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Speaker 1: I'm it's like I'm fine watching you. I don't get nervous,

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Speaker 1: Like there is a way to do it where you

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Speaker 1: take beats. I gotta I gotta learn how to do that.

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Speaker 1: So present, I felt like there was a hundred people there,

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Speaker 1: So I was really amazing. Do you think it's because

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Speaker 1: you played sports as a kid that it helps me

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Speaker 1: for moments like this? Yeah? No, because I never was

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Speaker 1: like the man on sports either, like no, no, but

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Speaker 1: I was always like the fifth best guy on the

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Speaker 1: team or something, you know, like why would that help? No.

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Speaker 1: So I was playing with my nephew the other day

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Speaker 1: and he's you know, like into sports and stuff, and

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Speaker 1: we were playing like monkey in the middle and he

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Speaker 1: would like come up to me and try to tackle me,

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Speaker 1: and he had like no hesitation about it, and I

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Speaker 1: was thinking, like, wow, I wonder if this is going

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Speaker 1: to like translate to later in life where you just

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Speaker 1: go into something with no hesitation, and um, I just that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. The older I got, the more fear

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Speaker 1: I hadn't in sports. Sometimes with stand up it's the

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Speaker 1: same way. It's kind of a weird thing. You'll go

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Speaker 1: to like a a competition and a person that's like

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Speaker 1: two months in will have the most confidence in the

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Speaker 1: room because they just haven't felt pain of failing. They

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Speaker 1: don't know how that it feels to get tackled yet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like your nephew has not been in the face or

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like he doesn't know because

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Speaker 1: that's when you start flinching. Is when you know, when

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Speaker 1: you burn yourself on the stove. Otherwise you're putting your

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Speaker 1: hand on the stove. And yeah, that's interesting. Like I

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Speaker 1: think you're right, Like the more you do it, the

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Speaker 1: more you you have more data where you're like, I

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Speaker 1: know how bad this can go. Badly this can go.

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Speaker 1: I did a set last night where I was trying

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Speaker 1: to be more slow and measured. The audience was terrible.

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Speaker 1: Like no offense to people who are at the comedy

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Speaker 1: store last night on Wednesday, but main room you were drunk.

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Speaker 1: It was not all of you, but there was like

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Speaker 1: a couple of people that were just too drunk, laughing

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Speaker 1: at the wrong times, like trying to make the show

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Speaker 1: about them and like when they laugh and so it

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Speaker 1: was just I heard it backstage and I go, oh,

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Speaker 1: this set that I'm going to try to get something

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Speaker 1: done on, it's worthless, like I heard Tom Poppa said.

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Speaker 1: And then when Tom brought me up and we crossed

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Speaker 1: paths and I just go, he goes they are drunk,

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Speaker 1: and I was like And then it became so fun

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Speaker 1: because I was like this all I don't have to

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Speaker 1: I can just experiment. I'm gonna go through like new

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Speaker 1: stuff and it was um easier. And there were times

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Speaker 1: where I was like, I'm not doing well like I am.

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Speaker 1: I these setups are longer. Um. There was just moments

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Speaker 1: where there's like too much silence for me where I

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Speaker 1: start to go into your bombing if there's not laughter.

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Speaker 1: But I got off stage and Ben Glee watched me.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's just being nice, but he was like that

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Speaker 1: was awesome, Like it was great. It was actually great

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Speaker 1: because it wasn't that I wasn't funny. People were just

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Speaker 1: listening and it was interesting and they're just lit and

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Speaker 1: it's yeah, I know it's that and we need huh

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Speaker 1: really okay, I'm still listening Like that's what comedians need

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Speaker 1: is like constant, like are you still there? And that's why.

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Speaker 1: That's what laughs confirmed. But otherwise you think they're they're

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Speaker 1: tapped out when they're just listening. We had we we

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Speaker 1: definitely had a Bestie's there last uh two nights ago,

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Speaker 1: and there was this one guy and there was a

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Speaker 1: couple of funny moments with like crowd work because like

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Speaker 1: I was really happy with my crowd work and like

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Speaker 1: going back to the guy and bringing it in and

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Speaker 1: like really just the rhythm of it. But one guy

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Speaker 1: had his shirt unbuttoned all the way down to like

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Speaker 1: his his belly button, and I was just like this

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Speaker 1: is and you're sitting in the front row facing the

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're what what is this? Like this

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Speaker 1: can't be your look and whatever. Like I went in

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Speaker 1: on the guy, but like in a fun way, and

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Speaker 1: and uh called like Benjamin unbuttoned, did you like have

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Speaker 1: a fun Well listen, I'm in a relax state, right No, no,

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Speaker 1: but no, But my my point is is that so

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Speaker 1: I'm like rasing him a little and his girlfriend goes

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Speaker 1: he passed a kidney stone and still came to your show.

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Speaker 1: It was like yeah, And then I go, can anyone

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Speaker 1: beat that? Does anyone have seven fun? And who has

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Speaker 1: a better story of like what they overcame to get here?

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Speaker 1: How far did you drive? Like how many people like?

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Speaker 1: But I went right into cancer, like like late cancer,

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Speaker 1: and it hit pretty get there eventually it would hit

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Speaker 1: harder though if like I probably didn't pick the most dude,

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Speaker 1: how that's comedy for you. It's just like taking a

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Speaker 1: risk like that and then going man, I was on

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Speaker 1: the right path, but I overshot it a little bit,

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Speaker 1: like his buttons. Um, I've done that so much where

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Speaker 1: I go, I take it. Oh my god, this is

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Speaker 1: so embarrassing. I don't even want to say it because

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Speaker 1: I don't even know how I can say this without UM,

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Speaker 1: because I'm trying to be obviously more private about my UM,

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Speaker 1: my personal life and my relationship because I like, I'm

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Speaker 1: so obsessed with it right now and it's just the

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Speaker 1: best thing in the world. And it's because I've chosen

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Speaker 1: to be UM just more loving and like not as

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Speaker 1: freewheeling with It's like I could just say anything about

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Speaker 1: my relationship, like I'm trying to respect it more. But

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna try to get through this without

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Speaker 1: breaching anything because I think it's funny. I was on stage,

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Speaker 1: and people already kind of know that I don't get.

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Speaker 1: I was talking about jealousy and being jealous of j Loo,

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Speaker 1: and then I was talking about I honestly, I've said

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Speaker 1: it before, like I don't care on stage, so I

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Speaker 1: think it's okay. I don't care if my boyfriend like

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Speaker 1: hooks up with other girls. I'm actually turned on by it.

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Speaker 1: And these two really hot girls in the front row

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Speaker 1: like front ish row original room in the store. If

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Speaker 1: you've been there, it's like kind of like a more

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Speaker 1: like intimate setting. Yeah, it feels like like a bar show.

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Speaker 1: I was talking about, like, you know, I've been the

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Speaker 1: other woman before. No women admit to it, but like,

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Speaker 1: I don't care if you like I I went after

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Speaker 1: a guy that had a girlfriend. I didn't care, and um,

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Speaker 1: I don't really feel that bad about it. And I'm

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Speaker 1: grappling with that, and they were like, well we're gonna

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Speaker 1: and I go, no one ever admits of being another woman,

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Speaker 1: and the girls go, and I go, except these fucking

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Speaker 1: oars and they go, we're gonna suck your boyfriend. And

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Speaker 1: I go, it's funny you say that, you think that

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Speaker 1: I would be threatened by that, but I actually like that,

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Speaker 1: you guys are very hot, honestly, DM me, I will

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Speaker 1: set it up. I will be turned on by that.

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Speaker 1: And and then I just took it one step too far,

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Speaker 1: like do you ever Like the audience was kind of

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Speaker 1: on board with it because it's just such an outrighteous

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Speaker 1: thing to say. But then I took it to a

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Speaker 1: place where things I say in the bedroom that are

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Speaker 1: like the shorthand that Chris and I have in our

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Speaker 1: intimate bedroom setting of like the kind of dirty talk

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Speaker 1: that we do. I'm so used to talking that way

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Speaker 1: and having it be totally line and like acceptable and

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Speaker 1: almost sound like that's just the way you're talking about room.

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Speaker 1: Everyone must talk that way. That I said the most

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Speaker 1: filthy thing I've maybe ever said in the bedroom, but

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Speaker 1: it's something it would be, you know, it's up there.

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Speaker 1: And I said it about them fucking my boyfriend and

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Speaker 1: then like what I would do afterwards, and it shut

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Speaker 1: the room down and suck like it was crickets so

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Speaker 1: fast where people were like, like it was it was

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like someone saw my porn search history.

