Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold Up. It's a podcast that's
Speaker 2: a lot about nothing. I'm one of your hosts. I'm
Speaker 2: Josh Johnson. I'm a right for the Daily Show, and
Speaker 2: I'm joined by my co host Will face Long.
Speaker 1: What's up? What's up?
Speaker 3: What's up?
Speaker 1: What's up? What's up? Ladies?
Speaker 2: How you doing?
Speaker 1: Sprang both my ankles. But other than that, I'm good.
Speaker 2: Other than that, yeah, fire doing well.
Speaker 1: Just out here, just living. Doc. Shout out to City MD.
Speaker 1: Because the other urgent care I was going to I
Speaker 1: think what it was, probably trying to kill me. But
Speaker 1: they gave me these braces to put on my ankles,
Speaker 1: and my friend sent me. Then my homegirl, a homegirl
Speaker 1: who I consider a sister. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: They call this bitch my sister on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: This human being. You ever seen Forrest Gump, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know that part of the movie where he's running and
Speaker 1: his leg braces start breaking off. Be friends with comics.
Speaker 1: They said it'll be fun, they said, this heifer. Not
Speaker 1: only first she sent me the voice memo. First she
Speaker 1: sent me a voice memo, go and run for us.
Speaker 4: Run.
Speaker 1: So if you haven't seen my Instagram. This is what
Speaker 1: the leg braces look like. Okay, strapped up of iced out,
Speaker 1: you understand, double strapped. Okay. The blessing is every day
Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little bit better because I don't have
Speaker 1: a fracture nothing.
Speaker 3: I do know.
Speaker 1: I have a bone spur on my right foot. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the fuck that is, but apparently don't
Speaker 1: cause a problem. So other than that, I'm straight. How
Speaker 1: are you doing all your are your are your muscles
Speaker 1: and limbs working correctly?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I feel I feel all right. So today
Speaker 2: m hmm, this week's episode m this chapter in our friendship,
Speaker 2: this crossroads that we're at, yeah, is bananas versus plantains
Speaker 2: because you tried it, because I tried.
Speaker 1: Because you tried it, like a free sample at a
Speaker 1: cost coat on a Sunday, try dent.
Speaker 2: I like how I could feel. I could feel how
Speaker 2: you've been saved that up. I could I could feel
Speaker 2: like as you were doing you were too excited for
Speaker 2: the steps. You like the here and the here. I
Speaker 2: can feel you waiting. You wanted to say it the
Speaker 2: other day when I said this, and then you waited,
Speaker 2: and then you did it just.
Speaker 1: Now because This is where it's applical. But you understand,
Speaker 1: like when I tell somebody, don't play with me, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm not made by Nintendo or Parker Brothers. I did
Speaker 1: not come with a controller or dice. Do not play
Speaker 1: with me. You understand. You know what, We're not starting
Speaker 1: in the right place, because if this is anybody's first
Speaker 1: time listening to this podcast, it's coming real hard. You know,
Speaker 1: there feels like there's a lot of aggression. Honestly, is
Speaker 1: not the point. It's for the people to know. It's
Speaker 1: for the people to know sometimes to learn to educate. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is teachable.
Speaker 2: Moments, right teach you why plantains just don't have it.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna let you start. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let you start last episode I started because you always
Speaker 1: a last episode. I started with my vanilla and you
Speaker 1: are the one that attacked me about this banana plantain ship.
Speaker 1: So you.
Speaker 2: Counselor, not the faith.
Speaker 1: It's actually just a simple white you know. You counselor
Speaker 1: will start with your opening statement before I come before
Speaker 1: the Jewelrys and tell them how I feel like. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: talk about your little bananas.
Speaker 2: Call ahead, go ahead, my little bananas okay. First of all,
Speaker 2: bananas high empathizeiam, high and deliciousness, okay, can help you
Speaker 2: regulate your blood. Sugar can be life saving, all right.
Speaker 2: If somebody went into a bit of a sugar shock,
Speaker 2: all right, and you had a little piece of banana,
Speaker 2: you put that in your mouth and you make them
Speaker 2: chew it. You chomp, chomp, chomp their mouth for them. Boom,
Speaker 2: they wake up like an episode of Wishbone.
Speaker 1: Nah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not an
Speaker 1: episode of Wishbone.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying bananas. They also, well they do. They
Speaker 2: stay cheap. Okay, they should be cheaper. They should actually
Speaker 2: be cheaper than they are right now. But that's the
Speaker 2: cartels business, and I'm not gonna get into it.
Speaker 1: A man, don't speak on nothing. That's none of your business.
Speaker 2: Yeah. All I'm saying is market price versus real price.
