Speaker 1: This is Conversationous with Olivia Jade and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to another episode of Conversations. I
Speaker 1: am really really honored for today's guests. And she's honestly
Speaker 1: one of the most inspiring people that I know and
Speaker 1: I've worked with and met, and she's really gone through
Speaker 1: it the last year and through the pandemic, and I
Speaker 1: want you guys to get to know her before everything
Speaker 1: and after everything, and what she's up to now and
Speaker 1: what the future holds. So with that being said, please
Speaker 1: welcome miss Amanda Klutz. Hi, Hi, long time to see.
Speaker 1: How are you? Oh my god, Olivia. I was supposed
Speaker 1: to go to jingle Ball. It would that would have
Speaker 1: been so fun. Oh my god. I didn't go because
Speaker 1: I've gone in New York before and it's so loud
Speaker 1: and so like. I didn't stay for the entire thing,
Speaker 1: but I stayed for a few of my friends performances,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was blown away. It was
Speaker 1: so exciting to watch people I know up there. It
Speaker 1: was God, who did you know? I was only going
Speaker 1: to go for Ed Sheer and I was like, I
Speaker 1: love Ed. I love Ed shere and well, I stayed
Speaker 1: for him, but then I think I left after his
Speaker 1: performance because I was just so tired. But my friend
Speaker 1: Bozzy performed, which was really fun to see because I
Speaker 1: felt like the crowd they would it would go in
Speaker 1: waves of it being like super amped up and then
Speaker 1: everybody's kind of mellow, and he got the crowd going.
Speaker 1: So it was just really fun to see. Oh cool,
Speaker 1: I wish you were there because Jojo was there. Was there.
Speaker 1: You guys look so cute, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: we would have had a full reunion. Would have been
Speaker 1: great for a little family, a little family truly. How
Speaker 1: have you been? Um, I've been all right. I mean,
Speaker 1: like I said to you, I mean it's slowly getting better.
Speaker 1: The depression is slowly getting better from like us, you know,
Speaker 1: our intense lives going back to normal. Um it's been Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's been getting better. Yeah, I know. I miss it
Speaker 1: a lot actually, like random, and I didn't think I would.
Speaker 1: I literally I just asked Emma and Brett. I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: so I really want to like take ballroom lessons, like
Speaker 1: at least once a week. And I was like I
Speaker 1: need advice on who to go to because I really
Speaker 1: want to do this, Like I feel like even just
Speaker 1: getting that once a week lesson will help me feel better,
Speaker 1: you know for sure? Okay, I might tag along for
Speaker 1: a few of those. Yeah, take me with you. Okay.
Speaker 1: So a lot of people I obviously know you from
Speaker 1: the show Dancing with the Stars. If you guys don't
Speaker 1: know A man and I did season thirty together and
Speaker 1: it was a blast. But I feel like I don't
Speaker 1: even really know this, and I know my audience probably
Speaker 1: is curious to what was life like, not even just
Speaker 1: before the pandemic. But I guess like growing up in
Speaker 1: general and where you're from and just giving them a
Speaker 1: little background of who you are. Oh sure, So I
Speaker 1: grew up in a Hio Canton, Ohio, which you're a
Speaker 1: football fan, is home of the football Hall of Fame.
Speaker 1: I mean Olivia. Like my family's the Brady Bunch. We
Speaker 1: are each other's best friends. We all look alike, we
Speaker 1: all sounded like we are all you know we we
Speaker 1: we danced, we played instruments, we were in the band,
Speaker 1: we were major atts um you know, we went to
Speaker 1: the ice cream parlor down the street, we walked to school.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like that whole like Midwest Norman kind
Speaker 1: of painting lifestyle. Um, you know, I mean not to
Speaker 1: say that we like have this easy life or anything
Speaker 1: like that. Um, but it just was like family first.