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Speaker 1: Like it's almost like I opened my laptop at a

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Speaker 1: Starbucks and like my porn from the last night was

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Speaker 1: like and you're just like, oh my god. They just

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Speaker 1: like it was. Yes, it was so gross that everyone

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00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,919
Speaker 1: was just like ah. And it was so funny because

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Speaker 1: I also had this guy from Esquire magazine who's following

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Speaker 1: me around that night and watching my sets, and he

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Speaker 1: witnessed that, and I I hope he does he refers

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Speaker 1: in some way because it was such a perfect example

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Speaker 1: of me just being like, too, We're I'm exposing a

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Speaker 1: part of myself that I think. Me being such an

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Speaker 1: open person, I say everything. There are still things I

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Speaker 1: can say that can absolutely shock people. And it was

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00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 1: but you know what it was. It was kind of

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Speaker 1: like I've talked about it before, how I would like

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Speaker 1: to do porn someday. Like it was impressively, impressively pornographic

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Speaker 1: in a way that I think the silence was also

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Speaker 1: people being like horn too horny for it. I hate

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Speaker 1: when I said morning goes oh, but like horny nous

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00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 1: and comedy don't mix, like your dick if it's like

352
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Speaker 1: has blood rushing to it. You know, I've talked about

353
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Speaker 1: it my special so I think it was that too.

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Speaker 1: But it was just it was that thing that you

355
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Speaker 1: talked about where you're just like, oh man, I had

356
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Speaker 1: them and I lost them on a dime because I

357
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 1: just said something so gross. But I do stand by it,

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Speaker 1: and those girls can dm me and I would like

359
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Speaker 1: to set it up, but um no, that's not my

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Speaker 1: relationship right now. It's a you know, not. Everything he

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Speaker 1: says about it has to be a reality. I just

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Speaker 1: have to say I'm very happy in my relationship. It's

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Speaker 1: the best it's ever been. And he's been in Iceland

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Speaker 1: for eight days. It's awesome. Um do you find the

365
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 1: distance makes the heart grow fonder? Yeah? No, it does,

366
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Speaker 1: if for sure? Um, I mean I was only gone

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Speaker 1: for two days, but yeah, no, when you get back,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I was driving back and I was

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Speaker 1: listening to someone talk about how much they love they

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Speaker 1: have for their partner, and I was like literally getting

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Speaker 1: teared up while driving back, thinking like, wow, this person

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Speaker 1: really does love me for just just my who I am,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know, just like the love. I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about the love she has for me, not how

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Speaker 1: much I love her, but like how can someone love

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Speaker 1: me so much? And I was just like driving like

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00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: like I just had that too. It's sad to say that.

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00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,679
Speaker 1: I just let that in after nine years with this

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Speaker 1: person or like going through so many different phases of

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Speaker 1: our relationship. But I just had that too of like

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, I hate to speak in like

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Speaker 1: you know, f boy Island talked at the end of

383
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 1: the day, his walls are coming down, and so are

384
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Speaker 1: mine because I had to bring my walls down first.

385
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 1: I did not realize in my relationship that I was

386
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Speaker 1: the one that is avoidant and scared of commitment and

387
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Speaker 1: scared of forever and scared of like I think that

388
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 1: I got into this archetype. Talk about archetypes now on Spotify,

389
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,440
Speaker 1: but I got into the archetype of the girl that

390
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 1: is like, why doesn't this guy want to marry me?

391
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 1: I want to get married. He's fairy of commitment. Like

392
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 1: it's easy to play that character where you know, even

393
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Speaker 1: on my reality show, it's like I was pursuing Chris,

394
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to get married. It's just a that's

395
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: a role I play. But I'm the one that is

396
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 1: creating this vibe from him that that then makes me

397
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: this desperate character. I'm setting the stage for that. Like

398
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 1: if you you you don't realize, like you can create

399
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: the narrative about yourself that you want by having people

400
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 1: like and it kind of showcases you, like like I

401
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: was listening to the the same but like like you can

402
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: make up, not make up, but you can make a

403
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 1: story where it's like my mom did this, so then

404
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,239
Speaker 1: UM like this and maybe you like for me, like

405
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 1: maybe I'll even like you could have exaggerated or whatever

406
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: to make yourself. You're not a bad person. You're not

407
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 1: like yeah, someone else repeccable investigate this more read of

408
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: this break. Yeah, we're talking about love and feeling loved

409
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: before we went to break and yeah, I'm just starting

410
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: to be like, oh my god, this person because I

411
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 1: was so depressed last week and he was so like

412
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: I just kept telling him, like get run away from this,

413
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 1: like who wants to be with this? Like how could

414
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: you possibly want to be around such a negative Nellie?

415
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 1: And like I just picture him like he's in having

416
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: the time. He's holding up like a like a steak

417
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 1: that he used to climb the mountain and he's like yeah,

418
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 1: and you're on the other end, Like I just told

419
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: him to stay, I go back to your friends. Yes,

420
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,919
Speaker 1: I was like I run away from me and I

421
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: wasn't trying to push him away. I was really like this,

422
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: just check back in when I'm a better person, Like

423
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 1: just forget you have a girlfriend, because this is not

424
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: fun to deal with and there's nothing he was just

425
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: like he just was like I am not going anywhere.

426
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 1: I don't care, Like this is this is it? Like

427
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,880
Speaker 1: this is like this is what you are and like

428
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: it's just the way it is. Like it was almost

429
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: kind of like sickness and in health, like and he

430
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 1: thrives in that state too, Like it's a he's he

431
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 1: likes being there for me in those times and just

432
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 1: not having to fix it, but just like listening being there.

433
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: It's um, I think it makes him feel closer to

434
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: me when I can be, you know, really honest about

435
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 1: how ship, like how bad I feel, and I sometimes

436
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: go because I remember in our relationship prior, like I

437
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: would talk bad about myself or I would say I'm

438
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: so like ugly or whatever I was struggling with, and

439
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: I would be like I remember him. Maybe he didn't

440
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: say it, but I just remember someone being like when

441
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: my partner talks like that about themselves, like why would

442
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 1: I want to be with someone that doesn't even like themselves?

443
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,199
Speaker 1: Like what do you think of me if I'm with you,

444
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: and I think whether he said that or I heard

445
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: that somewhere back then, it's not the way he feels

446
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: now like he the love we have for each other.

447
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: It's I could say anything bad about myself and it's

448
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: not going to make him go oh, I never saw

449
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: that about you. I was always kind of scared of

450
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 1: revealing something that's like now you're going to see the

451
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: real thing, and now you're gonna run away. It's like

452
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 1: he's I could become you know, I could be in

453
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 1: an assile attack and have no face and he would

454
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: still be attracted to me. He would still want Yes,

455
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 1: he accepts me, and that really confounds me. Though I'm

456
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 1: kind of similar, I think to you in a way

457
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: where I don't like to ask for help. I don't

458
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: like people helping me a lot until it gets to

459
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: the point where like I need all the help sometimes

460
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 1: and like I feel like so much strong in so

461
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: many ways where it's like this person doesn't need anything

462
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: at all, and then it's like no, I do. And

463
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: because I think, like some people like go oh, you

464
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 1: can help me today, like like it's like little increments

465
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 1: of help, you know what I mean? And so then

466
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: it's like and that's he likes to be of service.

467
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: He like and it makes him feel good. It makes

468
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 1: anyone feel good to help out others. I always talk

469
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 1: about it whenever i'm if you're depressed, out there the

470
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 1: number one way to get out of it. And I

471
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,479
Speaker 1: should have told myself this past weekend, but I was not.

472
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 1: You know, depressed people are not in a state to

473
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: figure out things that will make them feel better, because

474
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: the problem with depression is that you convince yourself this

475
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: is the state that you should this is reality, and

476
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: anything to get you out of it would be in

477
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 1: a lusory dreamlike world where you don't want to be

478
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: one of the sheep. You want to know how bad

479
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 1: add life is, and so you get stuck in it.

480
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: So I really don't want to take advice. But anytime

481
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,479
Speaker 1: I'm just like, can we start talking about me? Can

482
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 1: I just like hear about your life and like give

483
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 1: you some advice, like helping someone else takes you out

484
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: of it. But he, um, he loves doing that ship

485
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: and I think that, um, I just need to get

486
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 1: it depressed more often for our relationship. Now. It's it

487
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: was really like I don't know, I was just like

488
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: sometimes it does strike me where it's the same thing

489
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: with what my mom says she loves me, and I go,

490
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: but why, Like I want actual I want information about

491
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 1: what you love about me because I feel like I

492
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: want to hear like you're you make me feel this

493
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: like I get it from my friends, but sometimes I

494
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, when people just love you, um

495
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: unconditionally the way that you know Brenna loves you and

496
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 1: conditionally the way you're talking about where it's just like,

497
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 1: oh my god, someone like deeply loves me in a

498
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: way that like my mom does, just because I exist

499
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: and I'm that person, Like that's what I'm replacing it,

500
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: Like that's what you get a partner for, I believe

501
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: is because your parents die and that unconditional someone who

502
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: is supposed to love you unconditionally is going to leave

503
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 1: this earth and you need to replace them with someone

504
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: else that is just like I'm in it. I'm family,

505
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: and I have that from my friends, but I'm really

506
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: starting to feel that like, Okay, I just have to

507
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 1: stop questioning why Chris loves you even though he puts

508
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: up with all this stuff that you think makes you unlovable.

509
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,959
Speaker 1: Just surrender yourself to the fact that he does. And

510
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: it's just like the way your dad or your mom

511
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 1: loves you, like it's it's that deep now that there,

512
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 1: it doesn't need definition, it doesn't need evidence in proof.

513
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: I would fine tune that and take out puts up

514
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: with two accepts. Well, I guess I'm saying. I'm saying

515
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: I was saying puts up with to be the most

516
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: negative version of myself in that scenario. But you're absolutely right, accepts.