Speaker 2: They're very cheap and they should be cheaper. Also, your
Speaker 2: favorite treats, don't they have a banana flavor. I've never
Speaker 2: seen a plantain flavored candy.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, uh huh, you keep going, keep going. You
Speaker 1: know what I was gonna start. I'm gonna I'm taking notes,
Speaker 1: is what I'm doing. That's where I'm doing you banana
Speaker 1: flavored kit.
Speaker 2: You know, wow, Like just so people know, you know
Speaker 2: all the time that they'll say, I've been friends. She's
Speaker 2: never wanted to curse me out as much as she
Speaker 2: does right now, Like I could like the same way
Speaker 2: that I could feel her saving up that comeback. I
Speaker 2: can feel how much she wants to swear as she's
Speaker 2: going to get back because she knows what it will
Speaker 2: look like to the people. If she just starts cursing
Speaker 2: at me minute five about fruit, about fruit, so then
Speaker 2: it doesn't look like friends. If she just starts letting
Speaker 2: me have it with all the all the swear words
Speaker 2: in the Sailor's Handbook, admit at five or fruit. So
Speaker 2: I appreciate the restract, but I can also see the pullback.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: What else?
Speaker 1: What you got candy?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, candy flace. Also some of your favorite treats
Speaker 2: when it comes to the puddings, all right, A great
Speaker 2: banana pudding, Anila wafer pudding, Okay, a pie cream?
Speaker 5: What I mean?
Speaker 2: How many how many things? Bananas so versatile? How many
Speaker 2: things do you want me to list? Where do you
Speaker 2: want me to go? Where do you want me to stop.
Speaker 2: You're talking about the versatility. So the versatility, the versatility matters,
Speaker 2: it matters in the greatness. Okay, okay. Also the accessibility,
Speaker 2: it's very cheap. All right, they ripen. Well, we're not
Speaker 2: talking about avocados. We're not talking about something where I'm
Speaker 2: a cracking open and then just scream in my kitchen
Speaker 2: like I've lost my mind. Okay, we can watch the
Speaker 2: banana ripen.
Speaker 6: Also, I'll even put this out there, all right, I'll
Speaker 6: wrap up the opening argument with the fact that when
Speaker 6: people even see a plantain, a lot of the world,
Speaker 6: a lot of the world.
Speaker 2: In the grocery store is seeing their first plantain for
Speaker 2: the first time. They're like, damn, that banana's big. They
Speaker 2: don't even respect the fact that the plantain is a
Speaker 2: different thing. I've watched people buy a platain and this
Speaker 2: actually did that. Boy my friends what time. It was
Speaker 2: very funny. He bought a plantain, didn't know it. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm not always a good friend, and so I
Speaker 2: let him eat it. So I so he break open
Speaker 2: the plantain and he like, Hugh, He's like, oh, this
Speaker 2: banana nasty.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's it's because it's not it's
Speaker 2: a it's a different thing.
Speaker 1: Ooh yeah, ooh, Josh Johnson, I didn't know that you
Speaker 1: had it in you.
Speaker 2: He also kept calling it a planting, even though I
Speaker 2: said plantain from the from the.
Speaker 1: People say planting. It runs through me. Also, it's people
Speaker 1: when people say salmon, Yeah, yeah, uh sword ooh.
Speaker 2: You'll you'll see a preacher say sword, and you kind
Speaker 2: of stop. Respective of its usually a preacher. Honestly, it's
Speaker 2: usually a preacher. And every time it happens, I hear
Speaker 2: sword and I'm like, you haven't finished that book. Don't
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 1: Then the book he means, is the Bible. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: sword of God will make me get up and leave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so what And mind you, I lived.
Speaker 1: In a place like I'm originally from Miami, right, so
Speaker 1: I grew up in Atlanta and Miami, and I remember
Speaker 1: hearing Scrawberry streeked, Ambulaps Library, m h and they were
Speaker 1: more acceptable to me than salmon.
Speaker 2: And sword.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's just something so offensive about it. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: So John a crest a salmon with a sword going
Speaker 2: through it, just on a strawberry, a strawberry handle.
Speaker 1: I can't just Oh, usually got this strawberry crest with
Speaker 1: a sword and a salmon. I hate Josh Johnson. Oh
Speaker 1: you just trying to this. So this is my NOOKI
Speaker 1: if you buck trophy, that's what you're trying to do
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: It's not gonna be a trophy. It's gonna be a jacket. Ah.
Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, So is this your closing statement.
Speaker 2: I'll wait till the very end to close, but I
Speaker 2: will end my opening.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: Because of how I grew up and where I grew up.