Speaker 1: God first, it was just like a you know, very
Speaker 1: loving U home town kind of vibe my childhood, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that was that was growing up. And then
Speaker 1: at eighteen, I decided that I wanted to move to
Speaker 1: New York to learn how to be on Broadway. And
Speaker 1: so I went to a musical theater conservatory in New
Speaker 1: York at eighteen and switched the switch the hometown girl
Speaker 1: up to city girl. When you were when you were
Speaker 1: in Ohio, were you like dancing or acting or doing
Speaker 1: anything theatrical or were you just like in school and
Speaker 1: living a normal life. Well, I went to a performing
Speaker 1: arts middle school, so that's like how I became involved
Speaker 1: with like dance and choir in drama. And then in
Speaker 1: high school I started doing ballet and I was in
Speaker 1: like a pre professional ballet company and so then that
Speaker 1: was like my life. But then also choir, so I
Speaker 1: like did a lot of singing in high school musicals
Speaker 1: in high school, and then but like after school, my
Speaker 1: life was I went to dance at ballet, but like ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet,
Speaker 1: and then you moved to New York at eighteen, and
Speaker 1: then how is the Roquettes whole situation? Is that like
Speaker 1: an audition process? I don't know anything about it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the most intense. Um. Yeah. So I moved to
Speaker 1: New York at eighteen with two goals to become a
Speaker 1: Radio City Rocket and to work on Broadway. And Broadway
Speaker 1: came first, and after school, which was a two year conservatory,
Speaker 1: I auditioned for the third time the forty two Street
Speaker 1: national tour of the Broadway show that was happening at
Speaker 1: the time, and I finally booked it Third Times a
Speaker 1: Charm and I went on a national tour that was
Speaker 1: like my first job at twenty years old, and um
Speaker 1: toured the country for ten months while I was touring
Speaker 1: auditions for the Radio City Rockets here in New York City,
Speaker 1: and um that was also a Third Times a Charm
Speaker 1: that for that audition and booked that job while I
Speaker 1: was on tour, So then left tour to become a
Speaker 1: Radio City Rocket. That audition, though, was literally I think
Speaker 1: like probably at least five d seven hundred girls at
Speaker 1: that open call. They needed twelve girls. It was over
Speaker 1: two days, ten to six pm the whole day. I mean,
Speaker 1: you are it is so intense. You know, it's all
Speaker 1: about perfection and and you know, looking the same so everybody.
Speaker 1: You know, it's all it's so uniform and precise, and
Speaker 1: you really have to fit that mold. You know, you
Speaker 1: can't be yourself there, you have to you have to
Speaker 1: be like everyone else. So it's it's very insane. It
Speaker 1: sounds so intense. I remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I would any time we'd be in the city in
Speaker 1: New York, my mom would take my sister and I
Speaker 1: had to see the Rockuettes around Christmas time, and it
Speaker 1: was like my highlight. I was so excited. I was
Speaker 1: blown away by the way you guys can all also
Speaker 1: move your bodies and how everybody is that flexible and
Speaker 1: in sync. I remember being like nine years old and
Speaker 1: just like, how are they doing this? And then to
Speaker 1: watch that carry over and then you really like take
Speaker 1: over ballroom, which I think is like a funny misconception
Speaker 1: that I've seen a lot. When like you and jo
Speaker 1: Joe and everybody was joining the show that had previous
Speaker 1: dance experienced, people were like, this isn't fair, like they've
Speaker 1: danced before, and it's like, oh my gosh, but if
Speaker 1: you knew what ballroom training was, like, there's no way.
Speaker 1: It's similar to being a roquette, like it has to
Speaker 1: be so different, Oh, the complete opposite. In fact, like
Speaker 1: everything like actually worked against me, you know, like Alan
Speaker 1: was constantly like soft thin and like get low and
Speaker 1: don't be so sharp and learn how to dance with me.
Speaker 1: First of all, a rocket, you're dancing by yourself the
Speaker 1: whole time. Even when we're kicking in a kick line,
Speaker 1: you aren't allowed to touch the person next to you,
Speaker 1: so you are by yourself the whole time. You do
Speaker 1: not ever dance with someone. And then it's all about
Speaker 1: being up and being sharp and being tall. And then
Speaker 1: you know from being dancing with a man, it's like
Speaker 1: ben journeys, get low, and especially with Alan, because I'm
Speaker 1: so tall and he's like my height, like I had
Speaker 1: to get extra low. I felt like I was dancing
Speaker 1: at that show, like I felt literally I was dancing
Speaker 1: in a squat like bent, like bent halfway over and
Speaker 1: so funny, like you're dancing it and you feel like
Speaker 1: I must look like an idiot. And then you watch
Speaker 1: the video back, and you're like, I don't even look
Speaker 1: like I'm low, and I literally feel like I'm dancing
Speaker 1: on that. You didn't look like it at all. You
Speaker 1: could not tell that you were really having to like
Speaker 1: focus on that and bent down because everything looks so flawless.
Speaker 1: But it is weird. It's just like a total change
Speaker 1: of pace. Yeah, how is having Alan as your partner?
Speaker 1: I obviously know you guys are great friends and everything
Speaker 1: like that, but tell the listeners what that experience was like. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, the minute I walked in that room, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, I had no idea who I was gonna get.