517
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: But you're right, But in my most negative state, I,

518
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 1: oh god, what am I offering him? Except like, I

519
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,679
Speaker 1: know sex really, like I blow it out of the

520
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:06,120
Speaker 1: park every fucking time. But like that is not enough

521
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,239
Speaker 1: to keep a relationship going. And it's certainly I know

522
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: him enough to know that, like it takes more than that.

523
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 1: So sometimes I'm like, what is he getting out of this?

524
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: And um, and I think that that just is me

525
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: needing to I do need to know more of Like

526
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 1: I need to know what I do that makes him

527
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: feel like he loves me so much so I can

528
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: do more of it. And I figured out that with

529
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: men just from reading read it really and having male friends,

530
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: but really read it. And I've talked about this before.

531
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: Men are starved of hearing what they mean to you.

532
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 1: What how complimenting them about their personality there looks like

533
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 1: men are so thirsty for it. And I think that

534
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: in the past with Chris, I was so I watched

535
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 1: Jerry McGuire last night, and I'm like, oh my god,

536
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: this is our relationship. Like if you remember that movie

537
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 1: was up till three watching it. I'm just going through

538
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: all my favorite movies with Harry mat Sally, Jerry McGuire.

539
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: I And it's so interesting to see these movies from

540
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: an adult lens because in that movie, I thought Renee's

541
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: Elwigger and Jeremy Ware liked each other equally and then

542
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: it just didn't work out. But she was so in

543
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: love with him, put him on a pedestal, would do

544
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: anything to make it work. He did not love her

545
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 1: in that way because he wasn't capable of it, and

546
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 1: also she he shouldn't have because she loved him blindly,

547
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: so he didn't actually feel. You can't love someone that

548
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 1: you go, I don't really this person loves me and

549
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: they don't really know me. He didn't feel seen because

550
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 1: he didn't let his walls down. She shouldn't have loved

551
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: him that way. So eventually she says to him, like,

552
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: this was a mistake. It was my fault. I I

553
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: thought I could love us enough for both of us,

554
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: and it's not the case. So then they get, you know,

555
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: they separate, and then he finally, you know, lets his

556
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: walls down and like and loves her, and it kind

557
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: of happens a little too quick for my taste upon

558
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: second viewing, but it's a movie and they gotta get

559
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: it under two hours, um, because I used to respect

560
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: your time back in the nineties with movies. But I

561
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: just feel like, um, I used to want Crystal love

562
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: me so much and just get that like I love

563
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: you that I um that I didn't leave him space

564
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: to actually do it, and I think once and now

565
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: I'm so cagy about putting too much love on him

566
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: because I used to not get it back enough, like

567
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: I feel like I love you so much, And then

568
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: he'd be like, I love you too, you know, like

569
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: he was trying to match me to be polite, but

570
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: I can tell it wasn't the same as what I

571
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: was feeling or But the truth is I didn't love

572
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: him in that way, so he was reacting the right way.

573
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: You know, like, but now I feel like I need

574
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: to be more confusive about my feelings because he like

575
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: I think with Jerry McGuire, and I think maybe even

576
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 1: with you a little bit like but honestly kind of

577
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: like he Jerry McGuire, like the whole point of the

578
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: movie is like he searched for, you know, as many

579
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: clients as possible and being a ruthless agent, and his

580
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: career was fucking everything and that's where he found his

581
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: happiness is signing the most money and and all this

582
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: like ego stuff. And I feel like with you where

583
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: you've like you couldn't you had your head down so

584
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: much for your career this whole time, that like how

585
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: could you love someone if you're that focused on, you know,

586
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: finding happiness in your career and finding from the outside

587
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: from from yeah yeah, validation that is so and that

588
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: doesn't mean anything. And then the end, but you have

589
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: to go through it to learn that. It's kind of

590
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: like the monkey in the middle with Noah's like nephew,

591
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: it's like he doesn't know that, like, oh this he

592
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: never You experienced so many highs in this business already

593
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: and you're gonna only get more. But it's like trying

594
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,959
Speaker 1: to feed that like whatever, like that validation related to

595
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: that movie, right, I related to her and him and

596
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: fucking Cuba Gooding Junior to it all, and and the

597
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: baby boy wears glasses and has blue highs. And though

598
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: I would have liked to see this woman be a

599
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: little bit old her in his age, he's thirty five

600
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: and she's twenty six, And I'm like, well, couldn't she

601
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: have been thirty four in the movie? Like I'm glad

602
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: they've cast her and it was probably based on that,

603
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: but like I don't need her to be so young.

604
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: And but it makes sense because she's maturity wise, they're

605
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: kind of at the same place because he's so stunted

606
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: from having this like a career, and she's grown up

607
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: more because she's a single mom. So it does make sense.

608
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: But man, I just feel like, um, do boys do men?

609
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: I should say, like it's I think that you if

610
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: you want more from people, you've got to give it first,

611
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: Like you gotta be the one like if I and

612
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: I think that I've just been so cag about showing

613
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 1: like being so loving to Chris because I used to

614
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: not get it back that if I give him that

615
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: again he won't give it back. But our relationship is

616
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: different now. It's like I'm dating a different person, so

617
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: I have to be I want to be more effusive

618
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: because he seems to really respond to it. And then

619
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: I get it back and it's like, oh my god,

620
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: whoa this is? I think I've just been So it's like, yeah,

621
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: it's exactly like the monkey in the middle thing of

622
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: like I got tackled too much early on with the

623
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: same person and I didn't get back, and it hurts

624
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: so much that I don't want to give up anything

625
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: now and I'm more cag with my feelings and I

626
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: just have to I have to realize, like, uh, I

627
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: gotta do the uncomfortable thing if I want to get

628
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 1: that back. Well, what's so cool about well life in general,

629
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: but with relationships, like let's say nine nine times in

630
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: a row, the person doesn't respond how you want them

631
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: to respond, and then but then like let's say, you know,

632
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: the eighth and ninth time, you finally speak up and

633
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,719
Speaker 1: you go, Okay, this isn't working like this, like whatever,

634
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: like you gotta change, and then the tenth time they

635
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: actually like change. It's not like life. You're like whoa,

636
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: They're gonna go back to you. You're like, Okay, this

637
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: is who they are now and and this is great

638
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: and let's go from here like that. Like that, it's

639
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 1: hard to you know what I us. They will like

640
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: you will relapse, You will have those moments where you

641
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: go back to the first nine times you were doing

642
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: it because that it's so ingrained us and it and

643
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: by the time we're thirty five, I'm learning this from

644
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: this book that I've actually I'm finishing you guys. Um

645
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: Breaking the Habit of being Yourself by Joe to Spenser.

646
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: I have so much to say about it. I want

647
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: people to read it because I want to make fun

648
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: of it so bad. That are so And you gotta

649
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: listen to his meditations because I love this guy's writing

650
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: so much. But Joe, if you're listening, your meditations are

651
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: fucking insane and I can't. I just need you, guys,

652
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: to do one of his meditations on YouTube, and just

653
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: so I can make fun of it. We can talk

654
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: about it, um and see if you can get through

655
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: it because I could not. Um. But what you're saying

656
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: is um. Yeah, Like I I actually was on a

657
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: run recently and I told Chris because we were doing

658
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,479
Speaker 1: We're just on such a good stretch of loving each

659
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: other so much. And I He's like, hey, if you

660
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: put in this effort that the things I need from you,

661
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: my love language, if you work towards doing these things

662
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 1: that for you, you just don't think like why would

663
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: that me matter to him? But it does, Like you

664
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 1: need to understand these do so please. And I said

665
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: the same to him. And I said to him, I

666
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: was on a run recently and I was like, oh,

667
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: I gotta tell him. This analogy of our relationship is

668
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 1: going to be like a run, a long run where

669
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna stop running, but they're going

670
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: to be stretches of it where it looks like I'm walking,

671
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: almost like there's going to be times where I'm never

672
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 1: gonna give up. I'm giving you that promise, like I

673
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: obviously haven't yet, but just know that my I'm not

674
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: gonna always be sprinting. It's not always gonna look that impressive,

675
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: and it's gonna look but I'm not gonna I'm not

676
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: gonna walk. Like you know, if you if you go

677
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: on to run your runner and you start walking, you

678
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 1: don't run again. I mean, it's rare where you go.

679
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just take a break and get some water,

680
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: and then you get up to a pace again. Once

681
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 1: you stop, you're kind of like, well, I'm gonna stop

682
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 1: my app Nike Run app. And then they say something,

683
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: you know, like, hey girl, you got out there today

684
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: and every run is just a little change in the

685
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: penny jar and someday you're gonna cash out, and you're

686
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: like that is insulting. Um, it's like Hussain Bolt being like, whoa,

687
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: I saw you out there today. You almost caught up

688
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: to me. I gotta watch my back, and you're like,

689
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: stop this condescension. But um, that's how it feels like.

