1 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. It's 2 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: your celebrity mentor show Burke, and today I'm sitting down 3 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: with an amazing woman who I actually recently met when 4 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: we were all up in my hometown of San Francisco 5 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: for a fun girls night out event. She's the co 6 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: host of the podcast An Unlikely Affair with her ex 7 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 1: husband's ex fiance let me say that again, with her 8 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: ex husband's ex fiance. So yeah, we're going to talk 9 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: all about it. And you also know her, of course 10 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: from her roles in Ray Donovan and the Netflix show You. 11 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: She's in her chapter two just like the rest of us. 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: It's Amber Childers. 13 00:00:58,680 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 2: Hi, how are you? 14 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: How are you good? 15 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 2: You look still pretty? 16 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: Thank you? Okay. So, I have been on a binge 17 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: listening to your podcast with Lalla and Unlikely Affair, and 18 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: it's just captivating. It is relatable, it's emotional, it's honest, 19 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: and I appreciate your candor really with everything, and it's 20 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: so helpful for just I'm sure everyone can relate to 21 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: a little bit of your guys story, you know. So, 22 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: do you want to tell my audience what it is 23 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: and how it came about? Your podcast? 24 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I'll make it as short as possible 25 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 2: because it's a very long story. 26 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 1: But I. 27 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: Was married, two kids, figured out that there was an 28 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 2: affair going on, kind of didn't say anything. This is 29 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: not like my first rodeo with this kind of situation. 30 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 2: So I was a little unsure because you know, I 31 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 2: was just you get smart, and I think any for 32 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 2: anyone out there that has been through through this, you 33 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: have this instinct, especially when you become a mother, it 34 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 2: gets a little bit stronger. And so I just set 35 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 2: back and it all happened, and it all came out, 36 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: and it was all being played on vander Pump Rules. 37 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 2: And at the time I didn't watch vander Pump. Well 38 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 2: I still don't watch vander Pump, so I actually have all. Yeah, 39 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 2: I had just seen like little clips and then next thing, 40 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 2: you know, my marriage, you know, imploded and they're together 41 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 2: and Lala and I obviously did not get along. I 42 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: was devastated and heartbroken and very confused, and you know, 43 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 2: probably in a lot of self pity, like how come 44 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 2: he didn't love me? And you know, you try to 45 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 2: be the perfect wife, you try to be the perfect 46 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 2: mother you you know you have how can someone blow 47 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: up such a beautiful life. Our kids were healthy, you know, 48 00:02:55,560 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 2: like it was very I was very confused, and I 49 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: was really lost, and I had hit rock bottom. I 50 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: think for me, that was like one of I think 51 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 2: we have a few rock bottoms in life, and that 52 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 2: was probably my first big one where I'll never forget. 53 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 2: I literally could not eat, and I don't understand. I 54 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 2: love food, and I'm like, how can anyone not eat? 55 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: Like they're so sick they can't eat. And that was 56 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 2: the first time where I had my sister and my 57 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 2: ex mother in law actually out in LA at the time, 58 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 2: and they were making me drink ensure because I had lost, 59 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 2: Like I mean, any catastrophic thing in life, you drop 60 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 2: weight obviously very quickly, and next thing, you know, I, 61 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: you know, just doing the best I can to move on. 62 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 2: I get into another relationship very quickly because I don't 63 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 2: know up from down, and I'm just like running into 64 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 2: another man's arms. Going anything looked better than what I had. 65 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 2: Trying to co parent was a disaster. Dealing with Lala 66 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 2: at the time was a disaster, and we were told 67 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 2: a very different story to one another. And then somewhere 68 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 2: along the way, I really try to make an effort like, Okay, 69 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: now they're engaged, they're gonna get married. I need just 70 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 2: to find a way to forgive and move past or 71 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 2: if I'm not going to forgive, if I choose not 72 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 2: to forgive, then I just need to move forward, right, 73 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 2: We don't need to get stuck. And I just kept 74 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: hearing like, you're drinking poison expecting the other person to 75 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 2: die and it's not happening. So I kind of surrendered 76 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:35,119 Speaker 2: to that. And Lala and I had attempted a few 77 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 2: times to become friends. We definitely weren't in the place 78 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 2: to actually like make that happen. I appreciate us really, 79 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 2: you know, trying. And then ultimately that relationship ended very quickly, 80 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 2: and I'll never forget. I always told them, I said, 81 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 2: you got away with me, like meaning I let you 82 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 2: go in a very quiet, it like fine kind of way. 83 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 2: If you cheat on her, if you mess with her, 84 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 2: if she will come for the jugular. And that's exactly 85 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 2: what she did, and it is what it is. And 86 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 2: so over time, I got a phone call randomly one 87 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 2: day when I was at home and she had called 88 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 2: to make amends. And I think it was a moment 89 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 2: that I had. I had been waiting for for a 90 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 2: long time from her. I never really expected that I 91 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 2: was going to get one, so I was a little 92 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 2: shocked when she did call. And then from there we 93 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 2: just decided to start repairing the relationship. I had my 94 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 2: two girls, she had ocean, and we knew we were 95 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 2: going to be in each other's lives, and it's like, 96 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 2: let's just start fresh. And I'm so grateful that she 97 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 2: had the courage and the strength to make that call 98 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 2: because I wasn't making it right right. I had attempted 99 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 2: so many times to to be friendly with her, to 100 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 2: be cordial with her. You know, we we had you know, birthdays. 