Speaker 1: I do about plantains very early. Right now, some people
Speaker 1: only know about the plantain when they get it with
Speaker 1: some of the Jamaican food or Cuban food. You know,
Speaker 1: use like a cribbean food, right, only West Africa. Now,
Speaker 1: some people, now, let's go so you mentioned this sweet,
Speaker 1: let's go into the versatility. Okay. Now, a lot of
Speaker 1: places they just do the sweet and that's in Spanish
Speaker 1: they call it lutos. Right, and my mom made a
Speaker 1: lot like Cuban food, Caribbean food growing up, just because
Speaker 1: we're from Miami, and so we talk about the versatility.
Speaker 1: Bananas can only do sweet that's the only thing they
Speaker 1: can do, right. I don't know like you side like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know even roll your eyes like that, because
Speaker 1: you have you not had toast on this mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Bananas cannot mostly do.
Speaker 1: Not mostly not mostly did you got you got your
Speaker 1: what you say banana flavored candy, which we all know
Speaker 1: is nasty banana We know the banana flavored runt, disgusting.
Speaker 2: And slander man lies and slander excepted.
Speaker 1: Said flies first of all lies, lies, lies, banana now.
Speaker 3: Gross.
Speaker 1: You all know banana nahilators were discussed.
Speaker 2: The thing is this is this is this.
Speaker 1: Oh wait wait wait, I let you go on, go on.
Speaker 1: I let you make your open a statement. I let
Speaker 1: you make your open a statement.
Speaker 2: I'm with you. You were asking me a question. I thought
Speaker 2: I was answered, I engaged, did some conversation. But you're right,
Speaker 2: You're right, You're right. You all know, because I don't
Speaker 2: want to get too fucked over banana flavored go ahead
Speaker 2: candy disgusting.
Speaker 1: We all know when you get runts you would throw
Speaker 1: them bananas across the movie there gross gross, the banana
Speaker 1: dollen lator who wants a banana narenlator? Ain't nobody eating
Speaker 1: banana nuren laters. I think they might even discontinue the flavor.
Speaker 1: Tell me what other banana flavor candy is there other
Speaker 1: than the runt and the dollen lator. Who else out
Speaker 1: here making mamba? Is mamba making banana flavor candy?
Speaker 2: Yes, trash? Who else? You didn't even know until I said,
Speaker 2: I believe Starburst.
Speaker 1: Starburs ain't got banana flavor.
Speaker 2: Nothing Starburst had. The yellow is banana, the yellow is lying,
Speaker 2: it's lemon. The yellows lemon.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Wow.
Speaker 1: You're telling me your knowledge of a Starburst is so
Speaker 1: limited that you did not know that the yellow Starburst
Speaker 1: was leomon. Wow.
Speaker 2: Wow, there's banana flavored ice cream?
Speaker 1: Who was eating that?
Speaker 2: There's banana flavored laughing taffing.
Speaker 1: So when you're talking about banana candies, you're really out
Speaker 1: here talking about the things that are thrown away the
Speaker 1: most often. Yeah, versatility. Now, like I said, show me
Speaker 1: a situation, because even banana chips are sweet, So show
Speaker 1: me a situation where the banana is used in a
Speaker 1: non sweet situation.
Speaker 2: The dehydrated banana chips are not.
Speaker 1: Sweet because they're not sweetened, but they're still sweet.
Speaker 2: I mean banana can't help the sugar that it comes with.
Speaker 1: Okay, there we go. Banana can only do what banana
Speaker 1: can do, and banana's giving you one note.
Speaker 2: Banana said, no, no, banana can blame them for the
Speaker 2: sugar that it has.
Speaker 1: I'm not blaming them for the sugar that it has.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is because of the sugar that it has,
Speaker 1: it's only giving you one note. Right, No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: Banana can only give you sweet, less sweet or a
Speaker 1: lot of sweet, right, because you know when a banana
Speaker 1: turned brown, it basically just condenses down into nothing. Right,
Speaker 1: So let's talk about the versatilities.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, I really don't like it. I'm
Speaker 2: with your enjoy this.
Speaker 1: You are talking to someone who does not fuck with bananas,
Speaker 1: has not really fucked with banana since I was a child,
Speaker 1: never been a fan. My mom would baya and my
Speaker 1: brother would eat them, okay, and every time I couldn't
Speaker 1: finish one. Because now you're plantain, you're blot on. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you about the plantain. Okay, let me tell
Speaker 1: you what the plantain is doing in these streets, on
Speaker 1: these islands, from continent to continent, from seed to shining seed.