690
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,479
Speaker 1: I just don't want to stop running. And it might

691
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: look like I'm one of those old men who runs

692
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: like they're throwing a baseball where they're just like limping,

693
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: like the old man in town that you would see

694
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: running on the side of the road constantly. It might

695
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,720
Speaker 1: look like that. And I told him I was like, Chris,

696
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,919
Speaker 1: I am always going to I'm not gonna walk, I'm

697
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 1: not gonna sit down. I'm not gonna give up on

698
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 1: this run. I gotta complete it. But it's gonna be

699
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be perfect. I'm going to forget dates

700
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 1: that you tell me to save. I'm going to schedule

701
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 1: things sometimes without thinking about you. Um, I'm gonna forget stuff. Um,

702
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: but I don't want to forget it, and my intention

703
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: is not too But I'm gonna slip up again. And

704
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 1: it's does that is that kind of like what you're

705
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: saying about let's feel like I'm well, I'm thinking about

706
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 1: with the run analogy like the tortoise and the hair

707
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: like I feel like your very hair like like with

708
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: your life because your life is fast moving and it's

709
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,439
Speaker 1: hard to pay attention to think. So it's like maybe

710
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: run like a little. I want to do that with everything.

711
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about the surgery because it is going

712
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:27,279
Speaker 1: to make me I cannot talk, so I will be

713
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: listening constantly. I will just be observing. It will be

714
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: a completely almost meditative experience. I want to get quiet

715
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: and calm and slow. I need like purposely. Yeah. I

716
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: think your life has been your life has been on

717
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: one point eight speed or maybe maybe to talk so

718
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: and that is actually for my vocal healthy Remember vacation, No,

719
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: because you've never been on one. I thought you met

720
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: the movie. You know what I mean. No, No, I'm

721
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: just saying, like your vacations are even work, you know,

722
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: like you just haven't let yourself because you've had no

723
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: but for two days. This is the best thing. I

724
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: would not have been able to do this break where

725
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: I don't do any podcasts. I don't do like I

726
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 1: just posted a tweet yesterday that said, normalize free time

727
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: as not something that means I. It was something about,

728
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 1: like free time doesn't mean that is I'm available, Like

729
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,479
Speaker 1: free time does not equal oh, we should like put

730
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: some press interviews in here or like, because there's always

731
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: something I can put in there. And the only way

732
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: that I was able to get actual free time is

733
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,720
Speaker 1: to have my turn into Ariel and to have Ursula

734
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: take my voice. I'm calling doctors, I tell us Ursula

735
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: because he's taking my voice from me, and I have

736
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: to figure out I it's the only because otherwise if I,

737
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: let's say I took a break from the road and

738
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: was like, I can't go on the road, like I

739
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 1: pull a Jonah Hill and I go it's giving me anxiety.

740
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this part of my life. There's always

741
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: something else I can do. I could do zoom interviews.

742
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,280
Speaker 1: I could like, but when you can't talk, it really

743
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: is like I think it's gonna make me a better

744
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: guitarist because man, I gotta figure out myself in that

745
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 1: way together together where like area because you can't talk

746
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: anymore and I have a tail? Can I be Sebastian

747
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 1: and you brush your hair with a fork? Yes, you

748
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 1: gotta be Sebastian. Um, I'm starting to Anthony jessel N.

749
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like there's no wiggle room

750
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: for you then with this no voice, there's not like

751
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 1: you have. That's why I love about it. It's like

752
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: literally being thrown in prison and I'm like there's nothing.

753
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: It's like bondage that I talk about where it's like

754
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: you get to be lazy in bed and it's forced laziness,

755
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, one gets to say I'm lazy

756
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: in bed. I'm like, I'm tied up. I can't move.

757
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 1: It's not my fault. Um. Is there any part of

758
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: you know that goes like any part of your ego

759
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 1: or you're like even without a voice, I'm still gonna

760
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: do a special or not as special, but you know,

761
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: like like you're going to figure out something people are

762
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: going to actually do. I know that people are gonna

763
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: steal my idea and have their vocal cords fixed because

764
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: there's so many people with damage. Nearly everyone who sings

765
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 1: as no, no, I'm just talking about you. I'm just

766
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: going to accomplish so much during it. It's going to

767
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,240
Speaker 1: make people go, what this you know, Like when Mulaney

768
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: quit drinking that was I was like, that's his special sauce, Like,

769
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: I need to do what this guy does because he's

770
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: on the next level. And I do believe this is

771
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: going to take me to the next level, not comedically necessarily,

772
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: but it's what my intention for it is to find

773
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: like the artist I want to be after this and

774
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: to shift into like who I want to just find

775
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,479
Speaker 1: who I want to be after this, and I'm gonna

776
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 1: my intention is to pull a Hannibal Burris and reinvent

777
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: myself as another artist and to like start over. I

778
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: really I want to do it. I cannot sing as myself.

779
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a singer songwriter as Nikki Glazer,

780
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: that's a comedian, that is a TV host. I want

781
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: to get like I'm gonna do. It's so fun. I'm

782
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: gonna do like a character name and be because when

783
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:15,919
Speaker 1: I started doing comedy, I was thinking about it because

784
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to write songs right now and I'm like,

785
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: I cannot this is so hard to do. I keep

786
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 1: saying I can't do it. But when I first wrote jokes,

787
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: I just was like, what would Sarah Silverman right? Just

788
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: right for Sarah Silverman? So I need to create right now.

789
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, okay, right for Taylor's swift, right

790
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: for dually, but like if you had to turn in

791
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,439
Speaker 1: the song to them, what would it be? And that's

792
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: an easier way. But I need to invent a character

793
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: for myself that is me, that is and I'm waiting

794
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 1: for what that is and I think it's I just

795
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: the name has to like find me. So I'm my

796
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: intention is like I come out of this and I

797
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 1: know and I'm not gonna reveal. I don't think I'm

798
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: gonna reveal who it is because I want to become

799
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: famous in um in my own right without any help

800
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,760
Speaker 1: from my current career. And I because people will always

801
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: say if you get famous, and you know, Michael Jordan

802
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: maybe not would not have made the baseball team if

803
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: he wasn't Michael Jordan, and they gave him an extra like,

804
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: let's just see what this guy's got, you know, Like what,

805
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 1: oh yeah, they wanted to sell T shirt? Yeah, what

806
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 1: do you mean? He actually probably would, but he'll never

807
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 1: know because he went in as Michael Jordan and people

808
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: can always say, no, they gave him an extra shot

809
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: because he's Michael Jordan's not that I'm comparing myself to him.

810
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I don't want anyone to be able

811
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: to say she's actually not good. I want people to go,

812
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 1: I want people to go, that girl, whatever my you

813
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: know name is, is so good and they go, do

814
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: you know what's Nicky Glazer? Hannibal Burst is doing it

815
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,240
Speaker 1: with his rap career. He has to um. He started

816
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,399
Speaker 1: this new I forget the name of the He's good,

817
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: He's great, amazing. It was like, did you hear the freestyle?

818
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: It was so good. I mean, that guy's a genius

819
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: artist and it makes sense like comedians are. That's what

820
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: Sway was saying there. I think it was Sway, someone

821
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: who was interviewing. I don't think it was say actually,

822
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: but it might have been on the show, was saying

823
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: to Hannibal Comedians are good at being artists and like

824
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: they can bridge that stuff like look at Jamie Fox.

825
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: Did you hear Jamie Foxes Trump? I saw that it

826
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: was that guy is probably the most talented personalized Jamie

827
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: Fox oscar Winner with things throw oh my god when

828
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 1: they go that's how they get you. That's how they

829
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: get you. Because he was like, so, what is your

830
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 1: favorite death Death Row artists? And he was like, I

831
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: see what he did there. That's like the way you

832
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 1: guys got to watch the impression he did of Trump

833
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 1: because it is number one almost deep fake levels of

834
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: like two uh too spot on. You know, someone was

835
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: talking about how deep fakes are not funny. Who was it, Oh,

836
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: we're talking to um. We're talking about Kyle's on again

837
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: doing impressions and how it's really funny the filter he

838
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: puts on his face to do impersonations. If it was

839
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: a deep fake with that voice, it's two looks too

840
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 1: much like them that it doesn't make it funny. You

841
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: need to be a little bit off to parody it.

842
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: And that is what how good Jamie Foxes is is

843
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: that it sounds so much like him. I mean it

844
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 1: is I have keep watching it. I'm like this guy

845
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: is the most talented person ever. And I never even

846
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:33,439
Speaker 1: saw Ray. I mean he didn't either, but uh so

847
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: that reminds me of the best slide of the show,

848
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: maybe Everest, when I go, how do you know what

849
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: your asshole looks like? And you were like, how does

850
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: Stevie Wonder play the piano? Yeah? Does he know what

851
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 1: the keys look like? That was one of the greate Yeah,

852
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: you're gonna always know where your asshole is. Uh what?