101 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: It's just like the classic like you know, everyone's trying 102 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 2: to get along for the kids and sometimes personalities they 103 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: just clashed at the at the time. 104 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: Right, And what did that repair, I guess look like 105 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: because first of all, you guys were not friends prior 106 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,919 Speaker 1: to this love. 107 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 2: Triangle, right, no. 108 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: At all, So you guys you had no idea of 109 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: each other. And then well, I just want to take 110 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: it back just really quick. How did you find out 111 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: so mainly through social media? Wow? 112 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 2: Okay, you know I'm a little investigator. I should have 113 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 2: been in the FBI or the same. This girl c like, 114 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: it is my dream to go undercover, and if I 115 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 2: can't do it in my personal life, then I'm going 116 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 2: to find that role where I could go uncover and 117 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 2: like really just dig my teeth into a good, juicy 118 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 2: role with you. You you just know again like back 119 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 2: to your instincts, has had this feeling. I would, you know, 120 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 2: he was going on a work trip. I would see 121 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 2: who was kind of like in Miami at the time, 122 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 2: and I just I just caught on very quickly. I 123 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 2: knew he had mentioned her before, right, he was friends 124 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 2: with her. She was interested in doing film and television. 125 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: You know. 126 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 2: It's a classic like Hollywood bullshit story of the producer 127 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 2: and the actress and the you know, it's like it's 128 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 2: like such a classic tale. Yeah, and and so I 129 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: just sat with it because I didn't know exactly how 130 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 2: I wanted to approach it. I needed to get smart, 131 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 2: and it was really hard because I had two young kids. 132 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 2: But he was also gone a lot. He was he 133 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 2: was always filming a movie and somewhere you know, so 134 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: he says, right, right, right, he was just like always working, 135 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 2: and you know what, I was just like, okay, Like 136 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 2: I was busy trying to manage two very small kids, 137 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 2: a house, trying to figure out how am I going 138 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: to work and have a career as an actor, And 139 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 2: so I didn't really I didn't bother me that he 140 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 2: was gone so much. You know, the house was very peaceful. 141 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: Right, Oh right, I'm sure. Well when you found out 142 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: did that? Were you you just that was it? Or 143 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: did you want to work on the marriage? Like? Were 144 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: you willing to give him another chance or the marriage 145 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: another chance? You know? 146 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: I had given him a lot of chances. 147 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: So this wasn't the first time. It wasn't the first okay, 148 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 1: got it, got it. 149 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 2: I don't come from a divorce family, so for me, 150 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 2: divorce was not in my vocabulary at that time. I 151 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: didn't know how to operate. And there was a lot 152 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 2: of things that I wasn't sharing with my family. There 153 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 2: was a lot of shame, There was a lot of guilt. 154 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: I didn't want to have a failed marriage, and I 155 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 2: didn't want to I didn't want to bring my family up, 156 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: you know. And I get emotional when I think about 157 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,959 Speaker 2: it because I think about my kids, and you stay 158 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,599 Speaker 2: for the kids, right, And I think a lot of 159 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 2: people in this position can probably relate. You know, you 160 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 2: try to fight because you want to. You want to 161 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 2: make your family work, you want to make the marriage work. 162 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,839 Speaker 2: You want someone to love you so bad, But sometimes 163 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 2: love is not enough, right. You can't make someone stop 164 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 2: cheating on you, you can't make someone choose you. And 165 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 2: so I decided to choose myself. I decided that I 166 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 2: needed to leave to you know, try to co parent 167 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 2: with this person in two separate homes. And that's exactly 168 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,199 Speaker 2: what I told my kids, is that, you know, sometimes 169 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 2: two homes are better than one, and that is the truth. 170 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: Some people get together and it's you know, I know 171 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 2: that I was meant to be with my ex husband 172 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 2: to have my two daughters, and that's it. And I 173 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 2: and I really have to trust that the universe has 174 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 2: my back. I don't regret anything. I don't regret marrying him. 175 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 2: I don't regret any decision that or experience that we 176 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 2: had together because it's shaped me into the woman that 177 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 2: I am today. 178 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing your story. It's so relatable. 179 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: Even though I don't have kids, I can relate to 180 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: parts of your story for sure, And man, it's hard. 181 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 1: And then did the dating life now it must be uh. 182 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: I don't know what it is like for you, but 183 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: for me, it's just non existent. I find it a 184 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 1: lot more peaceful this way for now. 185 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 2: My goodness, dating is tough. We live it is. It 186 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 2: is tough. I literally just posted. 187 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: I can't even try. It's so overwhelming, like I just 188 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: I don't know when you're ready. 189 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 2: You'll go out there and you'll do it, and I'll 190 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 2: give you some tips, and yes, you have. 191 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: To leave your I can't somebody here in my closet, 192 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 1: like it would be so much easier. 193 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 2: No, Prince Charming is not knocking at your door. Let 194 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 2: me tell you that Welling Disney sold us a you 195 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 2: know a lot of and we believed it as other girls. 196 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 2: And guess what, it's not the world that we're living in. 197 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 1: Mine was the notebook that was such a bullsh like 198 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: everything is not that's not real love people. 199 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: I tell Nick Cassavetti's who directed that movie, huge fan 200 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 2: of him. I said, you really fucked up. A lot 201 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 2: of women are young girls that are now women. Right. 