Speaker 1: All right there talking about versatility your plantain, because you know,
Speaker 1: when the banana's green, you can't eat it, right, You
Speaker 1: have to wait till it's yellow. You gotta wait for
Speaker 1: it to get little little spots on it, little speckles,
Speaker 1: little little freckles, you know, little pigmentation, little melanin coming
Speaker 1: up in your fruit before you can eat it, before
Speaker 1: it gets too stuff. Your plantain can be eaten at
Speaker 1: all of these stages. You can need a plantain when
Speaker 1: it's green. You need a plantain when it's yellow. You
Speaker 1: can need a plantain when it is brown and black
Speaker 1: as shit. In fact, you can get multiple things. So
Speaker 1: this is the thing. You can turn green plant teams
Speaker 1: you've got tossed on it right, fried, you've got my fungo. Right,
Speaker 1: you take it your soak a little salt, smash it, boom,
Speaker 1: fry it. You take a plantain green, you cut it up,
Speaker 1: you soak it in a little salt water, or you
Speaker 1: don't have to, you know, it depends on what you're
Speaker 1: doing with your heart. Then press it down, put it
Speaker 1: in some oil. Boom, you can boil it up, use
Speaker 1: it a thick in the stew. Also, you can dry it,
Speaker 1: turn it in the flour. When I do the Daniel
Speaker 1: fast every year, I can't use wheat flour. I got
Speaker 1: plantain flour in here, making pancakes, making muskins, all right
Speaker 1: out here doing the work. Then you know, like you
Speaker 1: can put it into a stew, thicking the stew up. Okay,
Speaker 1: you do my fungo. You mix it up with some meat,
Speaker 1: put it on the plate. Next with some rice. Dam
Speaker 1: you're doing that. Put in soows, put it in soups. Okay,
Speaker 1: with a little yuk or krassavo. You got some more plantains.
Speaker 1: Keep living it. Get dirt, keep living the get dirt.
Speaker 1: Put them in a plastic bag. Forget about them. Forget
Speaker 1: about them. Lift that skin. Look like it's had a
Speaker 1: long vacation at the beach. I'm talking about black. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about my tumbo. You take it out of there, bam,
Speaker 1: and now it's delicious and sweet. Fry that up and
Speaker 1: now you've got my doodles or sweet plateins. So you
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. If I got a couple of
Speaker 1: different plantains, okay, I can make an appetizer, a main
Speaker 1: course and a dessert from one fucking fruit. I'm out
Speaker 1: here doing iron chefing, this bitch with one ingredient, giving
Speaker 1: you everything that you need. Okay, I've given you savory,
Speaker 1: I've given you sweet. Also, when you want to bring
Speaker 1: up potassium, plantain has just as much potassium as a
Speaker 1: fucking banana. We want to talk about vitamins and minerals.
Speaker 2: It seems like no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: It seems like I gave you everything. Oh, he's talk
Speaker 1: about how it ripens. Plantain's ripen the same way banana ripers.
Speaker 1: Because that's what When a banana is too ripe, he
Speaker 1: gets super super mushy, and you can't do shit with it.
Speaker 1: Either make banana bread or give it over to somebody
Speaker 1: with no teeth. Okay, that's what you can do with
Speaker 1: the overripe banana. Over ripe broon tin fry that bitch up,
Speaker 1: fried up, and you have a delicious treat. Okay. So
Speaker 1: I had everything you was talking about, Yet everything was
Speaker 1: talk about because can you do not? Can you deny
Speaker 1: that the banana cannot do savory and sweet but the
Speaker 1: plantain can.
Speaker 2: What I'll tell you. What I'll tell you is that
Speaker 2: the banana I don't see it doing savory. I also
Speaker 2: barely see the plantain doing sweet.
Speaker 1: Okay, you got everybody fucked up. Everybody knows you lit
Speaker 1: that skin on that plantain get dark and you just
Speaker 1: let it be itself. Banana gotta hop into candies and splits. Okay,
Speaker 1: all this other shit now, No, there may not be
Speaker 1: a plantain pudding that we know about, but there's a
Speaker 1: lot of products in the world. I don't know if
Speaker 1: people out here making sweet plantain putting. I don't know,
Speaker 1: because think about how wild a banana pudding could be. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised the Southerner hasn't thought of as yet, like
Speaker 1: taking the like a banana and the banana pudding and
Speaker 1: like frying them up a bit and then putting them
Speaker 1: into pudding. You don't have to watre the bananas and
Speaker 1: banana putting just get mushy and gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, them just looking.
Speaker 1: At your cousin, they get disgusted you out looking about
Speaker 1: your cousin.
Speaker 2: I guess my thing is just And look, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying that it is going to always be disgusting. I
Speaker 2: just the sweet plantains that I've had have been fine.
Speaker 2: It may just not be for me. I respect that
Speaker 2: people like it. I like that people like it I
Speaker 2: love when people like different things. But for me, plantain
Speaker 2: can do savory, it's not really doing sweet, not at
Speaker 2: the level of banana.