Speaker 1: I had requested somebody tall. I was like, just please
Speaker 1: give me a tall pro because I know I'm a
Speaker 1: tall lady. Um. So I walked in the room and
Speaker 1: I saw Alan. I had watched you know, many seasons
Speaker 1: and saw him last season, especially dance with Sky, and
Speaker 1: I was so excited. We immediately hit it off. We
Speaker 1: just had that like really good bond and you know,
Speaker 1: being able to like laugh and enjoy you know the process,
Speaker 1: and feel so passionate about dancing and this competition, especially
Speaker 1: because I'm such a huge Dancing with the Stars fanatic,
Speaker 1: even before doing the show. Now I'm even more of
Speaker 1: a fanatic. Um, so I think he appreciated that I
Speaker 1: had come in being a fan already, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: But then you know, we just, yeah, we really worked
Speaker 1: well together. And I think, you know, throughout the process,
Speaker 1: you spend so much time with this person, you know.
Speaker 1: For me, it was it was it was so nice
Speaker 1: because I had really missed having like somebody that I
Speaker 1: spend time with my life. That isn't not that I
Speaker 1: don't love my son, but that isn't my son, That
Speaker 1: isn't like meeting something from me all the time. It
Speaker 1: was so nice to be able to like go and
Speaker 1: spend time learning a new skill and also gaining this
Speaker 1: new friend at the same time. And you know, I
Speaker 1: hadn't realized obviously spending so much time on Broadway and
Speaker 1: rockets like that. Rehearsal space is so um, I'm so
Speaker 1: used to that. It's like my comfort zone. Like I
Speaker 1: walk into a dance rehearsal and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: remember what this feels like. You know, like I'm immediately
Speaker 1: you know, I'm grabbing your arm and and and hugging
Speaker 1: you and kissing you. Just feel like that's like that
Speaker 1: just feels so natural to me. So it was so
Speaker 1: nice to like go back to that so easily, and
Speaker 1: Alan made that so easily available too, and and it
Speaker 1: just felt like I got to go back in time
Speaker 1: to like that time in my life where things were
Speaker 1: a little easier and and it just like was so
Speaker 1: it made me so happy every day to go to work.
Speaker 1: It really did. I think that's why I'm in depression now.
Speaker 1: You know, well, you also have had like a really
Speaker 1: crazy rough and traumatic and also just like completely like
Speaker 1: life changing. I feel like two years or you know,
Speaker 1: it's been it's been wild, and I like, I'm so
Speaker 1: I admire you so much because obviously getting to work
Speaker 1: with you and like see you every day, you have
Speaker 1: such like strength and grace for going through something so challenging.
Speaker 1: Do you think the show helped in like a healing
Speaker 1: process in a way or was this more of like
Speaker 1: a fun distraction because I know some people get really
Speaker 1: deep with the show, you know what I mean, and
Speaker 1: like let's really pull something out of them. And you
Speaker 1: know what I think it is is, I think it
Speaker 1: hits you in this show like you are just you
Speaker 1: join and you're so happy and you're like you've you've
Speaker 1: watched the show and you see that transition in people
Speaker 1: and you're like, you go in At least I go in.
Speaker 1: I went in with it just being like I have
Speaker 1: no expectations. I'm just here to have fun. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to be here, and I want to learn how
Speaker 1: to ballroom dance. That was like my number one goal.
Speaker 1: And then yes, there is. You're so right. There's this
Speaker 1: like weird turning point in the show where like it
Speaker 1: gets really emotionally difficult. You're so exhausted, you're physically exhausted,
Speaker 1: and you realize it's a competition when like you don't
Speaker 1: want it to. I never wanted this show to be
Speaker 1: a competition. I really didn't want us to like all
Speaker 1: continue on it because it was so fun to see
Speaker 1: everybody like grow each week. Like I literally was so
Speaker 1: funny to tru everybody on, so like it all hits you.
Speaker 1: And then when it does, and for me, I think
Speaker 1: that's what happened. For me, there was like a moment
Speaker 1: of like, oh God, like this is actually like really
Speaker 1: helping me kind of heal, and Alan is really helping
Speaker 1: me heal, and oh God, I'm like this show yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: mootional roller coaster, and so you're answer to the answer
Speaker 1: your question, Yes, it really did, and it didn't That
Speaker 1: hit me after we did our contemporary dance um in
Speaker 1: the semifinals to nixt song Live Your Life, because I
Speaker 1: woke up the next morning and I think the whole
Speaker 1: week of like a lot of tears and a lot
Speaker 1: of talking with Alan about it and then performing it,
Speaker 1: and you know, on Sunday that you know, you you
Speaker 1: rehearse it so much and then you perform it, and
Speaker 1: then by the final performance on Monday night, I think
Speaker 1: I was so emotionally exhausted and spent from you know,
Speaker 1: the whole week um let alone, just that day that
Speaker 1: I woke up on Tuesday and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, like I feel like a new layer of
Speaker 1: like healing from that week and the show and and
Speaker 1: so it was. It was an oddly healing thing for
Speaker 1: me that danced to Like definitely everybody watching felt it,
Speaker 1: and that was like such a that's so hard to
Speaker 1: do on a show like that because everybody's first of all,
Speaker 1: you're watching so many different dances back to back, and
Speaker 1: everybody has their own like spice or flair or something
Speaker 1: they're adding to it. That's really special. But like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, the room after that dance, like everybody just
Speaker 1: felt the emotion and it was so special to watch.