202 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my therapist told me because we were like 203 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: analyzing it and she's like, if you think about that movie, 204 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: Ryan Gosling is stalking whatever. I forgot a named Rachel Bcgadams, 205 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, you're right, actually, but we find 206 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: that like I found that so like sexy. I don't 207 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,679 Speaker 1: know it was, but it wasn't It wasn't healthy, Like 208 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 1: that's not normal, right, A guy's like stalking her quite 209 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: literally beginning or towards the middle of the movie. 210 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, we women women like the chase, you know. I 211 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 2: think we have this animalistic thing is we want there's 212 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 2: some days where I'm like, yes, I want to be 213 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 2: hunted as a woman. 214 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: Throw me across the room. 215 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do not want to do the hunting, okay, 216 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 2: ye at all, Like I just want to sit here 217 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 2: and I will you know. Yeah, But it's it's a 218 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 2: it's a different landscape for sure. And I actually try 219 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: to explain that to my parents all the time. And 220 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 2: I remember last year at some point I was at 221 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: home in Nebraska visiting my parents and I was like, mom, 222 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 2: let me show you what it's like. Because my mom 223 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: and dad met in high school. Whoa my mom was 224 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 2: I think barely in ninth grade. My dad was a junior. 225 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 2: There were like four years apart, and they've been together 226 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 2: since what, Yeah, it's like I think so, I mean, definitely, Listen, 227 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 2: all marriages have their thing, but they're still together and 228 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 2: I think they're you know, they they have a beautiful relationship, 229 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 2: and I think that's very rare that that happens. But 230 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 2: I said to my mom, I said, let me show you. 231 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 2: So I laid in bed with my little sister on 232 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 2: one side and my mom on the other, and we 233 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 2: were swiping on one of the dating apps and my 234 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,199 Speaker 2: mom's like, oh, I said, see, Like, now you know. 235 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: I've never done a dating app. I refuse. I don't 236 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: even know what it's lighting. Yeah, it's interesting. Back to you. Okay, 237 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,439 Speaker 1: So let's talk about co parenting. What is that? What 238 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 1: has that been like? And what advice do you have 239 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 1: for people who are going through it at the moment? 240 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 2: Oh boy, co parenting can be challenging. Listen, it doesn't 241 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 2: matter if you have a really strong relationship with your 242 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 2: ex husband or ex wife. It's hard. It sucks. It's 243 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: not easy because I feel like kids, you know, marriage 244 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 2: is hard enough, and then you throw kids into the 245 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 2: mix and then makes it ten times harder. Because these 246 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 2: are things that I feel like people don't really discuss 247 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,079 Speaker 2: prior to getting married, like, how do you want to 248 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 2: raise the kids? How what are your rules? 249 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 1: What you know? 250 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 2: I think Randy and I only said, like my kids. 251 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,319 Speaker 2: He was like, my kids are gonna be Jewish and 252 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, fine, Like that's it is what 253 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 2: it is. I'm happy with that. And it can be 254 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 2: extremely challenging at times, but I think you can finally, 255 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 2: like after some rough patches, we have gotten to a 256 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 2: place where he really just defers to me. I know 257 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 2: what I'm you know, I know what I'm doing most 258 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 2: of the time, and some days. For some days I 259 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 2: don't know what I'm doing. It depends on the day. 260 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 2: And like there's new And here's the thing with parenting 261 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 2: is like new things come up all the time. Like 262 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 2: right when you think you have everything in your house 263 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 2: like going smoothly and the kids are behaving, it's like, oh, 264 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 2: now this one is starting her period. Okay, Now this 265 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 2: one's really into this and she's looping. Okay, now this 266 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 2: one is like like looking at herself in the mirror, 267 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 2: grabbing her fat and like it's like with girls, because 268 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 2: this is this is the house full of women at 269 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 2: this point, you know, it's so back to co parenting. 270 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: You know, it is, it's hard, it's challenging, and I 271 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 2: really appreciate that Randy really defers to me. And I 272 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 2: think he now knows after many years of being together 273 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: that we try to meet in the middle. 274 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: But. 275 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 2: I always win. I try to win, of course, but you. 276 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: Know, without rubbing it in his face. 277 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, let's see you go without rubbing in 278 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 2: his face. But you know, my little one is obsessed 279 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 2: with her dad right now, obsessed like he is like 280 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 2: the Disneyland dad. She loves him so much. And I 281 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 2: always say, I love that you have that relationship with 282 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 2: your dad, because I really truly believe it's like this much. 283 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 2: It changes. It comes in seasons and chapters, like one 284 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 2: minute she's into me, one minute the other one's not, 285 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 2: and it just is an ebb and flow, and parenting 286 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 2: is hard and we don't have all the answers, but 287 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 2: we do the best we can. 288 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: Right. That says a lot about you because clearly there 289 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: was no bad mouthing of your ex. Then if you 290 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: know what I mean, like I think I've seen this. 291 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: I come from a divorce family. My mom never bad 292 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: mouthed my father at all, though she could have big time. 293 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: But I think it makes a difference, you know, when 294 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: the parent really I mean, I don't know. I'm just 295 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: assuming that that didn't happen, but I think that must 296 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: be difficult. 297 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 2: You know, it's hard, and that's what the gym is for, 298 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 2: and that's what's going you know for your friends are yeah, 299 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 2: the life coach and the therapist and your sisters and 300 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 2: you know your journal. Oh my god, my god, if 301 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 2: you could only see what's in my journal. 