Speaker 1: Because the banana can only do one That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: The banana only has one gear. It doesn't have the
Speaker 1: option to do anything else. If you make banana chips,
Speaker 1: banana chips gonna be sweet or more sweet. Right, It's
Speaker 1: not versatile. It's just not. It could be something you
Speaker 1: eat in your hand or something that you see. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite thing to see in a grown man
Speaker 1: try try to eat a banana.
Speaker 5: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: Cries Listen.
Speaker 1: You know he really just wants to bite into it.
Speaker 2: Here is it?
Speaker 1: A man going to eat a banana and he goes
Speaker 1: to bite into it, and then he looks around it
Speaker 1: sees that people could see him eating his banana. So
Speaker 1: now he has to break it off into pieces and
Speaker 1: put it in his mouth like he's eating chicken nuggets
Speaker 1: because he's not bold enough to just bite into a
Speaker 1: fucking banana.
Speaker 2: I think you need to start hanging around different men.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, this isn't a man that I knew.
Speaker 2: You'm just saying. I don't. I wouldn't even want to
Speaker 2: be on the same block as somebody who's like, oh no,
Speaker 2: let me break this off because I don't want to
Speaker 2: body thinking that.
Speaker 1: Listen, you've never heard a niggas say pause before he
Speaker 1: ate a banana?
Speaker 2: Not in person?
Speaker 1: No, bro, it is the wildest thing. Sometimes I feel
Speaker 1: bad for men like you just want to eat this
Speaker 1: thing sideways. Like, what's happening, bro, It's very high.
Speaker 2: Eating the banana sideways. That's that's insane.
Speaker 1: So when we were talking about these.
Speaker 2: Phallic fruits, do you think then that if it was
Speaker 2: put to the people, which we will do at the
Speaker 2: end of the episode, do you think that, as far
Speaker 2: as fruits go, bananas are more popular than plantains.
Speaker 1: I think it's because of the country.
Speaker 3: We live in.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm saying in the world, though, do you think
Speaker 2: that because because you're telling me things about plantains that
Speaker 2: I didn't know the dishes. I didn't know all the
Speaker 2: dishes you were asking me. Have I had certain dishes
Speaker 2: that haven't happened. Yeah, So I'm asking if you factored
Speaker 2: in the whole world, not just the US, and you
Speaker 2: put the two fruits up against each other, which one
Speaker 2: do you think would be more popular?
Speaker 1: I think the plantain would be more popular because of
Speaker 1: the versatility of the plantain. Plantain chips and some qualk.
Speaker 2: Oh listen, see plantain chips don't do it for me. Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's just something.
Speaker 1: That I've had some bad ones. I've had some bad ones.
Speaker 2: I can tell you that, Yeah, crumble three times. Huh,
Speaker 2: I've only ever had it three times.
Speaker 1: I can tell you if you want to try a
Speaker 1: good plantain ship, go to inpan out of Mama. They
Speaker 1: got a high quality plant chain ship and that you
Speaker 1: know over at that joint in that organization. This is
Speaker 1: something that a ali growing up. So I think it
Speaker 1: also is like your proximity to it, how often you
Speaker 1: had it as a child. It's just something you don't like.
Speaker 1: I don't genuinely I don't like the flavor of a banana.
Speaker 1: I'm like the texture of a banana. So I think
Speaker 1: I like a plantain because the the flavor is more
Speaker 1: because like I feel like bananas are an overpowering flavor.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you know, they're like, oh, we've got to we
Speaker 1: have to have like these you know, the smoothie somebody,
Speaker 1: Uh it's one of the smoothie places, and like, oh,
Speaker 1: we use the banana as a base. And I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you cannot put enough fruit in this thing for me
Speaker 1: to taste all the banana you done put in this bitch.
Speaker 2: Look, you keep coming at and disrespecting the superior flavor.
Speaker 1: It's not superior, and it's anything that it takes over
Speaker 1: other shit. You see what I'm saying. If you're telling
Speaker 1: me that I'm gonna get a pineapple mango smoothie, don't
Speaker 1: give me a banana smoothie with a suggestion. Don't give
Speaker 1: me a don't drop into my mind, oh bad, Don't
Speaker 1: give me a whisper of mango an aftras of pineapple.
Speaker 2: Give me the fruit.
Speaker 1: Now, it's bananas overpowering, it takes over. That's why when
Speaker 1: I make my smoothie is my nutrition has told me
Speaker 1: to freeze the bananas, not not to change the texture
Speaker 1: of it, but to subdue the flavor of the bananas
Speaker 1: so it does not overtake my smoothie experience.
Speaker 2: Help me out, then, why is it banana's fault that
Speaker 2: the rest of these fruits are on struggle?
Speaker 1: Hold on? Now, you know a mango and a pineapple
Speaker 1: come out here kicking and scream. Okay, don't act like
Speaker 1: that a pineapple get giving you coladas?