853
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: But I think, like, what's crazy about that is obviously

854
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 1: he's a black man, looks nothing like Donald Trump, but

855
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: like some of these character actors can embody and where

856
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, you don't even have to. If you're that,

857
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: you don't even have the fun. The reason I'm good

858
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 1: at comedy is because I wasn't good enough at acting

859
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,719
Speaker 1: or singing to actually do I would have been I

860
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: would have been those things, right, Like those are the

861
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: avenues that you learned about early on to become famous,

862
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: which is what I craved being on TV. And then

863
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: comedy was the low last thing I tried out of

864
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: all those things, and it's stuck. But the truth is

865
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 1: what I didn't know then, and I talked about all

866
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 1: the time. Is like I just didn't work at those

867
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: other things and comedy I just got lucky the first

868
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 1: time and had a good set and so and someone goes,

869
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 1: I mean, you talk about it in one of my

870
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: specials of like all it takes to get a girl

871
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 1: to blow you all the time is to be like,

872
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,280
Speaker 1: you're really good at this, like make her feel special,

873
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: and then you'll do it forever. And that's why everyone

874
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: has to be more heavy handed with compliments when you

875
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 1: are impressed by someone. Because I was talking to, um,

876
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: who was I talking to recently? Oh, the guy that's

877
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: following me around for Esquire. His name is John McDermott.

878
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: He's written UM so much for Esquire. He's a great writer.

879
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: And he goes, I mean he can trace his becoming

880
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: a journalist to one teacher going you could actually do

881
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: this for a living. That the one teacher saying that,

882
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: and like his whole career is based on this one

883
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: person who believed in them. Um, and I just didn't

884
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 1: get that from singing and acting, whereas I got it

885
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: with comedy. But the truth is it it I could

886
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: have come across someone that actually thought I was a

887
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: good actress because I do have potential there, but I

888
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 1: just never got in front of the right person to

889
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: say that, or I would have been an actress because

890
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 1: all that does is push you too then practice enough

891
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: because you know you're good. You have it in your

892
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 1: head that like, I know, no matter how bad I suck,

893
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: that person who I respect thinks I have it, So

894
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 1: I'm unwavering. That's what you need to become great is

895
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 1: an unwavering confidence that I know I'm good somewhere and

896
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,760
Speaker 1: here I'm good. And if you don't have that going

897
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: into something, and you also don't have the uh you

898
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,959
Speaker 1: haven't read a book like the Talent Code that talks

899
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: about like talent is not born, it is practiced you

900
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,439
Speaker 1: you will not get good at things like you need

901
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: that and especially the young, impressionable age. I have it

902
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 1: now for myself. I realize, like I'm having a lot

903
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 1: of epiphanies about being at an age where like I

904
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: have to decide if I'm having kids, and I was like,

905
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: what if I don't have kids, and if if let's say,

906
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: my ideal daughter is like, oh, she's like this Olivia Rodrigo,

907
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: like emotional artist who's like knows herself is like inspiring people,

908
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 1: But like, why can't I give that same like opportunity

909
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: that I would give my daughter to facilitate that to

910
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 1: myself Because I don't have to pay for swim lessons,

911
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 1: I don't have to pay for dental appointments for my kids.

912
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 1: I don't have to I'm I can mother myself. I

913
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: can start over because also, I think a lot of

914
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 1: people don't pursue talents later in life because they have jobs,

915
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: they have kids, they don't have time spend hours it

916
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 1: takes to get good at something. I'm not bragging, but

917
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: I have I don't have kids. I have jobs that

918
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: I can actually walk away from in a responsible way.

919
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: I've saved enough money. That's why Whitney last night was

920
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: like you need to buy Are you gonna buy a house?

921
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 1: And I go, no, I'm going to keep living moderately

922
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 1: because I need to finance my pop star career. Like

923
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: I need to be like Miley Cyrus is well, not

924
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: Miley Cyrus' mom, but like you know these young moms

925
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: of like these young girls that go like We're going

926
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: to move out of Ohio, move to l A and

927
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: fucking take a shot, and I'm gonna bank all my

928
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 1: money on my daughter pursuing her dream. I can do

929
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: that for myself because I would do that for my

930
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 1: daughter no matter what she wanted to pursue. So it's

931
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: a nice way to flip it in my head of

932
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: like if I don't have kids, I can mother myself

933
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 1: and and and start over. There's something about there's something

934
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 1: about like Hannibal doing rap where the analogy the thing

935
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: is is like a lot of rap is comedy. Right,

936
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 1: It's just like one line nerds that are like left

937
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: turned so that it's it's not not too far from comedy.

938
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: It's not so well, that's what you're going freestyling. It's

939
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: the same kind of right. It's like if you go

940
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 1: from comedy to singer songwriter, where it's a heart and

941
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 1: emotional and you're and you have to really it's it's

942
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 1: a bigger leap in a way from going comedy. Well,

943
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: I've already faced the back comedy of being like trashed

944
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: about exactly, and that's why I'm like I gotta kill off.

945
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer, singer like Matt Pond is releasing some songs

946
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: with his new band, The Natural Lines, which they have

947
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: a new song out. I really implore everyone to add

948
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: it to the Spotify because it's my friend. And that's

949
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: the Natural Lines and the new song is the Problem

950
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: is Me. I recorded that song. He wrote that song

951
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: for me to record, and I recorded it, and so

952
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: I know it already. It's such a good song. He

953
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 1: did such a better job with it. Obviously, it's I've

954
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: been playing it NonStop. It's called the Problem is Me.

955
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: I put it on my Instagram story yesterday. But that, um,

956
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: what was gonna say. I he's going to release some

957
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: of the songs. I think St. Lou which is the

958
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: song that was on my UM show, and um this

959
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: other song still not Still Summer, I forget what it

960
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 1: was called Endless Summer. We're gonna release those two on

961
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: a record next to May. And he's getting together all

962
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: this record design and and it said Nicky Glazer with

963
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: the Natural Lines, And I'm like, can you just do

964
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: the Natural Lines featuring Nicki Glazer? Like I don't want

965
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: this is the old me and like she had a

966
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 1: she had a voice. Things are great, the songs are great,

967
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 1: but I gotta I'm gonna reinvent and um and so

968
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: that people so that I can if people go, oh

969
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 1: my god, Nicky Glazers singing, it's embarrassing. I'm gonna go no,

970
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: she's actually Nicki Lazer is not singing. She Nicki Lazard

971
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 1: does comedy. Um, you know, George Funk is singing. I

972
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: don't know even know what my name is gonna be.

973
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: It might be like a boy's name. I honestly, I'm like,

974
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 1: I get to be anyone I want. And it's so

975
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 1: cool because it's also like having a baby. You get

976
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 1: to like name yourself. Like I know this sounds very

977
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: transy um and I mean that in the best way,

978
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 1: but like I get to create a new person. Maybe

979
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 1: that's just what I'm thinking now I'm going to do.

980
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: But I want to be a new person with this.

981
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 1: I'm thinking what like because Garth Brooks obviously Chris Gaines.

982
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: With Chris Gaines, it was a little much because he

983
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:26,240
Speaker 1: went to like straight Hair and it was like he

984
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: he just like, by the way, I love that album.

985
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 1: I listened to it when I had mono and I

986
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: was crying in an attorney house writing poems so like

987
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:36,360
Speaker 1: to but but I'm just trying to do you know

988
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: what Garth Brooks, like, I forget how he did that. Uh, yeah, yeah,

989
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: there was like is that Garth was it? Like? This

990
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 1: is it was Sasha Fears like I'm Beyonce, but this

991
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:51,479
Speaker 1: is my alter ego Ziggy start us, like yeah, yeah,

992
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 1: I believe that's how it was the only thing he

993
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: changed with a straight in his hair and he had

994
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:58,319
Speaker 1: like a little soul pat. I might do wigs like

995
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,919
Speaker 1: I want to do with I want really like I can't.

996
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 1: I don't want to look like myself. I want to

997
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 1: sing um totally, like maybe do like a dead mouse

998
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: thing like in a fucking helmet or something, you know,

999
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 1: like I want. I eventually will take it off one

1000
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: side know who this person is, but I might daft

1001
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 1: punk it of like I don't want me. I want

1002
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: people to go like I want to be. I want

1003
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 1: to disappear into it and I don't want anyone to

1004
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: know it's me. But I also so I probably will

1005
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: end up just being like Hannibal about it. Of like,

1006
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: don't judge this person. She's a new artist. It is

1007
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: me though, you know. But that's the trick is like

1008
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: you gotta create a separate persona. I love picturing you

1009
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: though doing the podcast with the daft punk helmet on.

1010
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,360
Speaker 1: I mean I I basically do that on days or

1011
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: my eyes look like the sunglasses. That is another world.

1012
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 1: That's what That's what I love about Cia. I don't

1013
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 1: know if people know this, but Sia did not put

1014
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 1: on a wig and sing with her back to the

1015
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: camera because she was felt like she was ugly or embarrassed,

1016
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 1: like maybe those things were with those selfestee stuff. She

1017
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 1: didn't want. She wanted to have a normal life where

1018
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: everyone didn't know was her everywhere she went, and so

1019
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 1: she purposely did that to be separate than from the artist.

1020
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 1: Anya said to me recently that Sharon Stone was always

1021
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: like when people talk about Sharon Stone and the tabloids,

1022
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 1: that's not me. I'm a different person. Um, she didn't

1023
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:29,359
Speaker 1: have to give herself a different name, even though Sharon

1024
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: Stone is an amazing, you know, pseudonym. But I gotta

1025
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 1: come up with a new name, which who knows if

1026
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 1: it's going to be like Kesha, or it's gonna be

1027
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,879
Speaker 1: like two names, or it's gonna be I don't Cincinnati, sue, uh,

1028
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 1: Andrew's frozen again. But we'll be right back with fan Trax. Alright,

1029
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: we're back. Let's get to fan Trax. Hell. Yes, Let's

1030
00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 1: hear what the bussies have to say this week. So

1031
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 1: many good voice nails. Let's start off with Alyssa, Hey, Nikk.