302 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: No, we don't want anyone to see what's in your journal. 303 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: That's for you and your eyes only. 304 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 2: I literally, like today I journaled when one of my 305 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 2: kids was getting ready for school, and after I was 306 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 2: don't have a page, I just ripped it up and 307 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,479 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, done. And that's what something is like. Really, 308 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 2: how often do you go back and read? I know 309 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 2: I don't, and I don't necessarily want to know. I 310 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,639 Speaker 2: just feel like I have a lot of thoughts that 311 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 2: I need to get us fascinating. 312 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I did it like with manifesting, right Like, 313 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 1: I'll put it away for like a year and then 314 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 1: I'll look at it just to see if anything has 315 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: It's actually eye opening, but it's not I'm really shitty 316 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: at journaling, Like the thing is handwriting for me sucks, 317 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 1: and that's probably because I don't do it often. 318 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 2: Obviously, the more you journal, the better your handwriting is 319 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 2: going to get. 320 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: True. Well, then I should start. But with you and 321 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: laala you guys are like for sure bound to each 322 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,919 Speaker 1: other now for forever. What was that? I mean? I 323 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: guess how do the kids do they get along? Because 324 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: I know there's a big age gap right between Laalas 325 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: and yours. What was all that like initially when it 326 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 1: first happened. 327 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 2: Well, I love babies, so I don't care if this 328 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 2: is like my ex husband and the mistress has soon 329 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 2: to be wife's baby. I'm not even paying attention to you. 330 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 2: I'm looking at this sweet innocent baby that is just so. 331 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 2: I just have this thing for babies. I'm just, oh, 332 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 2: I can't. I just love them so much. So when 333 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 2: Ocean was born, I was like, can I hold your 334 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 2: baby like I'm promised? Like I just I just wanted 335 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 2: to feel that. And that's London and Riley's sister. And 336 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:36,440 Speaker 2: there's nothing more powerful than having sisters, right, good sisters, 337 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 2: sisters that support you and love you through it all 338 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 2: and I have. I'm the middle child. Obviously, I have 339 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 2: a younger sister and older sister, and it's the best 340 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 2: thing in the world. And so I really encouraged London 341 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 2: and Riley to be a good example, to set the example, 342 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 2: and and it naturally happened. I mean there's a mass 343 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:05,920 Speaker 2: of age gap between London, who's sixteen, and Ocean. Now. 344 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 2: Riley is in that age where she's really into First 345 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 2: of all, they get a kick out of Ocean. Ocean 346 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 2: is hysterical, I mean mad, Ocean will be five her 347 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 2: birthdays this month, and so they London or sorry, Riley 348 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 2: and Ocean have developed this beautiful relationship where it's just 349 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 2: pure love and it is so beautiful and I love it, 350 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 2: and I want them to have each other forever, right, 351 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 2: And I think it's our job as parents to really, 352 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 2: you know, especially when they're younger, to nurture those relationships. 353 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 2: And I want London and Riley to see my love 354 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: for Ocean and Sosa too, because you know, everyone's in 355 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 2: the mix now, so this is a part of the crew, 356 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 2: and so it's a really beautiful thing to see Riley 357 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 2: just adoors Ocean. 358 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,399 Speaker 1: I love that because then she gets a younger sister, 359 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: you know, like that's that's beautiful. I come from a 360 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: divorce family, and I I had an older stepsister who 361 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: recently passed away, but and then my little half sister. 362 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 1: So it's you know, it's a mixed family, and it 363 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: is really important. You're right to have sisters and to 364 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: have and to really truly you know, connect and not 365 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: take that relationship for granted because you just never know. 366 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: Going back to you and Lala, did you guys get 367 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: along like when you made the decision okay, we're going 368 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 1: to try and work this out or become Was it 369 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,159 Speaker 1: like right away? Was it instant friendship or was it 370 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 1: like I have to get to know you, I don't 371 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: trust you type thing? Was it like small steps? 372 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 2: I'll just speak for me. I don't know how long 373 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 2: it feels about this, but I you know, I think 374 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 2: trust was something I will say this. I think trust 375 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 2: was something hard for both of us initially and slowly, 376 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 2: and it was hard. It was a process, and it 377 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 2: took time. And when I was ready, she wasn't ready. 378 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 2: When she was ready, I wasn't ready, and and but 379 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,160 Speaker 2: we just kept the door open, right and I would 380 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,680 Speaker 2: call her and I would check on her and maybe 381 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:19,160 Speaker 2: it was one of the girl's birthdays or the holidays 382 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:25,959 Speaker 2: or whatever whatever it was. And then I think, because 383 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 2: of my sobriety, I would say really going through this 384 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 2: process of healing and really getting to know who Laala is, right, 385 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,479 Speaker 2: not Lala on vander Pump because frankly, I don't know. 386 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 2: I know, I see a little bit of that, you know, 387 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 2: badass bitch, but I got to know a really beautiful, 388 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 2: softer side of Lala that is so beautiful, and I 389 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 2: really do love her, you know, like we've we've bonded 390 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 2: in a way, we have a we have a shared bond. 391 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 2: Sorry I'm getting so emotional. 392 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 1: It's fine, you're getting me emotional. I love it. 393 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 2: We have a bond that I really appreciate and I 394 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 2: don't take it for granted. And I know how hard 395 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 2: both of us has worked to get to this place. 