Speaker 2: They're giving They're giving overpowered, aren't they? Aren't they getting
Speaker 2: overpowered easily?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Now why is that happening?
Speaker 1: You know what? I will attract this statement your honor
Speaker 1: only because you know, when you eat something and there's
Speaker 1: something you don't like in it, the first thing you
Speaker 1: taste is the thing you don't like.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's what's happened. Maybe, so I will have of
Speaker 1: attract my previous statement. But what I will say. What
Speaker 1: I will say is that the planting gives you a
Speaker 1: lot of flavors. It gives you a lot of options.
Speaker 1: It gives you a lot of things that you can
Speaker 1: do that the banana does not.
Speaker 2: It does give you a lot of meal options that
Speaker 2: the banana does not. I I'm not even disputing. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying, if we're talking about greatness, all right.
Speaker 1: God, greatness? You think that a fruit you unzip is
Speaker 1: greater than this other fruit that you unzip? Come on,
Speaker 1: all you've given me is nasty?
Speaker 2: Can you? I've given you peak flavors.
Speaker 1: Banana laffie taffy should be burned in a trash fire.
Speaker 2: Anybody, this is the other thing this is my nana Laie.
Speaker 1: Taffy shouldn't even donated to the needy.
Speaker 2: That's stop.
Speaker 1: Stop if you're giving out banana candy at Halloween all
Speaker 1: the tops.
Speaker 2: When you're saying you put a.
Speaker 1: Razor blade in my apple, I t I would take
Speaker 1: a razor blade in an apple before I took a
Speaker 1: packet of banana.
Speaker 2: Affritat How and dare.
Speaker 1: I think you wanted to say, how very dare you?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: Look my thing listen, you're think.
Speaker 5: Gonna be wrong?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no. My thing is you can take
Speaker 2: a banana to the head off the rip when you
Speaker 2: one zip. All right, plantain has to be manipulated. It
Speaker 2: has to be heated, it has to be dried. It
Speaker 2: has to be cool. That has to be mushed. It
Speaker 2: has to be all these things because on its own baseline,
Speaker 2: straight out the earth, the way that the lure gave
Speaker 2: it to us. All right, but it's not edibles. You're
Speaker 2: not just biting into a plantain, So as you get
Speaker 2: a hold of one, that's not what's happening.
Speaker 1: But you can't eat a green anything unless it's apple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm saying, even when the plantain is ripe
Speaker 2: and ready it's ready to still get worked on. It's
Speaker 2: still like what your fruit does is a relay race.
Speaker 2: What my fruit does is a sprint. Just throwing it
Speaker 2: out there, just saying, if you want a banana, eat
Speaker 2: immediately in the.
Speaker 1: Same In the same way that you can eat a
Speaker 1: banana raw, okay, once it's ripe and zip it, eat it,
Speaker 1: you can eat a plantain like that. Most people are dumb.
Speaker 2: Should you can't? I know what I'm saying. You can,
Speaker 2: But should you just because you can do something that
Speaker 2: means you should do something? Is that what you do?
Speaker 2: Are you out here just taking plantains as soon as
Speaker 2: you see them, ripping them open, biting them down. That's
Speaker 2: not what you do.
Speaker 1: We all know that you got to let a plantain
Speaker 1: get ripe.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, even when it's ripe, right, are you just
Speaker 2: biting into it or in the dis.
Speaker 1: There are other people that eat it another way. I
Speaker 1: don't eat sashimi, but there are other people out here
Speaker 1: eating fish fresh after are just hand in ocean. I'm
Speaker 1: not that person, doc.
Speaker 2: So why do they are when they bite into it?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: That's a great question.
Speaker 2: You said it three times and I let it slide.
Speaker 1: That is an amazing question, Brick.
Speaker 2: I would love if the first time you watch someone
Speaker 2: eat sashimi they just to themselves quietly. When are are.
Speaker 1: When you imitate somebody eating, does it make noise?
Speaker 2: Depends. There's some people. If I'm talking about how they
Speaker 2: were eating, I just make the face of how they
Speaker 2: were eating. But if I'm talking about like, okay, so
Speaker 2: this is to digress, this is very funny to me.
Speaker 2: This is like, this is like peak funny to me. Okay,
Speaker 2: So my uncle, where he would be eat and stuff,
Speaker 2: he would.
Speaker 1: Sil This is the same uncle that opened his foot
Speaker 1: with a microwave to take soup out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Got it. If you are not aware of Josh Johnson's comedy,
Speaker 1: he tells a joke about his uncle burning his foot
Speaker 1: with soup. Yeah, because he had a microwave on the floor,
Speaker 1: which is one of the most uncle things you can do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's done that with life together counter and he
Speaker 2: does have a counter, that's why it's on the floor.