Speaker 1: And I've told you in person, but I mean, it
Speaker 1: was just absolutely gorgeous. It was beautiful. I am curious
Speaker 1: because I don't even think I've really talked to you
Speaker 1: too in depth about this, and I'm just wondering, like,
Speaker 1: what was life like pre pandemic and then what was
Speaker 1: that journey going going through what you did and how
Speaker 1: Nick got sick and what that whole process was and
Speaker 1: you documenting it on social media? What was that all
Speaker 1: like for you? Yeah, I mean it's so crazy because
Speaker 1: my life pre prandemic to now is like a lictoral
Speaker 1: like naty degree difference, so three six degree difference. Um.
Speaker 1: Nick and I just moved to l A. We had
Speaker 1: a brand new baby, Elvis was three months old. I
Speaker 1: was just starting to get back into work. Nick was unemployed.
Speaker 1: We moved here. Um. We were living in our good
Speaker 1: friend Zach Braft's guesthouse, UM free of charge because we
Speaker 1: had no money. UM. Nick showed that he was supposed
Speaker 1: to do here kept getting postponed because of construction and
Speaker 1: UM so literally like we literally had nothing, and I
Speaker 1: was just getting back into teaching fitness and every time
Speaker 1: I had come here to teach fitness before, my class
Speaker 1: is sold out and it was like I was a
Speaker 1: huge hit in l A. And so moving here, I thought, Okay,
Speaker 1: good at least like we have that, Like every time
Speaker 1: I've taught in l A, it's been a good success.
Speaker 1: So good. One we moved here and nobody could care
Speaker 1: less that I was here. Nobody was showing up to class.
Speaker 1: I'm I was lucky to have like one person in
Speaker 1: my class. I felt like such a failure. Um, nothing,
Speaker 1: nothing was working. I was in I think postpartum depression
Speaker 1: because of it all. Um Nick would leave the house
Speaker 1: to like go work on music and I would just
Speaker 1: start sobbing and immediately call him and tell me how
Speaker 1: to come home because I felt like I was having
Speaker 1: a panic attack just being alone in the house. It
Speaker 1: was like it was such a weird, um, a super
Speaker 1: weird time in our life. Closer to like, and I'll
Speaker 1: say March, because I do feel like that's when like
Speaker 1: the pandemic kind of hit are like the United States, Um,
Speaker 1: closer to March, things were like sort of getting better.
Speaker 1: My class has had a little bit more energy. Nick
Speaker 1: was finally doing his show. We were sort of finding
Speaker 1: our pace in l a I. We had bought a
Speaker 1: house that we were renovating, so I kind of felt like, okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna move out of Zack's. We have our own place.
Speaker 1: So closer to March, things felt like, okay, we're here.
Speaker 1: We made a decision. Things are kind of revving up
Speaker 1: from myself again. Elvis is getting a little bit older.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling better about being a mom and his and
Speaker 1: he has this job that at least is like paying
Speaker 1: the bills. So it slowly started to get better than
Speaker 1: the pandemic hit and everything came to crash. We we
Speaker 1: went back to New York because we had to move
Speaker 1: out of our officially move out of that apartment that
Speaker 1: we still had there as kind of like our cushion.
Speaker 1: We moved out of New York. Um said goodbye to
Speaker 1: everything there and officially, you know, took everything here. And
Speaker 1: two days later we got back from New York and
Speaker 1: that's when Nick got sick. Um and so you know,
Speaker 1: it just it hit us like a ton of bricks,
Speaker 1: you know. And and that first week that Nick was sick.
Speaker 1: He he literally just was sleeping. He had no symptoms
Speaker 1: of COVID. Uh that we're on the news at the time.
Speaker 1: Even even now, if somebody was just saying that they
Speaker 1: were tired, you wouldn't be like, oh, Olivia, you have COVID.
Speaker 1: You probably just be like you're exhausted. So I, you know,
Speaker 1: we did not think that Nick was sick, and so
Speaker 1: you know, I feel bad now because it was like
Speaker 1: the last week I had with Nick and and he
Speaker 1: was just sleeping the whole time, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, my lazy husband, Like in my head, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, as any as any woman would do,
Speaker 1: like come on, like, I'm tired too. I'd love to
Speaker 1: take a nap um, but you know, in retrospect, what
Speaker 1: can you do? So yeah, I mean it it and
Speaker 1: then it Yeah. Then I took him to the last
Speaker 1: fital and then that all happened and it was just
Speaker 1: like that storm, you know. Um. To answer your last question,
Speaker 1: the reason why I started talking about on social media
Speaker 1: was because you know, I had a small social media presence,
Speaker 1: like fifty followers at the time, but they were you know,
Speaker 1: very loyal to me and my fitness company and you know,
Speaker 1: COVID was such a scare, especially at that point in time.