396 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 2: It was really difficult. It's not easy, and I want 397 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 2: people to know that when they're in this position, or 398 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 2: if they're in this position now and they're dealing with 399 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 2: a spouse or an ex, it's hard. But don't close 400 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,639 Speaker 2: the door because you never know, right and it just 401 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 2: takes someone waking up going you know what, today, I'm 402 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: going to pick up the phone, or I'm going to 403 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 2: invite that person for coffee, or I'm going to call 404 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 2: and just send a text and say, hey, I know 405 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 2: we don't have the best relationship. I just want to 406 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 2: let you know I'm thinking about you, let me know 407 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: if you're open for a conversations. 408 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 1: Like it's a lot harder to hate, I think than 409 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: to read peace. I believe. 410 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean it doesn't feel good. 411 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: You know it doesn't. And ultimately it's you that feels 412 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,479 Speaker 1: like that, no matter what, right, it's never you know, 413 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,399 Speaker 1: you can't really control the person that you're feeling this with, 414 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: but that is just it takes up so much energy 415 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: inside of you when there's those resentment, those feelings of 416 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 1: resentment and just hate. It's just a nasty feeling. 417 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 2: It is and I don't like it and it's not 418 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 2: and you you know, we're evolving as women and human 419 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 2: and children. Children change us, and life changes us and 420 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,439 Speaker 2: our experience. So it's just kind of always being open. 421 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 2: And you know, I'm a very spiritual person and I 422 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 2: would pray and I never knew what my higher power 423 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 2: had in store for me, but I was always open 424 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 2: and like I said, always kept that door open. So 425 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 2: eventually and I got to the place of we were like, 426 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,640 Speaker 2: oh I like you. Oh I like you too. Wait 427 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 2: a second, wait what we were ever fighting about or 428 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 2: what was that? And it's like, now we have this 429 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 2: beautiful relationship. We go to San Francisco, we sleep in 430 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,600 Speaker 2: the same bed and she's like, no, you're not sleeping 431 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,639 Speaker 2: in another hotel room. You're sleeping right next to me. 432 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 2: Are you cool with that? Actually, forget it? And then 433 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,960 Speaker 2: it's like, of course I'm cool with that, Like this 434 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 2: is amazing. I would rather be sleeping next to you 435 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 2: than some you know, random dude. And so now we 436 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 2: have this like great, you know, I wake up and 437 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 2: I sometimes I text her, I'm like I love you, 438 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: and she's like, I love you. And then it was cute. 439 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 2: When I was there in La a couple of weeks ago, 440 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 2: we were driving back from doing our podcast together and 441 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 2: we were stuck on the four or five freeway and 442 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 2: she looks over at me and she goes, I love you. 443 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 2: And it made me. At first, I was like, God, 444 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 2: that feels so uncomfortable, like having that like really intimate 445 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,439 Speaker 2: moment when you're stuck on the freeway and then I 446 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 2: was like, no, actually, that's amazing, and she's like, why 447 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: did you make that face? I was like, I got 448 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 2: uncomfortable for a second, but then I realized, like, I 449 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,919 Speaker 2: freaking love you too, you know, and it was just 450 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 2: such a beautiful moment. So we have these funny moments together. 451 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,919 Speaker 1: Beautiful. Yeah, I love that. What qualities I guess do 452 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: you admire about La La? Because I think for some 453 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 1: people who watch vand of pump roles, they must have 454 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,360 Speaker 1: this judgment on like what she's like. And I don't 455 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 1: know what it is. I mean, I like, you don't. 456 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 1: I've never really seen it before, so I don't know 457 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: her well. But I always thought I would always get 458 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: along with someone like her, you know, just because she 459 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: seems really cool and down to earth. But you tell me, you. 460 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: Know, the thought that just came through my mind when 461 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 2: you were saying that was if I was in high school, 462 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 2: she would be the girl that I would go kick 463 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 2: it with. I would be like, that was cool. Yeah, 464 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 2: she doesn't care what people think most of the time, right, 465 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 2: I don't want to say ever cares what people thinks about. 466 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 2: But she's just her and she's unapologetically her and that 467 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 2: is freaking awesome. 468 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, that is inspiring. 469 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 2: It's inspiring, and she she's not afraid to call people out. 470 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 2: And I also think that that's a gift. She's really fun, 471 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 2: but yet I know this vulnerable side to her that 472 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 2: I think that through the podcast, a lot of people 473 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 2: are getting to see the other side. And she's evolved, right. 474 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 2: We when you grow up on television, like she did, 475 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:42,239 Speaker 2: you see all different types of you know, versions we 476 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:46,200 Speaker 2: look at I don't know, Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears, 477 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 2: like the girls that we grew up with. It's like 478 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 2: you see or Christina Aguilera, like you see them go 479 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:57,200 Speaker 2: through an array of different personalities and transform and at 480 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 2: bottom normal that's all of us. By the way, you 481 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 2: don't just have to be a celebrity to go through that. 482 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 2: My next door neighbor goes through that, Like the person 483 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 2: across the street goes through that. And so unfortunately for them, 484 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 2: it's just it's really just displayed out there and there's 485 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 2: a lot of judgment. Well, it was just a lot 486 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,359 Speaker 2: of fun. 487 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, she seems I mean she's smart obviously too. 488 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 2: She's very intelligent, super smart, super smart girl business wise, 489 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,399 Speaker 2: you know, she has a lot on her plate. She 490 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,120 Speaker 2: takes care of her entire family. They live under one roof, 491 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 2: and she's doing it. She is, like you said, super inspiring. 