Speaker 1: But he literally could have just used the box that
Speaker 1: the microwave came in. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: He has options. He chooses to live like this.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. So yeah, his uncle uses his foot.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, it's like, but so he used
Speaker 1: the foot to take the bowl out the micro because
Speaker 1: he could have just been over.
Speaker 2: This is why men can't be So then whenever he's
Speaker 2: eating something he really loves, like loves, loves, loves, so
Speaker 2: the bobbler's heart like a little kid loves. He can't
Speaker 2: eat something good without humping sod so. But it's not
Speaker 2: a musical hum. It's a creepy hump. So then he'll
Speaker 2: bite it like and it's consistent, like a dying car
Speaker 2: from a distance. Yep, it's not a hume like. It's
Speaker 2: none of those. It's just him biting and just and
Speaker 2: if you break it up, he will act like he
Speaker 2: doesn't hear it.
Speaker 1: I do know. I was in college that the first
Speaker 1: time I saw a grown man do that. This guy
Speaker 1: was like working with the theater. He was like in
Speaker 1: one of our shows, were like a grown adult man.
Speaker 1: He had ice cream and he had a song in
Speaker 1: his heart. Jack yet been everything. He had a whole
Speaker 1: little It wasn't a song or something, but he was.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what's what's going on? And She's like,
Speaker 1: oh what, I eat things that I like. I like
Speaker 1: to hum about it. I was like, Okay, live your life.
Speaker 5: Friend.
Speaker 2: Did you see the thing on Instagram where that bride?
Speaker 2: They were filled with that bride and she was enjoying
Speaker 2: her wedding bell and so she was like this and
Speaker 2: she was chewing and then she saw the camera.
Speaker 1: She was like, I think I saw her. She's like, hey, yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: it's your wedding day and your food is good. Bitch
Speaker 1: turned up like, ah, listen, if I get a wedding day,
Speaker 1: if the Lord provides, I'm acting fool on my wedding day,
Speaker 1: jack ibody, have a slipping slide of this, bitch. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what could happen. All right,
Speaker 1: this is gonna end up accidentally being a wedding the
Speaker 1: last two days. Who knows. We're gonna be eating, We're
Speaker 1: gonna be drinking. The DJ gonna be lit. There will
Speaker 1: not be a band because I hate bands at weddings.
Speaker 1: M hm oh. There's nothing more annoying than a fucking
Speaker 1: band and the wedding.
Speaker 2: What's the what's the difference to the do that DJ? Don't?
Speaker 2: If the band is good, what's no.
Speaker 1: Because the band is limited in what they can play.
Speaker 2: But if you have a list.
Speaker 1: The band cannot play swag surf and can they?
Speaker 2: We don't know that. Don't bring the right instruments. Josh
Speaker 2: bring the swag, Joshua, bring the surfboard.
Speaker 1: Joshua, Elizabeth Johnson. If you believe Joshua Elizabeth Johnson, I
Speaker 1: will not be treated this way, you fucking dare unless
Speaker 1: this is a band that can play. I gotta have
Speaker 1: a black band. I have a black not like a
Speaker 1: wedding band, just like a black band, a band at
Speaker 1: a black wedding. Here can a band play the wobble?
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this with you. I don't
Speaker 1: want to do this with you. You, Bobby can't even electric slide,
Speaker 1: Ah Elizabeth, I can't. I can't.
Speaker 2: So you're just gonna go ahead and attack me off properly,
Speaker 2: properly care electric slide. So I guess my thing.
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 2: That bananas are still cheaper than plantains.
Speaker 1: Well, plantains aren't sold by the bunch.
Speaker 2: But doesn't that make them much more expensive by not
Speaker 2: selling them by the bunch?
Speaker 1: I don't know what's the unit price versus by the pound.
Speaker 2: The last time I checked, bananas were twenty nine cents
Speaker 2: a pound, and organic bananas were forty nine cents a pound. Okay,
Speaker 2: and so what are plantains usually going for?
Speaker 1: The plantain is cheaper? Got anything else, Elizabeth?
Speaker 2: You guys are gonna read they be out this podcast.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, you try. I'll say this. I have
Speaker 1: been amazed at how hard you have worked to present
Speaker 1: your banana argument. I mean you even wore a banana
Speaker 1: yellow hoodie.
Speaker 3: Mh.
Speaker 2: I came through fully because.
Speaker 1: You were worried I was gonna say something about this hoodie.
Speaker 3: I'm not scared of you.
Speaker 1: Good because people act like that. I'm not a nice lady, Josh.
Speaker 1: So listen, we're gonna kick this over to you, the listeners,
Speaker 1: because Josh has really just dedicated himself to just losing.
Speaker 4: What the delay on that was beautiful?
Speaker 2: Bananas are great if you agree, let us know.