Speaker 1: Nick was in the I c U and I hadn't
Speaker 1: talked about it at all yet. I was going on
Speaker 1: air every or on face on sorry, on Instagram every
Speaker 1: day talking about fitness, and I just felt like I
Speaker 1: was living like a lie, Like my life. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can't have like my husband and I see you and
Speaker 1: then every day get on you know, and be like, okay, guys,
Speaker 1: everything's perfect. So I was just like, I gotta comfort
Speaker 1: with this. Also, I think it's important to talk about
Speaker 1: the fact that, like my husband was just tired and
Speaker 1: now he's laying in the I c U and no
Speaker 1: one's staying on the news. That tired is a symptom.
Speaker 1: So that was kind of why I started talking about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you feel like I don't really know much about
Speaker 1: because I don't think I even knew that when that
Speaker 1: was happening, that you were like documented or not documenting,
Speaker 1: but you know, like sharing his journey and your journey
Speaker 1: with that. Did that did that like support or the
Speaker 1: prayers or anything like that that you received from people
Speaker 1: that followed you kind of lift your spirit during that
Speaker 1: time or was it just like I'm just posing this
Speaker 1: and hopes to help somebody that might feel the same way.
Speaker 1: And that's that. Well, it started off as that. It
Speaker 1: started off with I kind of just want to bring
Speaker 1: awareness to something. And then yeah, it literally was like
Speaker 1: an everyday blood of support. It turned into this like
Speaker 1: this army, and and it just kept growing and growing
Speaker 1: and growing and growing, and like literally I don't know
Speaker 1: how I would have gotten through it without all of it, now,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean it was such a daily support
Speaker 1: system of talk to this doctor, you know, go year
Speaker 1: this idea, that idea. Um, you know, any time I
Speaker 1: was questioning what the hospital was doing, I would get
Speaker 1: on Instagram and be like what do you guys think,
Speaker 1: and like people would send me their opinions and options,
Speaker 1: and um, it was it was honestly the best thing
Speaker 1: I could have ever done. And I I didn't even know,
Speaker 1: you know, it was never my intention. It just like
Speaker 1: ended up doing that, you know, like spelling into that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then so after after that all happened, now you're
Speaker 1: doing the talk. Obviously we were on Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 1: How did that all start to transform into like, you know,
Speaker 1: bringing you these opportunities not only just to share your story,
Speaker 1: but to actually provide like real work for you and
Speaker 1: your son, because now you know you're the main provider. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: and and and it's so scary. Yeah. I have a
Speaker 1: new house that now you know Nick is not living
Speaker 1: in with us. Uh, you know, a mortgage, a card payment,
Speaker 1: and and a son and you know, all of a
Speaker 1: sudden and listen, I've always been like, I make my
Speaker 1: money and I can take care of myself kind of
Speaker 1: girl like. And I've always probably you know, been proud
Speaker 1: of that. But um, it definitely once you're you know,
Speaker 1: once you're married, and you and you feel like you
Speaker 1: have that cushion that person, it's hard to go back to. Now. Shoot,
Speaker 1: it's all on you again. Um, Nick passed and I
Speaker 1: think a couple of months went by and the casting
Speaker 1: people at the talk said that they would love to
Speaker 1: come have me guest co host, and um, they said
Speaker 1: to my manager, we actually want her to guest co
Speaker 1: host ten times. And it's too you know, possibly replace.
Speaker 1: You know, we have an open spot on the show.
Speaker 1: So um, here's the contract and and we'll let you
Speaker 1: know by November thirty if she has the job. And
Speaker 1: I think I guess co hosted like around fifteen times,
Speaker 1: and you know, they let me know on November thirty
Speaker 1: that I got the job, and like literally, like Olivia,
Speaker 1: that was I mean, that was such a game changer.
Speaker 1: Like you know, on Broadway, it's never a set job.
Speaker 1: You never know how long your show is gonna run.
Speaker 1: You think you're in the best show ever. The New
Speaker 1: York Times gives you a review and you are closed
Speaker 1: next week, Like you never have stability. So I never
Speaker 1: had stability in my entire life. Getting that phone call
Speaker 1: that day after losing my husband and like you know,
Speaker 1: ironically in a weird way, preparing myself for for this
Speaker 1: job by you know, being a performer my whole life. Um,
Speaker 1: it just felt like kids met and such a blessing,
Speaker 1: Like it was a huge weight off my shoulders because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I have I have
Speaker 1: a job, I have insurance, I have health insurance for
Speaker 1: Elvis and I I have a paycheck each week. I
Speaker 1: I can afford things, I can put money away. It
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, it was such a blessing,
Speaker 1: life changing. Yeah. I feel like that's definitely one of
Speaker 1: those things where it's like everything is happening for a reason.