492 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: You would definitely like in back in high school, middle school, 493 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 1: she'd have your back, that's for sure, and she'd kick. 494 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 2: Some I'd be like, let's go after school, We're gonna 495 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 2: go get them. 496 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: What do you think Laala has learned from you in 497 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: this since you guys have developed such a bond and friendship. 498 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,159 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know. 499 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 1: I'm sure so much. 500 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 2: I'm at that. I feel like that is such a 501 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,920 Speaker 2: question for her. I don't want to speak for her. 502 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I get it. I understand. But do 503 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: you think you brought maybe some peace into like meditation? 504 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: Is she into meditation now? Like you? Have you influenced her? 505 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 1: I guess is a better question. And certain practices that 506 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,719 Speaker 1: you that you believe in. 507 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 2: I mean I think something that I I think both 508 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 2: of us struggle with this thing. When something happens, whether 509 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 2: it's co parenting or career or a boy situation, a 510 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 2: friendship is situation. We go straight and we're like we 511 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 2: want to just like deal with the head on like 512 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 2: right now, like we can't. 513 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: We can't. 514 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 2: We just like we want to. We want to either 515 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,320 Speaker 2: fix it or we want to, like, you know, crush 516 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 2: this person, or we're going to go get the attorney 517 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 2: because clearly our voice isn't being heard and it's it's 518 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,239 Speaker 2: escalating to a level that's not okay. One of the 519 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 2: things that I think we both do for each other 520 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 2: is we're like, okay, let's just pause for a second, 521 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 2: Like we bring each other down from maybe when we 522 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 2: call each other out a ten, we go from ten 523 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,080 Speaker 2: to like a four. And I think that's I think 524 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 2: that's something that I call her right away I'm crying. 525 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 2: She could tell right away when I'm like she needs to, like, 526 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 2: you know, this is important, or when she calls me 527 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,239 Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, do you know what, We're going 528 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 2: to pause. We're gonna pause. It's gonna stuck, and we're 529 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 2: gonna sit here and fill our feelings and then tomorrow 530 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 2: morning if you wake up. So I have a twenty 531 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 2: four hour twenty four hour rule. If I want to 532 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 2: send that email, if I want to send that text, 533 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 2: if I want to make a big decision and I 534 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 2: need to do it today, I say, guess what We're 535 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 2: going to give it twenty four hours, and if you 536 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 2: wake up tomorrow and you still feel the same way 537 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 2: that this issue or non issue, whatever it is is 538 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 2: feel that important to you and you feel still you 539 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 2: feel still the same way where you're like, I'm going 540 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 2: to send that email or I'm gonna send that text, 541 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 2: then that's your answer. Then you could do it. But 542 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 2: I think it's just learning to pause and let our 543 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 2: emotions like think more with the rational brain. 544 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: It's like, don't react, it's more responding. Is where I 545 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: think is. I'm like you guys, by the way, I 546 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: am like right away, it's so hard where. 547 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,400 Speaker 2: Women are hormonal, We're like, we're gonna like I'm also. 548 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: An addict, so like I'm just like, you know, I 549 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: just get I'm almost addicted to that, Like no, I 550 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 1: need to get I need to do it now or 551 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: also never going to do it, But no one needs 552 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: to do anything now. No, it's not now, it's not now, 553 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: and it's not never. But it's somewhere. There's a gray area. 554 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: Who knew? 555 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,440 Speaker 2: Who knew that you could live life in the gray area. 556 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,959 Speaker 2: I hate the gray area. 557 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: I always found it boring, but it's quite peaceful. It is. 558 00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 2: It is so peaceful. And my sponsor tells me that 559 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 2: all the time. She's like, it's okay, you don't have 560 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 2: to know today, and I'm like, but no. 561 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 1: I want to. 562 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 2: Does he love me? 563 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,760 Speaker 1: I know, I know, because I mean a adrenaline is also. 564 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 2: A tictach right, yeah, the same with my career. Am 565 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 2: I going to get that job? And I mean, look, 566 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 2: I've been acting since I was eight years old. You 567 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 2: would think that I could just pause and wait and 568 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 2: it's like you just it's just something that is practiced. 569 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: It takes practice to but it's also beautiful to have 570 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: that drive and that like determination because there's also people 571 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 1: who don't you know, that may just dilly dally a little. 572 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 1: But switching gears? What's your dating life that look like? Today? 573 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 2: I am dating someone. I just sating someone. 574 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: So since San Francisco or were you already dating someone 575 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 1: in San Francisco? 576 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,719 Speaker 2: No, it was the same guy. I mean we were 577 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 2: talking when we were in San Francisco. Great, great guy, 578 00:31:54,880 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 2: great guy from Cincinnati, Ohio, all of all places. I 579 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 2: joke with him all the time. I'm like, I am 580 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 2: not moving to Cincinnati, Ohio, just so you know. 581 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: Is he moving to Montana. 582 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 2: Then he's like, have you been there? And I was like, no, 583 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 2: I have to. 584 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: Actually it's one of my partners, the Lache Brothers. They're 585 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: from Cincinnati. They they're great guys, so great go. 586 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think by the way, I think any I 587 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 2: think they breed a lot of amazing men, right, I 588 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 2: just tease with them. Listen, I'm, I'm. It's a very 589 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 2: playful thing that we have between each other. But you know, 590 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll see, we'll see where it goes 591 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 2: one day at a time. That's the program that I'm 592 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 2: a part of. And he's wonderful and he's very supportive 593 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 2: of me and being a mom and wow, yees so. 594 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 1: Far so it's very new ish. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. 595 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: And so was this through a dating app? 596 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 2: No, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was actually through a 597 00:32:59,120 --> 00:32:59,800 Speaker 2: mutual friend. 598 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: See. See, there is help, people, there's help. Yeah. Isn't 599 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520 Speaker 1: that The best way to meet people though, is through 600 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: a friend because your friend knows you for the most part. 601 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I think there's a lot of 602 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 2: really interesting ways to meet people that we've kind of 603 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 2: forgotten about or that we've gotten away from. I know, 604 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 2: a lot of people that have met their guys on 605 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 2: dating apps and they're married and they're happy and it's wonderful. Yeah, 606 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 2: I think. I don't know if it works for everybody, 607 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 2: but I like the idea of, you know, meeting someone 608 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 2: when you walk into the grocery store or I don't know. 609 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 2: People people are like, oh, go to home home depot 610 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 2: and my gop love home depot. 611 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 1: See this is my problem. I literally don't leave my home. 612 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 1: That's probably why I have to. I mean I do, 613 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 1: I do if it's work related. 614 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 2: Right right. Well, they also say too, I've been reading 615 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 2: a lot of articles that like women and men, we 616 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 2: both have our earphones in all the time when we 617 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 2: go to the gym, when we go to the grocery store, 618 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 2: and that makes someone not approachable. 619 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 1: True, I mean I do it because I have a 620 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 1: French bulldog who snores so loud that like, I'm just 621 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm so used to these in my ears constantly. But 622 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: you're right, I have them on even when I'm not 623 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 1: home with my frenchie. 624 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so I think. And I'm also okay with 625 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 2: being a woman and going up to guys and wow 626 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,440 Speaker 2: and saying hi too. I know, it's not. That's not 627 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 2: for everyone. But you know, you go out to dinner, 628 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 2: you go to a bar, you you know, there's just 629 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 2: there's there's ways you need to get out. 630 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:34,919 Speaker 1: Of the house. 631 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,879 Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to say. 632 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 1: Probably, I know, I know, I know you and my 633 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 1: therapist I know are both telling me this, and but 634 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: I just need someone to physically take me because I 635 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 1: just can't do it. I have just I don't know. 636 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't want to go out alone. What is it, 637 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. 638 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,439 Speaker 2: Yes, always, I mean, yeah, for sure, I love going 639 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 2: out alone. I will go sit at the bar at 640 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 2: any restaurant, oh wow, and take myself out. I think 641 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 2: that's like really fun, like dating yourself. Yeah yeah, But 642 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,280 Speaker 2: if you don't want to grab some girlfriends and go 643 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 2: go sit at a bar with a girlfriend. By the way, 644 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 2: you'll meet some really cool people. Here in Bozeman. I 645 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,399 Speaker 2: go to this Italian restaurant, I said, at the bar 646 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 2: and I met this really cool chick and now I'm like, 647 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,760 Speaker 2: we're in a book club together. 648 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,680 Speaker 1: Nice. I love that. You just never know You're right, Okay, 649 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: I'll think about it. What are your thoughts on marriage again? 650 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: Would you ever do it again. 651 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so I say that, I'm like, ah, 652 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 2: I want to. I would like to get married again. 653 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 2: If it happens, great. I'm not one of those people 654 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,880 Speaker 2: that want like the big wedding, and at least today, 655 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:52,600 Speaker 2: I don't want that. 656 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 1: Did you have it already? Like, did you have a 657 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 1: big wedding? 658 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,760 Speaker 2: I know we eloped Actually, oh okay, so we were 659 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 2: down on the beach and we eloped. So I've never 660 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,359 Speaker 2: been in a white long dressed Yeah. I'm like, can 661 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,440 Speaker 2: I just wear like, I don't know, workout outfit or 662 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 2: something like my gear? Can I wear my allow gear? 663 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 2: But if it's really important to my partner, I think 664 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 2: that's something that would be a decision that we would 665 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 2: make together. And if it was, it would be intimate. 666 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 2: If I had to pick, if someone's like, okay, you 667 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,800 Speaker 2: have to get married, where would it be, I would 668 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,959 Speaker 2: say in the mountains, like in the world where there's 669 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 2: nobody and it's just nature. You are, Yeah, where I 670 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 2: am and boson, I'm actually scoping out the area right 671 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 2: now for my for my future wedding. Yeah, I want 672 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 2: it to be just small and intimate. But again, like 673 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 2: you plan God laughs, So who right? 674 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,439 Speaker 1: Right? Right, right, do you talk to your kids about 675 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:51,080 Speaker 1: your dating life? 676 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,240 Speaker 2: I mean my kids no, like they see. 677 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,879 Speaker 1: Me go on dates stupid like they see it. 678 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and and and I personally think it's really 679 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 2: important to show the girls what dating looks like as 680 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 2: a single woman. Like I think it's going to be 681 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 2: very hard for these kids, and I want them to 682 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,959 Speaker 2: know what a man should do, Like this guy better 683 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 2: not be honking his horn when he pulls up to 684 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 2: take me out now in the first like for the 685 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 2: first few months, obviously, I go out and I meet them. 686 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,120 Speaker 2: There's no one showing up my door. But of course 687 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 2: he's knocking on the door. He's you know what I mean, 688 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 2: just like you Yeah, just old school, right. 689 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: It's not old school. It's not old school. 