1032
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: You know and Andrew, I love you all, best of

1033
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: your life. Since the beginning of Blah Blah blah, um, so,

1034
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: I working at restaurant and I was listening to The

1035
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: Horse Side with Blend Gleab episode about how, um, sometimes

1036
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: the customer is not always right and everything, and I

1037
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 1: just want everyone to know that. Like what we do

1038
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 1: in my restaurant to get through it is we kind

1039
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,839
Speaker 1: of poke fun to the customers without them knowing. Um.

1040
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: We have this thing called LHC and that means liquor

1041
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 1: hunter like his cock, and that means going above and beyond,

1042
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 1: but like kind of being santastic about it. So it's like,

1043
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, I'd love to get you an

1044
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 1: extra side of ranch apps, so fucking lutely should like that. Um.

1045
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: And then we also do this thing where when people leave,

1046
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: instead of saying take care, we say dick hare and

1047
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: it kind of sounds the same, and it's just and

1048
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: keep things light because honestly, the restaurant industry stocks right

1049
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: now in yeah for a reason. We love our jobs

1050
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 1: and it's fun. It's great money out there to restaurants.

1051
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: I love you all and love you grabbit jack rabbit

1052
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: um love that. Yeah. I really implore people, if you

1053
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: got expendable cash and you like dining out, get out there.

1054
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 1: Be nice to your weight staff, tip a lot um,

1055
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 1: help them out because it's I think it is a

1056
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 1: it's a struggle out there right now in customer service,

1057
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 1: entitled people. It's just something's changing culturally where people are

1058
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 1: just were are so mean. But I love these little

1059
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: tricks the out Wait, what is it? Lick lick h

1060
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 1: LHC can stop luy his coke? No, don't spit in

1061
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,760
Speaker 1: your people, but you have to get you another ranch.

1062
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so funny. Yes, you're just being so

1063
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,439
Speaker 1: nice that they kind of know you hate them. That's good.

1064
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 1: I used to say, Um, you could say to someone,

1065
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 1: have a good one, and they don't know that you

1066
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 1: mean death. Like to you it can mean death. You know,

1067
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 1: like you can make it for you. They don't know

1068
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: you sound like you're being nice, have a good one,

1069
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 1: or like I just love, I just love like try

1070
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: later you said, hitch, take care dig hair. I kind

1071
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 1: of see how But I can see people in their

1072
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: car being like day. It was like that when I

1073
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: went to six Flags with my dad once when we

1074
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 1: were kids and the guy goes, all right, we've got

1075
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,799
Speaker 1: to the ticket counter or whenever. He goes all right,

1076
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: get your ass in the park. Um, and my dad

1077
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: goes what and he goes, pet dress in the park.

1078
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: My dad goes, or did you say get your ass?

1079
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:44,439
Speaker 1: And he goes no, I said, welcome to Jurassic Park.

1080
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: It was like because it was raining outside and he

1081
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: was like making a joke that it was like really

1082
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 1: ominous weather, and um we left. We loved it because

1083
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 1: it was were yawning and it was like that guy

1084
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 1: just said get your ass in the park. It was

1085
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 1: so fun. I love. We had a moment on these

1086
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 1: where this girl would come around and she had a

1087
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: she goes silver, silver in the glass, silver in the glass,

1088
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: and we're like silver and and we're all like some

1089
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 1: souvenir glass but like the does things with your family,

1090
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: you go nuts like it was like, um. My favorite

1091
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: one of those is in Amy's movie Snatched with Goldie

1092
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: Hawn where they check into this hotel and the person

1093
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: comes up to them with like a little these little

1094
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: glasses of like smoothie, and he goes welcome, Welcome, and

1095
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: she's like, whail come, and it looks like and he's

1096
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 1: like welcome and she's like, oh no. She takes a

1097
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 1: set and it's like he goes welcome and she's like,

1098
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: it's like it's like this Hawaiian resort and she thinks

1099
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 1: it's whalcome. That was one of my favorite ones. VENTI

1100
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:59,720
Speaker 1: please blow all right. Next, fan trax are just saying

1101
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: we're okay, Andrew and Noah, this is your bestie Stephanie

1102
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: from San Francisco. You know where Andrew had to get

1103
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,280
Speaker 1: a new pair of shoes right before walking on this set.

1104
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 1: I actually watched y'all show on YouTube, and after I

1105
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: watched the current show, YouTube will just randomly place on

1106
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 1: an older episode and it re um played episode one sixty,

1107
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 1: which is without You Maria, and she is talking about

1108
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 1: a bikini being lost in New Jersey through USPS and

1109
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: she wasn't going to have it from Mexico. And I

1110
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: just now all of a sudden need um insight. I

1111
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: need the the follow through, I need the end of

1112
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: the story. I need I need the plane land and

1113
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 1: what happened to bikini. I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight

1114
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: if if I don't find out was was on your

1115
00:57:55,040 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 1: Mari naked? Was she able to resurface in her brand

1116
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: new Bikinian Mexico. I think this is so much proud

1117
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: to be a bestie um Dopeyka and jack anson off

1118
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: Um love it. Jack anson Off Um. This is a

1119
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 1: new kind of fan because I like where people because

1120
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: there are a lot of loose ends on the show.

1121
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: If you need some kind of closure, please ask for

1122
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: it and we'll give it to the closure here. I

1123
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: think Noah has the answer. So I reached out to

1124
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: Annya this morning and she goes, yes, I got it

1125
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 1: back eight months later. Now I'm selling it on eBay.

1126
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 1: It's brand new, extra small, It's been on sale for months,

1127
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: no bites. We gotta get her name on eBay so

1128
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: people can check it out. And by the way, she

1129
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,919
Speaker 1: did have a bikini in the Hampton's that is so

1130
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 1: cute and perfect, and I believe it's from the same

1131
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: company because it was Italian, so maybe she got an

1132
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: extra but it is very cute. So um, yeah, try

1133
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 1: to find that. I don't know the brand or anything,

1134
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 1: but that eight month later, Jesus Christ. Um, glad we'd

1135
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:06,880
Speaker 1: glad we tied up that string bikini. Um great, great

1136
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: frand tracks next up. All right, here's a story from Megan. Hey, Nikki,

1137
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: Andrew and Noah. UM, my name is Megan, and I

1138
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 1: was calling because a few weeks ago you had talked

1139
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 1: about the awkwardness of like watching a movie where the

1140
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 1: same situation is happening and it's awkward between the people watching. Um.

1141
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 1: In college, our friend's dog had just died, so we

1142
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 1: knew going into pet cemetery that it was going to

1143
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 1: be a little weird, but we kind of thought we'd

1144
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: like laugh my way through it. Um. We didn't know

1145
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: that in the movie they get burned alive. Um, and

1146
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 1: her father had been burned alive and had died that way.

1147
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: And instead of turning it off and being mature and

1148
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 1: looking at her and saying, oh my god, I'm so sorry,

1149
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:57,640
Speaker 1: we were all in our early twenties. Week just watched

1150
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: the whole thing and then like silently filed out of

1151
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 1: the appointment and it was never mentioned. And I still

1152
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,400
Speaker 1: am mortified, but that happened. We never talked about it

1153
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: with her. God so sad. So she and her brother died.

1154
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 1: Her brother was burned alive, but as right like she

1155
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 1: left her dog. It was already awkward. That was like,

1156
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 1: oh the dog, but they kind of knew going into

1157
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: into it. They just didn't know about that. And then

1158
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: she also had this other tragic thing happened in her

1159
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: life that is, oh, okay, wait, there's a little bit left.

1160
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 1: And then the second thing is is in the last episode,

1161
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: you were doing your impressions if everyone, and it clicked

1162
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: with me that you identify with a bird because you

1163
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:46,439
Speaker 1: are like a bird that that mocks people a para keyt.

1164
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 1: I thought they are or a parent. So they noticed that.

1165
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 1: I didn't know if you had made the connection of

1166
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: your impersonations. Um, that's all. I got such a good

1167
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,479
Speaker 1: point because I'm like a bird. Because I could only

1168
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: do two second impressions. It's like birds don't really like

1169
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 1: go places with their questions. They just do like a

1170
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: couple of words. Yeah, that's why. Okay, I really like

1171
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 1: that spin. I can't get over the burning. Oh my god,

1172
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 1: that sucks so much. It's so sad, And I mean

1173
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,800
Speaker 1: I've had things where it's like, you know, when I

1174
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 1: was antorectic, I remember just always just being so aware

1175
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,919
Speaker 1: of watching anything that might make someone feel awkward about

1176
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm struggling with this thing. Like I

1177
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:34,200
Speaker 1: don't want to watch something where someone gets called out

1178
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: for being intorectic, because then my whole family is going

1179
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: to be like it's the elephant in the room, like,

1180
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:42,040
Speaker 1: you know, being aware of things about me that like, yeah,

1181
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:44,479
Speaker 1: if I lost my brother in up fire, I would

1182
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: be so cautious not about my own like trauma, but

1183
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 1: like of making of people feeling sorry for me watching things.