Speaker 1: And the universe kind of like brought that into your
Speaker 1: life and was like, hey, you need this right now,
Speaker 1: here you go and you're still doing it and it's amazing.
Speaker 1: And then you did Dancing with the Stars, which was
Speaker 1: also incredible to see. I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: listening have you know, lost somebody they love or they've
Speaker 1: gone through something really tough, whether it's been through COVID
Speaker 1: or just life in general. And I'm just curious, like
Speaker 1: because I remember at a really young age losing like
Speaker 1: my grandparents and things like that that really hurt. But
Speaker 1: I haven't I don't think knock on wood, but in
Speaker 1: my life I've really lost somebody that's like you know,
Speaker 1: as an as an adult and that really hit me hard.
Speaker 1: And how how was that like grieving process or what
Speaker 1: would you tell somebody like going through something similar, how
Speaker 1: you kind of got the strength to keep going and
Speaker 1: to keep pushing through. Yeah, um, I would just say
Speaker 1: that it is a process that is your own. You know.
Speaker 1: Day one after losing Nick, I like because on type
Speaker 1: AI googled like how to deal with grief and you know,
Speaker 1: the States, you know, there's a very like these stages
Speaker 1: of grief, and you know, the experts say that you're
Speaker 1: going to feel this week one and feel this week too,
Speaker 1: and um, and what I learned is that none of
Speaker 1: that works for me. Actually, Like you know, you you
Speaker 1: have to it's this roller coaster and you, unfortunately are
Speaker 1: in the car with the seat build on and you
Speaker 1: have no idea when you're going up, down and all
Speaker 1: around and it never ends, like this roller coaster just
Speaker 1: doesn't end. Um. And you have awesome highs and you
Speaker 1: have really low lows and they can last two seconds
Speaker 1: like a roller coaster does. Um. Things I did right
Speaker 1: away just to help myself. First of all, like obviously
Speaker 1: I love fitness, but like working out every day just
Speaker 1: made me feel better. Like the minute I put headphones
Speaker 1: on or turn music on and move my body, oxygen's flowing,
Speaker 1: the bloods flowing. What was on my mind is now
Speaker 1: off my mind and it makes me feel better. And
Speaker 1: then the other thing I did the first two weeks
Speaker 1: after he passed, which I do think really helped, is
Speaker 1: I every day just said it to myself, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do one thing today that makes me happy. If I
Speaker 1: cry the rest of the day, that's fine, But for
Speaker 1: the one one thing a day is going to make
Speaker 1: me happy. So like I went for a walk, I
Speaker 1: mean that sounds dumb, Like went for a walk in
Speaker 1: my old neighborhood because I was at home in Ohio,
Speaker 1: And like I baked a cake one day, like I mean,
Speaker 1: like anything, watched a Hallmark movie one day. I mean
Speaker 1: it was one thing that I knew would make me
Speaker 1: happy that day, um, just to get me through the day.
Speaker 1: Because you literally feel like, especially in the beginning, you
Speaker 1: feel like an astronaut in space. You know that, like
Speaker 1: that awesome image of the astronaut like in his suit
Speaker 1: and he's just like floating like this looking down at Earth. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is what grief feels like. You feel like you're
Speaker 1: in his bubble and no one can hear you, and
Speaker 1: no one can like and people are talking at you,
Speaker 1: but nothing's making sense and you're just like looking down
Speaker 1: at every everyone else living their life and you don't
Speaker 1: even feel like connected to their them, the life, your life,
Speaker 1: the world. So it's just how long did that feeling last?
Speaker 1: Oh God, I hate to say that it lasted a
Speaker 1: good like solid like a month and a half, two months.
Speaker 1: It's like, I think that's like the hardest days to
Speaker 1: try to get through is that, like you just feel
Speaker 1: so removed, you feel like um. And this is the
Speaker 1: other thing that really helped me. You really do feel
Speaker 1: like no one else understands how you feel. And so
Speaker 1: in that moment, what you have to do, or what
Speaker 1: you can do to help yourself is find other people.
Speaker 1: I've connected so much with other widows and widowers, and
Speaker 1: hearing their stories helps me because you they start talking
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, you know exactly how
Speaker 1: I feel. You you also you know this feeling, you
Speaker 1: know what this loss is like, and so then it
Speaker 1: makes you it makes you feel less alone. Totally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like through any like hard situation like that,
Speaker 1: Like I can relate a totally different situation, but I
Speaker 1: can relate to like just going through something and feeling like, Okay,
Speaker 1: nobody actually understands like what I feel inside right now,
Speaker 1: except like my sister who's going through it with me,
Speaker 1: or somebody that just like you know, really gets it.