Speaker 1: All right, Plantains are amazing and versatile. If you want
Speaker 1: to be right.
Speaker 2: Don't let duels say trash our beloved flavor. Okay, what beloved,
Speaker 2: our beloved fruit, our potassium, Our beloved plantains have.
Speaker 1: All the viightamins in minerals. I looked it up.
Speaker 2: Now when you cook them out, now, when you cook
Speaker 2: them out, all right, I can take that banana raw.
Speaker 2: All right, you can eat a plantain raw. Both people
Speaker 2: don't though you can? But should you?
Speaker 1: You know what we're gonna see.
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, if bunch of sand in my mouth,
Speaker 2: I bite right into a raw plantad.
Speaker 1: You have decided to live like a seventy really? Yes me, yes,
Speaker 1: it's surprising. I thought you're a nice sophisticated man.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, for your banana propaganda. All right, banana propaganda.
Speaker 1: You know, you know, We're just gonna hold on. Do
Speaker 1: people like bananas? I'm just gonna ask. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: ask this internet.
Speaker 2: How about? I asked the internet if people know what
Speaker 2: plant aids are?
Speaker 1: I googled this. People also ask what percentage of the
Speaker 1: population like? Is bananas? Right? Why do people like bananas
Speaker 1: so much? Why are bananas gross?
Speaker 5: Why do not?
Speaker 1: The first thing is on the urban List twenty eight
Speaker 1: things only people who hate But understand now, mind you,
Speaker 1: I don't like bananas. I'll eat banana nut bread because
Speaker 1: the bread has found a way to really to finally
Speaker 1: subdue the banana and put it in its place where
Speaker 1: it can help be a part of the flavor profile
Speaker 1: and not dominate it like a bully.
Speaker 2: So once again, we're gonna kick it over to you,
Speaker 2: the listener. Let us know how you feel about plantains,
Speaker 2: how you feel about bananas, how you feel about them
Speaker 2: versus each other? Maybe you love both? Does one edge
Speaker 2: it out over the other? And look, maybe maybe you
Speaker 2: love the thing or you hate the thing more than
Speaker 2: our argument could take into account. All right, Yes, I understand.
Speaker 2: I really do get it if you love plantains so
Speaker 2: much that my immaculate argument fell on deaf ears. I
Speaker 2: understand that, right. I even get how maybe you could
Speaker 2: have been swayed by some of the lies and propaganda
Speaker 2: that my co host throughout at bananas. All right, But
Speaker 2: I hope that you'll let us know how you feel.
Speaker 2: I hope you'll hit us up. Tell us how you're
Speaker 2: enjoying the show. Tell us if there's anything else that
Speaker 2: you want us to talk about versus anything else you
Speaker 2: wants to talk about. What's on us?
Speaker 1: Why Josh Johnson's living in a fool's paradise? Johnson is
Speaker 1: out here.
Speaker 2: In the clouds, all right, okay, sean honor.
Speaker 1: Josh Johnson has not only defamed me, slandered me. This
Speaker 1: is this is on record. This is all whack. So
Speaker 1: I think it's libel talking about eyes, spreading lies and
Speaker 1: propaganda knowing good damn well in his American Christian mind. Okay,
Speaker 1: he has been coming from my neck the whole time out.
Speaker 1: This ain't how we usually talk, This ain't how we
Speaker 1: usually get down. But Josh Johnson, it started to take
Speaker 1: things with personal Jesus.
Speaker 2: Okay, pray for me right now.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody's ever said, don't you dare pray
Speaker 1: for me? I'm making my closing argument. Shut up, boy, So.
Speaker 2: I knew what you were doing. I knew this prayer
Speaker 2: was since here you were praying around me. You were praying.
Speaker 1: Originally it was my closing statement, but then the Lord
Speaker 1: fell up, the spirit of the Lord fell upon my heart.
Speaker 1: And since my ankles are messed up and I cannot
Speaker 1: dance like David danced. I know there are people on
Speaker 1: this listen to this podcast, were like, man, I know
Speaker 1: they're Christian, but why they gotta keep talking about it?
Speaker 2: Oh wait, they need me and rewrite, so I'm gonna run.
Speaker 2: They just text faith here.
Speaker 1: Okay, So thank you so much for listening to hold
Speaker 1: up with me doing say Sloan and Josh Johnson. Josh
Speaker 1: has some shows coming up. Please look on his website
Speaker 1: at his Instagram. He literally just ran out of the room.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to hold up and just remember
Speaker 1: Josh is always wrong.
Speaker 5: Bye bye, everybody.
Speaker 7: Go explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe
Speaker 7: by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 2: Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 7: Ten Central on Comedy Central and streamful episodes anytime on
Speaker 7: Fairmount Plus.
Speaker 1: This has been a Comedy Central podcast