1184
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Like worry about that people are

1185
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh my god, this is so awgward

1186
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 1: for Nikki and being like I think that's maybe part

1187
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 1: of my personalities just to take care of other people's

1188
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: feelings about my own trauma instead of my own because

1189
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 1: it's easier that way. Um, next time, like maybe do

1190
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 1: look who's talking or something? To think the movie choice,

1191
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: whoever chose the movie the next time, choose Marley and

1192
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 1: me just go right there. Well, he's just sticking with

1193
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 1: the dog theme and you're not risking any like complete

1194
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:28,880
Speaker 1: family tragedies popping up. Alright, final thought, let's go to

1195
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 1: another Okay, this one comes from Molly. You guys, I

1196
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:40,479
Speaker 1: am listening to episode Trish Training Bro, and you guys

1197
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,479
Speaker 1: are talking about in hairs and nipple hairs and how

1198
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: sorry to bring this up again, Noah, but you had

1199
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 1: to shave the morning after like a hook up to

1200
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 1: like control the great hair. And I feel so seen.

1201
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 1: I seriously have been so insecure about like I get

1202
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 1: like these like hairs, like I guess it's basically like

1203
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 1: a sidebird, and they grow so fast and it's so

1204
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 1: embarrassing and it makes me feel like a gross nam

1205
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 1: And now I know that like Hala and Nikki and

1206
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 1: Noah like all the same thing. And I just I

1207
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:16,960
Speaker 1: should have known this sooner. But I truly feel so

1208
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 1: zeen and I just had to call in and tell

1209
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 1: you guys, I'm so glad, oh my god, because honestly,

1210
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 1: there are these things that we keep we think other

1211
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: people don't have, even though we have been exposed to

1212
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: so many people admitting their truths that you think there's

1213
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 1: still things about you that other people don't have, but

1214
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 1: you just keep whatever you got going there is someone

1215
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 1: that has it. I'm so glad you felt seen by that.

1216
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 1: I was just thinking of like another thing that you

1217
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: pointed out that's like such like an embarrassing thing, but

1218
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 1: it happens to just about every woman. And that's like

1219
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:56,479
Speaker 1: the little joint uh toilet paper and our vaginas. Yes,

1220
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: that was a real big like that was learning seeing

1221
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 1: seeing those joints and realizing other women had them, and

1222
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 1: those joints, I was never been in this bathroom before,

1223
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: so those have to be from another woman, so other

1224
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: like it was a it was a moment for me

1225
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,920
Speaker 1: in a stall when I saw those of like I

1226
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: know that this isn't just me. I don't think I

1227
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 1: put in the special but like even taking baths with

1228
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 1: my sister, like my vagina just sucks up toilet paper.

1229
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 1: I remember as being a kid in the bathroom my

1230
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: sister and having to skim the top of the water

1231
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:27,320
Speaker 1: to like collect the toilet paper that I had accumulated

1232
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 1: in my vagina that would be released in the bath.

1233
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 1: As a child, even my vagina was like just swiffering debris, insane,

1234
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 1: Like I worked at like vagina to clean up the ocean,

1235
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 1: like go reverse. I love the idea too of like

1236
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: thank God for the Internet and shows like ours. We're

1237
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 1: very honest about our like people do in the sixties

1238
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 1: everything you were just a bearded woman in the circus

1239
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 1: like back in the day, if you embraced it. Otherwise

1240
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:04,600
Speaker 1: you just didn't leave the house. But there's still things,

1241
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 1: there's I gotta I gotta think there's something that I

1242
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 1: even me that I am struggling with. I'm sure there's

1243
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 1: something that I can't even go to in my head

1244
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 1: because it is so in the recesses of like I

1245
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:17,960
Speaker 1: will never tell anyone that that. Other people listening right

1246
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 1: now you struggle with it too, thinking no one else

1247
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 1: does I know there's something that is My goal in

1248
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 1: life is to get all of those things out of

1249
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,600
Speaker 1: me and like be able to admit them freely, to

1250
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 1: free up any kind of like, you know, just even

1251
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 1: talking about um, it was so nice. I ran into

1252
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: a bestie. Maybe it was on a beustie. Yesterday I

1253
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 1: taped a filmed TV show and the woman that was

1254
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 1: like my onset, you know, contact was like I saw

1255
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 1: I just saw you last night at Supernova. Your pedophilia

1256
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,960
Speaker 1: bit was so fucking good. I never thought I'd tell

1257
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,760
Speaker 1: someone that, but I love your pedophile jokes, and I

1258
01:05:55,760 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: I think that is where I'm kind of getting into it.

1259
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 1: Of like I I I've had to be like, wait,

1260
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: what if I am a pedophile? Like you have to

1261
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 1: ask yourself that question at some point of like what

1262
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 1: if I'm a murderer, or like you know, we all

1263
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 1: have these dark thoughts of like, oh my god, I

1264
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 1: just thought of pushing that person in front of traffic,

1265
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:14,000
Speaker 1: like in my psychopath or like I think a lot

1266
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 1: of times guys, I think I've heard guys admit when

1267
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: it used to be a thing that carried more shame

1268
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 1: even though it still does uh for many people about

1269
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 1: being gay that men have to go like am I gay?

1270
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 1: Like and give it a real serious thought of like

1271
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 1: do I even want to explore that? Because if I

1272
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: let that out, is it going to make me gay?

1273
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 1: And I think that you know my joke, I go,

1274
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 1: you know, I'm talking about my nephew wanting to shower

1275
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: with me and saying to him like or saying to

1276
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 1: my sister like, no he can't, because what if I

1277
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 1: molest him? And like saying that puts it out there

1278
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 1: that like I've questioned, like like it could it be

1279
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,960
Speaker 1: in me? And that is something I would never have

1280
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:56,160
Speaker 1: admitted to even thinking before because it might mean that

1281
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 1: I am if I've had that thought, but now I

1282
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 1: know intrusive thoughts like that. If anything, the fact that

1283
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm worried about it means I'm not, And the fact

1284
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 1: and I also know I'm not because you know, you're

1285
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,960
Speaker 1: a pedophile by the time you're thirteen, like by the

1286
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,480
Speaker 1: time you've reached puberty. If you're not really attracted to

1287
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 1: kids by then, you're not gonna be. So if anyone

1288
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 1: out there is ever worried about that, I've looked into

1289
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 1: it because I'm like, because I always just reason no

1290
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:24,000
Speaker 1: one chooses to be a pedophile, So I don't want

1291
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,680
Speaker 1: that to happen to me, you know, like what if

1292
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:27,760
Speaker 1: you bump your head? Like what if no one knows

1293
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:30,440
Speaker 1: the root cause of it? But I do know that,

1294
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:32,920
Speaker 1: you know, if you are the unfortunate person to be

1295
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 1: attracted to children, and that's part of your brain fuck.

1296
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:39,480
Speaker 1: We talked about it before, but it's not your fault.

1297
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 1: But it is up to you what you do with it,

1298
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: which I hope isn't like you know, are proactive and

1299
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,960
Speaker 1: making sure you do not hurt anyone with it, But um,

1300
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 1: no one chooses that. And I think that there is

1301
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:53,080
Speaker 1: a part of me that was always like what if,

1302
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,440
Speaker 1: like I just got lucky that I'm not a murderer

1303
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 1: or not I'm not homicidal, or I'm not a psychopath,

1304
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:01,800
Speaker 1: Like you don't get to choose your brain. But I

1305
01:08:01,880 --> 01:08:03,440
Speaker 1: think that that was something that for a while, I

1306
01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:06,480
Speaker 1: was scared to admit that I even thought like, am

1307
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 1: I could I be this? Because it's I'm so fascinated

1308
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 1: by it that And then now I have a whole

1309
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:15,240
Speaker 1: little bit where it's like people kind of go, why

1310
01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:17,599
Speaker 1: she's so into pedophilia and I've talked about it before

1311
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,519
Speaker 1: in the show, but it's like, well, girls are into

1312
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:23,519
Speaker 1: murder podcasts and you don't go, she's a murderer. It's like, no,

1313
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm just you're disgusting for like thinking it or like it.

1314
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: I'm just my dude, joke is I'm a pederisto. You

1315
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 1: know how they call like the girls, people that are

1316
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:36,520
Speaker 1: fans of my favorite murder podcasts are called like murderistas.

1317
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to make it like a cute thing

1318
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:43,120
Speaker 1: of like I just like, yeah, um, I guess I

1319
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: gotta work on that. But it was nice. There's stuff

1320
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,200
Speaker 1: like that that I even admitting on stage that I

1321
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,360
Speaker 1: was the other woman in a relationship. And I pursued

1322
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:52,439
Speaker 1: a guy that had a girlfriend. That was something that

1323
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:54,040
Speaker 1: I go, I'm gonna have to take this one to

1324
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,240
Speaker 1: the grave because no one's going to empathize with this.

1325
01:08:56,400 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 1: I'm a bad person. But even that, like, I know

1326
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 1: I'm not alone because I did the math on it.