Speaker 1: Who was like your biggest support, Like who do you
Speaker 1: lean on the most? Like parents? I feel like i'd
Speaker 1: probably know my mom and dad. Yes, my mom and
Speaker 1: dad were huge, My brother and my sisters were huge.
Speaker 1: And then ironically and um this happened when I went
Speaker 1: through a divorce to because I don't know if you
Speaker 1: know that I was married before, I did not know
Speaker 1: that I've had twenty thousand life um uh that it's
Speaker 1: ironically surprising when you go through hard times and maybe
Speaker 1: you felt like this too, there's people that you didn't
Speaker 1: even have in your life before this hard time that
Speaker 1: enter in and become your go to person that help
Speaker 1: you through it and your best friend since age five.
Speaker 1: Not to say that they haven't supported you or been
Speaker 1: there or they aren't also a listening ear, but they
Speaker 1: It's like these weird people that come out of the
Speaker 1: woodworks that end up being that support system. So you know,
Speaker 1: ironically people that were like brand new in my life.
Speaker 1: Was that your ex husband too? No he wasn't, but
Speaker 1: um not he We have a very nice relationship now.
Speaker 1: But the same thing with going through divorce. I heavily
Speaker 1: leaned on my mom and my dad for support with that.
Speaker 1: But like, ironically, when I went through that divorce, it
Speaker 1: was like people who were brand new in my life
Speaker 1: helped me get through that more so than people that
Speaker 1: had been my best friends at the time. It's just
Speaker 1: weird and I think it's also like such a beautiful
Speaker 1: thing to like. Obviously, I've seen like a little Elvis
Speaker 1: around and he's freaking prescious. Like you guys, you don't
Speaker 1: understand her son is so cute? Did he understand that
Speaker 1: you were on Dancing with the Stars and that you
Speaker 1: have this amazing upcoming feature on their tour? You guys
Speaker 1: just going on tour with Dancing with the Stars. But um,
Speaker 1: he he did. He didn't at first, Olivia. At first
Speaker 1: I would be like, um, do you wanna watch Mama dance?
Speaker 1: And you go trash trucks and I go okay. And
Speaker 1: then he started understanding it, and he would ask for
Speaker 1: it and he would say Mama dance. And then towards
Speaker 1: the end, um, he kept going, Mama goes to work
Speaker 1: at Dancing with the Stars. And I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: I am. And then the show and that he kept saying,
Speaker 1: Mama goes to work at Dancing with the Stars. Not
Speaker 1: like that anymore. No, don't remind me quiet, it's over.
Speaker 1: How excited are you for tour? I am? I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: First of all, I'll be celebrating my fortieth birthday with
Speaker 1: the cast there to throw down for you say, better
Speaker 1: throw down. I uh and honestly, what better way to
Speaker 1: like ring in a whole new decade than dancing, and um,
Speaker 1: you know you know how much joy it brings to dance,
Speaker 1: So I'm super excited. It really did also help with
Speaker 1: like the crash of the finale to know that, like
Speaker 1: I will be dancing with Alan again, dancing again, I'll
Speaker 1: be dancing with these people again, So it really did help.
Speaker 1: I'm super, super super excited, and I feel like I've
Speaker 1: toured the country three different times. I don't need to
Speaker 1: do another like three months to her, so like just
Speaker 1: this sweet like two weeks is like perfect, and it's
Speaker 1: still gonna be so much work though, Like even though
Speaker 1: we already know Alan is going to be in the
Speaker 1: studio with you morning tonight making sure this is perfection
Speaker 1: I know. I literally just asked him yesterday. I was like,
Speaker 1: do we need to like refresh some things before you
Speaker 1: leave for tour because then I don't see you till
Speaker 1: like the day before I start. I was like, I
Speaker 1: might want to, like we might need to get the
Speaker 1: rehearsal room and just like go over these three days.
Speaker 1: But you know him, I was like, but I also
Speaker 1: know you and you're not gonna be happy with my
Speaker 1: refreshing totally. Are you guys doing some of the dances
Speaker 1: you did on the show. Yeah, we're gonna do so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we do three of three of them. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Where is the tour? Um? The tour is? The tour is?
Speaker 1: I joined in Coasta, Mesa. It goes to like Santa Rosa,
Speaker 1: San Jose, I think, and then like Seattle, Boise, Salt
Speaker 1: Lake City, so pretty much stays on this West coast
Speaker 1: and then does like the California coast. Um in the meantime,
Speaker 1: what are like some of the goals you have for like,
Speaker 1: you know, the new year, new fresh start, the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Do you have anything that like you're really trying to channel?