690 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:40,759 Speaker 2: I know I say that, but it's not. It's just 691 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 2: it's just values that I think a lot of people 692 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 2: have gotten away from, or a lot of young men 693 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,840 Speaker 2: haven't haven't learned. I think there definitely are. I mean, 694 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,799 Speaker 2: the guy that I'm dating now is amazing, and he 695 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 2: goes above and beyond, and I'm just like, could you 696 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 2: not get any more amazing? You know, we go if 697 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,520 Speaker 2: I'm driving my car, he'll open my car door first 698 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 2: and then put himself on you know in the passage. Yes, 699 00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:08,319 Speaker 2: like absolutely, that is amazing. So, yes, my kids know 700 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 2: that I'm dating, and obviously I want their opinion. I 701 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 2: really do want I want them to know, like mom, 702 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 2: because I think kids have great instincts like that guy's 703 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,920 Speaker 2: not not dig I'm not having it, or you know, 704 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:25,200 Speaker 2: you just watch kids sometimes after dating someone for a while, 705 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 2: interact with someone and you can tell right away. I 706 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 2: want to know that someone's good with my kids. I'm 707 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,319 Speaker 2: not looking for another dad. I just want someone that 708 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 2: if they're going to be a part of my family 709 00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,640 Speaker 2: that I've created, that they're getting along with everybody. 710 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: Does he have kids? 711 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 2: No, never been married, doesn't have kids? 712 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 1: Wow? Okay, and obviously you know so you haven't met 713 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 1: No one has met the lucky Man. What is Lala? 714 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 2: I think she hasn't met him yet. She's excited, you know, 715 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,960 Speaker 2: I don't know. I think we're both kind of like. 716 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,840 Speaker 2: I think she's a little bit nervous for me. Yeah, 717 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 2: she knows that my picker was not very great. It's 718 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,560 Speaker 2: gotten a lot better. I've done a lot of work 719 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 2: on myself, so I trust myself now and when something's 720 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 2: not right. I'm a board mission very quickly, red flag, 721 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,440 Speaker 2: red flag. Yeah. 722 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,000 Speaker 1: Do you still love acting and you still are pursuing 723 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:26,800 Speaker 1: your career? 724 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 2: I do. I have a movie coming out, going to 725 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 2: a film festival next week. It will be in theaters 726 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 2: and streaming in the fall. 727 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:39,760 Speaker 1: Congrats. 728 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:44,440 Speaker 2: I have a project with Lala, and I'm just always creating. 729 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 2: Acting is my passion. Storytelling is my passion. I've done 730 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,959 Speaker 2: it since i was seven eight years old. That's my love. 731 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 2: I love doing it. But I'm also completely open to 732 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 2: any sort of different artistic outlets and creativity and projects 733 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 2: and stuff like that. 734 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 1: Would you do dancing with the Stars? 735 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, of course I would. That would be amazing. 736 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:10,600 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I would. I I love dancing. Most 737 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:15,240 Speaker 2: people don't know this. My kids are obviously so embarrassed 738 00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 2: because I'm the mom and I'm not. You know, it's 739 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 2: like not cool to see your mom like playing Biggie 740 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 2: Smalls or like even like music. I love dancing and 741 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,120 Speaker 2: I would one hundred percent do Dancing with the stars. 742 00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:28,799 Speaker 1: Who would you want your partner to be? 743 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 2: Mm? Julianne. She's a girlfriend of mine. Okay, I don't 744 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 2: I don't know I mean, I'm I think like any 745 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,680 Speaker 2: I think each of the dancers on there are so 746 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,400 Speaker 2: beautiful and so unique and so different, and there's something 747 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 2: to learn from every single one of them. 748 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: So you and Laala should do dancing with the stars. 749 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,800 Speaker 1: That would be so fun to watch. 750 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 2: I would do it in a heartbeat, and I know 751 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 2: she would too. It would be so fun. I would 752 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 2: it would be. I know it's a lot of work. 753 00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,439 Speaker 2: I heard it's a lot of work. 754 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,799 Speaker 1: Yes, like you, I mean probably not possible, but your kid, 755 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,720 Speaker 1: I mean, everyone would just have to move there because 756 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: there is no such thing. You can't But when you 757 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,360 Speaker 1: do get the call, give me a call and I'll 758 00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:17,480 Speaker 1: walk you through it. 759 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 2: Okay, great, I can't wait. 760 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:23,799 Speaker 1: So as we wrap up here, what do you have? 761 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for anybody who's struggling right 762 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,080 Speaker 1: now and that's going through a divorce. 763 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 2: It gets better, and it doesn't feel like it. It 764 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 2: doesn't feel like it. It feels like you can't see the 765 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 2: light at the end of the tunnel. But I promise you, 766 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 2: I promise you it gets better. But at the same time, 767 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest mistakes that I made 768 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 2: is I was so desperate for my piece and just 769 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,799 Speaker 2: to get it done and quick as possible. That I 770 00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,800 Speaker 2: really hurt myself in a lot of ways that I 771 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:11,239 Speaker 2: definitely won't get into details here. But be smart. You 772 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 2: have to be smart. You could be emotional, but you 773 00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:18,520 Speaker 2: also have to be smart. Doesn't mean you have to 774 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,239 Speaker 2: like go for the jugular and be, you know, a 775 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 2: horrible person, right, because I don't believe in that. But 776 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,399 Speaker 2: I think it's really important to not get caught up 777 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 2: in the nitty gritty of things and look at the 778 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,799 Speaker 2: big picture and just know that you're going to get 779 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,600 Speaker 2: through this too. 780 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:45,600 Speaker 1: Shall pass for sure. Thank you so much, thank you, 781 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,399 Speaker 1: Thanks so much to Amber for this candid conversation. If 782 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,920 Speaker 1: you guys need any advice on how to navigate your 783 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,839 Speaker 1: own relationship with your ex's new partner, well just call 784 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,319 Speaker 1: us or email us. All the info is in the 785 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 1: show notes as always, andollow us on socials. Make sure 786 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,960 Speaker 1: to rate review the podcast I Do Part two and 787 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,920 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.