1327
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, if everyone says they've been cheated on, there's

1328
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,200
Speaker 1: a lot more women that are the other woman on

1329
01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 1: the other side of this, then I'm hearing about. I mean,

1330
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 1: for everyone that's cheated on, there's another woman. But why

1331
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 1: am I only hearing about women being cheated on? Why

1332
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,280
Speaker 1: is no one talking about being another woman? It's because

1333
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: no one is admitting it because it's embarrassing and that

1334
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 1: you'll get villainized. But it's just as there's just as

1335
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:24,960
Speaker 1: many women out there. My joke is is it just

1336
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:27,840
Speaker 1: me and Leon Rhymes fucking your boyfriends? And the funny

1337
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: part is I saw Leon Rhymes on a flight recently

1338
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,479
Speaker 1: and I wanted to tell her about the joke and

1339
01:09:32,520 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 1: be like, oh, you're mentioned my joke, But I you know,

1340
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,920
Speaker 1: I don't think we're there yet because I don't know

1341
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,040
Speaker 1: her personally, and so I shouldn't probably comment on the

1342
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,200
Speaker 1: fact that she's in a relationship with someone who was

1343
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:45,680
Speaker 1: in a relationship. I feel like, I feel like if

1344
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:48,680
Speaker 1: you're looking back at it, there's like a different, like

1345
01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 1: a feeling of like I was the other person. I

1346
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:55,280
Speaker 1: acknowledge it. I'm coming clean about it. I don't know.

1347
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,080
Speaker 1: If I wanted to trick is to be able to

1348
01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:59,559
Speaker 1: do it in the moment, because then you can stop

1349
01:09:59,560 --> 01:10:01,519
Speaker 1: the behave you're like, if you get on. I mean,

1350
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 1: that's the first step in a program. Stuff is like

1351
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,760
Speaker 1: I'm an alcoholic admitting that you currently are doing a

1352
01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 1: bad thing. That is where you want to get to

1353
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 1: because the sooner you can address it, the sooner you

1354
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:13,080
Speaker 1: can go well, this is not who I want to be.

1355
01:10:13,640 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 1: But it takes that lag. For me. It took a

1356
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,360
Speaker 1: year and a half before I couldmit on stage after

1357
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:20,720
Speaker 1: I pursued a guy with a girlfriend that I did

1358
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:23,200
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't even reference it on a podcast, you know,

1359
01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 1: because I didn't. I was so ashamed of it. And

1360
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:32,240
Speaker 1: now because I was gonna try to make a new

1361
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:37,880
Speaker 1: acronym of N d A, I think it's hand or whatever.

1362
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:45,880
Speaker 1: Uh Nikki is doing adultery um, but I uh, and

1363
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:47,760
Speaker 1: it is. I'm only able to talk about it not

1364
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:49,880
Speaker 1: because I got space from it, which is maybe part

1365
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:53,040
Speaker 1: of it, but because I'm not ashamed about it because

1366
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:54,600
Speaker 1: I did. I thought about it enough, and I go,

1367
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 1: I'm not a bad person because this happened. I made

1368
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,360
Speaker 1: a mistake. I didn't do something that I'm proud of.

1369
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:03,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that way anymore, but I'm not.

1370
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:07,479
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed of it. I accepted about myself as

1371
01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:08,880
Speaker 1: a thing that I did that I don't want to

1372
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:12,080
Speaker 1: do again. There's millions of other people that are flawed

1373
01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:16,400
Speaker 1: in the same exact way the other woman, and everyone

1374
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,160
Speaker 1: is making you feel bad about it in your life

1375
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,320
Speaker 1: and there's no there's nothing for you to listen. I mean,

1376
01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:21,880
Speaker 1: this is a part of what I want to do,

1377
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 1: is like there's no songs. When I was going through

1378
01:11:25,439 --> 01:11:26,840
Speaker 1: it and I was like pining for a guy with

1379
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:30,120
Speaker 1: a girlfriend and I wanted someone to have a little

1380
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: bit of empathy for my situation, there's one fucking song

1381
01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 1: for you. There's it's Alicit Affairs by Taylor Swift. It's

1382
01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:39,000
Speaker 1: the only song written from the perspective that I could

1383
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:41,960
Speaker 1: find of the perspective of the woman who knew the

1384
01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:44,320
Speaker 1: guy had a girlfriend and still went after him, and

1385
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:47,440
Speaker 1: it actually has some empathy for her, but it's otherwise.

1386
01:11:47,479 --> 01:11:49,800
Speaker 1: Most songs are like bitch, you still took my man,

1387
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,320
Speaker 1: fuck you, or like fuck you for cheating on me,

1388
01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:54,120
Speaker 1: piece of sh it. It's always written from that woman's

1389
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 1: perspective that got hurt by that woman, which is a

1390
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:59,880
Speaker 1: valid place to be as well, not invalidating that anger,

1391
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:02,719
Speaker 1: although I do think it's misplaced on the girl often

1392
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,080
Speaker 1: because you have to if you stay with the guy

1393
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:07,920
Speaker 1: that cheats on you, you have to make the woman

1394
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:10,840
Speaker 1: who she's gotten the village because you couldn't stay with

1395
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:13,920
Speaker 1: the guy otherwise. Trying to just tell you, I'll tell

1396
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,960
Speaker 1: you now. There's this woman. I gotta send you the article.

1397
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:20,599
Speaker 1: She put up a TikTok. All these women were talking

1398
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:24,719
Speaker 1: about her in her in her TikTok. Right, she finds

1399
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:28,200
Speaker 1: the women on Instagram, sees their husbands and starts d

1400
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 1: m N their husbands, and then shows the women that

1401
01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 1: we're talking about them in the comments, the receipts of

1402
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:38,040
Speaker 1: how the husband wants to cheat on them. Oh boy,

1403
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,439
Speaker 1: you I don't know how I didn't send it to you.

1404
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:44,320
Speaker 1: I was like, this is this is fucking juicy. I'm sorry,

1405
01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:51,719
Speaker 1: as fucking toxic and unhinged as that is. She made

1406
01:12:51,840 --> 01:12:58,760
Speaker 1: videos of it, talking to reading the receipts. It's it's

1407
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:05,320
Speaker 1: so it's so good and so bad. I don't I'm

1408
01:13:05,640 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: glad that I wouldn't do that, But man, I like

1409
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:10,599
Speaker 1: that that's out there, because what a way to show

1410
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:14,639
Speaker 1: women like, fuck you, you are you the little pedestal

1411
01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:17,439
Speaker 1: making fun of me, judging me, and you think your

1412
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:19,160
Speaker 1: life is perfect. That's what I want to do to

1413
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,040
Speaker 1: all these people that ever comment about celebrities, including my

1414
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,720
Speaker 1: fucking self. Whenever I have an opinion about someone, I

1415
01:13:24,760 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 1: want to go, who the fuck do you think you

1416
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:30,679
Speaker 1: are having any opinion about Olivia Wilde and Harry Style's

1417
01:13:30,720 --> 01:13:33,519
Speaker 1: relationship when you don't fucking know anything and you think

1418
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:36,400
Speaker 1: you're perfect. No one is perfect enough to judge anyone,

1419
01:13:36,439 --> 01:13:38,720
Speaker 1: and this woman, man, you got to send that to me.

1420
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 1: That's good people post it on our story, but that

1421
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:45,760
Speaker 1: is that's diabolical. Thank you guys so much for your

1422
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:49,080
Speaker 1: fan taxes, great ones. Today, um we have one more

1423
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:51,960
Speaker 1: week of shows before I go on vocal rest. Um.

1424
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,680
Speaker 1: Thank you for all your kind words this week when

1425
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:55,720
Speaker 1: I was depressed, we got through it. Thank you to

1426
01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:59,160
Speaker 1: Andrew and Noah for putting up with me or accepting

1427
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,880
Speaker 1: me as hell that um, I really appreciate it. You

1428
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:06,439
Speaker 1: guys are the best, and love all the fans all

1429
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:09,120
Speaker 1: um the best ties and I'm gonna be in Vegas,

1430
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:12,680
Speaker 1: Um Vegas, that is how you say it tomorrow night

1431
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:15,800
Speaker 1: at the Virgin Hotel scene. If you want to just

1432
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:17,799
Speaker 1: do a last minute trip to Vegas, look at flights,

1433
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:20,400
Speaker 1: come see me, meet and greets afterwards. If you want

1434
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:22,080
Speaker 1: to get a meet and greet, just um DM me

1435
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:24,680
Speaker 1: all caps important and I'll see it and I'll give

1436
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,160
Speaker 1: you free meet and great if you buy tickets to

1437
01:14:26,160 --> 01:14:29,320
Speaker 1: come see me in Vegas at the Virgin Hotel Theater

1438
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:33,679
Speaker 1: with Benedict Pelosi and uh on your Marina. So that'll

1439
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:37,040
Speaker 1: be tomorrow my last show before I become an alter ego.

1440
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:39,479
Speaker 1: And if you have an ideas for my alter ego name,

1441
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:42,480
Speaker 1: please send it my way as well. Don't Peka and

1442
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: Virgin place and your voice will be new Virgin Place

1443
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 1: and poring from a Virgin place, born again