Speaker 1: You know, I will say that I love for escopes
Speaker 1: and what sign are you? You? Just you just had
Speaker 1: your birthday? That's right? Okay. I'm a Pisces And for
Speaker 1: any Pisces that are listening, this is our Emerald year, guys,
Speaker 1: which means, yes, this is a big deal. It means
Speaker 1: that this is your year. Like everything amazing is happening
Speaker 1: to us this year, and specifically the months of February
Speaker 1: and March. My birthday is March nineteen. Um, it's a
Speaker 1: big deal. It means like you find the love of
Speaker 1: your life, you get your amazing job, like career explosive,
Speaker 1: like the professional in life, everything explode. That's your Emerald year.
Speaker 1: So that's all I will say, Olivia, I am giving
Speaker 1: it up to my emerald year. The universe. You should.
Speaker 1: You should just really channel it. I'm only wearing green. Yes,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, So what is that? Is that just
Speaker 1: like supposed to be because I don't really know much
Speaker 1: about horoscopes um, which my sister would be very disappointed
Speaker 1: to hear because she's super into all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: Emerald year just means that, like it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: positive and a certain amount of time, like yes, we
Speaker 1: all every I could use my don't know if you
Speaker 1: have to look it out? Was aquarious? Is? So now
Speaker 1: it is the it's pisces um. Just honestly, just look
Speaker 1: it up. You'll be You'll be riveted. It's very fun.
Speaker 1: I need to get into this, like I really do.
Speaker 1: I think it's so fascinating too, because I am a
Speaker 1: huge believer in the universe and manifestation and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But I just I feel like, also, you know, it's
Speaker 1: been really weird that's been happening to me lately. I'll
Speaker 1: think of somebody so much to a point where like
Speaker 1: I'll run into them, or like I'll get it. I
Speaker 1: was thinking, guys, I run into Amanda last week. We
Speaker 1: were both going to a little shopping event. And it's
Speaker 1: because I was thinking about her every single day. It
Speaker 1: was like, I really want Amanda, Amanda, and now I
Speaker 1: got it. I got what I wanted. What was like
Speaker 1: the biggest I guess, just going back a little bit
Speaker 1: with Alan, what was like the biggest or best memory
Speaker 1: you guys made together. I don't even know if I
Speaker 1: could answer that if somebody asked me what mine was,
Speaker 1: but yeah, here I am. You know, I think it
Speaker 1: was um. I'm pretty sure he would say this same,
Speaker 1: But I think it was um, you know that week
Speaker 1: of of the dance for Live Your Life, because you know,
Speaker 1: we emotionally, I mean, I was pretty much crying every day.
Speaker 1: I think he uh, you know, And I sat down
Speaker 1: with him Olivia and gave him like the full story.
Speaker 1: He didn't really know it. I showed him pictures and
Speaker 1: things that no one has ever seen except for my family.
Speaker 1: I think Um, you know, we had to kind of
Speaker 1: go to that place, and I think that it just
Speaker 1: really solidified um a lot a bit, you know, just
Speaker 1: like took everything to like a much deeper level with
Speaker 1: our relationship and our friendships. So, um, I think that
Speaker 1: that's definitely, yeah, the memory the biggest standout moment. And
Speaker 1: what is upcoming besides Dancing with the Stars tour? And
Speaker 1: then I'll let you go because I know you're a
Speaker 1: big bass woman, boss, I have another interview. Um, uh,
Speaker 1: what's up becoming? I am working on a children's book.
Speaker 1: I'm excited about that, yes, um, and uh, some other
Speaker 1: things that I can't talk about, but um, yeah, the
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars tour and my children's book. And
Speaker 1: then honestly, just so happy to still be, you know,
Speaker 1: every day doing the talk and working with this amazing
Speaker 1: group of people here at the talk. It's been so fun.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: on you guys. Make sure to follow Amanda on Instagram,
Speaker 1: keep up with her, follow her journey on this tour
Speaker 1: and the talk and the children's books. She's got so
Speaker 1: much going on. And you just said the stuff you
Speaker 1: can't even speak about, which means there's more, so you
Speaker 1: guys have to tune in and check it out. She's amazing.
Speaker 1: I love you, Thank you for coming on. You miss
Speaker 1: you already. Bye. Oh my gosh, the biggest thank you
Speaker 1: to Amanda for coming on. I love her so much.
Speaker 1: She is so inspiring to me. And if you guys
Speaker 1: have the chance to ever meet her or talk to
Speaker 1: her in person, I know you guys would all feel
Speaker 1: the same because her energy is just infectious. So big,
Speaker 1: big thank you to her for coming on, and make
Speaker 1: sure you guys tune in next week. You guys know
Speaker 1: the Drill weekly episodes and we'll chat then. Peace.